Thursday, May 30, 2013

The Fast and the Fashionable


On this day in 1911, the first Indianapolis 500 race was run. I'm pretty sure Waif wasn't a sponsor back then, but I'm sure Stacy would have kicked some serious butt if she'd been around at the time.

Fandom News

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Double Oh Mack Daddy!


Today is probably a major holiday to Upchuck: the anniversary of Ian Fleming's birth in 1908. Fleming was the author who created the character of James Bond, whom Upchuck frequently tries (and fails) to emulate. Mack seems like a more suitable candidate, although I wouldn't want to be Kevin if Mack ever gets that license to kill.

It was also on this day in 2001 that the episode "Life in the Past Lane" first aired. We got to meet Nathan, although he turned out to be a jerk (poor Jane doesn't have the best track record, does she?). On the bright side, we also got to witness Stacy's Epic Win against Sandi.

Fanfic Update!
  • ARC Ch.6 Drowned in a cappuccino, by ST91 (parts 8 and 9): "Daria stood hesitantly in front of her aunt, and behind her Jane and Andrea waited to see what would happen." (Part 9)

  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 17): "I wish I could ask someone to the dance. Like that'll ever happen. He sadly took a glance at the girl in the corner. Her name was Joan Miller, and he was absolutely in love with her."

  • B (IC: Brittany at Great Prairie State), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Go team!' squeaked Brittany from the top of the cheerleader pyramid."

  • Brittany In A Sorority (IC: Brittany at Great Prairie State), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Wow Jaslenne! You always find the cutest guys! How do you do it?' Brittany asked her fellow sorority sister while smoothing out her pajama top."

  • Darius Taylor, by Shiva (part 9): "Elsie glanced around her brother's shoulder and commented, 'Wow, your Dad still looks like he has a bug up his ass about something...' Darius sighed, 'Yeah, I noticed.'"

  • Death Comes to Lawndale, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "She laid there, screaming and crying. Everything was gone. Her entire family. Many of her friends."

  • Depths of Shallowness, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Your college is SO not cute, Daria.' Those were the first words out of her mouth when she visited me at Raft. Not hi, not I missed you, not it's good to see you again. But that was Quinn."

  • Dylan, by J-D (part 21a): "'So you and your parents decided to accept the invitation to Grove Hills?' Dylan raised an eyebrow at Rod. 'Yes, but how did you know?' 'Word's out about the keg party Kris Brocklethwaite's throwing while his parents are out of town.'"

  • The Finer Things on Earth (Iron Chef: Random Love Triangle Challenge!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Love can strike anyone. No matter the time, the place, or the circumstances, its power is undeniable."

  • He's In My Sights (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Ethan stood up and grabbed some paintballs from off his dresser. He loaded them into the rifle and pulled back the hammer. 'Who are you going to shoot?' Michelle asked. 'Sloane.'"

  • His and Hers (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Mr. DeMartino eyed Ms. Barch as she ate her salad in the teacher's lounge. Alone. 'Your loss, Timothy,' he chuckled to himself as he walked over and slipped into the chair on the opposite side of the table."

  • If Looks Could Kill, by SacredDust (part 2): "Quinn burst into tears. The doctor put a hand on her shoulder and she recoiled, squirming towards the end of the couch. 'It's okay, Quinn. Let it all out,' he said softly. And she thought guys her age were easy to fool."

  • I Loathe a Pay-Per-View, by SacredDust (part 5): "Quinn: 'OKAY!! So I AM worried about it. She says she doesn't want to team with me and stuff. My own flesh and blood, Daria, my own flesh and blood...but you know what? Fine! Who needs you anyway? I'm sure there are lots of cuter, more popular people who would be happy to wrestle with me. I'll just find one of them instead!'"

  • Left 4 Daria, by Charles RB (part 2): "'Thanks-' She stopped to fire two at another zombie. '-Jane.' 'Don't' BLAM 'mention' BLAM 'it.'"

  • The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 4, by peetz5050 (part 3): "Another colonel leaned forward with a look of contempt on his face. 'Listen to me Lieutenant Morgendorffer, just because you put on a uniform with your Father's insignia doesn't make you... you... my... I... aaaiiiiiiieeeee!!!!!!!!'"

  • Mine, by Vukodlak (part 3): "Daria was pacing back and forth in her room debating whether or not to tell him."

  • Of All The People That Won't Be Missed, by LongSnakeMoan (part 4): "'What the hell happened in Texas and why are you going back? I thought we were going to Georgia.' 'Some shit's come up. I have to go and take care of it.'"

  • Quinn's Code 08: Alternapalooza, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "At Cindy's place. Kristen and her brother, Keith, arrived. 'You're ready for Alternapalooza?' Keith asked. 'Of course,' Quinn said. 'Let's go,' Cindy said."

  • Rude Awakening Ep 13: The Hiring Game, by DIsaac (part 5): "KEVIN: Dude! What is up with with you? Since you punched me... MACK: By the way, sorry about that. I was totally in the wrong when I did that. KEVIN: Thanks, but ever since that dinner I have a feeling that there is something wrong with this relationship and we need to talk."

  • Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (part 5): "Ok, so the school day sucked worse than usual, the profs seemed attuned to the fact that an awesome BRO-tastic weekend awaited me and my bros, so they saddled us with enough work and ugly glares/words/etc to make even Fugly Daria blanch."

  • Unnamed story (The 1001 Humiliations of Quinn Morgendorffer), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "The last few weeks had been so wonderful, Quinn had gotten her Hogwarts letter from a beautiful snow white owl and had been introduced to the world of Magic by Professor Sprout. Even though she was a bit dirty, she was so nice and showed her all sorts of magic, plus it had been funny to learn that Daria didn't have any magic."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Daria: 'Quinn...what are you going to do with that potato gun?'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Sandi watched with satisfaction as Quinn happily ate the non fat, non dairy, gluten free cupcakes with special topping that she'd made for her last night."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'I hate my job.' Daria said into the mirror after her makeup team finished putting on her face."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria brushed some of her iron grey hair away from her face and contemplated her next words, the sentences appearing on the screen in front of her."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "It sounded like someone sliding keys across piano strings. Or guitar strings, perhaps."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Brittany was infuriated. So Daria wasn't really trying to steal Kevin from her. That was fine, but Kevin's refusal to pay attention to anything but the Pigskin Channel on the Morgendorffer family television."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'It's very nice of you all to get me a chair. It shows how understanding you're all being about these pay cuts to help increase the security budget.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Daria couldn't believe she heard Mystik Spiral's new sound."

  • Untitled Quinn/Daria Bonding Moment (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, you were right Quinn,' Daria said gleefully as Tom gasped his last breaths, 'Killing people is fun!'"

  • Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 15): "'So Sport, any big plans this week?' Victor shrugged while hiding his surprise at the sudden parental interest in his life, 'Nothing really, probably just go to school and hang with the Deviants. The usual.' 'The Deviants?' Jake asked while scratching his head. 'Aw hell,' Victor thought while mentally face palming. It was time for damage control."

  • 'What Memorial Day Means To Me,' by Quinn Morgendorffer, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Memorial Day is a day for memorializing. Because, can you have a holiday about memories if you DON'T remember them? I don't think so!"

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Ride, Sally Ride!


Happy Sally Ride Day! The holiday commemorates the accomplishments of Sally Ride, the first woman in space. Dr. Ride passed away last year, but her legacy continues on.

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of John Wayne in 1907. Jake will probably celebrate by looking at his collectible coins and watching Rio Bravo. Or is it Rio Grande?

Fandom News!

Friday, May 24, 2013

Jake is Not Amused


Happy birthday to Queen Victoria, who was born on this day 194 years ago. Jake looks surprisingly comfortable in the role, perhaps because as queen he can drink as much milk as he wants.

Fanfic Update!
  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 16.75): "The ASPS sat in the park a few miles away from Fielding, playing chess. While Gage tried his best not to be defeated by Ethan in ten moves, Michelle and Wehrung were evenly matched."

  • Bitches (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Yeah, I got so many bitches, bro! They're pretty much all over me!'"

  • Brofists! (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "All right, bro. Good news: you know how the chicks dig that chipped tooth look? Rockin' it. Thee, you can thee my tongue."

  • Crossing Stars, by Silver: "Mad Dog laughed, hugging his granddaughter, and then stepping back. 'Brought the rest of the adopted kids with ya, I see.' He glanced the rest of the Nemo crew over. 'Glad to see you all. Always worried when the news about Authority raids into League space starts lining up with what I hear through the back channels-'"

  • Daria and Co. are forced to read "Daria and Co. are forced to read 'My Immortal'" (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Clearly, Shiva doesn't take after George Carlin when it comes to sensitivity,' Daria said. She squinted at the screen."

  • Daria & Co. Are Forced to Read Themselves MST'ing a Story They've Never Heard Of (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Um...what's going on?' asked Daria. She stared dumbfounded at the words that flew across the screen."

  • Daria Race War (SFMB), by Bliss Ticks (part 10): "As chaos erupted in the halls of Lawndale High, Kevin drifted back to consciousness."

  • Depths of Shallowness, by SacredDust (parts 9 and 10): "Quinn was gone. I couldn't find my jacket. There was enough hot water left for my shower. And I was getting over one of the weirdest dreams of my life. This was going to be another interesting day." (Part 10)

  • A D-Verse That Should Not Be (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!!!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Like OMG!' A montone voice boomed across the quad at Lawndale High. Heads turned and gasps erupted from jaw-dropped mouths."

  • Dylan, by J-D (part 20b): "'Not everybody chews gum, you know', Dylan said to Rod. 'But she'd never seen a television before?' said Rod. 'Trust you to pick one of the weird ones.'"

  • Emo Tom is Emo (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (part 5): "Sandi Griffin, Stacy Rowe, Tiffany Blum-Deckler, and Quinn Morgendorffer. The Four Horsewomen of the Fashion Apocalypse."

  • The Fall, by Ranger Thorne (part 7): "You're gonna hate yourself in the morning, Willow pointed out. But there will BE a morning, Buffy thought back. I hope. Now get ready!"

  • Finding an Accord, by Lord Yellowtail (prologue part 1): "'Good morning, Mrs. Landingham,' Charlie Young chirped as he walked bristly into the Oval Office's foyer, crossing to his desk and dropping the stack of a half-dozen newspapers from towns and cities large and small onto his desk with a mighty thud."

  • The First Week in Andrea's Term as President of the Student Council (Iron Chef: Who is on the Student Council?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Coach Morris was found in her office swinging from a ceiling fixture with electrical cord cutting so deeply into her jugular that the first responding paramedics discovered that it had in fact cut into the flesh and was embedded so deeply that the funeral parlor where she wound up left large chunks of it in and just covered it with flesh colored makeup."

  • Get Mad, Bro (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "You never know in which shithole you'll meet the King of the Bros but in this dump peasant club there he was."

  • Glasses and Lipstick (chapter 3), by oni (part 3): "Walking over to the bed and sitting down on it, Linda gently ran her hands through her hair due to nerves. 'I want to try and fix things, Jake,' she said in a quite tone."

  • If Looks Could Kill, by SacredDust (part 1): "He could see their house from the third floor of the Dutchman Inn. He would wait until the cars were gone, then make his move."

  • Left 4 Daria, by Charles RB (part 1): "It was a crap time for Daria to move to Lawndale."

  • Of All The People That Won't Be Missed, by LongSnakeMoan (part 3): "Todd lowered the tablet and took a long sip of his juice, the darkened look crossing his face unobserved by the other guy who was otherwise engaged in watching his friend attempting to simulate sex with the dancing girl as she weaved away from him."

  • Random Article (Different Trajectory), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It's funny how one little thing can set your entire life on a completely different trajectory that you never even remotely considered until after the fact."

  • Revolution (Iron Chef: Lyrical Challenge II), by abe (COMPLETE!): "Jane's maniacal laughter rang out as she deleted the window displaying the Batman fanfiction, exposing the 'Phoenix in Flames' image that she used for her computer's desktop. 'Take that!' she chortled."

  • Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 8): "'Well, Jane, we did what we came here to do. So, when and where do we go next?'"

  • Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (parts 3 and 4): "There's lots of stuff that Bro's like to do for fun, like playing lacrosse, drinking, smokin' weed, playing Beer Pong, getting hammered, breaking shit, rioting, wreckin some slut at that optimal time of night that doesn't require you to talk to her." (Part 4)

  • Unnamed story (The 1001 Humiliations of Quinn Morgendorffer), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'No Quinn,' Stacy said firmly while pushing her away, 'I'm flattered that you find me attractive but I don't like girls, or you like that.'"

  • Unnamed story (The 1001 Humiliations of Quinn Morgendorffer), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked up from her reading and grimaced."

  • Unnamed story (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "As Tom Sloane made his way to the kitchen for some za, he hip-checked his sister into the door frame. 'Move, bitch!' he said as Elsie stumbled and tried to keep her balance."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Lyrical Challenge II), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "It had been there as long as most anyone could remember. There were a few out there still who could remember what the city had been like before Wily."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!!!!), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Quinn walked into the room and began to breathe lustily. 'My true love. I have come for you at last.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!!!!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Outside Daria's bedroom window, tree branches rustled gently. Shadows of the leaves could be seen waving across the blankets in a soothing pattern. The horrible pop music playing from Quinn's room had finally stopped. It was a perfect night for sleep."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Hey Daria, wanna go out for pizza?' asked Jane."

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Happy Birthday, Sirs!


Happy birthday to the late Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, born on this day in 1859. Doyle is best known for creating the fictional detective Sherlock Holmes, who was at least a bit smarter than Kevin.

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of Sir Laurence Olivier in 1907. Olivier was considered one of the greatest Shakespearean actors of all time, although apparently Jamie White could now give him a run for his money.

Fandom News!

Monday, May 20, 2013

Ka-Ching!


Happy Be a Millionaire Day! What are you waiting for? Go be a millionaire already! It's not like it's hard or anything. The Sloane family highly recommends cheaping out by going to the same place for vacation all the time. Oh, and insider trading.

Fanfic Update!
  • Almost Like Depth, by SacredDust (part 2): "Whoever said 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' clearly had not sprouted from the Lane family tree. A series of unfortunate events had brought Jane's benignly neglectful parents and fractured siblings back to the Lane home all at once. Much like the family renunion last year, this left both her and Trent with only one option: escape."

  • ARC Ch.6 Drowned in a cappuccino, by ST91 (part 7): "'So ready for the big night ?' asked Charles. 'Yep.' Replied Andrea. 'I am trembling with emotion.' Joked Daria."

  • Caught (Iron Chef: Random Love Triangle Challenge!), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Dear Tom, I want you to know that I won't forget what happened between us. What we had was something that I would never trade for anything."

  • Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal', by Shiva (parts 10.5 and 11): "'Due to an unforeseen glitch the previous computer skipped Chapter 28. You aren't required to read it due to this, but you may read it if you wish.'" (Part 11)

  • Death Comes to Lawndale, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 25 and 26): "'Man, this is one of the nastiest roads I've ever seen,' Ethan Yeager commented as his father carefully maneuvered down a twisting highway that had been carved out of the mountainside." (Part 26)

  • Depths of Shallowness, by SacredDust (parts 6 - 8): "I just really wanted to do something with her before she moved out and that turned into wanting to make her up and that turned into hugging her and that turned into...something special." (Part 7) (Part 8)

  • Dylan, by J-D (part 20a): "'Her name's Tess McCain-Palin, and she only started at Lawndale High recently. Before that she was only taught by her parents at home. She's attracted a lot of attention from some other girls here. They keep telling her how interesting she is and how great it is that she's come to Lawndale High, but I think she's having some trouble coping with the social dynamic of high school.'"

  • Ex Ex, by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "'Daria I need you to... who the hell is this skank?' 'Quinn haven't you ever heard of knocking?'"

  • I Loathe a Pay-Per-View, by SacredDust (part 4): "Barch: 'Oh, get out from under the desk, Tim! You're not wrestling him.' O'Neill: 'I w-wouldn't want to b-be one of his opponents tonight, either...' Barch: 'If you guys haven't heard enough yakking yet, here's some more from a strong, independent woman. Let's take you backstage again while this ninny recovers.'"

  • Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 11: Wilderness Adverturers, by Hyrin (part 3): "She felt a smile form on her face as she took in the beauty of the world around her, barely even noticing as one of the stars fell from the sky and crushed the tent that Jake was in. Confusion set in as another fell, crushing the girls' tent into a mess of fabric and metal."

  • Of All The People That Won't Be Missed, by LongSnakeMoan (part 2): "'You know I'm askin' you to marry me? I got you a ring, and a veil and something old and blue and all that? Will you marry me Jane?'"

  • The Punk and the Snark, by Shiva (part 9): "The next day at school Daria was often seen grabbing at something around her neck, but since it was hidden inside her thick green coat no one was sure what it was. In fact most people didn't know there was anything there at all and just assumed that the weird chick was doing something weird and dismissed it out of hand."

  • The Sickest Thing I've Written on a Sunday (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "As the crowd cheered and Amelia smiled, Daria sighed and took the stage, roughly pushing Skip aside. He was about to cry out in protest, but faltered when he noticed the various steely gazes being directed toward him."

  • Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (parts 1 and 2): "Ok so I find myself in some shit bar in Peasant Town with shittier music, but you know what? There's booze and some hot chicks, so it's all good." (Part 2)

  • Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'Jane, I didn't expect to se........are you okay? Do you need a doctor?' 'I'm fine Tom,' she replied, leaning against the dresser, a deep red liquid splattered across her clothes. 'It's not my blood.'"

  • Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'........Wow,' said Tom. 'We REALLY shouldn't have done that.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Daria opened her eyes and sat up in bed, fumbling around for her glasses. Her whole body ached. 'Ugh,' she said. 'Urgh,' a familiar voice answered next to her. 'God, Jane. What did we DO last night?'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Daria!' Helen moaned as she walked out of the police station with her eldest, 'I can't believe that I had to pay bail since you got yourself arrested for spanking a cop! What do you have to say for yourself?!'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "This certainly wasn't what should have happened."

  • Upchuck-Chan (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'I can't believe I've got all these h8ers!' Upchuck yelled at his computer screen while cramming more McDonalds into his mouth."

  • Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 14): "After eating breakfast with his friends and all five members of Mystik Spiral, Victor managed to reach the bathroom first and had a quick shower and a change of clothes. He made sure that the old ones were stuffed firmly into his overnight bag, to be washed when neither Quinn or Daria were in the laundry room."

  • A Year Into Your Future (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'And we're talking to the newly elected Governor of Maryland, Kevin Thompson--' 'I'm the Gee-Em!'"

Saturday, May 18, 2013

"Is that a...? Could that really be a...? Ewww!"


Today is International Museum Day, so this is your big chance to visit the Museum of Medical Oddities. Jake did...and like the postcard says, is now wishing he hadn't. But really, where else are you going to find a high-quality skull crusher?

It's also Visit Your Relatives Day, and if you leave right now you might be able to make it for the family croquet tournament! Clack...clack.

Fandom News!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Let Them Eat Wedding Cake!


Happy anniversary to Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI, who were married on this day in 1770. I'm sure their marriage was nothing but joy and delight. Quinn, of course, focuses on the important stuff:

Quinn: Did Marie Antoinette really have the champagne glasses molded after her...you know?

David: We really should be focusing more on the politics of the Revolution, but that's what they say. If she'd been a different body type, we'd be drinking champagne out of bowls.

Helen: David, I must say I'm quite impressed. I've never seen Quinn have so much fun studying.

Quinn: That's because in school they only teach you the really boring stuff. Mom? Dad? Did you know Marie Antoinette never said "let them eat cake"? That expression comes from a story about a princess, written by Rousseau. Right?

David: Right.

Jake: Lousy tabloids!

Fanfic Update!
  • Anything For You Kid (Iron Chef: Random Love Triangle Challenge!), by Shiva (part 1): "It had been hard being a widower, but they didn't call Nathaniel A. H. Morgendorffer 'Mad Dog' for nuthin."

  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 16.5): "Ethan's door creaked open steadily. Gage and Wehrung tiptoed in. They suppressed the urge to laugh at Ethan, who was snoring loudly in his armchair in front of his TV."

  • Cats, Cast and Card (was Broken), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "When Brian woke up the next morning he was confused, unable to remember why he felt so tired or why his arm was hurting so badly. Then he noticed the cast. Oh, yeah. Dammit."

  • Daria and Jane: A Confession of a Different Sort... (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria: 'Uh Jane?' [Jane turns around] Jane: 'Yeah Daria?'"

  • A Date With Quinn, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "It was odd, Duane thought. Even when Quinn got out of the house and away from her family, she didn't seem to relax much. She looked comfortable enough in his car, and if she had a problem with Cruisers she didn't bring it up. He didn't claim to understand the female mind, but there was definitely...well, something." (Part 3) (Part 4)

  • Death Comes to Lawndale, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 20 - 24): "A tall woman with yellow eyes, pale complexion, and midnight-black hair stood before the Sloane siblings, holding a bundle of papers in front of her reading-glasses." (Part 21) (Part 22) (Part 23) (Part 24)

  • Depths of Shallowness, by SacredDust (parts 2 - 5): "Clothes are my whole world. They make me feel safe. I never let guys touch me under them and I hate when they undress me with their eyes. What I put on is for them. What's underneath is different." (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

  • Ex Ex (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by peetz5050 (parts 1 and 2): "'Now girls I know it's not easy for you to move to a new school in a new town so don't be surprised if it takes some people a little while to warm up to you, right Daria?' The voice of JAKE came from the front seat." (Part 2)

  • Finding A New Lane, by RLobinske (part 2): "'Hi, Mr. Morgendorffer,' he said. 'Andy! How's it going?' 'Okay, I guess. Um, can you do me a favor?' 'I suppose so, what is it?' 'I need some help with my science fair project.'"

  • Is It the 41st Century Yet?, by baelparagon (part 1): "'Lady Morgendorffer, Astropath Scarlett has informed me that we will be transitioning into imperial space within the hour. Do you have any orders?' A voice voxed into the private cabin of the inquisitor. The girl who had been reading One flew over the Tyranid nest sighed, sitting up and almost punching the vox input button."

  • The Legend of Cora, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "The door opened slowly creaking on its hinges. Daria and Jane had seen too many horror movies to know that this was usually the first step of getting your body stuffed in a fridge, but they heard a masculine voice call, 'Sorry, I was getting dressed! Do come in, please!'"

  • Lurhmans's Crush (Iron Chef: Random Love Triangle Challenge!), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "It was late when Daria Morgendorffer, and her second cousin, Lurhman Barksdale, arrived at the Zen (or Zon, as Daria called it)."

  • Mack the Esteemer, by Shiva (part 21): "Jane kept on snickering, 'Don't worry Big M. I'm making a beeline for the AV Room first thing, I plan to sell copies of the "Mocha Nightmare Riots" to our fellow morons. I mean classmates.' 'No you were right the first time.' Daria commented with a wry grin."

  • The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 4, by peetz5050 (part 2b): "The coach stopped close by and a young woman garbed as a Dhanuan nun in a high wimple and dark gray worsted robe got out and approached her. 'Have I the honor of addressing the Lady Quinn?' She asked in a barely audible voice."

  • Of All The People That Won't Be Missed, by LongSnakeMoan (part 1): "'Hello.' She looked up and immediately she felt her cheeks flush red. The delivery guy stood in front of the open door, piled high with Trent's crap, chewing on a piece of gum."

  • Stuck in a Ruttheimer (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by SinisterExaggerator (part 2): "Brett turned from the driver's seat and smirked. 'This car is a family heirloom.' The sudden screech! of the brakes indicated to all inside that headlight had not met wall. 'But not in the "crown jewels" sort of way. More like hemophilia.'"

  • Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'It's a funny thing, you know? I never wanted this.' Tom's remark went unanswered. Not because Upchuck lacked a response. It was just a bit difficult for a Kindred who'd been staked to do things like move or talk."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Jane's Subtraction), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'And what does six minus three equal? Miss Lane.' Ms. June asked without looking behind her as she drew basic math equations on the board."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'In order for Lawndale High School to raise money to overcome our crippling budget shortfalls,' Ms. Li announced over the loudspeaker, 'a group of selected students will be assigned to Room 243 from 12 pm to 1 pm to provide...uh...body services to high ranking businessmen, politicians, and other interested parties. We're expecting you to give your all for Lawndale High.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'I'm going to PROVE that I can be just as good as Daria,' Quinn muttered angrily as her fingers flew on the keyboard, 'Then she won't have a leg to stand on.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Gee Quinn,' Stacy cooed as she had lunch with her old High School friend, 'I'm really impressed with how well you're doing.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So what was your old town like?' Tori asked curiously. Daria laughed, 'Oh, it was a pretty nice place until things went crazy.' 'Define crazy.' Tori stated as she looked at the new popular girl."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Daria...I kissed Quinn. I wasn't thinking clearly, and I kissed her. I...' Jodie trailed off at the expression on Daria's face."

  • The Vampire of the Seven Veils (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (part 1): "It had sucked that Jane had just upped and ditched her for some guy she just met, and with Trent and the guys blazed and expected to play another set there wasn't a ride to be had. So Daria found herself hoofing it in the middle of the night in the deserted sidewalks near Dega Street."

  • Worldburner Epilog: Trip to the Beach, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Standing in front of the Ringbearer Archangel and Foundation Guide Reiko Tsereba, Agency Hypersphere Supervisor Richard said, 'Look, after all we've been through with the Judith crisis, we deserve a little break and I know a perfect, isolated beach where we won't be disturbed. We'll bring some big umbrellas, lawn chairs, some cool drinks, a few munchies and simply sit back and enjoy the atmosphere.'"

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

No, Kevin, not Lois and Clark


It was on this day in 1804 that Lewis and Clark set off on their famous expedition to explore the western portion of the United States. Along the way they found a guide, Sacagawea, who was probably far better at the task than Quinn would have been. Can't you picture it? "Ewwww! The trail's all muddy and it's ruining my shoes! Aren't there any shopping malls out here? And can one of you guys get me a soda? Diet with crushed ice."

Fandom News!

Sunday, May 12, 2013

"M" is for the Migraines that She Gives Me


Happy Mother's Day! Helen has to work all day, but that's okay because Quinn has a date and Jake forgot what day it is, anyway. I'm sure Daria's been hard at work in the kitchen whipping up a tasty Mother's Day brunch, though!

Today is also the date that the Morgendorffers' calendar always seems to be stuck on. Is Lawndale in a Groundhog Day-esque time loop in which it's always May 12? Or is the family just too darn lazy to change the calendar? You make the call.

Fanfic Update!
  • About to Be Used (IC: Thank God You're Here), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Thank God you're here!' Quinn yelled once the Three J's were inside the Morgendorffer's house."

  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 16.1): "There was a knock at Ethan's door. He slowly opened it, and found all three ASPS standing before him, heads slightly bowed."

  • Broken, by JoeMerl (parts 1 and 2): "Brian sometimes felt strange even remembering that he had a mother, since he only knew that on other people's word. He often suspected that they were lying to him, and that while Brittany had a mom Brian only had a dad." (Part 2)

  • Daria and Jane: On Korean Men Using Makeup (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane: 'Guess what's in the news?' Daria: 'What?' Jane: 'Apparently there's a new craze in South Korea, the guys are buying makeup the way the Fashion Club does.'"

  • A Date With Quinn, by SacredDust (part 1): "As Duane pulled up in front of the Morgendorffers' house, he tried to remember where the line between fantasy and reality had blurred."

  • Death Comes to Lawndale, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 16 - 19): "Nate Ekard was driving towards his favorite club late at night, but at the last moment, he angrily cursed at himself and made a U-turn." (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19)

  • Depths of Shallowness, by SacredDust (part 1): "It was kind of an accident. I wish I could say it was completely an accident. But that wouldn't be true."

  • DW: The Many Doctors (Chapter 15), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The TARDIS materialised outside the town. 'The Old West,' the Doctor said. 'That's good. Haven't been there for a while,' Felicia said."

  • In Deep Water (IC: Daria the Time Lord), by Roentgen (part 2): "'Class,' Mr. DeMartino said, 'I would like you to meet our new student. Bridgette Stone.'"

  • Keep Up the Pace (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Daria was going to enter her parents room to ask for some dinner money, but she heard the following exchange: 'Jake, can you go a little bit faster, it's like you can't keep up.'"

  • Losers No More , by Shiva (part 16): "Daria and Graham reached the bleachers and parked their butts just in time to hear Upchuck go, 'Now ladies if you're wondering how you're making the Chuckmaster feel. Why... You make me want to SHOUT!"

  • Love is a Poison (Iron Chef: Random Love Triangle Challenge!), by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "'Tiffany dear thank you again for inviting me to take a cup of tea, I really needed it.' 'I imagined it Sandi, indeed plan a marriage must be very difficult and tiring.'"

  • The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 4, by peetz5050 (part 2): "The maid spoke up voluntarily for the first time, tears in her eyes and a wail in her voice. 'We are all stricken with horror at what has occurred under this roof. The tragic loss of our noble Lady and her boys especially has crushed my heart. Oh! What will become of us all? What will we do? The Duke is dead! The House of Morgendorffer is in ruins!'"

  • The Missing Princess, by peapotmaster (part 1): "It was a hot day in Mycroft Hills, as me, Penny Wise, and my fellow girl detectives where getting the latest issue of Girltective Comics Magazine online."

  • The Popular Girl Speaks, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Hi, my name is Tori Jericho. I'm currently a Senior at Lawndale High, a few more weeks and I'll be graduating."

  • Sandi For Jesus (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'LIKE, REPENT!' Sandi screamed while waving a big sign saying that the End was near, 'THE END IS, SO TOTALLY NEAR!'"

  • Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 7): "'Doctor Morgendorffer, you told me to alert you if there were any new developments in the O'Neill case.'"

  • Stuck in a Ruttheimer (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Wait,' Daria blurted out, wondering if tinnitus had kicked in yet, 'you're friends with Upchuck?'"

  • The Three B's (Iron Chef: Random Love Triangle Challenge!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Jane was feeling the itch."

  • Topless Day (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Topless Dayyyyyyy!' Ms. Li announced brightly as everyone tried to look away. 'Show your love for Llllllawndale Hiiiigh by going topless!"

  • Unnamed story (IC: Thank God You're Here), by Dariclone2 (COMPLETE!): "Daria sighed and slumped her shoulders. It had been another rough day of classes at Raft University and all she wanted to do was get to her apartment and have a long, hot soak. She'd never realized classes would be this challenging in her second year."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'So Quinn, want to go to a movie?' Stacy asked as she desperately changed out of her now-unfashionable slip dress. To think she'd almost committed a crime like that in front of Quinn! But it was okay--she had a foolproof outfit in mind."

Friday, May 10, 2013

It's the Helen Express, Right on Schedule!


Happy anniversary to the Golden Spike, which was driven on this day in 1869 at Promontory Summit. This marked the completion of the First Transcontinental Railroad, something of interest to train fans in Daria fandom (and I know there's at least one!).

Also, happy birthday to the late film producer David O. Selznick, born on this day in 1902. Selznick produced, among other things, Gone with the Wind, which was referenced in various Daria episodes and multiple alter egos. Someone on staff must have been a big fan.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Oh, Petty Officer Kevvy!


It's V-E Day, or Victory in Europe Day, which is the anniversary of the surrender of Nazi Germany near the end of World War II. Brittany and Kevin are celebrating that the war is over on the right...or maybe they're just celebrating that it's Wednesday.

Today is also School Nurse Day, so let's all honor Nurse Chase! But don't bother showing her that rash. She's a little squeamish.

Fanfic Update!
  • Alison Wonderland (Iron Chef: Alison Wonderland!), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Painting, Jane thought. The one profession that involves willfully inhaling carcinogenic fumes. How the hell else could she have persuaded me to follow her? She found herself wearing a mopish frown as Alison led her down one of Ashfield's numerous wilderness trails."

  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 16): "'I'd say I'm impressed, but you're just a natural freak.' Ethan turned to meet Dylan. She gave him a warm smile. 'I'm happy to see you again, Ethan.'"

  • Daria+Stacy fluff, by Astrocar82 (part 1): "Stacy Rowe's spilling her diet soda all over her dress was a moment that should really only be amusing, but it turned into much more than that."

  • Death Comes to Lawndale, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 13 - 15): "oh god i want to get out of here why won't they let me leave" (Part 14) (Part 15)

  • The Fall, by Ranger Thorne (part 6): "They turned to see the Sith looking at them. 'You are both useless. One is a mother who let her daughter be locked away for telling the truth. And the other is a child who can only hide behind those with real power. Wroth raised her hand as the Force lightning began to dance between her fingers. 'What could you possibly say that would keep me from killing you?'"

  • Girl Code? (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Uh, that'll sound disturbing with what I'm going to say next. How come girls always go to the bathroom together?'"

  • The Great Genderswap of Lawndale!, by Shiva (part 8): "As soon as Darius had said, 'Kerry?' the girl on the other end exclaimed, 'Darius! I'm sorry I forgot to call you last night, but me and Brint kind of got distracted...' Darius felt himself throw up a little in his mouth at that."

  • In Deep Water (IC: Daria the Time Lord), by Roentgen (part 1): "The body of Daria Morgendorffer lay there, unattended and would soon be placed on blocks to begin the autopsy. Her skin looked swollen, something like a sausage. Even the eyelids had swelling, as if she had gone two rounds with a boxer before suffocating to death."

  • Jackie Goes to College (Who is she?/Iron Chef: Slutty Girl), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It fell so surreal as the red brick buildings of Raft University came into the view, but as Jackie Wentworth drove the unfamiliar campus streets in her white T-Bird she couldn't help but smile. 'This is it,' she said to herself, 'This is the start of college.'"

  • The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 3, by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "The Right Honorable Lady the Countess of Makteer, Tochter des Herzogs, Vicontessa di Mittenstan, the Lady Quinn Heloise Evangelina Bella Dolorosa Jakobsdottir of the Duchy of Morgendorffer was getting bored and trying desperately not to fidget."

  • The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 4, by peetz5050 (part 1): "By the time they'd reached the foothills of the northern range all of their shields were much stronger and they were in a state of wary readiness that surpassed the professional mercenaries. After a brief halt to rest and water the horses Daria announced they'd be starting the real lessons on the morrow. Everyone groaned."

  • The Punk and the Snark, by Shiva (part 8): "'Oh my!' Was the clever refrain that --- managed to blurt out once the shock wore off."

  • Still Mental In The Morning..., by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "'Hand of god! That's how I ended up with the name "Spatula Man"!'"

  • Trent-cam (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'And now...' Mr. O'Neill gushed in his faux happy voice, 'A film by Daria and Jane.' At their desks, Jane was grinning like she won the lotto, Daria however seemed bored and a tad annoyed."

  • Twilight in the Dariaverse (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Oh Sandi!' Quinn cooed happily as she and the Fashion Club sat around in a circle in her room, 'You're reading Twilight!'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Random Love Triangle Challenge!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Why, hello, beautiful.' Willow turned. As if from nowhere, a colorful hot air balloon had landed in her yard."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Quinn beamed and clapped her gloved hands in delight. 'Why, I thought of no bettah way to dessicate our brand new Lawndale High Tea Room than with a nice tea pahty! What, what?'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Tom smiled at the email from his ex-girlfriend Daria, oh sure their breakup hadn't been the best thing in the world but hey. That's how the cookie crumbled, right? He read the title, 'Here's a fun story to read.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "It was a warm, early summer day in Lawndale. The heat was barely disturbed by a cool breeze, which slowly rocked the hammock which Charles 'Upchuck' Ruttheimer III had taken up residence."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Daria mumbled something unintelligable in her sleep. Then there was an explosion."

Monday, May 6, 2013

"Oh, the lack of humanity."


Today is the anniversary of the Hindenburg disaster in 1937, an infamous tragedy that's notable within fandom because of the poster adorning the inside of Daria's locker.

Also, happy birthday to the late Sigmund Freud, born on this day in 1856. Without Freud, we would not have psychotherapy. Without psycho therapy, we would not have "Psycho Therapy." Without that episode, we would not have gotten that awesome role-playing scene.

Today's essay question: Does Jake's milk obsession have its roots in some deep-seated trauma related to his mother? Explain.

Fandom News!

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Put Out Fires He Will!


Happy International Firefighters' Day! I don't know about you, but Trent is probably the last person I'd rely on to put out any fires at my house. If he didn't sleep through the alarm, he'd get distracted by the flames and start working on a song while the house crumbled into ashes.

Today is also Star Wars Day, because (say it with me) May the Fourth be with you. Now everyone groan with me, too.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Author as a Luchadore (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Now, Quinn, what do you see here?' Mrs. Manson held up a silhouetted image of two people in conversation, which Quinn was quick to point out. 'That's right. Can you make up a little story about what it is they're discussing?'"

  • Creepy Things Kids Say... (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So Helen...' Linda Griffin said to her frenemy at the next barstool, 'What's the creepiest thing that your children have ever said or done?'"

  • Death Comes to Lawndale, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 1 - 12): "Dammit! Amy cursed. Where the hell did I leave my glasses?"(Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12)

  • Glasses and Lipstick (chapter 3), by oni (part 2): "Sandi looked embarrassed as she glanced at both sisters. Quinn's frown slowly faded away as she watched as her club leader's insecurity began to seep out of her usual dominating persona. '...I want to talk to your mom.'"

  • I Hate You So Much Right Now, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Miss Morgendorffer. Do you mind if I come in for a moment? I'm Lex Luthor.'"

  • The Lucid One, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Quinn Morgendorffer glided into Cranberry Commons like a wandering spirit come to rest. Her brown suede shoes seemed to barely touch the gleaming floors, and the panorama of commerce before her made her heart soar."

  • Mackbeth, by SinisterExaggerator (part 6): "MACKBETH: As far as I'm concerned, a captain sits. You mad, bro?"

  • The Punk and the Snark, by Shiva (part 7): "After putting it off for several days through stonewalling tactics, Daria had been forced to relent and conceded to Helen's demands to meet her first official boyfriend."

  • Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 6): "As she finished putting on her jacket, Daria looked back at Kevin's limp naked passed out body, shook her head and said: 'What a pity. Two heads and neither of them work..'"

  • ST: A Tale of Temporal Gifting, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "Commander Natima Dacet was in her quarters meditating. She was thinking over the events that had occurred since the Enterprise had travelled through time. 'Oralius, guide me in this situation so that the right timeline may be restored' she thought."

  • Unnamed story (IC Faceswapping), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Quinn opened her eyes in refreshed delight as the first rays of dawn pierced her bedroom window."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'It was an...interesting story, Daria,' Timothy O'Neal said, glancing up from the stapled pile of pages in his lap 'But was it really necessary to portray Mr. DeMartino as a raving berzerker of the Chaos god Khorne?'"

  • Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 13): "Though Daria found herself thinking of a certain little brother and had the mental image of Jane's older brother 'watching' over him. Trent was many things, and inspired strange feelings that left her very uncomfortable. But a responsible caregiver was a bit of a stretch."

  • Vivian, by ST91 (part 9): "'Because it is a lost cause, Ms. Blake. These documents are final, you have waived all rights over your children! There is no way to reverse the judgment. Now excuse me but I have to ask you to leave, soon there will be a meeting of the partners of this firm and I have to participate. Good day.' said Mrs. Davis, indicating the end of the speech and pointing to the door of her office."

Thursday, May 2, 2013

"They're so cute when they smile at you. Hello, precious!"


Happy Baby Day! Celebrate by going "Goo goo!" at babies until they cry. That's Jake's plan, anyway.

Speaking of Jake, today is also the day when one of his cooking idols, Stonewall Jackson, was shot by his own men. It's not known for certain whether or not Johnny cakes were the cause or not, but I'm not about to rule it out.

Fandom News!