Sunday, November 30, 2014

Never Surrender...Unless It's Against Corporal Ellenbogen


Jake's doing a pretty good impression of Winston Churchill, perhaps the best-known of England's prime ministers, who was born on this day in 1874. There are a few similarities between the two, most notably their love of alcohol. I suppose if Jake had become the leader of his country, Mad Dog might have actually had something kind to say to his son. But I doubt it.

We also wish a happy birthday to both Jonathan Swift and Mark Twain, two famous satirical authors who were born on this day in 1667 and 1835. It probably goes without saying that Daria would be a fan of both, although she might have had a favorite between the two. After all, I don't think we ever saw her wear a Jonathan Swift nightshirt.

Fandom News!

Friday, November 28, 2014

To Shop or Not to Shop?


The Fashion Club is out shopping because today is Black Friday, the busiest (and most notorious) shopping day of the year. Quinn's on the receiving end of some dirty looks because she probably just pointed out that today is also Buy Nothing Day. It sounds like a good idea to me, but I don't think the girls there are going to go for it.

Fanfic Update!
  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 28): "Diane looked at the young man and smiled. Something about him terrified her. Yet she quashed her anxiety, fearing that any display of unease would be enough for the young man to attack her—or worse."

  • Forbidden Fashion (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "Stacy Rowe was walking the streets of Lawndale, a bag of clothes in her hand and a smile on her face as she took in the cool fall air."

  • Help! (Happy Thanksgiving!), by legendeld (COMPLETE!): "Helen Morgendorffer puttered in her kitchen sighing at the emptiness that she didn't think she'd ever get used to. When the phone rang she didn't hesitate to answer it. 'Mom, I need help.' The caller didn't need to identify herself."

  • Hey Man, Nice Shot, by 45Ranger (COMPLETE!): "Daria came to a decision, pulled out her phone and dialed. When it was answered, Daria listened, and then said: 'Amorette? It's Daria.'" (Part 7)

  • Mine, by Vukodlak (part 6): "Daria stared idly out the car window as her parents drove them to the Doctors office where she'd undergo another pregnancy test."

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (parts 7 and 8): "Monday morning came around at last, and Daria knew it was time to head to school and start some shit. She sighed to herself as she dressed, confused and annoyed by the parade of emotions getting tangled up in her head." (Part 8)

  • More Human than Human, by Bill Bruford (part 1): "Sandi Griffin leaned on the the counter of the bathroom sink, hands twisted slightly to grip the edge, letting her face stop inches from the mirror. A strange feeling settling into her chest as she thought about what had just transpired."

  • Rude Awakening: The Battle of The Morgendorffers, by DIsaac (part 3): "(It is 3:30 am in the morning when Daria and Kevin hear a knock at the door) DARIA: You're the man. Go answer it. KEVIN: I would but this is usually the time you get up. DARIA: Damn You're right."

  • Scars, by legendeld (parts 6 and 7): "Daria sat on the floor next to Quinn as she colored with childlike abandonment while their parents talked with the psychiatrist. Finding out her parents were seeing someone about their apparently vague marital problems might have alarmed her any other time." (Part 7)

  • Thanksgiving in Avalon (Happy Thanksgiving!), by legendeld (COMPLETE!): "Jane Morgendorffer smiled at the laid out Thanksgiving dinner that was perfectly spread out on the ten foot long table. Literally every possible side item that could be associated with the day was placed around the three turkeys."

  • Unnamed story (Plot Bunnies IV: Plot Bunnies in Paradise), by NightGoblyn: "'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town.' The man glanced around the car, at his daughters, all of which were ignoring him. He cleared his throat and added, 'Especially for you, Helen, right?'"

  • Working At The Car Wash (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2014!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Daria ignored the music as she turned to her best friend. 'I am going to get you for this, Lane, I promise you – I will get you.'"

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

At Least Jake Didn't Make This One!


Quinn's whipped up something special for National Cake Day, and I have to say I'm a little impressed by her baking skills. I wouldn't even have thought she knew how to boil water. Then again, it may look nice but who knows how it tastes? Hell, for all we know she just frosted a hatbox.

Whether or not Quinn's cake is a lie, why not celebrate with a tasty treat of your own? Or, if you don't have a sweet tooth, you could listen to the band Cake's song, "Daria," instead. Still counts in my book!

Fandom News!

Monday, November 24, 2014

Daria Prefers to Lose Friends and Alienate People


Jodie's rereading How to Win Friends and Influence People in honor of the author, Dale Carnegie, who was born on this day in 1888. How she has time for what I assume is leisure reading is beyond me, but I'm sure she's just cramming in a few pages before her next obligation.

Today is also Evolution Day, which celebrates the anniversary of the publication of Charles Darwin's book On the Origin of Species in 1859. In the immortal words of Kevin Thompson, "Darwin's the monkey guy, right? I like monkeys."

Fanfic Update!
  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 77): "Unnoticed, in a familiar, yet parallel universe... 'Substitutions for the fourth quarter! Garrity, Parham, Dressler, ---! You're up!'"

  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 27): "'Jay, c'mon--if you get behind this--'"

  • Hey Man, Nice Shot, by 45Ranger (parts 4 and 5): "Daria stepped through the door. 'You wanted to see me?' 'Yes, Morgendorffer, take a seat. I want to discuss the shortcomings of your training.' Armalin raised his hand to forestall the protest he knew was coming." (Part 5)

  • Lawndale High Society (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "'Expelled, Elsie? Expelled?' Angier said in disgust, 'Five generations of Sloanes have all graduated from Fielding and you're the first to get expelled. What do you have to say for yourself, young lady?'"

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (parts 5 and 6): "'I hereby call this meeting of the Misery Chicks Local 513 to order,' Jane said, grinning broadly. Stacy chuckled, Andrea took a drag off her cigarette and said nothing, and Daria rolled her eyes. Quinn glanced around the circle, shrugged to herself, and walked over to the nearby tool shed to see if anything interesting was inside." (Part 6)

  • Redux, by Princess_Pasta (part 16): "'Go ahead and say it.' Daria muttered, 'This is what I deserve for treating you like crap. You can have the reigns back. I'm through.' Quinn shook her head, 'I wasn't going to say that. I don't really know what to say.'"

  • Scars, by legendeld (parts 4 and 5): "Helen Morgendorffer had felt many emotions throughout her life, standing in her bedroom with her husband looking like he was having to restrain himself from tossing her under the nearest bus was bringing out something far worse than fear, shame." (Part 5)

  • That was then, this is weird, by Ranma (COMPLETE!): "'I'll go see if we have any popcorn, we should since Trent's afraid of it now' Jane said getting up from her bed. 'That sounds goo... wait; what? Trent's afraid of popcorn, how'd that happen?' asked Daria with her left eyebrow raised."

Saturday, November 22, 2014

"Now cashews, those are what the big guys eat...the CEOs!"


Jake is contemplating his very favorite nut on National Cashew Day, and I think he's a little worried that he isn't worthy to eat a CEO-level snack. Go for it, Jake. Shoot for the stars!

In Daria fanfic news, paperpusher's story "Her, Uh, Cane" was published on FanFiction.net on this day in 1998, making it the earliest Daria fanfic on the site. It depicted a hurricane before the episode "Daria!" did, even though no one broke into song in the fanfic.

Fandom News!

Thursday, November 20, 2014

It's a Good Day to Quit!


It's the Great American Smokeout, so put away your cigarettes, cancel your pot party, and put a stop to that exorcism in the girl's bathroom. It's never been established whether or not Trent smokes anything, but with that laid-back attitude and recurring cough, I know where my money lies.

Fanfic Update!
  • Always Watches (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "'I made you a present!' Five year old Jane Lane was holding a crudely wrapped gift in her paint stained hands, a wide toothy grin spread across her grubby face."

  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 25 and 26): "'Daria?' It was Thomas Klebanow, the managing editor. 'Can you come into the conference room?'" (Part 26)

  • Bedtime Story, by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "Another day was coming to a close and so Daria walked into her son's room, to tuck him in and kiss him goodnight."

  • A Boring Summer, by ST91 (part 1): "Dario Morgendorffer was lying on his stomach on the bed listlessly flipping through a book. It had been less than two weeks after the end of the school but Dario could not wait for it to start again. He was dying of boredom."

  • Broken, by tafka (part 2): "I felt ill. This was the last thing I needed. To be singled out in front of the whole class. Why not the whole school while he was at it?"

  • Daria Saves Christmas! (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Tuisto (COMPLETE!): "Daria was walking down Dega street, she had just a few minutes before past by the Good Times chinese restaurant when she saw him, the young blond man in a red shirt and a red cap, was leaning against a wall, his face turning blue and he grabbed at his throat."

  • Dials are Overrated (Collection of old never used story starters), by legendeld (unfinished): "With a grunt she lifted it up only to hear a loud cracking noise. The fall lasted a second at the most and the impact shook her entire body. 'DARIA!'"

  • First Day of Summer - Jane's Day, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The knocking was what woke Jane up. 'Who could that be?' she wondered as she slipped out of bed. She slipped on her dressing gown over her bedclothes and headed downstairs."

  • Hey Man Nice Shot, by 45Ranger (parts 1 - 3): "Colonel Armalin sat at the small conference table with Nemec, Verbeck, Jahr, and Randall – The Legion Training Cadre – as they had their weekly meeting to discuss the progress of the various Legionnaires." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Life and Other Plans (Collection of old never used story starters), by legendeld (unfinished): "'I'm sorry we'll have question and answer time a little later.' Her new English teacher said before looking like he was about to go into more of the feel good nonsense that was her current punishment for not fitting in with the crowd. 'I need to go to the bathroom.'"

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 4): "The PA system crackled to life, and Ms. Li's voice said, 'Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane to my office. Thank you.' 'That's not ominous,' Jane said, regarding the speaker suspiciously."

  • Scars, by legendeld (parts 1 - 3): "The first thing she felt was pain, a pain that seemed to cover her entire body. It pushed away the comfortable numbness and forced her closer and closer to consciousness." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Sick Sad Web, by Princess_Pasta (parts 1 and 2): "Andrea Hecuba was tired. Not tired enough to really want to go home but enough that she could feel it with each step she took." (Part 2)

  • Star Trek: Daria - Resurrection, by echopapa (parts 12 and 13): "'I had returned to my cabin,' the cadet continued, 'And was almost finished packing when I saw a movement outside my window. I looked up and saw a ghostly shape glide up alongside the Enterprise and come to a halt...'" (Part 13)

  • Tedieval Times (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Life in the Middle Ages? I suppose we could synthesize the bubonic plague in science class, but could we get government approval? And how will our positions in the feudal system be assigned? Oh dear! Will I have to start bathing less often?"

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Can Daria and Kevin Teach Him to Talk in a High-Pitched Voice?


Happy birthday to the cartoon character Mickey Mouse, who first appeared in Steamboat Willie on this day in 1928. Yeah, I know that isn't a picture of Mickey Mouse, but I'm in no mood to get sued and Roger was more than willing to step into the role for the day. Just keep Brian Taylor away from him.

Fandom News!

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Yes, I Believe They Do Want Fries With That


Daria and Jane are waiting in line for some delicious fries (or perhaps some delicious things) because today is National Fast Food Day. If you want to see what it would be like if the Fashion Club got jobs in the fast food industry, look no further than S-C's fanart "Burger World." Makes me laugh every time I see it.

Fanfic Update!
  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 23 and 24): "McNulty grinned. 'So—are you so all that that Hopkins will let you expense this meal?' Colvin laughed. 'Maybe just the steak, but everything else? Not a chance in hell—but I think what happened today is worth celebrating—Doctor.'" (Part 24)

  • Daria's Rugrats (IC Runaway Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (prologue): "Didi Pickles was reviewing class notes for the next day when the door bell rang. 'At this hour?' she wondered. She went to the door. What she saw next shocked her."

  • Dinnertime (IC: Daria, the MasterChef), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Passing the doorway, she was not surprised to see her sister inside, Leaning above the kitchen isle and with her back to the stove, Daria momentarily took her eyes from her work to check her sister."

  • Forced Impression, by Indigo (part 4): "'You hear that? He hasn't got a prayer.' Jane commented as they continued walking. Before Daria could respond, Quinn noticed her sister passing by and called after her. 'Hi Daria.'"

  • A Man and His Box, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 10): "It was very weird, seeing Lawndale from the perspective of the past. Over the past day the Doctor, Nyssa and herself had scoured the town for unusual activity, only taking a break to spend the night at the Dutchman Inn."

  • Misunderstood (Collection of old never used story starters), by legendeld (unfinished): "Daria wiped away the wetness that was running down the side of her face, wincing when it stung. The hand she lowered was slick with blood. A gentle knocking on the window got her attention."

  • Special Needs (Collection of old never used story starters), by legendeld (unfinished): "Daria Morgendorffer ran her hands through her shoulder length hair and groaned loudly before trying to speak. 'So where exactly does this leave us?'"

  • With Zombies (Collection of old never used story starters), by legendeld (unfinished): "'So to summarize, we now have our afternoons free and your parents are falling over themselves to keep your self esteem up.' Jane said as she walked with her new friend. They were heading toward Jane's house to celebrate their successful escape from the self esteem class or as Daria called it, torture."

Friday, November 14, 2014

The Prancing Principal


Ms. Li is reprising her "brief career as a dancer" in this alter ego of the late dancer and actress Louise Brooks, who was born on this day in 1906. The Angst Guy has previously pointed out that Jane bears a striking resemblance to Brooks, but I'll let you decide.

Today is also World Diabetes Day, and Mr. O'Neill and Jane would like to share this advice with everyone:
Mr. O'Neill: You know what they say; a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

Jane: Not if you're diabetic.
Fandom News!

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Do Anchovies Go Well with Processed Cheese?


Ted's shocked because his pizza is missing the anchovies, but that's okay because it's National Pizza With Everything (Except Anchovies) Day. I suppose if you really, really want to have anchovies on your pizza, then go ahead. I won't tell. Just make sure you brush your teeth afterward, okay?

Fanfic Update!
  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 21 and 22): "'You wanna what, Zig?!?!' Nicky Sobotka roared, and slammed the barrier that separated him from his cousin with the phone receiver." (Part 22)

  • Character defining moments, by Walter Kovacs (COMPLETE!): "Days like these made Charles Rodriguez, the caseworker handling this file wish he had called in sick two weeks ago when his stomach felt slightly gimpy from last night's dinner."

  • How Jodie Landon Became a Woman of Independent Means (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Michelle was at the counter, pouring a cup of coffee from a steaming carafe. She turned to her daughter, smiling mischievously, and held out the mug of hot liquid."

  • One Way to Do It, by Tippedover (COMPLETE!): "Stacy sat in the driver’s seat of her fathers Crown Victoria, and tried to stay calm. She could feel the sweat starting to pop up to the surface (Tiffany: Staaacccyyy! Ewwwwww!) as she stretched the seat belt across her chest and lap."

  • The Phantom of the Library, by neonhomer (part 6): "The home of the Min's was a modest, two-story structure with a perfectly manicured lawn and an in-ground pool in the backyard. Matt could count the number of times he'd been there on one hand."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Tuisto (COMPLETE!): "The sun had just finished setting over Lawndale as Helen Morgendorffer walked the empty halls of her Law Firms offices, passing by empty room after empty room, until she reached her corner office. She was hoping she'd be able to get some motions finished and be home before 10:00 this time..."

  • West End Girls (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "She was too cold. He was too rough. They would destroy each other soon enough if one of them didn't have the courage to break it off and she had never lacked for courage. So she broke first. 'Over. We're over.'"

  • What it Takes (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Daria entered the bathroom and turned on the shower but she didn't get in right away. She stared at herself in the mirror with utter disgust."

Monday, November 10, 2014

Today's Blog Post was Brought to You by the Number 45!


Let's all join Muppet Daria in wishing a happy 45th birthday to Sesame Street, which first aired on this day in 1969. Mike Xeno wrote a Daria/Sesame Street crossover fanfic, "D is for Daria," which is worth a read even if you aren't a Sesame Street fan.

Today is also National Forget-Me-Not Day, and O'Neill will be happy to celebrate it with all of his students as soon as he can finally memorize their names from his seating charts. Don't hold your breath.

Fandom News!

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Two Authors, One Birthday


Happy birthday to the late author Margaret Mitchell, who was born on this day in 1900. Jake and Helen are reenacting a scene from Mitchell's novel Gone with the Wind, and I must say they look pretty darn cute together there.

While we're celebrating birthdays, we should also remember Bram Stoker, or as Sandi likes to call him, Brad. Stoker was born on this day in 1847, and his best-known work is Dracula. Just so we're clear, I'm talking about Bram Stoker's Dracula, not Sandi Griffin's Dracula.

Fanfic Update!
  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 18 - 20): "Daria stood outside the Lawndale Heights Condominiums complex, looked back whence she came, and shivered. She took a pack of cigarettes from her jacket pocket, struggled to open it, but then jammed it back into her pocket, and took out her phone." (Part 19) (Part 20)

  • A Different Look at 1111, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "It was early in the Summer between her Junior and Senior years at Lawndale High, and Stacy Rowe was visiting her best friend, Quinn Morgendorffer."

  • The Mageborn Cynic, by peetz5050 (part 35): "A few moments later a captain rode up to Jakob and saluted. 'Good afternoon your Grace. The Major asked me to intercept you and report that her Grace, the Duchess of Barksdale, has kindly offered to billet our troops in her late husband's barracks as the Duke of Barksdale's regiment is already with his majesty and she requests that you and your senior officers join her for dinner this evening.'"

  • Mine Origins, by Vukodlak (part 5): "As promised Jack arrived within an hour and a few brief introductions he asked the rest of the family vacate the kitchen while he conducted the interview."

  • Mirror, Mirror, by NightGoblyn (part 2): "'I call upon the darkest magicks,' Daria intoned, and took a deep breath of incense. 'I summon the dark, and from the dark, I summon the power to destroy. Come to me!'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "Mr. O'Neill - It means... look, just let me get through this part, okay? Then there'll be a video! Daria - (Standing up) No, it is not okay."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "So, where do I start? I'm sorry."

  • Zero (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer allowed herself a brief moment of introspection as she considered the events that led to her enjoying such a beautiful day instead of holing herself in her bedroom until noon, which had become routine for her since she started her summer break."

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Quick, Someone Hide the Hot Sauce!


Sit back and let ol' Jakey take care of cooking tonight because it's National Men Make Dinner Day! On a side note, I'm pretty sure Pizza Prince delivers. Just in case you're not in the mood for Kitchen Sink Stew.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

The Pharaoh of Self-Esteem Class


Mr. O'Neill is looking very regal for a man wearing a skirt, but that's because today is King Tut Day! It's the anniversary of the discovery of Tutankhamen's tomb in 1922, at which point the archaeologists were able to figure out whether he was buried without his diver or his liver.

Also, happy birthday to Wendy Hoopes, the actress who voiced Helen, Quinn, and Jane. She was born on this day in 1972, and I'm pretty sure she still has her liver. No clue about her diver, though.

Fanfic Update!
  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 76): "'Hello Thystun. I was wondering if you could do me a favor?' The voice belonged to Ethan Dressler."

  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 12 - 17): "He disliked being in a room that did not have any natural light other than his lab. In the lab, he was either engrossed in a task, watching a movie, or weeping on the floor. Here, without anything to attend to except as his fancy might strike him, he was extremely uncomfortable." (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17)

  • Dax and the Time Lord, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (prologue): "As she approached Quarks, Ezri heard a familiar sound that she hadn't heard since before she was joined. It was a sound as of some strained mechanism. (She supposed it was strained, given how old it was.) She turned and saw a blue box appear out of thin air near the security office."

  • Lane Lane, by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "Daria grumbled. 'Just keep in mind that in a couple of years it's going to be illegal for us to go after teenaged girls.' Daria grumbled again. 'Okay, fine, be that way. All I'm saying is the window of opportunity is closing fast, and we have to get in before it closes.'"

  • The Many Doctors - Chapter 26, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Martha heard the explosion and rounded a corner, almost running into Felicia. 'What are you doing here?' the Doctor asked. Martha held out the sonic. 'I'm returning this. I thought you might need it.'"

  • The Phantom of the Library, by neonhomer (part 5): "'Well, this book so far has caused both Aunt Quinn, my mother, and my father to act weird.' 'Define weird' 'Aunt Quinn told me that the book meant a lot to her. My mom looked like she was going to throw up, and my dad told me to never mention the name of the girl in the book to my mother again.'"

  • Quinn Bobs Her Hair, by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Half-way home she noticed Jane in further study of her bald pate. She stopped. 'What is it now, Lane? I swear if you paint a picture of this I'll....'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crack Pairing Madness), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Bobby Stuart sat in the holding cell at the police station, his head in his hands. Well, that escalated quickly, he thought to himself."

Sunday, November 2, 2014

"Cheer, cheer, cheer. Yell, yell, yell. Who cares who wins? We're all going to hell."


Daria is ready to celebrate the anniversary of cheerleaders, which were made official on this day in 1898. She's also simultaneously freaking everyone out a little bit. When did Ms. Li get her hands on mind-altering drugs, exactly?

We should also take a moment to wish Marie Antoinette a happy birthday, as the ill-fated French queen was born on this day in 1755. Even if she never really said "Let them eat cake," we still (according to Quinn's tutor David) have her to thank for our champagne glasses.

Also, if you live in an area with Daylight Savings Time, I hope you remembered to set your clocks back one hour last night and enjoyed the extra hour of sleep!

Fandom News!