Saturday, January 31, 2015

As Long As She's Not Painting Reproductions Again


Jane's celebrating Inspire Your Heart with Art Day, but really, that's every day for Jane. Except when it comes to submitting portfolios to art schools, anyway.

Fanfic Update!
  • Brittany and a Pernicious Problem, by Bill Bruford (part 1): "'James Vincent' The man in the white coat said while looking out the bay window in his office. 'You have an outstanding academic record, and two years of work in the medical field already'"

  • The Conformists' Guide To Being Goth, by breitasparrow (COMPLETE!): "All right, douche bags. Listen up. We're getting sick and tired of being lumped in with those stupid vamp kids and, worst of all, the fucking emo wannabe-conformist assholes that have been plaguing our town ever since that prank show tricked us with plants and shit."

  • Daria: College Pains The Sophomore Year, by James the Lesser (part 2): "Quinn is in the house in Lawndale alone. Her parents had moved with LJ to the house in Odenton. They left her some money for food and expected her to look after the house while a Realtor showed the house to potential buyers. Of course her first thought was to throw a party."

  • Daria/Power Rangers: Watching the Watchmen, by Charles RB (parts 14 and 15): "Here was the problem with her bombshell: there was nothing that could be done about it. She made sure to say that. 'Nothing can be done about, nothing can be done about, nothing can be done about. There an echo here?'" (Part 15)

  • НАД СНЕГОМЪ, by Shad_Tkhom (COMPLETE!): "Энтони ДиМартино почувствовал, что лежит на чём то мягком. Мягком но не холодном. Ему вообще не было холодно и то, на чём он лежал, на ощупь не походило на снег."

  • Lawndale & Sandi Griffin's Genie: Future Excerpt 2, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "As Jennifer, Sandi, Sam and Chris entered another room, they found a person there."

  • Lost in Translation and the Misuse of Punctuation (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "It was a beautiful, sunny day in the quiet suburb of Lawndale, and Ms. Daria Morgendorffer was all alone in her room."

  • Midnight in Manhattan, by Noktuo (COMPLETE!): "My second and last night with Quinn, I swear. Jane sipped hot chocolate, looking from the height of San Remo's north tower at the snow-blanketed Central Park down below."

  • Rising with the Machines... Cynically, by Kuriamo22 (part 1): "After looking around the room Daria asked to no one in particular, 'What the hell? How did I get home?'"

  • Star Trek: Emerging Enterprise, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "'So, what is happening? There are error messages saying that the Enterprise is "out of range" and there is a role player on New Australia stuck in her Holosuite without communication? And more importantly, how could this happen?' CEO Robert Findlay asked."

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Magnumdorffer, P.I.


Daria's sporting a new look in honor of Magnum, P.I. star Tom Selleck, who turns 70 years old today. As far as I know his character never investigated any murders involved high school quarterbacks being beaten to death by a golf club, but I haven't actually seen many episodes of the show. Perhaps if he did, the whole thing turned out to be a dream sequence.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Cake? Curiouser and Curiouser!


Quinn's serving up a delicious dessert for Chocolate Cake Day, but I'm skeptical that she actually baked it herself. Still, cake is cake...as long as it isn't a lie.

Also, happy birthday to the late Charles Lutwidge Dodgson, also known as Lewis Carroll, who was born on this day in 1832. I would list the Alice in Wonderland/Daria crossover fics that have been written, but there are so many that the genre has been given its own page on the Dariawiki! Check the stories out at the link.

There's still time to vote for the 2014 Daria Fanworks Awards! See the written and visual nominations and choose your favorites.

Fanfic Update!
  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 80): "The door flew open suddenly. Wehrung and Michelle both jumped as Ethan, looking somewhat emaciated, strode in and immediately went over to Wehrung's computer. 'Bastard,' he sneered."

  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 36): "Vitale interrupted the general counsel for the DPH. 'Stop right there, sport. "Situation?" That's what you're calling what's happening in Worcester?' Audio from the speakerphone was only adequate, but the contempt in Vitale's voice was plain to hear."

  • It Began with a Taste (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It began with a taste, such a simple thing really. It wasn't even anything exotic, just a piece of chocolate. But there was something about it... Something unusual..."

  • The Many Doctors, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 32b): "Soon, the Doctor and Laranna returned to the console room. 'Ah, Vincent. You're here,' the Doctor said. 'Hi, Doctor,' Vincent said. 'Mandy here, says that Amy isn't here?' 'Yes... She's found the person she lost...'"

  • May I have a Cheeseburger?, by metameric1 (part 11): "Dearest Weevil, I am speechless. Well, not really."

  • Self-Esteem Class in Room 101 (Would Mr. O'Neill...), by Scissors MacGillicutty (COMPLETE!): "'I realize how harsh and cruel the world may seem to be,' Timothy O'Neill said, addressing his self-esteem workshop. '"Seems, Mr. O'Neill? Nay, it is,' murmured Daria."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XIII - Crossovers are Magic!), by Ranma (COMPLETE!): "Scrick Scrick Scrick... 'nyan, nyaaaan' Scrick Scrick Scrick 'nyan, nyan.' 'What the hell is that' said Daria as she reached the bottom of the stairs."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XIII - Crossovers are Magic!), by Scissors MacGillicutty (COMPLETE!): "'So this has all been Ms. Li's doing . . .for how many years?' Daria seethed. 'Three years.' Jane replied. 'Three wonderful years.'"

  • Unnamed story (Would Mr. O'Neill...), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Gina Plemmons, a dark-skinned girl with a sturdy build and long brown hair wearing a football jersey walked into Principal Li's office. 'Excuse me, Ms. Li,' she said in an affirmative tone."

  • What is War good for? (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "Brittany: 'Um Mr. DeMartino?' Mr. DeMartino: 'What is it BRITTANY?' Brittany: (twirling her hair) 'I was thinking why do we need war to solve our problems with other countries?'"

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Today is NOT Opposite Day!


Daria and Quinn have switched outfits because today is Opposite Day, and everyone should not do and say the opposite of what they normally would. Also, Daria is overrated, fanfiction is for losers, and I hate chocolate.

Not only that, but on this day exactly one hundred years ago, the first transcontinental telephone call was made. This is a red-letter day for both Helen and Quinn, who would probably wither away and die without their phones.

Fandom News!

Friday, January 23, 2015

A Rare Glimpse of Bootless Feet


Daria's just checking her shoe size to make sure she's still a six and a half B because today is Measure Your Feet Day! Of course, as Quinn can tell you, if your shoes are too small you should wear them anyway if they make your legs look hot. Take that advice with as much salt as you require.

The 2014 Daria Fanworks Awards Written and Visual nominations are now posted, so go forth and vote for your favorites! Go here for more information.

Fanfic Update!
  • Damnation, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Then Daria woke up and discovered, to her vague annoyance, atheism had been wrong."

  • Daria's Dates (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "At Lawndale High, Daria and Jane are standing in the hallway; Daria is telling Jane all about her date with Ted."

  • An Old, Dirty Shame (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Sam Griffin couldn't believe his luck, he and his brother had heard the whispered conversations for years but had had nothing solid to go on. At least until one fateful day when they found a residual check in the mail and had goggled the company name and hit pay dirt."

  • Slow Flows the River, by UU (part 1): "'The Shah didn't drink Ultra Cola at all.' 'He didn't?' Having finished her shredded chicken with lemon grass soup, Amy Barksdale tucked into a plate of giant prawns with enthusiasm."

  • We Are One, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'I think....' he and Ethan turned around and looked at the dressmaker's dummy in the corner of Gage's room. It was adorned with the initial version of the bright-red formal dress he had designed for the twins. 'I think this could be the start of something beautiful.'"

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Daria Doesn't Appreciate the Pervert Ones Who Stare at Her, Though


Those rats with fluffy tails want to remind everyone that today is Squirrel Appreciation Day, and that peanut butter is always welcome as a gift. I have no doubt Jake will be appreciating the little guys with extreme prejudice.

Today is also the anniversary of the original airing of Is It College Yet? in 2002, which also marked the end of the Daria series as a whole. "It's like the end of an era!"

Fandom News!

Monday, January 19, 2015

"Nothing says 'be mine' like a pounding heart beneath a floorboard."


Daria's enjoying a nice romance novel by Edgar Allan Poe, who was born on this day in 1809. One of Poe's other well-known works, "The Raven," has been referenced in Daria fanfic at least twice: The Cynic by Steve Mitchell and A Raven, Nothing More by Lew Richardson.

Fanfic Update!
  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 79): "'These mixers always suck,' Vivian Deblasio moaned to her assigned partner, Hero Dressler, who felt very much like moaning herself."

  • ASPS 3, by PrecambrianStudios (part 4): "She pulled up a chair next to him and sat down in it, and stared hard at her brother's face. 'I know you're faking it,' she said. Ethan remained limp."

  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 35): "Although none of his family appeared to be at home when he arrived there in the early afternoon, Bunk Moreland took all the care he usually would to creep into his house when everyone was there and asleep in the middle of the night."

  • The Many Doctors, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 32): "As soon as the the older Doctor and his companions (including Tamsin) had left the TARDIS, he set it in motion, leaving the Heights of Oranui behind. He turned to Laranna. 'I guess we should search for Felicia too. What do you think?'"

  • The Snoozeroom (World's Shortest Crossover XIII - Crossovers are Magic!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "In the front row, a girl in a field jacket raised her hand. 'Yes?' 'Hi. I have a question: are you from an alternate timeline?'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Start In The Middle of an Action Sequence), by Scissors MacGillicutty (COMPLETE!): "Even as the manager of the Good Times Chinese Restaurant was yelling at Chris, a BTR-80A personnel carrier came roaring down Payson, but before it came to a halt, Snoop stood before it, drew her Glock 41, and fired two rounds at it."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "It was one of those scenes that required a world to be tinged with just a little extra insanity, one of those spots the Gods of Chaos had said 'meh' and dumped a little of their excess power on their way into work in the various Warhammer universes one day."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XIII - Crossovers are Magic!), by Milo (COMPLETE!): "A flying car enters the Morgandorfer garage. At the same time, a newspaper boy throws the Lawndale Herald to the front door. Its headline reads 'Mutant Plague Averted'."

Saturday, January 17, 2015

But What Will the Electricity Do to His Eye?


Mr. DeMartino is apparently trying out a new career path in scientific experimentation in honor of Benjamin Franklin, who was born on this day in 1706. I'm not sure he's getting any better job satisfaction than he did as a teacher. Then again, it probably isn't a whole lot worse, either.

Fandom News!

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Cuchi Cuchi!


Helen is dressing a little differently for work in order to better emulate Charo, the singer who was born on this day in 1951. I'm sure Eric will be appreciative of the outfit, although I'm not sure how much the singing will help her win that big lawsuit. It probably doesn't matter, though--she won't get through the first verse before her cell phone interrupts the concert.

Today is your last chance to send in your nominations for the 2014 Daria Fanworks Awards. You've got until 11:59 PM (23:59) UTC, so don't wait any longer!

Fanfic Update!
  • ПОД СНЕГОМ, by Shad_Tkhom (COMPLETE!): "они брели согнувшись под ледяным, хлещущим снегом по лицу, ветром."

  • Virginian Sisters: Horse Riding, by Szcz (part 1): "Quinn Morgendorffer walked through the cold streets of New York. Somewhere in Greenwich Village, she found a small café and entered. Seated at a corner table, Tom Sloane said, 'Hello,' and asked, 'Coffee?'"

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

"Just close your eyes and imagine what you want."


Daria appears to be celebrating Make Your Dream Come True Day by fantasizing about Trent with a graying mullet. Never knew she was into that kind of thing, but there ya go. So, what's a dream that you'd like to see come true? Bonus points if it involves making family members suffer.

Fandom News!

Sunday, January 11, 2015

The Flighty Quinn


Quinn is prepped and ready to follow in aviation pioneer Amelia Earhart's footsteps by flying solo from Honolulu, Hawaii to Oakland, California. Earhart became the first person to successfully complete that flight on this day in 1935, so Quinn is (gasp!) years behind the fashions on this one.

Fanfic Update!
  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 33 and 34): "Jesse had been wondering through the condo complex calling the gardener's name for more than a half hour. He had never explored it before this morning." (Part 34)

  • A Boring Summer, by ST91 (part 5): "Dario had just put down the phone when he suffered an assault by his father. 'Ahahahah, well done son!' said Jake giving Dario a vigorous series of pats on the back. 'Ouch! Dad, stop!'"

  • DW: Doctor & Sarah 01: Deadly Assassin, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Shortly after the TARDIS appeared in the museum the Doctor emerged. 'What a way to travel. But which way the Panopticon?' It had been a long time since the Doctor had left Gallifrey..."

  • Sailor Jupiter Buries the Past (Tales of the Shadow Senshi), by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "Makoto spun in place and smashed the side of her foot into Sailor Venus's face. Minako staggered back across the room, caught her balance before she fell, reached down to the sheath strapped to her thigh and pulled the long serrated knife from it."

  • To me, To you, by Bill Bruford (COMPLETE!): "Quinn walked by the same shop everyday and she always wondered what did it sale and why. It was a run down old place with a cracked window with no display, what could be sold here and why."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Start In The Middle of an Action Sequence), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Glass shattered. Sandi Griffin of the House Griffin spun, cocking the hammer on the pistol in her hand. It was a weighty thing, and it was questionable if the bullets of a pistol could even hurt the intruder. Thunder roared, and Sandi jumped again, squeezing the trigger."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Anthony, I know that you're having a hard time accepting that Janet and I are getting married, but-' 'Shut - up.'"

Friday, January 9, 2015

Thou SHALT Not....


Mr. DeMartino seems to be full of godlike rage today, but luckily for Kevin it's only Play God Day--he doesn't really have any supernatural powers. Unless you count keeping his eye in its socket all this time as a supernatural power.

Jane, meanwhile, will be taking the opportunity to "make them crawl, I tell you. Crawl!" Then again, she probably does that pretty much every day.

Fandom News!

Thursday, January 8, 2015

Time to Nominate!



Just a quick reminder to send in nominations for the 2014 Daria Fanwords Awards. The deadline is January 15th!

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

He's Cruising the Information Superhighway!


Jake's thrilled because he just found out that today is International Programmers' Day. Of course, Jake is the furthest thing from a computer programmer you can get without including inanimate objects, but we'll let him enjoy his moment anyway.

Fanfic Update!
  • A Boring Summer, by ST91 (part 4): "That morning Dario was lying on the living room couch in a sort of semi-coma due to the heat. From the open windows not a breath of air came inside and the old fan was of no help too. This heat wave will be the death of me. If only I could find a documentary on Antarctica maybe I could survive until tonight."

  • Fall (Iron Chef: Start In The Middle of an Action Sequence), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "CRACK! Stacy had never heard the sound of someone's nose breaking in real life. Stacy was also positive that she'd never punched someone before."

  • Family Ties (Iron Chef - Characters haunted by their embarrassing pasts), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "'Hey Ant, you in the mood for a trip down memory lane?' Vinny DeMartino asked while waving an old sepia-toned photo. His younger cousin sighed as he packed another musty box, 'Not REALLY but I have the FEELING that you're going to DRAG me on one ANYWAY.'"

  • Fly (Iron Chef: Start In The Middle of an Action Sequence), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Quinn's eyes widened in slowly mounting horror, head tilted upward so that she was unintentionally looking down her nose at the apparition some twenty feet away."

  • In the midst of her nightly routine (Something Special), by Bill Bruford (COMPLETE!): "As the news ended and infomercials began, Stacy sat on the edge of her bed, brushing her hair."

  • In Vegas Without Any Logic or Reason, by DIsaac (parts 1 - 3): "Daria woke up, Mouth dry, hungover. She decided that celebrating her freedom from Raft in Vegas was in order." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Pages From a Notebook, by Strumwulf (part 13): "Daria woke to her alarm going off, and took stock of her situation."

  • Sisters and Friends, by metameric1 (part 24): "After a long moment, she sat back up and looked at him. 'Do I manipulate you?' He laughed. 'Like a ball of silly putty.' 'Please don't let me do that.'"

  • The Uniqe, by EntrancedCat (part 1): "Daria stumbled on the jagged reddish-brown scoria, thankful for her heavy black boots. For lengths of several hundred yards the trail had occasionally narrowed with sharp rocks in ankle-high chunks and sheets scraping against her black jeans and boots on both sides."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Start In The Middle of an Action Sequence), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Crunch. Chomp. Chomp. Chomp. Chew. That's important."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Start In The Middle of an Action Sequence), by TheTuxedo (COMPLETE!): "The sand underneath Trent's head was softer than any pillow. He half opened his eyes and saw the brilliant blue of the sky, dotted with fluffy white clouds. He grinned at his luck, waking up to a sky like this."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by GDTSP9 (COMPLETE!): "Kevin groggily opened his eyes, seeing a blurry, blue sky. After a few seconds, it wasn't so blurry. He felt like he had been tackled by an entire team of football players, five times in the last five minutes. As he slowly got to his feet, he realised he was covered in molasses."

Monday, January 5, 2015

Tweet, Tweet!


Helen has prepared a nice holiday dinner for Jake in honor of National Bird Day, and I suppose it's not actually that much worse than Jake's usual cooking. I just hope Quinn doesn't send any more canaries to their doom at the pet store.

Fandom News!

Saturday, January 3, 2015

Let's Hope the Rash Doesn't Come Back


Today is Humiliation Day, and judging by the way Daria's blushing I suspect she's participating. That, or Trent just walked by without a shirt on. Although that second one isn't as likely because today also happens to be Festival of Sleep Day and I seriously doubt Trent's going to pass that opportunity up.

Additionally, J.R.R. Tolkien was born on this day in 1892, and I know we've got quite a few Lord of the Rings fans out there. To celebrate, I got you a very lumpy candle that may or may not be a hobbit.

Remember to nominate for the 2014 Daria Fanworks Awards!

Fanfic Update!
  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 78): "Hero Dressler sat on the roof of Warville, clutching at the scarf as she waited. Her overcoat did not help to keep out the biting chill of winter, and every so often a gust of icy wind would blow strands of her hair into her face, and frost would begin to accumulate on her glasses. She checked her watch again. Twenty minutes to midnight."

  • Black Cloaks of Lawndale, by Waylander (COMPLETE!): "Since the day Aunt Amy decided that her student's 'magical muscles' need proper rest, Daria was bored out of her mind. The proven methods of dealing with boredom weren't working."

  • A Boring Summer, by ST91 (parts 2 and 3): "'So it's for this reason that in the past women couldn't have roles in plays.' said Dario to Brittany as they left the movie theater." (Part 3)

  • Calendar Boy (Iron Chef - Characters haunted by their embarrassing pasts), by Snow-Kitty (parts 1 and 2): "Daria looked up to see her friend Jane standing point blank beside her locker. 'Um... are you okay Jane?' she said with trepidation, confused by the underlying bewilderment in her friend's eyes." (Part 2)

  • Daria Joins The Sweet Cake Girls, by peapotmaster (part 1): "Daria sat down on her computer to watch the latest web episode of her favorite show, Sick, Sad World."

  • Forced Impression, by Indigo (part 5): "Quinn waited until the boys had driven away before indulging in her new pastime of gently teasing her sister about boys. 'Well I think one date with Joey will do for now. So Daria, you did it, movie, burger and backseat with a boy. Did you like the kissing?'"

  • A Little Exercise (Iron Chef: Start In The Middle of an Action Sequence), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Daria gasped as she counted the oncoming, gore-caked beasts, blood-flecked foam and pus flying from their mouths like pinkish-white steam trails: Ten... fourteen... twenty... twenty-three... Jesus, who let all the dogs out?"

  • Mine Origins, by Vukodlak (part 7): "After her morning shower Daria stared in the mirror and debating on going back to bed or getting dressed and heading downstairs. On one had she was really hungry on the other hand it was her birthday and she worried what her family was going to do to try and lift her spirits."

  • Outclassed, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): " Sandi crossed her arms. 'This isn't about escaping the class anymore. This is about taking down Mr. O'Neill. Not just as revenge, but as a public service to the school. If we're successful, no one--or at least not as many people--will care about us being put in the class in the first place. We'll be the people who defeated the worst teacher Lawndale High has ever had.'"

  • Padding after dark (Something Special), by Bill Bruford (COMPLETE!): "Drip... Drip... Drip... 'Sam you idiot, why can't you turn off the sink.' Sandi said, eyes wide open taking in the moonlight."

  • Quinn's Code 11: The Geek Hunter, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "'Right, we have Sandi and Tori to deal with,' Quinn said. 'Go ahead!' Stacy said. 'Are you sure?' Quinn asked. 'Yes!'"

  • Unnamed story ('Iron Chef' for Robyn & all comers - 'The First Ten Minutes'), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "'Gotta get away from the bears! Gotta get away from the bears!' The words spilled out with each pant as Daria raced across the featureless plain. Sneaking a look behind her, she saw that the bears were still gaining, the massive brown in the lead roaring ferociously."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'You know, Daria - this really isn't that bad.' 'Of course you'd think that - now, you have a reason to be lazy all day!'"

Thursday, January 1, 2015

So Long, 2014!


You'll have to excuse Daria right now. She's still exhausted from staying up late and partying for New Year's Eve. On her behalf, I'll wish everyone a happy new year! I hope 2015 is a great year for you all, and I also hope that you kept your New Year's resolutions realistic.

For those of you out there who are not hungover, here are a few New Year's-themed fanfics to enjoy:

Fandom News!