And She Even Got the Seven-Letter Bonus!

Happy Scrabble Day! Daria probably lost any enthusiasm she might have had for the game during her marathon board game sessions while she was grounded. Don't let that stop you from settling in for a game yourself, though. Go for the triple word score!

Today is also the 268th anniversary of the birth of Thomas Jefferson. Jefferson is known for writing the Declaration of Independence, for being the third president of the United States, and for maybe-but-not-really speaking these immortal words of wisdom:

Quinn: Well, everybody knows that late curfews should go to people who can use them: attractive and popular people with lots of friends.

Daria: Wow! Who said that? Thomas Jefferson? Or was it Barbie?

Jake: It can't be Jefferson....

Quinn: Of course not. No pin-headed historical person could ever make that much sense.

Jake: Really.

Incidentally, both the Scrabble game and the Jefferson bit came from the episode "The Big House." Coincidence? Probably.

Fandom News!

• RLobinske started a thread about the Civil War.


• More news about the live-action Beavis and Butt-head movie. Including whom they've cast as Daria.


• MartinUK and Derek have posted pictures from their trips to Jodrell Bank and Florida, respectively.


• Can you pass Harvard's entrance exam...from 1869? I don't know about you, but I think my application might be a bit late.


• Did Jamie, Jeffy, and Joey have driver's licenses as freshman? Post your thoughts in the thread.


• A new thread in the Creative Writing forum discusses race and gender issues in Daria fanfiction.


• Lord Yellowtail has praise and a question about legendeld's Esteem Roller.


• Two new Iron Chefs in Creative Writing: Roentgen's Daria Inspired by Different Movies and LSauchelli's Daria leaves the Show.

A Barbershop Quartet Minus One

Today is Barbershop Quartet Day, and the three Js are doing their best to honor it even if they happen to be one member short. I wonder who would be the most likely candidate to join them--Ted? Robert? Upchuck? Hmm. "Feisty!" "Feisty!" "Feisty!" "Feisty!" "Feeeeiiiisty!"

Nah.

New Fanfic!

• A Capella (Iron Chef: Womanly Talks), by Ray (COMPLETE!): "Jane hesitantly took the money and stuck it in her jeans pocket. 'Alrighty, so you two have swapped rooms, without apparent bloodshed, thereby certainly triggering the apocalypse and the end of all civilization. Do I have until at least midnight, because there are some final paintings I’d really like to do in my last hours on Earth.'"


• Daria/Dorian Ch. 14: Hair Dye On The Highway, by LadieT (part 5): "Dorian had just finished putting the second plug in his ear when a splash followed by Trent's scream echoed through the house. Then the sounds of footsteps running towards the room. Jane dashed into the room, slammed the door, and leaned against it. Dorian winced at the pounding noise on the other side."


• Genesis, by VPrad: "'There’s something else. You said we would find some kind of confrontation inside there. That puts us in a very delicate situation,' He answered. 'If we want to go deep enough to achieve inception, we have to use powerful sedatives. The problem is that, they’re going to be too powerful.' 'What do you mean, too powerful?' Quinn asked. 'I mean that if we get killed inside that dream...' he paused, '...we won’t wake up in the real world, we’ll drop into limbo.'"


• The Girl In Question, by Silver (part 5): "Quinn Morgendorffer was getting sick and tired of walking. It had been four hours. She hadn't seen the girl, or more shadow monsters, or anyone else. And she was getting tired of it. 'GOD! Where is everyone!' It was more a shouted statement than exasperated question. It was answered by the sound of running footsteps. A dozen soldiers rounded the bend, rifles raised."


• God Save The Esteem ep 26: Quaran-Tommed, by Charles RB (parts 1 and 2): "Kay Sloane was on the phone. 'I’ll just ask him now-' she said, then turned to Tom. 'Tom, would Daria like to join us at the Cove?' Hell no, thought Tom, but he couldn’t say that to his mother so he said 'I’ll ask her' instead. He was in two minds about it, really. On the one hand, if Daria was at the Cove then he’d have someone he wanted to talk to there. On the other, it’d involve exposing Daria to his extended family and taking her to the world’s dullest summer retreat, and he wanted her to remain his girlfriend. Whichever option won, they’d both lose." (Part 2)


• Hobbitdale (Iron Chef: Tall Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn got out of the car, ensuring that her long red hair was swept back enough so that her pointed ears, which showed her Half-Elven heritage, were not hidden. Immediately she noticed that the majority of the students were Hobbits, though she could see the odd Human, Dwarf or even Orc here and there."


• The James Lane Chronicles Chapter 6, by InvisibleDan (part 1): "'So, Daria...' 'So, mother...' 'What were you and James really doing in your room... alone?' In her usual deadpan Daria said, 'We were studying the Unabomber's manifesto for ideas on how to blow up the school.'"


• Life of Love (Long Story Challenge 3, Round 1), by Hyrin: "'No, I was actually going to invite you to join me, if you’d like.' He stared at her for a second. She had a broad smile and a face full of freckles. Her auburn hair was pulled up in a tight bun. In that one moment, Marcus became smitten. 'I’m Marcus. Marcus Morgendorffer,' he said as he sat opposite her. 'Ruth O’Reilly. It’s nice to meet you.'" (Part 1b)


• LLH Alternate Future - 08 - Get Real, by psychotol (part 4): "Jane looked bemused. 'A bronze bull. ... Brittany, did we sign a deal with Red Bull?' 'Ummmmm, I don’t think so,' said Brittany. 'Could be a customer of the year award for Julia,' said Tom. 'Yawn,' said Julia, well pissed off about the constant stream of Red Bull jokes based on it’s tag line. Daria used her flight ring to lift herself up and confirmed the location of a door on it’s back, there was a hasp with a padlock and a key. She had noticed some oxidation on it’s belly. She landed. 'This probably came from a friend of Boliver Trask, an attempt to set me off.'"


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 7: Teenage Experimentation, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'Quinn? You really should get up,' he said, shaking her gently. As he did, he heard her diary fall to the floor. As he picked it up, he saw several small white pills fall out of it. He felt his heart sink as he shook Quinn again, whispering, 'Quinn? Wake up. Please, baby, wake up.'"


• Monster, by VPrad (part 1): "Do you know those stories with a big happy ending? You know, the ones in which the main character overcomes all the difficulties that appear along the way with the help of those around him. And in the end everybody learns a valuable lesson about life and ends up a bit happier than before. Well, this is not one of those. In about half an hour I will be dead."


• My Best Friend, by Smijey (parts 2 - 4): "'You know,' I said off-handedly. 'If we go to that party, we won't have to stay at home.' I could see the war waging itself across Jane's face, as her lip trembled and her eyes darted around for an escape. Finally, she nodded, a very short gesture I would have missed had I blinked. 'Okay then. It's party time.'" (Part 3) (Part 4)


• My Night At Jane’s, by ash_blackfire (COMPLETE!): "Daria was walking up and down the rows of Drugs’N Stuff with a hand full of snacks and sodas. First time in months for a bad movie night with Jane. Wanting to forget and start a new from Tom and get back to normal. As Daria walked to Jane’s she wanted to ask Jane some questions about Tom and have him out of both there lives."


• One Door Open, One Door Closed (LLH 'Mini'), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "“No – how the President’s trying to get back his ‘legacy’,” the blonde chirped. “About twenty minutes ago, he signed an Executive Order that gets rid of ‘Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell’ for good.' Danielle blinked hard. 'He what?'"


• A Powerful Force, by DIsaac (prologue): "My name is Daria Morgendorffer and I'm a writer.....Well that the name and occupation the rest of the world knows me for. Actually the name is Melody Powers and I work for The CIA. You can just call me Mel."


• Quinn's Code - 02: Invite of the Geek, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "'Hey, Burnout Girl, how did you, like, get in. I know that Britt didn't invite you,' Kevin was about to say more, but was interuppted by Jennifer. 'Kevin. How many times have I told you that I hate that name!' She exclaimed. 'Aahh!' Kevin ran off, Jennifer being angry wasn't pretty."


• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 45): "Daria took off her glasses again and reset the focus. Most of the cheerleaders were female, but there were a few guys there too. There was one guy, wearing a blue and white sweater and white woolen slacks. He held a megaphone and lead the Bromwell supporters with chants of 'Go Bromwell!' and 'Crestmore Stinks!' He looked sort of familiar. Then he turned around. 'Oh. My. God.' Jane bit into her donut. 'All I can say, is I'm glad I'm not dating him anymore.'"


• Remembrance, by HolyGrail2007 (parts 5 and 6): "While Jamie White didn’t feel like working tonight, that bar he had put food on the table and clothes on his family’s back. While his wife, Rachel, was infinitely supportive and told him he should take the time off if he needed to, he would rather have worked anyway. Concentrating on something, anything, would make the pain go away for a while." (Part 6)


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "I'm not alone in here. The phone vibrates just enough to let me know they're a good bit off, and the scratching noises let me know there's more than one of them. Every once in a while I can hear the sound of metal tapping on metal, but it's not quite the same sound as the runners would make. No, this is something new." (New part) (Newer part)


• Searching For a New Hope, by thatLONERchick: "Daria didn't even bother telling Helen about the debacle at the bridal shop. After school the next day, she and Jane retired to Casa Lane with the sorry excuse for a dress, which Jane insisted upon inflicting on Daria a second time. She stood in the center of Jane's room while the taller girl inserted pins and took measurements, all the time snapping pictures and muttering about how 'hot' Daria would look when it was done. 'Trust me on this, amiga,' Jane muttered around a mouthful of pins. 'No one's even going to think about your cousin once you step out there.'"


• Season to Season (Write-off Challenge 9, Round 3), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'The divorce has been final for the last two months.' He swirled his drink moodily. 'Guess I forgot to tell you.' Alison winced at the news, gestured to Li to set out a bowl of pretzels and took another sip of her drink. 'I'm sorry, Wind.' He shrugged, despondent. 'You're still wearing your ring.' He raised his hand, dull surprise lighting his eyes when he realized she was right. 'Oh. Habit, I guess.' Frowning, he pulled the wedding band from his finger and dropped it into Li's tip jar."


• Sick, Sad North, by Temppeli (part 1): "They arrived at the school yard. Between the parking lot and the front door lied a cosy little lawn yard, splitted by the pavement. School itself was huge, three-storey concrete building straight from the 60's, and gave a clear sign that it was a public building. Low pitched roof, steady lines of windows and huge signboard on the bare end wall revealed the name of the school: 'ALANUMMEN LUKIO'"


• Something Like Regret, by thatLONERchick: "It was spring in Lawndale, mid-May and fair as a new pearl. Sun shone down on manicured lawns, winked cheerfully at pedestrians and smiled benevolently down on the world. Those fortunate enough to be out and about on this day relished the feel of warmth while Daria Morgendorffer watched from her fourth floor window, pallid face untouched by either sun or emotion." (Part 2)


• Sometimes I Call Just To Hear Your Voice, by ninetwelve (COMPLETE!): "She pressed 'Send' on her cellphone again. The digital ring sounded out , an electronic mimicry of long since defunct technology. She watched the smoke billow past her window, twenty stories above the sidewalks of New York. After three rings she heard the familiar sterile voice. 'Hello. You've reached Daria Morgendorffer. Please leave a message.'"


• Tridecadal, by RLobinske (part 2): "Seated in a comfortable chair in her aunt's office at Tennyson University, Daria said, 'I know I haven't been stuck in adjunct hell as long as you were, but it's still frustrating. I feel like our lives are on permanent hold.' Amy Barksdale said, 'Don't worry, you're preaching to the choir. I keep arguing in the faculty senate for more tenure track positions and less reliance on adjuncts, but the bean counters over at admin keep winning out. Have you looked much outside of academia?'"


• Two Girls, a Guy and a Pizza Place, by TheExcellentS (part 1): "Daria tried the door handle, but to no avail. Locked. She looked up to find that the door sign read 'CLOSED'. Daria scratched her head. 'I should have read that first.' 'That's strange,' said an equally perplexed Jane, 'Pizza King is never closed on a Friday afternoon. Or any time really.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Jane's Trashfreak out), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Then, the thought that she had been trying to stay keep out of her mind rushed in like an opposing team's linebacker going after Kevin. What if Daria is pregnant? Maybe that's why Daria was so insistant on having me stay this over this weekend. Daria would have told me if she and Tom 'did the deed'. I know it would have been awkward for both of us, but she would have, right? Better get back inside before Mrs. M suspects something."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "Seven a.m., waking up in the morning / Gotta be fresh, gotta go downstairs / See Mom and Dad fighting again / Mom’s calling dad a dead-beat drunk / Dad’s saying Mom’s a stupid Whore."


• Whatever It Is, by GingerLove84 (parts 5 - 8): "(Trent’s room. Trent walks in and looks disappointed to find the room empty. A CD case on the bed catches his eye and he picks it up.) TRENT: Adele? (He notices a piece of paper taped to the back of the case. It simply reads “Track 10” Shrugging, he tosses it into his stereo and finds the desired track.)" (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8)


• What is the Worst That Could Happen... (Iron Chef: Murphy's Law), by ash_blackfire (COMPLETE!): "'Sorry kidd-o ... what happened to you!?' Jake asked puzzled at her glasses. 'I have realized I am a reincarnation of Davy Jones and must go find my treasure' said Daria. 'School first, then treasure young lady.' Hellen chimed in putting in her earrings."


• Winter Interludes, by Chris Tucker: "'Philistines! Alright, here it is, the project that got yours truly an A+ from a very stingy grader of a teacher.' With a grand flourish, she swept the cloth from the large painting. Daria snapped the picture the instant Connie realized that the painting was of her."

Fore!

Happy Golfer's Day! Jake will probably celebrate with enthusiasm at Windsor Hills, taking on that legendary thirteenth hole. Jodie will celebrate with much less enthusiasm, thanks to her parent-mandated golf lessons.

Hey, I wonder what would happen if Jake and Jodie were to meet while playing golf. Would Jake's love for the game rub off on Jodie? Would Jodie give Jake tips to turn his consulting business around? Would they bond over their frustration with their respective parents? There's actually a lot of potential there.

You all can mull that over while I post the latest fandom news:

• Outpost Daria has been updated! Woo hoo!


• Glenn Eichler was featured on the "Colbert Report." Check the thread for the link.


• Charles RB started a thread about Russian cosmonauts for those who are interested.


• What would Daria be like if it took place anywhere except the U.S.?


• Lord Yellowtail has two questions about Mystik Spiral and Angela Li.


• A bunch of new Iron Chefs in the Creative Writing forum: Wassersauefer's Fashion Club?, DIsaac's Murphy's Law, Charles RB's Womanly Talks, Vukodlak's Tom Morgendorffer, and malakite's Rejected from Raft.

Another Guest Caption Contest!

Arena del Sur, who provided the previous caption contest picture, also supplied this one:

You know the drill--captions in the comments. Have fun!

Gimme an "H"! Gimme an "E"! Gimme...Um....

Today is World Health Day, and Brittany is here to help you celebrate with a full medical checkup. Never mind what she's planning to do with that scalpel, okay?

New Fanfic!

• Daria Meets Mr. T, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Mr. T sat at the table the Mall of the Millennium had set up for him, signing autographs with a bored expression on his face. He heard a commotion from farther back in the line, but paid it no heed until a wild-eyed teenager with auburn hair and round, thick glasses shoved her way through to the front of the line. 'Oh my God it's Mr. T I never thought I'd actually get to meet you,' she gushed out, flagrantly disregarding punctuation."


• Don't Look Back (Long Story Challenge #2), by thatLONERchick (part 2): "A pair of bright white headlights cut through the darkness, and Penny turned her head to see they were bearing down on her. It took a long moment to realize she was standing in a road, and the headlights pertained to a car that was moments away from running her over. There was a spray of water and a squealing of tires. Penny found herself on her back, cold rain driving into her face. A moment later, the pain set in."


• Erinnerung (Iron Chef: Turning 30), by Ranchoth (COMPLETE!): "Actually, you could say the operation had gone very well. Very very well. Wildly out of control well. Well enough to set up opportunities for exploitation of an anarchic post-bellum environment in the subcontinental region...yes, that was what she'd probably call it. At her court martial. If there were enough bosses left to call one."


• Eternal Return and Other Theories, by Stripey (part 2): "Jake and Helen turned to face the doorway and yelled 'Quinn' in perfect synchronization. Daria was certain she would have found it amusing on a less stressful day. Her sister obligingly walked into the room and let their parents coo over her and the baby. Jake was preoccupied making faces and funny noises at Davy while Helen shot off rapid-fire questions. Daria was left standing awkwardly in the doorway, completely unacknowledged. "


• High, High My Darling (Iron Chef: Tall Daria), by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked at the height of the car and wondered how well she would fit inside. She sighed again and said, 'Oh well. Anything for Jane.' She opened the door and lowered her head so she could get in. It was a tight fit and when she sat up her head bumped against the torn headliner of the ceiling. She just could not get comfortable in Tom's car no matter how she sat."


• LLH Alternate Future - 08 - Get Real, by psychotol (part 3): "'Quinn, Jodie, I'd concur, he's slick, but I'm not convinced he'd have waited this long if he really wanted to do this, he'd also get fired if he got caught. Correction, fired AT.' 'Well, we could suggest an investigation and see if he appears in any obituaries,' replied Quinn. 'Yeah, but I think we need to consider additional suspects,' said Jodie. 'Like who?' asked Quinn. 'Good question,' said Jodie."


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 7: Teenage Experimentation, by Hyrin (parts 4 and 5): "Kevin felt consciousness return once again, and could make out voices around him this time, even if the words still meant nothing. He could feel something in each of his hands. Soft, holding tightly. He tried to squeeze whatever they were, but all he could do was wiggle his fingers slightly. Exhausted by the effort, he drifted back to sleep." (Part 5)


• My Best Friend, by Smijey (part 1): "My first indication that something was really, really wrong was that afternoon, at her house. We were quickly bonding over a shared love of Sick, Sad World and pizza when her brother came into the room. She had her back turned to the door, so didn't see him come in. 'Hey, Janey,' he said, grabbing her shoulders and proceeding to give her an impromptu massage. 'Who's your new friend?'"


• Promises, by LadieT (part 14): "Jane set up a canvas for herself and Cleo. Jake joined them, leaving Daria alone in the kitchen with Helen. As they sat across from each other, Helen could see all the doubt, fear, and pain in her eldest daughter's eyes. Daria was zoned out, when Helen began to speak, until two words snapped Daria back into the moment."


• Remembrance, by HolyGrail2007 (part 4): "Kim seemed to ignore what Diane was saying, and focused more on the footprints. She spread herself out to try and follow the prints. She found herself being led to the man's footprints already catalogued, which lead them to the tree Stacy had been lying underneath. 'Are these related? Two killers, a man with size at least 11 shoes and a woman in heels and possibly lacking the common sense not to wear them to the woods?' Diane asked."


• Rude Awakening Episode 2: "I'm The Boss!", by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "JANE: Are you still thinking Dani is up to something? STACY: I know her. When she says she's up to something; then she's up to something. DANI: Stacy, I talked to you already I am doing NOTHING! STACY: See Daria, Jane, She's up to something." (Part 5)


• Tridecadal, by RLobinske (part 1): "Seated on the sofa in their Virginia apartment, Michael Fulton watched is wife, Daria Morgendorffer, place a plate of sushi-grade tuna on the floor in front of a black cat with a white nose and forepaws. He said, 'I'm glad you didn't ask me to wear that costume again.' Ignoring her husband for the moment, Daria said, 'Happy tenth adoption day, Bump.'"


• Trust Us, We're Professionals (Iron Chef: Fashion Club?), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "My name is Quinn Morgendorffer and I'm a killer. Nine out of ten people think that I jest when I tell them that, but what should I do? Lie to them? No, I don't like to lie to people outside of Job assignments, so I tell them. The tenth person by the way becomes angry and wants to hit me or something."


• Two Girls, One Financial Institution, by Smijey (part 1): "'Really?' Jodie's eyebrows went up in surprise. 'That's great news, Daria! As a matter of fact, I'm getting into the banking business myself...You're looking at the owner of the new Lawndale Credit Union!' Her smile was almost bright enough to read a book at the dead of night."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Fashion Club?), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Listen,' Sandi said, 'do you play basketball?' Quinn thought about it. 'What, you mean that sport with the five sweaty guys and the little orange ball?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Jane's Trashfreak out), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'Jane, Tom and I never did anything, remember?' 'What about you and Nathan?' Jane asked with a smirk. 'Me and..? I swear, you steal one boyfriend and they never let you live it down,' Daria muttered."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tall Daria), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "The Self-Defence Force was being overrun by the Gyaos, and it was clear nothing could save Tokyo."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tall Daria), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Daria returned home from school, stooping as she walked up stairs. Her normal slouch allowed her plenty of clearance with the ceiling, but it was reflexive to duck in confined spaces. She dropped her bag on her bed and went back downstairs, watching her footing carefully so her size 15 boots wouldn't slip and send her falling down the stairs again. Once outside, she remained slouched over as she walked towards Jane's house. She had met the girl in Self Esteem Class, attendence in which was her punishment for not joining the girl's basketball team."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tall Daria), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Ah, time for a little maxin' and relaxin'!' Kevin told himself as he leaned back against the lockers. It momentarily flitted through his mind that he might should worry about the fact that he was probably in somebody's way, but the thought was quickly chased off by mental images of puppies doing adorable things."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tall Daria), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Just don't be surprised if it takes the other kids a little while to warm . . . up . . . to . . . you?' Jake trailed off as he looked out at the students milling around in front of the school. Quinn stared out the window with her mouth hanging open in unabashed shock, while Daria merely uttered a low 'huh' of mild surprise."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tall Daria), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "As Daria and Jane watched, horrified, several men and women in unmarked black clothing and masks came pouring through, quickly securing the area and tagging teenagers with stun darts. 'What the hell are they doing?!' Jane asked, stunned. 'They shouldn't be out in the open like this! What-'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Where the Rubber Meets the Road...), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "'Link, please---we can talk about this, okay?' Mr. O'Neill called, panic ruining his attempt to sound soothing. 'Whatever problems you have, we can just discuss it calmly and---' 'I don't want to talk with you about anything!' Link snapped, leaning down lower over the edge and glaring down at him. 'I'd rather jump than talk about anything with you, you---wh-whoa!'"


• Whatever It Is, by GingerLove84 (parts 2 - 4): "DARIA: You should really learn to knock. TRENT (shrugging): Knocking's not really a big thing here. DARIA: What if you had walked in while I was changing? TRENT (grinning broadly): Then you'd have murdered the happiest man on Earth." (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Worldburner: Generic Strikes!, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Which, obviously, hasn't had much effect on Lawndale or any related persons thereof. There's a third Morgendorffer sister, Jane is a boy, Tiffany is also a boy, and Kevin has actually read a book, but none of these changes have anything to do with the other one. Anyway, all this became academic when Judith struck, launching her attack with the systematic destruction of famous and iconic monuments."


• Worldburner: The Long Good Sandi II, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "The yellow light shone throughout creation and everyone stopped speaking, talking slack-jawed and stunned. Reality split open in an obscene impossibility as two men in yellow robes appeared from a crack in space. Daria continued to chew on the roll, looking at the others in the room. 'Your world – your reality – is forfeit.'" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

"...There's no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza."

Hey, everyone! It's National Deep Dish Pizza Day! Enjoy a slice at Pizza Prince, where they throw in an extra quart of grease for free, or try some at Pizza Forest, where giant woodland creatures will serenade you while you eat until you yell at them to go away.

Fandom News!

• Charles RB started a thread about the commemoration of the start of the Falklands War, and similar commemorations are also being discussed.


• Brother Grimace has found a website that would send the Fashion Club into cardiac arrest!


• There are two new Iron Chefs in the Creative Writing forum: rglovejoy's Tall Daria and Vukodlak's Jane's Trashfreak out.

Flaaaaaaaaag?

On this day in 1818, the current-ish design for the American flag (13 stripes for the 13 original colonies and one star for each state) was approved by Congress. At the time there were 20 stars for 20 states, but apparently there have been a couple more added since then.

Someone should probably help Tiffany with the one she's working on, though. Never mind getting the number of stars and stripes right; we'll be lucky if she doesn't decide to redo the whole thing in something more fashionable, like pastel colors or pictures of Hello Kitty or something.

While somebody explains to Tiffany why that flag doesn't make her look fat, I'm going to post the latest fanfic update.

• Awakening, by Chris Tucker (part 8): "If there was one rule for Pizza and Bad Movie Night at Jane's dorm room, it was that serious personal matters were not discussed once the movie started. It was snark, sarcasm and popcorn tossed at the screen. Tonight's film, 'The Creeping Terror'. A film none of the girls had ever seen before. The DVD had ended. Someone had turned off the DVD Player app on Jane's Macintosh. The three girls were stunned."


• Beavis and Butt-head Do Daria, by Smijey: "One of the students, a girl with her hair in pigtails, approached. 'Hi! You're cool. What's your name?' she asked. 'Quinn Morgendorffer.' 'Cool name,' said another girl standing next to the first. 'Uh, hey baby,' Butt-head said, having already gotten out of the car. Jake watched expectantly as Butt-head and one of Quinn's new friends conversed. He winced as the expected slap came, sighed, and put the car into drive."


• Behind the Iron Curtain, by Temppeli (part 3): "Darya entered the store. It was small, and had surprisingly good selection of art supplies. She wandered to the cash counter, and said. 'Gorbachev bought red roses.' 'And Reagan bought pralines,' smiled the female cashier, and continued, 'Follow me.'"


• Crazy Punk-Self-Insert Two and a half, by Wassersauefer: "The funny thing about fanfiction is, that you don't really know how much time the story takes. In-game... or is it called in-fiction in this case? I don't know, I'm confused. Either way is it a bit confusing, especially if you're living in a fanfic. Thanks again Charles, but seriously, Death Rowe tripling on a jock is in real life not as funny as when reading it. Don't even know why it was funny the first time. Perhaps because nobody even knew what tripling is. Now I do. I wish I didn't."


• Cynical Yours, by peapotmaster (part 1): "'Who said that?' Daria asked. 'I don't see anyone,' said Jane. 'Down here, assholes!' the voice belonged to a gray squirrel, who is eating a bagel with cream cheese. 'The name's Foamy the Squirrel, sluts. Welcome to my world, stupid humans.'"


• Daria/Dorian Ch. 14: Hair Dye On The Highway, by LadieT (part 4): "Monday arrived and as Jane was met by a flurry of compliments. Kevin even called her a 'babe', which made Brittany smack him in the middle of the hallway. Right before lunch, Sandi remarked at how good it looked and complementing her on spending a lot of money on professional grooming assistance. When Quinn told her that Stacy was the one who had done Jane's hair, all Sandi huffed and called it a sub-standard job. Dorian and Jane watched as Stacy's head and shoulders slumped."


• Esteemster Series, by TheExcellentS (part 2): "Scarlett: 'Ah yes... the posers... They are blinded by the allure of faux celebrity, seeking glory not for love of the sport, but for mere fame and fortune. Now I'd hate to be the bearer of bad news, because that's something that Andrea is so much better at, but to step out of the shadows of darkness, and grab the glittering prize the end of the road, you need to want it for more than just getting a shortcut to the real Hollywood a-list. You need to want it on all levels of your being. Every bone in your body, every reach of your mind, every part of your soul needs to be focused on success. And then, when you finally reach a personal nirvana, you will realise... that you still have to go through us.'"


• A Friend's Work - A Sequel ('Flashpoints': A Worldburner Mini-Fics Thread), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "Judith stood high above the city lights as yet another place fell to the Chaos that she allowed. Still, it wasn't long before NegaJane interrupted her view. 'Lynn's latest piece of "art" is ready. Care to see?' asked N.J. 'I suppose. Explosions can only entertain for so long.' pelied Judith."


• God Save The Esteem ep25: Exam Nation, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, Tommy Sherman says we did the best we could... well, best I can be assed to do, so let's just leave 'em and-' 'I will not have the sports teams decimated. I will NOT. Sports will prevail. I will MAKE IT PREVAIL. I come from a bloodline of sportsmen and my family WILL NOT BE ASHAMED OF ME AGA-' She cut herself off, realising she was in a corridor and not coming fourth-last in a sports day. 'You didn't hear that.'" (Part 4) (Part 5)


• It's All In the Delivery (Iron Chef: Turning 30), by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "The emcee took the microphone from the comic and began his introduction. 'Ladies and gentlemen, our next performer is originally from the DC area, but don't hold that against him. He's been featured at the Wacky Shack, Boingtastic, the Texas Laugh Depository and Yucks Incorporated. Now please give a warm round of applause to... Luhrman!'"


• I Was Framed (AUs, Brain Farts and other stuff), by Wassersauefer: "When Daria stepped into the office she had the urge to sigh. It looked like any other office she had been in before, at least on the first glance. Gray walls, big writing desk ,and a throne-like chair behind it, some pictures on the desk and a single computer monitor on the right. What was different was the big array of monitors on the left wall, showing different scenes from all over the building."


• John Lane 49: Acceptances, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Inside the house, Jodie found her parents in the den, both reading. Her stomach twisted and she felt like the blood was draining from her face. Neither parent looked up from their magazines while Jodie fought her internal battle. After taking a step back, she whispered, 'No,' and stepped forward to the center of the room. 'Mom, Dad, we need to talk about something.'"


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie (Chapter 3), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "'Ms Li wasn't in her office?' Stacy asked. 'No, her office was a mess, and she was nowhere to be found,' Jane said. 'Sand-di did wish thaaat the stuff in theeere would break,' Tiffany said. 'Oh, yeah,' Stacy said. Daria looked at Tiffany. 'Whaaat? I do take notice sometimes,' Tiffany said."


• Life In Eight Lines (Iron Chef: Where the Rubber Meets the Road...), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Meanwhile, across town, Quinn's best friend from high school, Stacy Rowe was on a date with Ted DeWitt Clinton. The two had just left the movies, when some one pointed a gun at them and demanded their money. Stacy rushed to pull the money out of her purse. Ted refused and proceeded to try to disarm the robber. In the insuing struggle, the gun went off and Stacy collapsed to the ground."


• LLH Alternate Future - 08 - Get Real, by psychotol (parts 1 and 2): "'I think she'd rather modify her training to get back to maximum effectiveness,' said Stacy, 'also, you need to get a life, when was the last time you painted a picture or forged a sculpture or something?' 'The Legion is my life,' said Jane. 'That's ... ... admirable,' said Stacy, 'look, sometimes you need to take time off and do something different, or you go insane, I mean, we're all Legionnaires, and we all have something, I race in motorbike rallies, Jodie runs that CSI continent in Second Life, Brittany seems to be getting the hang of that basic First Aid course.'" (Part 2)


• Lost and Found (Iron Chef: Turning 30), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "The struggles with withdrawal, the pain she felt as her body fought to get rid of the poison she had been feeding it with - just thinking about it made Jane shudder. Then there was the facing of the fact that she had thrown everything she had ever cared about away. Her art, Daria, Trent - she had tossed them in the garbage because she loved the heroin more. Hell, she was surprised she wasn't in some numbered coffin in a Potter's field somewhere. Jane watched as the tears rolling down her cheeks hit the floor between her feet."


• Mad Dog's Legacy Part 7: Teenage Experimentation, by Hyrin (parts 1 - 3): "At dinner, Helen broached the subject with her usual finesse. 'Daria, I heard you're working with Kevin Thompson on a science project. He's quarterback of the football team, isn't he?' Quinn wilted almost instantly under Daria's death glare. 'Brittany was sobbing in the bathroom!' 'Tell me all about your project, Daria,' Helen said softly, trying to defuse the moment. 'I have to force a mild mannered, simple-minded creature to bend to my will. Also something about a mouse.'" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Melody Powers' Last Stand (Iron Chef: April Fools!), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Jane put down the thousand-page manuscript. After reading the first page, she had randomly flipped to one of the pages towards the middle. Disgusted by what she read there, she checked out several more pages throughout the story, and each was more revolting than the last. Setting down the most disturbing piece of erotica she had ever read, she looked at the other object that was in the shoebox hidden at the back of Daria's closet."


• Moments in Life (Iron Chef: Where the Rubber Meets the Road...), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "In Boston, Daria Morgendorffer walked down the street to a non-descript apartment building on the outskirts of town. Checking to see if she had been followed, she went up the stairs to apartment 3-J. She entered and closed the door behind her. Turning, she saw a man lounging on the couch. 'You're late,' he said, a smile in his deep voice."


• A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (part 20): "Taken aback, Jane blinked and blurted, 'What's gotten into you? Next you'll tell me you're going out with him.' Daria's insides froze. If she thought she had hidden her shock at hearing what she'd come to tell, Jane's next words disabused her. 'You are going out with him,' she breathed in an awed tone usually reserved informing supervillains of their madness."


• Ping. Ping. Ping. Ping. (Iron Chef: Turning 30), by untra (COMPLETE!): "Kevin gave the customer a goofy smile and he punched in the final buttons on the cash register. 'That will be $33.87, maam. Thank you for shopping at Quickmart, have a nice day!' Good, good. You're definitely on your way to a promotion Kevin. Just keep working hard and think good thoughts. Once you get that promotion, you can get your own apartment. You're living the dream, kid!"


• Promises, by LadieT (part 13): "When dinner was over, Helen, Jake, and Trent volunteered for clean up duty while the former Lawndale High students gathered in the living room and told their favorite Jeff stories. Several of them included Quinn, of course, which kept Cleo quite fascinated. Her mom and dad had told her a couple of stories, like what happened with a squirrel, and something about a play at school - but these were new stories. Each story was followed by laughter, and occasionnally a tear or two would fall."


• Questions Asked Questions Answered & Pizza w/ Jane Ch 3, by Lord Yellowtail (COMPLETE!): "Bubbles just smiled. 'I can't tell you how you'll feel. There's a passage I love in one of Robbie's books, though, that explains exactly how you'll change. 'The two of you start talking about your feelings and your feelings float outside of you like vapors, and they mix together like a fog. Before you realize it, the two of you have become the same mist and you realize you can never return to being just a lone cloud again, because the isolation would be intolerable.''"


• Quinn's Code - 02: Invite of the Geek, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "'I'll move my car out of the driveway,' Jennifer said. 'No need, I can drive on the lawn,' Trent said. 'No, Trent, remember the last time you tried that? You almost hit the scupture, and the mailbox, and almost crashed into the house!' Jane said."


• Recruitment - A 'Worldburner' Mini-Series, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Typing out a number of commands, Richard smiled as a single purple light blinked rapidly for three seconds. 'We have alignment.' Thirty seconds later, a portal of glowing white energies, rippling like the watery portal generated by 'sliding portals', appeared on the other side of the office. 'Nice effects, Archangel,' Richard yawned. 'Would you mind telling me why you felt the need to sneak in through the back door – and why you felt the need for me to put a 'temporal lock' in place around the office?”'" (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4a) (Part 4b) (Part 5a) (Part 5b) (Part 5c) (Part 6) (Part 7a) (Part 7b) (Part 7c)


• Remembrance, by HolyGrail2007 (parts 1 - 3): "She was going alone. Neither Jonathan nor Kim herself would ever justify the need for a partner on this case. One was sufficient enough, any more on a case this small would could cause...offense on the part of the local police. They may be untried on such a case, but they were not incompetent, and no overtures on the part of the FBI should insinuate otherwise." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Rock and Rule (IRON CHEF - Worldburner: Judith vs. Jim Vitale!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Judith whipped out the guitar as if from nowhere and the sonic blast threw Jim across the street. She chuckled, turned, and then fell as a sonic boom hit her - somehow, from somewhere, he'd gained his own. She snarled. 'Oh, looks like someone wants to get funky. Sorry to say, Jimbo, but I like to stack the deck.'"


• Rude Awakening: Episode 1, by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "DARIA: I appreciate it. If you want to talk to me, just call. SANDI: (Back in her office): Talk to you later, (Joking this time and smiling) Quinn's cousin. JANE: Sound like she hasn't change at all. DARIA: She changed and we will as well. "


• Rude Awakening Episode 2: "I'm the Boss", by DIsaac (parts 1 - 3): "JODIE: After nailing down that Channel 5 Deal with WHUB that we been trying to nail down for a decade, Turning around a station that was a sinking stone by redoing the play list, growing the rating with said play list and putting the station in the top 5 in the market for the first time in the long time. That doesn't sound like a Musical Director to me. DARIA: (Interested): What does that sound like to you? JODIE: (matter of fact) My new Programming Director! Daria Morgendorffer, would like to accept this offer of a new position with WHUB?" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "Sad to say, there always seems to be a large number of devious opportunists on alert for just such circumstances. So, naturally, this girl's misfortune was noticed and they moved in and took over. In short, they did a dreamjacking and she's become a dream puppet. Our job now is to carefully disconnect the strings...' She was interrupted by Tiffany moaning in her sleep while making slow fluidic swimming motions: 'Do these manatees make me look faaaaattt?'"


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "I've never been that furious before. Never that . . . vicious. I didn't just want to kill those harpies to let off some steam. I wanted to hurt them. I was ready to start torturing the second one I downed, and I don't condone torture, not under any circumstances. Not even these beasts deserve that. So what the hell was I thinking? What have I been thinking this entire time, even? Is it really this town pushing into my head, like David said? Making me paranoid and enraged? Making me think that inflicting pain on other creatures is a good idea?" (New part)


• Sick Sad Photography (Long Story Challenge #2), by untra (part 2): "Suddenly a thought came to her. She blinked a few times and then gasped with surprise. 'What?!' Jane growled with frustration, but was answered with Quinn diving for the book bag. Quinn reached in through the sides and grabbed the inkjet pages, unraveling them and looking with great interest at the girl posing in the photos. 'Say "please" next time,' Jane sighed, looking down with annoyance at Quinn. 'What is it Scooby? You found a clue?'"


• This One's For The Girls (Iron Chef: Turning 30), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "'Miss Rowe - this is your third victory so far and the season is still young. Do you think you have what it takes to be in the Chase at the end of the season?' One reporter asked. 'I think so - I'm a part of a good team and my crew chief is one of the best in the business - so not only do I expect to be in the chase - I plan on being number one when it's all said and done,' Stacy answered."


• Trent-Foolery sequel (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by GingerLove84 (COMPLETE!): "(Trent and Daria look towards the stairs in surprise. A bunch of thuds are heard and then Jane comes running down the stairs looking like she had a rough night. Her t-shirt is on inside out and her shorts are on backwards. One her feet are a tennis shoe and a sandal. She runs to Daria and grabs her by the arms.) JANE: How much did I drink last night?"


• Try, Try Again (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "An hour later, after a trip to the drug store and another little stay in the bathroom, Daria punched numbers on the cordless phone and listened as it rang. 'Yo.' 'It happened again.'"


• Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Noah, man,' Trent breathed, terrified as he walked amongst the marked chambers. 'What the hell have you done?' 'Exactly what I set out to do,' Noah Barkman replied. Trent pulled his lips back in a grimace, baring his teeth. 'Who are they?' he asked. 'I don't really see how that is of any consequ-' 'Who. Are they?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: April Fools!), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "'Dammit, Daria! I should know not to make bets with you by now!' 'Come on, Lane, fork over the ten-spot.' 'Yeah, yeah, here's your filthy lucre!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Turning 30), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "She actually tried to keep it going. There were arguments; he wanted kids and she didn't. She figured he cheated - who didn't cheat these days? But when she found out that one of the women he was with had a child, all she could see is a future claim for child support on the horizon - she could never imagine De'Shaun being careful - and she called up Ashley-Amber, her ex-stepmother and life confidant."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Turning 30), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Quinn looked over her birthday cake with pride, the words Happy 30th written in green frosting. She had a good life, a job in fashion marketing a husband and four kids. Now shrouded by her family and friends she said. 'I couldn't imagine a better 30th birthday'"


• Unnamed story (IRON CHEF - Worldburner: Judith vs. Jim Vitale!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Vitale had just entered his office when the punch knocked him to the floor. By the time he'd registered that, a steel bar was raining down on his jaw, his elbows, his spine, his knees - bones splintered and blood stained the carpet and he screamed from the pain and the humiliation until it finally, blessedly stopped."


• The Unsocial Network (Iron Chef: Turning 30), by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "Charles got close to the door and, as he was about to pull the handle, he saw his reflection in the glass. It startled him. He saw the same red hair, but there was a lot less of it now. His face was still youthful, but there were a few lines where he used to smile. The eyes of the person he saw in front of him were different than they used to be. They were tired, older than his age which was now thirty. This was the night of his thirtieth birthday and his dinner was done microwaving in front of him."


• The Void (IRON CHEF - Worldburner: Judith vs. Jim Vitale!), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "'Where are we?' questioned Judith. 'The void' answered an irritated Jim. 'How the hell did we end up here and why can't I gate away' in the real world that out burst of anger could have shaken building or shattered glass but here it was nothing. 'It happened because we were both in the same place at the same time, should an irresistible force ever meet immovable object the universe rather than be destroyed expels the deviants into the void the space between universes. Next time you go to kill one of your alternate selves make sure she isn't seeing her mother at my office.'"


• Whatever It Is, by GingerLove84 (part 1): "DARIA: Don't ask. (Bt) Why don't you go find your boots while I kill your brother. JANE (grinning): Alright, but I'm determined to have you as a sister-in-law. I think Wind is single again... TRENT: Not even a serial killer deserves that Janey."


• What the Fuck? (AUs, Brain Farts and other stuff), by Wassersauefer: "'I heard your girlfriend made some dollars on the side in a run-down strip club.' Some of the football players in blue, the ones from Polk High, chuckled. But instead of getting angry, Kevin Thompson just seemed confused. 'Um, no. That club is in rather good shape.' 'How do YOU know?' 'My father owns it.'"


• Worldburner: The Red Sky Experiments, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Here's the thing: when you hop around as much as I have, you notice the same things keep happening over and over in the multiverse. Everyone can be a talking dinosaur or a universe under SkyNet control or a world where Ringo was a really good drummer, and you will still have the same few points where that reality and others attached to it can be altered. A number of them related to the green jacketed snot-nosed bitch. I could have chosen any, but come on, that kiss. I had to vape that one."

"And it's an antique!"

Today is both International Children's Book Day and National Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich Day. It isn't said whether or not the peanut butter sandwich Daria sat on in "Road Worrier" had jelly in it, but let's just assume it did for now. The real burning question, however, is whether it was grape or strawberry. I'll leave you all to fight that one out in the comments while I post the latest fandom news.

• What do you think of Bon Jovi's remark that "Jobs killed the music scene"? Discuss it in the thread.


• Kvltism has 5 urgent questions about the Akira remake.


• Does Tori Amos have a scary smile? Talk about that and more in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum.


• What do you think was Daria's role in Quinn's canonical character development?


• Lots of new Iron Chefs in the Creative Writing forum: Vukodlak's Quinn's Trashfreak out, GlitterShrooms's Bridal Expo Scenes, cfardell_Brenorenz29's Turning 30, Erin M.'s Where the Rubber Meets the Road..., and Vukodlak's April Fools!

April Fool!

It's April Fool's Day, the day when you absolutely cannot believe a word anyone says to you for twenty-four hours.

Except for me, of course. I would never lie to you.

In unrelated news, I will be charging people to read this blog starting...now. The cost will be fifty dollars per word, and I have set up a tab for each and every one of you. And don't think you can get away; I'm a librarian. We're everywhere.

I know of at least one fanfic that takes place on April Fool's Day, I Meant to Do That by Richard Lobinske, but didn't unearth any others. If I missed them, please let me know in the comments and I'll be happy to add them.

Any Rickroll attempts, however, will be responded to with swift and terrible retribution. (shakes fist)

SRA did once provide April Fool's Day fanart for this very blog. Er...brace yourself before you look, though.

What the Girl in the Box Read

Happy birthday to Anna Sewell, who was born on this day in 1820. Sewell wrote the book Black Beauty, which we see Daria reading during one of the flashbacks in "Boxing Daria."

I've often wondered why Black Beauty in particular was chosen for that scene. The message in the book about treating people with kindness seems like something Daria would have her doubts about, and she didn't seem to have any real affinity for horses. Then again, perhaps she was a horse enthusiast right up until she was thrown off one at Camp Grizzly. Whatever the reason, exploring Daria's interest in the book would be a cool fanfic.

And speaking of fanfic, here's the latest!

• Awakening, by Chris Tucker (part 7): "Dr. Slosberg returns to his desk and spends the next 30 minutes writing notes on a legal pad. He speaks with her former therapist in Maryland. Dr Phillips is not greatly surprised by the revelation of her former patient's intentions. They both decide that Daria is strong enough that this repressed memory should be repressed no longer. This will be a major event in her short life. One she needs to deal with."


• Cole Barksdale, by Cap (part 4): "We found Angier and Tom standing in the main parlor. With them was a very old but clearly still vital man with a thick stock of white hair and a massive flowing mustache that served to remind me of the great jurist Oliver Wendell Holmes, junior. He stood ramrod straight next to a woman near his age sitting on a wing armchair. The phrase 'Grand Dame' leapt to my mind despite that she wore only a simple dark blue dress and modest kitten heels."


• Esteemster Series, by TheExcellentS (part 1): "O'Neill: 'New LFC Men's World Champion Tom Sloane defends his title for the first time against the man who many say was robbed of the belt months ago, Michael "Mack" Mackenzie.' Barch: 'Mack was screwed by Upchuck's sneaky tactics in that battle royal, but tonight Tom has given him a fair shot at winning the championship for the second time. You know, because he's such a big, freakin' hero.'"


• Extra Supplies, by untra (part 2): "Tiffany shrugged away from Stacy and sighed with irritation. 'I caaan't be pregnant. I don't waaant to be faaat.' 'You won't get fat, Tiffany,' Quinn lied halfheartedly. 'You'll just get...' Quinn made a hemisphere motion around her abdomen. 'big, is all.'"


• The Girl In Question, by Silver (part 4): "Quinn pulled the trigger once more. The round grazed the thing approaching her, but didn't stop it. Her mind finally came to the understanding that she couldn't hit anything with the gun. Even so, she didn't drop it as she started to flee."


• God Save The Esteem ep25: Exam Nation, by Charles RB (parts 1 and 2): "'Hmmm... That may be the solution, not just the problem. Maybe... Maybe our academically minded students will be willing to assist their more physically-minded peers! Different temperaments and views united by a common goal of learning... and finding common ground.' Ayoade thought briefly about the academically-minded students and their general relationship with the jocks. 'I don't think they'll go for it,' he said. 'Oh, I know the stereotypes and stories, but surely they'll help their fellow teens in their time of need!'" (Part 2)


• Ice Cream Disaffecto (Iron Chef: Bro and QB), byJPAGC (COMPLETE!): "He come to Kevin Thompson's dressing room, knocked and listened. Assorted sounds from behind the closed door meant someone was inside. 'Kevin?' Another indistinct sound. He knocked louder. 'Kevin, the shot's ready!' More sounds, like someone was moaning. Throwing caution to the wind, he opened the door. "


• Its So Not Fair (Iron Chef: Quinn's Trashfreak out), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Quinn was in full panic mode, she had found when taking out the trash a pregnancy test, now Quinn wasn't sure if the result was positive or negative as evidently the results on that brand would fade over time.* Quinn figured the test couldn't be more than a few days old."


• John Lane 49: Acceptances, by RLobinske (parts 1 and 2): "Daria said, 'Congratulations, Jodie, but you seem reluctant about something.' 'I really want to go to Turner, but my parents have been pushing Crestmore so much, I don't know.' John said, 'But don't they know how much you want to go to Turner?' Mack, said, 'Jodie, have you gotten around to telling them about Turner?' 'No.' 'Ah,' Daria said. 'Now we see the conflict.'" (Part 2)


• Life After Highland (Iron Chef: Lawndale State), by LadieT (part 23): "Quinn was about to start to jump up and down until she saw the look on Daria's face. 'Come on, Daria - this is good news - we should be celebrating.' 'We've been promised the money before, Quinn. I'm not going to celebrate until I see the it in my hands,' Daria said as she walked off. 'It's not like the money can give me back everything I've lost,' she mumbled as she walked up the stairs."


• My Little Daria - Friendship is Arcane (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "'Okay, this is getting even weirder than my usual hallucinations. The voice in my head appears to have voices in its head. I wonder what Dad used to make that berry juice last night?' 'Ahem. If anypony can hear me, please help us.' Daria furrowed her brow in confusion over the choice of terminology, but didn't have time to think about it before the voice continued. 'My name is Twilight Sparkle.'"


• Promises, by LadieT (part 12): "Kevin nodded. 'Do you happen to know if any of the houses around here are for sale? I want to be around more for her. If it hadn't been for Jeff my second senior year, I would have never graduated. I know that I could never replace him as her dad, but I think it might help Cleo if Uncle Kevvy was around more.' 'I think that if you did decide to move around here, she will be driving us crazy to come see you - but we didn't have that far of a trip to begin with. So, after dinner, we can help you check around,' Jane said."


• Questions Asked Questions Answered & Pizza w/ Jane Ch 3, by Lord Yellowtail (part 2): "Bubbles Utonium, refugee from another dimension stranded courtesy of Stargate Command screwing around with the Quantum Mirror one too many times, grinned widely at her, revealing perfect ivory teeth and sickeningly adorable dimples. 'Heya, Daria.' Bubbles' smile faltered. 'Your body sounds like -- oh, Daria, you look like a Smurf right now, don't ya?' she trilled worriedly. Daria hated when she made Bubbles do that."


• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 44): "The cupboards and countertops were grubby and the stove looked like it had seen better days. A guy was sitting at one of the butcher-block style tables reading a book. From where Daria stood, it looked like it was about typography. He looked up. The man's ice-blue eyes and curly light-brown hair fascinated Daria. She looked over at her friend: Jane was positively swooning."


• Remembrance, by HolyGrail2007 (prologue): "'What is it?' Jamie asked, but he didn't really have to. For, once he got up to the clearing, and the mist seemed to fade away, he could see that there was someone here. The clearing held one tree, in contrast to the others trees all around it. Lying underneath the tree, propped up very delicately leaning up against it, was a woman. Her eyes were shut completely and she didn't move one bit."


• Rude Awakening: Episode 2, by DIsaac (parts 5 and 6): "JANE: Don't you writers love wondering about 'what if' scenarios? DARIA: Sorta, but people can't live in 'what if?' land. They got to think 'what's next?' Do I have regrets? Hell Yes, but all people do. Though those experiences made me the person I am." (Part 6)


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "A light cough makes my heart skip a beat when I reach the end of the aisle. A very distinctly human noise, and suddenly I wonder if David might have gotten here ahead of me and is now lying in wait to ambush me. I still don't want to kill him, of course, but I can't just let him attack me, so I pull out my bat and shove the shotgun into its vacated spot in my pack. I've got no qualms at all with knocking him the hell out at this point." (New part)


• Searching For a New Hope, by thatLONERchick: "'That's it.' Daria stood, and Jane followed her. 'I won't say a damn thing about your changing the poster—if.' She turned and pinned Ms. Li with a hard brown eye. 'If you can honestly tell me no student has ever committed suicide in the history of Lawndale High, and back it up with facts. Then, you can do whatever you want with it.' Daria and Li stared at one another across the room for what seemed like centuries. After only about thirty seconds of objective time Li looked away, and Daria nodded."


• Stand or Fall (Iron Chef: Quinn's Trashfreak out), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "As she was jostling the bags around, Quinn heard something falling out of one of the bags. She looked down to see not only a used pregnancy test, but a used POSITIVE pregnancy test. Her eyes began to rapidly blink as she processed the information her brain had just received. Someone who either lived in her house or stayed over at her house this weekend was pregnant."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Bro and QB), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "MACK: Hello, Mike Mackenzie one half of the founders of QB and Bro Ice Cream. You may be wonder why I am in an open field with Kevin, the Other founder of this company, dressed in football pads? KEVIN: Yeah, why I am doing this again?"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Bro and QB), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'Hi, I'm Bro!' 'I'm the QB!' 'We've just released 4 new flavors of Ice Cream, including Touchdown Fudge Round and Running Back Snack!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Bro and QB), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "'Hi, I'm Michael Mackenzie, but you can call me Bro. Here at Bro and QB Ice Cream, we put our product through rigourous taste testing procedures to ensure that only the best ice cream makes it to your local freezers. Let's go see it now.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Quinn's Trashfreak out), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Quinn left the room, and Jane looked at Daria seriously. 'Are you sure she doesn't know?' 'I don't see how she can,' Daria said softly. 'I mean, there's just no way.' 'I hope not, because this is going to be hard enough as it is. Have you thought of what you're going to tell Tom?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "Helen looked at the three girls that were seated around the kitchen table and sighed. 'Daria, Jane, Monique, this constant angst between the three of you has got to stop,' Helen said as she consulted her notes. 'The only resonable solution is that you share the objects of your affections.'"


• Whispers in the Night: D&J, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Daria blinked; she knew that voice, and it was not one she associated with poetry. But then, Quinn accumulated admirers form every sector. She leaned forward a bit farther, eyes straining to focus on the blurry figure below. No specific features came to light, but he recited as one would Shakespeare: hand to the chest, one arm extended to the side as though the verse were an aria lovingly sung to an object of adoration."

And If You Ask Nicely, They'll Even Thaw Out the Bread!

Happy National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day, everybody! Today we take time to appreciate people like Earl and Barbara (from "Camp Fear"), with their simple, wholesome cheese sandwiches and non-dip-fighting potato chips. Just try not to swallow the cellophane as you check out the latest in fandom news.

• Wouter recently attended a vintage guitar show and has posted pictures.


• If you have an opinion on the upcoming UK Elections, post it in the thread!


• In movie news, there are threads in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum for Disney/Pixar Cars 2, Atlas Shrugged - The Movie, and Iron Sky.


• Daria827 is looking for links to any Daria/Trent stories. Post your recommendations!


• Brother Grimace is looking for help with Welsh speaking patterns and common phrases.


• Charles RB posted a new Iron Chef in the Creative Writing forum: Bro and QB.


• Chris Tucker posted a new Iron Chef in The Easel forum: MERCHANDISING!

Guest-Assisted Caption Contest!

The picture for today's caption contest was provided by Arena del Sur. Thanks!

As usual, post your caption ideas in the comments!

Bonus Points If Your Holiday Is Traditionally Celebrated with Cake!

Today is Make Your Own Holiday Day! This would be an excellent opportunity to add a new student to the ranks of Holiday Island High School, so go nuts. Please, though, no Mary Sue Appreciation Days. Let's spare Holiday Island at least one horror, okay?

I, meanwhile, will be celebrating Fanfic Update Day!

• Awakening, by Chris Tucker (part 6): "'Look, I know how you feel about your appearance. I understand why. And if I think about why for too long, I'll start crying. I would never, EVER pressure you to do something you don't want to do. But you did think about it, right? You wondered what you might look like. You thought about it, with that big old brainy brain of yours, and you didn't reject the idea out of hand.'"


• Bad Communication (Iron Chef: Helen's Trash Freakout), by Hyrin (part 2): "'No, Jane is not pregnant. Neither is Daria. And if I hear any rumors of either of them being pregnant, I'm going to burn your entire wardrobe and replace it from Goodwill!' 'That's fair, mom,' Quinn said, fighting to keep a growing panic from her face. 'Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to make a phone call.'"


• Bound to Highland, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Despite planning on leaving early in the morning for Montana, Daria crawled into the covered back of her pickup and retrieved a photo album. Inside the house, she sat on the sofa and flipped through photos of her and Quinn as small children. 'Dammit.' She closed the album and lowered her head. Dammit.' So instead of spending her final night there in a bed, she spent the final night on the sofa, holding the album close to her chest."


• Daria/Dorian Ch. 14: Hair Dye On The Highway, by LadieT (part 3): "A few moments later, Jane walked into the living and Dorian's mouth went dry. Stacy had shaped Jane's bangs to fit a little more around her face and the subtle streaks of blonde through-out made Jane's hair glisten in the light. Dorian was quickly losing the battle with his hormones, he glanced down and quickly ran upstairs. Jane studied him for a moment as he dashed past her."


• Esteemster Series Teaser 2, by TheExcellentS: "O'Neill: 'Quinn off the ropes... could be an attempt at Quinnception... Daria counters!' Defoe: Daria's got her up again... I think this is it!' O'Neill: 'SPLENDORA BOMB!!! SPLENDORA BOMB!!! We could have a new champ, Claire!'"


• The Girl In Question, by Silver (part 3): "'Dear mom and dad: This field trip was the worst idea you've ever had. I mean it. The bus was totaled by an explosion, my clothes are ruined, and it's just all gone to hell. Literally. I mean it. I think I just saw one of the shadows eat a raven.'"


• Kevin and the Fair Maidens (A LoLH Mini: Kevin and the Knights), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "Grinning like a fool he stood in front of a hot babe and introduced himself. She wasn't as well endowed as Brittany and not as cute as Quinn and the tattoo on her face was kind of a turn off, but damn was her body tight and her eyes pretty. 'Hi, I'm Kevin of Quarterback. Wanna make out?' He totally missed the warning gestures his fellow knights were giving him and the shocked looks the other girls were wearing."


• Kevin and the Horse (A LoLH Mini: Kevin and the Knights), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "'Lennart my dear friend, how is it going?', he asked when he reached the fence and leaned on it, next to another knight. This one was not as lanky but much more heavily build, more like a wrestler than a runner. The asked one snorted. 'See for yourself.' 'WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! NICE HORSIE NICE HORSIE!!!'"


• Lawndale Seven Chapter Two, by Wassersauefer (part 3): "Growing up on the Mars colonies she was a fleet brat from the moment she was born, her father in the fleet, her mother in the fleet and she herself going to a school sponsored by the fleet. As soon as she had been old enough she enrolled in the academy and got accepted into the ground forces of the Alliance. Not the fleet but the next best thing and she liked it better anyway. Yes, Janet Barch had been a proud citizen of the Terran Alliance. The emphasis on had been."


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 6: Model Misbehavior, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Daria walked. Inside her mind, she could hear her voice of Reason, very faintly, telling her that this was a bad idea. Another voice, that of Temper, had finally managed, after many years of struggle, to drown out Reason, and was not going to give up its moment in the spotlight." (Part 6)


• The Meeting, by Erin M. (part 1): "'Who called the meeting?' 'Guess,' Daria said. 'Who's called every pointless meeting for the last year?' 'Oh bloody hell,' Nigel huffed, taking his seat at the table. 'Is he still on about that?'"


• Rude Awakening: Episode 2, by DIsaac (parts 2 - 4): "BURNOUT: Daria, if you think you're bad, then you need to listen to Stacy try to fit as much 'Hard Rock' at 6pm as humanly possible. Then, try to think of her being Boston's Sweetheart, too. JANE: As long as they don't take her to a bar in New England. Then all bets are off." (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "I stand back up and reach into my back jeans pocket to pull out the engraved lighter I picked up in the gym. I stare at it in surprise for a second. I had completely forgotten about it when I was switching everything out to the backpack, but now it's lit the figurative light bulb above my head. The orbs are a puzzle, and I already have the key. I flick the lighter to life and hold it under the wooden orb. It takes a few minutes, but the wood finally catches and the flames begin to lick up its polished sides. I then turn to the metal orb and- Uh-oh." (New part) (Newer part) (Newest part)


• Searching For a New Hope, by thatLONERchick: "Jane sat up straight, suddenly energized, and grabbed another slice. 'You help me come up with an idea that fits the theme, and we both get credit for it.' Daria bit her lip, head tilted in thought. "Mm, I dunno. What did you have in mind?' 'Hm.' Jane chewed slowly as she rolled a thought around in her head. 'I want to say something. Not just anything, something... relevant. I want to make a statement.'"


• Two Halves: Chapter 6, by Dark Kuno (part 5): "'MR LANE! What policy was initiated to assist nations under threat of hostile takeover by Communist governments?!' bellowed Mr. DeMartino rapidly into the sleeping man's ear. 'The Truman Doctrine!' yelled Trent instantly as he leapt to his feet and looked around confused. 'CORRECT, as always Mr. Lane,' congratulated DeMartino with an almost feral grin. 'One day, I swear, I will figure out how you AWAYS manage to give the correct answer to a question despite your EXTREME narcoleptic proclivity.'"


• We3, by Ranger Thorne (parts 5 - 10): "'Okay.' Looking at her family, Daria said, 'Uh, I'll be right back. I just want to put this away before the embarrassing familial activities begin.' 'Embarrasing what?' Jake asked Helen. 'Hugs, Jake,' she replied. 'Before we give her hugs.'" (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10)