Phooooone Hooooooome?

Today is Extraterrestrial Abductions Day, so Artie had better beware! Watch out for any Tiffany aliens today, because they're bound to take you to their fashionable spaceships and make you over by force. Your only hope is to have plenty of shiny surfaces available to distract them with.

Fanfic Update!

• After the Disaster 2 :: Esteemers, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "'What does the Fashion Club do...?' Sandi thought for a moment and then immediately looked at Stacy. 'Stacy?' Truth be told, Sandi had no idea what the did, except enforce good fashion rules around the school, to keep up with the hopping 90s trends."


• After the Disaster 2 :: The Invitation, by Fhujeth_x (part 1): "'I cannot believe it.' Sandi glanced towards Tiffany while she walked down the street towards her house, 'Joey, Jeffy, AND Ja-- That other kid are all freaking out about Quinn.' She rolled her eyes, 'I mean, Tiffany. Quinn is new. She has like... new everything, you know?'"


• Apocalyptic Daria: Fence Builders Corps, by Doggieboy (prologue): "Doug smiled, too, and chuckled, 'We have six to seven miles of fence to put up before...' The woman swallowed, and her smile weakened even more. 'Don’t worry about it, Jennifer,' he said. '"Ours is not to reason why, ours is to do, or die."'""


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 20 and 21): "Scene: Same, only much later, Nallok is holding two of the cases full of credits and is shaking Quinn’s hand. Voiceover: 'No problems arise, and Nallok’s work is complete.' Nallok: 'Well, may the force be with you,' leaves. Quinn: 'Okay, let’s get Tiffany back here and inject ourselves, then we can start refining our very own force powers.'" (Part 21)


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 32): "'Hey you two... wait up!' Came Tilly’s voice from behind. 'Hurry up slow poke.' Said Jane, as she paused to wait. Daria kept walking. Tilly picked up the pace, breaking into a run to catch up. 'What’s with her?' 'She’s tired of waiting.' Said Jane. She waited for Tilly to catch up, and then continued to walk. 'On what?' asked Tilly. 'You I guess.' Said Jane."


• Disconnect the Dots, by InvisibleDan (parts 1 and 2): "The first meeting of my undergraduate creative writing class of the semester went as per usual. We were scheduled to meet only once a week, for three hours on Thursday afternoons, and I had to steel myself with coffee and chocolate to make it through. I sat down, unpacked my tote bag full of notebooks, note pads, and papers, and cleared my throat to begin." (Part 2)


• A Distant Lawndale, by Arena del Sur (part 7): "I went upstairs. Once back at my room I remained in the dark, looking through a window. I was ashamed. How could I have forgotten the tragedy that soon my family is going to suffer, the imminent failure of my father...?"


• Dylan, by J-D (part 2c): "He passed near Simon Griffith standing in the middle of the room talking with a couple of other jocks from the swim team, one who looked East Asian and another a tall blond with a buzz-cut. They were scanning the room, too, and also pointing. Rod faded back against the wall of the room just behind their line of sight. 'Okay, I'll give her seven and a half out of ten, but that's the limit', the tall blond was saying. 'But look at her over there! Definitely at least a nine, especially if she keeps it up with that wiggle.'"


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 3): "'And here we are!' Erin parked the car in a somewhat seedy part of the South Bronx (and being a seedy part of South Bronx is a challenge). 'Aunt Amy said this was the best place to meet her.' Daria looked over at the dirt-brick club, with the sickly neon 'Spanks For The Memories' sign and crude drawing of a woman with a whip."


• Melody Powers, Book 1: "Our Chick in Havana" (Round Robin), by JoeMerl (part 2): "'That Melody Powers has been a thorn in our side for too long,' the Supreme Leader said. 'The Bolsheviks Allied to Destroy Democracy and Institute Evil Socialism will not stand for another blow to our organization. The time has come for Melody Powers to die.' The Supreme Leader pressed a button on the intercom. 'Send them in!'"


• A New World, by breitasparrow (part 2): "After a few more minutes of chatting, they both called it a night after Jane told him she had to get up in the morning for an exam. Just as Trent hung up the pay phone, Nick walked up to him with a bummed expression. 'Uh, Trent? We kinda have a problem.'"


• Quinn meets Quinn (Iron Chef: I Met Myself on the Way to the Town Square ...), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn knew, however, that it wasn't an echo. 'Who are you?' she asked. 'Who are you?' the other person asked back, with a tinge of fear. This time, Quinn walked in the direction of the voice, perpendicularly to the direction she had been going in. 'I asked first,' Quinn said as the other person came into sight. 'I'm Quinn,' the long haired red head said. 'Golly, her hair is longer than Daria's and Erin's,' Quinn thought. 'Strange, I'm Quinn too,' Quinn said, with a nervous laugh."


• Rude Awakening Mini: The St. Patty Day, by DIsaac (part 4): "@tweetbynumbers (Jane Lane) Listen, amgia how about a couple of shots of Irish whiskey to forget anything basketball...My treat! @MelPowers (Daria Morgendorffer) I see we're using the offical sports drink for writers and artists? Well if it's a free drink for me.... I'll gladly take it!" (Part 5)


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks Chapter 12, by Fhujeth_x (parts 1 and 2): "'Tommy Sherman?' Sandi tried really hard to remember that name, something slightly familiar about it. That week Fluffy ate the... 'You're dead...' She looked at him, 'Like, you're that goalpost guy from Lawndale... the one the cheerleaders think haunt the locker rooms or something.' 'Tommy Sherman does a lot more than haunt the girls locker rooms.'" (Part 2)


• Stupid End of Times (Iron Chef: Getting Ready for the End of the World), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Tom, Daria and Jane watched the news report in horror. The plan had failed in ten hours the asterioid would impact the east coast hailing the end of humanity. They thought about all the things in life they'd never done what they'd never do with their lives."


• To Annoy a Mockingbird. Chapter 5, by BF110C4 (parts 1 and 2): "In the table that the Fashion Club had reserved for themselves at the beginning of the year Sandi was already waiting for her to start their meeting. 'Secretary Stacy, please annotate the late arrival of the vice-president and the opening of this session of the Fashion Club' It seemed that Sandi wasn't in a good mood. 'Yes, Sandi.' 'Now the first topic of the day is the official inquiry of the Vice-President Quinn in unfashionable activities.'" (Part 2)


• Unnamed story (IC : Daria and the School of Magic), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): "'Jane,' Daria said as the rock golems reached a hundred yards, 'we're about to get killed.' Jane turned from the solid rock wall long enough to grunt, then turned back to the wall as she pulled out a pencil."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crazy Pairing Story!), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "'Aw,' St. Patrick's Day said, a ridiculous little simper spreading across his face. 'Ain't she a bonnie lass?' Cupid raised an eyebrow, looking from his friend to the blonde model twenty feet away. 'Whoa. You ran away from Holiday Island just to moon over some chick?' He chuckled. 'You got it bad, man.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Getting Ready for the End of the World), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Bulletproof glass across the whole building. Check."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Getting Ready for the End of the World), by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "In the distance toward the town center she saw what she at first took to be a flock of large birds ascending toward the burgeoning clouds now covering half the sky. She then stood stock still for several minutes blinking rapidly and swallowing hard trying to maintain control of herself. Her knees started to tremble and her breakfast threatened to make a reappearance as she realised exactly what she was looking at."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Angelboy (COMPLETE!): "As the aged speakers finally died out, the teacher began to take role, which most of the students ignored for the most part, as they’d been together since Elementary school. It wasn’t until the history teacher reached one name and his eye nearly exploded out of his skull did they pay attention. 'Daria Morgendorffer?'"


• We Only Hurt the Ones We Love (IC Runaway Daria), by deneich (part 9): "'Hello, Davidson residence....hello, is anyone there?' I could hear the stress and apprehension in her voice, I swallowed tried to speak and swallowed again, so much had to be said but all I could manage was to croak out a raspy 'Mom' 'Cassie! Dear Lord, thank you for answering our prayers. Cassie, where are you?'"

"I have none, so I said nothing."

Well, today's an interesting day in that I haven't been able to find a single thing to mention that relates to Daria--no birthdays, no anniversaries, no silly holidays, nothing. So how about the rest of you? Anything to share about today, Daria-related or not? Is it your birthday? Did anything cool happen today? Do you have a headache? Tell us about it in the comments!

Fandom News!

• AradiaGoblinQueen is looking for Diana Morgan. Can anyone help find her?


• Are nightclubs and other business in non-English speaking countries sexier in English?


• ApolloIVtv would like some advice on friend problems.


• Talk about Mad Men Season Five in a new thread.


• Will Tim Burton's remake of Dark Shadows be good or bad? Join the discussion!


• misericordia started a new Round Robin story: Melody Powers, Book 1: "Our Chick in Havana."


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: Vukodlak's Tom and Daria a different beginning and Waylander's Daria and the School of Magic.


• Fhujeth_x shares her vision of what it would be like if Facebook was around during the show.

Wearing Head-to-Toe Bright Green? Tsk.

Begorrah! Erin go Bragh! And other Irish cliches as well! Because today is St. Patrick's Day, also known as an excuse for people to drink green beer and pinch people.

It's also an excuse for me to share this list of St. Patrick's Day-related fanfic, so enjoy!

• Acts of Cupidity by Disco 3:16


• Everything Happens For a Reason by Mahna Mahna


• Holiday Kombat by Richard Lobinske


• Last Dance by Dennis


• One Night Stand: A Misleading Title by Mitch


• Repeiceing Down the Girl by Morden Gans


• Three by Richard Lobinske


• Will Ye Go Lassie, Go? by thatLONERchick

Today is also a triple episode anniversary, as "College Bored," "Daria Dance Party," and "Murder, She Snored" all aired on this day in 1997, 1999, and 2000. Mmm, frat parties, high school parties, and Kevin's funeral. What's not to celebrate?

Fanfic Update!

• After the Disaster 2 :: Esteemers, by Fhujeth_x (part 4): "'Uhm, like. Hi. Sandi Griffin, Fashion Club President.' Sandi walked over to Quinn as the four boys glanced back and forth from Sandi to Quinn, Stacy took position, looking at Sandi expectantly, 'You seem pretty cool...' She said, a follow up from her and Stacy's running into her that morning, meeting, 'Wanna like, be in our club and stuff?'"


• Animal Care, by januense (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, Janey. I'm going to look for a job in town. Maybe I'll be out of home for a while. See you later' She replied, not really paying attention. 'Ok .... see you' She realized the meaning of Trent's words only when he was already out of the front door. She lost the grip on the paintbrush and turned her head to the now empty door, wide eyed. 'Wait .... did he REALLY said JOB ?!?'"


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 8), by oni (part 1): "While Jane went downstairs to grab her drink, the phone in her room started to ring. Not thinking much of it, Quinn picked it up and spoke into it. 'Hello.' The voice on the other was shaken up. 'Quinn?' Picking up immediately who it was, Quinn responded with concern in her voice, 'Stacy, is that you? What’s wrong?'"


• Barch's Story* - Holy Image of Lies, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "Taking a deep breath and yawning, the young science teacher took a deep breath and sighed, thinking about the amazingness of this Jeff guy. Sure, she didn't want a relationship at the moment, what with school and everything - but she was really interested in getting to know him and maybe... just maybe...-- *sneeze* Pulling a tissue from her pocket she wiped her nose, sitting down at a near by bench, sneezing again, then again... Looking around for the signs of a dog or something else she'd be allergic to [but she knew dogs weren't allowed on campus], she wiped her nose and began to breath in the fall air again." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 17 - 19): "Camera follows her gaze, Darth Maladi entering the library. Darth Maladi: 'Give me a minute,' continues on into the book farm. Camera returns to Daria and Jane. Daria: Nods 'Right.' Jane: After a pause, 'Oh, Darth Maladi, try not to kill Mathew, he may be a –' blurred mouth, noise, '-, but ... ... Actually, disregard.'" (Part 18) (Part 19)


• Don't Call My Name (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "After sneaking around for months it took courage to do what they did. 'Fernando, I.......Don't how to say this ......' They knew what had to be said."


• Fallout Lawndale: 2289, by Vukodlak (part 6): "They had almost made it unnoticed to the movie room when Kay and Elsie spotted them. 'Tom who’s the girl... Oh Daria so nice to see you your looking lovely' Kay smiled upon recognizing her. 'You really should visit more often.' 'Nice dress. What happened lose a bet?' Elsie laughed gawking at her outfit. 'Elsie apologize.' Kay scolded. 'No she’s right I lost a bet.' Daria sighed. It was going to be a really long week."


• Holy Image of Pies (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Jane was downstairs, popping popcorn for her and Daria's monthly Bad Movie Night, when she heard some unusual grunts and roars come from Daria's room upstairs. At first, Jane paid no attention to this, but then she realized that Daria had earlier finished all the pies she had baked in preparation for the screening of the movie and shouldn't have had anything to grunt or roar about."


• The Lindy Hop (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Angelboy (COMPLETE!): "Clutching the package in her hands carefully, she teased her bangs, giving them that look Quinn had always thought was so cute. Feeling her nerve fading, while a blush on her cheek grew, she knew that she had to do this soon, or forever lose the chance to be friends with Quinn. It was all in her court, and she couldn’t drop the ball now."


• Melody Powers, Book 1: "Our Chick in Havana" (Round Robin), by misericordia (part 1): "Overchuck visibly dragged his eyes upwards to make contact with Melody's. The diminutive orange haired homunculus rarely looked above her neck even when she wasn't dressed in a bikini as she - barely - was now. An automatic ROWRR died in his throat as he saw her clench her hand ready to give him a lethal blow and remembered how many men she had killed."


• Quinn's Code Story 6: The Lab Mouse, the Geek and the Convention, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "Early in the morning, Cindy and Kristen approached the Morgendorffers house. 'This is going to be a great convention,' Cindy said. 'So you say,' Kristen said. She had heard Cindy and Quinn go on and on about it for the last week, along with Quinn's complaints about Daria's treatment of Kevin. 'You are going to enjoy it, just wait,' Cindy said as she pressed the Morgendorffer's doorbell."


• A Resentuful Cynic Ch. 1 New Life, Old Life, by ST91 (part 6): "'Ok, ok. Don’t get mad. You don’t have a crush on my brother,' said Jane as she rubbed her arm. 'Finally.' Said Andrea. 'You have a super crush.' Said Jane before Andrea lunged at her with a pillow. Seeing the girls jokingly fighting, Daria felt a pang of sadness, she had never been able to do anything like that. She had never had a friend."


• Rude Awakening Mini: The St. Patty Day, by DIsaac (parts 1 - 3): "As alcohol is involved I feel it is important to run over our rules for this. I know as we are all adults we can respect a good beverage or two but please remember YOU ARE ON THE CLOCK AND ON AIR! Now can drink when your shift is over and Stacy, Daria, it's WHEN THE SHIFT IS OVER NOT BEFORE! And what the hell, Daria....before noon? What is with you?" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Scarlett the Fairy and the Snowball Fight, by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): "Scarlett hovered in the air as she weighed her options. She could go through the lot and risk being pelted by snowballs, or she could fly over the sidewalks and take the safe and normal route to the library. But flying over the lot cut at least ten minutes off her trip and the air was cold... Our young fairy did her best to set a speed flying record over the lot, and she weaved and bobbed to avoid the various snowballs. For instead of throwing at each other, all the boys turned their attention, and their snowballs, towards her."


• To Annoy a Mockingbird, Chapter 4, by BF110C4 (COMPLETE!): "Now that she had been cut off from the insurance money she found herself a little short on money, and she couldn’t exactly default on her payment to the Dinozzos -she liked her knees on her legs thank you very much- so she would have to get their 35% from the school funds. Since she had already put most of the teachers on the starvation threshold, and she dare not touch the sports, she would need to drain the maintenance fund." (Part 4)


• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Holy crap,' Daria said. 'Are you thinking what I'm thinking?' Jane said. 'Yes. I'm also thinking property damage, lawsuits, and our most certain expulsion from Lawndale High School.' 'Yeah,' Jane moaned. 'But still....'"


• Why?, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Kevin wandered the hallways of Lawndale High School long after classes had ended, desperately seeking an answer to the question that had been plaguing him all day. He'd never encountered a mystery this deep, and the solution continued to elude him."

"They're gonna kill him." "Let's not get our hopes up."

Today is International Day Against Police Brutality. One could argue that Upchuck had it coming, but it's still a little painful to watch that scene. Unless you're Ms. Barch, I suppose.

Today is also the Ides of March, and if only Caesar had thought to beware of them, perhaps he'd still be alive today.

Except he wouldn't be, because he'd be over 2,000 years old. Trick question, yeah!

Fandom News!

• Talk about First World Problems in a new thread.


• BF110C4 is looking for help with Daria's timeline.


• Whom would you consider a strong male character in Daria?


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: ThanatosRW's Think of the children and Smijey's RE: RE: FWD: Crappy Email Forwards.

Mmm...Pi!

Happy Pi Day! You could celebrate by calculating pi to 500 digits, or--and this is my preference--eating some delicious pie. Just make sure you calculate the circumference of the pie first.

It's kind of fitting in the math/science geek vein that today is also Albert Einstein's birthday. Apparently Kevin resembles the late great physicist when he wears glasses, but I don't see it. Maybe he needs to tease his hair more.

Finally, today is Learn About Butterflies Day. Thanks to Amanda Lane, we have a pretty good understanding of the pros and cons of holding butterflies tightly versus letting them go, and in Jane's opinion that's more than enough information.

Fanfic Update!

• After the Disaster 2 :: Esteemers, by Fhujeth_x (parts 2 and 3): "Sandi sat quietly for a moment, thinking to herself before turning to Tiffany, 'We have a situation.' She commented quietly. There was a new girl in the school with nearly perfect bouncy red hair, a great fashion sense, and most of all... she seemed to get instant popularity with the guys, 'A situation we need to have an emergency meeting about right away.'" (Part 3)


• Alienated, by misericordia (COMPLETE!): "'And yet -' He peered at Daria myopically. 'I calculate that the photons falling upon my eyes are sub-atomic messengers of hope for both of our peoples. For you, the one known as Daria The Morgendorffer, are -' Daria winced 'Puh-lease don't say that you're my father. That was old back when being old was still new.'"


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 12 - 16): "Stoner (Man in jeans, green tee shirt, goatee): Wanders around, looking like he’s not quite with it. Daria: 'Now, the Senate has 100 seats, two per state, and congress has 435 seats, each congressman is allocated to an equal portion of the United States population, both houses can submit bills for consideration, but anything requiring direct allocation of money needs congressional approval because only congress can set taxation.' Stoner: looks at Darth Maladi, 'Wow.'" (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16)


• Daria DeMartino, by Reven384 (part 1): "Ms. Li gritted her teeth and decided it was time to use all that spy equipment she used the school’s money for. She’d find someway to get that girl in that self esteem class. She went to her office and listened. The hidden cameras did their job and caught everything the students did. All she had to do was wait and listen. A girl like Daria would provide all the rope she needed. She had no desire to lose a student whose test scores were so good, but the girl needed to be humbled."


• Daria/Dorian Ch.16: Sugar High, by LadieT (part 3): "Dorian agreed and went back to the pizza. A few minutes later, Quinn walked in to check on her big brother. As she took the cheese off of a slice, he asked Quinn if she heard Ms. Li at the end of the day. Quinn mentioned something about Friday night. We need to attend that meeting. We can't - Friday is our biggest game of the season. We are playing Oakwood at Oakwood, it's even going to be televised. Great, maybe we can talk mom or dad into going."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 2b): "The unfortunate part about this was that it made Kent grateful to Dylan, even if the gratitude was sure to be ephemeral. When they went from art class into lunch period, he followed Dylan into the cafeteria. It emerged that as well as being grateful he was uncomfortable at the idea of owing a debt to Dylan, and wanted to cancel it as soon as possible. 'You want to do something for me? How about if you don’t ask me for help again in art, or speak to me about anything else at all, or even notice that I exist? Ever?'"


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 2): "The sun was rising when Jane arrived at Ashfield: rustic, remote, peaceful. Jane was mentally playing the Friday the 13th theme from the instant she saw it. Daria would’ve got that joke. Ah well. Just a few weeks, Jane-oh, best make the most of it."


• A New Beginning (IC Runaway Daria), by LadieT (part 3): "About an hour later, Monique and Trent entered Daria's room and began helping her put up her posters and paintings. By the end of afternoon, the four had already agreed to get together the next day so that the Lanes could give the Meades a proper tour of the town. As Jane and Trent headed home, Trent looked down at his little sister. For the first time since Penny left, Jane was actually smiling."


• Quinn's Code Story 6: The Lab Mouse, the Geek and the Convention, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Quinn was playing Guild Wars when Daria slammed open the door to the room. Quinn turned from the computer. 'What is it, Daria?' 'The mouse is missing!' 'I'm surprised as you are, Daria.' 'You're saying that you had nothing to do with it?' 'Exactly,' Quinn said."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 11, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "'I feel horrible....' She mentioned as she slid the rest of herself under the covers to put on the remainder of the clothes given to her, 'What's with these bandages?' She said coming out of the blankets and stumbling to her feet. 'You'd feel even more horrible if I had not stopped you last night.' Barch moved to the chair near the cell and sat down, yawning, 'After all, you almost killed your family.'" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Something Something Slam (Match 1), by TheExcellentS (parts 1 and 2): "Barch: '2011 was the biggest year in LFC history, O'Neill, and 2012 looks to be even bigger! We have a hell of a show right in front of us, and I can hardly wait to get started!' O'Neill: 'Seven matches are lined up for tonight's card, with five LFC championships to be fought for in them. Let's go through the card. Next to our entrance stage, you see our specially-built replica Western saloon all set up. In just a few moments, that will be a hive of flying chairs, broken glass and spilled beer as thirty LFC fighters compete for $10,000 cash in our first ever Bar Room Brawl.'" (Part 2)


• To Annoy a Mockingbird, Chapter 4, by BF110C4 (parts 1 and 2): "'Do you know what time it is? ...the police, yes, yes I’m Angela Li... Yes, ‘alt.lawndale.com’ is a cybercafé belonging to Lawndale High School... break in... anybody hurt... thank goodness... All of them! What a disaster... I’ll make a statement in the morning... yes, we are insured... can you? ... Ok, thank you.' It had worked like a charm, just like her associate had predicted. Now the claim adjuster would never learn that the computers of the cybercafé were more outdated that the receipt she summited to the insurance company after her budget for impact resistant windows was denied by the PTA. Didn’t they knew what kind of people was out there?" (Part 2)


• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "And then Andrew trailed off as Jake Morgendorffer ran across the lawn, a leather gimp mask on his head. 'DARIA! EMERGENCY! HOW LONG DO INTESTINES TAKE?!'"


• We're Going to the Bank? (Iron Chef: How did we get here? (Round 2:FIGHT)), by Fhujeth_x (part ): "'Drive faster, Mr. Griffin.' Trent held Jane's glue gun to his head, 'Or you know what I'll do...' Then inspiration started, 'But I'll give you a clue...' He continued, 'I'll stick onto you... A football player or two.'"


• Wheels of Fire (Iron Chef: How did we get here? (Round 2:FIGHT)), by BrownEyedBagel (parts 1 and 2): "Tom’s gripped the wheel as his knuckles went white with desire. Trent hummed to himself as many dirty thoughts flooded his mind. Jamie didn’t quite understand what was going on, but he didn’t care. He was just stoked to be along for the ride. They had pulled off the perfect crime without any hitches, and some unexpected rewards waiting for them." (Part 2)

I Guess Someone Finally Took the Little Rubber Thing off the Bottom!

Today is Plant a Flower Day, although I think the more traditional place is in the ground rather than in the side of a crutch. I guess I shouldn't knock it if it works, though.

Sadly, today is also the third anniversary of the death of Guy "Decelaraptor" Payne, who was a prominent member of fandom as well as the author of a large number of hilarious fanfics. You will always be missed, 'Raptor. Rest in peace.

Lastly, it was on this day in 2001 that the episode "Camp Fear" first aired. We met Amelia, who would spark fandom debates for years to come, and learned that where Quinn is concerned, some things never change.

Fandom News!

• Share your favorite quotes in MartinUK's Quote of the Day thread.


• Discuss the differences between bullies in stories vs. real life.


• Basketball fans can talk about March Madness in a new thread.


• Is LinkedIn useful? Share your thoughts and experiences.


• Deref is curious about US democracy.


• "How much would you pay for the Universe?" RLobinske posted an interesting video in Deep Thoughts.


• ThanatosRW started a new interactive fandom activity: Leaving the Fandom.


• Check out the definitive list of cliched dialogue, shared by Roentgen.


• BrownEyedBagel posted a new Iron Chef: How did we get here? (Round 2:FIGHT).

Kevin Appleseed, QB of Planting Apple Trees!

Happy Johnny Appleseed Day! Or at least one of two Johnny Appleseed Days. One holiday could never be enough for Kevin, I'm sure.

I hope you all remembered to set your clocks ahead an hour for Daylight Saving Time--if you live in an area that observes it, anyway. All it really means to me is that, once again, I lose an hour that could have been spent sleeping. Here's counting down the days until Fall Back!

Fanfic Update!

• After the Disaster 2 :: Esteemers, by Fhujeth_x (part 1): "Tiffany was running behind again. She was walking as fast as she could towards Lawndale High but her speed was nothing compared to the tardiness she was about to endure. She didn't like being late. Although she was somehow able to get excused from tardiness, she wanted to be like all the other students, well, better looking than the rest, but you know what she meant."


• And Then it Happened :: Chapter Two, by Fhujeth_x (part 2): "Komotose began to laugh, looking at Stacy in confusion and then glee, 'I like your pride and whatever.' She said, walking closer to the pig tailed girl, 'Slay a dragon and I'll let you keep it, then... Till you die or whatever... and if you can't slay the dragon, I get your soul and stuff.' She continued, 'No backing out though, you already said you wanted it so...'"


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 7), by oni (COMPLETE!): "Sandi wandered into the dining room and saw her mother there, sitting along with a drink in her hand. It seems that Martini’s were the drink of the hour. Linda looked up at her daughter as soon as she had come into the kitchen. The mother’s face lacked any kind of emotion and looking at her daughter’s face, it was just as emotionless as hers. Keeping a calm even tone, Linda said, 'Well, sit down.'"


• The Battle for Scarlett (IC: There can only be ONE.....), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): "'Roger Taylor and John Hobbs,' a voice announced from a booth situated above one end of the bleachers. 'Both of you are in competition for the hand of Scarlett Hawkins. There is only one way to settle this competition. There can be only one. You must fight to the death. The last one standing will win the young woman’s hand.'"


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 10 and 11): "Gibson: 'Okay, break’s over, you know what to do.' Mack: 'Coach, Darth Talon has introduced a new tactic I think we should fully adopt.' Gibson: 'Really?' Mack: turns to the football team 'Run it.'" (Part 11)


• Daria Dots Her Is, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Daria, I'd like to talk to you about a number of bizarre typos in your paper.' 'I don't think you can call them typos if I wrote it out by hand,' Daria pointed out. Mr. O'Neill nervously chuckled and pressed on. 'Daria, I think the problem is that you're not crossing your Ts.' A terrified look suddenly showed up on Daria's face. 'I...I can't!'"


• A Distant Lawndale, by Arena del Sur (part 6): "–Daria, are you feeling ok? –said Jane, worried. –Are you kidding? This is so baroque. What the hell, this is so renaissance. Oh, if only you were here, Jane. I totally forgot that I've never smoked anything in my life and that I was only 17. And had the lungs of a non-smoker 17 years old girl, too. I got stoned immediately."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 2a): "'You don’t have to actually walk with me, Dylan. Actually, you should get a bit further ahead. That way, I can still keep an eye on you, but we’re not being seen actually together.' 'I don’t want to be together with you, Kris. Don’t you get that yet? Origin point, home. Same. Destination point, school. Same. Shortest route? Same. If you can’t follow that, I don’t know how you hope to pass mathematics.'"


• John Lane 52: From the Last Step to the First, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "With everything packed and ready to go downstairs, John's room looked and felt empty as he prepared for bed. Beyond a change of clothes and an overnight bag, the only things left in his room were those slated to stay behind. Or, stay behind until they could be moved to Boston. John turned out the light and climbed into bed. Thinking back over the last three years, John looked around the moonlit room. Things have really changed since that first day I saw Daria. And overall, I have to think that it has been a change for the better."


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie (Chapter 6), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 7): "When they got back to the Morgendorffer’s house, another car was parked at the kerb. 'My Mom’s here!' Stacy said. 'Is that bad?' Daria asked. 'I just wasn’t expecting it is all,' Stacy said, slightly panicked. 'There may be something there,' Daria thought. She didn’t want to get involved, but she didn’t want to ignore it either. She could use Stacy’s help in the genie/emerald situation."


• Memory Lane, by echopapa (part 3): "Jane was dumbfounded. The room looked exactly the way it was when she was in high school. 'I hope this meets with your satisfaction, this room seemed to feature prominently in your memories. Bruce, we can enter now.' Suddenly, a metal arch with a double door appeared along one of the walls, replacing the window. The doors slid apart with a rumble and a whine, and two men entered the room."



• The Milk Run, by oni (COMPLETE!): "'Hey kiddo,' he exclaimed in a cheerful mood. 'You want go with your old dad to the store for some milk?' She was about to open her mouth and say ‘no thanks’, but another voice inside her said ‘why not?’ Thinking further, she remembered that her sister and the rest of the fashion club were having their Blushathon. That decided it. 'Sure dad, I’ll go with you to the store.'"


• My Night At Daria DeMartino's (IC: DeMartino and Jake swapped), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Crap its stuck Tom thought as he struggled to get the door open. He breathed a sigh of relief when the door finally moved. His relief was short lived when a hand slamed it back shut after opening less then an inch. 'Hello Tom.' Anthony growled."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 10, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "A loud crash, as if the tool shed had collapsed was heard from inside the house. It was a loud noise, kind of a shocker, really. All four people inside the house looked in the direction of the backyard as the arguments stopped and confusion glanced over them. "Dammit Tom." Linda glared at her husband, 'I told you before that we should have had that tool shed torn down.'" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Thanksgiving with the Griffins, by Fhujeth_x (parts 1 and 2): "Shuddering at the thought of her Uncle's body odor, Sandi picked up the perfume and took a deep breath, preparing to embark in the horribleness that was; Thanksgiving with the Griffins." (Part 2)


• To Annoy a Mockingbird. Chapter 03, by BF110C4 (parts 2 and 3): "Daria herself was just half listening the tour itself, she was still angry with the way her parents ignored her research she did of the different universities, both regional and national, and her plans for Vance. For the first time in years she had been pouring actual effort in a school related issue and the end result was an united front between her father, her sister and her mother against her wishes." (Part 3)


• The Wrath Universe Ch. 1 New Life, Old Life, by ST91 (parts 4 and 5): "'Well, to be honest we have something similar at Lawndale High.' 'What ?! Really ?!' 'Yes, but don’t worry. I’ve got something different in mind for you.' 'You want to go directly to brainwashing ?' joked Daria." (Part 5)


• Unnamed story (IRON CHEF: "...And that's how your dad and I got together."), by misericordia (COMPLETE!): "Jake squeezed Daria's hand. 'I can't tell you much it means to me that you came here tonight, Daria.' Daria squeezed back. 'Knock'em dead, Big Jake.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Standing on the sidewalk of a London street, Daria checked the address on her smartphone and looked back up at the office building. 'This is the place.' Going inside, she thought, Public relations. I never pictured myself going into public relations. At least I'm working for a charity and not some sleazy corporation. And, I get to live in London. I have to admit that is a bonus."



• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Have you ever done that hot yoga?' Sandi asked. 'I tried it this weekend. There's a place at Cranberry Commons where you do yoga in a room heated to 130 degrees. It's great.' 'That's what I hear,' Quinn said. 'But you have to drink lots of women,' Stacy said. 'I mean water! I mean drink lots of water!'"


• Vealed With a Kick (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria walked up to the door of Kevin's house, a tray of cookies in her hand. She was thinking about how Kevin would be reduced to jelly by her revenge plan, and then began thinking about peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. She rang the buzzer and put on her biggest, scariest grin."


• What is Fashion?, by Smijey (part 1): "The other Fashion Clubbers crowded around their fallen leader. 'Sandi, are you okay?' Quinn asked. a concerned look on her face. Cautiously, Sandi nodded. 'I think so. Ohhh, my head hurts.' A worried look crossed Stacy's face. 'You don't have amnesia, do you, Sandi?' Sandi rolled her eyes. 'No, Stacy, don't be ridiculous. I'm still Sandi Griffin, President of the...' A frown graced Sandi's face. 'I'm President of the...Club? It's some sort of club.'"


• The Yowling, by misericordia (COMPLETE!): "Her first attacker span her around, almost knocking her off feet. Britanny grabbed a tree branch for support, then snapped it off to use as a weapon. Her blood surged fiercely, almost joyfully. If she couldn't run, she could still fight - and that was something she knew how to do. She backed against a tree and yelled wildly. 'Come and get me! Come and get me, you b-'" (Part 2) (Part 3)

Happy Birthday, Fashion Club Barbie!

On this day in 1959, the first Barbie was launched on an unsuspecting public. It's hard to say who likely has the bigger wardrobe between Quinn and the doll she's impersonating, but let's hope Quinn is able to hold down a single job better than Barbie is.

Today is also the anniversary of the first airing of the episode "I Don't," in which we got to meet Aunt Amy, get a deeper perspective on Helen's family issues, and see a handful of truly irritating characters--among them the pervy minister, the caustic dress shop employee, and the oh-so-delightful Brian Danielson.

Fandom News!

• What are your views on the relationship between slash fiction and power imbalances? Share them in the thread!


• Is Quinn a psychopath? Check out ThanatosRW's thoughts on the subject.


• How well do you embrace cultural differences? Why do you think others don't or can't?


• Daria is now showing on Liquid Television! See the link in the thread for more information.


• Three new Iron Chefs have been posted: tafka's Gifted, Wouter's Inner Daria, and CR85747's Relate the Griffins to the Family Guy family.

Heh Heh Heh...Like, Cool!

Today is the 19th anniversary of the premiere of the original series of Beavis and Butt-head. Whether or not you're a fan of the show, it deserves mention at the very least because it's the TV show that gave us Daria. So...happy anniversary, butt munches!

Fanfic Update!

• And Then it Happened :: Chapter Two, by Fhujeth_x (part 1): "Stacy paused, 'What's that smell? Where are we?' She glanced around, a fallen knight's armor laying helplessly on the ground, sword still poised in his gauntlet, 'Is he dead?' Pointing to the rusted metal she peered closer, hearing a scratching sound inside of it. She moved in closer. Closer."


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 7), by oni (part 3): "Quinn thought for a moment and then said, 'Stacy there is something I got to know. I don’t know if she has talked to about this, but...,' she drew a breath and continued, 'is the only reason Sandi started the club in the first place was because of the pressure her mom put on her?' Forming a sad smile, Stacy replied, 'She didn’t talk to me directly about it, but with all the pieces of information she did share with me about her mother, I would have to say yes.' Sighing, she continued, 'For a more accurate answer, you’d have to ask her yourself.'"


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 8 and 9): "Darth Talon: 'I want to participate in an actual sport. This is not a sport, this is fluffy-' random noise, mouth and lekku blurred. Morris: 'What’s-' random noise ,mouth blurred. Darth Talon: 'Give me something worthy of my talents.' Morris: 'What am I a pimp?' Darth Talon: dashes at Morris accelerating at a rate that don’t make sense to anyone schooled in Newtonian physics, punches Morris in the abdomen. Morris: sinks to the ground, going foetal, too out of breath to say anything." (Part 9)


• Cynicspace (Iron Chef: Inner Daria), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "There was a lull in the conversation as Daria and Jane were walking to school. Not unusual. What was unusual, however, was Jane giving Daria a mischievous smirk before grabbing her forcefully by the wrist and yanking her behind a tall hedge next to the sidewalk for some privacy. 'Jane, what --' Daria was cut off as Jane thrust her tongue into her friend's mouth. Daria's inner selves did not like this at all."


• Daria DeMartino Part One: Esteemers with the DeMartinos, by Reven384 (part 1): "'Okay Dora what do you see,' the doctor said. 'It’s Daria you F***ing quack. Get it right if you want to talk with me,' Daria said her eye bulging. 'I’ll have to ask you to watch your language. Please tell me what you see Daria,' the doctor said flinching at the girl’s rage."


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 31): "'No, anything else would be too... uh oh.' Said Daria. 'What?' asked Tilly. 'Here comes your friend.' Said Jane, looking up. Tilly scrunched down, trying to hide, but it was a futile effort. Tristan came over to the table where the girls were sitting. 'Mind if I join you?'"


• Esteem of Anger (IC: DeMartino and Jake swapped), by januense: "'NO BUTS!! We're at school! Now go and try to PAY ATTENTION TO THE LESSONS ! I don't want to see you fooling around with all BRAINLESS HORMONE DRIVEN guys in this school hunting for DATES!' He stops the the car in front of LHS and Quinn rushes out of the car on the verge of tears. She reaches the school front door almost running, not paying attention at people around her. During the whole verbal fight a figure was sitting, quiet and almost forgotten in the rear side of the car. 'Dad ... ' she quietly spokes 'maybe your words were too harsh, even for Quinn ...'"


• A Knight in Shining Glasses (IRON CHEF: "...And that's how your dad and I got together."), by Waylander (COMPLETE!): "'You know, it's not in my rulebook to hit a chick, but you are asking for it, Miss Smart Mouth.' Daria waited, expecting Tommy Sherman to make a first move so she could use ultra-strength pepper spray and claim self-defense afterwards. 'Excuse me. I don't think it's very gentlemanly of you,' Tommy turned in surprise and saw the geekiest-looking geek he ever saw. 'Threatening women is wrong.'"


• Once More, With Daria, by misericordia (COMPLETE!): "Half an hour later. 'We had sex.' 'Well, yes, Dar. That's what we do. That, crack wise, eat junk food, and save the world from vampires. Well, mostly from vampires.'"


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 9, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "There she stood, in front of several different types of chains and ropes, part of her screaming to get out of the store now, that this was stupid, degrading, wrong... the other part of her pleading to do the right thing and find Ms. Barch at school and beg for help before it was too late. No, she had dignity, and she wanted to remain a queen of her own domain." (Part 2.5) (Part 3) (Part 4)


• To Annoy a Mockingbird, by BF110C4 (parts 2 and 3): "'So... where you girls been all our lives?' Bobby Bighead on the other hand had his brown hair in a neat cut. 'Waiting here for you. We were born in this room, we grew up in this room, and we thought we would die here... alone. But now you've arrived, and our lives can truly begin.' Betraying her sarcastic remark was one of her half smiles. 'She likes you.' In Daria’s mind one word came to mind. 'Showtime'"(Part 3)


• Unnamed story (IC: DeMartino and Jake swapped), by Waylander (COMPLETE!): "Anthony DeMartino was fuming, 'Stupid incompetent SHRINK! And what's WRONG if my DAUGHTER likes to read? What's wrong with the WORLD if the kids with functioning BRAIN are treated like LEPERS!'"


• Unnamed story (IRON CHEF: "...And that's how your dad and I got together."), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'How your dad and I met? Well we met a long time ago; in high school.' Daria said fixing her glasses. 'But I suppose you mean how we got together.' She thought back. 'About eighteen years ago I was on a trip to Boston visiting an old pal of mine.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "'I had won the Twisted Metal contest, and looking back, I still can't imagine how. I never was much of a fighter. I could still hear the echoes of the dying, the explosions of the other cars, I just couldn't focus. I look back at the crater that used to be Lawndale. I could have sworn that I saw my sister Helen there as well...I wonder what she would have wished for...'"


• Unnamed story (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Ms. Li's voice, a desperate edge in it, came on over the PA. 'Everyone out in the halls for soda. NOW!'"


• The Wrath Universe Ch. 1 New Life, Old Life, by ST91 (part 3): "'But now, please, could you tell me why you were visited by a psychologist?' 'You have no intention of giving up, right?' 'Exact.' 'Ok. Well. As I have said it's not anything important. When I was six, I was examined by the school psychologist as to why I did not socialize with other children.' 'And why didn't you socialize?' Oh well, now we are dancing so I might as well dance.... 'Because I hated the other children.'"

The Dinner of Champions!

It's National Frozen Food Day! At the Morgendorffer house, of course, every day is National Frozen Food Day, but you can certainly celebrate the holiday with a nice square of processed lasagna if you want. Unless you'd rather not, in which case I don't blame you.

Fandom News!

• How much does it suck to be single? Post your experiences and opinions in the thread.


• Brother Grimace wants to know, what does your name mean?


• Three new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: Walter Kovacs's DeMartino and Jake swapped, Erin M.'s Back to School Again, and ThanatosRW's Sherman/Thompson switch.


• thatLONERchick invites fan artists to check out her new Deviant Art group.

Is This What You'd Call Letting Out the "You-ness Inside"?

Today is Multiple Personality Day, so go right ahead and be as many people as you want to be. Unfortunately for Daria, all of her personalities are just as cynical and unsociable as she is, so none of them are on speaking terms at the moment.

This is also the anniversary of the original air date of the episode "Fat Like Me" in 2001, in which Sandi's own personality stayed much the same while her outer self expanded by at least (gasp) two dress sizes!

Fanfic Update!

• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 1: Esteem Rising, by RX-87 (part 4): "QUINN: There you go again. Why do you have to be so negative all the time? The Centennial's coming, things are great in the colonies, Earth's environment's getting better and people are so happy. Why not you? DARIA: I guess I'm just ahead of the times."


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 7), by oni (part 2): "'We could overhear the conversation you had over the phone with my mom,' Sandi said while her girlfriend was comforting her. Stacy knew Sandi had a troubled home life, but only after over hearing Helen talk to Linda about Sandi’s transition from middle school to high school, did the she fully understand how bad her mother screwed her daughter up. Upon knowing this, Stacy tightened her grip with Sandi’s hands, interlacing the fingers."


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 6 and 7): "Darth Maladi: Nods 'Well, your world has an interesting mix of cultures, that’s for sure. For the most part, your level of technology should have been the result of discoveries that thoroughly disprove the religious mythologies that tend to arise prior to them and therefore make everyone in that culture highly sceptical of religious mythologies, I mean, what’s going on here?'" (Part 7)


• Dylan, by J-D (part 1c): "As he stepped up to the podium with his certificate in hand, there was a scattering of applause—and Paper-Pellet Boy, who was sitting in the centre of the front row, began a fusillade of ear-splitting whistles and thunderous drumming of his feet, embarrassing the rest of the audience almost as much as he embarrassed Dylan, so that they all fell silent. Desperately, Dylan looked around the hall in every other direction—and saw one person who definitely couldn’t be taught anything about self-esteem."


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 1): "Quinn was outnumbered by half the Dirty Decade with only Burnout as her backup, and Burnout just smoked a fat one a minute ago so she’d soon have no backup, but she met their eyes and showed no fear. 'Suck your turf, I go where I want! Cos that’s how I roll!' 'Yo, we ‘bout to roll you outta dis world,' said Big Dee, the whitest guy who ever whited, before he fall over groaning because Hellion Wheels had kicked him in the crotch from behind."


• Helen at Law (Iron Chef: Helen is made Partner), by DIsaac (part 1): "'Helen should have been partner for a long time now. That women has more drive then any lawyer I have ever seen in my career but Davis with no ball having self and those damn Schrecters who could handle having a women out doing them voted down that partnership deal. I say damn them! That is why I've asked you here gentlemen.' Jim continued."


• Into the Black, Into the Blue (Chapter 1), by Lord Yellowtail (part 4): "'It’s all backwards,' Bright Eyes murmured, almost fearfully. 'Their moon is in the right place, but the sun ...' She stared off into the distance, looking at a golden-white sphere. 'Is it moving around the sun?' Luna sighed, nuzzling her little friend slightly. 'Fear not. I should have prepared you for this. What you see is in fact the natural order of things: moons orbit planets, planets orbit their stars, and stars orbit the galactic core.'"


• The Inviteation (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Brittany nervously eyed the refreshments table, where Daria was gorging herself on all the food and drink she and Kevin had set out before the party. She had scared all the other guests off from partaking of the food, and now she was worried that her party would be a flop if things continued on their course. So, screwing up her courage, she cautiously approached Daria."


• Irony Maiden 00, by BF110C4 (part 1): "Daria always loved to wake up to the smell of strong fresh coffee, an habit that she had developed during her years at the M.I.T. and then reinforced during her post grade at Raft. Knowing this Amy had left one cup ready at the coffeemaker inside her room/library in the Penthouse of the Stark Industries Tower, and apparently already disposed of Robert."


• John Lane 52: From the Last Step to the First, by RLobinske (part 12): "Behind the heavy, ornate desk sat a large man wearing an impeccable, imported suit. 'Have a seat, Helen,' he said. When she was seated, Jim Vitale added, 'And please, call me Jim.' Caught off-guard, Helen said, 'Oh, yes, of course. Jim.' 'Excellent.' 'What can I do for you today?' Jim said, 'Nothing. Today is about what we are going to do for you.'"


• A Mothers Love, by ash_blackfire (part 9): "Trent’s thoughts were stopped as he heard a slam of the front door with a bellowing 'TRRREEENNNTT!!!' About three seconds later the basement door came flying open with Jane running down the stairs eyes wide and frantic as she rushed up to him. 'How many sisters do you have?!' Jane said with eyes showing seriousness he had never seen before."


• Pie Night at Daria's (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'You know, maybe we are rushing into this,' Daria finally concluded. 'Forget I brought it up.' She and Tom had been discussing going to the 'next level' in their relationship, and while she had at first decided to go through with it, had been thrown back into full-on Reluctance Mode after finding Tom carried a condom around in his wallet, of all places."


• Quinn's Wish (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn looked around bloody and satisfied. She'd survived this competition and now it was time for her to get her wish. She would finally be the most popular person on the planet. Everyone would love her."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 8, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "Slipping into her usual clothes, Sandi Griffin sighed and picked up her cell phone, sliding through the numbers until she reached that of her Science Teacher. Although she really, truly didn't want to talk to her teacher - she had no one else to talk to and she really, really needed some advice."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 9, by Fhujeth_x (part 1): "Part of her really regretted not accepting the aid of Ms. Barch. Most of her regretted it actually. Whatever madness came over her to be in charge of her own situation made her more and more panicked at every thought. She wasn't ready for this. She wasn't ready to deal with the situation or responsibility of turning into a giant uncontrollable beast capable of tearing apart a human male... [let alone a really nice dress from Cashmans]."


• Substitute (Iron Chef - Goddess of Sarcasm), by januense (COMPLETE!): "'Twisted ... really, really twisted ... I'm so proud of you. Can I take some pictures if the test goes well?' 'Be my guest. By the way, talking about twisted things... this is the letter that came with the parcel. This IS twisted and really strange....'"


• To Annoy a Mockingbird, by BF110C4 (part 1): "'It means that Miss Manson is someone who can’t remember my first name and distinguish sarcasm from anguish. It is no wonder I have low esteem for everyone else.' At this point while getting her stenographer notebook out of her green jacket and tearing a couple of pages from it, Daria answer her mother’s statement. Throwing a last remark while slamming the pages on the table Daria finally leaves the room. 'Why don’t you ask your assistant to translate this for you, and then ask me who to blame for my troubles, mom?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "'I had won the Twisted Metal Contest, and all it cost me were two of my best friends. We had been through a lot togeather, and what we went though in the tournament said a lot about our friendship. After all the other drivers were dead, we went to see Calypso about our prize....'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "She had won finally after all the death and destruction she was victorious. Now she could claim her prize as the youngest winner in Twisted Metal History. Now Brittney would have her prize she stood before Calypso on his throne of car parts ready to make her wish."


• Unwanted (Iron Chef: Psycho Therapy), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn ran without letting them know she'd overheard the conversation. Mom thought there was something wrong with her. It didn't come as any big surprise. She'd always known Daria was the favorite. Daria was the smart one. Daria was the clever one. All she had was looks. She'd all but admitted it to Daria when she'd been stupid enough to let Daria follow her around with a video camera. She'd already known, so why did it hurt so much to hear it."


• We Only Hurt the Ones We Love (IC Runaway Daria), by deneich (part 8): "Seeing Quinn's eyes, and the myriad of battling emotions within, shock, hurt, anger and – in slowly growing measure – relief, compelled me to action; setting the knife on the counter then rounding the breakfast nook separating us, I went to my Sister. Carefully, reassuringly, I placed my hands on Quinn's shoulders and pulled her close 'I've missed you, can you forgive me for leaving?'"


• The Wrath Universe Ch. 1 New Life, Old Life, by ST91 (part 2): "'Ms. Mason don’t listen to her; she says this phrase every time she goes to a psychologist.' 'Daria have you been visited on other occasions?' asked a worried Ms Manson. 'Well...' started to say Daria. 'Yes she was. And a lot of times. She’s like suicidal or something.' 'I’M NOT SUICIDAL.' shouted a very angry Daria snapping from the chair."


• X-men: Daria’s Evolution, by Reven384 (part 6): "'We can’t overlook things any more. I was content to be left alone but they wouldn’t leave our family along,' Amanda said, 'So now we must fight. Xavier doesn’t want to acknowledge that there is a war going on. We are the victims here and we have a right to defend ourselves using any means necessary.' 'At what cost,' Trent said leaving but not before hearing Mystique state, 'If we do nothing next time your sister may actually die.'"

A Ton of Anniversaries on Line One!

Happy birthday to the late Alexander Graham Bell, born on this day in 1847. Thanks to him, Helen and Quinn are both free to talk on the phone until their ears grow over the receiver. And...that's a good thing, right?

Today is also a triple anniversary for Daria episodes, as "Esteemsters," "The Old and the Beautiful," and "Antisocial Climbers" all aired on this day in 1997, 1999, and 2000, respectively. That also means that today is the 15th anniversary of the birth of the show Daria itself! Woo hoo! Party down, everyone!

But try to keep it quiet--Quinn and Helen are on the phone.

Fandom News!

• Posters discuss flooding in New South Wales and Victoria.


• The Virtual Dariacon is happening today! Join in if you can, and there will be a special event at 5:00 PM EST!


• Watch and discuss two new trailers posted in Weapons of Mass Distraction: The Avengers and Frankenweenie.


• neonhomer is looking for a new avatar and would like help from fan artists.


• Erin M. posted a new video: Mr. DeMartino Discusses "Ocean's 11" (1960)


• TheExcellentS continues to update the list of 2012 Daria Fanfiction - The Finished Stories. Thanks, TES!

Appreciation? Yeah, Right!

Today is both Employee Appreciation Day and National Salesperson Day, but no matter how many holidays you stack up, poor Theresa still does not get paid enough to deal with the Fashion Club's constant demands. Maybe one of these days she and Marianne could get together for drinks and decide who has the worst job.

This is also the anniversary of the original air date of "Quinn the Brain" in 1998. I'll always wonder what might have happened if, instead of quashing her sister's attempt to use her mind, Daria had encouraged her to go even further and move past the superficial. Then again, I suspect it would have ended with the Morgendorffer sisters crushing the entire world under their heels, so maybe it's best that it worked out the way it did.

Fanfic Update!

• A Distant Lawndale, by Arena del Sur (part 5): "And so, step by step, things were changing around me. The way things happened began to move away from what had been... A little more day after day, which was easy for me to see... What was I going to become? If my past was changing, the future could be different. That idea was freaking me out."


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 7), by oni (part 1): "''Do you know where your daughter is right now?' With venom in her voice, Linda replied, 'I don’t know Helen, in her room?' Anger bellowed out of Helen’s voice as she said, 'She’s over here scared out of her mind Linda!'"


• Bleeding Red (Angst Off!, Part 3), by mmmdraco (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, Danny. 'Sup?' Jesse scratched his head and blinked to make his little brother come into focus from messy hair to Mystik Spiral t-shirt to Doc Martens. 'You've got to get me over to Link's house as fast as you can. He said he was going to slit his wrists!' 'Um, I can't. No wheels. Besides, I'm sure he doesn't mean it.' Jesse yawned. 'Think I'll get a little more sleep.' He lay back down and shut his eyes."


• Does This Make Me Look Fat (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "'I...want....my....prizee,' Tiffany drawled out in her slow way of talking. 'So you want to be the skinniest member of the fashion club,' Calypso said, 'That's easy enough.'"


• The House of Cards, by Doggieboy (part 8): "Conrad Hawkins snorted and sighed as he looked up at his daughter. 'Baby girl, did you really think that you were going on the hunt for John - with Dr. Ryan’s help - but without myself or your mother knowing anything about it? Or even allowing it?' The redheaded teen then turned on her father. 'I lost him once and I will not lose him again! The only reasons I haven’t told either of you two is because I’m afraid that you’d try to stop me...or attempt to kill him again. After all, you did try to blow his head off.'"


• I Donut (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Amy, how delightful,' Rita lied. 'I thought you weren't coming.' 'I wasn't, but then I remembered weddings have cake, so I decided to put aside years of bitterness and resentment. All for delicious, delicious cake.' Daria began to salivate at the reminder of the cakey future."


• (i thought) We Were Friends Until Yesterday (Angst Off!, Part 3), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'Brittany’s just a pain; I only hang out with her because I feel sorry for her.' Those were the exact words she heard. Perhaps sarcasm; no, those where the true feelings spoken in confidence."


• Melody Powers and the Crystal Boutique (Iron Chef: To kill a Mockingbird), by BF110C4 (COMPLETE!): "To see Daria on a public setting was a weird occurrence by itself, the fact that it was a school related activity make it even weirder, but what make such an appearance a truly bizarre even worthy of an special episode of Sick, Sad World was the sight of the small writer standing on the stage. On her hand was her latest story, a legal thriller, just without the legal part, and with mindless violence thrown in for fun, perfect for teens with a short attention span."


• Ms. Barch's Revenge and Anthony's Dream (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "'So you want to give your ex what he deserves,' Calypso said. 'That man will pay and so will his little hussy!' Barch said. 'But in exchange you must give up your current man,' Calypso said holding a picture of Timothy O'neil."


• Relaxation (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Jodie was exhausted but she'd won, 'Calypso I demand my prize!' 'You wish for a life where you don't have so much stress on your plate. You want to rest and relax,' Calypso said smiling ominously, 'There is only one way that can happen.'"


• Rude Awakening Ep.10: Sandi vs The EPT, by DIsaac (part 4): "UPCHUCK: Good. You must be desperate if you're asking me for help? BRITTANY: Charles, you're my only hope here to talk with him. (Brittany steps forward) UPCHUCK: Stop or I’ll spray."


• Sandi's Beauty (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "'So you wish for beauty that will never tarnish or be surpassed,' Calypso said, 'But you should be wary. Such beauty comes at a price.'"


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 8, by Fhujeth_x (parts 1 - 3): "Remembering back to her books she remembered something about werewolves locking themselves up on a full moon, to prevent them from doing harm unto others. Caged like a filthy animal in a dirty trap, being forced to remain stuck until daylight. 'Like Hell I will.'" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Twisted Metal "The Lawndale Edition" Ending Two (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "Stacy stood in front of Calypso; she was the winner and she was ready to claim her prize; after all that blood and all the fear she could have anything...Except she wasn’t sure what she wanted..."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria Inspired by Different Movies), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "'My company offers state of the art artificial organ technology with payment plans for every budget, Mr. Morgendorffer,' the Terry Perry Barlow said to Jake as he lay in the cardiac unit of Cedars of Lawndale. 'I don't know, Terry,' Jake said warily as he looked over the contract that he had been given. 'The doctor said that there was only a little minor damage and that it would heal over time.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Goddess of Sarcasm), by Angelinhel (COMPLETE!): "Daria just blinked. She had the oddest sense of deja-vu, but other than in a dream she couldn't possibly imagine where she would have encountered a similar situation. What she could only describe to herself as some sort of angel was standing at the foot of her bed, though her enormous wings were a glossy gunmetal grey instead of white. Odder still, she was wearing what were clearly an old pair of jeans and a rather nondescript t-shirt."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: I Met Myself on the Way to the Town Square), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "I still have nightmares about that goddamn thing's teeth. They weren't human. I swear, they stretched all the way out past where its jaws should have ended. Much as it pains me to admit it, I screamed and ran out of there."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Psycho Therapy), by januense (COMPLETE!): "'WHAT? Ehr ... ehm. Quinn ... I know that some things I said can appear a little sour to you but I swear I was only concerned about you a...' 'MOM!! There's no need to be sorry ... I mean ... I'm the wrong one.' 'Oh ... Quinn ... can you ... elaborate ?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by ThanatosRW (COMPLETE!): "'So Kevin, you wanna be in the NFL, right? Your wish is granted'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by ThanatosRW (COMPLETE!): "I had won the Twisted Metal tournament. It was kinda fun, might do it again sometime. More importantly, Calypso had fulfilled his end of the bargain. As I walked into the abandoned building, I could not stop myself from giggling at the thought of seeing her again."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "The monster truck skidded to a stop infront of Calypsos throne of broken car parts. Beavis and Butthead stumbled out plastered and laughing. 'Explosions are cool!' Butthead laughed"


• Upchuck's Harem (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "'Calypso I demand my wish,' Charles said with barely contained glee. 'You're desire is for a harem of girls who will do anything you ask without question,' Calypso said. 'Yes!' Charles exclaimed."


• Wish Endings (Collected responses to Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "'I had won the Twisted Metal competition. I had just barely got out of it alive, but my resolve was never stronger. I had to get my wish. Nothing mattered except the future I had in mind. The Sloans always get what they want, one way or another. I was determined to keep the family tradition going....'"


• The Wrath Universe Ch. 1 New Life, Old Life, by ST91 (part 1): "'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town... especially for you, Daria, right?' said Jake Morgendorffer towards his eldest daughter while driving his blue Lexus. Especially for you, Daria, right? Of course because I’m only a socially retarded Quinn, right, Dad?"