Class, you may have noticed I'm not your usual blogger. The Angst Guy, our hard-working and much-revered regular host, is unfortunately busy with that pesky Real Life thing I've heard so much about. We'll try to keep things afloat in the meantime, okay?
Please promise you won't tell TAG
For now, here's a great big list of the new fanfic that's been posted on the PPMB in the past week and a half!
Ace attorney: Turnabout Teacher's Pet, by LSauchelli (part 17): "Jane paced around the lobby, checking her spiky hair every two minutes in a tiny pocket mirror and taking deep breaths. Why wouldn’t anyone let her see Barch?"
Another normal day in Lawndale, by JPAGC (part 5): "The girl hold his stare for a moment before lowering hers, gnashing her teeth and scribbling something on her notebook with unnecessary force. O'Neill stopped staring at her and slowly returned to his desk, all the while addressing all students."
Anthony DeMartino Just Wants To Have Fun, by Smijey: "'"The Sick, Sad Book of Slaughters, Mysterious Maulings, and Deranged Decapitations". I got if off eBay for almost $200.' She traced her finger along the gruesome picture on the cover, which purported to be a cow post-alien mutilation."
Daria and the Chocolate Factory, by Smijey (part 1): "'Don't be absurd, Jane,' Daria said, tearing open the packaging. 'What are the odds that, of all the hundreds of millions of candy bars he must ship out every year, I'd get one...with...' Daria was interrupted as both she and Jane's eyes were fixated upon the Wonka bar. A golden glint had revealed itself underneath the wrapping."
Daria/Dorian 7: Motorcycles and Jocks Don't Mix, by LadieT (complete!): "The next thing Dorain and Jane knew, Brittany and Kevin were both standing up and yelling at each other. Dorian smirked as he listened to exchange. Oh great, now they are both trying to think. I hope the sprinkler system works in here cause the smoke should be hitting it at any moment."
Daria/Dorian 8: Love Rescue Me, by LadieT (Parts 1 and 2): "Jake spent the ride back to Lawndale with Dorian talking about school, football and mainly about Jane. Cringing in his seat, Dorian tried his best to block out the words coming from his dad's mouth. I wonder how fast death would come if I jumped out of the window while dad's doing seventy." (part 2)
Daria: Oversoul, by Trscroggs (complete!): "'Well, I can see the whole electromagnetic spectrum and other weird things like taste the color purple and smell thunder. Oh, and if I want to I can do that anyplace in the world without being there. If you gave me a moment I could tell you what color of underwear some random schoolgirl in Japan is wearing right now.'"
Daria: The Untold Story, by Ajar: "No, the pilot they should have shown you and that they should have mentioned so that you should have demanded is the dramatic animated drama Welcome To The Buzzdome. But copyrights be damned such a masterpiece will be - nay - must be shared with the world."
Day of the Yenta, by Smijey: "Jane laughed aloud. 'Oh Daria, I always loved your sharp wit, you know that? Do you really think I went through all the trouble acquiring rohypnol and dragging your fat ass down two flights of stairs just so you and Trent could be together forever?'"
The fiercest battles lie within, by VPrad: "Tom, with the face still red and breathing heavily, approached the book to examine it. He quickly saw that the book had a hinge on one side. He tilted the book and immediately one of the shelves opened like a door, showing a corridor behind the wall, like taken from a James Bond movie."
Free Radio Lawndale, by Ken Tremberth & Erin Mills (broadcasts 7-10): "How do you think the Israelis got started? Sitting in their little huts playing with ham radios, now they're terrorizing the world with nuclear bombs and planning holy wars. I say bomb them now and erase the problem before it's too late!"
THE GOON OF AUGUST, by Brian Taylor (complete!): "'What -- what are you doing, QB? Don't you know the Guild regulations? You can't just, like, shoot a mad scientist without giving him proper warning first. We have rules about -- '"
Hack the Planet.exe, by Brian Taylor and CharlesRB (parts 2 and 3): "Tour Guide Girl looked down her nose at Quinn sharply enough to cut. 'Now are you gonna leave me alone to finish my trade, or do I have to give you the kind of credit rating that makes Greece look like a sound business investment in comparison?'" (Part 3)
Import/Export, by Brian Taylor (part 3): "They'd been at the gin joint's owner, Frankie O'Reilly, for twenty minutes. His problem was an age-old story. He loved the ponies. The ponies didn't love him back. And now he was into the Lanellis for enough money to make a grown man weep."
Iron Cook: Targeted Commercials, by Roentgen: "All of the data collected about him - his preferences, his internet surfing, his shopping and vacation habits, and the cartoons he liked had all been dumped into a computer somewhere in Provo, Utah and after one computer hiccup, Sandi Griffin was extolling the pleasures of Southern Utah."
Jane Morgendorffer, by LadieT (parts 7 - 9): "Helen and Jake needed someone to watch the children while they were in court. Amy agreed with a touch of sadness in her voice. After the call ended, Amy hung her head and cried for hours." (part 8) (part 9)
Judge Daria, by Brian Taylor (Part 3): "Daria decided that this time -- just this time -- she was going to back away really, really quickly. Like, flat-out run. She was going to run all the way back to her father's Lexus, use the car phone to dial 911, and if it all turned out to be some kind of weird performance art routine to scare the shit out of Daria -- well -- she'd just do something awful to Jane's room with the Stickmata later to pay her back."
Lane & Morgendorffer, by LadieT: "'I can't help the fact that your lack of interest with personal interaction made you an ideal candidate for working with the dead, Daria. Douchebag Jackson was in a wreck and I need you at this crime scene yesterday Morgendorffer, so get your ass up and get here!'"
The Last A, by LadieT (complete!): "Kevin slid the test neatly into his Trapper Keeper and joined the others. His fourth grade year was on its way to being the best grade yet."
Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (prologue): "After an hour of looking at fashion websites (such as they were in ‘99) Sandi went out to her backyard. After a minute of observing her two brothers playing she noticed a glint in the grass. She went over and picked it up. It was an emerald. 'How did we not notice this before?' she asked herself."
Moving Pictures, by Brian Taylor (part 7): "'That's junior correspondent Teddy Olson, I'm Amy Barksdale, and this is Freaks, Creeps, and Phantasm's search' -- she pauses dramatically -- 'for Sasquatch.'"
A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (Part 16): "'Um, Daria?' Kevin said, after she referred to Ralph Waldo Emerson as a translationist, instead of a transcendentalist, for the third time. 'Is something the matter?'"
Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (parts 24 - 26): "'I'm in our room. Mom and Dad are next door, and they're...' Quinn let out a disgusted sound. 'Let's just say that I can hear them.'" (part 25) (part 26)
Scarlett and the Rescue Center, by Doggieboy (complete!): "Scarlett Hawkins sat in the cramped church bell tower and looked out over the surrounding village. The mob surrounding the church had grown overnight, but it wasn’t until the dawn when she could actually see by how much. The steady beat of hands on the building joined with the unearthly moans and the combined noises made her shiver."
They Always Come Back, by OverlordMikey (complete!): "Stacy stood alone on the school roof. She gazed onto the ground below. She could jump… no… that’s stupid. What was she thinking that for?"
Third Time’s the Charm, by thatLONERchick (complete!): "While Edward was busy switching from brooding to musing for a change of pace, Buffy produced a bottle of holy water and sighted on the vamp’s shellacked-baby-butt-smooth forehead."
Two Body Problem, by RLobinske (part 2): "Amy lifted the delicate chocolate treat from the box and took a bite. The high-cocoa chocolate melted, releasing an intense, but not overly sweet flavor. Amy's eyes opened and she said, 'It's not better than great sex, but it's as good as good sex.'"
Unnamed story (Flinging Fourth the New Ideas Thread), by Trscroggs: "The young lieutenant paced back and forth nervously in the briefing room of the hastily constructed underground bunker. Fears bounced around in her head so furiously that they were colliding in her thoughts. Would she be ordered into combat? Would she not be ordered into combat? Would she be able to control her weapon if she had to fight? Could se survive losing control of the weapon if she couldn’t?"
Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Smijey: "'Jacob, my associate and I heard that you like to play the ponies. Tell me, Jacob, is this true?'"
Untitled, by ShadowedLetters (prologue and chapter 1): "Back in the office Jake swiftly rounded on Helen, 'This is it honey, this is our last chance to change our mind. With the contract as written, we won’t even be able to SEE Daria without your mother’s permission, which you know she won’t give!'"
The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser (continued): "'It's a technique called Dream Induced Past Life Regression, best used during a Sedlacek's Somnosis, from which you woke up a week ago. I'm sorry you had to wait so long for the results, but the sixteen prior existences which impact your problem had to be rescanned. A considerable amount of transgenerational interaction is involved here, to a degree that's far outside the norm. In short, you're suffering from Karmic Overload and someone else has jammed the dump truck.'"
A work in progress. Subject to revision, by Chris Tucker: "'We are at T-minus 4 hours 27 minutes to graduation and counting. Internal navigation realignment and updates are in progress. All stations reporting all systems are GO at this time! This is Daria Launch Control.'" (Another update here.)
Worldburner: Educator DeMartino in "Is It Apocalypse War Yet?", by CharlesRB (complete!): "BENNETT: Angela, before we die, I have to say that I’ve ALWAYS hated you."
Worldburner: The Flames of Passion, by Brother Grimace (complete!): "If this didn’t make my stomach turn, I might mention just how cozy this looks."
Worldhopper (Prologue), by Erin M.: "'I never get tired of that,' said the lookalike, smirking. 'The complete look of confusion and disbelief. It's almost as good as when one of us realizes I just stabbed a major organ.'"
Y-Me?, by HolyGrail2007 (part 1): "Quinn became really annoyed. Didn’t he understand the cardinal barter system of dating? Gift first, then it moved from acquaintance to potential date. Potential to actual was determined by the follow-up gifts."
More to come later! (I hope!)