They're Eating...UNAUTHORIZED Chocolate!

I see Daria and Tom are way ahead of me on National Chocolates Day, but rest assured it won't take me long to catch up. I'm sure Mrs. Johanssen would love to celebrate as well, as long as she can find someone willing to sell her some chocolate.

No chocolate for Evan, though, even if it is National Evan Day. In the case of Evan Landon, he's just a baby and shouldn't have any. In the case of Evan from the track team, well...he's kind of a baby, too, and I don't think he deserves any chocolate after the way he treated Jane.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Marty Kroftt.

Jakey Hendrix

Jake's giving that guitar everything he's got in honor of Jimi Hendrix, who was born on this day in 1942. I doubt Jake could ever hope to reach Hendrix's level of skill (who could?), but I hope he tries his hand at composing another song for the school musical. He can even write it about dogs if he wants.

Whatever he does, I hope he doesn't forget to attend the branding conference, because it's National Brand Day and I'm sure he'd hate to keep those poor cows waiting. Wait, was that not the point of the conference? Huh.

Finally, one must wonder if the Fashion Club will celebrate Cyber Monday, since it's a holiday about shopping but also about computers. The last thing they'd want is to be mistaken for computer geeks.

Fanfic Update!

• Avatar: The Drama Of Daria, by psychotol (part 8): "As Daria and Jane ate their pizza at their selected thankfully indoor table Daria asked 'So you mentioned Hun Pino was trying to stoke a trans panic because Ikki hails from the Air Nation which has been famously tolerant of human sexual orientations and gender identities, which you seemed to indicate was unlikely to take hold?'"


• Bad Bromance, by wilddogjj (part 1): "Kevin was in his back yard with a shovel. He plunged the shovel into some dirt and struggled to get it in."


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 76): "Anna knew, as soon as she had set foot into that house, that this was going to be nothing like the wonderful night that she and Lockie had spent at Avalon's place."


• Spider Quinn 03: Comes Great Responsibility, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "As Amy and Daria talked, Helen talked to her mother. 'Do you know what happened?' Theresa Barksdale asked."

Anyone Want to Shop for Baseball Equipment?

Mr. O'Neill wants everyone to know that today is the anniversary of Joe DiMaggio's birth in 1914, but he hopes that the realization that DiMaggio is currently deceased won't adversely affect anyone's emotional well-being...and he's crying. I think it's a new record!

The Fashion Club won't need to be informed about Shopping Reminder Day, because they don't need a special holiday--or any excuse, really--to go shopping.

However, it might be a good idea to shop small for Small Business Saturday, because places like Payday already have enough money. On the other hand, buying from people like Earl and Barbara just encourages them to make weird product choices.

Fandom News!

• Share your picks for the best tributes to a deceased cast member on a TV show.

Happy Turkey Day to Everyone in the U.S.!

Looks like Pilgrim Quinn will be missing out on the Thanksgiving feast, but I don't suppose it's a great loss. It's not like she was going to have anything aside from a few carrot sticks and maybe a long sniff of pumpkin pie.

If she does feel like having a snack later, she could always celebrate National Cashew Day. As Jake says, they are a first-class nut! Not like those wannabe peanuts.

Finally, happy anniversary to this very blog, which first went online on this day in 2007. Sixteen years later, it's still going and old enough to get its driver's license!

Fanfic Update!

• Spider Quinn 03: Comes Great Responsibility, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Jane knocked on Daria’s door. 'Come in,' Daria said."

Who's Up For Some Binge-Watching?

Daria and Jane have settled in for World Television Day, and I assume they're tuning into a Sick, Sad World marathon. Go ahead and watch whatever you want, but bonus points for anyone who watches any Daria episodes.

The more ambitious among us may choose to celebrate National Entrepreneur's Day instead, perhaps by starting their own business. How about a TV-watching business? Jodie will probably participate in this one, especially if she ever managed to build her own consulting firm geared toward minority start-ups.

Finally, I'd just like to greet everyone in honor of World Hello Day: Hello! There, that's over with.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Rosalynn Carter.

Don't Forget to Wash Your Hands!

Daria's going to spend a bit of quality time with her friend the Talking Toilet in honor of World Toilet Day, but hopefully she'll let someone else have a turn if they need it. Jake might also be spending some quality time with the toilet, but only because he still can't remember to check for toilet paper before he gets started.

I'm sure he'll be out in time to celebrate International Men's Day, though, but don't tell Ms. Barch about it. Please do tell any smartasses who like to complain about International Women's Day by claiming they don't get their own holiday, however. It probably won't shut them up, but it's worth a shot.

Once both Daria and Jake are out of the bathroom, they can play a friendly board game for Play Monopoly Day! We all know how it'll end, though: Jake will start losing badly and begin bargaining away punishments in order to save his skin. Go get him, Daria!

Fanfic Update!

• Crappy Thanksgiving, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Freezing rain continues to fall over Philadelphia International Airport. Inside the central terminal Kevin is using a fake ID to get into the American Airlines Admirals Club." (Part 3)

I Guess She Really "Kneaded" the Dough! (groan)

Looks like Helen is already regretting her decision to celebrate Homemade Bread Day, perhaps because hand-kneaded bread having more "soul" means you have to sell yours in order to get through the process. Just get out the bread machine, Helen!

In fact, maybe she should just forget the bread and celebrate Take A Hike Day instead! I'm sure Mr. DeMartino would be happy to join her, but hopefully she'll remember not to eat any berries she finds along the journey.

When Mr. D comes back, who wants to tell him that it's also International Students Day? If we're lucky, he'll just turn back around and take another hike until the feelings of rage subside.

Fandom News!

• Check out Daria's appearance in "Seventeen" Magazine.

The Fashion Club Doesn't Even Recycle Outfits

I really hope the Fashion Club isn't just throwing out their rejected newsletters because it's America Recycles Day and they should do their best to keep things out of landfills. At the very least, they could hold onto them until their bad advice comes back into style, and then recycle the newsletters as timely suggestions!

If you have anything you want to get rid of that's still in good condition, please consider donating it in honor of National Philanthropy Day. Yes, belly chains and go-go boots count, if you must.

I'm sure Daria would be happy to donate her old Camp Grizzly shirt, even though it's National Camp T-Shirt Day and this would be a great opportunity to break out that awesome chant: Go, Grizzlies! Go, Grizzlies! Go...away.

Fanfic Update!

• Crappy Thanksgiving, by wilddogjj (part 1): "Jim, Chuck (formerly Upchuck) and Chris (Jim's brother) were in Jim's man cave. The reason they weren't outside hanging out with Kevin on his porch is because the weather's bad, with dark gray skies and heavy rain."


• Crushing Timmy, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Timmy and Kayla were walking home from the mall. Timmy carried Kayla's shopping bags as they approached his house." (Part 3)


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 75): "At first Anna Felicia had been so confident about what would happen that night, and yet now that she was facing the bloody thing for real, she was not so sure about Lockie's psychological strategy anymore."


• Spider Quinn 03: Comes Great Responsibility, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "After running some distance into fog, Quinn took to the rooftops and trees, and swung aimlessly around Lawndale."

A Rare Tender Lane Family Moment

Jane seems pleased enough to celebrate National Hug a Musician Day, but probably only because it's Trent. I suspect Nick and Max would not be so lucky. Jesse, on the other hand? Hmmm....

This hug is especially appropriate because it's Caregiver Appreciation Day! Of course, it's up for some debate which of the two takes care of the other, but I think it's safe to say they both had more of a role in each other's upbringing than their parents did.

Finally, let's all enjoy World Kindness Day, not necessarily by hugging anyone (especially if they'd prefer you didn't), but just by treating everyone as well as we can. Even Daria, blunt and cynical as she was, did show kindness at least occasionally. Generally when no one was looking.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between Rom vs. Jar Jar Binks.

Watch Out for Paper Cuts!

Jane is giving Jake some free lessons on World Origami Day, and I think they're well-stocked on duckies. Perhaps a nice flower or a boat?

If paper is too flimsy for you, you could celebrate National Metal Day instead. Technically the holiday is about the music genre, but I'd like to think Metalmouth is out there living his best life today.

Finally today is both National Timothy Day and National Education Day, and I must emphasize that Mr. O'Neill and education are linked in the vaguest possible way.

Fanfic Update!

• Avatar: The Drama Of Daria, by psychotol (part 7): "Daria entered the school when the PE teacher walked up to her saying 'DARIA MORGENDORFFER.'"


• Crushing Timmy, by wilddogjj (part 1): "Quinn, her husband Jim and their triplet sons Tommy, Timmy and Teddy were in the living room. Quinn and Jim were dressed up for a night on the town."


• This is Not America, by ladyevil (part 1): "'You brought enough for the whole class, Michael?' Ms. Barch asked in study hall."

Tell Us What You REALLY Think, Jane!

While Jane is certainly celebrating Go to an Art Museum Day, it doesn't look like she's enjoying the trip very much. Then again, she could just be annoyed that none of the works on display are Jane Lane originals.

If art isn't for you, you could still create something new by celebrating National Inventors' Day! Not the folding coffee cup, though. Andrew Landon already has that particular market cornered.

Whichever holiday you choose, make sure you celebrate wildly because it's Chaos Never Dies Day and, well, you don't want to let the chaos die, do you? Given some of the insanity that happened in certain Daria episodes, I suspect Daria would happily murder it with her bare hands.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between Rusty Burrell and Bull Shannon.

Hell Is Other Chemists

Quinn is fully prepared to isolate some radium in honor of Marie Curie, who was born on this day in 1867. I suppose if Quinn did want to work in a science, she could do worse than chemistry. There would be no dissecting animals or digging in the dirt, for example! She might need to worry about that glowing skin, though.

When she's done with her experiments, she could always change into her black turtleneck and read something by Albert Camus, who was born on this day in 1913. I don't know how she feels about existentialism, but I'm sure she can handle some accessories from the street fair.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Enrolls at Nevermore, by Meester_Lee (part 12): "Daria decided to make her first move against Catherine on Sunday. She’d come to believe that Catherine was a spy for the INES for Truth organization, although what reasons she didn’t know."


• Kids in America, by ladyevil (part 1): "Daria was sitting in the waiting room at Dr. Becky’s office. Her mother and sister were both yakking on their cell phones."


• Shoes Of Death, by radiofox (COMPLETE!): "'Mr. D, can I go get some water?' Kevin raised his hand. 'I would prefer if it you didn't go during class but any time without you is good time.'"

Remember, Remember....

Guy Fawkes Day, or Bonfire Night as he's more commonly referred to, has a special holiday message for everyone! What? Why, yes, it is "Bollocks!" However could you possibly have guessed?

Back on this side of the Atlantic, Kevin will be celebrating American Football Day by either playing or watching his favorite game. In fact, he might try to do both at once! I'm sure it won't end in a spectacular failure that causes injury to Kevin and amusement to everyone else.

Finally, it's National Redhead Day and we should all wish a happy day to Daria's most well-known redhead...Upchuck! Or maybe Artie! No? Hmm. Ms. Defoe? Oh, what about Jeffy? I suppose Penny counts....

Fandom News!

• Check out the Metalmouth Jack O'lantern Erin M found.

Just Wait Until Trent's Peanut Butter Craving Kicks In....

I think Jane and Daria should really pick a different way to celebrate Sandwich Day. I mean, we know where that sandwich has been (Daria's butt) and we don't know how long it's been in the Tank. Honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a microscopic civilization thriving inside that peanut butter right now.

Kevin should probably celebrate Give Someone a Dollar Day five times over, at least if he's still wearing Ms. Barch's ugly costume. I'm happy to accept bills of any denomination, so feel free to celebrate this holiday as much as you want!

I'm afraid Helen has a difficult choice ahead of her, though, because it's both Love Your Lawyer Day and Housewife's Day, and she's barely able to keep up with the stress of even one of those options. I think we all know she's going to pick work over home, so the question is really moot anyway.

Fanfic Update!

• Avatar: The Drama Of Daria, by psychotol (part 6): "'Hello?' said Hellen as she answered a phone call as the rest of the family ate."


• Daria on the Trail, by meesterlee (part 56): "We departed late the next morning: we spent part of it having Katy Harris’ funeral and burial service."


• Happy Halloween, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (COMPLETE!): "Lawndale was for sure one of the best places to enjoy a Halloween night!"

Day of the Brain Dead, Anyway

Tiffany is ready to celebrate Day of the Dead, or Día de los Muertos, which begins tonight. Of course, as soon as she realizes she holding a skull, she'll probably shout "Ewwww," drop it, and give herself a thorough manicure.

I'm sure the incident won't bother her too much, though, because that would require her to hold onto a thought for more than two seconds at a time. She probably doesn't need to concern herself with National Stress Awareness Day, although Jake might want to. "Why do people keep telling me I'm stressed? If I weren't stressed, I'd get stressed by everyone telling me I'm stressed!"

In fact, perhaps he should relax and try some calming oral hygiene for National Brush Day. Tad and Tricia Gupty can't wait to get to the part with the flossing!

Fandom News!

• Share your choices for the most zany cartoon characters.