Friday, January 17, 2020

Maybe Just Try on a Nice Pair of Bifocals Instead?


Mr. DeMartino is holding an ill-advised reenactment in honor of Benjamin Franklin's birth on this day in 1706. I'm not sure why; science experiments are more Ms. Barch's thing than his. Maybe he's trying to work out a cheap method of self-resuscitation in case of heart attack.

Fandom News!
  • The deadline to nominate for the 2019 Daria Fanworks Awards is tomorrow. Please submit your choices here, here, and here.

  • What are your thoughts on the new Lego Masters show?

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

God Save the Queen!


Daria is feeling especially regal on the anniversary of Queen Elizabeth I's crowning on this day in 1559. I can't say that she looks very comfortable, though. At least she kept the color theme consistent!

Today is also the anniversary of the very first Super Bowl in 1967. Ever since, great big guys have continued slamming into other great big guys in pursuit of victory.

Time is running out to nominate for the 2019 Daria Fanworks Awards. Please send in your nominations soon!

Fanfic Update!
  • Am I A Grownup Yet?, by jones2000 (part 22): "The Zeemobile pulled into the driveway of the Morgendorffer residence and the doors opened. 'Any problems with leaving early?'"

  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 30): "Daniel slept deeply that night. The next morning he woke up fresh, rested ... and hungry."

  • Daria Greenwood, by sarcasticsponge (part 1): "A long, black limousine is seen driving slowly to Lawndale. Inside the limo in the back seat sits a sullen young teen girl that goes by the name 'Daria Greenwood'."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (parts 23 and 24): "The dinner ended, and the students began to stand up. 'Ravenclaws, follow us!' said a couple of older students. Daria guessed that they were in their late teens." (Part 24)

  • A family Secret, by Rémi (part 7): "Jake swallowed his mug of coffee in one big gulp, hoping it'd ease his hangover. He had arrived home very late and half-drunk the previous night, with the help of a taxi : he'd have to retrieve the SUV later."

  • Like a Masochist in Newport, by Lady Evil (part 4): "'Now, this is what I call a wedding breakfast.' said Amy between bites of her powdered donut as they drove into town."

  • Same Crap, Different Place (Daria and Quinn), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Daria was sitting at her desk typing away on her computer when the phone rang. She immediately answered. Daria: 'Hello, you've reached the Ninth Circle of Hell, Lady Satan speaking.'"

Monday, January 13, 2020

Rubber DUCKie I'm AWfully Fond of YOU!


I would correct Mr. DeMartino on how he's observing National Rubber Duckie Day wrong, but I just can't do it. I mean, look at how happy he is! I'll just let him enjoy his hike with his new friends, even if they aren't made of rubber.

Today is also International Skeptics Day, and if Daria doesn't qualify for this one then I don't know who does.

Fandom News!

Saturday, January 11, 2020

Making a Splash


Looks like Andrea's preparing for Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friends Day! Nah, I'm just kidding. Andrea doesn't have friends. Meanwhile, Daria's hoping that Jane doesn't go anywhere near puddles of paint, as her dousing at the parade was more than enough.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 34): "Daria stood by the electrical and network blocks for the Library. As soon as main power went out she would pull the network block. Then she would pull the electrical."

  • The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Alpha was bored. Again."

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 32): "Erin was lifted onto her toes as Trevor kissed her. Their progress towards the forward berth was interrupted by bursts of frenzied kissing."

  • A family Secret, by Rémi (parts 5 and 6): "Helen paced the living room nervously. She was worried sick. She didn't know where her husband had gone, her youngest daughter was clearly suffering from the dramatic revealing of the circumstances of her birth, she couldn't be any help to Quinn, and she wasn't sure she could rely on Daria to comfort the poor girl, even though she had – reluctantly – agreed to try." (Part 6)

  • Like a Masochist in Newport, by Lady Evil (part 3): "Jake saw Daria sitting in front of a vanity, doing her make-up. That was something she practically never did. 'Daria?' he called out."

Thursday, January 9, 2020

Hey, Little QB!


Kevin's enjoying what must be one of the most dead-on alter egos as Gilligan, played by Bob Denver, who was born on this day in 1935. For the Gilligan's Island fans out there, please enjoy Jim North's unfinished (hint, hint) fanfic A Three Hour Tour.

Today is also Play God Day, so go ahead and follow Jane's advice and "take people you know and have them do whatever you want. I'd make them crawl, I tell you. Crawl!"

Fandom News!
  • Don't forget to nominate works for the 2019 Daria Fanworks Awards here, here, and here.

  • Discuss the possibility of war with Iran.

Tuesday, January 7, 2020

Bleeding Edge Synergy!


Noah Barkman wants everyone to know that today is International Programmers' Day, although given the timing of his dotcom startup I'd be very surprised if he's even still in business by this point. If you're a programmer yourself, then have a great (and possibly geeky) day, and I hope you never get hired at Buzzdome!

Fanfic Update!
  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 29): "The music had started by a few seconds when Daniel felt someone tap on his shoulder. He turned and saw Sandi."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (parts 21 and 22): "The girls didn't exit their compartment immediately. Instead, they waited for the crowd of students to thin, then opened their compartment door and left the train." (Part 22)

  • A family Secret, by Rémi (parts 2 - 4): "'So, Mom, Daria asked in a cold tone, I think you've some explaining to do.'" (Part 3) (Part 4)

  • Like a Masochist in Newport, by Lady Evil (parts 1 and 2): "'Your writing is coming along very well, Monica.' Daria told her after most of the kids went home for the day. 'You're very good at both description and dialogue. However, I think you need to research some details. I don't think a dead body would decompose that quickly indoors at room temperature.'" (Part 2)

  • My Cruddy Valentine, by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "It was the morning of Valentine's Day. Clarissa normally hated this day."

  • Time For A Change (Daria And Quinn), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn's white Cadillac CTS Sedan was parked on 48th Street in front of the building that Daria lives in. Quinn and Daria emerged from the building and got in the car."

  • Weighted (Atiya's Trash Thread), by atiyatortilla (COMPLETE!): "Daria didn't need Prince Charming. She didn't need a Hollywood heartthrob to swoop in on a white horse and whisk her away to Neverland. Even at the young age of six, she knew what her classmates didn't: fantasies would never come true."

Sunday, January 5, 2020

Tweeting Before It Was Cool


I see Helen and Jake have already started celebrating National Bird Day, unless this is just one of their turn-ons. If so, I'd rather not know anything more about it. Meanwhile, Daria and Quinn will be celebrating in their own special way:

Quinn: Look, can you please stop talking to me? If the Fashion Club sees this I'll be like one of those baby birds that gets put back in the nest but the mother knows it's been touched by a human and pecks it to death, understand?

Daria: Sure. You're a birdbrain.

Fandom News!
  • The 2019 Daria Fanworks Awards are open! Nominate works here, here, and here.

Friday, January 3, 2020

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz


I see that Trent is way ahead of the rest of us on Festival of Sleep Day, although I suspect he began observing the holiday several years ago. All the same, get plenty of rest today if you can!

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of J. R. R. Tolkien on this day in 1892, and Jake made Helen another hobbit-shaped candle to celebrate. At least, I think it's a hobbit. It could be anything, honestly.

Fanfic Update!
  • Burned Out, by Wrabbit7 (part 15): "'Can you believe the topic of that essay?' Jennifer asked. Daria, walking beside her on their way to her house, nodded. 'I doubt even half the class can spell "intersectional bipartisanship", let alone know what it is.'"

  • Daria: High School Reunion, by Serrallonga (part 6): "(As Twain jumps over the counter, Dante stops playing and gets down the stage, helping Tommy to get up. They start walking very slowly) TWAIN: So, how're you doing, boy? TOMMY: Kill me."

  • Daria Ravenclaw, by Meester_Lee (parts 19 and 20): "Jake awoke early the next morning. My biological clock must have reset to London time, he thought bemusedly. He went to the bathroom, used the commode, then shaved and showered. He went back into the bedroom and changed into daywear." (Part 20)

  • A family Secret, by Rémi (part 1): "The Morgendorffer family was seated around the table, eating dinner, when Jake asked in a benevolent tone : 'How's the old self-esteem coming, kiddo ?'"

  • Flames Of Fashion (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "A fire truck raced toward the building with it's sirens going off. The truck came to a halt in front of one of the buildings. Quinn, Stacy, Brittany, Sandi and O'Malley all disembarked."

  • Hobbitdale (Iron Chef - Tall Daria), by cfardellbrenorenz29 (part 2): "Daria walked with the Human girl she had met in the Self-Esteem class, Jane Lane, towards her house. She was amazed that Hobbitdale seemed to have a majority Hobbit population, whereas Highland was mostly human."

  • Living Is Easy With Her Close, by belivaird_st (part 1): "Daria sits up in bed one morning and hears her parents arguing sporadically downstairs. The Morgendorffers must be in the kitchen, because a plate shatters fatally on the linoleum floor with Helen wailing, 'Now look what you've done, Jake!' with her mournful sobbing coming soon afterwards."

  • My Cruddy Valentine, by Lady Evil (part 7): "In the art club, all the kids were painting and drawing while Jane made some decorations for the party. She cut out a paper garland of red hearts and sighed."

  • Time For A Change (Daria And Quinn), by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "Quinn was in the kitchen taking some marangues out of the oven. A tripod mounted camera was recording the whole action. After shutting off the oven, Quinn turned her attention to the camera." (Part 2)

Wednesday, January 1, 2020

Flaaaaaaaaaaaaag?


I'm not certain if Tiffany is recreating the creation of the American flag on the anniversary of Betsy Ross's birth on this day in 1752...or just trying to sew an outfit that won't make her look fat. If the latter, then those big horizontal stripes are a definite fashion "don't."

Today is also the first day of a new year, and may it be a good one! If anyone is celebrating National Hangover Day then I'll just say I hope the rest of the year goes better for you and then be quiet for awhile as you recover.

Fandom News!

Monday, December 30, 2019

Cool! Uh, I Mean Fore!


I'm not sure which is stranger: Jesse performing any feat of physical exertion or that outfit. I mean, he's got a shirt on! Still, we take what we can get for Tiger Woods's birthday. Jake, at least, will be interested in this one, at least if Helen will leave him alone long enough to hit the links.

If golf isn't your thing, then you could celebrate Bacon Day instead. Not you, Jake. Think of your heart condition!

Fanfic Update!
  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 28): "Daniel had a hard time holding back that yawn. He was really bored."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 18): "Jake went downstairs while Daria started moving the contents of her old suitcase into her new one. Not that she really had anything to worry about him seeing what she'd packed, but that she had gotten that self-conscious was a reminder that Smidget was getting older and would be a teenager before too long."

  • Edicius, by elainefr (part 21): "Lane residence...... 'Hey Daria.' Trent opened the door to the petite young woman that stood on the other side. 'Hey Trent.'"

  • Flames Of Fashion (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "Quinn, Stacy, Sandi and Brittany were seated at a table while the town's chief arson investigator, a grizzled old man with a military buzz cut, stood in front of them with a stern look on his face." (Part 2)

  • My Cruddy Valentine, by Lady Evil (part 6): "'Now, let me get this straight,' sighed Pedro. 'You want me to mug you while you are on your date with Quinn tomorrow.'"

  • A Princess of Limburg (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Uneasy lies a head that wears the crown.'"

Saturday, December 28, 2019

Mack's...er, Jack's Wild


Sir Mack invites everyone to join him for a game of five-card stud on Card Playing Day. The winner gets either the power to crush their enemies, to triumph over all...or the tender liver of a newborn babe. You choose.

Today is also a holiday for the true believers, because it's the anniversary of the birth of Stan Lee on this day in 1922. The late comic book writer and creator may have died last year, but the sheer number of superhero crossovers in Daria fanfic shows that his legacy lives on even in our fandom.

Fandom News!

Thursday, December 26, 2019

Hitting Below the Designer Belt


Normally I would tell Stacy that Boxing Day has nothing to do with the combat sport, but one look at her expression tells me I'd rather just stay out of her way. I don't know what Sandi said this time, but I'm sure she'll regret it soon.

Today is also the first day of Kwanzaa, and I expect the Guptys will be reading Tad and Tricia Kaneesha's First Kwanzaa to celebrate.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 17): "Both Jake and Daria left Florean Fortescue's ice cream shop sated, happy, but exhausted."

  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 33): "Arnison and Mia removed the helmets of their surface suits. Arnison looked around and was quite impressed with the space."

  • The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (part 179): "'You know,' Pat said, 'why don't we have a virtual frog? Or something?' Tom and Pat looked down at the dead frog on their dissection plate. 'What, not going to major in biology, Pat?'"

  • Hell hath no fury... (IC: Make a Daria Character a Killer), by nightbeast37 (COMPLETE!): "It was well past 9pm. Kevin had been chained to his bed, stripped to his boxers."

  • My Cruddy Valentine, by Lady Evil (part 5): "'OK,' Daria said at her book club. 'Does anyone have any questions about what we've read so far in Emma?' A girl with pigtailed strawberry blonde hair raised her hand. 'Yes, Natalie?'"

Tuesday, December 24, 2019

The Spruce Recluse


I guess Tom didn't take getting dumped by Daria all that well after all, did he? Either that or he's just paying tribute to Howard Hughes on the anniversary of the late eccentric billionaire's birth on this day in 1905. Personally, I think he's taking it a bit too far.

However, I'm not going to spoil his fun, especially on Christmas Eve! If you celebrate, be sure to hang up stockings and put out cookies and milk, or maybe one of those little cottages all made out of gingerbread.

Fandom News!

Sunday, December 22, 2019

Mystik Schlemiel


Rabbi Trent wants everyone to know that Hanukkah begins tonight at sundown! I have to say, Trent as a rabbi makes a lot of sense when you think about it: the holidays start at night? It's perfect for someone who believes that "the night holds the key."

Today is also the anniversary of Giacomo Puccini's birth on this day in 1858. To celebrate, go join Mr. DeMartino in the automotive department for a performance of Madame Butterfly.

Fanfic Update!
  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 22): "After a short walk, the eight teens reached Brittany's house. Sandi, by claiming her status of president of the fashion club, rang the bell and almost immediately the blonde cheerleader opened the door."

  • Edicius, by elainefr (part 20): "Outside 'Tom......' Why don't you say no?"

  • The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Regeneration. You never knew what you were going to get. But that was jumping ahead..."

  • The Many Named God (Odds and Ends), by LSM (COMPLETE!): "The streaks of sunlight hit his face through the grimy windows of the run down motel."

  • Mercy-Kill (IC: Make a Daria Character a Killer), by YouthofOz (COMPLETE!): "Shaggy looked at the knife in his hand, then up at his friend. 'When I said if you ever needed a favor...' he began."

Friday, December 20, 2019

Fa La LA La La!


Yes, that's Daria singing and looking incredibly happy. No, it's not real. I just dredged up a fantasy sequence from the Beavis and Butt-head episode "It's a Miserable Life," so that Daria could celebrate Go Caroling Day. I'm sure she's hating every minute of it.

One holiday that Quinn will not be happy about is National Ugly Christmas Sweater Day. Dig out those gaudy clothes and really freak her out, okay? I bet it'll cheer Daria up, anyway.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, December 18, 2019

My Name Is HAMMY!


I know Jamie and his friends would do anything for Quinn, but even on National Roast Suckling Pig Day I think this is a bit much. I will say that including the earring was a nice touch, though.

Today is also the anniversary of two essays by Michelle Klein-Häss, "Control Room Update" and "Daria Fandom: A Question of Gratitude," both published on this day in 1998. They give an interesting peek into fandom life from over twenty years ago, as well as what it was like to follow the show as it was airing.

Fanfic Update!
  • Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "Daria borrowed a cell phone from one of the spectators and called her mother's law office in Lawndale. Marianne, her mother's assistant, picked up on the third ring."

  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 26): "Daniel barely had time to relax. As soon he and the fashion club got out of the car, those three idiots of the other day rushed toward them. So he had to engage Mad Dog mode very quickly."

  • Daria Does the DCU, by Lady Evil (part 3): "Sandi was naked, save for the leather leash and handcuffs the dwarfs dressed like Cupid forced her into."

  • The Detectives and the Victim (Scenes, Brainstorms, and Drabbles Thread), by shiva (COMPLETE!): "Detective Ramirez stepped out of the patrol car, the scene had already been tapped off and despite it being on the road near the woods on the edge of Lawndale late a night a small crowd had already gathered."

  • The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (part 178): "'No - fucking - WAY!!' Donna's mouth made a capital 'O' shape as she sat with Elsie Sloane on a stone bench outside the Georgia-Black Building."

  • Hobbitdale (Iron Chef - Tall Daria), by cfardellbrenorenz29 (part 1): "The blue Lexus approached the High School. 'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realise it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- especially for you, Daria, right?' Jake Morgendorffer said."

  • My Cruddy Valentine, by Lady Evil (part 4): "Clarissa came off the elevator to hear a guitar playing slow and deliberate notes as Ariel tried to match them with her voice. Was that Jesse?"

  • Unnamed story (IC: Melody Powers's Biggest Fan), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Sometimes he liked to blame everything on Tim Burton and Peter Chung. 'Hey, if Catwoman and Aeon Flux hadn't happened when I was entering puberty...!'"

  • Unnamed story (IC: Melody Powers's Biggest Fan), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "It's not that he hated reading. Sure, he'd never torn through books the way some of his classmates did, pages blurring between their fingers as they raced from cover to cover. And sure, he'd never read all that much. No stacks of completed Beverly Cleary and Gary Paulsen novels or Best Reader ribbons."

Monday, December 16, 2019

When Women Either Married or Shriveled Up and Blew Away


Daria and Quinn are both here to wish Jane Austen a happy birthday! The late author was born on this day in 1775, and between her romantic stories and skill with satire, I think this is one writer that both girls might enjoy!

I, too, am a fan of Austen, but I'm also (as anyone who knows me is aware) a major chocoholic. For that reason, I'll be quite happy to celebrate National Chocolate Covered Anything Day! Mmm, chocolate and a good book. Do not disturb for the rest of the day, all right?

Fandom News!

Saturday, December 14, 2019

The Beauty IS the Beast!


Brittany's certainly enjoying International Monkey Day! Kevin, not so much. Jane might celebrate by recreating the incident at her fourth birthday party with the "tiny tricycle and a chimp."

If monkeys aren't your thing, then enjoy a snack for Roast Chestnuts Day! Daria's probably got some at the nut stand, but don't expect her to smile.

If you're getting "Account suspended" messages when you try to visit the PPMB, it's not just you! The message board is having technical difficulties, but the admins are working to resolve the issue. Until then, some of the links below will not work. In the meantime, chat with fans at the Lawndale-high Message Board!

Fanfic Update!
  • Burned Out, by Wrabbit7 (part 15): "Once again, Mr DeMartino's class proved to be far too entertaining to sleep through."

  • Danny Morgendorffer, by st91 (parts 19 - 22): "That evening, as always, the Morgendorffer family was having dinner in the kitchen. The menu featured breaded cod baked in the oven with a side tomato salad. Everything cooked by Quinn obviously."

  • The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (part 177): "Daria sat in her bedroom. The previous night was the last time she slept in the bed that had been her home for two years."

  • My Cruddy Valentine, by Lady Evil (parts 2 and 3): "'Hey, Trent?' asked a boy in his song writing club. 'What rhymes with nauseating?'" (Part 3)

Thursday, December 12, 2019

The Price Is...Cool.


Jesse's inviting you all to come on down to celebrate Bob Barker's birthday! The Price is Right host turns 96 today, so as a gift you could either estimate the cost of this lovely dinette set or spay and neuter your pets. Your choice!

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of Edvard Munch, artist best known for "The Scream," in 1863. Something tells me he would have been a big fan of Jane's "Art Colonies Suck" period.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, December 10, 2019

Three Squeaks for Animal Rights!


Roger the Mouse (as fanon has christened him) hopes that everyone observes International Animal Rights Day by setting him free. Or at least not letting that Brian kid get anywhere near him. Today is also Human Rights Day, so I guess just about everyone is covered. But doesn't anyone care about the rights of plant life?

As a librarian, I would also like to point out that today is the anniversary of the birth of Melvil Dewey in 1851. You can celebrate by alphabetizing the books on your bookshelf. C'mon, it'll be fun!

Fanfic Update!
  • Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 10): "Butthead opened the Pettys' front door and walked out towards the street. The two hot chicks were still there." (Part 11)

  • Daria: In Another World?, by starwater09 (part 4): "Daria could still remember those words that her best friend had told her last week like it were yesterday, and at the time it was said it had given her great comfort to know that Jane could be so forgiving towards her."

  • Tiffany Gets Career Advice, by MeowX7 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn Morgendorffer resisted the urge to drop the slick brochure like the vile piece of filth it was and only handed it back to her friend, Tiffany Blum-Deckler."

  • Yet Another Cheesy Christmas Story, by Peridaniel (COMPLETE!): "The scenery outside the airplane was surprisingly clear for a winter night. As Daria idly stared out the window, she could see the trees, lakes, and occasional snow-covered fields that covered the ground."

Sunday, December 8, 2019

D'awwwww!


I see one Morgendorffer sister is much more excited about International Children's Day than the other. Of course, when you're as cute as they are, every day is International Children's Day! For grown-up Daria, I suppose that's actually her idea of hell. Oh well. Everyone else, whether you have kids, know kids, or are a kid at heart, enjoy the day!

Fandom News!

Friday, December 6, 2019

The Feisty Barkeep


It might be Bartender Appreciation Day, but I think Upchuck's going to need to provide a lot more alcohol than that if he wants to be appreciated by anyone. In fact, I'm not sure there's enough booze in the world for people to overlook that level of creepiness.

Today is also the anniversary of the infamous Altamont Free Concert on this day in 1969. Jake still has vivid memories of that day, or at least memories of that refund he inexplicably got.

Fanfic Update!
  • Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 9): "Butthead passed through the checkpoint and walked home. Somebody really had a bee up their butt. Highland was crawling with cops and soldiers. Butthead wondered what it was about."

  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 25): "Daniel did not realize it but his gaze passed many times from Sandi to his mother and vice versa. At one point the older woman laughed. Not an evil laughter, just a fun one."

  • Daria Does the DCU, by Lady Evil (part 2): "Jane was visiting her Cousin Lois again. She asked Daria to come with her. After what happened last time, she felt safer in Metropolis if she had a friend with her."

  • The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (part 176): "Daria Morgendorffer waited at the Baltimore Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport. She hated the fact that she had to stand around and wait. There must have been a dozen people like her impatiently waiting with nowhere to sit."

  • My Cruddy Valentine, by Lady Evil (part 1): "'So, what’s the plan for Valentine’s Day, Tom?' Quinn asked on the phone. It was the landline as her own phone was still confiscated."

Wednesday, December 4, 2019

That's the Way the Cookie...Well, You Know the Rest


Helen and Rita are going to whip up a batch of cookies to celebrate National Cookie Day, but only if they can figure out how to turn the oven on. Honestly, it might be better for them to buy some at the store. Oh, wait! Daria is at the front door with a plate of heart-shaped cookies just for them! How creepy!

Fandom News!

Monday, December 2, 2019

Oops, She Did It Again!


Avert your eyes from this disturbing alter ego, but also know that today is pop singer Britney Spears's 38th birthday! I'm sure Quinn will be happy to know, because I can easily see her as a fan.

Of course, Quinn will probably be busy shopping online today, because it's also Cyber Monday! By now the internet is pervasive enough that she probably doesn't need the assistance of any technical types, cute or otherwise.

Fanfic Update!
  • Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 8): "'And for our next discussion leader, I'd like to welcome Cynic,' said Thunderer, current head of the Las Vegas PRT."

  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 32): "The day had been long and really boring so far. It seemed totally incongruous to Daria that waking a sleeping alien should be something that made it so hard for her to keep her eyes open!"

  • Daria the teenage witch (Various Esteemsters), by Rémi (parts 1 and 2): "Jake is driving his daughters to school ; Quinn is riding shotgun, Daria is in the back seat. Jake : Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town... We can trust you to be careful this time, right ?" (Part 2)

  • Edicius, by elainefr (part 19): "'Tom?' Daria was surprised to see him waiting for her when she had gotten home that evening. He was leaning against his car with his hands in his pockets looking down. He barely looked up at her when she said his name."

  • History lesson (SUPERIORS), by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "The bell rang, marking the end of the lesson. Very well, that's it for today. Have a nice vacation. Said an afroamerican woman in her late 30's."

  • Lucy in the Sky with Daria, by Blake C Stacey (COMPLETE!): "A borrowed space in late summer, between the arboretum soil and the branches of a weeping linden. Two young women. 'Jane, when did we meet? For the first time?'"

  • One Scrunchie to Rule the Mall, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Three girls sat on the floor, staring at the Mickey Mouse clock on Stacy Rowe's bedroom wall. The hands crawled to one minute past seven, and Quinn bounced up to sit on the bed--the official seat for the President of the Fashion Club."

  • Remember Me, by Lady Evil (part 1): "OK, don't be nervous. Clarissa told herself as she approached the new club rooms at Cedars of Lawndale. It's just a guitar lesson. You don't have to impress him or anything."

  • Sandi's Wonderful Life (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn, Stacy, Lindy and Brittany along with their husbands are frantically awaiting word on Sandi's condition. Stacy is hysterical." (Part 3)

  • Time and time again (Various Esteemsters), by Rémi (part 1): "Jake is driving his daughters to school ; Quinn is riding shotgun, Daria is in the back seat. Jake : Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- especially for you, Daria, right?"

  • Unconventional life choices (Various Esteemsters), by Rémi (part 1): "Jake is driving his daughters to school ; Quinn is riding shotgun, Daria is in the back seat. Jake : Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town... And we don't want things to become difficult for both of you, do you understand ?"

  • The Walking Dead, by Sofa King (COMPLETE!): "Dear Diary: October 3: This afternoon turned into a 'smother' day with Mom. I knew as soon as I walked through the door and saw her flipping through old photo albums that I was in for it."

Saturday, November 30, 2019

It Was a Good Day for Humorists!


Daria's getting into the spirit (in a matter of speaking) because today's the anniversary of Mark Twain's (a.k.a Samuel Clemens's) birth in 1835! She was a fan of his work, including Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn, but it's still open for debate whether or not he was responsible for creating Huckleberry Hound.

Speaking of famous satirists, today is also the anniversary of Jonathan Swift's birth on this day in 1667. Swift was known for his story Gulliver's Travels and his essay A Modest Proposal, the latter of which advocated for eating babies. Satirically, of course, but don't tell that last part to the Fashion Club. I'd love to see their reactions.

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Thursday, November 28, 2019

A Day For Screwed-up Family Problems and Getting Depressed By the End of the Day


Looks like the Morgendorffers have gone for a fully traditional pilgrim Thanksgiving, unless Quinn just pissed Daria off once too many. For fans in the United States, have a happy Thanksgiving and enjoy your tryptophan coma! In the meantime, enjoy this list of Thanksgiving-themed Daria fanfics and feel free to add any I've missed in the comments. Fanfic Update!
  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (COMPLETE!): "Dear Diary, I always did want to start one of those online blogs but restoring the internet to Lawndale is taking a bit longer than expected. So until then, this will have to do."

  • Gummy Bears (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It was a bright and sunny day in the magic woods."

  • The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (part 175): "Elsie was never happy about the bread. For the last few weeks, she and Julie Regan had been having brunch at Italian Labs, a new bistro that had opened in Swedesville. The excuse Elsie had was that she had wanted to learn to cook."

  • Sandi's Wonderful Life (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Quinn, Stacy, Lindy and Sandi are seated at the kitchen table working on decorations for an upcoming Christmas party. Quinn, Stacy and Lindy are visibly happy while Sandi looks miserable. Quinn: 'Thanks for helping me set up for my Christmas Eve party.'"

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Piece of Cake!


For once, Quinn and I are in agreement about celebrating National Cake Day. I don't know how she managed to bake and frost an entire cake without breaking a nail or burning down the kitchen, but I never turn down free chocolate cake.

Today is also Shopping Reminder Day, so Quinn had better put down the cake and get to Cashman's right away! Just set the cake down right here next to me. I'll take good care of it, I promise.

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Sunday, November 24, 2019

"Darwin's the monkey guy, right? I like monkeys!"


The Three Js have gotten a little too excited about All Our Uncles are Monkeys Day, which honors the anniversary of the publication of Charles Darwin's On the Origin of Species on this day in 1859. I don't know if those boys have any nieces or nephews, but anyone who has seen them fighting over Quinn would say the monkey comparison is accurate.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "'What am I being arrested for?' asked Amy as a stocky black woman in a bailiff uniform led her into the holding cell. 'Ain't it obvious, honey?' The stocky black woman gestured at Amy slink black sequined dress."

  • Cold Heart Attack (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 2): "Jim and Elsie were in the waiting area. As they waited for word on Vito's condition Elsie paced nervously while Jim had his eyes glued to the TV set."

  • Counting the Days (Daria and the Gang), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'...in order to maximize your mental power, you must start from the bottom...as great buildings are built brick by brick, beam by beam, board by board, girder by girder and ingot by ingot, in order to tap the full powers of the human mind, you must build a foundation. The first part of this foundation involves the division of time and the working units of time. The methods I will teach you are simply the conclusion of the physical training which you have completed if you are listening to this tape - '"

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (part 16): "'I say, Daria, what are you doing here?' he said. Daria was almost equally surprised. 'Cuthbert?' she said. 'Is that you?'"

  • Edicius, by elainefr (part 18): "'Just a minute,' Jane opened the Lane door to see a disgruntled Tom on the other side. 'Tom, hi.' 'I didn't have anywhere else to go.' He spoke in stilted tones. Jane groaned on the inside."

  • Something that Mr. O'Neill Doesn't Like (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Damn spiders!' Timothy O'Neill snapped as he smashed another one with a rolled up newspaper. 'It's the second one of the day.'"

Friday, November 22, 2019

Crunch Munch Nuts!


Jake's eager to celebrate National Cashew Day with his favorite nut, because "those are what the big guys eat!" Pick up a bag yourself from It's a Nutty, Nutty, Nutty World and be sure to say hi to Daria while you're there. Assuming she isn't hiding in the back room.

Also on this day, "Her, Uh, Cane" by paperpusher was posted on FanFiction.net. It's the earliest story on the Daria list, dated all the way back to 1998. How time flies!

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Wednesday, November 20, 2019

No, Brittany, That's Not How Perspective Works, Either


Either Brittany is trying out a weird new cheerleading move or she's gotten a little too into Absurdity Day. She really needn't try so hard, though. Daria can confirm that any time spent conversing with Brittany feels like an exercise in absurdity.

This is also Universal Children's Day, but don't expect Daria to celebrate. Remember: "Forget it. I don't like kids. I didn't even like kids when I was a kid."

Fanfic Update!
  • Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 7): "Daria got permission to call home and tell her parents that she was still all right. She decided she'd use one of the auditorium building's side rooms if there was one unlocked and available. She'd call Dad; Mom was likely to be tied up conferring with clients, other lawyers, or tied up in court."

  • Cold Heart Attack (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "A large group was assembled in the ballroom. The estate of the late Mad Cow Killer was recently auctioned off. The home and Dyson Beef were both now under new management. The new owner has just moved in to the house and this is his house warming party. The newest resident appears at the top of the dual stairs to welcome everyone. It's Jim's uncle, Vito Carbone."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (parts 17 and 18): "Jake flinched. He then placed his hands on the arm rests of his seat and took two deep breaths. 'Hi—Ed,' he said." (Part 18)

  • Doctor Who – An Ordinary Wednesday, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Miss Oswald,' Angie began. Miss Oswald interrupted her. 'I have said that you can call me Clara.'"

  • Edicius, by elainefr (part 17): "'I've gotten my applications filled out and sent in.' Daria answered Tom's reclining position."

  • The lattest shitty fanfic in the sences no daria fanfic should have thread (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So like, my sister is a snarky bitch who thinks she has all the answers. It's why I prefer to pretend that she's my cousin, distant cousin, who has no fashion sense and is living with us because her parents biffed it in a car crash.'"

  • Scenes, by JPAGC (part 4.2): "After exiting the elevator at the correct floor, Daria and Jane proceeded along the white corridors. Jane followed her friend, who navigated along the corridors without hesitation, passing obvious fellow visitors without stopping."

  • Shameless Self Insert Into Daria, by James the Lesser (part 6): "Daria, Jane, Adrian, and Andrea are in her room. 'Daria, this has got to be the coolest room.' Andrea pokes at the padding. 'I'm jealous.'"

Monday, November 18, 2019

As Least Black is Slenderizing


Tiffany's digging into the deeper, darker mysteries of life for Occult Day. Such mysteries include why horizontal stripes make your butt look big, how shiny objects became shiny, and how to spell her own name. Good luck on your own search for answers!

Today is also National Vichyssoise Day, so Quinn will probably visit Chez Pierre for some cold soup. Of course, anyone who wants authentic French food should go somewhere else. Anywhere else.

Fandom News!

Saturday, November 16, 2019

Mmmm, Cholesterol....


Daria and Jane are way ahead of us for National Fast Food Day. The Fashion Club will pass on eating any of that greasy food, but if we're (un)lucky then Quinn might favor us with a dramatic reading of her poem "The Greasy Fry." For a hilarious fanart take on the Fashion Club's hypothetical adventures with fast food, see S-C's brilliant Burger World.

Fanfic Update!
  • Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 6): "Daria and Dusty returned to the command post shortly afterwards. She didn't see Captain Clueless. She would have dearly loved to see him gone, but with her luck, she suspected that he'd gone to the bathroom or reporting to Justice Department higher-ups."

  • Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (part 8): "'Well, I think you look adorable.' Mrs. Bennet was saying to Clarissa as they crossed the parking lot of the Zen. 'I look like a dork!' Clarissa countered."

  • Edicius, by elainefr (part 16): "Daria shifted her backpack to a more comfortable position before taking a breath and heading down the road to take the long walk home from the library."

  • The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The small starship was in trouble. It had defeated the other ship, but it was out of control, entering the atmosphere of an M-Class planet at a rather steep angle. The crash landing was going to be terrible."

  • The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (parts S8 - S11): "The Dalheim Studentbolig had all the amenities of a Fielding dorm, which is to say, no amenities at all. However, there were some important differences." (Part S9) (Part S10) (Part S11)

  • Market Value (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Kevin, Mack, Jim, Chuck, Tony, Rev. Li, Chan and the guy with too much jewelry are seated at a conference table. At the head of the table sits a skinny red haired man in a business suit with a laptop." (Part 3)

Thursday, November 14, 2019

That's a New Way to Bring Glory to Laaaawndale High!


I see that Ms. Li wasn't kidding about that brief career as a dancer, but who knew she was also a Louise Brooks impersonator for Brooks's birthday? Of course, anyone who's seen pictures of the late actress/dancer knows that Jane's the one she looks the most like.

Today is also World Diabetes Day, and I really hope Mrs. Johannsen takes the following advice seriously:

Mr. O'Neill: You know what they say, a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

Jane: Not if you're diabetic.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, November 12, 2019

Pizza and Books? Yes Please!


Ted's having a lovely National Pizza With Everything (Except Anchovies) Day, but he's clearly stunned to find out that some people actually put fish on pizza. Wait until he hears about the pineapple controversy.

Today is also Young Readers Day, and while Daria fandom is more young at heart than physically youthful, I know we have more than the usual share of readers. Crack open a book and have some milk and cookies, okay?

Fanfic Update!
  • Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (part 7): "'Jesse, you CANNOT wear that!' Jane stated. 'Why?' he asked. 'Because.... It's indecent!' Jane couldn't believe he didn't realize that. Oh wait, she could."

  • The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (parts S4 - S7): "'It is time to pour the holy libation!' Larry 'Gambler' Harris and Francis 'Fitz' Pennington III were entrusted with the sacred oils, in this case a mixture of baby oil and canola." (Part S5) (Part S6) (Part S7)

  • Market Value (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "It's Thanksgiving and Jim and Kevin are standing in the driveway enjoying the cool November air. 'I love Thanksgiving,' said Kevin, 'You get to, like, totally stuff your face then burp and poop all you want. It's awesome.'"

  • Nun Too Holy, by 90eyes (COMPLETE!): "Jake couldn't help but chuckle at what he was seeing. Quinn of all people had started walking around, completely dressed up in a nun's habit, for some reason."

  • RelaTed (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Ted let the front door shut behind him as he walked out of the house. The fresh air felt nice and the setting sun was lovely. Even better, from outside he couldn't hear the agonized groaning of his father."

Sunday, November 10, 2019

Oorah!


Sandi's showing off her new haircut in time for the anniversary of the United States Marine Corps, which was established on this day in 1775. For anyone who thinks there's no possible connection between military action and fashion, well, you've never seen Sandi and Quinn fight over a blouse at Cashman's.

On a lighter note, today is also the anniversary of the TV show Sesame Street, which first aired on this day in 1969. For an absolutely charming fanfic take on the show, see Mike Xeno's "D is for Daria."

Fandom News!

Friday, November 8, 2019

Anyone See a Herd of Beautiful Wild Ponies Running Free Across the Plains?


Daria's old school psychologist is wishing a happy birthday to Hermann Rorschach, born on this day in 1884. Rorschach is the creator of the inkblot test Daria took as a child, and later referenced in "Esteemsters." I'm not sure what he'd think of Ms. Manson's methods, but I suspect he wouldn't be a fan.

Today is also the anniversary of the births of Margaret Mitchell in 1900 and Brad--I mean, Bram Stoker in 1847. Both author's most famous works, Gone With the Wind and Dracula, were mentioned on Daria at various times.

Fanfic Update!
  • Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 24): "That evening, during dinner, Quinn told parents about the discussion she, Daniel and the fashion club had."

  • Daria Does the DCU, by Lady Evil (part 1): "'OK, we did it.' said Daria to Jane, her lab partner. 'We combined my DNA with yours, struck it with lightning because apparently electricity can do any random thing, and we have created life. What she we call it?'"

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 31): "'Now you go and find us somewhere to sit.' Erin carefully weaved her way to where Trevor sat on a patch of grass near the string quartet. After distributing coffee, she sat leaning against his shoulder."

  • The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (parts S1 - S3): "Clayton Arbusto could hear the crunch of the grass underneath his boots as he walked under a sky the color of dead skin. He loved the place, loved the toughness that one needed to endure it but many times he felt like an explorer on the Planet of Texas, his own mind the worst of his companions." (Part S2) (Part S3)

  • Lovely Lindy (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Lindy and Lauren are in an office. Realizing that she needs an edge Lindy is turning to a sponsor. For expediency's sake she's turning to in laws, specifically Chris and Jim's uncle Vito." (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Lady Evil (part 2): "Jane had been looking forward to her stay in Metropolis. The restaurants and the art museums were all as great as Cousin Lois said they were."

  • Winter Is Coming: A Daria/GoT Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 14): "The doorbell rang. Daria wondered if the pizza delivery guy had come by and went to open the door. She opened it and Grandma Ruth was standing on the doorstep."

Wednesday, November 6, 2019

Four Score and Seven Goths Ago


Andrea is celebrating, albeit in a very stoic style, the election of Abraham Lincoln as president of the United States. I guess it's hard to feel celebratory when the personification of your holiday is a complete douchebag. Not to mention having to share a holiday with George Washington.

Fandom News!

Monday, November 4, 2019

Walk Like an Egyptian!


Either Mr. O'Neill knows that today is King Tut Day, the anniversary of the opening of King Tut's tomb in 1922, or he and Ms. Barch are into some really weird stuff. I hope it's the first one. Jake's still staring at that cereal box, trying to work out whether or not Tut was buried without his diver.

Today is also National Candy Day, so dig into that leftover Halloween candy stash! Daria and Jane might make another wager about the comparative quantity of ZooZoo Drops versus Juicy Joes.

Fanfic Update!
  • Back to Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 5): "Daria resumed, but was interrupted by a knock on the door. A couple of state troopers walking in escorting a shackled prisoner in a Texas Department of Corrections prison uniform."

  • Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (part 6): "It was the evening of the charity ball. A crystal chandelier reflected a thousand glistening lights on the gold toned walls of the Waldorf-Astoria ballroom. Melody adjusted the telescopic vision on the Venetian mask she was wearing. She had to find the Ambassador to Elbonia before..."

  • Eat your heart out, by wheresthequeef (COMPLETE!): "Jane placed the baby pink cake on the kitchen table, the small sound it made bouncing off the linoleum. 'Ta-Da!'"

  • Edicius, by elainefr (part 15): "'So Brittany is paying you to make her smart?' Jane questioned Daria once Daria had told her about Brittany's visit."

  • Fear Leads To Anger (Iron Chef - Halloween), by YouthofOz (COMPLETE!): "She was on her own. Home alone. Mummy and Daddy should have been there but they weren't."

  • Fire Rescue For Fashion Club (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by psychotol (COMPLETE!): "'Nine One One, what's your emergency?'"

  • Lawndale High: The Next Generation - season 1, by Peridaniel (part 5): "Philip dispassionately stared at the dessert section of the lunch line as he walked past it. Lime-green gelatin, vaguely ghost-shaped marshmallow treats, and cupcakes piled with too much orange frosting and a piece of candy corn in the center stared back at him."

  • Lovely Lindy (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Lindy is seated at the head of a large table. The others seated there were her husband, Chris, her infant son, Jason, Chris's brother, Jim, and Jim's wife, Quinn, as well as there seven year old triplet sons, Tommy, Timmy and Teddy."

  • My Pres Friend (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria waited patiently in McVicker's office for him to come in and start chewing her out. She had been a part of the assembly where she was one of the few hand-picked to ask President Clinton a question -- hers was about college, but finished with asking if he was just jerking around with the collective youth of America."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "Daria came to moaning. That groggy feeling would not go away. It felt like all the blood was rushing to her head. Her vision was blurred. She didn't have her glasses."

Saturday, November 2, 2019

Gimme a B! Gimme a O! Gimme a O! Gimme a K!


The Lawndale High cheerleaders are shocked to find out that cheerleading officially began on this day in 1898. That's right, cheerleading is old! Gasp! Horror!

For those not inclined toward cheering for athletes, today is also Book Lovers Day. I suspect most of Daria fandom will be celebrating this one, not to mention Daria herself.

Fandom News!