Tuesday, February 21, 2017

No, the Fortunes Don't Make You Look Fat


Tiffany's inviting everyone to come by to learn their fortunes on Card Reading Day, but be prepared for a long wait. When every word lasts up to three minutes, by the time you learn about your future it'll already have happened.

Fanfic Update!
  • Aunt Nauseam--the Facebook Edition (Iron Chef: Facebook episodes), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Sandi Griffin shared a link: Sandi Griffin's Dracula. Quinn Morgendorffer, Stacy Rowe, and Tiffany Blum-Deckler like this. Timothy O'Neill Sandi, please see me after class."

  • B.L.O.U.S.E. (Iron Chef: the Early Invention of 'Daria'), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Jake Morgendorffer adjusted his furry headpiece before he mounted the small stage in the second story of a haberdashery just off downtown Des Moines. He looked out on his lodge brothers new and old."

  • Consequences, by Zetor (part 2): "Brittany turned her head to look at one of the old analogue clocks that dotted the hallway as she hurried toward the gym. Just as she was thinking she might just make it to practice on time, she was stopped by a familiar voice calling out to her."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 12): "'So what happened when you went to the new counselor's office?' asked Gail. 'I got detention,' said Daria. 'The school counselor thinks I shouldn't have shoved Nancy.'"

  • Just Too Cute For Words, by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "Stacy riffled through the pages of the slick, glossy magazine that she'd 'borrowed' from her cousin. This was hot, this was so incredibly hot, she thought."

  • An Old Friend, by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "Jane looked around the conference table, everyone seemed satisfied with the Friday morning sit rep meeting. 'Is that it then? Are we all set?'"

  • A.R.C Chapter 8 Sighted by a condor, by ST91 (part 7): "Daria was tired, sick and tired because Romonica and Claude would not stop making her and the other teens try various modeling poses."

  • Someone had to do it, by Rémi (parts 4 and 5): "- Sheer, semi-sheer, or opaque? Textured! Comparing skirts in front of her bedroom mirrors, Quinn was busy at the important task of choosing an outfit when Daria barged in and asked : - Isn't one of you enough?" (Part 5)

Sunday, February 19, 2017

This Telescope is Reeeeaaally Shiiiiny....


Tiffany's trying to figure out if Copernicus, who was born on this day in 1473, was right about the Earth revolving around the sun. Either that or she's trying to figure out if the universe revolves around her, which is probably a difficult theory for her to shake off.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Fizz Ed," which aired on this day in 2001. At the very least, I hope Tiffany over there has worked out that the Earth is not, in fact, shaped like a can of Ultra Cola.

Fandom News!

Friday, February 17, 2017

Amanda Lane's Favorite Opera


Quinn's making a dainty garland for her head to sing an aria from Madama Butterfly, which premiered on this day in 1904. I'm sure Mr. DeMartino will be attending the command performance in the automotive department.

On the subject of singing, today is also the anniversary of the episode "Daria!" in 1998. The singing may not have been the best, but seeing Jake rhyme "Lexus" with "solar plexus" always amuses me.

Fanfic Update!
  • D. D. (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "It was Daria and Brittany's first visit to the Taylors in years. Steve Taylor, after years of tackling his dislike of Brittany's new 'lifestyle', had decided to bite the bullet and put one of his feet in the 21st century."

  • Dear World, You Suck, by Edgelord (lostlikeme) (COMPLETE!): "Halfway into a pepperoni slice at Pizza King, Jane drops the confession like a trembling grenade. Daria blindly reaches for the fries, trying to ignore how the yellow walls are pressing in on them."

  • Feeling Special (Random Pairing Challenge 2017), by mailorderannie (COMPLETE!): "Daria turned to her companion. 'I don't get it, Jane. You've got the entire course memorized. How come you can't pass the test to get out?'"

  • Harmonize, by Princess_Pasta (parts 1 - 3): "It wasn't enough to be the best. She had to be perfect. Sandi Griffin ignored the idle chatter going on around her, choosing instead to focus on her stretches." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • My beautiful striped bell-bottoms (Random Pairing Challenge 2017), by tjdolf (COMPLETE!): "In principle, Brooke enjoyed around mid-level popularity at Lawndale High, she was invited to a few parties and got a few dates. In practice, she was needy, whiny, wimpy and lacking in self-confidence."

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 37): "'Come in,' Valerie's voice called from the other side of the door that Jesse had knocked on. Jesse entered the room and watched as Valerie continued to pack without looking at him."

  • Places Flipped, by Leela (part 2): "Like every morning that she couldn't sleep in, the splash of icy water successfully jolted her awake. Putting on her glasses, she began to carefully examine every inch of her face for signs of wear."

  • Someone had to do it, by Rémi (parts 2 and 3): "Jane Lane sat at her desk, mentally preparing to relax while listening to Mr. O'Neill meaningless blatter. Everything was as usual in self esteem class : same bored students, same boring teacher..." (Part 3)

Wednesday, February 15, 2017

Rrrrrr...Candy!


Upchuck is a day late for Valentine's Day, for which we're all grateful. However, he's just in time for both Half-Price Candy Day and Singles Awareness Day. I'm sure he's very aware of being single, although no one is particularly surprised.

Not currently much in the way of fandom news, but I'll just leave this here:

Time's running out to vote in the 2016 Daria Fanworks Awards! You have until 11:59 PM (23:59) UTC 17 February 2017 to choose your favorite Written Works and Visual Works.

Monday, February 13, 2017

Ooooh, Format C! That'll Take Care of It!


Jake is having a great time on Clean out Your Computer Day, although I hope someone told him that soap and water are not recommended. Maybe someone at Buzzdome can give him some tips, if the company hasn't already folded.

Today is also Get a Different Name Day, so once you're done wiping every trace of your identity from your computer you might take Jake's advice to "walk away. You change your name, move to another state, get some ID. It's not too late to start over, Daria, it's not too late! You're still a young man! You don't have to live with your mistakes! Get out while you can!"

Fanfic Update!
  • Consequences, by Zetor (part 2): "The bell signaling the end of the school day echoed across the roof, rousing Brittany from her sleep. Reluctantly, she yawned and opened her bleary eyes, only to quickly close them against the afternoon sun."

  • Cynics with Hats (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Derek (COMPLETE!): "'Daria! Tom's dead body is in your room!' 'Oh, hey. How did he get here?'"

  • Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "Arcturus felt his spirits lifted after his visit with the local witch in the park. After waking Iago from his nap, Arcturus had him drive back towards the Hotel Aylesford. It being early Sunday afternoon, there was a lot of pedestrian activity and motor traffic around the local churches." (Part 6b) (Part 6c) (Part 6d) (Part 6e)

  • Edicius, by elainefr (part 2): "She woke with a start sitting straight up in bed trying to catch her breath. She closed her eyes and opened them again after groping for and then reclaiming her glasses from her nightstand."

  • First day at Lawndale High (Someone had to do it), by Rémi (part 1): "– Other state, other town, other school. All three are probably populated by idiots but it can't be worse than Highland. Am I supposed to give you some sort of pep talk ? – Nah, it will be okay, Daria. – Good. – You suck at it, anyway."

  • For display purposes only? (Random Pairing Challenge 2017), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Claire Defoe leaned into the storage closet of the largest art studio at Lawndale State. She was happy to note that the maintenance staff had managed to thoroughly wash the formerly bespattered cushions as she had requested."

  • Greater Love, by arandomshipper (part 1): "'Oh, Ben's here! Gotta go, guys.' Quinn waved happily to the other members of the fashion club, who watched with narrowed, dreamy, and blank eyes respectively as she flounced over to the car that had just pulled into the school parking lot."

  • The Letter, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "I'm writing you this because I am a coward. I'm leaving...after our conversation I know that if I stay there will be no wedding."

  • Places Flipped, by Leela (part 1): "She had already been awake for a couple of hours when her early morning alarm went off. Without so much as a sigh, she quickly killed the noise."

  • Standstill, by Princess_Pasta (part 13): "They crashed into each other, surging like waves in a storm, and she gladly welcomed the flood. It wasn't gentle or soft and she found that she desperately needed it, wanting to feel anything except for the numbness that had settled in her chest."

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Spill Some Milk and Make a Friend!


Jake's definitely not crying for Don't Cry over Spilled Milk Day, but then again he hasn't spilled any yet. I'm sure there'll be plenty of crying if he does spill it, though, especially if it leads to him almost burning the house down again.

Today is also a good day to make some friends, because it's Make a Friend Day. If, like Daria, you already have one friend, then take the rest of the day off. No need to go overboard, right?

Fandom News!

Thursday, February 9, 2017

A Toothache with Low Self-Esteem?


Mr. O'Neill has the remedy for Mr. DeMartino's toothache on Toothache Day, but I suspect it involves talking the problem out with the tooth over a cup of herbal tea. When he's done with Mr. DeMartino, Arno the hot-air balloon pilot would like a turn. I think he ripped open another balloon with his teeth.

Fanfic Update!
  • Crossroads (Random Pairing Challenge 2017), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "The Running Bet was a relatively small bar with low lighting and a quiet atmosphere, the kind kept alive by its regulars. It was surprisingly clean, the wood furnishings and long bar always kept well polished."

  • The Crudes ("Granite" Chef Challenge), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "Daria was lying on her ledge in the family cave, trying to read. Unfortunately that painting about the mammoth hunt was starting to get kind of dull after being on their wall for six months now."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (part 5d): "Kreacher reappeared in the hotel room. 'Well?' said Arcturus. 'Kreacher was a bad elf, master,' said the aged elf apologetically."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 12): "'Coffee?' he said. 'Yes, please,' she replied. He poured her a cup, stopping about two-thirds the way to the brim. He didn't know if she put anything in it or drank it black."

  • The Sirens of Conformity (Two-Eyed Charlie's "Wacky One-Shots & Misc."), by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "The year was 2081, and everybody was finally the same. They weren't only the same in terms of clothing and styles--they were the same in every which way."

  • Summer of Love (Random Pairing Challenge 2017), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Summer grumbled under her breath at the slow-moving checkout line. She'd stopped at Payday for groceries because she'd expected it to be a quick stop for everything she needed, but it quickly turned into a nightmare of impossible-to-find products, maze-like aisles, and unhelpful employees."

Tuesday, February 7, 2017

Yes, Quinn, but Did YOU Send Anyone a Card?


Quinn is the happy beneficiary of Send a Card to a Friend Day, which probably means poor Stacy is still giving her poems away for free. Incidentally, I don't think it's particularly cynical to suggest that this holiday was probably created by greeting card companies. Just saying.

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of Laura Ingalls Wilder in 1867, without whom we wouldn't have the Little House on the Prairie books, and Travis the hitchhiking cowboy would have had no inspiration for his tale about getting chased around a pasture by a bull. "Bull," incidentally, is a good descriptor of that story.

Fandom News!

Sunday, February 5, 2017

A Hurricane During the Super Bowl? Nooooooooo!


Never mind the Al Roker impersonator over there. Just because it's National Weatherperson's Day doesn't mean we have to pay attention when he warns us about hurricanes! What does science know, after all?

In more important news (at least as far as Kevin is concerned), today is Super Bowl Sunday. In the immortal words of Angela Li, "Go, teams, go!"

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 9): "Matilda was listening to videos from Carries channel on her smartphone as she typed out her reports on her desktop computer."

  • Cynic in the Matrix Mix (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Morpheus leaned forward in the booth of the pizza joint and coolly regarded the slightly-built teen-age girl opposite. He watched her eyes shift back and forth behind her thickly-lensed glasses between the capsules in his outstretched palms."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (part 5c): "He went downstairs with the idea of having a quiet meal in the hotel's restaurant and perhaps a solitary drink at the hotel's bar."

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (part 11): "It was Monday morning. Daria got out of her car. It wasn't yet drizzling, though she had run the windshield wipers once or twice on the way."

  • Lawndale Z Special, The Story of Jake, by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "One day out in the vastness of Otherworld Jake Morgendorffer sat cross legged under a tree on King Kai's tiny planet. He had his eyes closed and was quietly meditating."

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "Daria wasn't sure where she was, but she could tell it was dark and cool. She knew she'd been teleported, but it hadn't been under her own power and she was reasonably certain it was a greater distance than anything she could have managed."

  • This is my stop, by Honey-On-Toast (part 7): "Many times that night, Jane was sure that she'd managed to let her consciousness slip and whisk her away into some dream, however there proceeded to be instances in which demanded for her to keep batting her eyes open."

Friday, February 3, 2017

Birdseed for Travis, Mavis, Venus, Elvis, Chloris, Clovis and Posh


Um...Helen? Jake? It may be Feed the Birds Day, but I can think of less disgusting ways to handle it. If you feed any captive birds today, be sure to learn from Quinn's mistake and don't let them escape. You don't want to dig that out of the air filtration system.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

Gah With the Wind


Jake is looking good as the late actor Clark Gable, who was born on this day in 1901. I know the beard didn't work out, but maybe Jake should consider a mustache. It's actually not a bad look for him!

The February 1999 issue of Teen People awarded the Readers' Choice Award for "Killer Cartoon" to Daria. It might not seem like a huge honor, but neither was Daria's acceptance speech: "At last, the teen stardom I have craved for so long! I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. DiCaprio."

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (parts 5a and 5b): "'Where to next?' asked Iago. 'Whirlwind Drive,' said Arcturus. 'Time to have another go at it.'" (Part 5b)

  • This is my stop, by Honey-On-Toast (part 6): "Entering into the Lane household, Daria felt some sort of chill. Someone walking on her grave. As she was about to follow Jane up, she saw a familiar face, a scruffy hair-cut and ragged clothing."

Monday, January 30, 2017

Rrrr...BEEEEEEP!


Upchuck is planning to change the message on his father's answering machine for National Inane Answering Message Day, but he can't decide between these classics from The Daria Diaries:

"This is Charles. I can't come to the phone right now, because I am occupado. I could tell you what I am doing, but let's not ruin the mystery. At the tone, leave your name, number, and the time you called, and I will get back to you as soon as I can tear myself away from my life of intrigue, about which I cannot be specific, lest I put both my life and yours in danger."

"No, no...not now, girls! This is Charles Ruttheimer the Third, and you have reached my answering machine...please, ladies, patience!...speak clearly at the tone and...I'm on my way, my dears!...they so hate to be kept waiting...anyway, I'll get back to you as soon as possible...if this is an emergency, well, so is a woman on fire!"

"You have successfully contacted the underground grotto of The Ruttheimer Group, currently engineering our secret plan to achieve world domination by the year 2010. If you would like to know more about our plans to gain global control of mass media, subjugate the military forces of every nation on Earth, and install Charles Ruttheimer the Third as supreme ruler of all humankind, please leave your name and address at the beep, and we will send you an informative brochure and a free bumper sticker."

I guess he's a little late on that last one, but there's always next year!

Fandom News!

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Pride, Prejudice, and Pollock


Daria and Quinn are (most likely) portraying Elizabeth and Jane Bennett in honor of the anniversary of Pride and Prejudice being published on this day in 1813. I can definitely see parallels between Daria and Elizabeth's wit and sarcasm, but Quinn as kind and gentle Jane? That's a little trickier.

One hundred and five years ago today, Jackson Pollock was born. Without that abstract painter, Jane would have had no inspiration at all for her school dance in "Daria Dance Party." Oh, and we would have lost out on a lot of artwork, too.

Finally, this marks the DFB2's 3,000th blog post! Woo hoo!

Fanfic Update!
  • The Appointment, by elainefr (part 5): "Helen watched the brother and sister as they talked. Both showed remarkable strength, in her opinion. There were no outbursts of woefulness, nor was there the flooding of tears as she thought that there might be."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (parts 4c and 4d): "Arcturus was relieved to let Iago lead him away from the company of the Faux-Ceciley. 'I see you were busy making friends, Sir,' said Iago." (Part 4d)

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (part 17): "Eventually all six girls were standing on the castle side of the river, except for Jodie who was sitting on a large, flat rock. Ahead of them a small town lay in ruins, the buildings empty shells that had mostly collapsed under the weight of time and water."

  • A.R.C Chapter 8 Sighted by a condor, by ST91 (part 6): "'Seriously Jane, you look amazing! How did you do it?' asked Daria. 'It was easy, I just had to take some clothes from my sisters' wardrobe and apply some makeup.' answered Jane."

  • This is my stop, by Honey-On-Toast (parts 3 - 5): "Jane escorted Daria home, offering to carry the journal this time. It wasn't that late, but the street was dead silent, so much that the only distinct noise was from their clopping boots on the pavement." (Part 4) (Part 5)

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Uhh...Crikey?


Let's all say "G'day" and other cliches to Daria, the Australian fans, and anyone else celebrating Australia Day today. Aside from Jesse's Crocodile Dundee alter ego, I don't recall any other references to Australia in canon, but if you know of any I've overlooked then please share them in the comments!

Today is also National Peanut Brittle Day, so this would be a good opportunity to turn that leftover peanut butter from the last blog post into candy. Unless you're Jake, in which case it's never a good idea to do anything in the kitchen. Trust me.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Go Ahead, Let it Hijack Your Brain!


Daria and Jane are taking an unorthodox approach to National Peanut Butter Day, perhaps because Daria's gone off peanuts entirely after her stint at It's a Nutty, Nutty, Nutty World. Honestly, can you blame her? Jake, on the other hand, would probably be more than happy to whip up another batch of Thai peanut sauce!

Today is also Beer Can Appreciation Day, and I'm sure both Kevin and Ms. Barch's ex-husband (with his pyramid of "Beers of the World" empties) can get behind that one. I suspect that isn't the only similarity between the two, either.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 8): "Matilda had staked out a location on top of a grain silo at a farm on the edge of town, and settled in to scour the fields for aliens. Specifically that one with the stripy horns and head tails."

  • The Life of the Mind, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 4): "The sun sure as hell was bright that afternoon, and a soft breeze kept inserting my hair directly into my mouth."

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (part 16): "'Did the flowers make us fight?' Stacy asked. Nervously, she reached up and found the flower she'd plucked had vanished from her hair. 'Was that my fault?'"

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 34): "Brad had heard her when she came out of the bathroom, but he hadn't seen her since he had just come back from getting the delivery order from downstairs."

  • This is my stop, by Honey-On-Toast (parts 1 and 2): "What had started out as a relatively innocent task had developed into a reluctant exploration of one of the most infamous parts in town. For a solid 10 minutes, Daria and Jane stood and stared at the abandoned Lawndale psychiatric hospital." (Part 2)

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria Team-Up), by tjdolf (COMPLETE!): "The dull little town lacked most things, but at least it had plenty of sacred cows. What did these losers see in a miserable, talentless drug addict like Kurt Cobain?"

Sunday, January 22, 2017

Here Kitty, Kitty--GAH!!!


Jake's opening up the floor to Mr. Whiskers for National Answer Your Cat's Questions Day, but I'm not sure Mr. Whiskers feels like having a conversation. He strikes me as a "claw your eyes out first, ask questions later" type. Good luck, Jake!

Fandom News!

Friday, January 20, 2017

What a Cheesy Penguin Costume!


Clearly Sandi will do absolutely anything to make sure people notice her, even disguise herself as a penguin on Penguin Awareness Day. I wouldn't gloat too much, Sandi. There are members of fandom who might take too much of an interest in you now!

Today is also National Cheese Lover Day, so make sure you celebrate! Whether it's by wrestling Mr. DeMartino for the last Lincoln Cheese-Flavored Log or spreading the processed variety on pizza to share with Ted, there are plenty of Daria-themed ways to enjoy.

Fanfic Update!
  • Brittany's Equation (IC: Mix them up. DariaXDaria Crossover!), by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "Brittany Taylor was a girl on a mission. It was not military in nature, although Brittany had a hidden aptitude for such things. It was an act of friendship from Brittany, on behalf of Daria Morgendorffer."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (part 4b): "The next morning Arcturus felt the sensation of awakening in a strange bed and seeing light stream in through the gap in the drawn curtains."

  • Friends and More: a story about Mack, by 11tee (part 2): "The woman stepped into the pizza parlor and wiped her feet ever so slightly. A quick scan and then she walked toward an empty table sitting across the Mack."

  • Imprint (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria knew that her decision to marry Tom would be a difficult one, and not just for social class reasons."

  • I've Got To Be Direct, by Honey-On-Toast (COMPLETE!): "Since that peculiar evening with Jane during the weekend, there's been a noticeable sense of difference detected between me and her." (Part 3)

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (part 15): "Daria saw a multicolored light streak past, plucking Jane and Jodie out of their certainly deadly falls and shooting away towards the trees far below. 'Goth girl!' Stacy shouted as she zipped away. 'Quit falling and help me!'"

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 33): "'You talk to your sister lately?' Trent asked his girlfriend that was standing beside him, cutting the potatoes while he did the carrots."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria Team-Up), by 11tee (COMPLETE!): "She was sweeping the sidewalk in front of the shop. The shopkeeper, an older man by the name of Axl, was tending to a customer as a pair youth her age played on the sidewalk outside."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria Team-Up), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Jane couldn't keep the smirk off her face. 'So - dazzling academic achievement, eh? What a sellout.'"

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Beats a Mention in Val Magazine!


Daria's engrossed in a little reading about herself right now because fifteen years ago today, she was featured in an article in Animation Magazine as the series came to a close. You can read the article, including Glenn Eichler's comments about the show, to see what you think.

Fandom News!

Monday, January 16, 2017

Do QBs Taste Good with Ketchup?


You'd better observe Appreciate a Dragon Day, because Brittany looks like she's in a seriously bad mood. Either Kevin cheated on her again or she caught Brian playing with her pom poms. Either way, at least she's probably been fed recently.

Today is also National Nothing Day, so this would be a good day to ponder "the idea that the negative, which is the nothingness of being, and the annihilating power both together, is nothingness." Or just put on a black turtleneck and beret and call yourself existential. Your call.

Fanfic Update!
  • bones cast in a little low, by ashleykay (part 3): "Waking up in Penny's room was different, the small window spread only the thinnest rays of light, they barely reached the bed that sat like a couch where it was hunkered and low and seemed to squat against the corner."

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (part 10): "It was a cold January morning and Daria stood in her office staring out the window. The sun was barely up."

  • I've Got To Be Direct, by Honey-On-Toast (part 1): "I've been staring deadpan at my painting for nearly an hour. For nearly 2 weeks, I've been experimenting, a personal project so to speak."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria Team-Up), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria felt that she had truly been transported into another era by the man's tale. She felt she finally had her answers, but now it was time to go. 'Thanks for seeing me,' she said to the old man in the wheelchair."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria Team-Up), by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer's car slid into it's parking spot, and with a fairly audible crack she pried her fingers from the steering wheel. Driving in America was stressful enough, but staying calm while every muscle in her body screamed that she was on the wrong side of the road was a down-right impossible task."

  • We interrupt this broadcast to bring you this shocking popular report... (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "[Camera switches on/ Quinn smiles darkly into the night-filter screen]"

Saturday, January 14, 2017

Happy Birthday, Toulouse le Dreck!


Happy birthday to musician Dave Grohl, also known as the voice of Daniel Dotson in Is It Fall Yet? I'm pretty sure Grohl is a much less repulsive person than his character was. He could hardly be more so, anyway.

Today is also the fifteenth anniversary of the airing of "Look Back In Annoyance." Although it was, as Daria put it, "a cheap-ass clip show," it had a few amusing moments. It also revealed that Daria dated four members of N'Sync. Which member got left out, and why? We'll never know. Fanfic fodder, perhaps?

Fandom News!

Thursday, January 12, 2017

I Thought I Heard "Personality," but That Can't be Right


Spatula Man is here to celebrate radio personality Howard Stern's 63rd birthday. I'm sure Bing's somewhere around here as well--to Daria's chagrin. Don't worry, Daria, I'm sure another blast of your sour mood will scare them off. It's worked once before, after all.

Fanfic Update!
  • bones cast in a little low, by ashleykay (part 2): "She stood dripping at the phone stand. It soaked in the carpet and she thought of taking off her boots. Of going to her parents house. Of calling a cab and finding an Amtrack and not looking back. "

  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 7): "Matildas team had located the enemy stronghold, essentially a dormitory for a 'youth adventure camp,' which was stocked to the gills with illegally modded AR15s, various gas operated shotguns and ammo for such."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (part 3f and 4a): "'Merlin's beard,' said Arcturus. 'What happened?' The old wizard quickly moved to see what had happened to his house elf. As he approached the rest area's shelter, he was overwhelmed by a revolting smell, one that made him almost ill."

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (parts 13 and 14): "Daria lurked in a corner, checking her watch every few minutes as sunset crept closer and closer. The dance had been going strong for almost thirty minutes and nothing terrible had happened." (Part 14)

  • Returning Home, by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "It was a thursday. Thursdays were fine. Mondays were fine too, but wednesdays and fridays weren't so good. The weekends was always worst. Then he would just sit at home, listen to music, drink a beer in the evening and ask himself when he had stopped caring."

  • Too Cute--the Facebook Edition (Iron Chef: Facebook episodes), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Kevin Thompson updated his profile picture."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward), by UU (COMPLETE!): "'Daria, are you a team player?' 'Pretty much never ever.'"

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'...And so on Halloween the Great Pumpkin arrives in the pumpkin patch to give presents to all the good girls and boys.' Kevin finished explaining into his handheld camera while setting it on a tripod."

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Let's Give It a Hand...I Mean, Leaf!


The Morgendorffer houseplant is ready for Houseplant Appreciation Day, although I don't think anyone's really appreciating it in that house. I seriously doubt it's even getting watered regularly, which probably explains the missing leaf. Come to think of it, is it even certain that the plant is real, rather than plastic?

Fandom News!

Sunday, January 8, 2017

He's Typing Almost Five Words Per Minute!


Jake's celebrating Typing Day, although I suspect he leans more toward the "hunt and peck" school of typing than anything else. Still, he knows enough to crash his computer, so props for that.

Today is also Male Watcher's Day, which I suspect Jane will be observing with enthusiasm. Unless she really is just interested in getting a pair of those shoes.

Fanfic Update!
  • bones cast in a little low, by ashleykay (part 1): "The year had not let up, the winter and spring had limped along, staggering with terrible heat that left an airless feeling hidden behind every building."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (part 3c - 3e): "By now the remaining victims of the robbers, magical and muggle, customers and restaurant staff, realized that the robbers had been taken down and that the danger was over. Conversation began again, howbeit mostly with low murmurs." (Part 3d) (Part 3e)

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (part 14): "JAKE: I hope the kids are having a good time at Middleton. HELEN: It's a pity they get to have their hi-jinks while we wait for the Bursar."

  • Freezer Burn (IC: "It's not what it looks like!"), by neonhomer (COMPLETE!): "With snow falling on the ground, Daria quickly put on her heavy jacket and went outside. As she walked down the driveway to the sidewalk, she heard a rustle from a nearby bush. She turned to face the bush, to see someone kneeling behind it, trying to hide."

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (part 12): "Daria stomped down the hallway, turned a corner, and continued full-steam towards the school's front doors. She couldn't believe Jane thought this was some kind of fantasy or joke or, well, whatever it was she thought. Couldn't she see how serious this was?"

  • Not Playing dumb, by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "Daria could not believe her ears, It had started with Jane Lane accusing Daria of causing problems between Jane and her boyfriend, Tom Sloane, and now Jane's brother, Trent, seemed to think that Tom had designs on Daria."

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 32): "Their kisses were hurried fevered in the darkness of the room. No words had been spoken in the car ride…none were necessary. They both knew what was to take place."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by Waylander (part 21): "General Marshall Castelmore was killed during the siege of Hirtsaam by a stray catapult shot. Our source was unable to find out if the catapult was tampered with, but he confirmed that Castelmore announced his plans to retire from Crimson Legion and already named his successor."

  • Unnamed story (Roentgen's Jet-Pack Wearing, Futuristic Ideas Thread!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria waited backstage at the small theater in New York's Financial District. Her friends had pushed her into taking 'The Cynical Monologues' on the stage and she regretted it from the very beginning."

  • Unwanted Company (IC: "It's not what it looks like!"), by nightbeast37 (COMPLETE!): "'I don't know what you're doing around town without your fashion friends, but can you at least stop bothering me?' Tiffany had been following Jane for a few minutes."

Friday, January 6, 2017

Cuddle Up or Burn a Heretic!


Jake and Helen are looking cozy together for Cuddle Up Day, and it's too bad that this is just a fantasy sequence. They can make a very cute couple when they want to.

Today is also supposed to be the anniversary of Joan of Arc's birth in 1412. The heroine and martyr was mentioned in the episode "Arts N' Crass":

Jane: You're a real Joan of Arc, you know that?

Daria: Yeah, and I think I just ordered a stake.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Oxidizing Gravity


Jake's trying to celebrate National Spaghetti Day, but Helen's not making it easy. For starters, he's got the wrong kind of pasta. For another, it's hard to enjoy any food when you have to pick it out of your hair first.

It might be that Helen was just trying to give a demonstration of gravity in honor of Isaac Newton's birth on this day in 1643. Apples, penne a la pesto; it's the same principle either way.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (part 13): "(Car pulls to a halt.) JAKE: Why here we are girls! Middleton College. HELEN: It's like I never - hey! What are those men doing on campus? KATIE: Men? Where? DARIA: Mom, it looks like Middleton went co-ed when no one was looking."

  • Down By the Bay, by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "As I yanked a third offensive looking Hawaiian shirt from my suitcase, I couldn't help but remember a word of wisdom I had read in a book somewhere: never, ever let your parents buy you anything under the influence of alcohol."

  • Edicius, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "'Come on, breathe damn it!' (v/o) His voice sounded very far away. 'That's it; you can- do it-' She opened one eye, then the other. Slowly, Trent's face came into focus. She spit up water and coughed before righting herself into a sitting position."

  • Fashion (IC: "It's not what it looks like!"), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "As much as Sandi did not like to admit it, it all started with Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace. As little as she liked that fact, the movie was an eyeopener."

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 31): "'Ouch!' 'Sorry.....sort of,' she sheepishly apologized for being the cause of the back of his head slamming against the wall. Then, she kissed him with fevered passion."

  • A.R.C Chapter 8 Sighted by a condor, by ST91 (part 5): "That morning Daria would have preferred to stay in bed but she had a promise to keep. Also she was sure that if she had not got up her mother would come and would have dragged her by her feet."

  • Title redacted (IC: "It's not what it looks like!"), by tjdolf (COMPLETE!): "That feeling when a project comes together naturally. That feeling when someone has a great idea and is willing to pay money to have it realized. That feeling when a project is finished and has turned out great."

Monday, January 2, 2017

A Feisty Holiday


I think someone should explain to Upchuck that Run It up the Flagpole and See if Anyone Salutes It Day refers to ideas rather than to people. Still, I think that's a pretty good place to keep him, as long as he can keep his balance. I doubt anyone will be saluting, though.

Today is also National Science Fiction Day, in honor of author Isaac Asimov, who was born in this day in 1920. Daria and Jane might celebrate with another sci-fi convention, unless they think Artie might show up. If so, they'd be better off staying home.

Fandom News!

Saturday, December 31, 2016

Start the Countdown!


Daria's not interested in partying for New Year's Eve, but I know there are quite a few people out there who are glad to finally see the end of 2016. Whatever the future may bring for us all, I hope 2017 is a good one for everyone!

For some extra cheer, read the transcript of Daria's cameo on MTV New Year's Eve 2002 fifteen years ago. "And finally, let's try to make this the best year ever, or at least the least suckiest." That sounds like good advice to me.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 6): "'Matilda, your team has been complaining about having to use these Barbie hover board drones,' said the Superintendant. 'Because no self respecting cop would use such a thing?' asked Matilda."

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (part 9): "Once again getting off of the plane it was an advantage being in business class. Tom and Daria were allowed off first, which meant that they had a substantial head start getting to passport control."

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (part 12): "JAKE: (singing) I've been working on the railroad... come on, everyone, we know this one. (Beat, followed by grumbling.)"

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 18): "Jodie was one of the first back on the bus, and sat in her seat scanning the faces as people passed her by. She was hoping to catch Brittany and get the former cheer captain to sit up front with her and not go to the back of the bus where Kevin and Dawn would probably be sitting."

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (parts 9 - 11): "After the self-esteem class, as the girls were leaving school, Scarlett coughed to get the others' attention and then suggested, 'Hey, why don't we head over to my place instead of Jane's? My aunt won't be home yet, we'll have the place to ourselves.'" (Part 10) (Part 11)

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 30): "'Good evening everyone,' Scott, the manager of The Zon greeted The Spiral and their dates. 'Sup Scott? How's it going?' Trent asked with an arm firmly around his petite date."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Daria Christmas Party), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "Brittany was beginning to regret forgiving Kevin so quickly. As her boyfriend sloppily kissed and roughly groped at her, Brittany began to remember why she cheated on him so often. Unbidden, an image of Daria, came to mind."

Thursday, December 29, 2016

"My tongue! Dear God, it's black!"


Jake is whipping up a nice batch of pepper pot for Pepper Pot Day, although I hope someone told him that pepper is not the sole ingredient in the soup. We don't want a repeat of his Kitchen Sink Stew fiasco, no matter how amusing it might be.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

What Does Barch Think of Male Puppets?


Ms. Barch is looking classy as the late actress Marlene Dietrich, who was born on this day in 1901. Aside from this alter ego and their German last names, I'm not sure the two women have anything in common.

Today is also the "birthday" of Howdy Doody, who made his first appearance on this day in 1947. I don't know if the resemblance between the marionette and Upchuck was intentional, but Andrea certainly seemed to think so.

Fanfic Update!
  • Baby It's Cold Outside, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "'Come on, just a little while more,' Trent tried to coerce Daria into staying a bit longer. 'I really can't... I've got to get back...'"

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (parts 7 - 8): "The restaurant was really nice. The décor was classic Bavarian country style – even though they were not in Bavaria. There were various scenes painted on the wall and the beer was excellent!" (Part 8)

  • Murder, She Etched, by Sacred Dust (parts 4 and 5): "When Amanda came back into the dining room, she saw that Jane had changed tables and was talking quietly with Percy, the well-spoken young man with the book. Jane nodded to let her know everything was all right." (Part 5)

  • Saved By the Bell, or: The Unexpected Virtue of Sarcasm, by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "So there I was, coming out of the Mall of the Millennium with an arm full of Christmas presents, just about to reach the snow bank next to my parked car, when I felt the grip of a pistol smash into my skull."

  • Theory of Aesthetics, by Anonymous (COMPLETE!): "'Okay but so like, are there any paintings here that aren't totally depressing?' Quinn yelled from the next room over. 'Okay, but, so, like, do you even know what paint is for if it doesn't go on your eyelids?' Jane yelled right back at her."

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Is That a Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bit Costume?


Mrs. Bennett looks a bit too festive for Christmas, but I hope all you in fandom who celebrate it have a very merry one! To help set the mood, here's a (lengthy) list of Christmas-themed Daria fanfics for you:
Fandom News!

Friday, December 23, 2016

It's a Festivus MIRacle!


Mr. DeMartino is all set to air his grievances on Festivus, but he forgot the traditional aluminum pole. Still, we all know that he's going to exhibit a feat of strength on the window before he goes out for his hike, so it's all good.

Fanfic Update!
  • And a Giant Douche (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'I really should say something,' Helen said. 'Stick to the script,' Daria said with a smile."

  • Another Life, by Princess_Pasta (part 2): "'This has to be the stupidest thing you've ever done'. Daria stared at her reflection and it stared back at her with just as much annoyance, the moment both comical and pathetic."

  • Cute (Zetor's thread for misfit stories), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "Hey Quinn, How are you? It's been a while. I guess school is keeping us both busy, otherwise why wouldn't we be talking, right?"

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 45): "'Daria, is there some reason you weren't home last night?' Helen asked when Daria returned home from school, one carefully plucked eyebrow perfectly arched."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by Meester_Lee (part 50): "Lisbeth looked down the ship's corridor in amazement as Benjamin Sisko kept walking after walking right through her. She wondered where he'd go. If Lisbeth had opened the door to the Defiant's captain's cabin, she would have found that he hadn't gone very far."

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (part 6): "Tom and Terry were up before Daria and Maggie. The two men were sitting in the solarium or 'winter garden' on the back of the house and drinking orange juice."

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (parts 10 and 11): "(Sounds of a party. Lots of conversation and swing records being played in the background) KATIE: It's really spooky in here. All of these animal heads and trophies around." (Part 11)

  • QuinnxSandi, by yammcie (part 2): "'So although we have all agreed that this hipster thing is just a phase being brought on by poor inner city brains and weirdos, we can't deny that this "revolution" is damaging to the industry,' Sandi lectured to the three girls in front of her."

  • A.R.C Chapter 8 Sighted by a condor, by ST91 (part 4): "'Now Daria...' started to say Helen. 'I will not go!' said Daria. 'Please let me fin-' 'I said no! You can stop giving me my allowance.'"

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Some Light on the Darkest Day


Looks like Daria and her friends are celebrating National Flashlight Day, unless this is a weird method of observing Look on the Bright Side Day. Either way, both are reminders that today is the winter solstice--the shortest day of the year.

Fandom News!

Monday, December 19, 2016

It's a Strangely Disturbing Life


Daria's looking both retro and uncharacteristically cheerful here because this is a scene from the Beavis and Butt-head episode "It's a Miserable Life," which aired on this day in 1995. It showed an alternate reality Daria, who had a boyfriend and smiled and sang carols and made all of Daria fandom die a little inside.

Fanfic Update!
  • Another Life, by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "For perhaps the millionth time, Daria Morgendorffer found herself standing outside of the doors to The Zon. It wasn't her usual scene, nothing about grunge clubs or music appealing to her, and yet she couldn't seem to break away."

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 44): "'You picked up a guy in a vintage stationers while Trent was helping my dad and Jeffy catch the squirrelly menace?' Daria clarified when she and Jane had reunited for pizza lunch and a break-down of their respective previous night."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by EntrancedCat (part 49): "'Left, left, hard and up you damn idiots,' John Yossarian was screaming to the bridge crew as the Defiant shook under another blast from the ship which had mysteriously materialized out of nothing ten kilometers in front."

  • Daria: College Pains The Junior Year, by James the Lesser (part 1): "Daria is listening to Doug about the assignment she had given him. 'I found that all of them were connected to a new drug trial. Something that enhances a persons focus and removes their hunger.'"

  • Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (part 3c): "Iago watched in shock as the Muggle gunman brandished his pistol and waved it at the crowd. This was as bad as one of the episodes he'd been through in North Africa."

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (parts 4 and 5): "Daria stared out the window of the train. Outside was total and utter blackness. It was the blackest blackness she had ever seen. There was absolutely no light other than the lights inside the train car." (Part 5)

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (parts 8 and 9): "(Sound of students milling about. Trays clank.) BRITTANY: Ugh! I hate it when the trays are wet when it's lunchtime. DARIA: 'That which does not kill us makes us stronger.'" (Part 9)

  • The Life of the Mind, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 3): "I suppose I should explain the cliffhanger, first and foremost. I've read books and watched TV shows where they do that—cut off the action at the last chapter or the end of the episode, leaving the audience to wallow in suspense for however long the gap in production or page numbers might be."

  • Murder, She Etched, by Sacred Dust (part 2): "The bus rumbled down the highway, leaving Ashfield and the shadow of the mountains in the distance. But her daughter's memories, Amanda suspected, would not be so easily left behind."

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Don't Let the Wind Mess Up Your Hair!


Quinn's suited up and ready for takeoff because on this day in 1903, Orville and Wilbur Wright made their first successful flight. She's definitely going to want to fly away when Sandi catches sight of those pants, though. Very unfashionable.

Fandom News!

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Frankly, My Dear, I Don't Give a Gah Damn


Helen and Jake are impersonating one of literature's favorite dysfunctional couples in honor of the anniversary of the Gone With the Wind premiere on this day in 1939. Perhaps Daria and Quinn will watch it together again for another dose of sisterly bonding.

Fanfic Update!
  • Collateral Damage (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "Elsie Sloane entered the front door of Sloane Manor and closed the door behind her, leaning back against it and sighing as she did so. It had been another tiring day at school, with people still being unusually nice to her after her brother Tom's death."

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (parts 6 and 7): "EICHLER: From the very beginning at Mutual, I wanted to introduce Negro characters. Anne Bernstein's plans were to introduce two characters, a boy named Connie and a girl named Judy. Both would attend Lawndale High School." (Part 7)

  • Forget (Pasta's Never-ending Ideas Thread!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "A loud crack of lighting ripped across the darkened night sky, causing Daria to jump despite herself. She turned her attention away from the novel that she was reading to gaze out of the large picture window beside her."

  • Guardian angel-written (Robyn's Ramblings: Also Known As Robyn's Many Ideas), by tjdolf (COMPLETE!): "- You again?! - What do you mean, of course it's me again, Dawn cried. -Why won't anyone help me?"

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 17): "'Daria! Hey, Daria!' The short brunette frowned, turning to face the direction the voice was coming from. It was young, female, and familiar so probably a classmate but not somebody she spoke to with any frequency."

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (part 8): "Daria paced back and forth impatiently, frequently glancing at her bedroom door and then out the window. Someone had put the original knob back on her door, and now she was locked in. Whoever had done it had also replaced the bars on her window, meaning she couldn't escape that way, either."

  • Murder, She Etched, by Sacred Dust (part 1): "It was only supposed to be a butterfly. Amanda Lane stood back with an uncommonly grim expression and pondered the fate of her latest piece."

  • An Old Foe (Doctor Who: Ways Clara Oswald ...), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "The Doctor looked as Clara walked down the Street. 'Let me be brave,' she said. His emotions were in turmoil. How had it come to this? That Clara would be so reckless."

  • A.R.C Chapter 8 Sighted by a condor, by ST91 (part 3): "'So Charles has a crush on Daria,' said Andrea over the phone. 'Yes,' said Jane. 'And you knew it...' 'Since we crashed Brittany's party.'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Daria Christmas Party), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "As far as he remembered, the punch had a slightly... odd flavor. It seemed both sweeter and bitter than usual. However, he disregarded that in his nervous state."

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Which One Would That Cute Family of Teens Choose?


Mack is seriously regetting his decision to participate in Ice Cream Day, especially since it's the middle of December. Perhaps he would have been better off starting that ice cream company with Kevin that the Is It College Yet? alter egos claim they'll have.

If you have a sweet tooth but it's too cold for ice cream, then you could choose to celebrate National Cocoa Day instead. Quinn's whipping up a batch right now, just in case Lawndale gets hit by another freak hurricane.

Fandom News!

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Does This Mountain Make Me Look Faaaaat?


Tiffany's celebrating International Mountain Day by climbing one, although I'm not sure she's got the mental capacity to handle such a complex and dangerous task. The good news is that the thin air as she gets higher shouldn't impair her cognitive functions too much.

Today is also the 70th anniversary of the humanitarian organization UNICEF. No, Eric, you can't celebrate by suing them. I don't care how many pennies you'll get out of it.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 5): "'So, 'Make America Great Again' is taken and will likely be downright toxic next election, so we need a new four word or close to four word slogan that is just as catchy as it was last election,' said Carrie."

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 43): "The thing about having been good friends with Trent before they were dating, as well as being best friends with his sister, Daria found it a lot easier to go and just talk to them about the whole mess than to keep it to herself."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by Meester_Lee (parts 47 and 48): "Helia turned around in time to watch in wonder as Captain Sisko walked right through the Earth girl who was standing in the doorway of her cabin. The girl staggered for a moment, then began to come back to herself." (Part 48)

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (part 2): "Standing there kissing his wife Tom took in all of the sensations. The softness of Daria's lips was something which was part of her natural beauty."

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (part 5): "O'NEILL: And so, for tomorrow, I want you to make of ten etiquette dos and don'ts. BOY: Oh, Mr. O'Neill, Mr. O'Neill?! O'NEILL: Yes, um... you. BOY: Is that ten in total, or ten of each? Dos and dont's, that is?"

  • Ted Talks Trash (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'...and that brings me to reason number thirty-four why women are genetically superior to men,' Ms. Barch was telling her students. Science class was one of the rare places where Ted actually appreciated other people's tendency to overlook him."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Daria Christmas Party), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Jane Lane got to Lawndale High's first compulsory attendance Christmas party a bit late due to Trent's not-so-trusty blue flivver breaking down more often than usual on the drive over from Casa Lane."