"Darwin's the monkey guy, right? I like monkeys."

Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie are making an effort to recreate the Scopes Monkey Trial, which was decided on this day in 1925. I think they might have missed the point just a bit, but I'll give them points for trying.

Today is also National Junk Food Day, so it's time to load up on ZooZoo Drops, Juicy Joes, or whatever your unhealthy food of choice might be. Mrs. Johanssen will probably have some chocolate if she can get her hands on some. As for Daria and Jane? As if you had to ask. Pizza, of course!

Finally, this is the anniversary of both "The Misery Chick" and "Jake of Hearts," which aired on this day in 1997 and 1999. Both episodes delved into issues of death and mortality, both only one of them ended with Jake wishing a merry Christmas to a garden gnome.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the news about Senator John McCain's brain tumor.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Lucas McCain and Grizzly Adams.


• Read Roentgen's take on the new TV series from HBO: "Confederacy".


• Kuriamo22 is looking for Daria and Mack fanfics.

Guns and Guardian Angels

Upchuck is using very dramatic means to wish Samuel Colt, the inventor who made mass production of the revolver possible, a happy birthday. This may be a dubious honor, but think of it this way: without the revolver, Daria wouldn't have found that pink gun in her locker in "Murder, She Snored," and the episode would not have been created!

Huh. I'm not sure if I made a point for or against there.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Groped by an Angel," which aired on this day in 2000. No revolvers featured in that episode, but Quinn almost got crushed by a falling lamp and later completely ruined her new jeans, so that was pretty fun, right?

Fanfic Update!

• 5 Fanfics that Daria Morgendorffer Bookmarked (And One She Didn't), by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (parts 1 and 2): "'And you promise me that this is actually a thing people do to food?' Jane sent an eyebrow as high as it could go, fixing an inquisitive, perhaps slightly accusatory stare upon Daria." (Part 2)


• Everyone Needs a Stereotype, by YumeSin (COMPLETE!): "'This one?' asked Jane, showing Daria her old lady and the Tiger painting. They had been picking out things to hang in their dorms, cross checking with each other if it had been good enough to hang on a wall that was most likely going to be puked upon by their drunken roommates."


• Interview Powers (Iron Chef - the Raft Interview), by tjdolf (COMPLETE!): "The Bromwell interview had been shaky, but for the Raft interview she was mentally prepared. Trying to be. She knew what she was supposed to do. Pretty much."


• The More Things Change (Iron Chef: The New Canon), by Two-Eyed Charlie (parts 17 and 18): "There was shouting again, exactly like when I rode the elevator up to Jane's apartment. And like at Jane's apartment, the origin of the commotion just so happened to be exactly where I was going." (Part 18)


• Morning Run, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, Mackenzie.' 'Hey, Carlyle.' Julia smiled as she kept pace with him as they jogged along the length of the quarry beach below where Legion Tower stood, the reddish-orange light of the half-risen sun casting long shadows as they ran."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 28): "Daria and Jane were watching TV during a combined 'fun run'. It was a fun run because each was wearing a sensor array and each of them were running on an uphill treadmill and wearing pressurized masks that could change the atmospheres they breathed as they ran."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Sureia (COMPLETE!): "'Well? What did you do with the potion?' Quinn the Enigma shrugged, shuffling her feet awkwardly as the druid council stared at her in silent and occasionally tittering judgement."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by WacoKid (COMPLETE!): "One afternoon, during Road Worrier, Jane and Daria were standing next to a field. 'What is Jessie doing?'"


• Unnamed story (World's Medium-Sized Crossover), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Mack and Stacy were sitting in a bar. It had been a long time since either of them were in high school, but Mack had that sinking feeling. He had been her boyfriend for four years and he felt that he had paid for it, sometimes in blood."

Give 'Em a Hug and Take 'Em to Disneyland!

Daria's tolerating a hug from her parents for Global Hug Your Kids Day, but I have a feeling she's glad this is a once-a-year kind of thing. Jake and Helen seem pretty content, just as long as neither of them ruin the moment by saying something stupid like, well, anything.

Today is also the anniversary of the opening of Disneyland in 1955. In addition to Jane's ambition to one day work for Disney, I think it's a safe bet that Kevin will one day win a Super Bowl and announce that he's going to Disneyland. Or Narnia. I wouldn't put anything past that guy, honestly.

Fandom News!

• tjdolf is looking for The Fashion Club Massacre by Roentgen.


• Pay your respects at the passing of George Romero, Bob Wolff, and Martin Landau.

Snack or Art Supplies? You Make the Call!

Tom's feeling a little red in the face because he forgot that today is National Gummi Worm Day and he's mistakenly eating gummi bears. Oh, and because he accidentally wrecked Jane's art project. But mostly it's the gummi worms thing. I'm not sure if it counts, but Upchuck also has some wasabi gummi fish available to purchase.

Fanfic Update!

• The Ballad of Nicolas Cage (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "Nicolas Cage, Why the rage? Don't you know, you're not made of Sage?"


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (parts 20 and 21): "Late in September, Daria, Jessie, and Linda decided to get together and go to the movies. The Princess Bride had recently opened at the Highland Glen Theater and they all went to catch the early evening showing."


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 5): "'So Daria, you're being awfully quiet tonight,' Jane said as she and Daria sat in her dorm room together. 'Huh?' Daria turned around from her computer. 'I've been distracted lately.'"


• K.O.T.D (Kick Open The Door), by Vukodlak (part 1): "It was a dark and stormy night, a typical cliché for how these types of stories begin. The rain had not yet begun to fall but the loud rumbling of thunder filled the air. Jane Lane peered around the corner of the warehouse; this part of the docks district was under the thumb of the Rishi thieves' guild."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "It is hard for a human to imagine the plane of existence of the Devas. Many of the beings there are invisible, and they can only been seen if the divyacaksus has been opened and hear if the divyasrotra is ready."

Just Don't Ask Quinn to Read Her Poem

Daria and Jane are definitely going to participate in National French Fries Day, although they may change their minds at the last minute and order some "things" instead. Whatever that means.

Today is also one of Quinn's least favorite holidays, Embrace Your Geekness Day. As far as she's concerned, the only thing geeks are good for are setting up websites and giving her extra hotel perks.

Finally, today is the anniversary of the episode "Fair Enough," which aired on this day in 1998. I doubt the historical accuracy of the school's medieval fair, but it was still fun to watch Quinn get pummeled by turkey legs.

Fandom News!

• ognawk and Princess_Pasta have released a new Lawndale Lowdown podcast!


• Discuss Charlie Gard vs Great Ormond Street.


• What do you think about Joe Scarborough quitting the Republican Party?


• Meester_Lee suggests the idea of Stacy Rowe's older sister.

She Does Know a Lot About Cheering!

Brittany's doing her part for Cheer up the Lonely Day, and perhaps Daria will be along shortly to visit Mrs. Blaine. That is, if the nursing home will allow her in. Speaking of Daria, she wants to make sure everyone knows that alone is not the same thing as lonely, so please--please--stop trying to cheer her up.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria and the Event and Lawndale (Loop Number: 876538287985729768576287305877180987785343213863219864098654323456597893 76254456189) (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Lawndale, the town in the strange space where up could be down, the place that was bigger on the inside than it was on the outside. The town in several states simultaneously, such as Texas, Delaware and that place with the endless amount of corn."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 18c and 19): "Daria thought that a story like what happened at the Petroleum Museum would spread like wildfire: and so it did for a couple of days afterwards. It was the talk of James Elementary School, then it began to rapidly die down." (Part 19)


• Jane the Hedge-Witch (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Jedi Master Daria and Knight Quinn looked in disbelief at the smoking remains of the four-armed Sith Lord half in and half out of the crumbling hulk of the Lane's backyard gazebo. Inactive light-sabers were clutched in each claw-like hand or rolled harmlessly on the ground."


• The More Things Change, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 12): "It was Sunday alright, and what a great start to the day it was. It turns out that my dreaming self found the floor far more comfortable than Jane's fluffy white guest bed, or at least it did when I was in the middle of being unconscious."


• Perceptions, by Caesar Augustus Plutarch (COMPLETE!): "Frederick Trimburg (CWO4, US Army, retired) ambled from his back yard when he heard the automobile slow to pull into his driveway. He was not expecting visitors."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 27): "Elsie Sloane waited for her friend Melissa Vandyke to finish her classes at Fielding. After classes were over, they would hang around on campus until it was time for Elsie to go back home. Most of their chat had been about gossip and parties, but Melissa noted a change in Elsie's frame of mind."

"Yes, grunge was wrong, but you can't blame the whole state."

I'm a little surprised that Quinn has managed to overcome her disdain for grunge, but it happened just in time for Courtney Love's birthday! I'm a little afraid to find out what a song written by Quinn would sound like, especially given her poem-writing skills. At least she already knows how to rhyme.

Fandom News!

• Take a stand against fake fairtrade.


• Do you think Europe is a failure?


• Discuss the new movie, Spider-Man: Homecoming.


• Can you help DIsaac with a story issue?


• Vote in the poll to help BloodyWilliam decide who to draw next.

I Want a Damn Chocolate Bar, Too!

Mrs. Johanssen has gotten just a little too into the spirit of World Chocolate Day, but then again I think that's how she'd have wanted to go. I'm sure Daria and Tom will eat a few boxes of Quinn's chocolates in honor of the holiday, and given the opportunity I just might consider indulging myself.

Today is also a double anniversary for the episodes "Road Worrier" and "It Happened One Nut," which aired on this day in 1997 and 1999. Both episodes include an unusually high number of humiliations for Daria in front of Trent, as well as a slightly significant role for rodents--pervert squirrels in one, and escaped gerbils in the other.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 18b): "The teachers and children left the small auditorium and went into the first exhibit, the Permian Reef Exhibit."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 36a): "'Thank you! Thank you! Oh, thank you!' Dylan was even more disturbed than he was surprised by what seemed to be an effusive rush of gratitude from Millie."


• Of Inhuman Bonding, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'Wow, Helen! It's beautiful up here!' Jake said, staring in awe at the view. Helen, meanwhile, had noticed that they were directly on course to crash into a tree."


• Shadows of a Timeless Song, by Dennis (part 14): "If Daria thought she and Hermione had reached some sort of rapprochement, the train ride back to Angelsey disabused her."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 25 and 26): "'Funny,' Karen said, 'I thought these uniforms were a lot thinner. At least, they look thin on TV.' Karen shifted her weight back and forth. Even though she had filled out in the right places since she had started training, she was still slightly self-conscious about her body." (Part 26)

Perhaps Upchuck Took Her to Bikini Island

Andrea looks less than thrilled to be the model for National Bikini Day. In fact, if the person who talked her into the bikini is within range, we might be about to find out if it's possible to kill someone with a beach ball.

Today is also Workaholics Day, and Helen can take center stage for this one. I don't think it would be wise to show up for work in a bikini, though.

Finally, today is the anniversary of the episode "Mart of Darkness," which aired on this day in 2000. I don't remember anyone wearing a bikini in that one, but it did feature Andrea. At work. Specifically not wearing a bikini.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the lack of business for Keystone XL and what might result.


• RLobinske reflects on being as old as his father.


• Charles RB shares a radio show: Independence Day UK.

Quinn Has Finally Found Her Soul Mate

Quinn's getting a little too into Compliment Your Mirror Day, but then again, I think she probably does this every day. She is, no doubt, her own biggest fan. Of course, when the mirror starts complimenting you back then it's time to either see a therapist or end the musical episode.

Fanfic Update!

• Congratulations, by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "Daria steeled herself before opening the door, fully expecting to see an angry and accusatory Jane. She was surprised to see Trent with a big smile on his face."


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 4): "From the crossbow, the arrow was unleashed, striking the blue circle right underneath the foam target. 'Whoa, nice shooting, Morgendorffer,' Jane said, complimenting Daria."


• The More Things Change, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 11): "I expected steam and puddles on the roof, being that the entire Hudson River had been emptied onto the island and the sun had been gone for several hours. But once Jane and I shoved open the access door and stepped out into the night, we were met with a bone-dry floor and a clear view of its many rust-stains."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 23 and 24): "The Legionnaires finally returned to the Tower. There was really little else they could do except return back to HQ." (Part 24)

Care for a Pint of Bro and QB's Finest?

Mack and Kevin invite everyone to join them for Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day, although I'm not sure anyone can top "Firstdown Fudge." I'm a little curious about what the other (presumably football-themed) flavors might be. Any ideas?

Today is also International Free Hugs Day, but something tells me Daria won't be participating.

Fandom News!

• I'm dealing with some issues with the images on this blog, but I am working on getting as much as I can fixed. Thank you for bearing with me!


• Pay your respects to the late actor Michael Nyqvist and author Michael Bond.

Say Cheese!

Tom would just like to take this opportunity to wish everyone a happy Camera Day, but also to remind you all that if you wish to record your loved ones on camera then it's best to get their permission first. Quinn further adds that if you are requested to stop zooming, then for the love of God stop zooming! Oh, and she also wants to make sure everyone knows that her pores are both cute and tiny.

On another note, today is the anniversary of the episode "Gifted," which first aired on this day in 1998. Although Daria and Jodie ultimately decided against attending Grove Hills, more than one fanfic has explored what might happen if one or both had decided to go there after all. It generally does not end up being an improvement over Lawndale High, which supports Daria's point that "life sucks no matter what, so don't be fooled by location changes."

Fanfic Update!

• The Absolute Bastard, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The stocky man with heavy-lidded eyes stepped out from the armored guard post (to the eyes of most, it may as well have been called a 'bunker'), and let his eyes run over the old, yet well-kept pickup truck before he looked up to see the driver - a slender young man in a Navy service uniform." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Atlas Scowled Or How I fell in love with the Free Market (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "It was a dark and rainy night in New York city whose lights reflected off the dark low clouds. Daria quietly sat in the living room of the luxury hotel room she was staying at during her business trip."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 18a): "Daria counted on Jessie Markham's friendship as a given. Jessie was one of the people that made Highland tolerable, that they could talk about things that didn't involve boys or football, and that they'd both be there for each other."


• The Interview, by dmsfanman (COMPLETE!): "The two women rode up in the elevator and walked to Mr. Bergen's office. As they walked past the secretary Daria noticed that the door was open."


• The More Things Change (Iron Chef: The New Canon), by Two-Eyed Charlie (parts 9 and 10): "It was now late Saturday evening, and a noticeable layer of rainwater covered every inch of the island of Manhattan." (Part 10)


• Of Inhuman Bonding, by Kristen Bealer (part 4): "The Fashion Club was settling into their sleeping bags (or, in Sandi's case, the bed). No one had spoken above a quiet murmur since they'd come into the room, and no one had spoken directly to Stacy at all. Stacy said nothing, but the viciousness with which she was punching her pillow left no question about how she felt."


• Second Chances, by Lady Evil (part 5): "I wonder if he's forgotten. Jane thought as she walked up the steps. If he's asleep, I'm never bothering with him again! Before she could knock, the door opened and there was Jesse, wearing running shorts, sneakers and very little else."

Are They Keeping Track of the Visions in Their Eyes?

Jane and Trent are looking cool for Sunglasses Day, although I think wearing them at night might impair their vision a bit. Then again, when you're the reluctant guests at a hellish family reunion, perhaps you don't really want to see much.

Fandom News!

• MartinUK notes that the board is not parsing URLs that start irc://.


• Discuss Robert Murray's lawsuit against John Oliver and HBO in a new thread.


• ST91 wonders why Hillary Clinton is so hated.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: tafka's Iron Chef and JPAGC's the Raft Interview.

Chief Mack Daddy

Mack is looking fairly content as Sitting Bull on the anniversary of the Battle of Little Bighorn, which happened on this day in 1876. If General Custer was anything like Kevin Thompson, then I can understand Mack's good mood here.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Boxing Daria," which aired on this day in 2001. There weren't any epic battles or charges, but Daria did end up in a horrific multi-car crackup, whispering Tom's name over and over in a desperate bid not to slip into a coma. Oh, wait. That was only in Tom's imagination.

Fanfic Update!

• And You Are? (Iron Chef : Daria and Helen have the same age), by neonhomer (part 2): "Helen sat up, and shook her head, trying to clear the fog in her mind. 'What a nightmare!' As she forced herself to focus, she could see she was sitting on what seemed like a park bench. 'Where am I?'"


• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 28): "'We got all but twelve of them,' said Chris Haggard. 'What do we reckon they will do?' asked the superintendant."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (parts 16c and 17): "When they reached Sonora, they didn't go directly to their motel; instead Jake drove to the caverns. The caverns weren't actually in the town of Sonora, but west of it. To get to the Caverns, they had to drive west of town on Interstate 10 for 14 miles." (Part 17)


• Decisions, by elainefr (part 16): "'I have something to tell- well, show you- and don't freak out okay?' Daria said into the phone that she held level with her face."


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 3): "'Hey Ted,' Daria stepped into the gym. One of her classes that day had been canceled due to the instructor getting the flu."


• Finding a Needle (Hiding in Plain Sight (Alternate LLH, Plot Bunny to Kill)), by RLobinske (part 1): "Michael Fulton used a long-handled gripper to pick up the scrap of paper and bring it to his left hand at the opening of the collection bag resting against the leg of his Ark Museum uniform."


• Of Inhuman Bonding, by Kristen Bealer (part 3): "'...and no one told her! She did the entire interview with a giant hunk of spinach wedged between her teeth!' Helen was almost bent over with laughter. 'I can't imagine why she's never mentioned that part of her precious Rosalynn Carter interview!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef), by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "Superman: 'It's just what we feared everyone--Darkseid is on his way to Earth!' Aquaman: 'That galactic tyrant's thirst for power is unstoppable! But why Earth? Why always us?'"


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In the dark of night in the local cemetery, which for a town like Lawndale had a surprising number of mausoleums and marble tombs big enough to sit on."


• The Witches of Gideon Thurber High (Hiding in Plain Sight (Alternate LLH, Plot Bunny to Kill)), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Everyone was actually stunned into silence when she walked through the foyer of Gideon Thurber Preparatory Academy that Monday morning."

Feeling in the Pink

Quinn is celebrating in her room, also known as The Temple of Pink, for National Pink Day. I think Daria would rather keep her distance from this one, but she might like National Columnists Day, considering that was her chosen profession in her future story from "Write Where It Hurts." Perhaps she could write a column about the homicidal urges triggered by the color pink?

Fandom News!

• Talk about coffee culture in Australia or anywhere else.


• How many layers of 'verses can you connect with Daria?

They Only Do the Fashionable Yoga Poses

The Fashion Club is getting surprisingly physical for International Yoga Day, but I suppose they've gotta work off those carrot sticks and diet soda somehow. Too bad Daria went off the air before the advent of selfies, or the girls would most certainly be posting pictures of themselves working out on social media for National Selfie Day. I think we're all grateful for that missed opportunity.

Fanfic Update!

• 600 Years Afterward..... (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'I think it's a time capsule.' 'What's a time capsule?' 'Oh, it's some thing people did back in, uh, 19th, 20th century. You bury it for a few decades and they can see what the past was like. A no-tech Wayback.'"


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (parts 15 - 16b): "It was early June. The children were bored and restless behind their desks, even the better-behaved ones. It seemed like forever until the school bell rang in the later afternoon, but it finally did ring." (Part 16a) (Part 16b)


• Dylan, by J-D (part 35b): "'Those were two of the assistants from the production team for Miss Betty and Sally M', Rod said in answer to the question Dylan had just asked him. 'I was giving them directions. Mr Chung's given them a room to work from.'"


• The Gift (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Daria sat down at the kitchen table next to her sister for breakfast like any other morning. Helen entered the kitchen glues to her phone per usual but stopped and was agape at what she saw."


• The Interview, by dmsfanman (part 6): "Daria walked into the building at 8:59 am. Hattie was waiting for her in the lobby. Looking at the clock on the wall Hattie exclaimed, 'Good Morning, Daria. You are the first one here. If the others aren't here in 6 minutes they will be out of the running. Are you ready to do some work today?'"


• Magician's Code, by Crow-Black Dream (parts 1 - 5): "Charles 'Upchuck' Ruttheimer III was and always had been too poetic for most people. Partnered with flaming red curls and freckles peppering his large dimpled cheeks, this tendency toward speaking in flowery prose proved too much for any one of his peers for as long as he could remember, regardless of his inherent cheerful disposition." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)


• A Silver Penny, by Shiva (parts 1 and 2): "'Oh, honey? Don't drink from that big bottle in the kitchen; it's silver nitrate.' Jane's father said from within the only bathroom in the house." (Part 2)


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by WacoKid (COMPLETE!): "'OK, students, settle down!' Ms. Li called from the podium. As the student body ignored her, she grew increasingly agitated, until finally snapping."

Kiss and Tell

Helen is having a hard time dealing with the fact that today is National Kissing Day, but I think she'll get over it. Honestly, she looks less like she's shocked and more like she's trying not to throw up. Daria and Tom might need to work on their technique.

Jake, meanwhile, is probably having a fantastic National Martini Day, and might even have taken the opportunity to make an entire pitcher, with or without a visit from Aunt Rita. Don't forget the olives, Jake!

Fandom News!

• Share your thoughts on the passing of actor Stephen Furst.


• Discuss Southern Baptists denouncing the 'Alt-Right'.


• Lupin III is coming to American TV for (maybe) the first time. What do you think?

Or You Could Holler at Your Vegetables

Jeffy's in it to win on National Hollerin' Contest Day, and while he's doing pretty well I think he's going to have a hard time defeating either Jake or Mr. DeMartino. Still, points for effort. I can't help but wonder if he's channeling a little bit of suppressed rage at Quinn right now.

Today is also Eat Your Vegetables Day. If you brought a bag of vegetables to the "Food in Film" Festival to throw at the screen during Andre Sakarynsky's Last Meal, then you might want to save a couple of them for a snack.

Fanfic Update!

• Of Inhuman Bonding, by Kristen Bealer (part 2): "'What do you mean, you don't have it?' Jake demanded at the hotel check-in desk. 'One room, king-sized bed. Morgendorffer. "M" as in--' 'I've got this, Jake,' Helen said, stepping forward and gently guiding Jake to the side."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by WacoKid (COMPLETE!): "This year's Lawndale High Talent Exhibition had been interesting to say the least. Everyone was still talking about Sandi Griffin's boarder-line X-rated Burlesque performance of The Scorpions' 'Rock You Like a Hurricane'."

No Cookie is Worth THAT!

Okay, Daria, we get it. It's Smile Power Day. Now please, for all of our sakes, tone it down a few notches! You're freaking us all out here.

Today is also Global Wind Day and, fortunately, it's referring to the energy source and not Jane's oldest brother. I think the idea of multiple Wind Lanes all over the world is even more disturbing than Daria's smile.

Finally, on this day sixteen years ago, something significant happened in Angelinhel's story "61501." I'm not going to spoil it by telling you what it is, though!

Fandom News!

• The PPMB admins are working on the word censor glitch.


• Share the latest news about the high rise apartment building fire in London.


• Discuss the congressional baseball practice shooting.


• Share actual pieces of advice that you gave or were given when you were young.


• WacoKid posted two new Iron Chefs in Creative Writing: Jane's Magic Hat o' Romantic Destiny and Cashing In.

What's Cooking?

Jake's whipping up a special meal for National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day, but I don't think he'll have any takers to try it. I sense a pizza delivery order in the Morgendorffers' future. Don't worry, though, Jake; after turning your tongue black with Kitchen Sink Stew, the hot dog fiasco, and almost burning the kitchen down entirely, I think you've got the title all sewn up.

Fanfic Update!

• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 27): "As Carrie and Kira sat in yet another motel, they channel surfed, seeing the burning farm on every news channel."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 35): "Lawndale High was the first school in the whole State with bomb-sniffing dogs. What a coup! That would help to cement Mr Chung's reputation."


• The Interview, by dmsfanman (part 5): "Back in the cubicle Daria worked on completing her piece about the paintball fieldtrip. Daria looked at the clock on her computer when she finished her work. There was about 15 minutes left until the deadline."


• The More Things Change, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 8): "I would love to tell you that, when I finally got to my apartment, I entered with all the vigor of victorious General and marched towards my destiny like the subject of a religious painting."


• Of Inhuman Bonding, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "'God forbid I should count on anyone!' Jake raged at no one in particular, furious that Helen had backed out of going to the Eatertainment Conference with him."


• That Bitter Memory (Hiding in Plain Sight (Alternate LLH, Plot Bunny to Kill)), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The young woman - barely into her teens, with the occasional spot of acne and the lanky, awkward appearance of someone going through their growth spurt - brushed dirt from the sleeve of the painfully canary-yellow prison uniform she wore as she picked herself up from the ground."


• Unnamed story (Hiding in Plain Sight (Alternate LLH, Plot Bunny to Kill)), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'This is what we live for,' Chief Petty Officer Morris said. 'We are facing the most dangerous game. This jabrone, whoever he is, he isn't facing some gun-toting thug. He's facing the Navy Seals. The best of the best.'"


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 22): "Daria had told the Legion the prognosis on Bai Zheng. The plan was to depart at 5 pm and head back to the tower."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by WacoKid (COMPLETE!): "'OK, class,' Lawndale's history teacher Alexander Jericho announced, 'We have a new student joining us today. Daria Morgendorffer, please raise your hand.'"


• A Young Cynic's Mix (Black Daria), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "The woman finished putting sunscreen on a tow-headed boy of about five and directed him to play where she could see him. She stood up and smiled at Jake. 'So you're new in town? I'm Melody Ratzlaff.'"

Aloha! I Mean, If That's Okay With You, Sandi

Stacy's got the moves for Kamehameha Day, a Hawaiian state holiday, but I think Sandi might have a few words for her on the subject of her fashion choices. Then again, after Stacy's turnabout at the magic show, she might keep her mouth shut on this one.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode Prize Fighters," which aired on this day in 2001. Daria, Jodie, and Upchuck compete for a scholarship while Jake finds a few hundred new ways to prepare hot dogs. Care for a wasabi gummy-fish imported from Tokyo?

Fandom News!

• Post your thoughts on the death of actor Adam West.


• How would Daria being black change the show?


• Read Two-Eyed Charlie's review of Wonder Woman and share your own opinion of the movie.


• Vote in the poll for Deadliest Warrior: Special Supercomputer Edition.


• Kristen Bealer posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Family Reunions with the Rich and Famous.

"All hail, Pippi Longstocking!"

Daria's reliving one of the least enjoyable moments of her life, as seen in the episode "Pinch Sitter," which aired on this day in 1997. It was a very educational episode: we learned about Jake's distaste for Couples Therapy Night, we used the word indemnification in a sentence, and we found out that Hitler ate sugar. Not to mention getting just a little too much information about Helen's personal life.

Fanfic Update!

• Decisions, by elainefr (part 15): "My decision isn't meant to be malicious; I hope that you believe that. If anything, this decision is made out of complete and total pure love for all parties concerned... Look at you, so small, so perfect."


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 2): "'My Daria, you've been improving drastically,' Aunt Amy walked up to her niece who was practicing with Ted. Daria grapped with Ted as Amy watched. Finally, she managed to get a grip around Ted's waist and throw him to the floor."


• Remote Control (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'So, guess what?' Robert said. 'I'm going out with Quinn Morgendorffer.' Robert expected some congratulations, high fives, even balloons falling from the ceiling. They could have least rang a bell in his honor. Instead, his co-workers Roberto and Ross gave his a perplexed look."


• That's awful, but is it art? (Iron Chef: Vulgarity), by tjdolf (COMPLETE!): "The scene is Da Foe's art class. Upchuck comes in, bringing a huge canvas in wrapping paper. The rest of the class are already there, painting away. He unwraps it and places it on an easel, away from the viewers."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 20 and 21): "'It would be interesting,' Jodie Landon said, 'to talk to a two-thousand year old man.' 'Yeah, I suppose so,' Jane said." (Part 21)

"Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling? A-ling?"

Mack doesn't seem to be enjoying National Chocolate Ice Cream Day, but it might just be because that appears to be strawberry. Don't worry, though, in a few years he'll team up with Kevin to make millions on Bro and QB's Firstdown Fudge.

But looking back at the past, today is the anniversary of Beau Brummell's birth in 1778. Brummell's upper class status, good looks, and fashion sense would probably have the Fashion Club swooning, but I'm afraid the age difference is a little too insurmountable.

Fandom News!

• What do you think will happen in Britain's election? Vote in the poll!


• Two Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: peapotmaster's Sandi Griffin is Related To The Griffins Of Family Guy and tjdolf's Vulgarity.

Economists and Environmentalists

Mrs. Bennett just asked the class what economist was born today, and it's a trick question because there are two of them: Adam Smith in 1723 and John Maynard Keynes in 1883. The real trick, of course, is that practically no one in that classroom has ever heard of either of them.

Today is also World Environment Day, so, you know, don't pollute or anything. After all, "fashion is fun and everything, but we should really do something about the rainforest and stuff."

Fanfic Update!

• The Interview, by dmsfanman (part 4): "Mr. Bergen's office was in stark contrast to the rest of the building. It was large and clearly he liked leather furniture. His taste also included oriental rugs and antiques – and not antiques as in old half-broken office furniture!"


• The More Things Change (Iron Chef: The New Canon), by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 8): "Back in the Bronx, Brittany was ordering the two of us food and simultaneously calling up to Kevin to make sure everything was alright with him and the kids."


• A.R.C CHAPTER 9 Babysitting, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "Shortly after dinnertime the phone rang at the Hecuba home. 'I got it, this must be Daria.' Andrea said before answering the phone."


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Captain Marbles (COMPLETE!): "Jane was flying through the air in that super outfit from her fifth season alter egos as the announcer's voice filled the air:"


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "The four girls, two of whom were feathered, walked into the building. Despite the tree growing through the center, the walls were still lined with bookshelves, all of which were filled."

Happy Happy Birthday Birthday, Ginsberg Ginsberg!

So, this blog post was supposed to be posted yesterday. I'd like to give you an exciting explanation involving ninjas and bare-knuckled fistfights, but the reality is that I just forgot about it. So, just pretend that you're reading this yesterday. It's a very special time-travel episode of the Daria Fandom Blog!

Daria's doing a special reading of "Howl" in honor of Allen Ginsberg's birth on this day in 1926, but it's not going over so well. Maybe if she threw in some Melody Powers references it would be better received.

I don't think she should try reading it a second time, even though today is National Repeat Day. Instead, she should join Jane in a nice round of echolalia. Echolalia.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the latest terror incident in London.


• The Sidhe shared an article: The Dawn of Pax Germanica.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Worf and Boba Fett.

Got Milk?

Jake's going all out for World Milk Day, but I hope he doesn't spill it. Not because I'm worried he'll cry over it (although he might), but because I fear he'll set the kitchen on fire again if he tries to clean it up.

Also on this day in 1997, The Washington Post published an article about Daria. It's an interesting look at the show from the early days, and if you haven't read it yet I recommend it.

Fanfic Update!

• And You Are? (Iron Chef : Daria and Helen have the same age), by neonhomer (part 1): "Helen Morgendorffer sat at her desk as she was shuffling papers into order. 'Oh sure Eric, I'll be more than happy to come in late and finish the Hansen case.' She said aloud."


• Division I Recruiting, by Brother Grimace (part 1): "Mack Mackenzie glanced over at the pretty, light-skinned Black girl with the mass of shaggy, brownish hair tied back into a heavy ponytail. He noted that her friends kept turning her back towards him and the cadet beside him, and her blush kept getting deeper each time she made eye contact with him."


• The Interview, by dmsfanman (part 3): "In the conference area Hattie was setting up submarine sandwiches on a long side table. She had brought the sandwiches in from a nearby deli. A couple of the other writers were already there and looking over Hattie's shoulder."


• No Bad Deed Goes Unrewarded (Iron Chef: Mack's Dark Side), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Mack was fuming as he walked to school. How dare she? he thought as he stormed down the street. It's bad enough that she decided to dump me completely out of nowhere, but over the phone? First thing in the morning? She couldn't even wait another hour to tell me to my face?"


• On The Road, by elainefr (part 42): "'I really wish that you hadn't gone there Quinn,' Stacey told her over the phone. 'Max has enough going on- with the tour- and stuff.'"


• Tyranny of Evil Men (Iron Chef: Mack's Dark Side), by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "Mack pushed open the door of Lawndale's lone Blockbuster, a VHS copy of Muppet Treasure Island tucked under his arm, and quietly made his way to the return slot."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Far away in some medieval Fantasy setting. 'So let me get this straight....' Jane muttered turning to Daria and Tom."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by WacoKid (COMPLETE!): "'Good news, everybody!' Jane yelled to the gathered Daria cast. 'We're getting a new show!' 'What? That's amazing!' Jake said. 'When! Where!'"


• What really happened to Tommy Sherman (Iron Chef: Mack's Dark Side), by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "Tommy Sherman laid at the base of goal post in Lawndale's stadium barely conscious with the detached goal laying nearby. He had hit it going all out like many times in the past during his glorious high school career, however he never expected it to break like it did."

Honest Andrea

Andrea's looking very stately in honor of the Lincoln Memorial, which was dedicated on this day in 1922. Either she's rejected the goth lifestyle in favor of an unusual fad or she's found a clever way to get out of working at Payday.

It was also on this day in 1431 that Joan of Arc was burned at the stake. The event was remarked on by Daria and Jane in the episode "Arts 'N Crass":

Jane: You're a real Joan of Arc, you know that?

Daria: Yeah...and I think I just ordered a stake.

Fandom News!

• Pay your respects on the death of Gregg Allman of the Allman Brothers Band.


• The Sidhe shares an article about America's military contractors.


• Captain Marbles posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Mack's Dark Side.

Vroom, Vroom!

Stacy's thrilled to race in the Indianapolis 500, which starts today! I shudder to think what Sandi would say about her clothes and dirty face, but take a look at Stacy and consider whether or not she cares right now.

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of Ian Fleming, whose James Bond character undoubtedly played a part in inspiring Daria's Melody Powers stories. If I remember right, Upchuck is also a fan, which makes me wonder what his reaction to Melody would be. On second thought, perhaps we're better off not knowing.

Finally, today is the anniversary of the episode "Life in the Past Lane," which aired on this day in 2001. We got to meet Nathan, who is among the least-liked characters in fandom. But hey, at least he's more popular than Ken Edwards!

Fanfic Update!

• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 26): "The corridors around the dormitories had gotten a bit smoky with that acetylene cylinder had been burning away until Carrie telekinetically shut it off from the washroom."


• Daria's Life's Lottery, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "At least Jodie's at Grove Hill. There's one friendly face – also Upchuck's there, heyoooo – in amongst a sea of assholes." (Part 8) (Part 9)


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 1): "And so it began. After four years of high school, Daria was finally where she wanted to be, in college."


• Fidelity, Integrity, Bravery And So On... (Hiding in Plain Sight), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Happy birthday, Carlyle.' Julia Carlyle didn't even look up as Tobias Fornell tossed a package onto the table next to the chaise lounge on which she reclined. 'Nice furniture, kid. Teak?'"


• Greater Love, by arandomshipper (part 2): "A typical family dinner that night saw Jake alternating between blissful inanities and sudden angry outbursts, while Helen's attempts to start meaningful conversations were constantly interrupted by phone calls."


• Slap, by elainefr (part 1): "Slap! The sound could be heard from across the room where Jane was standing and talking two new prospective dates at the party that she was attending."

Ride, Janey, Ride!

Jane's blasting off into space in honor of the late astronaut Sally Ride, who was born on this day in 1951. The first American woman in space, the third woman in space, and the first known LGBT astronaut. In the words of Ms. Barch: you go, girl!

If space travel isn't your thing, today is also the anniversary of John Wayne's birth in 1907. I know Jake was a fan, as his collectible coins can demonstrate, but do we have any fans out there? Show of hands in the comments!

Fandom News!

• Find out more about the PPMB Refuge Facebook group.


• Keep up with the news on the bombing in Manchester.


• Two-Eyed Charlie shares his thoughts on an "1843" article.


• Vote in the poll for Deadliest Warrior: The Saint vs. Lupin III.

We Are Not Amused...Hey, Ziggy!

Jake is looking regal for the anniversary of Queen Victoria's birth on this day in 1819, but I have a feeling Quinn is mortified. Not because her father has taken up cross-dressing, but because that dress is soooo two centuries ago!

Hopefully she'll be able to take her mind off things with a visit to Chez Pierre for National Escargot Day, but please don't tell her what that means. She's had a hard enough day as it is.

Fanfic Update!

• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 25): "Carrie and Kira were now dressed in a spare set of their clothes and equipped with their Mac 10s, and were packing the rest of their stuff up."


• Daria's Life's Lottery, by Charles RB (parts 5 and 6): "You've never had a friend before. You weren't sure you ever would. You even inherit your first real crush on Jane's brother, who's a lazy bum but boy is he hot." (Part 6)


• In August Company, by ninjamouse1 (COMPLETE!): "'Now Angus, what do you see?' Mrs Manson, school counsellor of dubious credentials, no confidentiality agreement at all and terrible trouble with names in general, held up a picture of two silhouettes, one male and the other female, talking."


• The Interview, by dmsfanman (part 2): "Hattie and Daria walked into the writers' suite. The first thing that Daria noticed was the large conference table in the center of the room near the door."


• The More Things Change, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 7): "While Brittany and I were heading to an unoccupied table that just so happened to be coated in a wide variety of condiments, Jane was working her way into Queens to pick up her husband."

A Day for Andrea and...the Other One, I Guess

Daria's wishing Andrea a happy World Goth Day, although neither of them seems very enthusiastic about it. Come to think of it, maybe that's the point.

Today is also Buy a Musical Instrument Day, so this would be a good time for Daria to buy a new flute to replace the one Jake ran over. You know, just in case she feels like playing "Pop Goes the Weasel" again. Because that's a thing that would happen.

Fandom News!

• Share your thoughts on the passing of musician Chris Cornell.


• Join the conversation about the death of former CEO of Fox News Roger Ailes.


• Did TIME rip off a MAD Magazine cover? Discuss it in the thread.


• What do you think about the recently-announced Scooby-Doo crossover episode of Supernatural?

How Hard Could it Be?

Tom's inviting everyone to join him for Be a Millionaire Day, because of course it's just that easy. Then again, you know what? I'm going to check with my bank to see if they'll go along with this one for me.



Okay, I checked. They won't.

Fanfic Update!

• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (parts 23 and 24): "Dave didn't have a radio, when exorcising the possessed, it was important to have as few loose items on ones self as possible, so just the safety scissors, or just the blowtorch, or just the CS intravenous syringe, whatever he was using (in this case he was carrying a scalpel and a CS spray)." (Part 24)


• Daria's Life's Lottery, by Charles RB (parts 1 - 4): "You're already lucky in life's lottery: your parents are both educated middle-class white people in the United States of America, in the second half of the 20th century." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)


• The Interview, by dmsfanman (part 1): "Tom opened one eye and was enjoying just lying there in the bed. The cool air in the room and faint smell of bleach in the hotel sheets filled his senses."


• The More Things Change (Iron Chef: The New Canon), by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 6): "I didn't immediately regret walking into Nicoll's Bed and Breakfast, which I've taken as confirmation that I was, at the time, suffering from severe head trauma."


• Suckered, by arandomshipper (Giveadogabone) (COMPLETE!): "The last bell rang. Daria didn't move from her desk, in no hurry to go anywhere. She just continued to read her novel. She expected no interruptions."

Don't Forget to See The Salivary Gland Tumor!

Why not swing by the Museum of Medical Oddities for International Museum Day? Come for the skull crusher, stay for the Sliced Man. Ewwwww....

If that's not your idea of a good time, there's always the option of having a family reunion in honor of Visit Your Relatives Day. Uncle Max will be happy to explain why you're a no-good bum while Grandma Lane just wants to know what the hell is wrong with you. On second thought, I'd just go to the museum.

Fandom News!

• Derek shares his experiment with a tilt-shift lens.


• View and discuss the trailer for a new X-Men TV show.


• Kuriamo22 posted a stream of playing Tie Fighter.


• EntrancedCat muses on Raft College: The First Year by rglovejoy.

Let Them Eat Kitchen Sink Stew!

Jake hasn't lost his head yet, but since I'm pretty sure he's portraying Marie Antoinette here I'm sure it's just a matter of time. The ill-fated monarch was married to Louis XVI on this day in 1770, and we all know how that turned out. Quinn knows, too, although she's more interested in wine glass shapes.

On this day in 1999, an article about Daria appeared in The New York Times. Yes, it starts out discussing Dawson's Creek but it gets to Daria eventually.

Fanfic Update!

• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 22): "The witchfinder team met Gary as he was taking a break. 'Alright boss?' asked one of them."


• Her First Mother's Day, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Daria. I didn't hear you come in.' 'Side-effect of not always wearing the old boots, anymore. I see you got Quinn's present.'"


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 19): "Mack knew he should put his pants in the hamper. It was the adult, mature thing to do but he was feeling neither adult nor mature."

Happy Mother's Day!

I think Helen is overcompensating for Mother's Day, and it really doesn't matter, anyway--even if the rest of her family was at home instead of on a date, schmoozing a client, and eating pizza with Jane, they'd probaby die of shock to see Helen home from work. She's still one-up on Jane's mother, though, since Helen is at least in the same country as her own children.

Fandom News!

• How do you eat an avocado?


• Rank the Daria characters based on the difference it would make if they were removed from the show.


• Discuss your experiences with and preferences on critiques of your writing.

It's Like Groundhog Day Only Weirder

Quinn is checking to see if the calendar has any other dates besides May 12, which seems to always be displayed no matter what episode. Among others, that's apparently the day Daria moved to Lawndale and the day of the infamous Kiss. It could be an anomaly in the space-time continuum that will destroy life as we know it...or it could be that the Morgendorffers can never be bothered to change their calendar. Could go either way.

Fanfic Update!

• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 21): "The witch finders finally got their restraints off and picked up some nearby weapons, sneaking upstairs. It was daylight out, and there was nobody downstairs."


• Daria/Wild Wild West Crossover: Night of the Short-Skirted Cynic (Iron Chef: Daria Team-Up), by Meester_Lee (part 1): "She wondered later how her life might have gone if she'd turned down Tom Sloane's invitation to go on a cross-country trip to Wisconsin with him and his friend Bart."


• On The Road, by elainefr (part 41): "'Pregnant?' Max looked at Quinn's imposing figure standing before him with her arms crossed over her bosom and wearing an all-white Chanel Suit with soft gold adorning her ears, neck, and ankle."


• Unnamed story (A bit of a story about a strange shipper), by 11tee (part 1): "'You what?' Jesse looked at his father with incredulous eyes. 'I have a date tonight.' Mo looked at his son as he worked the hand-cleaner over his fingers. 'Something wrong?'"


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 17 and 18): "A group of cadets watched as a helicopter landed at the secure heliport controlled by the USAES. The heliport was marked not with the standard 'H' symbol but instead with a double helix and the roman numeral XXIV." (Part 18)

It's the Helen Express!

Helen's on the right track (get it?) for National Train Day, which is the anniversary of the pounding of the golden spike in 1869. I'm sure plenty of Helen's courtroom opponents have felt exactly like they were facing an oncoming train, and I do not envy them one bit.

Today is also School Nurses Day, so today would be a good time to have the never-seen Nurse Chase have a look at that skin rash. Although, given that she seems to be a bit squeamish, you might be better off leaving her alone.

Fandom News!

• There's a new Lawndale Lowdown podcast from ognawk and Princess_Pasta!


• Talk about the results of the presidential election in France.


• Discuss the firing of FBI Director James Comey and what it might mean.


• Are you watching American Gods? If so, what do you think?

Who Needs to Find Chechnya on a Map, Anyway?

Mr. DeMartino just got the bad news that there's no money in the budget for new supplies, so he'll have to stick with the ones made on this day in 1945, also known as V-E Day. I'm sure nothing important has happened since then, so he'll probably be fine. Frankly, most of his students won't learn anything regardless of how up-to-date the textbooks are, anyway.

Fanfic Update!

• Cops And Robbers And Magic (Non-Daria), by psychotol (part 20): "It was hard to make any assumptions about the time of day that the witchfinders would abduct Carrie and Kira, night time would mean fewer people around to witness the event, but if just one person sees something happening at night it's more suspicious than if it is seen in daylight."


• Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by EntrancedCat (part 55): "Admiral Daria studied the ship which had slowly come up on them. 'Another boat which sort of looks like some fifties idea of a spaceship. Didn't I read somewhere that the Borg actually got it right in Star Trek? A cube, cylinder or sphere are the most logical shapes for an interstellar vessel.'"


• Graduations, by dmsfanman (COMPLETE!): "As Tom walked out of the last presentation of his college career, he looked at his phone to check the time. Looking at the display he was a little surprised that he had not had a text or voicemail message from Daria while she was underway."


• The More Things Change, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 5): "There are a few things out there that I expected to happen to me at some point in my life. At least one of them involved drugs and a high-speed collision with a farm animal (don't ask)."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 16): "'He's headed this way,' Stacy said. 'Okay,' Quinn said. 'Stand back everyone. I'm going to hit him hard.'"