Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Mmm...Oxidation!


Jake's not so thrilled about National Pasta Day, but who could blame him? Perhaps he'd be better off with a simple frozen lasagna. It's also possible that he's celebrating Wear Something Gaudy Day, although I would think the holiday refers to clothing rather than food. We'll have to let the Fashion Club make the call on that one!

Finally, happy birthday to Mike Judge, born on this day in 1962. Without Mike Judge, there would be no Beavis and Butt-Head, and without Beavis and Butt-Head there would be no Daria. So I guess it's like of like he's Daria's grandfather? Or maybe not.

Fandom News!

Sunday, October 15, 2017

Watch Your Step!


Daria forgot her white cane for White Cane Safety Day, but fortunately she has a seeing-eye Jane as a backup. Or she could try just wearing her damn glasses.

Today is also National Grouch Day, which also suits Daria pretty well. It could also apply to Mr. DeMartino, Michele Landon, Mad Dog Morgendorffer...and pretty much half the cast of Daria, when you really think about it.

Fanfic Update!
  • An Annoying Paradise, by Resop (part 2): "Daria and Nichijo breath heavily at the bus stop. 'Why did we run for three bus stops when we could have just took the first one?'"

  • Dammit Daria, by SexshiTiTePaNtZ (part 8): "'Thats the last one for this haul Max.' Nick shouted from the driver's seat of the Tank. The black van guzzled like a drunken tiger when Nick playfully floored the gas pedal, 'Come on Trent get in!'"

  • David M., by ST91 (part 1): "A blue Lexus crossed through the streets of Lawndale to the local high school. Driving was Jake Morgendorffer, father of David and John Morgendorffer, his two 16 and 15 year old sons."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 11): "The end of October already? Helen went through her day planner. She used paper; she suspected that she'd continue to use paper throughout her career. She worked for the Goblins and magic interfered with electronics."

  • How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 3): "'I...have to go.' Was all she managed to say as she picked up her things and jetted out of the café before Kevin could say anything else."

  • Jodie's Interview (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'You know I didn't really mind that Senator DeWitt-Clinton liked my porno.' Jodie explained to the reporter, 'But what pisses me off is that he didn't pay for it. He just watched it on a free site. It takes a lot of hard work to make quality content for sale, and it really eats into my paycheck to have it stolen by online pirates. I've got bills too you know?'"

  • A Night In, by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "'Momma Quinn, Momma Quinn,' Lacey called insistently, her small hands shaking her mother awake from where she stood at the side of the bed."

  • Quinn, Episode 7: Intervention, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Jake at the stove working on another experimental dish. We see tentacles hang over the edge of the pot that he is stirring. At this moment, Quinn comes in. She sees what her father is doing and scrunches her nose in disgust." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Quinn, Episode 8: Quinn's Addition, by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "Ms. Barch is giving a lecture on mating habits in the animal kingdom. Ms. Barch: So, class, while most non-animal life forms reproduce asexually most of the animal kingdom engages in sexual reproduction." (Part 2)

  • Standstill, by Princess_Pasta (part 15): "Daria slowly padded her way over to the shower, turning it on full blast. She stood back and watched as the room slowly became shrouded in steam before she climbed in."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 51): "Without power and in the darkness of night, the helmet lights of the rescuers in their orange suits provided most of the illumination, save for one lone electric generator connected to a very powerful light poking its finger in the night sky."

Friday, October 13, 2017

Eep!


Jane and Daria are just a little bit nervous about Friday the 13th, but they should really know better than to give in to superstition. After all, today is also International Skeptics Day! Still, if I had to attend a school run by Ms. Li and interact with students like Kevin and Upchuck, I might feel a certain amount of dread about every weekday--so maybe their fear doesn't have anything to do with the date.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Party On and Get Out of the Closet!


Although today is It's My Party Day, I seriously doubt that Daria's willing to claim the party as her own. Any party of Daria's would clearly be a party of one, and even that might be too crowded for her taste.

Today is also National Coming Out Day, so if any Daria characters would like to confirm their place in fanon by revealing a previously-unknown sexuality, this would be the appropriate time. If you go by fanfic, that potentially includes every single character. Every. Single. One.

Fanfic Update!
  • Decisions, by elainefr (part 18): "Daria impatiently looked through the candy bars trying to find the one that just had to have."

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 9): "'Hey Daria,' Jane said on the phone. 'What's going on?' asked Daria. 'I'm not too shabby,' Jane replied. 'Things are getting pretty interesting between Eric and I.'"

  • Quinn, Episode 6: Sappy Holidays, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Mr. O'Neil in a crazy costume. In a lame attempt at political correctness he is wearing a stereotypical African robe (Kwanza), a fake white beard (Christmas) and a yamulka (Chaunakah). His attempt at multi-culturalism is a testament to his cluelessness." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 49 and 50): "Daria - "M" - wore her psionic regulator. She hated the thing, but she realized that she'd have to wear it if the Legion were going to make their incognito rescue mission a success." (Part 50)

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "All, my board is thinking of firing me. All I'm asking is to let me take the Mel Gibson option - let me get into heavy therapy and counseling, whether it be in a facility or somewhere else. A good twelve-step program."

Monday, October 9, 2017

What Rhymes with "Fire"?


Trent's all set for Fire Prevention Day, although I think Jane would be fine with just following the family rule about not starting fire in rooms without fireplaces. Trent should probably stop by the Morgendorffer house, though, just in case Jake's trying to set a roll of paper towels on fire again. Unfortunately, I'm sure Trent will either get distracted by some song lyrics or fall asleep before he does anything useful.

Fandom News!

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Thrift Sales and Card Making? It's the Cheapest Holiday Ever!


It's time to head to the flea market for International Frugal Fun Day, although if Upchuck is there I think a lot of the fun is going to be absent. It could be a good opportunity to pick up a new Annette Funicello album, though!

Today is also World Card Making Day, and for once I think we've found a holiday that wasn't invented by greeting card companies. Stacy will still probably be giving her cards away for free, though.

Fanfic Update!
  • Burned Out, by Wrabbit75 (part 9): "Sitting on her bed as she looked down at the lyrics she had written in her notebook, Jennifer snorted in disgust. It's all just crap! She thought to herself as she paged through the assorted works."

  • Crime Scene (Iron Chef : Total Recall), by JPAGC (part 1): "Detective inspector Tommy Sherman had long ago concluded that all crime scenes are bad, and he had never encoutered a colleague who would not agree. But this really takes the cake."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (parts 9 and 10): "There was little to do until Petunia Dursley returned. Professors Dumbledore and McGonagall did regale them with stories about Lily and James Potter from their school days." (Part 10)

  • Quinn Episode 4: Beauty Quinn, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Stacy and Upchuck, who were just caught making out by Quinn, shake nervously while Quinn stares in total shock and disbelief. Quinn: OHMYGOD!!!! Upchuck...your...hand...on her ass....Stacy.....arms around him.....kissing...with tongue.....EWWWWW!"

  • Quinn Episode 5: When Fashionistas Attack, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Quinn at her desk studying for a test. Camera zooms in to reveal a somewhat frustrated look on her face. Quinn: (Thought VO) Leave it to Mr. DeMartino to schedule a test on Monday." (Part 2) (Part 3)

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Beats Dying in an Influenza Epidemic


Do you think Mr. DeMartino is happy that today is World Teacher's Day? Well, look at that face and then you tell me how he feels.

It might make him feel better to know that today is also Do Something Nice Day...except that sounds like the kind of holiday Mr. O'Neill would come up with.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Mr. Green Jeans Better Watch Out


Brittany has extra bouncity-bounce today for the anniversary of Captain Kangaroo's premiere in 1955. It seems like a fitting match, considering a children's show is probably the most complicated thing Brittany's capable of following.

Fanfic Update!
  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 8): "It was still light outside. Once the woman stood up, Helen frowned. The woman had a horsey face and a long neck. Her hair didn't match, either."

  • Lawndale Wendigos (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So Daria?' Jane asked while wiping the blood off her face, 'How do you feel with your new dark powers?' 'uh...' Daria breathed while giving a thousand-yard-stare at the pile of corpses in front of them, 'I feel pretty good... I feel like I'm... invincible rather than invisible, you know?'"

  • Quinn Episode 4: Beauty Quinn, by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "We see freshman Sam Griffin seated at one of the computers. He is alone and stares intently at the screen. We don't see what he is looking at but we hear... Male Voice: (coming from computer) Ugh...Ugh...you...like...that...Ugh...Ugh...dontcha...." (Part 2)

  • Stargate Delicately Balanced Daria, by Meester_Lee (part 3d): "Daria had no idea as to where she should go or what she should be expected to do after she left the Quesnir's sick bay. 'So what now?' she said. 'Now we wait,' said Lieutenant Poole."

Sunday, October 1, 2017

You Can't Get Old Without Birthdays!


Quinn is living one of her worst nightmares for International Day of Older Persons, but the good news is that she's got a geriatric Joey, Jeffy, and Jamie to carry her dentures and turn Wheel of Fortune on for her. I'd also kind of love seeing Quinn and Sandi as senior citizens in the nursing home, sniping back and forth and critiquing the other old folks' clothes.

Also, happy birthday to Sarah Drew, who voiced Stacy Rowe and was born on this day in 1980. Instead of cake, I'll offer some birthday cookies in honor of National Homemade Cookies Day. Don't worry; they aren't shaped like hearts.

Fandom News!

Friday, September 29, 2017

Regular or Decaf?


Daria's all set for National Coffee Day, as long as Quinn doesn't catch her and start lecturing her about dark circles. She might want to save her lecturing for Jake, anyway, because today is also World Heart Day and I think I saw him getting the cooking pot out a few minutes ago. That can only end badly.

Finally, G'mar Tov to anyone observing Yom Kippur tonight.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 30): "Matilda looked at reports of robbery of small stores. You want to fight a war, you have to get money from somewhere, they picked up grenades from those white supremacists, and some cash and ammo."

  • Drake And Jane Diaries, by James the Lesser (part 3): "Jane... Went to her mom. She ran, hitchhiked, and whatever else until she got to her mom. She's nuts. Maybe back in the seventies you could hitchhike without ending up chopped to pieces but today... I'm just happy she's safe."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (parts 5 - 7): "There was a different receptionist at the front desk when she came in the following day. The receptionist did not take it well when Helen stated her business." (Part 6) (Part 7)

  • Life Cycle (Defect/Bug), by TalkingAnimals (COMPLETE!): "You feel...small. You wish you had a better emotional vocabulary; you actually wish you had a better grasp on your whole emotional register, period."

  • A Place On Earth (Pasta's Never-ending Ideas Thread!), by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "Daria Morgendorffer didn't wonder about the afterlife. By the time she was ten years old, she'd come to the conclusion that God didn't exist."

  • Quinn, Episode 2: New Horizons, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Quinn, Lindy, and Jane sitting on the floor. With the aid of Jane's trusty glue gun the three of them are making multi-colored mirror frames." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Quinn, Episode 3: Sibling Anxiety, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see a woman with graying red hair watching a baby play with letter blocks on the floor. The small child has on a green shirt and black overalls." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 48): "'This wouldn't be a very difficult alteration to do,' Danielle Todds said. 'And I could make it permanent.'"

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Why are you making me do this for you again?' Daria asked. 'Dah-r-i-AAAH? Who doesn't wish to be able to talk to animals?' Quinn said."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!) by WacoKid (COMPLETE!): "'Now then,' Ms. Li explained, 'The two of you are all ready to be students here at Lawndale High. But there's one last thing.' 'Is this another test?' Quinn asked with a frown. 'Or is it more story time pictures?'"

Wednesday, September 27, 2017

In the Absence of a Can Opener, You've Got to Try Every Option


While today is Crush a Can Day and Daria is probably getting desperate, I really don't think that strategy is going to work. If only Kevin, master of crushing cans on his head, were here. And that's not a sentence you see very often, is it?

Fandom News!

Monday, September 25, 2017

A Good Day for Books!


Kevin is reading his favorite comic book for National Comic Book Day, and I'm just shocked that I was able to use "Kevin" and "reading" in the same sentence. On second thought, it's very possible that he's just looking at the pictures. However, anything that puts Kevin in close proximity to books of any kind is to be admired.

Also on the subject of books, Banned Books Week began yesterday and I encourage every one of you to follow Daria's lead in fighting censorship. You could even maybe do more than yell at the TV if you feel like it.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 29): "'Tonight we have the first of many alternate party leaders debates, we have Carrie, Spine And Soul, we have Jill Stein, Green, Gary Johnson, Libertarian, Evan McMullin, Better For America, and Darrel Castle, Constitution, now, let's start this with a brief intro statement by each candidate, what are your parties about? Jill?'"

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 8): "'Hi, you must be Quinn's new boyfriend!' Jake opened the door. 'I'm pleased to meet you finally, Mr. Morgendorffer!' Kenneth Malone smiled. 'I'm Kenneth.'"

  • The Fights You Can Win, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "I hate leg lifts. I really hate leg lifts... 'Oh, stop bitching in your head about how much you hate doing leg lifts, Daria!'"

  • Quinn, Episode 1: Burger World, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We first see Quinn walking on a sidewalk. Her pace quickens as the music picks up. Next, we see her in the halls of Lawndale High talking with the former Fashion Club. This is followed by her being praised by Mr. DeMartino while Sandi stares daggers at her." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 4): "'We can set up another meeting tomorrow, if that's convenient,' said Minerva. Helen thought about her schedule. 'I'd be willing to talk again tomorrow, but I'm not sure we can do much business. It's a weekend, and I suspect that this MACUSA takes the weekend off like everybody else.'"

  • Standstill, by Princess_Pasta (part 14): "A light dusting of snow had already begun to blanket the ground and Monique cast a wary glance at the sky, keeping her fingers crossed that she wouldn't get snowed in at the library. She wasn't sure why she was even bothering; she was probably the only one crazy enough to show up."

  • Star Trek: Voyager: What a Choice Leads To, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Interplexing beacon detected. Initiating interface. Vessel Identified. Designation: USS Voyager. Alert!.Unit is not Seven of Nine Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix 01. Kes gave a small smile and began to search for the navigational data..."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 47): "To: Legion NLC1 Core Fm: Daria Morgendorffer Re: Results of voting; Upcoming Legion Meeting"

Saturday, September 23, 2017

Jane Would Prefer NOT to Celebrate Alison


Alison's here for Celebrate Bisexuality Day, but given her behavior toward Jane I'm not sure she's the best representative for this holiday. Unfortunately she's also (as far as canon tells us) the only representative available for this one. Oh, well. There's always fanon.

In lighter news, today is also Checkers Day. While the day doesn't actually refer to the game, I'd like to think Tom is sitting down with his uncle for yet another tedious afternoon at the Cove. Checkers is also known to canon as Kevin "King me!" Thompson's version of chess.

Fandom News!

Thursday, September 21, 2017

A Day for Grateful, Peaceful Hobbits


Helen is holding a brown lump of something vaguely hobbit-shaped in honor of J.R.R. Tolkien's book The Hobbit, which was published on this day in 1937. She should probably at least try to feign appreciation for the present, though because today is also World Gratitude Day. At the very least, I suggest she not start a war over it, because this is also International Day of Peace.

Fanfic Update!
  • An Annoying Paradise, by Resop (part 1): "'Are you even listening to me?' Startled, Asamura Daria (1) looks up from her book and looks at her sister, Asamura Quinn (2), through large glasses. 'Who are you again?'"

  • Neutral Ground, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked around at the slightly grubby, worn nature of the tiny mom-and-pop joint, which would have looked out of date in the 1970s, as David Allen (dressed smartly in his 'service dress blue' uniform - identical to the uniform worn by active-duty Naval officers, but with USAES insignia) followed her through the door." (Part 2)

  • Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 25): "'Begin the Gathering of Livestock' '...B-b-but that's insane, Daria!'"

  • Stargate Delicately Balanced Daria, by Meester_Lee (parts 3a - 3c): "The Quesnir came out of hyperspace at the edge of the star system above the plane of the system's plane of the ecleptic, then slowly made its way in-system, firing off probes towards two of the three large gas-giants that orbited what Earth astronomers would have classified as a G-class star well beyond the distance separating Jupiter from Earth's own sun." (Part 3b) (Part 3c)

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

Yarrrr! Have a Swashbucklin' Day!


Upchuck is being an extra-scurvy dog for International Talk Like A Pirate Day, because his personality alone just wasn't enough to drive everyone away. Instead, he had to add words like "wench" and "landlubber" to his vocabulary to make himself especially repulsive. In honor of the holiday, please enjoy Shane Greentree/Gregor Samsa's pirate-themed fanfics, "Esteemarrs!," "I Don't (Like Landlubbers)," and"The Plunderin' Of Don Jake."

Fandom News!

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Friends, Frenemies...Same Difference?


Helen just gave Linda a call to wish her a happy National Women's Friendship Day, and I'm sure she's already regretting it. Still, as far as I can tell, Linda is the closest thing Helen has to a friend. I mean, aside from her job.

Today is also Wife Appreciation Day, so after that stressful phone call I hope Jake is standing by with a soothing massage to help Helen relax. Or maybe a drink or two...or five. Depends on just how long the phone call lasts.

Fanfic Update!
  • Grab-ass and Gutter Talk, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Randy Novvak brushed back his sandy-blond hair, looked across the packed newsroom (and surprisingly so, considering the size of the area) of Global Gossip Today - and hoisted a smile to his face that would make dried milk curdle." (Part 2)

  • Second Chances, by Lady Evil (part 8): "Danny stormed away from the group to sit on a bench shaded by the cedars the hospital had been named for. How could he have been so stupid? How could he not have seen that a girl like Quinn would only talk to him if she wanted something?"

  • Shameless Self Insert Into Daria, by James the Lesser (part 2): "Daria is careful around Adrian when she hangs out with him and Jane. She knows she should tell him the truth about the gay rumor. The rumor disappeared quickly but his reaction is still etched in her mind."

  • Stargate Delicately Balanced Daria, by Meester_Lee (part 7): "'Hey, Daria,' said Jackie. 'I was wondering if you'd show up.' Daria wasn't sure what sort of crowd she'd been expecting before she sat down next to Jackie."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 45 and 46): "'Charles, no, I don't think this is covering old territory,' Daria said. 'I'm chafing under the limitations that we're being put under. I'm chafing over the limitations that I'm putting on myself. Yes, "this is an open would and I'm not letting it heal". But I think that the whole thing is leaving a sour taste in my mouth. I just can't let it go?'" (Part 46)

  • Where Did Quinn Go?, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "With a saucer with a pair of strawberry cheesecake muffins in hand, Raeleigh York escorted Quinn into the VIP conference room of the Continental Regency Denver." (Part 4)

Friday, September 15, 2017

It was QB Killed the Cheerleader!


Kevin, oddly enough, is taking on actress Fay Wray's most famous role on the one hundred and tenth anniversary of her birth. Either that or he forgot their anniversary again and Brittany is not taking it well.

This is also National Linguine Day, so pasta-loving Jake will be getting out the old cooking pot tonight. I bet equally pasta-loving Trent will be stopping by later to try some of his favorite meal, too. Just don't let it oxidize!

Finally, today is Free Money Day, and I'm sure Tom Sloane will be along soon to pass out some cash to everyone. Very soon. Any minute....

Fandom News!

Wednesday, September 13, 2017

But Is It Unauthorized Chocolate?


Daria and Tom are having a good time for International Chocolate Day, courtesy of Quinn--or rather, Quinn's admirers. I hope at least one of them is a chocolate-covered peanut for National Peanut Day.

Fanfic Update!
  • Shameless Self Insert Into Daria, by James the Lesser (part 1): "Jane Lane and her friend, Adrian Prescott, walk by a car as two girls get out. Jane takes a peek at the two through the crowd. 'Newbies?'"

  • Stargate Delicately Balanced Daria, by Meester_Lee (parts 4 - 6): "'So what do you think we ought to do about it?' asked Helen. 'I don't know,' said Daria. 'About the only thing I've decided is that I don't want to go public. I've seen what happens to people who say they believe in flying saucers and alien abductions. I've got enough problems without the ridicule. I don't want to spend the rest of my time here at Highland High being pigeonholed as a flying saucer nut case.'" (Part 5) (Part 6)

Monday, September 11, 2017

"Helen! What's the number for 911?"


Someone needs to tell Quinn that, although today is Emergency Number Day, it's not a good idea to call 911 for fashion emergencies. She's still ahead of Jake, though, because at least she didn't have to ask anyone for the number.

On a more serious note, today is also the anniversary of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. Glenn Eichler had some thoughts on how Daria characters might have felt about it in his interview with Kara Wild.

Fandom News!

Saturday, September 9, 2017

An Un-bear-able Holiday


Daria's not too impressed by Teddy Bear Day, but perhaps she's concerned because that particular bear is full of honey instead of cuddly stuffing. Still, beats being surprised by a real bear, in my opinion.

Today also marks seven years since I temporarily took over posting on the Daria Fandom Blog II. No, really, it's a temporary gig, I swear. I can quit any time.

Fanfic Update!
  • Blizzard, by peetz5050 (part 2): "'You'd almost think they were waiting for us to come out of town, wouldn't you?' Daria asked as they battled a fresh batch of ravening revenants which had assaulted the barricades moments before."

  • Clarity, by Brother Grimace (part 1): "Elsie gave the barest shake of her head as she saw who was waiting for her... Oh, being in that cornfield has so lowered you."

  • A Night In, by Zetor (part 2): "Lacey was having a great night. Building and planning the circus had been tons of fun; she was good at putting things together and Lizzy was great at making up stories."

  • A totally normal morning (LLH - Short Entries), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "It was a totally normal saturday morning. Kelly wasn't hungover, she only ever drank water and soda on parties, she had breakfast and the sun was shining. All in all, it was a very fine day."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 42 - 44): "Angier and Mack were finishing up the 18th hole. It was what Mack's grandmother used to call 'a blessed sunny day'. Even though he was a trained athlete, he was still getting used to the subtleties of golf." (Part 43) (Part 44)

Thursday, September 7, 2017

Not One of Ms. Barch's Favorite Days, I'm Sure


Brittany's serving the drinks on National Beer Lover's Day, and I know quite a few Daria characters will want in on the fun: Doug and Kevin Thompson, Ms. Barch's ex-husband, the frat boys from Middleton, and even former St. Peter Girl beer model Ashley-Amber. Jake, who has nothing but disdain for Mad Dog's drink of choice, will stick to martinis.

And what could go better with beer than sports? Today is the thirty-eighth anniversary of ESPN's launch, so the guys can choose between that or the Pigskin Channel.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, September 5, 2017

A Cheesy Holiday


Sorry, Ted, but it's Cheese Pizza Day and your slice clearly has toppings on it. Half-credit because you did remember the processed cheese, especially because by now you've probably figured out the exact process by which it's made and you were brave enough to eat it anyway.

Today is also Be Late for Something Day, and it's a sure bet that Trent will celebrate this one. Hmmm. Is there a "Be Late for Everything" holiday?

Fanfic Update!
  • Blizzard, by peetz5050 (part 1): "'Alright, yes I am grumpy, thank you.' Daria replied to Jane's mild criticism."

  • Lawndale Z, by Kuriamo22 (part 9): "A while after Jane and Daria split up Jane had returned to the cave with their capsule house and buried the Dragonball they stole from Frieza nearby. While she was waiting outside and admiring the strange blue green grass of Namek she heard a beeping noise coming from her jacket pocket."

  • My Darlin' Daria! (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria: My name is Daria, I'm six years old... [inhales before dramatically declaring] And i'm a beauty queen!"

  • Open Gym, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'So, Mack - I thought football was your game.' 'Hey, Sarge. Football's my thing - but I try to make it over here for "open gym" at least twice a week, to hang out with the kids.'"

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 39 - 41): "The Fukunaga Manufacturing Concern shut the plant doors for one shift. The workers had been told that as a result of total quality management, there would be a necessary upgrade to the manufacturing software that required taking every computer-assisted manufacturing process off-line." (Part 40) (Part 41)

Sunday, September 3, 2017

Click, Click, Buy!


Quinn just discovered eBay, exactly twenty-two years after the company was founded. Now that she knows you can shop for clothes online, she may never leave her room again. I don't think Daria would complain if that happened, but Helen and Jake's credit cards may never recover from the experience.

Fandom News!

Friday, September 1, 2017

We Can Do It! We Just Don't Feel Like It Right Now.


Daria and Jane are doing their part for the war effort, as World War II officially started on this day in 1939. I'm sure Mr. DeMartino has his own unique take on the subject, but I wouldn't recommend asking him about it unless you're prepared for a lot of shouting and eye twitches. That goes double for you two, Brittany and Kevin!

Today is also the twenty-third anniversary of the TV mini-series The Head, which began airing on this day in 1994. This is notable to fandom because it's linked to Daria through both a Beavis and Butt-head crossover and the background character on the show who wears a t-shirt featuring The Head. Don't think too hard about how both of those things can both exist; it gives me a headache when I try.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Adventure of the Accidental and Transitory Book Club, by Blake C Stacey (COMPLETE!): "She never knew why Axl had rented a room at the Motel Nine, filled it with booze and invited two bands' worth of friends from the Dega Street crew over to drink it away."

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 7): "'Are you okay, Daria?' asked Aunt Amy. 'I'm still a little shell shocked but otherwise still ticking,' Daria nodded. She was with her aunt now."

  • Greater Love, by arandomshipper (part 3): "'Quinn, wait up!' Quinn stopped with her hand on the door handle, and looked at Daria quizzically. 'Where are you going?' 'Oh,' She smiled dreamily. 'Ben said it'd be easier for him to pick me up on the corner a few blocks away, so I'm going to walk over there and wait for him.'"

  • Just Say U.N.C.L.E., by Captain Marbles (part 1): "After the news report had finished, Karen touched a certain button on her remote. 'Report, "Alchemist",' said Queue. 'I ran into a little...interference,' Alchemist replied."

  • The Legionnaires and the Teen Star, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Bet you a thousand bucks that Tom'll blow a blood vessel when he hears about missing this. A major TV star, and a cute one, too.'"

  • The Ownership Society (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Jane!' This was much more animated that Daria ever got in a phone call. Jane perked up. 'Yup?' 'Get over to my house right now! I'll explain later, just get over here right now!'"

  • Second Chances, by Lady Evil (part 7): "Trent had some last minute instructions for Jane. 'Slash needs three drops of the vitamin formula mixed in with his food.' he told her, pocketing his wallet and car keys. 'Mix his worm pill in too. If he spits it out, just hide it in a hot dog and try again.'"

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 37 and 38): "'The rescue teams are overwhelmed,' Daria said, 'and you know it.' 'Nevertheless,' Kyle Armalin said, 'I strongly advice the Legionnaires not to come here. We have at least eight dead here and catastrophic flooding. Some areas have over three feet of flooding, and unless you are an expert in swiftwater search and rescue, you don't want to come here.'" (Part 38)


Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Junk Food and Monsters


Jane's in costume for Frankenstein Day, or at least I hope that's a costume. There's trying a new look and then there's just plain freaky.

Today is also both Toasted Marshmallow Day and International Bacon Day, so we can enjoy a variety of culinary delights. I'm not sure about combining the two, but feel free if you're in the mood. Seems like a very Jake-esque thing to do, doesn't it?

Fandom News!

Monday, August 28, 2017

On Your Mark, Get Set, Squeak!


Roger the Mouse is ready for his big moment on Race Your Mouse Day, but wants to make sure Brian Taylor is nowhere to be seen before the race starts. Can you really blame him? Although that would be one way to motivate him to run fast.

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of Leo Tolstoy on this day in 1828. Even though we'll never see that unwritten sequel to War and Peace, it's pretty likely that Aunt Amy is a fan per Rita's comment about her reading "those weird Russian novels."

Fanfic Update!
  • The Cop and The Criminal, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "A tired and sore Karen eked out of the elevator, and somehow managed to guide herself towards the comfort of a very large couch before her legs decided that they didn't want to work for her anymore. 'I see you met Sergeant Nemec.'"

  • Daria Crossover Untitled, by macross (part 1): "'Ms. Morgendorffer will you please get a move on, and take a seat?' Daria Jerked her head back in surprise at the sound of her Principal Ms. Angela Lee. She had been lost in thought and had been standing in the charter bus aisle far too long."

  • How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 2): "I don't know HOW I ended up here but I need to get out NOW! Those were her first thoughts when she woke up the next morning to find herself with a massive hangover and in bed with Kevin Thompson."

  • Lost and Found, by Princess_Pasta (part 2): "It was just past 12:00 AM when Elsie's cell started to buzz. She groaned in protest as she tried to pull herself from her tangle of sheets, none too happy about being woken up."

  • Monkey Business, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "The rest of the kids made their way down and began hovering worriedly over Mikey. Charlie even let slip a few sympathetic tears of his own. 'We should really find a grown-up,' Jodie said fretfully. 'Can we go get a grown-up now?'"

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 45): "'Hey.' 'Did you see Quinn? Is she okay?' Trent looked at his girl on the video chat screen and traced her face with the pad of his thumb."

  • Poaching Talent (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Jane brought the tray of burritos out onto the bar. 'Here we go! Empanadas a la Lane!' 'Thanks, Jane,' Daria said. 'Although if you told me that you'd ever have a Super Bowl party when we were in high school, I would have had to seek other friends.'"

  • Shadows of a Timeless Song, by Dennis (part 15): "Daria's first sight of Castell Dinas Bran was dismaying, to put it mildly. The mossy hill on which it sat at first appeared empty as they approached."

  • Telepaths and Snacks, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'I've seen documentaries about lions feeding that turned my stomach less than this.' Daria turned away from the sight of a large group of cadets - about fifty or so - as they ate at the cafeteria tables prepared for them."

  • That Summer, by The Central Scrutinizer (part 18): "Jeffy looked up from the computer behind the counter. He noticed Cohle sitting in a chair near the main entrance. He was wearing a jacket and tie, had a small bouquet of flowers and a bottle in his lap, and was worrying an unlit cigarette between his fingers."

Saturday, August 26, 2017

Jake Could Write Songs for Dogs!


Be extra careful on the road today for National Dog Day, especially if you have poor peripheral vision. Quinn may celebrate by either feeding the first pancake off the stove to a dog, or just spending some quality time with her favorite puppy, Bark.

Today also happens to be Women's Equality Day, and I am really trying not to speculate on why these two holidays share the same day. Let's all just assume it's a total coincidence and move on. Michele Landon, I'm sure, would be much less generous.

Fandom News!

Thursday, August 24, 2017

Celebrate this Holiday Responsibly: Always Check the Date First!


Don't worry about Jake. He's just a little upset because it's National Waffle Day and he accidentally ate some waffles that were past their sell-by date. Honestly, though, I would think that--after his run-in with Tokyo Toby's--he'd know what real food poisoning feels like.

Today is also International Strange Music Day, so don't freak out if you hear Trent composing another jingle for Happy Herb's. Unless the music actually sounds good, in which case you should definitely freak out.

Finally, it was on this day in 2000 that TV Guide Online published an "interview" with Daria Morgendorffer. Read it to learn about her thoughts on her first movie, her feelings about school, and her fondness for yo-yo tricks.

Fanfic Update!
  • Dying in a Nightmare (Two-Eyed Charlie's "Wacky One-Shots & Misc."), by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "Jake finally understood things now, understood why his life always took a hard right off the overpass."

  • Monkey Business, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "'Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday dear meee-eee, happy birthday to me!' Jane was bouncing around the front yard, waiting for her party guests to arrive."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 34 - 36): "'I'll bet,' Quinn said, 'that she jetted out of here because she knew this was gonna be awkward!' Then Quinn shut up. She was talking to herself, the first sign that you're going nuts. Without Daria available, Quinn's first idea was to talk to Jane." (Part 35) (Part 36)

Tuesday, August 22, 2017

They're Warming Up to Sing in that Heavenly Choir


Daria and Jane aren't fooling anyone on Be an Angel Day, but Quinn's guardian angel will surely show up to prevent light fixtures from falling on the popular kids. I've mentioned it before, but I still can't recommend Mike Xeno's Guardian enough.

Today is also the anniversary of Dorothy Parker's birth on this day in 1893. I don't recall Parker ever getting mentioned on the show, but there's no way Daria (the person or the character) wasn't influenced by her biting wit.

Fandom News!

Sunday, August 20, 2017

Maybe a Hurricane--or a Birthday--on the Way!


Wait! Don't turn off the TV until we've had a chance to wish Al Roker a happy birthday! Also, he just might have relevant hurricane-related news to share.

If you really must shut off the television, then at least turn on the radio for National Radio Day. Unless Bing and the Spatula Man are on, in which case feel free to fling the radio through the nearest window. For more entertaining radio personalities, see "Free Radio Lawndale" by Ken Tremberth and Erin Mills. I promise, no one will ask you if you're mental in the morning.

Fanfic Update!
  • Movers and Shakers (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (parts 1 and 2): "DARIA: "Hello, I'm Daria Morgendorffer and welcome to Movers and Shakers. This presenation allows us, through the use of sophisticated computer science and three-dimensional modeling, to recreate not merely the images, but the voices, the thoughts and the beliefs of some of the greatest and most influential people in history." (Part 2)

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 44): "'So......' 'So......' They both took a seat across from each other. 'We were supposed to talk......before,' Brad ventured watching her carefully. 'Yeah, we were- we should......talk.'"

Friday, August 18, 2017

Stacy's Still Giving Her Poems Away for Free


Andrea's prepared a dramatic reading for Bad Poetry Day, but I think she's got a long way to go before she'll beat Quinn's masterpiece. If song lyrics count, then Trent's also going to be stiff competition on this one.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Jane's Addition," which first aired on this day in 1999. There weren't any bad poems that I can remember, but we were...treated...to Jane's unique style of singing and introduced to fandom's most controversial character, Tom Sloane.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

This is Not the Career Path I Would Have Expected for Her


Andrea's featured in the swimsuit issue in honor of Sports Illustrated's anniversary on this day in 1954. I think this is one publication that both Kevin and Upchuck would be interested in, and it's not often that those two have anything in common.

Today is also Bratwurst Day, so maybe Jake can start up the old grill and maybe, just maybe, try not to set dinner on fire. He'll likely have better luck with that than with today's other holiday, National Tell a Joke Day. Stick to the grilling, Jake.

Fanfic Update!
  • An Artist's Commission, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'You're Jane Lane, right?' Jane didn't even bother to look up from her work. 'You want to talk to either Daria or Charles. She's got the afternoon off, and Charles is in a teleconference with some National Legion chapter heads. You didn't check before you flew in?'"

  • The Black Sheep, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Zachary Joseph Howard hated the Legion. Not disliked them intensely, or loathed them, or abhorred the ground that they walked upon. No, it was far, far deeper or more fundamental than that." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

  • How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 1): "All that could be heard all around her was loud screaming from cheering fans and clear drunken madness from college kids. One day Daria will look back on this day and still not understand how she ended up where she is now."

  • Like People Who Talk, by MarinaTheBloody (part 1): "'So how real do you want this real talk to be?' Trent was leaning back in a metal chair outside of the cafe in a place neither of them lived, her visiting Jane, him coming through on tour."

  • Star Trek: Voyager: What a Choice Leads To, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "USS Voyager was still in Borg space. In her quarters, Kes was thinking. The transformation she was undergoing was beginning to become dangerous. Dangerous enough that permanent damage could be caused to Voyager."

  • Unnamed story (Hiding in Plain Sight (Alternate LLH, Plot Bunny to Kill)), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria - Melody Powers - rested on the couch. She felt that she was growing into the role of Melody - and she didn't like it."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Stacy lifted herself away from the back wall of the shooting range, her eyes wide. 'That... is amazing.'"

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 33): "Clifford Fetty always believed in re-investment. There was nothing that he really needed for himself, anyway. He couldn't have cared about fashion, or fine foods, or other things that the rich douchebags of the world cared about. To him, the money was always a means to the end."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked at the books. Then at the clock o her desk 00:58 She remembered, some time ago, that she had told herself that she would go to bed at midnight, regardless of how much reading and studying she had done. But now she did not want to go."

Monday, August 14, 2017

Liiiiiights...Caaaaaamera...Aaaaaaaction!


Tiffany is wishing a happy birthday to Lina Wertmüller, who was born on this day in 1928. Wertmüller doesn't get directly referenced in the show, but Daria--as a fan of Italian director/screenwriters like Federico Fellini--would probably be interested.

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of Doc Holliday in 1851. Holliday is best known for his involvement in the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral, from which Mr. O'Neill got the name for his summer camp. I think that summer camp might have benefited from more shootouts and fewer inner child paintings. Doc Holliday also features in The Angst Guy's Death Takes a Holliday.

Fandom News!

Saturday, August 12, 2017

Boxing Schrödinger


Jake and Mr. Whiskers are recreating Erwin Schrödinger's famous thought experiment for the physicist's birthday. Someone should probably explain to Jake that it's a hypothetical situation, especially before Mr. Whiskers catches on and tries to attack Jake in self-defense.

Today is also National Middle Child Day, and there are a few of those in Daria canon: Rachel Landon, Sam Griffin, Penny Lane, and either Helen or Rita (depending on your theory). Several AUs have Quinn as a middle child thanks to a third Morgendorffer daughter, but don't tell Quinn that today's holiday could apply to her--the last thing she needs is yet another reason to celebrate herself.

Fanfic Update!
  • Children's Author Banned From Every Library in America, by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "LAWNDALE—Children's author Daria Morgendorffer, best know for her infamous debut novel Robots Have No Souls (And Neither Do You), has been banned from displaying her novels inside the public libraries of America, as well as entering any library outright."

  • Desert Stopover, by Cap (part 1): "It was blazing hot. Not surprising as it was an early summer afternoon in the Arizona desert. It could not be anything else but Brenda Talbois grabbed her pack of cigarettes and walked out of the convenience store/gas station anyway."

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 6): "A few months had passed by with no troubles. There had been no more sightings of the campus serial killer and Daria had managed to get some reprieve from everything that had been going on with life."

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 43): "She's up there with him...... he hasn't come down or I would have seen him from this spot that I choose at the bar. Man, I am really a glutton for punishment."

  • That Summer, by The Central Scrutinizer (part 17): "Martin Hart had not yet come through the door when the receptionist came rushing to him. 'The men in black are still here,' she whispered. 'In conference room B.'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria Porn Episode Titles), by Roentgen (parts 1 and 2): "'We're raising money for the new Lawndale young adult's coffee house!' Kevin said. 'Would you like to buy some holiday wrapping paper?'" (Part 2)

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 32): "'...and now that the Legionnaires have become, well...celebrities...having Legion Tower miles off the main road and in an uninhabited area gives everyone the privacy they need,' Linda Griffin said. 'And my little girl is always a stickler for privacy.'"

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Did Helen's Cell Phone Break Down or Something?


Jake and Helen are taking a rare break for Lazy Day, although I don't see how the tranquility could possibly last much longer. Either Eric's going to call or Jake's going to spontaneously remember something Mad Dog did thirty years ago.

Today is also Spider-Man's birthday, as the super-hero's first appearance was on this day in 1962. I know of at least two Daria/Spider-Man crossovers, Jim North's "Lawndale Marvels: The Spectacular Spider-Girl" and Ranger Thorne's "Daria's Web." If anyone knows of more, let me know in the comments!

Fandom News!

Tuesday, August 8, 2017

Getting In Over Her Head


Jodie is having fun portraying the late swimmer and actress Esther Williams, who was born on this day in 1921. Either that or her parents found yet another activity to drag her into and the girl has just completely snapped.

Also, on this day in 2011, Racked published an "interview" with Daria: Daria Morgendorffer's Greatest Retail Regret, Plus a Brand-New Original Never-Before-Seen Daria Portrait. It's...an interesting look for Our Heroine.

Fanfic Update!
  • A.R.C Chapter 10 Imprisoned, by ST91 (part 1): "Getting out from the white car Daria almost forgot to say bye to Andrea and Jane and to thank Mrs. Ruttheimer for taking her home. Yet it was understandable, the last hours had been an emotional rollercost for her."

  • Drake And Jane Diaries, by James the Lesser (part 2): "Yo, Journal I love art, and there is a competition. Drake said he'd help me with it."

  • Dylan, by J-D (part 36b): "Dylan was glad that Tracey didn't try to make small talk. She concentrated on the driving. Tracey also seemed to have the sour attitude to life in general that he appreciated. He was almost feeling relaxed, for the first time since Rod called."

  • Rude Awakening #14: And she was gone...., by DIsaac (part 2): "(WHUB Studios) [Interior-DAY] (Mack is hosting his Saturday Afternoon Shift when Jodie comes in) MACK: All right, we got some new stuff form Portugal, The Man, LCD Soundsystem and how about I put in a double play of Nine Inch Nails for ya. That is all next on WHUB 98.5. The Alternate for New England."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by Waylander (part 22): "The way he talked about quitting... I hope I'm wrong. Darlene decided to do something uncharacteristic for her real-life counterpart – to seek out Singh and warn him."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Tiger Beat Interviewer: I'm here with Legionnaire Michael Jordan 'Mack' Mackenzie - September's 'Man-Spread'. Mack: Let's spread it."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by WacoKid (COMPLETE!): "'OK, so I was wrong.' 'Big of you to admit that, amiga. Now pay up.' 'But I have to ask ....' 'Ask way, just as long as you put money in my hand while you do it.'"

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "I've got the music. Currently I'm running to the not-so-fast-paced song, 'Heathens' by twenty one pilots. I love it."

Sunday, August 6, 2017

Daria's Going for Her Fifteen Minutes of Fame


Daria's stepping on Jane's turf today for Andy Warhol's birthday, but at least Jane gets a cameo role. Daria's looking less than impressed by her homage to the pop artist, although perhaps she's just starting to understand Jane's distaste for painting copies.

Today is also National Root Beer Float Day, so feel free to treat yourself to some ice cream and a nice root beer...from a frosty cold can. Go on; I won't tell Helen.

Fandom News!