Monday, May 22, 2017

A Day for Andrea and...the Other One, I Guess


Daria's wishing Andrea a happy World Goth Day, although neither of them seems very enthusiastic about it. Come to think of it, maybe that's the point.

Today is also Buy a Musical Instrument Day, so this would be a good time for Daria to buy a new flute to replace the one Jake ran over. You know, just in case she feels like playing "Pop Goes the Weasel" again. Because that's a thing that would happen.

Fandom News!

Saturday, May 20, 2017

How Hard Could it Be?


Tom's inviting everyone to join him for Be a Millionaire Day, because of course it's just that easy. Then again, you know what? I'm going to check with my bank to see if they'll go along with this one for me.



Okay, I checked. They won't.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (parts 23 and 24): "Dave didn't have a radio, when exorcising the possessed, it was important to have as few loose items on ones self as possible, so just the safety scissors, or just the blowtorch, or just the CS intravenous syringe, whatever he was using (in this case he was carrying a scalpel and a CS spray)." (Part 24)

  • Daria's Life's Lottery, by Charles RB (parts 1 - 4): "You're already lucky in life's lottery: your parents are both educated middle-class white people in the United States of America, in the second half of the 20th century." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

  • The Interview, by dmsfanman (part 1): "Tom opened one eye and was enjoying just lying there in the bed. The cool air in the room and faint smell of bleach in the hotel sheets filled his senses."

  • The More Things Change (Iron Chef: The New Canon), by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 6): "I didn't immediately regret walking into Nicoll's Bed and Breakfast, which I've taken as confirmation that I was, at the time, suffering from severe head trauma."

  • Suckered, by arandomshipper (Giveadogabone) (COMPLETE!): "The last bell rang. Daria didn't move from her desk, in no hurry to go anywhere. She just continued to read her novel. She expected no interruptions."

Thursday, May 18, 2017

Don't Forget to See The Salivary Gland Tumor!


Why not swing by the Museum of Medical Oddities for International Museum Day? Come for the skull crusher, stay for the Sliced Man. Ewwwww....

If that's not your idea of a good time, there's always the option of having a family reunion in honor of Visit Your Relatives Day. Uncle Max will be happy to explain why you're a no-good bum while Grandma Lane just wants to know what the hell is wrong with you. On second thought, I'd just go to the museum.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Let Them Eat Kitchen Sink Stew!


Jake hasn't lost his head yet, but since I'm pretty sure he's portraying Marie Antoinette here I'm sure it's just a matter of time. The ill-fated monarch was married to Louis XVI on this day in 1770, and we all know how that turned out. Quinn knows, too, although she's more interested in wine glass shapes.

On this day in 1999, an article about Daria appeared in The New York Times. Yes, it starts out discussing Dawson's Creek but it gets to Daria eventually.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 22): "The witchfinder team met Gary as he was taking a break. 'Alright boss?' asked one of them."

  • Her First Mother's Day, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Daria. I didn't hear you come in.' 'Side-effect of not always wearing the old boots, anymore. I see you got Quinn's present.'"

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 19): "Mack knew he should put his pants in the hamper. It was the adult, mature thing to do but he was feeling neither adult nor mature."

Sunday, May 14, 2017

Happy Mother's Day!


I think Helen is overcompensating for Mother's Day, and it really doesn't matter, anyway--even if the rest of her family was at home instead of on a date, schmoozing a client, and eating pizza with Jane, they'd probaby die of shock to see Helen home from work. She's still one-up on Jane's mother, though, since Helen is at least in the same country as her own children.

Fandom News!

Friday, May 12, 2017

It's Like Groundhog Day Only Weirder


Quinn is checking to see if the calendar has any other dates besides May 12, which seems to always be displayed no matter what episode. Among others, that's apparently the day Daria moved to Lawndale and the day of the infamous Kiss. It could be an anomaly in the space-time continuum that will destroy life as we know it...or it could be that the Morgendorffers can never be bothered to change their calendar. Could go either way.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 21): "The witch finders finally got their restraints off and picked up some nearby weapons, sneaking upstairs. It was daylight out, and there was nobody downstairs."

  • Daria/Wild Wild West Crossover: Night of the Short-Skirted Cynic (Iron Chef: Daria Team-Up), by Meester_Lee (part 1): "She wondered later how her life might have gone if she'd turned down Tom Sloane's invitation to go on a cross-country trip to Wisconsin with him and his friend Bart."

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 41): "'Pregnant?' Max looked at Quinn's imposing figure standing before him with her arms crossed over her bosom and wearing an all-white Chanel Suit with soft gold adorning her ears, neck, and ankle."

  • Unnamed story (A bit of a story about a strange shipper), by 11tee (part 1): "'You what?' Jesse looked at his father with incredulous eyes. 'I have a date tonight.' Mo looked at his son as he worked the hand-cleaner over his fingers. 'Something wrong?'"

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 17 and 18): "A group of cadets watched as a helicopter landed at the secure heliport controlled by the USAES. The heliport was marked not with the standard 'H' symbol but instead with a double helix and the roman numeral XXIV." (Part 18)

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

It's the Helen Express!


Helen's on the right track (get it?) for National Train Day, which is the anniversary of the pounding of the golden spike in 1869. I'm sure plenty of Helen's courtroom opponents have felt exactly like they were facing an oncoming train, and I do not envy them one bit.

Today is also School Nurses Day, so today would be a good time to have the never-seen Nurse Chase have a look at that skin rash. Although, given that she seems to be a bit squeamish, you might be better off leaving her alone.

Fandom News!

Monday, May 8, 2017

Who Needs to Find Chechnya on a Map, Anyway?


Mr. DeMartino just got the bad news that there's no money in the budget for new supplies, so he'll have to stick with the ones made on this day in 1945, also known as V-E Day. I'm sure nothing important has happened since then, so he'll probably be fine. Frankly, most of his students won't learn anything regardless of how up-to-date the textbooks are, anyway.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic (Non-Daria), by psychotol (part 20): "It was hard to make any assumptions about the time of day that the witchfinders would abduct Carrie and Kira, night time would mean fewer people around to witness the event, but if just one person sees something happening at night it's more suspicious than if it is seen in daylight."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by EntrancedCat (part 55): "Admiral Daria studied the ship which had slowly come up on them. 'Another boat which sort of looks like some fifties idea of a spaceship. Didn't I read somewhere that the Borg actually got it right in Star Trek? A cube, cylinder or sphere are the most logical shapes for an interstellar vessel.'"

  • Graduations, by dmsfanman (COMPLETE!): "As Tom walked out of the last presentation of his college career, he looked at his phone to check the time. Looking at the display he was a little surprised that he had not had a text or voicemail message from Daria while she was underway."

  • The More Things Change, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 5): "There are a few things out there that I expected to happen to me at some point in my life. At least one of them involved drugs and a high-speed collision with a farm animal (don't ask)."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 16): "'He's headed this way,' Stacy said. 'Okay,' Quinn said. 'Stand back everyone. I'm going to hit him hard.'"

Saturday, May 6, 2017

It Would Be Hard NOT to Observe This One Without Getting Dehydrated


Daria's enjoying Beverage Day, and everyone else is encouraged to choose their own favorite to drink. Jake is trying to decide between a martini and some nice, calming milk while Ms. Li is demanding that everyone drink soda, soda, SODA!!!

Just make sure the drink you choose is not diet, because today is International No Diet Day. The Fashion Club can stop obsessing over their appearances and hardly not eating anything at lunch today. Yes, Tiffany, I'm looking at you.

Fandom News!

Thursday, May 4, 2017

How About "Narcoleptic Fireman" For a New Band Name?


Trent's all set for International Firefighters Day, but I don't think I'd trust him to save my house. If he didn't fall asleep holding the hose then the flames would inspire him to compose a new song about moths.

Today is also Star Wars Day for all you Star Wars fans out there. Judging by the not-insignificant number of Daria/Star Wars crossover fanfics out there I think it's safe to say there are quite a few in fandom!

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 19): "The 4 man witchfinder team picked the lock on the back garden gate, dressed in high visibility jackets, hardhats with the logo of a local power company, things that might be dismissed as while unusual, could be fairly legitimate in their presence."

  • Fork In The Road (Pasta's Never-ending Ideas Thread!), by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "No matter how much time passed, Lawndale never changed. Brittany Taylor kept a steady pace as she jogged down the block, the crisp morning air energizing her for the day ahead."

  • Graduations, by dmsfanman (part 2): "It was late on Wednesday morning when Daria stood in the kitchen of her university apartment and surveyed the scene. She rubbed her temples. This headache was really annoying her."

  • A Griffin Story: Pregnancy, by Meester_Lee (parts 7 and 8): "'I've been waiting for over fifty years,' said Alcie. Linda gulped. 'Is she going to be a witch?' she asked fearfully." (Part 8)

  • The More Things Change, by Two-Eyed Charlie (parts 3 and 4): "Saturday morning greeted me with all the pleasantness of a terrorist attack." (Part 4)

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 14 and 15): "'Antigua?' Sandi said. 'Where the hell is Antigua?' 'Island in the Carribean,' Charles said, as the other members of the Legion climbed into the Gridrunner behind him." (Part 15)

Tuesday, May 2, 2017

"They're so cute when they smile at you. Hello, precious!"


Andrew Landon is proud to remind everyone that today is Baby Day, and maybe if Michele gets the chance she'll remind him that he has two other children as well. Just to rub salt in the wound, today is also Brothers and Sisters Day. Given how most of the siblings on Daria get along, I don't know if many of them will be celebrating this one.

Today is also the day Jake's frozen waffles expired, so be extra careful if you indulge today. If you'd rather play it safe, you could have some Johnny Cakes instead in honor of the anniversary of "Stonewall" Jackson getting shot by his own men in 1863.

Fandom News!

Sunday, April 30, 2017

Be Honest: What Do You Think of Sandi's Hair?


Sandi's not really getting into the spirit of Hairstyle Appreciation Day, but when your stylist is a psychotic nightmare Quinn then I guess it's hard to be appreciative. I gotta say, though, that the short hair kind of suits her. Maybe it's just me.

I have a feeling Daria's going to enjoy National Honesty Day, but I don't think the same can be said about the people around her. Neither of these things are exactly new sensations, though.

Fanfic Update!
  • A Blast from The Past, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Miss Morgendorffer! Mister White! How wonderful it is to see the both of you!' Quinn froze in mid-bite of a crunchy ring as the familiar voice rang out behind her; at her side, a pair of mini-eggrolls dropped from Jaime White's suddenly-numb fingers."

  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 18): "Carrie watched the news as the report that the FBI were raiding all the locations held by Tigerswan for conspiring to sell US military tech to Iran."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by Kuriamo22 (part 54): "Lt Commander Daniels sat quietly at his station on the bridge as he monitored the time stream for any anomalies or changes while sipping some coffee. Thing's had been relatively quiet for the last few weeks which suited him just fine."

  • A Griffin Story: Pregnancy, by Meester_Lee (part 6): "Linda Griffin's hope that bouts with morning sickness would be few and far between were soon blasted to shards. For the next several weeks, she started to have sickness bouts at least twice a day."

  • It Came from the Comment Section, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "JANE: What the Hell happened to you? DARIA: Mr. O'Neill. He found these people who redraw cartoon characters for what they consider 'realism.' I think I preferred it when the Fashion Club chased me down with cream rinses and Scrunchies."

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 40): "Trent ran his hands over the smooth leather of the journal that she'd given him for Christmas. He traced the imagery of a spiral with his name under it, knowing that Jane must have helped in that aspect and smiled."

  • A.R.C CHAPTER 9 Babysitting, by ST91 (part 4): "Back home from school, Daria had no desire or mind to study so she sat on the sofa and watched an episode of her favorite show, Sick Sad World. It was a concentrate of trash TV, the ideal for relaxing and emptying the mind."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 10 - 13): "The Legionnaires, prior to their arrival in Washington, had had a long conversation about what to do for fun. The options for being under eighteen in Washington, DC were rather limited. Even more so for Legionnaires." (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13)

Friday, April 28, 2017

No Vogons, Please!


Andrea would like everyone's attention for National Great Poetry Reading Day. Even if you aren't in the mood for poems about rotting bags of flesh, remember it could always be worse: the poem could be Quinn's.

Today is also Kiss Your Mate Day, but Daria might want to keep her distance from Tom right now. Helen's probably racing over at this moment with some snacks. Brittany and Kevin, meanwhile, should probably try to come up for air pretty soon.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Marianne, the Only Woman More Overworked than Helen


Marianne is just trying to remind Helen that today is Administrative Professionals' Day and would it be all right if she picked up a card for herself on her lunch break? Helen really doesn't care, because as far as she's concerned Marianne is basically background noise anyway.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 17): "Jennifer Honey walked through the living room to get to the kitchen, turning the TV onto the news so she could hear some events that had occurred as she had her breakfast."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by EntrancedCat (part 53): "Daria Victoria and Danielle Todds wordlessly agreed to keep Daria Judith between them as they walked to the turbolift."

  • Decisions, by elainefr (part 14): "Daria stood at the window to her apartment looking but not really seeing the traffic outside. So much had happened since she had left Lawndale..."

  • Graduations, by dmsfanman (part 1): "Tom Sloane checked his phone and the display showed him that he had only about 20 minutes to get to Daria's apartment. He was nearly running from the arrival platform to the 'T' – Boston's subway."

  • High School Never Ends, by Princess_Pasta (part 7): "Bloomingdale's was quiet for a Thursday afternoon which left the three of them to search in peace. Sandi was armed with her father's black card and a lot of patience."

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 39): "'Hey sis,' Quinn greeted the smaller woman once the door was answered to the apartment that her sister now shared with Jane."

  • A.R.C CHAPTER 9 Babysitting, by ST91 (part 3): "Back at home Andrea found her mother sitting at the kitchen table buried under a mountain of paper."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 9): "A lone car pulled up at The Tower. Getting out of the car was a young woman with a pressed shirt, military slacks and wearing a beret emblazoned with some sort of arcane insignia."

Monday, April 24, 2017

I Think This Little Guy Needs More Than One Day to Recover!


Poor Roger (as fandom has named him) is not having a very good World Day for Laboratory Animals. Then again, you probably wouldn't like it if you'd had to spend any amount of time with Brian Taylor, either.

Today is also Fashion Revolution Day, and I hope someone has told the Fashion Club that the day is about making changes in the fashion industry and not bloody conquest of people who wear last season's styles.

Fandom News!

Sunday, April 23, 2017

Hooray!


The Paperpusher's Message Board is back up and running! Thank you to everyone who worked to fix the issues, especially Scissors MacGillicutty. If anyone is having issues with how the board displays, please try clearing your browser cache or going to the user control panel and switching the style from prosilver to subsilver2 and then back again.

Saturday, April 22, 2017

Tom Just Kant Stay Awake


Poor Tom is really trying to appreciate Immanuel Kant on the 293rd anniversary of the philosopher's birth, but I just don't think it's going to work out. If only Kant had livened up the book with a gunfight or a fur bikini, Tom might have been able to stay awake. But then we'd have had no wacky hijinks involving school rumors, so perhaps it's all for the best.

Today is also Girl Scout Leader Day, so let's all take a moment to appreciate the poor soul who had to take Jane Lane and a bunch of girls singing "John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt" on a hike. Hey, I just thought of Mr. DeMartino's dream job!

Fanfic Update!
  • Decisions, by elainefr (part 12): "'Ah,' Daria winced at the sting of the alcohol that she was dabbing on her cuts. 'Damn Zon and their broken bottles and stupid me, for getting into a fight over a guy. This is so high school.'"

  • This is my stop, by Honey-On-Toast (parts 10 and 11): "The washing up was more of just a task of physical work, it was persuading Quinn to participate. There was nagging, exchange of sarcasm, bribery and finally it was done." (Part 11)

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Putting the "High" in High Five


President's Day (or Days?) are celebrating National High Five Day, which makes me wonder if the actual National High Five Day is feeling a little annoyed about having his or her day co-opted.

Today is also 4/20, and I have a sneaking suspicion that Trent might be celebrating this one. PSA: don't attempt to high-five while stoned. Just...don't.

Today is also Volunteer Recognition Day, so this would be a good time to volunteer to help hospitalized kids with art projects or read to senior citizens. Also, preferably not while stoned.

The PPMB is still unavailable, and Scissors MacGillicutty has an explanation and progress report.

Tuesday, April 18, 2017

The Amazing Juggling Jodie!


Jodie is celebrating International Jugglers Day, although I think she's more accustomed to the metaphorical kind of juggling--extracurriculars, volunteer work, etc. Gotta say, though: she's doing a good job there. Does "expert juggler" carry any weight on college applications?

The PPMB is still experiencing difficulties, but remember that you can watch for updates at the Paperpusher's Message Board Twitter Account.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 16): "The scene of the crash and the shootout was now cordoned off and being examined when Mike Freeman showed up, the superintendent was overseeing the CSIs as they photo'd and bagged items and uniform were interviewing witnesses including the occupants of the house that had been included in the crime scene because of the bullets that had embedded themselves in the roof."

  • Dear World, You Suck, by blockedthewriter (COMPLETE!): "Halfway into a pepperoni slice at Pizza King, Jane drops the confession like a trembling grenade."

  • Decisions, by elainefr (part 11): "Trent entered the room and saw her. She sat up in one of the emergency room beds with the other two curtains drawn on each side to give the other patients their privacy."

  • To Be A Big Brother, by arandomshipper (COMPLETE!): "They think I'm oblivious. Janey and Daria both. I probably am. Just not about that."

Sunday, April 16, 2017

The Little Imitator


Mr. O'Neill is about the last person I'd expect to portray Charlie Chaplin on the anniversary of his birth in 1889. For one thing, Chaplin was funny on purpose.

Also, happy Easter to everyone who celebrates it! Please enjoy this list of Easter treats courtesy of the Sh33p's Fluff website: Fandom News!

Friday, April 14, 2017

The View From Below


Daria doesn't quite have it right for Look up at the Sky Day, because right now she's looking up at the ceiling. It could be that she's waiting for the library roof to finish caving in, but if that's the case then I don't think it's wise to stay underneath it.

Today is also Ex Spouse Day, although I doubt Ms. Barch will want to celebrate. Unless the celebration involves ranting and raving, although for her that just means today's a day that ends in "Y."

Finally, this is the anniversary for the episodes "The Lab Brat" and "Of Human Bonding," which aired on this day in 1997 and 2000. Jake did a lot of bonding in both episodes--with Kevin in one and with Daria in the other. I sometimes wish there was more fanfic centered around Jake and Kevin hanging out. Hint, hint.

As if this post, the PPMB was not functioning, but hopefully it will return soon so everyone can enjoy this...

Fanfic Update!
  • High School Never Ends, by Princess_Pasta (part 6): "The smell of cinnamon was the first thing that greeted Stacy as soon she left her room. She padded her way into the kitchen, the prospect of food enough to shake off the cloud of sleep."

  • The More Things Change (Iron Chef: The New Canon), by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 2): "Glass Café sits in a part of Hell's Kitchen that never fails to make me wonder how I can manage my rent month in and month out."

  • A.R.C CHAPTER 9 Babysitting, by ST91 (part 2): "Thoughts. Daria had several of them in mind. The unplanned trip to the hospital and the modeling agency ordeal had distracted her but now the doubt had returned to haunt her."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 6 - 8): "Daria put down her English textbook. She had two hours of exercise scheduled for that afternoon, more close-order combat training. She realized the necessity but hated the time-suck." (Part 7) (Part 8)

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Perhaps If He Heaves Another Big, Melodramatic Sigh?


Sorry, Wind, today is Big Wind Day, and you don't qualify. I would imagine the hurricane-that-almost-was might, though, and if we're counting big windbags then we could include Tommy Sherman, Terry Perry Barlow, Andrew Landon, Timothy O'Neill...and way more than I'm interested in counting right now.

Fandom News!

Monday, April 10, 2017

Add "Fore" to Jesse's Four-Letter-Word Vocabulary


Jesse's taking up an unusual hobby for Golfer's Day, but I suppose there's no canon evidence that Jesse doesn't like golf. Although I assume most golf clubs require shirts, which could be a dealbreaker for Jesse. Jake, our canon golf enthusiast, is probably playing a few holes today, unless his client caseload is too heavy for him to get away. Heh, I almost got through that with a straight face!

If golf isn't your style, then you could also celebrate Siblings Day by spending some quality time with any brothers or sisters you have. Daria has considered her options and would like to borrow a golf club, please.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by EntrancedCat (part 52): "Daria Victoria opened Sisko's cabin's door and ushered Daria Judith and Danielle in without ceremony. 'I haven't had time to call in the decorators and make the place mine,' she explained needlessly as the two new arrivals took in the sparsely decorated room."

  • Decisions, by elainefr (part 9): "'We ne-' 'Don't say we need to talk,' was her quiet request. She sat beside him, not touching, on the sofa."

  • The More Things Change... (Iron Chef: The New Canon), by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 1): "I looked at the script, then I looked at the powdered-up, black haired bimbo of a man parked behind the 'host's desk' on the sound-stage."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 4 and 5): "John Dynell and Hiraoku Fukunaga completed their tour. Dynell was amused by the behavior of Fukunaga's employees. Having never seen their boss on the factory floor, they initially ran about like a bunch of headless chickens, trying to outdo one other in obsequiousness." (Part 5)

Saturday, April 8, 2017

Drawing Birds, Drawing Birdbrains...Same Difference


Jane's got the right idea for Draw a Bird Day, even if Claude and Romonica don't care for the honor. Daria, having far less artistic talent, will probably settle for flipping the bird instead.

Fandom News!

Thursday, April 6, 2017

Scots and Sports!


Joey's decked out in Scottish style for National Tartan Day, but if he thinks Quinn will be impressed by bagpipes I suspect he's going to be disappointed. Then again, Quinn might find herself drawn to the shrill, wailing notes.

Since today is also National Student-Athlete Day, Joey's football teammates can also join him on the field. I think Joey might want to change out of the kilt first, though. I foresee too many potential embarrassing mishaps otherwise.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Call, by dmsfanman (part 1): "Tom Sloane was sitting at his desk trying to keep his eyes open as he went over his group's final presentation for their class on strategic business planning."

  • Community of Creativity, by LadieTAG (parts 4 and 5): "There was a long silence before Max decided to speak. 'Trent, Trent are you okay man?' 'Are you sure it's her? I mean none of us have seen her since..'" (Part 5)

  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 15): "'So, Cassandra White, it says here you were discharged for disregard for the presence of civilians?' 'Yeah,' said the woman before the interviewer, 'they're all Islamic, fewer Muslims, smaller pool for terrorists to come from, am I right?'"

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by EntrancedCat (part 51): "Daria froze in the captain's chair as she heard a familiar voice from the turbolift... 'Damn, girl. You looking better than ever.'"

  • Good Things Come In Small Packages, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Lawrence! What in the name of God did you just do?'"

  • High School Never Ends, by Princess_Pasta (parts 3 - 5): "There was a beat up composition notebook buried at the bottom of Jane's messenger bag, next to discarded gum wrappers and broken pencils, which doubled as makeshift sketchbook. She eagerly pulled it from its confines." Part 4) (Part 5)

  • Statement of Intent, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "My final year. Cadet First Class Yaniv Ernet was proud of the image that gazed back from the mirror."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 1 - 3): "Jodie Landon woke up and took a good look around the laboratory. Her body felt exhausted and she began to run through her algorithm of reasons that could account for the fatigue." (Part 2) (Part 3)

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Everyone Should Have a Seeing-Eye Jane!


Daria's getting a little help for Walk Around Things Day, which is better than her solo attempt at Walking Into People Day. I'm sure her bruised fellow students appreciate the switch, too.

Today is also School Librarian Day, and while I don't believe we ever see any librarians at Lawndale High I couldn't resist the shout-out.

Fandom News!

Sunday, April 2, 2017

Words, Pictures...and PBJ!


Daria's helping her classmates celebrate International Children's Book Day, but I don't think that's the kind of book the holiday creators had in mind. If you'd like to read a children's book today, why not pair it with a sandwich for National Peanut Butter and Jelly Day? Daria will probably pass on that one, since her last experience with peanut butter sandwiches didn't go so well.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Art Burn," which aired on this day in 2001. Jane almost filmed a Waterworld post-apocalyptic video, almost lost her passion for painting, and almost uncovered a forger's plot. So many lost opportunities!

Fanfic Update!
  • The Date, by elainefr (part 6): "'How was the Country Club?' Jane asked of her best friend once they'd each settled into the comfortable positions in her room, doing what they loved to do."

  • From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (COMPLETE!): "Daria crossed her arms. 'So where did you hide it?' 'Huh?' Michael's eyes lost some focus."

  • I May Go Pop, by tafka (parts 1 - 3): "Daria looked at her schedule and sighed. Modern History tute again. She wouldn't have minded if the research assistant wasn't such a misogynist jerk who seemed to take great pleasure in baiting her into ridiculous arguments." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • The Lost Girl, by Hammyham (part 2): "The one good thing about being back at Lawndale; Jane is back too. Her room had been turned into a new studio for her Mom (the kiln set on fire in the basement), but luckily Trent had vacated his room a couple of years prior so she could have his."

  • A.R.C CHAPTER 9 Babysitting, by ST91 (part 1): "In Lawndale and its surroundings there are many restaurants and clubs. For some of them it's a miracle to still be open despite the health inspector, but others offer the highest level of services."

  • Shadows of a Timeless Song, by Dennis (part 14): "A thousand questions, many of them rude, boiled up in Daria's mind, but for once, she held them in. With a puzzled shrug, she walked through the door, which Ron closed and locked behind them."

Friday, March 31, 2017

Happy BIRTHday, Mr. WALKen!


Mr. DeMartino wants to wish Christopher Walken a happy birthday, particularly because the character is supposedly based on Walken. I don't think I've ever seen Christopher Walken reach those DeMartino-levels of rage, but then again he's never met Kevin Thompson.

Today is also the anniversary of the episodes "Malled" and "The F Word," which aired on this day in 1997 and 2000. Both featured teacher-accompanied mall shopping for Quinn, but otherwise there isn't a whole lot of common ground between them.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, March 29, 2017

This Holiday Really Belongs to Ruttheimer the Prestidigitator


Although it's Smoke and Mirrors Day, I don't think a seance in the girls' restroom is quite the intended method of observing the holiday. Then again, there's smoke and there's mirrors. I guess I can't fault the logic there.

If frozen bread and cellophane wrappers are more your speed, you can celebrate National Mom and Pop Business Owners Day with Earl and Barbara! Enjoy a two-dollar cookie and some echolalia--echolalia--while you're at it.

Finally, we wish a happy anniversary to Ted Dewitt-Clinton, who appeared for the first time on this day in 1998 in the episode "The New Kid." We didn't see much of him after that episode, but he still had an impact in fandom.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Date, by elainefr (part 5): "'What's say we go out for a celebratory pizza and you stay over. I passed my test with flying colors, thank you for your help.' Jane suggested to Daria while Daria exchanged books at her locker between classes."

  • From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (part 11): "The Justice of the Peace glared at the intruder. 'Young man, this is not an appropriate time to bring objections to this union! In granting a license, the state has affirmed that there is no legal bar to this marriage. If you had any other objection, you should have brought it up to the bride and groom well before this time.'"

  • High School Never Ends, by CaffeineAddict94 (part 2): "'There's no way that this is decaf'. 'Well, er, no. It's, um, half-caf'. 'Stacy, you know what caffeine does to my face'."

  • The Lost Girl, by Hammyham (COMPLETE!): "'Goddamnit Helen, where will my golf clubs go now Daria's home?' I put down my suitcase on the bed I vacated seven years ago and sighed."

  • Someone had to do it, by Rémi (part 8): "The family was sitting around the kitchen table, sharing a meal of microwaved lasagna while Quinn babbled about the nose job of some girl at school."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "She's thin, in an almost unhealthy way. Frail, perhaps. Quinn's mind speaks these thoughts to her, fingers feather light as they trace over the outline of a bruise on her bedmate's arm."

Monday, March 27, 2017

Hey, Joe! What Do You Know?


Joey looks a little confused that today is National "Joe" Day, and I can kind of see his point. If anyone should have a special holiday in honor of his name, it's Jamie. Then maybe people will start remembering who he is.

Today is also Quirky Country Music Song Titles Day, so Travis the Singing Cowboy should probably get on that. Then again, he'll probably just steal someone else's idea, since as far as I can tell the man has no original thoughts of his own. Can you come up with a good one? Bonus points for Mystik Spiral-style lyrics to go with it.

Fandom News!

Saturday, March 25, 2017

Hold Me Closer, Waffle Eater!


Helen wishes a happy birthday to Sir Elton John, who turns 70 today. Either that or Helen got into some very strange fashion choices during her commune days.

Today is also Waffle Day, but if you decide to indulge then make sure you check the sell-by date first. The last thing you want to do is eat a bunch of poisoned waffles and develop a very mild stomachache.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Date, by elainefr (part 4): "'Okay……what the heck was that about back there?' Jane asked Trent after a moment in the car. Trent drove staring straight ahead."

  • From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (parts 9 and 10): "'Oh, God! Yes!' Daria growled out as her nearly naked body shifted back and forth across the bed." (Part 10)

  • Second Chances, by Lady Evil (part 4): "'In conclusion, Your Honor,' Helen told the judge. 'Not only is Mrs. Talbot guilty of illegal search and seizure but my client, Mr. Moreno, was only doing what was decent and humane. Did he behave rashly when Mrs. Talbot paid an unannounced visit? Perhaps. Did he endanger the welfare of a minor in his care? Absolutely not. If anything, Mr. Moreno was demonstrating some old fashioned chivalry and good manners that young Daniel may choose to emulate.'"

  • Unnamed story (All-Purpose Creative Writing Thread: Six), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "(doorbell at Schloss Morgendorffer) Jake - Who could that be? (Jake goes to the door) Jake - Quinn, your date is here! (opens door, sees Monique) Wow, I really don't know my kids!"

Thursday, March 23, 2017

My Puppies are Cute! My Puppies are Tiny!


It's National Puppy Day, Quinn's favorite holiday unless her time working at the pet store soured her on cute animals for good. Really, though, who could resist an adorable pile of puppies? I'll tell you who: mass serial puppy killers.

This is also National Chip and Dip Day, so enjoy a tasty treat today! Just make sure the chips don't fight the dip. Whatever the hell that means.

Last but not least, today is the anniversary of the episode "Monster," which aired on this day in 1998. It's hard to say if Daria made the right choice in softening the video of Quinn before submitting it, but one thing's for sure: "I do not have pores! My pores are cute! My pores are tiny! You're fired!" is one of the all-time greatest Daria lines ever.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

Maybe Ted's Parents Could Give Helen Some Pointers


Either Helen is getting back in touch with her hippie roots or she's decide to go all out in observing National Agriculture Day. Really, the honor should go to Trent, who was voted most likely to become one of those farmers who are paid not to grow crops.

Today is also Credit Card Reduction Day, but good luck convincing Quinn to get on board with that one. However, Jane will be glad to know that it's also World Puppetry Day, because puppets make anything--except radio DJs--funny.

Fanfic Update!
  • Breakfast at Tiffany's (Iron Chef: Breakfast at Tiffany's), by Cap (COMPLETE!): "Jamie rolled from bed stepping into a patch of sunlight peeking through the curtains. He admired his nude reflection in the full length mirror rewarding it with a wink as he worked out the morning kinks."

  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 14): "Kira watched attentively as Carrie assembled the parts according to the animated diagrams on her tablet computer (working offline for now). She finally satisfied herself that all the subassemblies were ready and picked up the crystal."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (parts 13 and 14): "At lunch, Farrah waved Daria over. 'Hey, Daria,' she said. 'My grandfather has extra tickets for the Howard County Livestock Show and Rodeo. Want to come?'" (Part 14)

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (part 12): "At the airport Daria made her way through security. It was the usual humiliation of pulling half the stuff out of her carry on, taking off her shoes and standing in the 'strip search machine.'"

  • The Date, by elainefr (part 3): "He looked at her sitting on the couch adjacent to him, while Jane was draped across the chair. Sick Sad World – The Very Best of...... was on the tube, but he hadn't so much as looked at the screen."

  • Fear and Loathing at Lawndale High, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 4): "Bad vibes from the people of Lawndale...my presence is an insult to them, I can tell from their movements."

  • From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (part 8): "An hour and a half had brought no change to the apartment. Daria still sat, her position unchanged. Jane had an arm thrown around her friend."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (parts 2 and 3): "Molly Weasley had been crushed by the news about the Potters. Nevertheless, that Prewett part of her that allowed her to survive the devastation of her own family was still strong enough to agree to take Harry in for a few days." (Part 3)

Sunday, March 19, 2017

Put the Poem Down, Quinn, I Said POULTRY!


Joey's looking unusually happy for Poultry Day, especially considering he appears to have just laid three eggs. (Ow.) Then again, maybe he just heard Quinn say she'd like to have some chicken for dinner. He's in for an unpleasant surprise.

Today we also celebrate the anniversary of the episode "The Story of D," which aired on this day in 2001. Daria wasn't sure if she was ready to submit her story to Musings, but in the end she didn't chicken out.

Get it?

Sorry. Won't happen again.

Fandom News!

Friday, March 17, 2017

Does This Pot of Gold Make Me Look Faaaat?


Tiffany is dancing a surprisingly lively jig for Saint Patrick's Day, and I'm a little curious to know if she has the congenital green beer-flavored breath. If so, that might explain why she doesn't talk much.

Today is also a triple anniversary for the episodes "College Bored," "Daria Dance Party," and "Murder, She Snored," which all aired on this day in 1997, 1999, and 2000. We had beer on the first one, dancing in the second, and yet another very surreal experience in the third. Fitting all around for Saint Patrick's Day episodes!

Fanfic Update!
  • Chaos Theory (Pasta's Never-ending Ideas Thread!), by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "'We can fix this'. 'I don't think that we can'. 'What?' 'Daria, we can't just pretend that none of this ever happened because it did. And...I've been giving it a lot of thought and I think that it would be best if we didn't talk for awhile'."

  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 13): "'Yeah, that's the correct address, thanks,' said Carrie before she hung up the pay phone (those still existed, but in an ever shrinking number)."

  • From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (parts 6 and 7): "'I'm going to have it.' Daria and Jane sat together in Daria's room at the Morgendorffer residence. Daria had been surprised that Helen hadn't remodeled it since she had left for college." (Part 7)

  • The Great War of the Dale, by Wassersauefer (part 2): "Usually Jodie Landon, oldest daughter of Andrew and Michele Landon, sister of Evan and Rachel Landon, skilled negotiator and businesswoman, was completely in control of her state of mind and emotions, never letting anyone getting one over her."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 1): "The owls were still flying by daylight throughout the British Isles, fireworks were still exploding by night, and people from Britain's wizarding world were so overcome by joy that they were still dancing in the streets where they could be seen by Muggles, but not in this part of Surrey."

  • High School Never Ends, by CaffeineAddict94 (part 1): "Trent Lane thought that Monday mornings should've been illegal. He reflected on how nice it would be to have an extended weekend while he scrapped himself out of his computer chair."

  • A.R.C Chapter 8 Sighted by a condor, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "'Well that was weird...' said Daria after she and Charles had left the incriminated classroom. 'Yeah.' said Charles trying to to curb the anger caused by the interruption."

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Et Tu, Police?


I'm sure Upchuck would like to remind everyone that today is International Day Against Police Brutality, but I think too many female residents of Lawndale have been at the receiving end of his...ahem...charm to care. Jane, on the other hand, will be on hand with a camera to record police brutality against Mystik Spiral. If it ever actually occurs, anyway.

Today is also the Ides of March, which Roman emperors should beware and high school language arts teachers should avoid asking Kevin about.

Finally, it was on this day in 1998 that Michelle Klein-Hass posted her essay From Now On, Please Keep It Real! Whether you agree with the point or not, it's an interesting perspective of the show from back when it was still originally airing.

Fandom News!

Monday, March 13, 2017

I Know Where Sandi Would Like to Shove Those Ear Muffs


Quinn's modeling her pink ostrich feather ear muffs in honor of Ear Muffs Day, and who cares that her obsessive accessorizing has doomed her classmates to starvation? When you look this good, certain death is just a minor detail.

Also on this day in 1781, the planet Uranus was discovered. I'm sure the astronomers who named it would be proud to know just how much laughter they were able to provide future generations, particularly Beavis and Butt-Head.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Choice, by elainefr (part 1): "Daria looked into the room where Trent and Tom both were. Look at them, they're both so......tempting. It's not fair, why should I have to choose?"

  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 12): "The mercs woke up when they felt a warm fluid splashing on their face. They recoiled in disgust when they caught the smell of the fluid and woke up to see Carrie minus her trousers and panties still urinating on them."

  • For the Tom fansSort of, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "The couple kissed softly at first. Of course the more that they did this, the more that it led to……hands finding places that caused the early sounds signaling their awakening of arousal."

  • From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (part 5): "Daria sat, bemused, for a few moments. 'Well, I won't have to worry about pizza money for a while.' Her trademark smirk was in evidence."

  • Second Chances, by Lady Evil (part 3): "It had only been a 24 hour bug and Jane was eager to get back to the easel. She found herself painting images of the fever dream she had at Jesse's house. No way could she publicly display this painting without paying the Disney Corporation through the nose for using their characters."

  • Ted Takes a Holiday (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Oof! Watch where you're going, would you?" An angry voice with an Irish accent made Ted stop walking and look around, but soon saw that he wasn't the one being yelled at. A small man in green clothes was crawling out of a dumpster behind the Good Time Chinese Restaurant, followed closely by a large man in a diaper."

Saturday, March 11, 2017

An Apple a Day Keeps the QB Away!


Kevin's cheerfully planting apple trees for Johnny Appleseed Day, or at least he thinks he is. I'm not entirely certain he could tell an apple seed from a pebble, so who knows what he's really doing right now. Still, it keeps him out of trouble and away from Mr. DeMartino, so let the boy have his fun.

Fandom News!

Thursday, March 9, 2017

This is How Quinn Would Look if Dr. Shar Got Her Way


Quinn's feeling extra artificial today for the anniversary of Barbie's launch on this day in 1959. For an even more disturbing crossover with Barbie, see peetz5050's awesome-yet-terrifying Daria Barbie.

Don't get too freaked out...but then again, it's Panic Day, so go nuts if you want. I think Quinn might panic a little herself if someone doesn't open up that package pretty soon so she can get some air.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "I Don't," which aired on this day in 1998. Aside from introducing us to fan-favorite characters Luhrmann and Aunt Amy, this is a rare episode where Jake--of all people--comes out on top.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 11): "'Carrie a cop killer?' asked Matilda, 'that's not going to help her run for presidency is it? Successful candidates tend to be law and order candidates, sometimes to a fault.'"

  • From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (part 4): "Daria gritted her teeth as Quinn and Jane crowded into the back of her mother's SUV. 'Why do I have to buckle up?' she muttered. 'I won't be able to move, even if I want to, and the shoulder belt is way too tight.'"

  • The Gonzo Papers, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 3): "Holy Jesus! I thought I'd be pissing into the beehive when I started this Cavalry charge of mine, but no amount of ibogaine in existence could cause a hallucination demented enough to match what was outside my hotel door this morning. I'm lucky to be alive! Hell, I'm lucky to be sane!"

  • The Life of the Mind (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "One section of Daria's brain was marked LIBIDO. It was a run-down section, and rumor among the Monads had it that the section would never be up and running."

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 38): "'Quinn...... hey, what are you doing here?' Helen was surprised at her daughter's appearance at her office. 'Can't a daughter visit her mom?'"

  • There and Back Again, by shanejayell (COMPLETE!): "The luggage opened up with a hiss of a zipper, the lid flopping back with a thump."

Tuesday, March 7, 2017

This is Cereal Business


Jake is enjoying National Cereal Day, and I'm sure Quinn's going to have a bowl of Model Crunch as well. Daria, meanwhile, is likely to choose either sugar tarts or leftover pizza. Because that's the true breakfast of champions!

Fandom News!

Sunday, March 5, 2017

"Isn't one of you enough?"


Quinn's taking Multiple Personality Day just a little too far, but you can celebrate by getting in touch with the Eunice inside. You might want to give her a hug if she's feeling particularly sad today.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Fat Like Me," which aired on this day in 2001. That episode showed us that Quinn and Sandi can actually be kind of sweet together when they want to be. It also taught us a whole lot of synonyms for money.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Appointment, by elainefr (part 7): "'Okay, I'm here. Now what was so damn important that it couldn't wait until next weekend or something?' Daria asked of her best friend, mother, and father that were sitting in the Morgendorffer kitchen waiting for her."

  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 10): "Carrie drove as Kira handled the YouTube comments on their latest video. They were following 245th avenue approaching West Bullhead Road when a cop car appeared behind them, lights going, siren whooping a couple of times, the driver pointing to the right."

  • Filters, by tafka (part 1): "'Mom, I think you need to have a look at this.' 'What is it Quinn?' 'I found it on a website. I was talking about Daria in the fashion forums and someone gave me this link.'"

  • From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (parts 2 and 3): "'No, mom, I am not going to be able to make it down to the memorial service.' 'Because, mom. Since they've grounded all air traffic, the trains are packed, and Jane can't get time off to drive me down.'" (Part 3)

  • The Gonzo Papers, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 2): "Having purged the cess-pool that was and still is Lawndale High from my brain several years ago, I needed a powerful enough jolt to pull my mind back there, away from the war and the economy—the kind of jolt that only comes from some catastrophic fuck-up clearly visible to distant galaxies."

  • Mystikal Holiday Tour, by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "The Holidays came to the last verse of the last song of their last set and Guy Fawkes Day brought his guitar down hard on the stage shattering it as the assembled lesser holidays cheered from the floor of Holiday Island High's gym."

  • Telling Tales Out of School, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'Good afternoon,' Sandi greeted him pleasantly after opening the door to let him in. 'Thank you for coming.' David double-checked the address on his list. This is the right place, and that looks like Sandi, but...."

  • Tom Sloane and the Diabolical Duo!, by Captain Marbles (COMPLETE!): "Tom Sloane was on his way back from a snack run at the local Food Lord when he decided to turn on the radio. Might as well listen to some tunes, he thought as he pressed the radio's power button."

Friday, March 3, 2017

A Double Holiday and a Triple Anniversary!


Theresa's about to lose her temper with the Fashion Club, but someone should remind her that today is both Employee Appreciation Day and National Salesperson Day, so that makes all of the aggravation worthwhile. Really.

Today is also the anniversary of the episodes "Esteemsters," "The Old and the Beautiful," and "Antisocial Climbers," which aired on this day in 1997, 1999, and 2000. That means, of course, that today is also the twentieth anniversary of Daria itself. Woot!

Fandom News!

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

The Birth of Jake


Jake's doing a slightly disturbing recreation of The Birth of Venus in honor of the birth of Sandro Botticelli on this day in 1445. I'm no expert on art, but I think the boxer shorts kind of ruin the effect. On the other hand, Daria and Quinn would much prefer he keep them on.

Less known to fandom, aside from those brave and/or sadistic fans who played the game, is that Jane also made an appearance as Venus in Daria's Inferno. Fully clothed, in case you're curious.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Appointment, by elainefr (part 6): "'Hello?' 'Hey Daria......it's Trent.' Momentary silence; she'd seen the Lane name come up and had assumed that it was Jane since she had went home for the weekend- again."

  • Calls the Tune (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Are you done?' Jane asked. 'Coming,' Daria said. She dodged from behind the tombstone and made her presence known."

  • Consequences, by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "Brittany tried to focus on the worn romance novel in her hands, but just found herself reading the same sentence over and over again. With a sigh, she got up off her bed and replaced the book on the shelf."

  • From Both Sides, by mailorderannie (part 1): "The knock on the apartment door caused Daria to grumble as she rolled out of bed. 'Tuesdays are for sleeping in until noon!' she muttered as she threw on a robe."

  • The Gonzo Papers, by Two-Eyed Charlie (parts 1a and 1b): "'Thanks for coming in, Ms. Morgendorffer.' 'Thanks for giving me the hope of a constant paycheck and more than half a meal a day.'" (Part 1b)

  • The Great War of the Dale, by Wassersauefer (part 1): "A lot of things could be said about Jojaje. First of all, Jojaje was of course not the real name for this individual... um, creature. Yes, creature was perhaps the best way of describing him. Them. It was confusing sometimes."

  • Someone had to do it, by Rémi (parts 6 and 7): "This was an uneventful night. Daria and Jane were sharing a pizza at Pizza King : it had quickly became an habit for both of them. - So, what about those rumors ? asked Jane between two bites." (Part 7)

  • Telling Tales Out of School, by Kristen Bealer (part 2): "The next stop was a girl David had tutored unsuccessfully the previous summer: Stacy Rowe. He remembered her as willing to learn but unable to get past her debilitating panic attacks over...well, everything. He rang the doorbell and waited."

  • top baller, by rvgonzal (part 3): "Casa lane/ Janes massive loft suite. Janes artwork is displayed throughout the walls of suite along with many of her sculptures decorating the rooms. The rooms are beautifully painted with warm brown colors and plush carpeting."

Monday, February 27, 2017

Sorry, Daria, No Brains Allowed Today!


Zombie Kevin is out of luck, because today is No Brainer Day. Then again, even regular Kevin is out of luck when it comes to brains. Just ask Mr. DeMartino.

Today is also National Strawberry Day, so this is your chance to visit The Big Strawberry, Lawndale's most famous--and only--attraction.

Fandom News!