Monday, November 24, 2014

Daria Prefers to Lose Friends and Alienate People

Jodie's rereading How to Win Friends and Influence People in honor of the author, Dale Carnegie, who was born on this day in 1888. How she has time for what I assume is leisure reading is beyond me, but I'm sure she's just cramming in a few pages before her next obligation.

Today is also Evolution Day, which celebrates the anniversary of the publication of Charles Darwin's book On the Origin of Species in 1859. In the immortal words of Kevin Thompson, "Darwin's the monkey guy, right? I like monkeys."

Fanfic Update!
  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 77): "Unnoticed, in a familiar, yet parallel universe... 'Substitutions for the fourth quarter! Garrity, Parham, Dressler, Hackney! You're up!'"

  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 27): "'Jay, c'mon--if you get behind this--'"

  • The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (part 155): "'I am very seriously considering taking you out of Fielding for this stunt of yours,' Helen said."

  • Hey Man, Nice Shot, by 45Ranger (parts 4 and 5): "Daria stepped through the door. 'You wanted to see me?' 'Yes, Morgendorffer, take a seat. I want to discuss the shortcomings of your training.' Armalin raised his hand to forestall the protest he knew was coming." (Part 5)

  • Lawndale High Society (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "'Expelled, Elsie? Expelled?' Angier said in disgust, 'Five generations of Sloanes have all graduated from Fielding and you're the first to get expelled. What do you have to say for yourself, young lady?'"

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (parts 5 and 6): "'I hereby call this meeting of the Misery Chicks Local 513 to order,' Jane said, grinning broadly. Stacy chuckled, Andrea took a drag off her cigarette and said nothing, and Daria rolled her eyes. Quinn glanced around the circle, shrugged to herself, and walked over to the nearby tool shed to see if anything interesting was inside." (Part 6)

  • Redux, by Princess_Pasta (part 16): "'Go ahead and say it.' Daria muttered, 'This is what I deserve for treating you like crap. You can have the reigns back. I'm through.' Quinn shook her head, 'I wasn't going to say that. I don't really know what to say.'"

  • Scars, by legendeld (parts 4 and 5): "Helen Morgendorffer had felt many emotions throughout her life, standing in her bedroom with her husband looking like he was having to restrain himself from tossing her under the nearest bus was bringing out something far worse than fear, shame." (Part 5)

  • That was then, this is weird, by Ranma (COMPLETE!): "'I'll go see if we have any popcorn, we should since Trent's afraid of it now' Jane said getting up from her bed. 'That sounds goo... wait; what? Trent's afraid of popcorn, how'd that happen?' asked Daria with her left eyebrow raised."

Saturday, November 22, 2014

"Now cashews, those are what the big guys eat...the CEOs!"

Jake is contemplating his very favorite nut on National Cashew Day, and I think he's a little worried that he isn't worthy to eat a CEO-level snack. Go for it, Jake. Shoot for the stars!

In Daria fanfic news, paperpusher's story "Her, Uh, Cane" was published on on this day in 1998, making it the earliest Daria fanfic on the site. It depicted a hurricane before the episode "Daria!" did, even though no one broke into song in the fanfic.

Fandom News!

Thursday, November 20, 2014

It's a Good Day to Quit!

It's the Great American Smokeout, so put away your cigarettes, cancel your pot party, and put a stop to that exorcism in the girl's bathroom. It's never been established whether or not Trent smokes anything, but with that laid-back attitude and recurring cough, I know where my money lies.

Fanfic Update!
  • Always Watches (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "'I made you a present!' Five year old Jane Lane was holding a crudely wrapped gift in her paint stained hands, a wide toothy grin spread across her grubby face."

  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 25 and 26): "'Daria?' It was Thomas Klebanow, the managing editor. 'Can you come into the conference room?'" (Part 26)

  • Bedtime Story, by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "Another day was coming to a close and so Daria walked into her son's room, to tuck him in and kiss him goodnight."

  • A Boring Summer, by ST91 (part 1): "Dario Morgendorffer was lying on his stomach on the bed listlessly flipping through a book. It had been less than two weeks after the end of the school but Dario could not wait for it to start again. He was dying of boredom."

  • Broken, by tafka (part 2): "I felt ill. This was the last thing I needed. To be singled out in front of the whole class. Why not the whole school while he was at it?"

  • Daria Saves Christmas! (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Tuisto (COMPLETE!): "Daria was walking down Dega street, she had just a few minutes before past by the Good Times chinese restaurant when she saw him, the young blond man in a red shirt and a red cap, was leaning against a wall, his face turning blue and he grabbed at his throat."

  • Dials are Overrated (Collection of old never used story starters), by legendeld (unfinished): "With a grunt she lifted it up only to hear a loud cracking noise. The fall lasted a second at the most and the impact shook her entire body. 'DARIA!'"

  • First Day of Summer - Jane's Day, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The knocking was what woke Jane up. 'Who could that be?' she wondered as she slipped out of bed. She slipped on her dressing gown over her bedclothes and headed downstairs."

  • The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (part 154): "'Hello, Quinn,' he said. 'I suppose I caught you at a bad time.' 'Yeah,' Quinn said. 'You did.' She was referring to her neck brace. 'So you've heard the news? That Fielding is in serious trouble?'"

  • Hey Man Nice Shot, by 45Ranger (parts 1 - 3): "Colonel Armalin sat at the small conference table with Nemec, Verbeck, Jahr, and Randall – The Legion Training Cadre – as they had their weekly meeting to discuss the progress of the various Legionnaires." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Life and Other Plans (Collection of old never used story starters), by legendeld (unfinished): "'I'm sorry we'll have question and answer time a little later.' Her new English teacher said before looking like he was about to go into more of the feel good nonsense that was her current punishment for not fitting in with the crowd. 'I need to go to the bathroom.'"

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 4): "The PA system crackled to life, and Ms. Li's voice said, 'Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane to my office. Thank you.' 'That's not ominous,' Jane said, regarding the speaker suspiciously."

  • Scars, by legendeld (parts 1 - 3): "The first thing she felt was pain, a pain that seemed to cover her entire body. It pushed away the comfortable numbness and forced her closer and closer to consciousness." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Sick Sad Web, by Princess_Pasta (parts 1 and 2): "Andrea Hecuba was tired. Not tired enough to really want to go home but enough that she could feel it with each step she took." (Part 2)

  • Star Trek: Daria - Resurrection, by echopapa (parts 12 and 13): "'I had returned to my cabin,' the cadet continued, 'And was almost finished packing when I saw a movement outside my window. I looked up and saw a ghostly shape glide up alongside the Enterprise and come to a halt...'" (Part 13)

  • Tedieval Times (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Life in the Middle Ages? I suppose we could synthesize the bubonic plague in science class, but could we get government approval? And how will our positions in the feudal system be assigned? Oh dear! Will I have to start bathing less often?"

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Can Daria and Kevin Teach Him to Talk in a High-Pitched Voice?

Happy birthday to the cartoon character Mickey Mouse, who first appeared in Steamboat Willie on this day in 1928. Yeah, I know that isn't a picture of Mickey Mouse, but I'm in no mood to get sued and Roger was more than willing to step into the role for the day. Just keep Brian Taylor away from him.

Fandom News!

Sunday, November 16, 2014

Yes, I Believe They Do Want Fries With That

Daria and Jane are waiting in line for some delicious fries (or perhaps some delicious things) because today is National Fast Food Day. If you want to see what it would be like if the Fashion Club got jobs in the fast food industry, look no further than S-C's fanart "Burger World." Makes me laugh every time I see it.

Fanfic Update!
  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 23 and 24): "McNulty grinned. 'So—are you so all that that Hopkins will let you expense this meal?' Colvin laughed. 'Maybe just the steak, but everything else? Not a chance in hell—but I think what happened today is worth celebrating—Doctor.'" (Part 24)

  • Daria's Rugrats (IC Runaway Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (prologue): "Didi Pickles was reviewing class notes for the next day when the door bell rang. 'At this hour?' she wondered. She went to the door. What she saw next shocked her."

  • Dinnertime (IC: Daria, the MasterChef), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Passing the doorway, she was not surprised to see her sister inside, Leaning above the kitchen isle and with her back to the stove, Daria momentarily took her eyes from her work to check her sister."

  • Forced Impression, by Indigo (part 4): "'You hear that? He hasn't got a prayer.' Jane commented as they continued walking. Before Daria could respond, Quinn noticed her sister passing by and called after her. 'Hi Daria.'"

  • A Man and His Box, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 10): "It was very weird, seeing Lawndale from the perspective of the past. Over the past day the Doctor, Nyssa and herself had scoured the town for unusual activity, only taking a break to spend the night at the Dutchman Inn."

  • Misunderstood (Collection of old never used story starters), by legendeld (unfinished): "Daria wiped away the wetness that was running down the side of her face, wincing when it stung. The hand she lowered was slick with blood. A gentle knocking on the window got her attention."

  • Special Needs (Collection of old never used story starters), by legendeld (unfinished): "Daria Morgendorffer ran her hands through her shoulder length hair and groaned loudly before trying to speak. 'So where exactly does this leave us?'"

  • With Zombies (Collection of old never used story starters), by legendeld (unfinished): "'So to summarize, we now have our afternoons free and your parents are falling over themselves to keep your self esteem up.' Jane said as she walked with her new friend. They were heading toward Jane's house to celebrate their successful escape from the self esteem class or as Daria called it, torture."

Friday, November 14, 2014

The Prancing Principal

Ms. Li is reprising her "brief career as a dancer" in this alter ego of the late dancer and actress Louise Brooks, who was born on this day in 1906. The Angst Guy has previously pointed out that Jane bears a striking resemblance to Brooks, but I'll let you decide.

Today is also World Diabetes Day, and Mr. O'Neill and Jane would like to share this advice with everyone:
Mr. O'Neill: You know what they say; a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.

Jane: Not if you're diabetic.
Fandom News!

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Do Anchovies Go Well with Processed Cheese?

Ted's shocked because his pizza is missing the anchovies, but that's okay because it's National Pizza With Everything (Except Anchovies) Day. I suppose if you really, really want to have anchovies on your pizza, then go ahead. I won't tell. Just make sure you brush your teeth afterward, okay?

Fanfic Update!
  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 21 and 22): "'You wanna what, Zig?!?!' Nicky Sobotka roared, and slammed the barrier that separated him from his cousin with the phone receiver." (Part 22)

  • Character defining moments, by Walter Kovacs (COMPLETE!): "Days like these made Charles Rodriguez, the caseworker handling this file wish he had called in sick two weeks ago when his stomach felt slightly gimpy from last night's dinner."

  • How Jodie Landon Became a Woman of Independent Means (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Michelle was at the counter, pouring a cup of coffee from a steaming carafe. She turned to her daughter, smiling mischievously, and held out the mug of hot liquid."

  • One Way to Do It, by Tippedover (COMPLETE!): "Stacy sat in the driver’s seat of her fathers Crown Victoria, and tried to stay calm. She could feel the sweat starting to pop up to the surface (Tiffany: Staaacccyyy! Ewwwwww!) as she stretched the seat belt across her chest and lap."

  • The Phantom of the Library, by neonhomer (part 6): "The home of the Min's was a modest, two-story structure with a perfectly manicured lawn and an in-ground pool in the backyard. Matt could count the number of times he'd been there on one hand."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Tuisto (COMPLETE!): "The sun had just finished setting over Lawndale as Helen Morgendorffer walked the empty halls of her Law Firms offices, passing by empty room after empty room, until she reached her corner office. She was hoping she'd be able to get some motions finished and be home before 10:00 this time..."

  • West End Girls (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "She was too cold. He was too rough. They would destroy each other soon enough if one of them didn't have the courage to break it off and she had never lacked for courage. So she broke first. 'Over. We're over.'"

  • What it Takes (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Daria entered the bathroom and turned on the shower but she didn't get in right away. She stared at herself in the mirror with utter disgust."

Monday, November 10, 2014

Today's Blog Post was Brought to You by the Number 45!

Let's all join Muppet Daria in wishing a happy 45th birthday to Sesame Street, which first aired on this day in 1969. Mike Xeno wrote a Daria/Sesame Street crossover fanfic, "D is for Daria," which is worth a read even if you aren't a Sesame Street fan.

Today is also National Forget-Me-Not Day, and O'Neill will be happy to celebrate it with all of his students as soon as he can finally memorize their names from his seating charts. Don't hold your breath.

Fandom News!

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Two Authors, One Birthday

Happy birthday to the late author Margaret Mitchell, who was born on this day in 1900. Jake and Helen are reenacting a scene from Mitchell's novel Gone with the Wind, and I must say they look pretty darn cute together there.

While we're celebrating birthdays, we should also remember Bram Stoker, or as Sandi likes to call him, Brad. Stoker was born on this day in 1847, and his best-known work is Dracula. Just so we're clear, I'm talking about Bram Stoker's Dracula, not Sandi Griffin's Dracula.

Fanfic Update!
  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 18 - 20): "Daria stood outside the Lawndale Heights Condominiums complex, looked back whence she came, and shivered. She took a pack of cigarettes from her jacket pocket, struggled to open it, but then jammed it back into her pocket, and took out her phone." (Part 19) (Part 20)

  • A Different Look at 1111, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "It was early in the Summer between her Junior and Senior years at Lawndale High, and Stacy Rowe was visiting her best friend, Quinn Morgendorffer."

  • The Mageborn Cynic, by peetz5050 (part 35): "A few moments later a captain rode up to Jakob and saluted. 'Good afternoon your Grace. The Major asked me to intercept you and report that her Grace, the Duchess of Barksdale, has kindly offered to billet our troops in her late husband's barracks as the Duke of Barksdale's regiment is already with his majesty and she requests that you and your senior officers join her for dinner this evening.'"

  • Mine Origins, by Vukodlak (part 5): "As promised Jack arrived within an hour and a few brief introductions he asked the rest of the family vacate the kitchen while he conducted the interview."

  • Mirror, Mirror, by NightGoblyn (part 2): "'I call upon the darkest magicks,' Daria intoned, and took a deep breath of incense. 'I summon the dark, and from the dark, I summon the power to destroy. Come to me!'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "Mr. O'Neill - It means... look, just let me get through this part, okay? Then there'll be a video! Daria - (Standing up) No, it is not okay."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "So, where do I start? I'm sorry."

  • Zero (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer allowed herself a brief moment of introspection as she considered the events that led to her enjoying such a beautiful day instead of holing herself in her bedroom until noon, which had become routine for her since she started her summer break."

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Quick, Someone Hide the Hot Sauce!

Sit back and let ol' Jakey take care of cooking tonight because it's National Men Make Dinner Day! On a side note, I'm pretty sure Pizza Prince delivers. Just in case you're not in the mood for Kitchen Sink Stew.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

The Pharaoh of Self-Esteem Class

Mr. O'Neill is looking very regal for a man wearing a skirt, but that's because today is King Tut Day! It's the anniversary of the discovery of Tutankhamen's tomb in 1922, at which point the archaeologists were able to figure out whether he was buried without his diver or his liver.

Also, happy birthday to Wendy Hoopes, the actress who voiced Helen, Quinn, and Jane. She was born on this day in 1972, and I'm pretty sure she still has her liver. No clue about her diver, though.

Fanfic Update!
  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 76): "'Hello Thystun. I was wondering if you could do me a favor?' The voice belonged to Ethan Dressler."

  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 12 - 17): "He disliked being in a room that did not have any natural light other than his lab. In the lab, he was either engrossed in a task, watching a movie, or weeping on the floor. Here, without anything to attend to except as his fancy might strike him, he was extremely uncomfortable." (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17)

  • Dax and the Time Lord, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (prologue): "As she approached Quarks, Ezri heard a familiar sound that she hadn't heard since before she was joined. It was a sound as of some strained mechanism. (She supposed it was strained, given how old it was.) She turned and saw a blue box appear out of thin air near the security office."

  • Lane Lane, by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "Daria grumbled. 'Just keep in mind that in a couple of years it's going to be illegal for us to go after teenaged girls.' Daria grumbled again. 'Okay, fine, be that way. All I'm saying is the window of opportunity is closing fast, and we have to get in before it closes.'"

  • The Many Doctors - Chapter 26, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Martha heard the explosion and rounded a corner, almost running into Felicia. 'What are you doing here?' the Doctor asked. Martha held out the sonic. 'I'm returning this. I thought you might need it.'"

  • The Phantom of the Library, by neonhomer (part 5): "'Well, this book so far has caused both Aunt Quinn, my mother, and my father to act weird.' 'Define weird' 'Aunt Quinn told me that the book meant a lot to her. My mom looked like she was going to throw up, and my dad told me to never mention the name of the girl in the book to my mother again.'"

  • Quinn Bobs Her Hair, by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Half-way home she noticed Jane in further study of her bald pate. She stopped. 'What is it now, Lane? I swear if you paint a picture of this I'll....'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crack Pairing Madness), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Bobby Stuart sat in the holding cell at the police station, his head in his hands. Well, that escalated quickly, he thought to himself."

Sunday, November 2, 2014

"Cheer, cheer, cheer. Yell, yell, yell. Who cares who wins? We're all going to hell."

Daria is ready to celebrate the anniversary of cheerleaders, which were made official on this day in 1898. She's also simultaneously freaking everyone out a little bit. When did Ms. Li get her hands on mind-altering drugs, exactly?

We should also take a moment to wish Marie Antoinette a happy birthday, as the ill-fated French queen was born on this day in 1755. Even if she never really said "Let them eat cake," we still (according to Quinn's tutor David) have her to thank for our champagne glasses.

Also, if you live in an area with Daylight Savings Time, I hope you remembered to set your clocks back one hour last night and enjoyed the extra hour of sleep!

Fandom News!

Friday, October 31, 2014

Trick or Treat!

Happy Halloween! Daria's suited up for the occasion, and let's hope she gets plenty of candy tonight. Anyone looking for some spooky reading material can check out this list of Halloween-related Daria fanfics. The list hasn't been updated recently, though, so please also mention your favorites in the comments!

Fanfic Update!
  • Are You Afraid Of The Daria?, by peapotmaster (part 1): "I've seen many things in Lawndale ever since I've been here, but the strangest thing of all happened to me a few times over...Everyone was smiling at me. What the hell?"

  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 11): "A slender young man sat behind the desk in the dark. Rather, he had reclined behind it, and had put his feet upon it. An older man of impressive girth charged in and turned on the light. The young man barely blinked."

  • Daria: College Pains Redux, by James the Lesser (part 24): "Daria leaves the classroom as fast as she can. She couldn't handle another second of the screaming preteens."

  • Lane Lane, by InvisibleDan (parts 1 - 3): "Daria looked at her cell phone and thought to herself, I've moved from Hell only to find myself in Purgatory." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Of Hearts and Minds Book II: Present, by mac (part 6): "Daria Morgendorffer, her father, Jake, and her step-mother, Phoebe, were gathered around the kitchen table. It was time for a serious conversation."

  • Possibilities, by Sureia (part 25): "He'd settled his glasses on his nose when the office buzzer rang. Glancing at his watch in confusion, he checked himself in the mirror and opened the door. 'Linda,' he said, smiling broadly, 'good morning. Please, come in.'"

  • Quinn Bobs Her Hair, by EntrancedCat (part 1): "After her parents had gone shopping and Quinn was off on her usual Friday evening dates Daria put her hastily but well thought out plan into its first phases. She called Jane. 'Jane, I thought of a great idea to solve my problems with Quinn's hair and teach her a lesson too.'"

  • Quinn's Code 11: The Geek Hunter, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "'Now,' Sandi Griffin said to her Fashion Club. 'Let's find that Geek and cover her with paint!' 'Is that such a good idea, Sandi?' Tori Jericho asked. She was concerned that Sandi would go too far."

  • RA Extra: We need to talk, by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "SANDI: Stop! TOM: What is it? SANDI: That. TOM: What? SANDI: (Sandi Pointing to Tom's Costume) THAT! You wore that last year."

  • Roadkill (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "'So what're we going to do now?' Mack asked. 'Pray, coat ourselves with barbeque sauce or resign ourselves to our fate and let Kevin play with the grenade box.' Daria snarked."

  • Worth a thousand words (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Indigo (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer was not looking forward to the phone call she was about to make, but it was the biggest thing that had happened so far in her writing career and she had to be the one to break the news to those closest to her."

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

She's Aliiiiiive!

Jane's trying out yet another new look today because it's National Frankenstein Day. Instead of the Lady or the Tiger, I suppose today it's the Beauty or the Beast.

Today is also Hermit Day, so Quinn recommends that everyone "just hide in your room like a kermit!" Take that whichever way you like.

Fandom News!

Monday, October 27, 2014

It Was a Dark and Stormy Night

Daria's holding a special reading in honor of National Tell a Story Day, and the other girls seem to be really interested. I'm sure that has more to do with the choice of material than with Daria's soothing reading voice, but at least they're paying attention. Maybe if they're really good, she'll favor them with a couple of Melody Powers stories, as well!

Fanfic Update!
  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 10): "While Jesse didn't think he was back in New Mexico, he was unnerved by the landscape, and almost called Jim Vitale to make some excuse as to why he would not be at the Twister! Roadhouse near Fremont."

  • DW: Legacy of the Doctor, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Susan is awake, writing on the floorboards. SFX: Dinosaur roars. Susan hears. She goes to the door. Susan: Not this way. It'd be boring."

  • Mind Games (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by (COMPLETE!): "Anthony rubbed his temples with frustration and disgust."

  • Misfire (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "Anthony: 'OW! Damn it!!' Claire: (sighing as she stitches Anthony's shoulder) 'Anthony if you keep moving I won't be able to stitch up your wound.'"

  • New Beginnings (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "It was Saturday at the Alpha Delta Phi sorority house and that meant that there was a party brewing."

  • Plans Tonight, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "I sit on the edge of the bathtub listening to the rythmic pounding on the door."

  • The Siren (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Tuisto (COMPLETE!): "Daria's steely hate filled gaze was a promise of murder and mayhem as she stared holes into a card left for her by her mother Helen."

  • Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 18): "'Dr. Morgendorffer....' 'Yes, Hilda.' 'The results of the Ralston Brain Test on Mrs. Strassbyre are back from the lab.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes that should be: Pacific Rimmers), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Before Daria could figure out what Jane was talking about, she heard the sound 'woooooOOOOOoooo!!' like a freight train. Jane ran into the living room, waving her hands wildly around, and lept over the side of the couch, tackling Daria as she landed."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes that should be: Pacific Rimmers), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer lay in the mud near the small cabin. During the last 17 hours, she had to learn how to dig in, and she had already dig the small trench for herself."

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Or You Could Have Some Frozen Lasagna Instead

Jake doesn't appear to be having much fun on World Pasta Day, but that may just be because the pesto is oxidizing. Trent, on the other hand, really hopes that there will be fettuccini bolognese. It's his favorite!

If pasta doesn't appeal to you, you could always celebrate National Greasy Foods Day instead. Stop off at Cluster Burger or just grab a slice at Pizza Prince. They really did add a quart of grease to the recipe, after all.

Whatever you have, eat plenty of it because today is also The Feast Day of St. Daria. Okay, it's not the same Daria. And that's not what they mean by "feast." But just roll with it, okay?

Fandom News!

Thursday, October 23, 2014

Start Your Morning Off Cynical!

Daria and Jane are on the air to celebrate TV Talk Show Host Day! I would really love to hear the story behind that particular alter ego. Maybe one or both of the girls lost a bet. Regardless of the reason, I think Daria dies a little bit inside every time she has to smile like that. As for Jane? Jane looks like she's finally snapped.

Fanfic Update!
  • Ah, Hell, by metameric1 (part 23): "'Christmas break and we're eating rubber turkey,' Jane snickered. 'Guess we have to get my bro to buy us some wine or something to compensate.'"

  • "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 8 and 9): "The young woman on the floor of the kitchen in the dingy apartment had not moved since the emergency medical technicians and the police officers had come in. She had a weak pulse, shallow respiration, and was unresponsive to vocal and physical stimulus." (Part 9)

  • Fear and Loathing in Lawndale (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "It was late on a Saturday night, well past the time that any average person would've been awake. But Todd didn't pride himself on being ordinary."

  • The Phantom of the Library, by neonhomer and Princess_Pasta (part 4): "Finally, Abby turned towards him, a look of concern on her face, 'Okay, there's obviously something weird going on here. Something very weird.'"

  • The Silent Cynic (Scenes that should be: Pacific Rimmers), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Daria knew that nothing was sustainable. It seemed like everyday things got worse and worse."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "'I call upon the darkest magicks,' Andrea intoned, and took a deep breath of incense. 'I summon the dark, and from the dark, I summon the power to destroy. Come to me!'"

  • Untitled Random Ficlet, by Silver (COMPLETE!): "He wanted to say it always began with murder. He really did. But the truth was that it almost never began with murder."

  • Urban Hell, by Jeremy Garrett (part 7): "Right across town, inside the meeting room of the local police department, there was a lot of commotion."

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

"Stupid five-sided building."

Helen, Jake, and their hippie friends are doing their best to levitate the Pentagon in what was probably a reference to the real-life attempt to do the same on this day in 1967. It seems Jake had no better luck than they did, perhaps because Jake's positive energy was somehow lacking. I can't even imagine how that might be the case, though.

Speaking of blasts from the past, better brush off your old VCR because the first Daria VHS tape was released on this day in 1997. It was oh-so-creatively titled "Daria," and featured the first three episodes of the series as well as the pilot episode, "Sealed with a Kick."

Fandom News!

Sunday, October 19, 2014

I'd Listen to Him. Jake's Got His Life Pretty Much Together, After All!

They took your identity, Daria? Then you walk away. You change your name, move to another state, get some ID. It's not too late to start over, Daria, it's not too late! You're still a young man! You don't have to live with your mistakes! Get out while you can!
Jake is offering some very useful advice in honor of Evaluate Your Life Day, and you can follow it if you'd like. On the other hand, you might consider just taking up a new hobby instead. Your call.

Fanfic Update!
  • The College Try: Daria at Raft, by unrein_dreissig (COMPLETE!): "Early one beautiful late-August morning, the Morgendorffers pulled into Raft University. Daria was as close to exited as she ever been. The six hour drive to Boston was finally over. So were her days in Lawndale."

  • Daria's Roundworld, by TheTuxedo (part 3): "Trent slowly rose to his feet, feeling upwards to make sure he didn't bang his head into anything, and found that there was no chest above him, and apparently, no chest in any other direction. He'd fallen into the chest, and now he was... somewhere else."

  • Keep Your Chin Up, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The first pinpoints of daylight cast a thin shadow on the soft grass in front of the group of eighteen cadets doing push-ups in the center of Rogers Field (the USAES athletic grounds, on the opposite side of the Academy Forest from the USAES Main Campus) as another cadet (the assigned corrective measures proctor) watched over them."

  • Halloween Party (Scenes that should be: Pacific Rimmers), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Scene 1: At a party with various persons in costume we come across Daria, Jane, and Tom in costumes as well."

  • The Many Doctors - Chapter 26, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "When they got onto the roof, they saw Lazarus and Tish looking over at Southwark Cathedral. '...hard to believe the moment's finally arrived,' Lazarus was saying. 'Falls the Shadow,' the Doctor quoted as he approached."

  • Motherless Son (Discussion/Possible I.C: Jake without Ruth), by Cap (part 1): "Well, he toughened Jake up finally. It took years. If Ruth had not died of pneumonia just months after his return from combat he might have never been successful. She would have mollycoddled him into uselessness."

  • Sisters and Friends, by metameric1 (part 22): "'Ms. Morgendorffer,' Dr. Maas said slowly as he settled into his chair, 'I'd like to know how you think you're doing in this program.'"

  • Thicker Than Water (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "The full moon shined down from the darkened night sky, casting illumination on two lone figures standing in the middle of an otherwise abandoned clearing."

  • Up In Smoke, by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Dr. Greene sat behind his desk, his face not betraying anything. Jane hated that the most. If he looked upset or excited then she could get a good gauge of the news he was going to tell her. The calm and collected routine only made her more nervous." (Part 6)

Friday, October 17, 2014

Go, Mack Daddy, Go!

Mack is getting in touch with his inner daredevil because today is the anniversary of Evel Knievel's birth in 1938. I wonder if Mack got the idea from Kevin's motorcycle stunt. If so, he'd better watch out for the Tommy Sherman Memorial Tree--I mean, Crutch.

This is also Wear Something Gaudy Day, which is probably near the top of the list of the Fashion Club's least favorite holidays. What if someone wears...gasp...stretch pants?!

Finally, happy birthday to Mike Judge! The man who created Beavis and Butt-head turns 52 today.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

This Blog Post Sucks

It was on this day, according to This Book Sucks, that Daria submitted an assignment for Human Sciences class consisting of an interview with Beavis and Butt-head. The interview focused on urban legends, perhaps making it a prequel to the Daria episode "Legends of the Mall." But probably not.

Also, happy birthday to the late philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche, born on this day in 1844. One of his famous quotes, "That which does not kill us makes us stronger," was repeated by Daria in "The Invitation" to comfort Brittany over the wet lunch trays.

Fanfic Update!
  • Action Stories #5: When it Rains, it Pours, by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "'I wish you weren't leaving,' Jane said. 'Yeah, me too,' Rayne said. 'But I'll be back, I promise. I need to do this.'"

  • Always look on the Bright Side (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "'Anthony, it seems that you have a visitor.' the nurse beamed, 'See? You do have people that care about you.'" (Part 2)

  • Behind the Counter, by NightGoblyn (part 14): "'Tha . . . hey, wait a minute,' Daria said, slapping one hand down on the corner of the bag before the man could take it. 'This is Canadian money.'"

  • Falling Away From Me, by Sailor Pluto (part 1): "If someone had to put it nicely, Highland was, Highland was, okay so there was no way of putting it nicely because Highland was basically a shithole of a town which made a person wonder how anyone could possibly live there."

  • Mind Games (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Snow-Kitty (part 1): "'Mr. DeMartino, I think you have something stuck to your ... um ... butt,' Jane said, pointing to the tall, lanky man's behind."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by Waylander (part 4): "Tom Sloane started to suspect that his soon-to-be-former best friends Pat Seven and Terry Wicklemore were a part of Fielding's criminal underworld. That was the only explanation of his latest bout of stupidity."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'All right, Quinn,' Mrs. Barch said, as she handed the redhead a pistol, 'It's time for your final test - to see if you've renounced the ways of women acting solely to please men.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "'So, um,' Timothy O'Neill paused to glance at his seating chart. 'Bob? Would you like to tell me about what we just read?'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'...I made a bad decision regarding drinking,' Tom said, 'That decision almost cost me my life. However, the scandalous accusations surrounding that event never happened. I completely deny them.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "The pain throbbing through the back of his skull was almost blinding, easily holding its own with the aches and pains the rest of his body was emitting. The fact he could remember how he'd ended up cracked over the skull to end up unconscious on his back in one of Lawndale's less pleasant alleys wasn't helping."

  • Up In Smoke, by Princess_Pasta (part 4): "Laughter rose up around the small comedy club as Jane stood on stage, smiling radiantly. Quinn watched her, clapping politely but never smiling. Seeing her there only reminded Quinn of what was going on inside of her."

  • Urban Hell, by Jeremy Garrett (part 6): "Minutes went by until a wave of hunger hit Ted. Taking a look around, he soon spotted an ordinary looking pizzeria and decided to give it a shot."

Monday, October 13, 2014

A Dubious Holiday

Daria's feeling extra skeptical today because it's International Skeptics Day. Or at least it might be. Don't take my word for it, okay?

Fandom News!

Saturday, October 11, 2014

It's Her Party and She'll Snark if She Wants To

Daria may not be enjoying It's My Party Day, but everyone else seems to be. If you want, throw a party of your own to celebrate someone's oarents (yours or anyone else's) being out of town. Unless you'd prefer to swallow glass instead.

Fanfic Update!
  • Action Stories #5: When it Rains, it Pours, by NightGoblyn (part 3): "'Alright, we're going to have to steer Quinn away from taking you to get your hair done,' Jane said, talking to her cousin as they walked down Dega street. 'I'm guessing that since you're Kryptonian, you have the same powers I do, so scissors are not going to cut it, literally.'"

  • Behind the Counter, by NightGoblyn (part 13): "'Yo,' Jane called out from behind the register. 'Cooler's done, I'm gonna book as soon as you're ready to start. I'm missing a party right now.' 'Yeah, yeah,' Daria said, stifling a yawn. She swung by the coffee area and poured herself a cup, then walked around behind the counter and froze."

  • Broken, by tafka (part 1): "The car came to a slow stop as it cracked along the crisp, grey gravel drive. I looked up at the building that was to be my home – for how long, I don't know."

  • Daria: College Pains Redux, by James the Lesser (part 24): "Daria hears her cellphone ring but she is at work so doesn't answer it. 'Ironico is not a word.' She deletes the o on the end and continues reading through the article."

  • Death To Fashion (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "'Stacy, I'll ask you again. How do you explain this crime against fashion?'"

  • Kittens And Khaos (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "Todd Ianuzzi was sat in at the kitchen table in his cabin, out in an isolated area of Lawndale. He was gently stroking a tabby cat called Trudy, who he'd rescued from a tree several months ago, and he had doted on her ever since."

  • The Many Doctors, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 26): "Martha Jones was not impressed that the Doctor had apparently picked up someone else whilst he had been away. This 'Felicia' person was not explaining herself, but was clearly was not comfortable around the Doctor."

  • The Phantom of the Library, by neonhomer and Princess_Pasta (part 2): "Matthew spun around to see a woman with long, red hair waving at him. He turned and walked over to her. 'Hi Aunt Quinn.' He said kind of glumly."

  • Redux, by Princess_Pasta (part 15): "Skylar wasn't expecting the offending comment. He turned around, searching for the source of the question. Standing in the locker bank adjacent to him was a guy he only knew by last name. Lane."

Thursday, October 9, 2014

"I want cheese! Gimme cheese!" Or maybe not....

The Lanes are celebrating Moldy Cheese Day in their very own fridge, although I doubt it was intentional. Still haven't figured out what that red stuff is, either. Fortunately, Daria's plastic cheese wedge should still be mold-free. And if it isn't, that girl really needs to clean her room.

If you're plagued by moldy cheese, just don't kill it with fire because today is also Fire Prevention Day. Just remember the Lane family rule about about not building fires in rooms that don't have fireplaces and you should be fine. Jake, I'm looking at you and your paper towels.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

Also Known As Criminale Day!

Max gets a special star today because it's Bald and Free Day, and Max is the only bald Daria character I can remember off the top of my head. (Rimshot.) I suppose if "Dye! Dye! My Darling" had gone a little differently, Jane might have joined him on this holiday. For Daria's sake, I'm glad it didn't.

Fanfic Update!
  • Action Stories #5: When it Rains, it Pours, by NightGoblyn (parts 2 and 3): "Jim Vitale glanced over Linda's shoulder, his eyes briefly locking with those of his young protege, and his soft smile hardened for the briefest of seconds. 'So, Sandi, where's that office? I was thinking that we could handle this with alacrity, then maybe I could take you and your mother out to lunch.'" (Part 3)

  • All Relative (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "(Brittany raises her hand) Mr. DeMartino: Yes, BRITTANY? Brittany: Who's that guy standing next to you and what happened to your arm? Mr. DeMartino: I was JUST getting to that."

  • All the things she said, by 39medalla (COMPLETE!): "Jane una vez oyó hablar a Daria sobre un poema acerca de cómo era la vida bajo el sol."

  • Behind the Counter, by NightGoblyn (part 12): "'I need to see your ID,' Daria said, her flat monotone more bored than usual. 'No ID, no beer. It's not just a good idea, it's the law.'"

  • The Boleyn Girl, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In Whitehall Palace the Queen's apartments had entered a strange period of quiet after the hustle and bustle of the various members of the court scrambling to see the infant currently resting in the cradle."

  • Celebrity Status (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "(Set in the mid-late 2000's, new class of seniors and DeMartino's hair's gone completely grey but is slightly happier that he no longer has to teach Kevin) DeMartino: 'Would anyone ELSE care to BROADCAST their COMPLETE lack of EDUCATION?'"

  • The Drudge of Tomorrow, by TheTuxedo (COMPLETE!): "'Uhh, we're in Lawndale, kiddo. Remember? We just moved here,' Jake replied. 'I think I had a nightmare... I was in a car crash... but it was so... vivid.'"

  • Fleeting Innocence (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Splotches of dried blood dotted the toe of Jane's knee-high combat boots, spots of rust colored gore marring the otherwise perfect leather exterior. The beginning of a bruise was already coloring a spot near her right temple."

  • From J and D, with love (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "He didn't want the admiration or the fame. He only wanted one thing: to bring the Ianuzzis crashing back down to Earth."

  • Frown at the Dead, by Vick Pena (part 3): "Daria followed the sound downstairs. Her mom and dad were there, talking, or, to be accurate, whispering. By their voice inflection Daria got it was something serious but they stopped and changed the topic when they saw her walking into the room."

  • Going To The Chapel (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "'Is he sure he knows what he's doing?' Daria said quietly to Ashley. Ashley shrugged. 'I dunno. It's his life anyway. He can do what he wants with it.'" (Part 2)

  • Of Hearts and Minds Book II: Present, by mac (part 5): "Quinn Barksdale had always hated Mondays, and yesterday was no exception. She was still on thin ice with the popular crowd at school, failed a pop quiz in Math, and came home to find her mother drunkagain."

  • Out of Place, by PrecambrianStudios (part 6): "'This is a specialized tablet, Creator,' said the man, whom Lobinske realized as his own creation, Richard. 'It'll make you feel more comfortable.'"

  • The Phantom of the Library, by NeonHomer and Princess Pasta (part 1): "Matthew paused. 'When we went for the tour of the high school last year, the seniors that were showing us around were telling us the school is haunted.' Tristan went from laughing to taking on an ashen look."

  • See Jane... (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "A predatory grin spread across Jane Lane's pale face, an evil glint lighting in her bright blue eyes. There was blood to be spilled and she was itching to release the carnal fury burning within her."

  • Shush First, Answer Questions Later, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "The books were in alphabetical order, the complimentary coffee was brewing, the public-use computers were all (miraculously) functioning, and Daria Morgendorffer was prepared to start her first day as a librarian at the Alfred Joyce Kilmer Public Library."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Sexual intimacy was, given the nature of the situation, an impossibility. At the very least, it would make sharing meals with the rest of the folks in their habitat block awkward."

Sunday, October 5, 2014

The Job Is Its Own Reward, I'm Sure

Mrs. Bennett has just shocked Mr. DeMartino by reminding him that today is World Teachers' Day. Since today is not World Increase Teachers' Salaries Day, I don't think the news is cheering him up very much.

This also marks the eleventh anniversary of the SFMB, which was created on this day in 2003. Thanks, Mistress Thea!

Fandom News!

Friday, October 3, 2014

Have Some Heart-Shaped Cookies!

It's World Smile Day, so give us your biggest smile! Um, not you, Daria. Please stop. Seriously, it's getting creepy.

Quinn is also celebrating Techies Day by actually acknowledging the existence of computer geeks. But only the "cuter technical types" and not the "really enthusiastic" ones. She still has standards.

Fanfic Update!
  • Action Stories #5: When it Rains, it Pours, by NightGoblyn (part 1): "Jane turned and jerked the door open, causing the person standing on the other side to recoil slightly in shock. It was hard to tell in the early morning gloom, but she was pretty sure the visitor was a girl."

  • All the things she said, by 39medalla (prologue): "The last time I saw her was 7 years ago, it was the last time I had about it was the last time you told her how much he loved her." (Spanish version)

  • ASPS 3, by PrecambrianStudios (part 2): "He turned back to Dmitri, arms crossed over his chest, giving him a look one might give a cockroach. 'We've never met, but I know who you are. You're Dmitri Borya Vagin. Former leader of the Mafia, a position you held for two years. Now the laughingstock of Fielding's gay community.' He stared off into space, as if reconsidering. 'Actually,' he said, 'the community in general.'"

  • A brief moment in the life of Cassie Morgendorffer, by SpookyZalost (part 1): "Cassie was relaxing on her bed enjoying the last days of summer, her birthday was coming up in august and she had finished high school a year early thanks to her aunt's help."

  • Dysmorphosis (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "She stared into the mirror. Her reflection stared back."

  • Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie: Future Excerpt 1, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Danielle couldn't sleep. 'I may as well go and look for that emerald again,' she thought. She got dressed and left the house. 'Hopefully, I will be able to find the emerald soon, and also get help from trustworthy people,' she thought."

  • Lawndale's Finest: Detective Stories #6, by LSauchelli (part 4): "Of course it had been true. A ghost had been teaching her martial arts and the way of life for the better part of a year. A ghost had showed her the way to become Just. It had not seemed so strange after she realized this."

  • A Little Too Real, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "As she waited, Daria though about how the three of them had joined the Agency during the Worldburner Crisis. Frightened to be pulled into a world of multiple realities and threats that could consume them, Daria had agreed to help and in the end, all three had joined. Almost four years later, they were now a seasoned field team."

  • Night Witches, by Panzerfaust 150 (part 6): "Major General Alexandr Leontev, Soviet Army, was a very angry man."

  • Psychiatric Devaluation, by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "He cackled to himself, giddy that soon he'll be fulfilling one of his life's dreams since working there and giving Ms. Li the finger. He placed the key in the ignition and turned expecting the car to stall for a bit before he could peel away. But something was wrong..."

  • Slow Tango in Lawndale, by Snow-Kitty (part 1): "Jane sat staring into the glowing and crackling fireplace, contemplating the somewhat magical evening she had shared with whom she had thought to be the most interesting man she had ever met."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Billionaire Daria), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "Daria stood at the corner of the big dining room. As everyday, the contact lenses had been uncomfortable, so she had taken them out. She did not want to wear glasses, because she disliked looking too intellectual. Hence all the things around her, including human faces, were blurry."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'I think, dear, that this is some sort of abuse of power. Or position.' This from Marie, looking with mild distaste at the scene unfolding before her."

  • Up In Smoke, by Princess_Pasta (parts 2 and 3): "Quinn watched silently as she walked into her office and shut the door. I know that I'm right. I know this stuff. Quinn swallowed down her anger and made her way back to her desk. She'd have her moment. She would make sure of it." (Part 3)

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Who Wants to Tear Open the Rip Panel with Their Teeth?

Mrs. Bennett is helping us celebrate Balloons Around the World Day, although I'm surprised she's not making little balloon animal Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee-Bits. I hope Jake doesn't get any ideas about ballooning around the world, because I'm sure he wouldn't want to have any more branches removed.

Brittany has an additional message in honor of International Day for Older Persons: always wear your sunscreen. Wise advice, Brittany. Thank you for that.

Fandom News!

Monday, September 29, 2014

"Fashion show, Mom. Don't handicap yourself."

Daria's enjoying a rare peaceful moment on International Coffee Day, and I'm sure Jake's going to join her soon. Let's just hope he's got decaf, though. Also, Quinn wants to remind everyone that coffee = caffeine = dark circles. That was today's public service announcement.

Speaking of Jake, today is also World Heart Day, so whatever you do, don't mention what the doctor told him about cheese.

Fanfic Update!
  • Another Saint Daria, by LSauchelli (part 1): "'Where did I go wrong?' She wondered out loud. But she knew."

  • Backstage Preparations (Iron Chef: Oh No, She Didn't!), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "(Scene: the backstage of a beauty pageant. A young woman is preparing to go on stage. She is assisted by three other women) 'All right, Daria, again: considering the current world state of affairs and the threat posed by extremist terrorist political groups with the operating all over the world, what do you think...'"

  • First Words (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "It was spring time in the old DeMartino residence that normally housed two occupants. Tonight, however, was a special night where the elder member of the household was expecting this evening to go well."

  • Forced Impression, by Indigo (part 4): "'You don't think nearly all my clothes going missing at the same time as we moved to a new town just happened, do you?' 'You mean mom arranged it somehow?' 'Yep, this way no one in Lawndale got to see the real me.'"

  • Loopholes (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "Anthony DeMartino was grinning ear to ear, sure the school he teaches at is an irredeemable cesspit of corruption and failure but today he's been given a lifeline."

  • Occupy Lawndale (Iron Chef: Billionaire Daria), by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "It began on my eighteenth birthday. I woke up from a dream that I couldn't remember. That always irritates me."

  • Psychiatric Devaluation, by DarkDranzer (part 4): "On the other side of the door Anthony growled, he could just picture Barch's damn smug face right now. However, Li's comment hit a raw nerve. All she saw was the glory of Laaawndale High, all the more glorious for her because she didn't have to teach the damn idiots that populated it."

  • Redux, by Princess_Pasta (part 14): "A slight figure dressed in a form-fitting pair of black jeans and a heavy jacket stood on the edge of the railroad tracks, cool night air blowing her long hair in several directions. She stood and stared, the tiny suburb of Lawndale seemingly gigantic as it was spread out before her."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Billionaire Daria), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "'Well I can't believe it! The old bat finally gave up the ghost finally.' Jake said in his joking manner. 'JAKE!' Helen said quickly to remind him of where the family was."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Billionaire Daria), by TheTuxedo (COMPLETE!): "Daria paid the clerk and took her pizza to the only empty booth, where she sat down alone. She liked to come here occasionally to pretend she was someone else, someone who wasn't judged on the size of her wallet."

  • Up In Smoke, by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "Quinn tried not to let her restlessness affect her work matter how tiring her job was becoming. As an administrative assistant, she had to do lots of menial tasks that made her want to rip every red hair from her head."

Saturday, September 27, 2014

At Least She'll Be Safe from the Reds!

It's Crush a Can Day, and I'm sure Daria would love to try, given the lack of can openers available. If only Kevin and his can-crushing head were there--I'm sure he'd actually be useful for once!

This is also World Tourism Day, when everyone should leave their comfort zone, get out into the world, and meet new people! I think I just figured out what Daria's doing in the bomb shelter.

Fandom News!

Thursday, September 25, 2014

"Pow! Blam! Kablooey!"

Kevin's definitely enjoying National Comic Book Day, with a little help from Ratboy. Why not grab a comic of your own and kick back for awhile? Hopefully yours contains less tooth swallowing than Kevin's does. Unless you're into that, in which case go nuts.

Fanfic Update!
  • Behind the Counter, by NightGoblyn (part 11): "Daria glanced up as the door beeper started making its noise, and frowned slightly to herself at the customer who was now wandering down the second aisle of the store."

  • Close Encounters of the Mystik Kind (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "He noticed that the person in front of him wasn't a 'dude' at all but a teenage girl. She was brushing off her black v-neck t-shirt, her red painted lips turned down into a frown."

  • Daria's Roundworld, by TheTuxedo (parts 1 and 2): "The sounds of the tome being hefted over and dropped onto a table could be heard, followed by turning pages and a finger tracing a line. 'Ah, here we are.' She lowered her voice, and whispered dramatically, 'The Rite of AshkEnte.'" (Part 2)

  • DW: Legacy of the Doctor, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "A female Tyrannosaurus Rex is walking in the Thames near Westminster. Police Officers are holding back the crowds. Police Officer (Gregson): Madame Vastra, Thank goodness. I'd wager you haven't seen anything like this before. Madame Vastra: Takes off veil. Well, not since I was a little girl."

  • Favours (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "(Timothy O'Neill knocks on the science lab door) Mrs. Barch: (deadpan) 'Door's unlocked and if you're a man I've got a full beaker of hydrochloric acid in arm's reach. Try me.'"

  • The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (part 153): "'All right, all right!' Coach Higgins shouted. He wore a gray hoodie with FIELDING LAX across his chest in blue. 'Listen up. Great job, Yogi! Substitutions for the fourth quarter! Garrity, Parham, Dressler, Hackney! You're up!' He was up. HE WAS UP!"

  • The Hearts Within, by neonhomer (part 12): "The knock on my door woke me up. 'If you're not dead, you're going to wish you were if I have to get out of this bed!' I snapped, hoping to scare the offending person away."

  • The Last Beat of My Heart (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'Wake up, Tommy. It's over.' He heard screaming somewhere, his own name mostly Tommy Sherman followed by words he couldn't quite make out."

  • A Promise Is A Promise (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Bound to Stacy's (soon-to-be-replaced) bed with the arm and leg manacles that no one dared ask the origin of, Kevin watched as the Fashion Club girls finished slathering... something... all across his chest and down to his privates, bulging through his tighty-whities."

  • Psychiatric Devaluation, by DarkDranzer (part 3): "Calming himself down from the surge of adrenaline, he tried to think of a way to get to the window to his escape before those idiots caught up with him. In his unusual state of lucidity, he admitted he went overboard with strangling Kevin, even if the boy had been a consistent thorn in his side for over two years."

  • Star Trek: Daria - Resurrection, by echopapa (part 11): "'Shuttlebay Two,' Daria read aloud. 'I guess this is the place.' She had just started packing her meager belongings when she was interrupted by the page from her intercom asking her to report to the shuttlebay."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: First Aid), by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "Jodie: Alright, guys? We need to keep him alive until the paramedics arrive, which we still need to contact as Ms. Li conveniently banned all cell phones at the school. Andrea: Why?"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Oh, No! O'Neill!), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "'Take the case, Helen,' he'd said. 'You don't have to win it, but take it, run it start to finish. When it's over, I'll make you a full partner - none of this junior partner nonsense, your name will be the fourth one on the list. Just take the case, show me you can.'"

  • Upper Echelon, by Princess_Pasta (part 17): "The beeping of a horn alerted him to the fact that a car was waiting for him at the curb. Sitting behind the wheel was Helen, still looking exactly the same as when he left. It was hard to believe she aged a day, unlike Jake who was already starting to sport gray hairs."