Monday, July 16, 2018

Yesssssss, Eric?


Helen's really gone all out for World Snake Day, and there's a lawyer joke in there that I am definitely not going to stoop to make, no sir. Cough.

Today is also Global Hug Your Kids Day, and while Jake and Helen were known to give their kids the occasional hug on the show, I think Daria and Quinn would rather wait until Helen looks a little less like a boa constrictor.

Fanfic Update!
  • Changing Lanes, by midnightabyss86 (part 9): "'A couple of best friends sharing shots... of gunfire! Vice Presidential Gunplay next on '"Sick, Sad World!"' Jane clicked off the TV, when she heard a knock on the door. 'Yo!' she called, allowing Trent into her room."

  • Disturbia (Quinn, Season 5), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "There is a "For Sale by Bank" sign in the front yard. A Prius pulls into the driveway, which is on the right side. This is followed by Jim's 1987 Camaro IROC-Z." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jodie are best friends), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "It was a boring young Democrats panel. Though there was an unusual element. The place. It was an Appalachian resort in '30 style. No. Not in style, it was an well functioning '30 resort with an original Art Deco building (like in Tim Burton's Batman, but not so grim)."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 136): "Rain was pouring over the windshield of the Gridrunner. Daria couldn't look outside and see the runway if she wanted to."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XV: A New Era In Crossovers), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "'So now our allies, the Tramani, think of Quinn as a hero who saved their planet.' Li said, looking over the report."

Saturday, July 14, 2018

No Nudes is Good Nudes!


I have no idea how Jane talked Daria into observing National Nude Day, but it looks like Daria is already regretting her decision. Just remember the sage advice of Brittany Taylor: only do a nude scene if it's crucial to your character.

Today is also the anniversary of both episodes "The Teachings of Don Jake" and "Lane Miserables," which aired on this day in 1997 and 1999. Both episodes gave us an extra glimpse into Jane and Trent's family, and neither one was very flattering.

Fandom News!

Thursday, July 12, 2018

Metalmouth Should Consider Green For That Touch of Exotica That Many Young Psychopaths Crave


Mr. DeMartino is celebrating Different Colored Eyes Day, although I don't know if "bulging" counts as a color. I suppose "bloodshot" does, though. He might want to have a talk with Quinn about colored contact lenses, which of course will lead into a conversation about changing hairstyles and getting a whole new wardrobe and oops I think the eye just popped out entirely.

Of course, I should point out that the picture is technically of Metalmouth, which is appropriate because today is also the anniversary of the episode "Legends of the Mall," which aired on this day in 2000. Metalmouth made his only appearance there, as did the Rattling Girl of Lawndale and the House of Bad Grades. Lawndale sure is full of urban legends that were never ever mentioned again, huh?

Fanfic Update!
  • Changing Lanes, by midnightabyss86 (part 8): "'YOO HOO! SIS!" 'Agh!' Quinn woke up with a fright. Her head was throbbing. The sunlight pouring through her bedroom window hurt her eyes."

  • Coffee, by Zetor (part 2g): "'I guess so,' Stacy agreed, giving Daria's hand a final squeeze before letting go and standing up. 'I'm going to go take the turkey out. Can you take those to the kitchen?' she asked, gesturing to the now mostly empty plate and mugs on the coffee table."

  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 6): "Daria watched as the last bucket of regolith was poured on top of the High Oxygen Outland Central Habitat or HOOCH for short."

  • Decisions, by elainefr (part 20): "'You two seem better,' Jane spoke to her sister in law while they shared a glass of tea for Jane and water for the extremely pregnant mother to be."

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 1): "Erin held the paycheck in both hands and read her name again. They would have the bank details in their system next week. 'Yes. Finally getting my own life back' she thought."

  • Jenna – Just your regular spellslinging gal, by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "A lot of stories begin with a tragedy. Or a joke. One of the two is the classical move in storytelling and often set's the entire theme for the story which will follow." (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Quinn The Matchmaker (Quinn, Season 5), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Daria is in her room reading a book. Her look is a little different. Her glasses are wire frams but instead of a sweater or a bulky green jacket she's wearing a green t-shirt that, while not super tight, does reveal that she has curves." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Brother Grimace (part 135): "'Oh, my. That's a sight that brings back memories.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'I don't like this red one. It makes you look...tacky.' 'Nathan, I like this dress. You know, red lips, red soul, favourite colour and all that jazz.' Jane smiled as she saw herself."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by OzFerret (COMPLETE!): "Trent listened to the stranger on the phone. Trent replied. 'I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my sister go now, that'll be the end of it.'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Have I mentioned your dad's modifications to the staircase are much appreciated?' Daria asked Jane as the pair stared out the window."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria was unpacking her stuff in her dorm room at Raft when a knock came at the door. 'Come in, it's unlocked,' she called out."

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Hot as Helen


Helen's doing a visual representation of Death Valley on this day in 1913, when the record hottest temperature there was recorded: 134 °F (56.7 °C). The next time you're sweating out the summer heat without air conditioning, remind yourself that it could be worse. By which I mean you could be wearing an embarrassing outfit like Helen's in public.

Fandom News!

Sunday, July 8, 2018

Just Don't Paint a Video Game


Jake's taken Body Painting Day to an extreme, or at least I hope that's just body paint. If those are tattoos then he and Helen are going to have a serious disagreement as soon as she gets home.

Daria, meanwhile, is settling in for some quality time with Cannibal Fragfest for Video Games Day. Unless Ted talks her into joining him in some virtual reality, that is.

Fanfic Update!
  • Changing Lanes, by midnightabyss86 (part 6): "'I'm just saying that if I were your consultant, I'd give your line something a bit more... edgy! Like The Elegante,' said Jake, throwing around his fall-back pitch to his latest client."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (parts 42 and 43): "The Morgendorffers were tired after their drive from Coalton, their adventures at Gettysburg, and dinner at Pizza Forest. Still, a good night's sleep did wonders—at least for some people." (Part 43)

  • My Breast Fiend, by Smijey (parts 7 - 9): "Darius rang the doorbell; within moments, Brittany answered. 'Darius, you're here!' she said happily. 'I'm so glad. Now we're even!' 'This is Jane --' Darius said, trying to introduce his friend." (Part 8) (Part 9)

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Brother Grimace and Roentgen (parts 133 and 134): "Daria smiled at the image of Michael Fulton - now, First Lieutenant Fulton, U.S. Air Force - on the view-screen in the Conference Room; her phone was on a cradle set on the table before her, which connected it to the screen. 'So, you're getting to stay with the assignment you wanted all along?'" (Part 134)

Friday, July 6, 2018

A Rash of Artwork


It's Frida Kahlo's birthday, and Jane has found a special way to mark the occasion. Also...is that Trent's head on the deer in the Wounded Deer painting? I feel like maybe there's something significant there, but I'm not a psychologist.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Ill," which aired on this day in 1998. That strange rash was never adequately explained, and the mystery haunts me to this day.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, July 4, 2018

Happy Fourth!


Jane's feeling patriotic for Independence Day, and to all the Daria fans in the U.S., I hope it's a happy one for you! I'm not sure exactly what the Holiday Island version of Independence Day would be like, but I assume alcohol and pyrotechnics would be involved. If you're in the mood for a holiday celebration then feel free to start with this selection of Fourth-of-July themed fanfics:

Fanfic Update!
  • Aurora, by Lady Evil (part 18): "'What are you gonna do tonight?' Jane asked Trent in their living room. 'Play hockey, I guess.' he said. He was wearing the red and black jersey and pads the station provided for him."

  • Because I Got High, by ladylace616 (COMPLETE!): "The group decided to watch the movie Pineapple Express together one evening."

  • Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Smijey and Charles RB (parts 20 - 23): "'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town,' Janice Walker told her two daughters." (Part 21) (Part 23)

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 19): "'So, uh, these two are Beavis and Butt-head?' Tom looked at the two, scratching his head. Kevin and Tom both examined Beavis and Butt-head."

  • My Breast Fiend, by Smijey (part 6): "'You can't go!' Quinn cried out. 'You'll ruin everything!' Darius gave Jane an I-told-you-this-was-a-bad-idea-now-can-I-just-get-into-a-bathtub-with-a-plugged-in-toaster-oven look, but she paid him no mind."

  • Options, by Brother Grimace (parts 9 - 11): "'Hey! Asshole! Move your fucking crutches!' Luttrell Ingram Thompson (he went by his full name, as he hadn't been close enough to anyone in years to have picked up a nickname, or any other term of friendship or endearment) left his train of thought at the sound of the voice, and moved his forearm crutches from where they had slipped out into the aisle of the bus." (Part 10) (Part 11)

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (parts 131 and 132): "For the second year in a row, the Legionnaires prepared to meet in their new space-age meeting room. Daria joked that it was the 'room from the future'." (Part 132)

Monday, July 2, 2018

Keep Watching the Skies!


Either Daria has a secret she's never told us or she's gotten really into that UFO convention this year. Either way, it's a good way to celebrate World UFO Day, unless you're Artie, in which case a better way would be to panic and go hide under your bed.

If any UFOs do show up, perhaps they'll return Amelia Earhart, who disappeared on this day in 1937.

Fandom News!

Saturday, June 30, 2018

Why, Helen, You Grow Lovelier By the Day!


Helen and Jake look surprisingly cute together, which is weird because Rhett and Scarlett from Gone with the Wind had a very unhealthy relationship. Still, the book was published on this day in 1936, and considering how often the book and/or movie were referenced on Daria it would be wrong not to mention it today.

This is also the anniversary of the episode "The Big House," which aired on this day in 1997. I still want to know the story behind the "No pimple pads in the toilet" rule.

Fanfic Update!
  • Changing Lanes, by midnightabyss86 (parts 3 - 5): "'Oh, so that's what you meant,' said Stacy, who was looking through Quinn's closest for an outfit to borrow for tonight's party." (Part 4) (Part 5)

  • First contact, by OzFerret (COMPLETE!): "His heart pounded in his chest, drowning out all other noises. He shook his head. 'How was he supposed to listen for intruders with all this noise?' he wondered."

  • My Breast Fiend, by Smijey (parts 4 and 5): "Darius opened the front door reluctantly, as he always did on school days, and was surprised to see Jane standing there in her running clothes. 'Hey, Darius!' she greeted, in a tone far too cheerful for before noon. 'Today, I'm going to help you start training your speed!'" (Part 5)

  • Options, by Brother Grimace (parts 7 and 8): "'Get up, small person.' Julia Carlyle opened her eyes, and saw - for the last time - the sun shine into her dorm room on the tenth floor of Schmidt Hall... her home, more or less, for the last five years." (Part 8)

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 130): "The Ad-Hoc Committee on Admissions to the Legion Academy met. They had received hundreds of applications from metahumans all over the world. From this list, they would have to whittle the final number down to just twenty-five."

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Pierced Brains, Anyone?


Daria's showing off her tribute to International Body Piercing Day, and Jane looks distinctly unimpressed about it. No need to worry, though: I'm sure E.T. and his magic healing powers will take care of that soon.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Psycho Therapy," which aired on this day in 2000. No one got pierced, but a lot of egos got punctured in that one. That group role-playing session...damn.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Thank Goodness for Quinn's High Pain Tolerance for Hair-Care Treatments!


Let's wish a happy Beautician's Day to Jozu and all the other long-suffering workers who have to endure Quinn's endless prattling as they do their best to make her look perfect--or at least cuter than Sandi. If you visit the beautician today, remember to tell them which show you want your style from. Or you could just offer to buy some scissors from them.

Today is also National Chocolate Pudding Day, and I join Brittany and Daria in hoping that your pudding doesn't have any skin on the top. Ewwww.

Finally, happy anniversary to Jake and Helen, who made their "Vows of Commitment" on this day in 1975. I hope Jake got Helen something better than a misshapen hobbit candle this time.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Smijey (part 19): "Daria and Jane hadn't expected to be watching the new Pope's address live, but then again, back in high school they had campaigned the yearbook staff to have her be titled Most Likely To Be The Literal Anti-Christ."

  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 5): "Daria stood looking out over the rim of the crater recording video. The display in her helmet showed the view through the camera attached to her chest plate."

  • Jersey Sure (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Jim's Camaro driving along the street. Cut to inside and we see Jim driving while Quinn's in the passenger seat. They're on their way home from a night out. Quinn: Thanks for taking me to Cest La Ve, Jim." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Proof through the Esteem, by WalterKovacs (COMPLETE!): "'Girls, I just want you to know that your mother and I both realize it's not easy moving to a new town,' started Jake Morgendorffer from behind the wheel of his car."

  • Unnamed story (All-Purpose Creative Writing Thread: Seven), by Aloysius (part 1): "David looked at the growing white mass ahead of them and froze in shock. His son, Nigel, saw his father's expression fall momentarily, then it solidified again as he looked at his family and the other refugees gathered around him."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jodie are best friends), by Roentgen (part 2): "The car pulled up to the dual garage of the Morgendorffer residence. It was a Jaguar XJ30. Daria could see through the window that Andrew Landon and Jodie Landon were ready to pick her up."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by peapotmaster (COMPLETE!): "DARIA: Dad, what is the name of this camp again? JAKE: Your mom said it is called Camp Campbell."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "'More coffee! Please!' Charles shouted. 'Daria?' Jane asked, noticing Daria had yet to touch her drink. 'I've never had coffee.' Daria answered, 'Amy said a young lady shouldn't drink stimulants.'"

Sunday, June 24, 2018

She Doesn't Have Time for Happy Thoughts


Jodie's apparently joined the Mythical Creature Club in time for International Fairy Day, but I don't think even a magic wand will be enough to get her parents off her back. Still, the wings will be nice for when she's running late for a school activity, so it's not a total loss.

Speaking of activities, today is also Swim a Lap Day, so join Sandi for a dip in the pool and see if you can shed some of that awful above-one-hundred-pounds weight. I'm sure Quinn will be there to hurl abuse--I mean, offer supportive encouragement.

Fandom News!

Friday, June 22, 2018

Girls Just Wanna Be Retro


The Fashion Club is taking some fashion tips from a few decades ago in honor of Cyndi Lauper's 65th birthday! Of course, if they actually hear "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" then I'd suggest that they run, because it means Metalmouth is sure to be nearby.

Today is also Carson Daly's birthday, and he's best known within Daria canon as the voice of David Sorenson from Is It Fall Yet? David was notable in being among the very few guys to resist Quinn's charms, as well as to actually earn Daria's respect.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Smijey (part 18): "At the Hoover Dam, Janice took her first opportunity to split off from the tour group, dragging Beavis behind her, and marched into the nearest bathroom. 'Heh-heh, hey!' he protested as she locked the door."

  • Fading Memories (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn Morgendorffer is running scared in a large cave with lakes of molten lava all around her. The screams of unbearable pain can be heard all around her. Her path is suddenly blocked by a red skinned monster with a pointed tail, bat wings and huge horns." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 18): "'Wow, this place looks... Orwellian,' Tom's eyes widened. He had just pulled up in front of Highland High and to the surprise of all three Lawndale residents, Highland had been transformed from a seemingly impoverished small town school to a more modern institution."

  • Jodie the rebel (Jodie Landon - Rebel), by Wassersauefer (part 1): "It wasn't like she had planned it all along. Unlike what she usually did, this time Jodie simply acted. Normaly she would take long hours of thinking every decision through, making lists with pros and cons and finally settling on a course of action, always going for the best outcome possible and the most effective way of reaching it."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 17): "'This could get to be a habit, szereto.' Elizaveta smiled as she caressed the cheek of the girl lying in bed next to her. 'Then it's a habit I don't ever want to give up.' Angie smiled back as she gave her girlfriend a kiss."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jodie are best friends), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'God, I hope that's not the booster society again,' Quinn said, disgusted. Wow, you show up the first day and they're all over you."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 129): "It was going to be an early breakfast for Charles Ruttheimer. He was on an early flight to Massachusetts, to complete his final act as Deputy Leader for the Legion."

Wednesday, June 20, 2018

"It's a tooth."


Daria and Jane have made a questionable decision to celebrate the anniversary of Jaws's 1975 premiere by paying Joanna a visit. I would think it would be more fun to actually watch the movie than to watch some poor delusional woman act it out for them, but to each their own.

Fandom News!

Monday, June 18, 2018

Maybe Just Stick to Pizza Instead?


Jake must have decided that it's safer to be sushi than to eat sushi, which is true of Tokyo Toby's, anyway. If you decide to eat sushi today, be sure to avoid any restaurant with questionable health ratings!

Speaking of Jake's disastrous experience with Tokyo Toby's, today is the anniversary of the episode "My Night at Daria's," in which poor Jake not only got food poisoning but had a very uncomfortable couple of days after Daria and Tom got caught sleeping together. Literally.

Fanfic Update!
  • An Annoying Paradise, by Resop (part 9): "Daria reaches into her locker to get a book. 'Dar-Dar!' 'What is it, Manako?' 'Which song would you like to do?'"

  • My Breast Fiend, by Smijey (part 3): "Mack led Darius into the weight room, a room just off the gymnasium that Darius had never been inside before. 'I'm sorry about laughing, Darius. It's just, well...you, you know?'"

  • Nurse Quinn (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jim lays unconscious in a hospital bed while a visibly sleep deprived Quinn, wearing the same outfit she wore that night at Chez Pierre, watches over him. Helen enters the room." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 128): "On a Saturday in Lawndale, the commencement exercises for the Lawndale High School Class of '18 were being held in the same location as every other graduation ceremony - the football field."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'You're in a desert, walking along in the sand, when all of a sudden you look down...' 'Which one?' Daria interrupted. Manson sucked breath in through her teeth. 'It doesn't make any difference what desert, Dora, it's completely hypothetical.'"

Saturday, June 16, 2018

So Cute You Could Scream


Looks like Jeffy's going to win that free T-shirt for National Hollerin' Contest Day, unless he passes out from the effort. Still, I'd put money on Jake. That dude's been preparing for this moment all his life, so all he has to do is summon up his least favorite memory of Mad Dog and this contest is over.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Too Cute," which aired on this day in 1997. I don't remember any hollering in that episode, but I'm sure Upchuck felt like screaming when he found out what that blob Daria and Jane were looking at was.

Fandom News!

Thursday, June 14, 2018

QB Chameleon


I'm not sure Kevin even knows who Boy George is, but he sure seems happy as his alter ego on the singer's 57th birthday. Don't get me wrong: I doubt Kevin has anything in particular against new wave, but his musical tastes run more along the lines of "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall."

Fanfic Update!
  • bones cast in a little low, by ashleykay (part 4): "The rain stopped suddenly late on a Wednesday afternoon. As if the sky had choked and stuttered. And the weeks of wet flooded earth was a mirage."

  • Burned Out, by Wrabbit7 (part 11): "Daria flipped on the TV, and was treated to a whole twelve seconds of Alanis Morissette's Ironic video before the signal was lost, to be replaced with static."

  • Coffee, by Zetor (part 2f): "Taking Stacy's lighthearted response as a cue, Daria kept up the shift in mood and dryly joked, 'So, do we have time for another movie, or did revealing our deepest secrets take up too much time?'"

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 41): "The Morgendorffers pulled away from the curb, turned left, then right, then turned left again and onto the main highway leading out of town. There was a sort of finality to this visit, and Daria wondered if she'd ever see Coalton again."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (parts 126 and 127): "Brittany Taylor dropped by the office of Magnolia 'Mags' Regmond, formerly of USAES, the Air Force, and the Pentagon (MAJ, Ret.) Mags was now the public relations officer for the National Legion Chapter One." (Part 127)

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "Helen Morgendorffer disliked to go to an office, so she has chosen the work at home. It could be described as living in an office through, because her home was the Lawndale Social Re-adaptation Centre."

Tuesday, June 12, 2018

Roses Are Red....


Kevin and his fantasy girlfriend (does he really have any other kind, Brittany included?) are happily celebrating Red Rose Day. Meanwhile, Tom should probably fish the roses he got for Daria out of the garbage just in case this is one of the days that she likes sentimental yet meaningless holidays.

Fandom News!

Sunday, June 10, 2018

Have a Spicy Holiday!


Jake is busy in the kitchen on Herbs and Spices Day, but on behalf of his tongue I would like to request that he take it easy on the pepper this time. His last surviving taste buds will thank me.

Fanfic Update!
  • Aurora (formerly Reflections), by Lady Evil (part 17): "Jane and Vixx were in Jane's room getting dressed for Halloween while 'Zombie' by The Cranberries played on the radio. 'Ah, the perfect Halloween song.' said Jane, pinning her hair up. 'A song all about the gang wars in Ireland.'"

  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 4): "'So how is life on Mars?' Jane asked."

  • Identity Crisis (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jeffy is at a table with his lawyer, a sleazy looking guy with slicked back hair. The judge, a balding fat man with a mustache, is presiding while Dr. Millepedis is in the witness stand. It is a mental competency hearing to determine whether Jeffy, after two years confinement in a psychiatric hospital, can now be safely re-intigrated into society." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Redemption, by atimnie (part 32): "'Alright, Doyle, we want names,' Hank Daniels shouted at Doyle, still in Amos Cunningham's uniform, one arm cuffed to the bolted down chair he was sitting in. 'You can have mine, I was getting tired of it anyway.'"

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 16): "'Thanks for the lift, Mack. 'Night, Jodie.' Elizaveta smiled as she got out of Mack's car. Then, leaning over, she gave Angie a kiss on the lips, 'See you tomorrow, szereto.'"

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (parts 124 and 125): "Daria and Tom sat in the expensive office of the chief executive officer of an important international firm. This wasn't the first such visit that either of them had made to a CEO. Although it was rare that specific Legionnaires had been asked to come for a visit." (Part 125)

Friday, June 8, 2018

It Goes Well With Nutty Butter and Banana Sandwiches


I've got the poison for Name Your Poison Day, and I think I'll name it...Bob. This particular poison is about to be renamed Kevin Thompson's lunch, at least in Daria's "Murder, She Snored" dream sequence, which is among the strangest sentences I've ever written.

In a different (I hope) theme, today is also Best Friends Day! I'm sure there were moments in their friendship (cough-thekiss-cough) that Jane wanted to poison Daria, but fortunately for us all she decided against it.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, June 6, 2018

Run, Jane, Run!


Jane's way ahead (literally) of National Running Day, but I think just about every day is National Running Day for Jane Lane. Except when it's National Eat Pizza and Bitch about School Day.

I doubt Jane will be interested to know that today is the anniversary of the first drive-in movie theater, which opened eighty-five years ago today, after her bad experience with Nathan. Of course, I'm pretty sure back then the kids watched actual movies at the drive-in instead of swing dancing.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria in Cyber Commandos of 2007, by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "In the year 2007 among the nuked out wastes of the post atomic horror Neo America stands alone as a bastion of freedom while a new breed of warrior stalks the Earth. Part man part machine, they are the cyber commandos. The last and only line of defense against the cyber commies of the Neo-Soviet Empire."

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 17): "'Hey Quinn, you got a minute?' Daria asked as she knocked on the door. A few days had already passed. So far, nobody had discovered Kenneth's body whereas Brittany's body seemed to have vanished without a trace."

  • Jocks VS Nerds (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Dude, nah-AH! Locutus of Borg could totally beat Darth Maul!' argued Kevin, shaking his head at the foolishness of all around him."

  • Moms And Drunks (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Chuck and a no longer pregnant Stacy in the hospital room. Stacy is resting in the bed while Chuck waits by her side. A nurse comes in with a new born infant. She hands the baby to Stacy." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • One Fine Saturday Afternoon on Dega Street, by Captain Marbles (COMPLETE!): "The girl walked down Dega Street searching the signs for the place she wanted, '"Funky Doodle", nah. "Dega Street Comix"? Maybe later...oh! Here we go, "Hair For Freaks"!'"

  • Options, by Brother Grimace (parts 1 - 6): "'You know, they built this here just to annoy us.' Greg Adams ignored the looks of a couple of Cadets Fourth Year as he and Esra Chakirji walked up the long pathway to the front entrance of the Jorgensen Research Building - the large building that was home for the USAES Mental Enhancement Program." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

  • What are they doing without Quinn around? (Scenes from Lawndale High), by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "'Hey Quinn, can I carry your books?' 'Hey Quinn, can I carry your drink?' 'Hey Quinn, can I carry your, umm... pen?'"

Monday, June 4, 2018

Will the Three Js Offer to Carry Her Dentures?


Quinn's sporting a new look for Old Maid's Day, or maybe this is just Sandi's most cherished dream come to life. You know, I assumed it was Quinn but for all we know this is exactly what Mother Barksdale would look like if she ever appeared on the show.

Speaking of Barksdales, today is also the anniversary of the episode "Aunt Nauseam," which aired on this day in 2001. Of course Helen's mother didn't actually show up in person, but you can't deny she played a major role in the (chaotic) events.

Fandom News!

Saturday, June 2, 2018

God Save the Ice Cream!


Brittany's looking especially regal in honor of the anniversary of Queen Elizabeth II's coronation on this day in 1953. I'm not sure what kind of queen Brittany would be, but I think her very first act would be to demand that any stupid, insensitive, selfish, conceited, cheating quarterback jerks be immediately beheaded.

Today is also National Rocky Road Day, and if you want to celebrate then I suggest you find Mack the Ice Cream Man and put in an order. He shouldn't be difficult to track down; he's wearing one of those little hats and ringing that bell that goes ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling. A-ling.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Charles RB (part 17): "Every since Kristen had reported her suspicions, she'd been getting a lot more work in the really complicated doomsday realities - why were there so many damned Crossed? - and Janice-101.303 seemed to still be around."

  • Daria and Quinn's Incellent Adventure (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Jeffy kicked back on his couch, glad to be spending time with some of his fellow Lawndale alumni. 'So guys, how's the new sex redistribution and forced marriage laws working out for you?'"

  • Daria Milieu Something Slimy, by Meester_Lee (parts 4 and 5): "Coach Gibson having squashed Travis Two's fun, the two groups of students went back waiting in line and talking with each other in lowered voices, the Lawndale students talking with other Lawndale students, the Highland students talking with their fellow Highlanders, and occasionally exchanging glares at the kids in the other line." (Part 5)

  • Fear and Trembling, by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "Tim O'Neill sat under his tree, watching a crowd approximately three times the size of the town finally disperse from the school's entrance. There was a throbbing bruise someplace on his body from where his method of navigating life got thoroughly sucker punched."

  • First contact, by OzFerret (part 1): "His heart pounded in his chest, drowning out all other noises. He shook his head. 'How was he supposed to listen for intruders with all this noise?' he wondered."

  • My Breast Fiend, by Smijey (parts 1 and 2): "Jane and her new buddy Darius were sitting together in the lunch room, enjoying what the school charitably referred to as food. 'So, Darius, why don't you see me as girlfriend material?'" (Part 2)

  • Redemption, by atimnie (part 31): "Helen and Jake walked up the path to the door of the funeral home, when Helen stopped suddenly. 'Jake, I don't know if I can do this.'"

  • Reflections, by Lady Evil (part 16): "Jane was used to Jesse being quiet, but now, it disturbed her as he drove her back to his house. 'Did he leave a note?' she asked. 'Yeah.' 'Did it say where he went?' 'No.'"

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 15): "'Ummm...baby...' Angie stammered slightly as she and Elizaveta walked together in the park holding hands. 'What, szereto?' Elizaveta asked, 'Is something wrong?' 'I don't know.' Angie sighed, 'Maybe.'"

Thursday, May 31, 2018

Where There's Smoke....


Mr. DeMartino needs to put that cigarette out right now! Not just because he'll be in a ton of trouble if Ms. Li catches him, but also because it's World No Tobacco Day and he should really quit for both health and economic reasons. I mean, the man has a heart condition and can't even afford a second pair of pants, for crying out loud.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Unless This Really Is Some Kind of Organic Nutrient Steam Bath


Either the girls are getting liberated again or Willow's not doing a great job of teaching Helen on Learn About Composting Day. Regardless, I'd keep your distance from both of them for awhile, both because they look pissed and because...well...I can only imagine the smell.

Fanfic Update!
  • Busted (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see a Chevy Impala SS driving north on the highway. Cut to inside the car and we see that Quinn is driving while Jim is in the front seat. Daria and Lindy are sitting in back. Jim is holding a camcorder." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Coffee, by Zetor (part 2e): "'What?' Daria asked, surprised at the shift in tone. It had to have something to do with the times Stacy had acted oddly that night and how Quinn had said she’d disappeared."

  • Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Charles RB (part 16): "There were two things at Camp Grizzly that stuck it in Amelia's head: meeting Daria and suffering Janice. That girl had been 'boss' of the camp by dint of being helpful, charming, and hardworking to the camp staff's faces, and then using her position to make other kids do work for her and bribe her with favours."

  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 3): "Daria thought to herself that it was a good thing she was not particularly claustrophobic. Laying here on the seat in the MLV with a dozen of her closest friends was kind of like being packed in a can of sardines."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 123): "'I think you should try out for this.' Hector Turco looked at the paper that Greg Adams handed him."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Trent stepped into the Lane house. It felt very empty. Jane would not be coming back, not now, or not ever again."

Sunday, May 27, 2018

"Always wear your sunscreen!"


Stacy's showing off some dramatic tan lines this year in time for Sun Screen Day, and after her experience at the nursing home Brittany is unlikely to ever forget hers. If you run out, like Quinn did, just head over to Payday and pick up a few gallons. Andrea can point you to the right aisle if you need help.

You'll definitely want to lather up if you decide to watch the Indianapolis 500, which is happening today. Stacy might even pull herself away from that too-friendly dog and join in the race, if her post-IICY? credit alter ego is anything to go by.

Fandom News!
  • Pay respects to the recently deceased astronaut Alan Bean.

  • Talk about the new movie Solo.

Friday, May 25, 2018

You Could At Least Pluck It First!


Mr. DeMartino is trying to get into the spirit of Geek Pride Day, but someone should explain to him that the holiday is about a different kind of geek. Then again, perhaps he's just trying to stretch his meager food budget in any way he can.

Speaking of geeks, today is also National Towel Day for the The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy geeks and The Glorious Twenty-Fifth of May for the Discworld geeks. I know we've got more than a few of each in our fandom!

Fanfic Update!
  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 16): "'Kevin, I'm sorry about what happened,' Daria told him. She knelt down before Kevin and put a hand on his shoulder. 'I know what it's like to lose someone you cared about deeply,' Daria said softly."

  • Fear and Trembling, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 2): "It was a brand new day to suffer through the same old shit, and Tim O'Neill was definitely suffering. It wasn't because of his little experience with Tara--that discovery that someone else in his world could barely tie their shoes without overstimulating their lizard brain--nor was it one of his own bouts of anxiety."

  • Rise of Weirdness, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Hanna awoke and saw that her car was approaching the Moon. It was also upside down. That is the car was, relative to the crater which was her destination."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 14): "Quinn looked at Elizaveta reclining on the couch in the living room and reading a book with puzzled amusement. 'What are you doing?' 'Reading a book and listening to music.' Elizaveta answered with a chuckle."

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Turtle Power!


Having exhausted her rage against human males, Ms. Barch has apparently decided to try out misandry against a different species just in time for World Turtle Day. I suppose one point turtles have in their favor is that if they walk out on their wives, it takes an awful lot longer to leave.

Fandom News!

Monday, May 21, 2018

"Ever thought of becoming a waitress?"


Andrea promises she definitely, absolutely, cross-her-heart-and-hope-to-die did not spit in your food on this National Waiters and Waitresses Day. Just to be safe, though, I'd promise to leave her a big tip after she brings you your five boxes of Frosted Flakes.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "One J at a Time," which aired on this day in 2001. Quinn dabbled in monogamy, which somehow turned into a squirrel hunt and ended with go-kart racing. Is it an example of how creative and eclectic the show could be or just a cheap gag to end the episode? Oh, look. Rolls.

Fanfic Update!
  • Coffee, by Zetor (part 2d): "Daria chuckled and sat down on her couch, sinking in comfortably. Leaning forward, she grabbed the remote off the coffee table and brought the TV to life."

  • Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Smijey (part 15): "Janice Walker took a moment to massage her aching autograph hand and shift around the uncomfortable gold chains she wore around her neck. These con gigs were just the worst."

  • Death Of A Dream (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn and Stacy are sitting in a booth having lunch and catching up. By now Stacy is visibly pregnant. Stacy: Thanks for having lunch with me, Quinn. Quinn: No problem, Stacy. How are things?" (Part 3)

  • Fear and Trembling, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 1): "Timothy O'Neill had once told Daria Morgendorffer that she was, in essence, a gender-swapped version of him from back when he was in his late teens."

  • How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 11): "It had been two weeks since Jodie's party and Daria still refused to speak with Kevin. Every time he tried to call her it would go to voice mail. Every time he came to her or Jane's house she was never there."

  • Unnamed story (Ill-Conceived Crossovers), by atimnie (COMPLETE!): "Jane ran quickly down the street, occasionally glancing at the sky, and at an odd alien-looking ring on her right hand. When she saw Daria, she grabbed her by the hand, still running, dragging Daria with her."

Saturday, May 19, 2018

It Was a Dark and Stormy...Day


No need to be alarmed--today's just the anniversary of New England's infamous "Dark Day" on this day in 1780. Let me amend that: if the lights have gone out while you're at a Lane Family Reunion, then I suppose you might have some reason to be alarmed. Hey, that was not a pillow!

Fandom News!

Thursday, May 17, 2018

Giddyup!


Helen and Jake are celebrating the anniversary of the first Kentucky Derby on this day in 1875, while the rest of us avert our eyes and try to scrub the image from our brains. You know, I really don't think this is what the Middleton bursar meant when he asked Jake if he plays the ponies.

Today is also Pack Rat Day, so today's the day to clean out the garage while the girls are at a camp reunion or throw out all the moldy food in the fridge. Figured out what that red stuff is yet?

Fanfic Update!
  • And I Feel Fine (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "The man staggered towards Fremont, wondering why he'd done it. His wife and son had been the thing that made his life bearable, ever since that girl and her car had destroyed his guitar and his chances on the road."

  • Coffee, by Zetor (part 2c): "Stacy looked over the items on the counter and hummed thoughtfully. 'Well, I did most of the cooking this morning. All that's really left is the turkey and the gravy, and we can't make the gravy until the turkey's done.'"

  • Death Of A Dream, by WildDogJJ (part 1): "We zoom in to see a camcorder mounted on a tripod next to Quinn's car. Quinn and Jim are looking at the camera. Jim: Hello, I'm Jim the Car Guy. Today, I'm going to show my girlfriend how to fix a flat tire. Say hi to the viewers, Quinn. Quinn smiles sweetly."

  • How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 10): "'So I guess the question now is should we still go to Jodie’s party?' Kevin asked. He and Daria were still sitting at the pizza place not yet feeling up to dealing with their lives outside right now."

  • Meetings, by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Sandi continued to ask herself if she'd gone crazy as she microwaved a bag of popcorn. She refused to face her present company again until she'd had time to properly reorient herself but she was having no such luck."

  • Rise of Weirdness, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (parts 1 and 2): "There had always been weirdness, which science couldn't explain. It was thought that it had disappeared in the early 20th Century, but it wasn't so. Shortly before the Second Great War, a discovery was made in Mesopotamia. A stash of cuneiform tablets. A Sumerian library. Little did the archaeologists know what that library contained."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 13): "'That slimy...rotten...sleazy...' Angie fumed as she picked Elizaveta up at the Morgendorffer house for another day of school. 'What happened, szereto?' Elizaveta asked, her voice etched with concern."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 122): "Jodie Landon buttoned her blouse and checked herself in the full length mirror in Brittany Taylor's room. Finding her old lip gloss, she applied it and checked her appearance from several angles."

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Li, the Great and Terrible


Pay no attention to the principal behind the curtain as we all wish Wizard of Oz author L. Frank Baum a happy birthday. Someone involved with the show must have been a fan, because in addition to the Daria's Inferno scene there, we also get Mr. O'Neill quoting the Cowardly Lion in "Fire!," Daria referencing Judy Garland's role in the movie at the start of "Legends of the Mall," and Mr. DeMartino's "and you were there" bit near the end of "Lucky Strike." I'm a little surprised that Daria and Jane didn't get blown away to Oz by the hurricane in "Daria!"

I suppose they couldn't bear to be separated from their loved ones, since today is also International Day of Families. While there are many families in Daria, I'm not sure any of them are ones that the U.N. would care to hold up as good examples.

Fandom News!

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Does This Pot of Gold Make Me Look Faaaat?


St. Patrick's Day may have been a couple of months ago, but Tiffany's finally catching up. Or perhaps she just knows that today is Leprechaun Day! Either way, I don't think I've ever seen that girl so expressive...or so unfashionably dressed.

I hope Tiffany also remembered to hire the agency's prettiest model today, because it's also Mother's Day. I'm sure Daria will give her mother a lovely gift just as soon as Helen gets home from her 18-hour day at work.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Charles RB (parts 13 and 14): "In the metaphorical piles-of-socks-never-washed that was the Pan-Dimensional Wikitome, Kristen Leung-141099 (a timeline where Sega's Dreamcast sold really well) was smiling and nodding while Janice-101.303 continued to butt in and talk to Cindy-191985 (a timeline where events in 1997 were in 1985 somehow)." (Part 14)

  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 2): "It was the fifth week into the flight. They had been in zero gravity with the engines off for quite a few days, at least it seemed that way. They were still a couple of weeks from needing to restart the ion engines to slow down so they did not miss Mars completely."

  • Enough (IC: Random Pairing Challenge 2018), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, Max, Charlie's here,' Chris says, digging his elbow into my arm and pulling me from the fantasy world of Krynn, back to the unfortunate reality of Lawndale High."

  • The Fall Of The House Of Barksdale (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jake is busy at work, by which I mean he's playing with a Rubik Cube. He is unable to solve it. Jake: Dammit, why don't these things come with instructions?" (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • That Summer, by Princess_Pasta (part 6): "Another day at camp and another step closer to a complete revolt. The kids are growing tired of Uncle Timothy's special brand of cluelessness and Uncle Anthony is threatening an overthrow."

Friday, May 11, 2018

Art and Food...Two of Jane's Favorite Things!


Jane should really cheer up, because today is artist Salvador Dali's birthday! Never mind the art reproductions, Jane, just rest your tired painting arm and have a slice of surreal cake, okay?

In fact, have whatever you want to celebrate because today is also Eat What You Want Day and I'm not the boss of you. Bon appetit!

Fandom News!

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Lost Boys and Lost Socks


Today is the anniversary of Peter Pan playwright James Barrie's birth on this day in 1860, and Mr. O'Neill is just a little too happy about it. I have to admit, though, that this job seems a much better fit for Mr. O'Neill than teacher. For one thing, he never has to grow up. For another, he spends a lot of time suspended from the ceiling where it's harder to invade people's personal space.

This is also Lost Sock Memorial Day, so if you've lost any socks to the make-out/laundry room then feel free to mourn them. Also, check with Daria and Jane in case they've seen them.

Fanfic Update!
  • An Annoying Paradise, by Resop (part 8): "'You seem happy today.' The bus to the subway station hits a bump causing Daria and Jane to bounce slightly."

  • The Coming Of The Cynic (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Jake and Helen seated with Emma, Rita and a five year old Erin. Emma's hair is just starting to go gray at this point so we see that her original hair color is the same shade of red as Quinn's. Rita looks the same as in 'Aunt Nauseum', only twenty years younger. Erin is in a pink dress with pig tails." (Part 3)

  • Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Charles RB (parts 8 - 12): "When Daria had been sent to the self-esteem class, she'd expected nothing but metaphorical farts. Instead she'd found Jane (in the class for six goes out of boredom) and Janice, who'd not only been borderline acceptable to hang out with but had opened her eyes to the glorious things about self-esteem class: using it to make her family suffer and using it to make O'Neill suffer." (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12)

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 40): "The Morgendorffers arrived in Lawndale after sunset. They'd left US highway 15 at Emmitsburg and drove southeast on Maryland highway 140, Jake vocally and Helen silently hoping that they were still on the road to Lawndale and hadn't managed to overshoot their destination and would arrive at some dead end by Chesapeake Bay."

  • Greater Love, by arandomshipper (part 6): "Jane seemed to mirror the dead feeling that defined Quinn ever since waking from her coma when she first opened the door, but when she saw who it was, there was an instant transformation."

  • It Happened Another Nut (Iron Chef: The Lawndale High School Prom), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Jodie tore open the envelope. 'Lawndale High, give it up for your Prom King and Queen, Kevin Thompson and... Daria Morgendorffer?'"

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 12): "As the rhythmic sounds of Dave Brubeck and his band playing 'Take Five' resounded through the Morgendorffer living room, Elizaveta, lying down on the couch with her head on her girlfriend Angie's lap, sighed contentedly as the two girls enjoyed the night alone at the Morgendorffer house."

  • That Summer, by Princess_Pasta (parts 3 - 5): "The last place Stacy wants to be is cooped up in the car with her parents. She stares out the window as her Dad's Honda breezes down the highway, thinking about why Garrett has suddenly decided to visit." (Part 4) (Part 5)

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 121): "'I really can't stand this,' Karen said. 'I think you look wonderful,' Fran said. Karen wore a lightweight blue prom dress that laced up in the back with a princess-seamed bodice and shoulder straps. 'I look ridiculous,' she said."