Sunday, December 9, 2018

Know Any Corrupt Clowns?


Ms. Li is absolutely horrified to learn that today is International Anti-Corruption Day, because she has no idea how to run Lawndale High School in anything like an honest way. Maybe she can take a class on the subject and pay the tuition by embezzling some extra school funds.

Today is also the anniversary of the late Emmett Kelly's birth in 1898, which would make good inspiration for the Art in the Park crying clown artist. Good news, though, for Mystik Spiral: although Kelly is dead and unable to clown, they can still be freaking friends.

Fandom News!

Friday, December 7, 2018

Brittany Ditzyhands


Brittany looks a bit distressed about celebrating the anniversary of the movie Edward Scissorhands, which premiered on this day in 1990. Then again, she might just be worried about how she's going to hold her pom poms. Hard to say with that one.

Fanfic Update!
  • Double (or Triple) Trouble (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane walked home from school. It was time for Jane to spring her surprise on Daria. 'So, Daria...I want to let you know that I have tickets to the new Front Bottoms concert. Wanna come along?'"

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 24): "'We're almost there,' Daria pointed out. 'Should be about six more hours before we reach Lawndale. I recognize this part of Ohio.'"

  • Late Postal Delivery (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2018!), by Brother Grimace (part 4): "Things became even more chilly a day before Halloween… when Sandi came by, the morning before the big costume ball. She had called the day before, to make certain the family (and the security detail) knew that she was on her way."

  • Pimpin' Ain't Easy (But It Sure Does Suck) (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "Jim and Quinn are seated at the kitchen table while a beautiful young brunette sits across from them. She's hoping to be hired as their new assistant." (Part 2)

  • The Promposal (Are there any Brittany and Daria shipper fanfics?), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "As soon as she and Jane sat down at the lunch table, Daria took a suck off the paper straw stuck in her carton of chocolate milk. She very nearly spat it in Jane's face as Brittany and the entire Lawndale Lion football cheer squad popped up in front of their table."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 31): "'Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday to you...Happy Birthday Elizaveta...' 'Blow out the candles, kiddo!' Jake grinned as Helen brought in a chocolate layer cake with seventeen candles."

  • Superiors, by ST91 (part 21): "Anthony braked abruptly when he found himself facing a SUV's carcass. What the hell!? He thought."

  • Thank U, by Lady Evil (part 26): "'Hands inside the window, Danny.' said Jesse as they drove to the airport. 'But look!' said Danny, letting his hand drift on the speeding air current. 'My hand can fly!' 'It'll go flying if a truck hits it!' Jane reminded him."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria: 'Well, they're going to nuke the porn from Tumblr.' Jane: 'RIP Tumblr.'"

  • Winter Is Coming, by Meester_Lee (parts 3 - 6): "They didn't move into a house immediately. Neither Breeze nor Ben had scouted out the town beforehand to search for housing. They had planned to stay in a cheap hotel in town while they looked." (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)

Wednesday, December 5, 2018

Warning: Do Not Accept Any Drinks From Upchuck


Upchuck is well-prepared for Repeal Day, which celebrates the end of Prohibition in the United States. Of course, that was 85 years ago, so maybe Upchuck is going just a little overboard. Besides, Quinn "Keg Queen" Morgendorffer might not like him muscling in on her territory.

Fandom News!

Monday, December 3, 2018

A Brain Under a Hot Tin Roof


Daria is celebrating National Roof over Your Head Day by making sure the library roof stays up over her head where it belongs. I'm sure everything's fine, though. It's not like Ms. Li would skimp on roof maintenance, and it's not like Lawndale employs contractors like Doug Thompson, right?

Hmmm. Daria? Run. Run now.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Blum-Decker Option, by Roentgen (part 4): "Kevin entered Tiffany's room - the room that he couldn't see from the bathroom, the one with the door opened. He had to admit he was stirred by the fact that he was in the room and she was hot, hotter than his now ex-girlfriend."

  • Consider The Corps (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2018!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Apparently, they have a great PR department." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 14): "Erin woke tired. The bed was narrow; the room was dark and small and neither room nor bed was hers. She experienced a few moments of disorientation before yesterday's memory returned."

  • Freefall (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Blood pooled on the damp grass, dark and slick. It was like the whole world had gone still. Not one rustling tree branch, not one chirping bird. Nothing. All Jamie could do was stand there and stare, the sight so startling that it was almost unreal."

  • A Not So Merry Beginning to the Christmas Season in Lawndale High... (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'I feel like Barbie took a sparkly shit on a rainbow that died three days ago.' 'No Daria, that is what you look like in that outfit.'"

  • Ultra Love (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Every twenty years Lawndale High has a Thompson as the star quarterback. In the late 1970's it began with Doug Thompson. In the late 90's it was his son, Kevin. Now, in 2018, it's Ultra Thompson." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Winter Is Coming, by Meester_Lee (parts 1 and 2): "She remembered later just how ordinary the day had seemed until after dinner." (Part 2)

Saturday, December 1, 2018

Mmm...Cholesterol


Jake had better take it easy there. It may be the start of National Eggnog Month, but that quart will have to last him until the end of December. Plus, that's obviously milk and not eggnog. And finally, Daria can attest that out-of-season 'nog can lead to holiday-related hallucinations.

Fandom News!

Thursday, November 29, 2018

They Really Are Eating Unauthorized Chocolate!


Tom and Daria are completely on board with National Chocolates Day, especially because Quinn's going to be pissed when she finds out. If you'll excuse me, I have some celebrating of my own to do. See you when the sugar coma wears off!

Fanfic Update!
  • The Blum-Decker Option, by Roentgen (parts 1 - 3): "Kevin Grossman walked up to 1527 White River Way in Lawndale. He ended up in this dreary bourgeois town by happenstance." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Hands Down, by Princess_Pasta (part 5): "Everyone hates the message board miscreant, but now you can do something about it! Flame wars: the next generation, tonight on Sick, Sad World! Kevin had a bowl of Cocoa Puffs precariously balanced on his lap while he flipped through the TV channels when his mom walked through the front door."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 33): "It was no secret that Harry James Morgendorffer, “HJ” to his friends and family, liked sports cars—the faster, the higher-performance, the better. Not that he could do much more than look—being nine years old and being on an allowance drastically limited his options and buying power."

  • Home, by Rémi (part 3): "Morgendorffer household. Morning. Quinn and Daria are together in the kitchen. Quinn is preparing pancakes, smiling and humming softly. Daria is sitting and looking at Quinn while she cooks, with a slight Mona Lisa grin and an unsually tender expression on her face."

  • Love of a Good Esteemster, by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "I wasn't really worried about being late for the self-esteem class which the so-called school counselor pseudo-shrink condemned me to until I considered that being late might be considered a sign of low self-esteem and condemn me for a longer sentence in whatever purgatory 'teen self-esteem class' was a euphemism for in Lawndale High's jargon."

  • Magician's Code, by Crow-Black Dream (COMPLETE!): "Stacy slept in that morning. The first thing she saw was the bouquet of daisies arranged around the unfurled flower wand in a blue vase on the dresser."

Tuesday, November 27, 2018

The Wind Cries Jodie


I see Jodie has added "Jimi Hendrix impersonator" to her already-substantial list of extracurricular activities, at least for today because it's the anniversary of the late musician's birth in 1942. For any further historical details about Hendrix, we should ask Stan from "Speedtrapped." Unless you value accuracy, in which case you should ask literally anyone else.

Fandom News!

Sunday, November 25, 2018

Apparently There IS Crying in Baseball


Mr. O'Neill would wish the late baseball player Joe DiMaggio a happy birthday, except that right now he's an inanimate object and therefore unable to speak. Let's enjoy it while it lasts, shall we? Especially because the real Mr. O'Neill is probably even less intelligent than the bobble-head version.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 14): "While Daria and Erwin were working on programming the welding robots, out in the old habitat space Anton checked his hard suit to make certain there were no air leaks."

  • Hands Down, by Princess_Pasta (part 4): "The doorbell rang out while Daria was glued to her computer, staring at a blank Word document. She'd been there since she got home, trying her hardest to get something written down. She was no stranger to writer's block but this was the worst time for it to rear its ugly head."

  • Home, by Rémi (part 2): "Morgendorffer household by night. Quinn's room. Quinn and Daria are both in their night clothes. Quinn is sitting on her bed, Daria on a camp bed. They both look miserable. Daria is purposedly ignoring Quinn's attempts at communicating."

  • Late Postal Delivery (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2018!), by Brother Grimace (part 3): "'Everyone in the First Academy is required to learn how to fight,' Divon explained to the boys, who watched her practice Jeet Kune Do on a trio of practice dummies in the center of the 'warren' as they lounged in the twin hammocks."

  • No, Thanksgiving (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn is in the backyard draining out the pool. Her next door neighbor, Ming Wang, comes up to the fence. 'Quinn, how are you?' Smiling, Quinn said 'Hi, Ming.'" (Part 2) (Part 3)

Friday, November 23, 2018

I Hope Helen's Credit Card Can Handle the Strain


The Fashion Club is ready to go for Black Friday, and I pity the crowds that get in their way today. Just beware of shopper's cramp, girls!

Meanwhile, I'll be joining Daria and Jane for Buy Nothing Day, but that's less of a protest against consumerism than it is pure laziness on my part.

Finally, today marks the eleventh anniversary of this very blog, begun on this day in 2007 by awesome writer/fan/blogger/human being The Angst Guy. Happy birthday, you wonderful old fandom blog!

Fandom News!

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

"Next, on Sick, Sad World!"


Daria and Jane are celebrating World Television Day and--oh, wait. This is what they do every day, so never mind. I guess I don't need to tell anyone how to observe this holiday!

Today is also False Confession Day, so feel free to pretend you committed a crime, I guess? I have no idea what the point of this one is, but it could be a good opportunity to claim you murdered Kevin. Everyone else did, after all.

Fanfic Update!
  • Career Daze (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn is driving while Sam is in the front passenger seat. Teddy is in the back taking notes. Sam looked out the window. 'So, this is Philadelphia, huh?'" (Part 3)

  • Forty-nine Old Geek (Ironic Chef - "Daria Schrecter"), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "'Mr. Schrecter, can I ask one thing?' 'Yeah.' 'Why have you been living in our home and keeping house for two months?'"

  • Hands Down, by Princess_Pasta (part 3): "Daria was eating lunch at a lone table in Pizza King on a breezy Saturday afternoon, her trusty journal splayed out before her among discarded grease-stained napkins and stray crumbs."

  • Home, by Rémi (part 1): "Morgendorffer household. Helen, Jake and a still pregnant Quinn are watching the news. Quinn suddenly tenses up when a new subject is adressed."

  • Late Postal Delivery (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2018!), by Brother Grimace (parts 1 and 2): "'It's a quarter to five, Chris! We're leaving in fifteen minutes!' Christopher Griffin tried to not growl at the sound of his mother's voice in the distant darkness." (Part 2)

  • Thank U, by Lady Evil (part 25): "Trent was woken by the sound of his phone quacking. I gotta get a new phone sometime. He thought even as he answered it. 'Hello?'"

Monday, November 19, 2018

What a Potty Mouth!


Daria's getting up close and personal with her friend Talking Toilet for World Toilet Day. I'm not sure it'll be much of a conversation, though. Daria's not much of a talker and I suspect I wouldn't like to hear the things a toilet has to say.

If toilets aren't your thing, today is also Ms. Barch's least-favorite holiday, International Men's Day. So enjoy your day, approximately fifty percent of the world's population!

Fandom News!

Saturday, November 17, 2018

Helen's Taking "Breadwinner" Too Literally


Helen's hoping that Homemade Bread Day will be over soon, because she just can't take kneading any more bread. Someone should tell her that bread machine bread still technically counts as homemade, but maybe she just really wants that soul-flavored bread.

Once she's done with the breadmaking, she should take some time to get outdoors for Take A Hike Day. Mr. DeMartino is way ahead of her, and frankly I'm worried he might not come back. With Kevin as a student, I'm not sure I could blame him.

Fanfic Update!
  • Career Daze (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Mrs. Henderson is addressing her first grade class. The students include Quinn 'Q' Ruttheimer, Michelle Wang, Shane Sloane, Kevin Thompson Jr. and the Carbone Triplets."

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 13): "Erin trudged home from the T. She had been on her feet most of the day and was exhausted. There had been no seat on the train home and the weather had turned bitterly cold and wet."

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 23): "Judging from the amount of trees in the area, Daria noted that they had finally reached either the South or the Midwest. A lot of the cities they drove through had been destroyed on the apocalyptic hellfire."

  • Hands Down, by Princess_Pasta (parts 1 and 2): "It was a Thursday afternoon in early September not unlike hundreds before it. Only, today, Daria was driven from the comfortable fortress of her room and forced to walk the streets. It wasn't her family that had her rushing for the door but the clashing thoughts in her head." (Part 2)

  • Mirror (Iron Chef: Glittering Lawndale), by Astrocar82 (part 2): "As Daria got onto the bus, after a bizarre kiss on the cheek from her far more subdued than usual father, her fears seemed validated immediately."

  • Superiors, by ST91 (part 20): "Anthony braked abruptly when he found himself facing a SUV's carcass. What the hell!? He thought. From the corner of his eye he saw the façade of the house Morgendorffer destroyed and his heart skipped a beat."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 155): "Greg Adams was busy reading e-mail from some of his fellow Academy graduates. His roommate was out for the day, visiting family, and Esra had decided to attend a movie with Jenni Mishta. It was some sort of chick flick and when Esra explained the plot, Greg lost interest."

Thursday, November 15, 2018

Things Went Downhill After the Fashion Club Broke Up


Either Sandi is getting surprisingly into America Recycles Day or she's just lost her damn mind entirely. Then again, I suppose there's no reason it can't be both. I'm sure Quinn will be happy to see that she's not the only one who's been caught wearing--or wielding--a Hefty bag!

If you really get the urge to do some cleaning up today, try going through the fridge for Clean Your Refrigerator Day. Look out for that red stuff, though. I have serious doubts that it's cranberry juice.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Schrödinger's Reader


Don't disturb Daria right now, because she's observing Young Readers Day. That's some serious dedication to a holiday, considering she had to go back in time to do it! I'd ask her what the secret of time travel is except she just got to a good part and I can't bear to interrupt her reading. Young, old, or in between, please enjoy a good book today!

Fanfic Update!
  • The Awkward Phase (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "While their father prattled about a bunch of old film that Mad Dog had shot years ago and saying that a lot of happy memories were coming back to him, his daughters mostly tuned him out in favor of the more recent family video of Daria's third birthday party."

  • Beginnings (Pasta's Never-Ending Ideas Thread 2), by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "There was something almost charming about the small suburb of Lawndale...if you chose to overlook the unstable landfill and utterly boring scenery."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 51): "Daria's suspicions about the new boys proved correct. The three boys banded together and started making trouble for their classmates."

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 12): "The impact that woke Erin threw her from the bed. Her first realisation was the approaching floor. Sitting up she gently tested her teeth and nose both of which felt broken. 'Ow! My face' she said."

  • Flight, by Princess_Pasta (part 4): "Dr. Jasmine Mackenzie was a whip smart woman with the patience of a saint. She was good looking for mid-forties, dark-skinned with a cascade of deadlocks that she kept bound by a thick band. Out of all the therapists that Daria had cycled through, she was the toughest nut to crack."

  • When Tony Comes Marching Home (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "A young Tony Carbone is at HQ. Tony has a buzz cut and an angry scowl despite the fact that he's at a party. His Ranger batallion is having a Christmas party before going on holiday leave. One of his fellow Rangers, a red haired guy named Dennis, walks up to him."

Sunday, November 11, 2018

A Salute to Those Who Served


Today we salute not only George Patton on the anniverary of his birth in 1885, but also all veterans because today is Veteran's Day. I'm not sure if there are any military veterans in Daria, because aside from military school references no character is explicitly stated to have served in combat. Even Mad Dog has no specific mention of being a veteran to my knowledge, although it seems likely and fanon agrees. Mr. DeMartino is a likely candidate, too, and I suppose Buck Conroy might count if you include mercenaries. Anyone I'm missing? Let me know in the comments.

Fandom News!

Friday, November 9, 2018

"Mad Mack" Is More Than Just a Nickname!


Mack's concocting something extra special for Inventor's Day, but he's got a long way to go if he wants to beat Andrew Landon's folding coffee cup. Judging by how much of that glowing green stuff he's spilling, I'm not sure he's going to accomplish much of anything useful aside from maybe disfiguring himself horribly.

That might work, too, though, because today is also Chaos Never Dies Day. That holiday seems like it be more well-suited to Kevin, but I'm not going to argue with that face.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Smijey (part 26): "Janice stood at the edge of the sidewalk leading up to the house. It was lived in, but looked kind of dilapidated, and nobody'd bothered to mow the lawn for the past few weeks."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 50): "School started the third week of August, a week after the last day of day camp. Despite Daria's general dislike for exercise and the great outdoors, she found that she missed day camp, at least a little."

  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 13): "The tension in the colony was palpable. Everyone was on edge. Commander Ramirez had formed two teams. One would engage the approaching enemy at the opening to their valley. The other would protect the nuclear reactor."

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 11): "Were they dating? Erin hummed as she wandered around her apartment, finalising her nightly rituals. Occasionally she danced a few steps. Her weekend had been perfect."

  • Questions of Reality, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "'Good Morning,' Laura Albertson said, as she walked up. Amanda Leigh saw that she continually held her left hand in her short hair as she usually did."

  • Second Chance for Love: Summertime Fun, by David Falkayn (part 30): "'There might be some potential within you after all, Ms. Morgendorffer.' Percival admitted to his sole remaining student, a sarcastic grin on his face, as the pair sat in the now empty classroom."

  • Thank U (formerly The Wrath of Con), by Lady Evil (part 24): "Jane was sitting on a couch Monday morning at the Thatcher duplex. She petted the white rabbit in her lap as Ollie looked through her sketches, occasionally giggling. 'Oh, this is perfect, Jane!' she was saying. 'You've really captured the essence of Lafayette!'"

Wednesday, November 7, 2018

I Isolate Radioactive Isotopes, Therefore I Am


Quinn's doing her best Marie Curie impression for the anniversary of the physicist's birth on this day in 1867. At least she will until the Fashion Club catches her acting like a brain. I mean, it's not like she has to make that much effort in Ms. Barch's class to get a good science grade. She's got two X chromosomes, so she's good for at least a B no matter what she does.

If she decides to keep a lower profile, she can switch to her "existential" turtleneck outfit in honor of philosopher Albert Camus's birth on this day in 1913. I'm not sure exactly how Camus felt about accessories from the street fair, though.

Fandom News!

Monday, November 5, 2018

Bollocks!


Guy Fawkes Day doesn't seem very happy that today's his day, but I suppose if you represented a holiday based on something that didn't happen then I suppose you'd be less than enthusiastic as well. Celebrate with some overused English stereotypes. Pip-pip and cheeri-o!

Fanfic Update!
  • An Annoying Truth (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jake has just declared his intention to tell Kevin the truth about Daryl and Brittany. Quinn is now trying to talk him out of it. 'Dad,' she said, 'Think about what you're doing.'"

  • Freakin' Friends Forever, by Princess_Pasta (part 7): "Jane to Daria Are you ready to deck the halls for the ho-ho-holidays? I'm not!"

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 50): "'Buy me a drink?' Jesse gave a cursory glance at the woman that had come to stand beside him and had to do a double take. He had been drinking- a lot and he had wanted to continue until he forgot everything......that is until now."

  • Powerpuff Girls, by peapotmaster (part 1): "A black haired girl in a green outfit lied on the ground, as she turned to see her town being attacked by one who they and her sisters trusted."

  • Questions of Reality, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The city of Bellington Vale was quiet, it being just before dawn. However, some events were to occur to disturb the peace. Indeed, a horrific discovery was made in Victoria Park as the sun began to peek above the horizon."

Saturday, November 3, 2018

A Book and a Sandwich...What Could Be Better?


Let's not get desperate here. It might be National Sandwich Day, but I'd like to think we can come up with a better option than "antique sandwich Jane just peeled off of Daria's butt." For example, Earl and Barbara just cooked up a new batch of grilled cheese that they'd be happy to--on second thought, let me have another look at that PBJ Jane found.

If, like me, you're having doubts about the whole sandwich thing, then let me invite you to celebrate Book Lovers Day instead. It's well-suited to Daria fans and less likely to give you indigestion.

Fandom News!

Thursday, November 1, 2018

I Hope They Stocked Up on Antacids!


I think Jake's the only one in the Morgendorffer house that's feeling enthusiastic about Men Make Dinner Day. Everyone else is making sure they still have Pizza King on speed dial.

Personally, they should try being a little braver. After all, today is also the anniversary of the 1871 birth of Stephen Crane, author of The Red Badge of Courage. I don't think Crane would agree with Mr. O'Neill's comparison of the book to the Cowardly Lion, but considering Crane died shortly after The Wizard of Oz was published I suppose he had more important things to worry about.

Fanfic Update!
  • An Annoying Paradise - Daria, by Resop (part 12): "'What?' Daria looks at Enchi-sensei in disbelief. 'Daria, I am afraid that you have outgrown my teaching. There is nothing more I can teach you.'"

  • An Annoying Truth (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 2): "Jake and Helen are in the home office visiting Quinn. Jake has just learned that Brittany has been cheating on Kevin with her personal trainer, Daryl. His reaction is pure shock."

  • Break (Iron Chef: Daria the Unreliable Narrator), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Sweltering summer sun filtered in through the windows of The Tank, the cheerful warmth no match for the frost coming from the passenger's seat. Trent guided the van down the stretch of highway, wondering as he had for the past thirty minutes, why Daria had to tag along."

  • Dammit Daria, by SexshiTiTePaNtZ (part 10): "'Don't call me Janey and give it to me straight.' Trent clenched his fork so tight that the pressure flung a bunch of rice in the air. Jane wrinkled her nose when rice stuck to it."

  • Daria/Quinnts - Children of Mt Olympus, by Daria7142 (part 1): "It was the middle of night outside in the quiet community of Elysium Paradise. Most of the residents are preparing to sleep as the moon shine brightly outside. At the Nightrays home, a bright light beam outside a room on the second floor of the building."

  • Flight, by Princess_Pasta (part 3): "Mr. O'Neill's whiny voice was impossible to drown out, no matter how hard Daria tried. She watched as he awkwardly fumbled through papers and wondered how a man so flaky could possibly teach them anything about self-confidence."

  • Freakin' Friends Forever, by Princess_Pasta (part 6): "Jane to Daria My parents are getting a divorce."

  • Pity, by WellTemperedClavier (COMPLETE!): "Jane stood at her window and looked down three stories to where Daria was stepping out onto the wet sidewalk, opening an umbrella as her booted feat set off to the train station."

  • Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Brother Grimace (part 154): "'You know - it's like a dark cloud has dropped over this Tower of yours.' Wills Warbles stood on the beach just below where Legion Tower stood, and tossed a rock into the dark, surprisingly still waters of Lewis Bay as Julia looked on."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "The door slammed open. Between the faux tropical decor and scent of fruity mixed drinks, it was exactly the kind of bar one would expect Timothy O'Neil to frequent. It sure as hell wasn't one of the dive bars that appealed to any of the other men with."

  • Winter unsavings, by JPAGC (part 1): "That friday, Daria returned home, after a long day at school and some at the public Library, to find Quinn at the Den, tied up on the phone, sitting down at the Table with a huge quantity of papers in front of her."

Tuesday, October 30, 2018

Ready For Some Mischief?


Halloween's big day is actually tomorrow, but she's happy to celebrate Mischief Night in the meantime. All she needs is some toilet paper, eggs, and someone who can drive. Oh, and possibly bail money. Just remember that if you decide to take all the toilet paper to TP anyone's house, please leave one roll for Jake. He really didn't appreciate it the last time.

Fandom News!

Sunday, October 28, 2018

Mmm...Chocolate Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bits!


Mrs. Bennett will be right with you, as soon as she's done observing Plush Animal Lover's Day. We can have her attention back once she's appreciated every single Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bit in the store, which means we'd really be better off just moving on without her.

Speaking of grown women with unhealthy obsessions, today is also National Chocolate Day and--what? Oh, right, of course I was referring to Mrs. Johanssen. Not myself. Hey, is that unauthorized chocolate over there? Be right back.

Fanfic Update!
  • An Annoying Truth (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "A black Lincoln Continental pulls into the driveway. Jake Morgendorffer emerges. At sixty-eight he now looks like he did in the future secene at the end of 'Write Where It Hurts', except that he still has some brown locks among the gray hair. As he approaches the house he has a thought."

  • Barb Wire (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'So, anyway,' Quinn said. 'I was waiting in line behind Skyler at Starbucks. He got, like, I don't know, a vente, and I got an expresso, and I was - !' ' - wait a minute,' Sandi said. 'What was that you got?'"

  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 12): "Commander Ramirez walked into the library and sat down in a chair across from Daria. In an already tired voice she said, 'Daria, as much as I hate to say it you are about to become the first Martian war reporter.'"

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 10): "It was Saturday morning and Erin was out at bed early. All of her clothes, even the loathsome skirt, were laid on the bed or hung from every possible hook. Erin nibbled on toast while she combined outfits in her mind."

  • Esteem Loudly (Iron Chef: Lisa Loud or Daria Morgendorffer?), by EntrancedCat (part 1): "I watched Dad's head swivel and bob as he navigated the boat of our massive new SUV through the still unfamiliar streets of Lawndale, MD. I had mixed hopes and desires that he and his passengers were headed in the right direction or that he would give up and we could all go home for another day."

  • Evil Deed Blues, by CaffeineAddict94 (part 4): "No matter how many years passed, stepping foot inside a principal's office still filled her with dread."

  • Flight, by Princess_Pasta (part 2): "Lawndale High was every bit as terrible as Daria predicted. Fifteen minutes into new student orientation and she already wanted to gouge her eyes out."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 32): "'This is not what I had in mind for my life,' she said. 'I don't want to be a witch.' 'Sweetie, I love you no matter what you are,' said Helen. She did the only thing she could think of doing, and gave her daughter a hug."

  • The Paris Commune (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Jake Morgendorffer drove his two daughters up to the front of Lawndale High School. 'Just be glad your mother isn't with us in this car,' Jake said."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 29): "'Girls?' Helen called up to her daughters currently in the living room, 'Could you come into the kitchen for a moment? Your father and I would like to talk to you.'"

  • Superiors, by ST91 (part 19): "Daria climbed the stairs very quickly ... yet her brain was running faster than her. She was looking for a possible explanation for what happened but she couldn't find one. So she thought of a story that might seem plausible."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 153): "Tom Sloane waited impatiently for the elevator to take him up to Sandi Griffin's office. He knew he needed to update her on QMS Manufacturing and the newest sticky wicket. Joan had told him that his was something that could be handled but even so - 'when in doubt, elevate'."

Friday, October 26, 2018

Dawn is the Newest Spice Girl, Pumpkin Spice


Although not given a prominent role on the show, Dawn is helping us all to celebrate National Pumpkin Day! In fact, I think she gets more screen time as an alter ego than she ever did as an actual Daria character. Still, serving as a round orange vegetable makes up for it, right?

If pumpkins aren't spooky enough for your Halloween season, then you might prefer to celebrate Frankenstein Friday instead. Just remember two important facts: Frankenstein was the name of the scientist, not the monster; and no one likes a pedant.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

The Hero Lawndale Deserves


Jane is dressed in a just-different-enough-to-avoid-a-lawsuit version of the Batman outfit in honor of late comic book writer Bob Kane's birth on this day in 1915. She did say she wanted to be a bat, although she seemed more interested in sleeping upside-down and spreading rabies than in fighting crime. Still, she's finally getting her wish!

Today is also Food Day, so celebrate by eating food if you weren't planning to do that already. If you need some inspiration, this also happens to be National Bologna Day, so help yourself to some questionable meat-like product if you aren't too particular about what goes into your digestive system.

Fanfic Update!
  • Anniversary, by Rémi (COMPLETE!): "Evening. Dr. Calan's appartement. Dr. Calan and Quinn are coming in. Dr. Calan is carrying several bags. Quinn looks approximately six months pregnant."

  • Bobbie Caller, by Meester_Lee (part 5): "Daria didn't see Bobbie again until Monday. She missed home room, although she did hand a permission slip to Mr. De Martino just as the students were leaving for their classes. Daria didn't have a chance to talk with Bobbie until after French class."

  • Dammit Daria, by SexshiTiTePaNtZ (part 10): "'I can't keep my hands off you.' Jane said as she lurched for Daria. The petite brunette lay under her, belly-side-down, like a piece of buttery toast."

  • Daria Drinks in China, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'More fucking beer!' Daria demanded, slamming a fist down on the table she and Jane shared at the bar."

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 9): "Arriving at work on Monday morning, Erin had not taken her coat off before Anne pounced. 'How did it go?' Anne asked,' Was he dreamy?' Erin smirked. 'Do you mean before the marriage proposal or after? Because they were very different experiences'"

  • Evil Deed Blues, by Princess_Pasta (part 3): "Blinding sunlight filtered in through the gaps in Monique's blinds and roused her from a fitful sleep. Her dreams were plagued by visions of faceless monsters and endless mazes, not the most refreshing way to spend the night."

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 22): "For miles and miles they had traveled, based on nothing more than the printed directions Daria had gotten for the trip back when she was still in Lawndale."

  • Flight, by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "Stacy Rowe was born scared. Okay, that was probably a major exaggeration on her part but, for as long as she could remember, she'd been seized by an overwhelming sense of dread."

  • Hell-oween (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn and Jim are getting ready for bed. Jim is sitting up in bed and looks really distraught, which Quinn notices. 'Jim, honey, what's wrong?'" (Part 3) (Part 4)

  • Metamorphoses, by Rémi (COMPLETE!): "Dr. Calan's office. Quinn and Dr. Calan are talking. Dr. Calan (benevolent) : How are things, my sweet Quinn ? I hope your parents aren't too harsh with you."

  • The Montana Cabin Fund is going to LIT!!! (Iron Chef: MegaMillions), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "JANE: It's WHUB 98.5 and This must be Daria and Jane! I'm Jane and Why does your name come first? DARIA: This is Daria and I think it's Branding? Hell if I know? But we have some important stuff we need to talk about."

  • The Turn Around, by Silberias (COMPLETE!): "Trent knew he had to take care of his baby sister—no one else in his family was going to do it, and Daria had left for college. Sure, she'd be back, and Janey had taken care of herself just fine before Daria Morgendorffer, but this was something big."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 152): "Mack drove up to the Bel Air home of producer Nicholas Leppner and award-winning actress Jennifer Collins. The plan was that he would meet Carter's parents and have dinner."

Monday, October 22, 2018

Munch the Nutty Nutty?


I think Daria and Jane should scale back their National Nut Day celebrations a little. They're getting just a tiny bit carried away. Of course, if Trent sees them then his brain really will get hijacked by peanuts.

Then again, it's possible that this is just an LSD-induced hallucination, which would be appropriate because today is the anniversary of Timothy Leary's birth in 1920. I have no idea how many more Learys the Yeagers have gone through by now, but I'm convinced that any amount is too many.

Fandom News!

Saturday, October 20, 2018

Blood? Ewwww.


Sandi has once again missed the point when it comes to vampires, as she's clearly impersonating Gary Oldman's Dracula when it's Bela Lugosi's birthday. Oh, well--it could be worse. She could be Edward Cullen.

Fanfic Update!
  • All's Fair, by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Heavy clouds loomed overhead, an ominous start to an already unusual day. Kevin cast a wary glance skyward before he hoisted his duffel bag into the back of his Jeep." (Part 14) (Part 15)

  • Consequences, by Rémi (COMPLETE!): "Cedars of Lawndale Mental Health Unit. Visitation room. Quinn is trying to get her sister’s attention, but Daria is the living image of prostration. She stays there sitting, unmoving, her head lowered." (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

  • Evil Deed Blues, by Princess_Pasta (parts 1 and 2): "What started as a trip to rekindle an old flame came to a grinding halt when Trent Lane found himself face to face with his son for the first time." (Part 2)

  • Hell-oween (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "The trees are now a wonderful collage of red, brown, orange and yellow which, combined with all of the Halloween decorations, let's us know it's fall. In the garage of Casa Carbone Kevin is lying dead on the floor while Jim draws a chalk line around him."

  • Jay Lane Chapter 2, by ST91 (part 1): "Art class. The only subject where Jay was the king. No one was better than him at drawing, whatever the medium was. It could not be otherwise since he was born and raised in a family of artists."

  • Loathe Thy Neighbor (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jim, Chuck, Mack and Kevin are in the driveway drinking beer. Kevin is also smoking a cigarette. They see a trailer truck come down Bealer Street." (Part 2) (Part 3)

Thursday, October 18, 2018

Or Is He Finally Growing that Goatee?


Jake hasn't gotten the memo that today is No Beard Day, or else this is just his weird way of sticking it to The Man. And by "The Man," I mean whoever came up with this holiday. Probably not greeting card companies, unless I've just missed all the No Beard Day cards. Maybe razor blade companies?

Fandom News!

Tuesday, October 16, 2018

When Is Glass Ceiling Day?


"Helen! Helen! Did you know that today is Boss's Day? I forgot to call and remind you to get me a greeting card!"

Of course, as far as Marianne's concerned every day is Boss's Day. I hope one day is Quit This Lousy Job Day for her, because no one deserves that much crap.

Fanfic Update!
  • Allowance, by Rémi (COMPLETE!): "A twelve years old Daria is walking alone in the street, carrying her schoolbag on her back. Her attention is attracted by the storefront of a bookshop. She stops in her track and stares longingly at the exposed books."

  • All's Fair, by Princess_Pasta (part 12): "Casa Lane hadn't changed one bit. With everything else in her life going haywire, it was nice to know that some things stayed consistent. The discordant sounds of a Mystik Spiral practice session were filtering out from the basement, forcing the pair to retreat upstairs."

  • Consequences, by Rémi (parts 1 and 2): "Lawndale High. The three members of the Cooking Club are eating together. Jane (looking at her plate with disgust) : You know, the food from the cafeteria was bad enough before I had good and healthy food to compare it with." (Part 2)

  • Daria's esteemsters, by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "I wasn't really worried about being late for the self-esteem class which the so-called school counselor pseudo-shrink condemned me to until I considered that being late might be considered a sign of low self-esteem and condemn me for a longer sentence in whatever purgatory 'teen self-esteem class' was a euphemism for in Lawndale High's jargon."

  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 11): "Commander Ramirez looked over the map shown on the glass top video table. The map was a highly detailed image of everything within 100 km (62 miles)."

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 8): "The Murdered Crab was a new seafood restaurant on the edge of Boston's tourist area. Located on a corner it had an excellent view of the City sky line and a mediocre view at the harbour."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 31): "Helen and Daria made the drive from Ruskin to San Antonio a week or so later. The traffic from Ruskin to I-35 wasn't that bad, nor was I-35; since Ruskin was south and not north of Austin. The traffic around San Antonio began to intensify just north of Selma. Helen took US 281 south of Interstate 410 and soon was in Alamo Heights."

  • Sour Keys, by booboothefoolish (COMPLETE!): "'Oh God damn it .” was the first thing Daria said when she looked at the little white stick with it's two red bars."

  • Tony Carbone Rides Again (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Timmy and Tommy's rooms are directly across the hallway from each other. As the boys sit in their rooms Jim scolds them."

  • The Wrath of Con, by Lady Evil (part 23): "'You have a fetish.' Danny said as he brushed spirit gum on his brother's forehead. 'I do not.' said Jesse, sitting in a kitchen chair as his brother applied an artificial forehead."

Sunday, October 14, 2018

The Bald Criminale


I'm not sure if Max is excited because he just became a junior deputy or because it's Be Bald and Free Day. Max is the only bald character on Daria I can think of offhand, but if anyone knows of another then please share in the comments. Of course, just because a character seems to have hair doesn't mean said hair is real....

In tastier news, today is also National Dessert Day. Quinn's whipping up another layer cake for Kevin, while Mrs. Johanssen is going to have (what else?) chocolate. Mack will probably swing by with the ice cream truck later.

Fandom News!

Friday, October 12, 2018

Meanwhile, Trent's Still Getting Paid NOT to Grow Crops


Today is Old Farmer's Day, and I think Helen would take exception to the "old" part of that. After all, she's only forty tw--four!

If she does get mad, that's appropriate too because today is also Moment of Frustration Day. Just remember that you only get one moment to be frustrated. After that, just repress your anger like everyone else! Works for Jake, right?

Fanfic Update!
  • All's Fair, by Princess_Pasta (part 11): "Birthdays were never Daria's cup of tea, especially her own. Even when she was a kid, all she wanted was to be left alone. Unfortunately, that never happened."

  • The Cooking Club, by Rémi (COMPLETE!): "Cedars of Lawndale Mental Earth Unit. Visitation room. Daria is seating on a chair with a vacant expression. Quinn comes in, carrying a bag containing tableware and several tupperware boxes." (Part 5) (Part 6)

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 30): "'Mom,' said Daria. 'What is it, Sweetie?' said Helen. 'We need to talk,' said Daria. 'There's something I have to tell you. I think I might be a witch.'"

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 28): "'Okay, Kevin...' Lowering her head and closing her eyes for a moment as she pinched her nose, Angie tried once again to get through to the quarterback. 'Let's try it this way...'"

  • Tony Carbone Rides Again (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "The whole household is in the living room. Quinn, Tommy and Timmy are watching TV while Teddy is reading 'War And Peace' and Jim is on the phone." (Part 2)

  • You Want It Darker (formerly Prometheus/Lingchi), by LongSnakeMoan (part 4): "By the time Daria had arrived she'd felt if not better than at least not as bad as it had been. The picture had been locked away, carefully put back into the drawer and covered in scraps of fabric to protect it."

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Don't Get Mental This Morning!


The fine people at Quiet Ivy want everyone to know that today is World Mental Health Day, so today would be a good day to have a check-up or get some other mental wellness support. Not at Quiet Ivy, though. That place sucks. I wouldn't recommend talking to Ms. Manson or Mr. O'Neill, either, which leaves you with...I don't know. Maybe a nice hike with Mr. DeMartino to calm your nerves? Just don't get him started on his job, okay?

Fandom News!

Monday, October 8, 2018

THAT'S Not a Guitar Player!


Everyone wish both a happy birthday and a g'day to Crocodile Dundee actor Paul Hogan, who was born on this day in 1939. Jesse actually looks pretty comfortable in this role, which makes you wonder what he's up to when he isn't performing with the Spiral. Anyone want to write that crossover fanfic?

Fanfic Update!
  • An Annoying Paradise - Daria, by Resop (part 11): "Jane shows up at Daria's lunch table, already overflowing with the other intermediate and remedial trainees. 'Any room?' 'Aren't you sitting with the fine arts folks?' 'I don't want to punch out Brittany. That Jezebel gave my Tomu chocolate.'"

  • The Cooking Club, by Rémi (parts 1 - 3): "Morgendorffer house. Evening. Quinn is studying in her room when her mother comes in. Helen : Can I have a word with you sweetie?" (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 29): "Daria Morgendorffer didn't do many sleep-overs. She wasn't that popular with her peers: most kids thought that she was weird."

  • Jim's Secret Shame (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "The three boys have been sent to their rooms, allowing Quinn and Jim to talk about this frankly and openly. Jim is in a state of panic." (Part 3)

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 151): "Daria walked up the steps to the Baeza Museum at the USAES campus. The Museum was part of the 'Old Campus' and was a storage location for mystical items and objects, some of which were available for public display."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes that should be: Pacific Rimmers), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "Ted noticed the girl at a New-York bar. She wore was a bit anachronistic. It was '40 style female office clothes, coloured with the tints of grey. Women used them to look stronger and more male like many years ago. A dark brown fedora laid at the bar next to her."

Saturday, October 6, 2018

A Very Merry Unbirthday to Kevin!


You know, it might make sense for Kevin to be as crazy as the Mad Hatter, but I'm afraid he's only dressed that way because today is Mad Hatter Day. During the other 364 days of the year, he's just dumb.

This is also World Card Making Day, but don't make Stacy's mistake and give your poems away for free!

Finally, because this is National Noodle Day, here's an extra warning not to let the penne a la pesto oxidize. Or let it get dumped on your head, for that matter.

Fandom News!

Thursday, October 4, 2018

"Yeah." "Cool." "Fore."


Never mind the slim likelihood that Jesse would be an avid golfer, National Golf Lover's Day or not. Let's talk about the complete impossibility that the boy who hates shirts would ever wear an outfit like that. I think I can hear the Fashion Club screaming in terror already.

Today is also the anniversary of Daria's appearance on Drawn Together in 2007, but in Daria fandom we don't talk about that. We just don't.

Fanfic Update!
  • All's Fair, by Princess_Pasta (part 10): "Halloween for Kevin typically meant bloody slasher flicks and gorging himself on candy until he passed out from a sugar coma. This year, he was doing something markedly different."

  • Don't Go Clubbing Without Protection, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Sandi looked at the tiny, violet-hued caplet, clear and filled with bronze flecks, that Jodie placed in the palm of her hand. 'And this is safe - right?'"

  • The Great Regression (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn, Teddy, Daria, Jane and Lindy are on the sidewalk watching a procession. The leader of this procession is a short man with gray hair and glasses. He's the grand marshal of the event."

  • Jim's Secret Shame (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Jim and Quinn are in the living room with Chuck and Stacy. They're relaxing and drinking some wine. On the coffee table is a jar full of small cards and a large stack of index cards. Stacy said 'Thanks for having us over.'"

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Does She Do Windows?


Sandi's doing her best for National Custodial Worker Day, but I really don't think that's a practical uniform for the job. In fact, it could be disastrous if Upchuck sees her dressed like that--he'll either refuse to leave her alone or (if we're lucky) faint on the spot.

Fandom News!

Sunday, September 30, 2018

Who Did Kevin Piss Off This Time?


Daria's off to solve another case in honor of the anniversary of Murder, She Wrote, which first aired on this day in 1984. I don't think Jessica Fletcher ever solved a case quite as convoluted as the one Daria dreamed in the parody episode "Murder, She Snored," but then again, who has?

Fanfic Update!
  • All's Fair, by Princess_Pasta (part 9): "No amount of pleading to the gods could stop Saturday from arriving. Daria spent her day doing what she did best: avoiding all human contact. Too bad that couldn't last forever."

  • A Creep By Any Other Name (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Then: Daria's phone rang again. Checking the caller ID, she sighed and answered it. 'I told you to stop calling me, you creep.'"

  • Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 7): "Erin liked attending conferences. They were indoor, they were warm and the good ones were catered. The downside was she had next to nothing to do and they were boring."

  • The Great Regression (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (parts 1 and 2): "The house is a fairly decent white sided two story. Inside is a visibly pregnant Lindy. Lindy is now married to Jim's older brother, Chris, and they are expecting their first child. A visibly excited Chris enters the room." (Part 2)

  • Jay Lane Chapter 1, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "Jay slowly enjoyed the taste of the cold beer. It went perfectly with the salty of the fries and with the greasy of the hamburger he had eaten before. Of course helping the band to load and unload the stuff from the van was tiring but it was worth it."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 27): "'Thanks for switching weekends with me, Christie.' Elizaveta said to her fellow employee at the bookstore as she was refreshing the shelves in the young adults section. 'My anya's niece is getting married this weekend.'"

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 150): "It's a real waste of time to visit Lawndale, Maryland. Lawndale wasn't known for much of anything until Revelation Day and now it's known for the teenage DPIs that make up National Legion Chapter One."

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XV: A New Era In Crossovers), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Which one is yours?' 'Oh, that's my kiddos over there--' The man pointed as two girls, one whose every facet screamed Popular and the other who screamed Freaks & Geeks - entered the high school."

Friday, September 28, 2018

Beer? Cool.


I think Jesse has (once again) gotten confused. See, today is Drink Beer Day, but Jesse has clearly allowed the beer to drink him. I feel like that's some kind of metaphor, but that might just be the beer talking.

Once you've celebrated Drink Beer Day enough, you'll be all ready for Ask a Stupid Question Day! Luckily for Kevin and Brittany, they can easily observe this one without the aid of alcohol. Mr. DeMartino might want some, though.

Fandom News!