Saturday, May 19, 2018

It Was a Dark and Stormy...Day

No need to be alarmed--today's just the anniversary of New England's infamous "Dark Day" on this day in 1780. Let me amend that: if the lights have gone out while you're at a Lane Family Reunion, then I suppose you might have some reason to be alarmed. Hey, that was not a pillow!

Fandom News!

Thursday, May 17, 2018


Helen and Jake are celebrating the anniversary of the first Kentucky Derby on this day in 1875, while the rest of us avert our eyes and try to scrub the image from our brains. You know, I really don't think this is what the Middleton bursar meant when he asked Jake if he plays the ponies.

Today is also Pack Rat Day, so today's the day to clean out the garage while the girls are at a camp reunion or throw out all the moldy food in the fridge. Figured out what that red stuff is yet?

Fanfic Update!
  • And I Feel Fine (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "The man staggered towards Fremont, wondering why he'd done it. His wife and son had been the thing that made his life bearable, ever since that girl and her car had destroyed his guitar and his chances on the road."

  • Coffee, by Zetor (part 2c): "Stacy looked over the items on the counter and hummed thoughtfully. 'Well, I did most of the cooking this morning. All that's really left is the turkey and the gravy, and we can't make the gravy until the turkey's done.'"

  • Death Of A Dream, by WildDogJJ (part 1): "We zoom in to see a camcorder mounted on a tripod next to Quinn's car. Quinn and Jim are looking at the camera. Jim: Hello, I'm Jim the Car Guy. Today, I'm going to show my girlfriend how to fix a flat tire. Say hi to the viewers, Quinn. Quinn smiles sweetly."

  • How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 10): "'So I guess the question now is should we still go to Jodie’s party?' Kevin asked. He and Daria were still sitting at the pizza place not yet feeling up to dealing with their lives outside right now."

  • Meetings, by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Sandi continued to ask herself if she'd gone crazy as she microwaved a bag of popcorn. She refused to face her present company again until she'd had time to properly reorient herself but she was having no such luck."

  • Rise of Weirdness, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (parts 1 and 2): "There had always been weirdness, which science couldn't explain. It was thought that it had disappeared in the early 20th Century, but it wasn't so. Shortly before the Second Great War, a discovery was made in Mesopotamia. A stash of cuneiform tablets. A Sumerian library. Little did the archaeologists know what that library contained."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 13): "'That slimy...rotten...sleazy...' Angie fumed as she picked Elizaveta up at the Morgendorffer house for another day of school. 'What happened, szereto?' Elizaveta asked, her voice etched with concern."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 122): "Jodie Landon buttoned her blouse and checked herself in the full length mirror in Brittany Taylor's room. Finding her old lip gloss, she applied it and checked her appearance from several angles."

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Li, the Great and Terrible

Pay no attention to the principal behind the curtain as we all wish Wizard of Oz author L. Frank Baum a happy birthday. Someone involved with the show must have been a fan, because in addition to the Daria's Inferno scene there, we also get Mr. O'Neill quoting the Cowardly Lion in "Fire!," Daria referencing Judy Garland's role in the movie at the start of "Legends of the Mall," and Mr. DeMartino's "and you were there" bit near the end of "Lucky Strike." I'm a little surprised that Daria and Jane didn't get blown away to Oz by the hurricane in "Daria!"

I suppose they couldn't bear to be separated from their loved ones, since today is also International Day of Families. While there are many families in Daria, I'm not sure any of them are ones that the U.N. would care to hold up as good examples.

Fandom News!

Sunday, May 13, 2018

Does This Pot of Gold Make Me Look Faaaat?

St. Patrick's Day may have been a couple of months ago, but Tiffany's finally catching up. Or perhaps she just knows that today is Leprechaun Day! Either way, I don't think I've ever seen that girl so expressive...or so unfashionably dressed.

I hope Tiffany also remembered to hire the agency's prettiest model today, because it's also Mother's Day. I'm sure Daria will give her mother a lovely gift just as soon as Helen gets home from her 18-hour day at work.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Charles RB (parts 13 and 14): "In the metaphorical piles-of-socks-never-washed that was the Pan-Dimensional Wikitome, Kristen Leung-141099 (a timeline where Sega's Dreamcast sold really well) was smiling and nodding while Janice-101.303 continued to butt in and talk to Cindy-191985 (a timeline where events in 1997 were in 1985 somehow)." (Part 14)

  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 2): "It was the fifth week into the flight. They had been in zero gravity with the engines off for quite a few days, at least it seemed that way. They were still a couple of weeks from needing to restart the ion engines to slow down so they did not miss Mars completely."

  • Enough (IC: Random Pairing Challenge 2018), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, Max, Charlie's here,' Chris says, digging his elbow into my arm and pulling me from the fantasy world of Krynn, back to the unfortunate reality of Lawndale High."

  • The Fall Of The House Of Barksdale (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jake is busy at work, by which I mean he's playing with a Rubik Cube. He is unable to solve it. Jake: Dammit, why don't these things come with instructions?" (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • That Summer, by Princess_Pasta (part 6): "Another day at camp and another step closer to a complete revolt. The kids are growing tired of Uncle Timothy's special brand of cluelessness and Uncle Anthony is threatening an overthrow."

Friday, May 11, 2018

Art and Food...Two of Jane's Favorite Things!

Jane should really cheer up, because today is artist Salvador Dali's birthday! Never mind the art reproductions, Jane, just rest your tired painting arm and have a slice of surreal cake, okay?

In fact, have whatever you want to celebrate because today is also Eat What You Want Day and I'm not the boss of you. Bon appetit!

Fandom News!

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Lost Boys and Lost Socks

Today is the anniversary of Peter Pan playwright James Barrie's birth on this day in 1860, and Mr. O'Neill is just a little too happy about it. I have to admit, though, that this job seems a much better fit for Mr. O'Neill than teacher. For one thing, he never has to grow up. For another, he spends a lot of time suspended from the ceiling where it's harder to invade people's personal space.

This is also Lost Sock Memorial Day, so if you've lost any socks to the make-out/laundry room then feel free to mourn them. Also, check with Daria and Jane in case they've seen them.

Fanfic Update!
  • An Annoying Paradise, by Resop (part 8): "'You seem happy today.' The bus to the subway station hits a bump causing Daria and Jane to bounce slightly."

  • The Coming Of The Cynic (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Jake and Helen seated with Emma, Rita and a five year old Erin. Emma's hair is just starting to go gray at this point so we see that her original hair color is the same shade of red as Quinn's. Rita looks the same as in 'Aunt Nauseum', only twenty years younger. Erin is in a pink dress with pig tails." (Part 3)

  • Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Charles RB (parts 8 - 12): "When Daria had been sent to the self-esteem class, she'd expected nothing but metaphorical farts. Instead she'd found Jane (in the class for six goes out of boredom) and Janice, who'd not only been borderline acceptable to hang out with but had opened her eyes to the glorious things about self-esteem class: using it to make her family suffer and using it to make O'Neill suffer." (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12)

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 40): "The Morgendorffers arrived in Lawndale after sunset. They'd left US highway 15 at Emmitsburg and drove southeast on Maryland highway 140, Jake vocally and Helen silently hoping that they were still on the road to Lawndale and hadn't managed to overshoot their destination and would arrive at some dead end by Chesapeake Bay."

  • Greater Love, by arandomshipper (part 6): "Jane seemed to mirror the dead feeling that defined Quinn ever since waking from her coma when she first opened the door, but when she saw who it was, there was an instant transformation."

  • It Happened Another Nut (Iron Chef: The Lawndale High School Prom), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Jodie tore open the envelope. 'Lawndale High, give it up for your Prom King and Queen, Kevin Thompson and... Daria Morgendorffer?'"

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 12): "As the rhythmic sounds of Dave Brubeck and his band playing 'Take Five' resounded through the Morgendorffer living room, Elizaveta, lying down on the couch with her head on her girlfriend Angie's lap, sighed contentedly as the two girls enjoyed the night alone at the Morgendorffer house."

  • That Summer, by Princess_Pasta (parts 3 - 5): "The last place Stacy wants to be is cooped up in the car with her parents. She stares out the window as her Dad's Honda breezes down the highway, thinking about why Garrett has suddenly decided to visit." (Part 4) (Part 5)

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 121): "'I really can't stand this,' Karen said. 'I think you look wonderful,' Fran said. Karen wore a lightweight blue prom dress that laced up in the back with a princess-seamed bodice and shoulder straps. 'I look ridiculous,' she said."

Monday, May 7, 2018

No One's Crying For Her

Ms. Li is wishing a happy birthday to Eva Peron, who was born on this day in 1919. I'm sure Ms. Li would love to be in charge of an entire country as the Perons were, but I think she'd have some trouble installing the metal detectors. She might have to settle for having someone write a musical about her instead.

If you've been meaning to take a trip to Argentina (or any other country) then good news! Today is also National Tourism Day, so drop everything and hop a plane right now! You wouldn't want to disappoint whomever made up this holiday, would you?

Fandom News!

Saturday, May 5, 2018

Comic Books and Cocktails

Here we see a rare image of Kevin reading something, but only because today is Free Comic Book Day. Knowing Kevin, though, he probably paid for that comic book.

Today is also Cinco de Mayo, which--like St. Patrick's Day--is apparently only a big deal in the United States because it's an excuse to drink heavily. So today is really just another typical day for Kevin all around, I guess.

Fanfic Update!
  • Beyond The Pain, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'I have a question for you - Esper Prime,' Hector said. 'If you're still so benevolently handing out life advice.'" (Part 2)

  • The Coming Of The Cynic (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "We see that there are more cars than just Jake's Lincoln and Helen's Prius. In front of the house are also Quinn's red Impala, a silver Camaro SS that belongs to Stacy, and other cars that we don't recognize."

  • Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Smijey and Brother Grimace (parts 6 and 7): "'You know, it's funny.' Janice opened one eye, looked at the clock -- two in the morning -- and turned her head just enough to look over at Daria, on the other side of the bed. 'What's funny?'" (Part 7 by Brother Grimace)

  • Daria at USAES, by Roentgen (part 4): "Daria could not believe that she had been at USAES for three weeks. The days had been routine, but at least they offered some comfort."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (parts 38 and 39): "The Morgendorffers pulled away from the curb, turned left, then right, then turned left again and onto the main highway leading out of town. There was a sort of finality to this visit, and Daria wondered if she'd ever see Coalton again." (Part 39)

  • Depth Takes A Sale (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'The problem? Ever since Christmas and Halloween left, the social order has gone totally haywire.'"

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 15): "'Well, what do we got so far?' asked Jane. The two were in the public library researching the kind of mythology that was appropriate to the situation they were in."

  • Heather's Club (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It had been about a month or so since she had forged that note for Sandi and her little circle of friends, a month or so since she had found herself being drafted to be part of Sandi's cult of shallowness."

  • Plans For Senior Prom, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Both Julia and Karen groaned as a smoothie cup was sat on the lunch table before them."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (parts 10 and 11): "'Another day at Lawndale High.' Angie gasped as she gave her girlfriend seated next to her in the car a kiss." (Part 11)

  • That Summer, by Princess_Pasta (parts 1 and 2): "A nasty tumble from her bike leads to her being rescued by an angel. She's not a real angel, of course; it's Quinn's older sister, Daria." (Part 2)

Thursday, May 3, 2018

A Princely Reading Choice

Daria's reading Niccolo Machiavelli's most famous work in honor of the anniversary of his birth on this day in 1469. Either that or Tom was right in "Fire!" and she really is planning on taking over a country, which is probably a wiser course of action than what she did instead--at least in Jane's opinion.

Also on this day in 1999, Daria made a small cameo on a T-shirt in a Luann comic strip. I'm sure it was her proudest moment.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, May 1, 2018

She Looks a Bit Honked Off About Something

Daria's equipped with a book (as usual) and a bird (admittedly less usual) for Mother Goose Day! We can probably expect a few more twists on old fairy tales, especially if the Gupty kids have anything to say about it.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Interview, by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Daria sat on the couch, trying to control her emotions. Apprehension, excitement and hope all struggled inside her, each momentarily having an upper hand."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 9): "'Look at this way, Elizaveta.' Angie grinned as the two girls boarded the school bus. 'Yeah...we're gonna be trapped in a bus for a few hours, but we'll get to hang out at the mall and skip classes for the day.'"

  • Strange Uncle (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Helen, Jake, Daria, Quinn and Jim sitting at the table having dinner. Storm, Quinn and Jim's dog, is begging for food. Jake gives him a piece off of the table. Jake: Here you go, boy."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 120): "It was 4:10 am. Someone was knocking on the door to the unit that Sandi Griffin and Quinn Morgendorffer shared. 'Grr,' Sandi said, shoving the pillow over her head as if she wanted to strangle herself."

Sunday, April 29, 2018

No Slow Dancing for Quinn; It's Only the Fourth Date!

Jane, always ready to try out a new form of artistic expression, is cutting a rug for International Dance Day. I'm sure other Lawndale residents are getting into the spirit, such as Jake doing that victory jig with a squirrel skin cap on his head or Robert dancing like a big geek or Daria...well, Daria prefers to dance on the inside.

Fandom News!

Friday, April 27, 2018

Don't Worry, Arbor Day, Your Sandals Aren't That Bad!

Happy Arbor Day! It's a great holiday for all the tree-huggers out there, although it might be better if you planted it instead. Better a tree than a crutch, anyway!

Today is also Tell a Story Day, so if you know any good stories about trees then today is the perfect day to tell them. If you prefer, you could tell a story about Cinderella's clunky silver and gold dress or the witch who ate Hansel and Gretel, because if there's one thing Daria characters love, it's telling warped versions of fairy tales.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Charles RB (part 5): "'I have two econ problem sets and a paper on Kerouac that I have to get to the delivery guy by 9:00 P.M.... and then, I quit.' 'But you're just getting started.' 'I already feel burned out on college and I'm still in high school.'"

  • An Experemantal School (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "'Hello, the newcomers. It's me, the student council president Daria Morgendorffer. Some months ago, we had some problems with the budget leaks, but now everything is OK and we are a part of a big federal experiment, sponsored by some TNC."

  • Greater Love, by arandomshipper (part 5): "Some rules jump right past stupid into inane, Quinn thought, as she was forced to use a wheelchair to leave the hospital for absolutely no reason."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 8): "As she read the morning paper over the breakfast table, Helen shook her head, 'They're closing down the coffeehouse? Extreme right-wing elements?'"

  • Skeletons (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "We see Sandi and Quinn catching up over coffee. Sandi seems unusually happy. Sandi: even though I have an AA I can't find a job. It sucks that I have to keep stripping." (Part 2)

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2 - "Spring Ball"), by Roentgen (part 119): "Hector Turco adjusted his 'cover', the cap that every cadet at USAES wore. He was wearing his Class A uniform. Blue jacket with brass buttons, white gloves, 'Marine Style' insignia (adjusted to USAES rank, wearing two gold chevrons over a red field with no rocker as if he were some imaginary Corporal First Class), dark blue slacks with red trim. It would be the same uniform he'd wear on the parade ground on the second day of June."

Wednesday, April 25, 2018

Happy Administrative Penguins' Day!

It's World Penguin Day, and Sandi is (as usual) dressed for the occasion. If you don't know why this holiday matters to Daria fandom, then I envy you your innocence.

Today is also Administrative Professionals' Day, also known as Secretaries' Day or Admin Day. Whichever you call it, for Marianne it's a fifty cent card from the drugstore and the exact same crushing workload as every other day.

Fandom News!

Monday, April 23, 2018

Two Holidays For Brains

Mack is gleefully observing World Laboratory Day, and I assume he's concocting some kind of potion that will prevent Kevin from calling him anything but "Mack." Future Daria will probably celebrate with another double shift at the gene splicing lab.

Today is also a holiday that should be relevant to all Daria fans, World Book Day. I hope I don't have to explain how best to celebrate this one.

Fanfic Update!
  • The Answer, My Friend, is Blowing Something Up (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Helen and Jake looked at each other, beaming as they shared the happiest moment of their lives: their wedding day. Out loud, they recited in unison, 'Under an open sky and upon sacred ground, I acknowledge the oneness of the universe. May the cosmic forces bless our union and make it a journey of enlightenment.'"

  • Cuckoos On Infinite Earths: Who's That Girl?, by Charles RB, Brother Grimace, and Roentgen (parts 1 - 4): "Years ago, the multiverse burned. Four hundred and eighty three realities were snuffed out, twice that number decimated, a thousand left in disarray by 'minor' disruption or dimensional aftershocks, and the watchmen for reality were slaughtered in their multitudes - Judith was not called 'Worldburner' for nothing." (Part 2 by Brother Grimace) (Part 3 by Roentgen) (Part 4 by Charles RB)

  • Dog Whistle (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'So what is it you want to show me?' Tom loaded up the video with a grin akin to a crocodile who spies Captain Hook taking a swim."

  • The Emasculation of Jim Carbone (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn is seated behind her desk meeting with a prospective client. The client is a handsome man in his early forties. He has slicked back dark hair, a chisled face and a perfectly slender build and wears a nice business suit. Something about him makes Quinn uncomfortable, however." (Part 2)

  • Smash & Grab, by Erin M. (part 2): "This file will serve as my personal encrypted notes for the undertaking which Sunset Shimmer has brought to us. As I've documented elsewhere, when we all met in high school, magic from the other dimensional land of Equestrian had leaked through to our world, causing a variety of issues and problems."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries : Thread #2), by Brother Grimace (parts 117 and 118): "'So, how much are your families worth?' Julia and Zoey, food in their mouths, stopped in mid-chew at Quinn's question; beside her, Sandi rolled her eyes (even though she was also curious about the answer)." (Part 118)

Saturday, April 21, 2018

Back to Square One

Young Daria and Quinn are happy (or not) to announce that today is Kindergarten Day. Quinn is thrilled because the academic standards are far more in line with her current abilities while Daria is dismayed to find she now has to endure far more years of school before graduation.

Today is also Husband Appreciation Day, so the wives on Daria should be extra sure to appreciate the fine husbands like Andrew Lan--er, no...Steve Tayl--yikes, know what? I think Helen really did pick a winner after all.

Fandom News!

Thursday, April 19, 2018

Like A Cynic Needs a Bicycle

Daria's gotten into the spirit of Bicycle Day, but I think someone should tell her that the holiday actually relates to LSD. After her experiences watching her family on glitterberries, I have a feeling she'd rather stick with the bike.

Fanfic Update!
  • College Bored But In An 80s Way (Iron Chef: 1980's Daria), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Turner stood proud, austere, leafy; a symbol of grand educational achievement until a student ran naked down the quad yelling 'DELTA DELTA' right in the middle of Andrew Landon's big speech on how in college, you could find yourself."

  • Daria at USAES (formerly First Day at School), by Roentgen (part 3): "It was coming to the end of the second week of Foal Summer. In two more weeks, the regular cadets would be back from summer break and ready to resume their work (no one called it 'their studies') at the Axe. In two weeks after that, it would be Sprout boards."

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 14): "'Daria, pardon my French, but what the hell did you just say?' demanded Helen. 'I dropped out of college,' Daria went inside and sat down on a couch."

  • Meetings, by Princess_Pasta (part 5): "Charlie woke to the blinding light of the sun, his legs choked by the pink blanket he was tangled in. The fog of sleep still hung over him and he lied there, stretching one leg and then the other, until he could feel pinpricks creeping up to his knees."

  • Reflections, by Lady Evil (part 15): "At Lambert Hall, a man and woman were on stage singing the title song from Phantom of the Opera. A lighting effect caused a dappled pattern to shimmer on stage. 'Sing, my Angel of Music!' the man commanded."

  • Scenes, by JPAGC (parts 1 and 2): "The phone rang twice before Daria got it. 'Hello?' 'Daria? It's me. I'm sorry, sweetie, but I'm going to have to stay late in the office.'" (Part 2)

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 7): "'Thanks Mrs. Harmon...' Elizaveta said from the back seat of the sedan carrying her and her friend Angie being driven by Angie's mother, '...for letting me go with you and Angie to tour Lawndale State.'"

  • Smash & Grab, by Erin M. (part 1): "'Ladies and gentlemen,' the tuxedo clad MC announced smoothly into the microphone. 'On behalf of The Rich Foundation and our generous benefactor, Mr. Filthy Rich and his family...'"

  • A Sudden Attack of Conscience, by David Falkayn (COMPLETE!): "Leaning back in her high-backed office chair, Angela Li grunted as she stretched. 'Too much work...not enough sleep...and only a week until graduation...' The principal of Lawndale High groused as she got up and poured a cup of coffee. 'And not one word of thanks for all I do!'"

  • Then There Was Us, by EyeMidnight (parts 3 - 5): "'Show's on,' I tell Jane. 'And now, back to Sick, Sad World,' the announcer said. 'This is just astounding! Here you are, blind, deaf, and barely able to walk, yet you conducted simultaneous affairs with three members of the Royal Family! The question on all of America's mind is: how did you do it?'" (Part 4) (Part 5)

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries : Thread #2), by Roentgen (part 116): "At 12:13 am, Quinn Morgendorffer's phone began to ring. She opened her eyes, and checked it. There was no flashing circle-and-ribbon logo, so she knew she didn't have to squeeze into the Legion uniform she kept at her bedside."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "INT. A room in a high school, resembling a mad scientist's laboratory, Kevin is tied in a thing, looking like as a test bench, equipped with multiple cables. Also, there are Daria, Jodie, and Ted in the room. They are wearing an unisex uniform, including black leather jackets, tight grey leggings, and knee-boots, badges with numbers and rubber night sticks complete the picture."

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

A Holiday That's Full of Guano

Jane is fully appreciating bats on Bat Appreciation Day, but for the rest of us I think the cosplay is optional. I think I'll just settle for sleeping upside-down and spreading rabies.

Today is also the anniversary of the birth of Isak Dinesen in 1885, which is notable because her novels apparently inspired the Taylors' family den. I seriously doubt any of the Taylors have even heard of Dinesen, but then I strongly suspect Upchuck was making the whole thing up anyway.

Fandom News!

Monday, April 16, 2018

The Return of the Dariawiki

Charles RB reports that the Dariawiki is no longer giving any security certificate warnings on Firefox or Chrome. Because Malwarebytes is giving "hijack" alerts during login, anyone logging in should make sure their antivirus and anti-spyware is ready. However, browsing should now be safe.

Sunday, April 15, 2018

Watch Out for Icebergs!

Mr. O'Neill is making an ill-adviced choice to celebrate Titanic Remembrance Day with DeeDee. Judging by Ms. Barch's expression I'd say he's going to regret that decision any moment now.

Jane will be pleased to know that today is also not only World Art Day but the anniversary of Leonardo da Vinci's (not DiCaprio's) birth in 1452, as well. Doesn't get much better than that for art geeks!

Fanfic Update!
  • Dian Fossey Award (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "'And now, people, and now... and now, awards time!' Ms. Li let the suspense build among the Lawndale High graduates, family and chums."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 23): "Back out on the street, Helen and HJ chose to spend their time on Diagon Alley admiring the buildings and people-watching. Helen thought that the architecture looked very old-fashioned and probably wouldn't last a week even in history-conscious Britain if they were outside this wizarding enclave."

  • Legion of Highland Heroes (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Buford "Butt-Head" Head/Coolman: Localised probability powers, erratically controlled; when properly working, prevents any short-range threat against the Legion from working."

  • Meetings, by Princess_Pasta (part 4): "The last place Sandi expected to spend her Thursday afternoon was stuck inside of one of the student study lounges with nothing for company but her algebra textbook and her pencil case. Well, and Charlie."

  • Return of the Misery Chick (Quinn, Season 4), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "A now 25 year old Quinn seated at her vanity while a now fully grown Storm is laying next to her seat on the floor. Quinn is writing in her diary. As she writes..." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 6): "'Don't forget, Marianne!' Helen commanded as she spoke to her secretary on the phone, 'I need those depositions completed and ready to be filed tomorrow morning.'"

  • Skeletons, by CaffeineAddict94 (part 8): "Trent strummed out a melancholy tune on his acoustic guitar, letting his mind wander as he played. It had been years since he'd written anything for his own personal use."

Friday, April 13, 2018

Have a Spooky Scrabble Day!

Daria's going for a high score on Scrabble Day! While she didn't hit a triple word score she just might win her freedom from arbitrary parental punishments.

I hope she's not superstitious, though--today being Friday the 13th could mean bad luck for her Get Out of Jail Free plan. On the other hand, she could try playing "triskaidekaphobia" and really impress her opponents.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, April 11, 2018

The Brawling Barbershop

The three Js are short by one for Barbershop Quartet Day, but I'm sure that won't stop them from serenading Quinn...whether she wants them to or not. I wouldn't worry about the quality of their singing too much, though--I doubt they'll get through even one verse without breaking down into a fistfight.

Today is also National Pet Day, so let's hear it for all the pets from Daria, most of whom never actually appeared onscreen! Seriously, Zachary and Taylor from the Lane house, Sandi's cat Fluffy...aside from Leary and Mr. Whiskers, it's like all the Lawndale pets have gone into hiding. Then again, with Brian Taylor on the loose I suppose you can't blame them.

Fanfic Update!
  • Barfly Advice (IC: Random Pairing Challenge 2018), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "And so it came to pass in the year 2002 that Mystik Spiral performed a new song for just seven people, at 2AM. Last week, it had been nine people and Trent was suspicious that one of them had passed out and thus didn't count."

  • Blind Ambition, by David Falkayn (COMPLETE!): "USS Hornet. As she read the orders assigning her to the Excelsior-class starship under its near-legendary captain, Kal Daval of Efrosia, Ensign Elizabeth Shelby, newly graduated in the top one percent of her class, grinned delightedly as she turned to her friend and roommate, Ensign Jadzia Idaris. 'I got it, Jadz!' The young blonde exulted, 'The Hornet!'"

  • Daria, Buzzed Up and Sold Out?, by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "'Daria,' Mom lifted her eyes from the screen after reading my online resume. 'How do you expect to land a job if you don't take things seriously?' 'I took it very seriously, Mom,' I pleaded. 'Notice I even included my sentence as fashion editor in Highland.'"

  • Daria M. Banks - "Bad Guy" cover (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "(Daria M. Banks walks down Lawndale High's hallway, pursued by a faded version of herself - as it walks, the figure's clothes shift sometimes into a red cloak over a black catsuit, or a purple jacket over grey shirt, but always returning to Daria's own. The beat begins.)"

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 37): "Jake, Helen, and their two younger daughters were waiting at the museum's gift shop. Daria had drifted off somewhere. Jake wondered how she'd managed to do that even in someplace as small as the county mining museum, but she'd done it."

  • Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 1): "The seat was not all that comfortable. Daria looked at the back of the seat in front of her. The display showed the date – December 6, 2043. It all seemed a little surreal."

  • First Day at School, by Roentgen (part 2): "The Monday morning was immediately interrupted with the call of reveille. Loud, omnipresent, and obnoxious. It was 0600 hours. Daria and Jane, utterly exhausted, were jolted back into life again. 'Gaaaah,' was Daria's only response. Jane just moaned and shoved the pillow over her head."

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (parts 4 and 5): "As Elizaveta slept, she dreamed. Her dreams an incoherent jumble except for one image—that of a beautiful dark-haired woman with a wicked grin and what looked like spots on either side of her neck." (Part 5)

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by Waylander (part 23): "The elusive juggler was nowhere to be found, and Darlene decided to leave the circus. She wanted to visit the smithy to look for something stronger than his current clothes, or a better weapon."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries : Thread #2), by Roentgen (part 115): "Tom Sloane sat alone at a picnic table eating a barbecue sausage. He had to admit that it was a damned good barbecue sausage. Of course, since David Allen Farrington had appointed himself grillmaster, there was no guarantee that he wouldn't be poisoned to death."

Monday, April 9, 2018

Dariawiki Having Issues

Charles RB would like to make sure everyone is aware that the Dariawiki is currently experiencing a security certificate issue. He recommends avoiding the site until the problem is cleared up.

A Prime Minister By Any Other Name

Jake's clearly all in for Winston Churchill Day, but it might be that he's just looking for an excuse to drink heavily. If Jake decides he doesn't like being called "Winston," he could choose something else because today is also Name Yourself Day. In his own words:

They took your identity, Daria? Then you walk away. You change your name, move to another state, get some ID. It's not too late to start over, Daria, it's not too late! You're still a young man! You don't have to live with your mistakes! Get out while you can!

I call dibs on "Esmerelda."

Fandom News!

Saturday, April 7, 2018

Beer, Models, and Toilet Paper!

Jesse's a little too into (literally) National Beer Day, but he doesn't seem to be very upset about it. In fact, I don't think we've ever seen him happier. Kevin will happily crush some beer cans on his own head in honor of the day, while Ms. Barch probably has a few choice words to say on the subject of her beer-loving ex-husband that I can't reprint here.

Today is also the anniversary of the episodes "This Year's Model" and "I Loathe a Parade," which aired on this day in 1997 and 2000. Quinn lost out on a modeling contract in one and got covered in engine exhaust in another, so it was good times all around for Daria.

Fanfic Update!
  • An Annoying Paradise, by Resop (part 7): "'You seem pretty quiet tonight.' Jane stops noisily slurping her noodles. 'I feel like an idiot.' 'I'm not touching that one.'"

  • Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 36): "Jake and Helen checked into a small motel near the city limits. It was after 9:00, but the manager was still in the office."

  • First Day of School, by Roentgen (part 1): "The first day had been humiliating. Daria just wanted to be handed a shovel, dig a six foot deep hole, dive in, and die."

  • Jane's Life's Lottery, by WellTemperedClavier (COMPLETE!): "Hard as it is to believe, life's gotten a lot better since Ms. Defoe's contest. Nothing's really changed on the surface, but the world feels lighter somehow. You paint a lot more." (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

  • Of Microwaves and Electric Keyboards, by Souless Familliar (parts 5 and 6): "A few hours had passed and it was now approaching eight-thirty. Trent had since left for work, with the spare key Helen had given him, Jake had been called into work for some emergency (something that greatly annoyed Helen, seeing as it was the Easter vacation) and Amanda had gone back to Casa Lane to grab a few of the things that the Lane Trio had left behind in their haste and to see how long it would take for them to be able to move back in." (Part 6)

  • Replay (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Esteem... a teen. They don't really rhyme, do they?' Mr. O'Neill said. 'The sounds don't quite mesh. And that, in fact, is often the case when it comes to a teen and esteem. The two just don't seem to go together. But we are here to begin realizing your actuality.'"

  • Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (parts 2 and 3): "Ignoring the bickering going on between Jake, Daria, and Quinn, Elizaveta looked out the window of the car as it pulled into the front of Lawndale High, her expression one of both anticipation and dread." (Part 3)

  • (Un)-lucky in Love (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "St. Patrick's Day couldn't believe his luck. He'd never really had much success in dating in the past, at least on Holiday Island."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries : Thread #2), by Roentgen (part 114): "'Is this thing on?' Daria said. She wanted to adjust her glasses, but she wasn't wearing any. Getting used to being out in public - unguarded - was the next real stretch of her comfort zone."

Thursday, April 5, 2018

Watch Out For Cheese Burn!

Ted seems a little worried about National Deep Dish Pizza Day. Perhaps someone finally told him what process they use on the cheese. I'm sure Daria and Jane enjoy this holiday, but Quinn is still waiting for someone to create National Cheeseless Pizza Day. However you enjoy your pizza, be sure to ask them to add the extra quart of grease for maximum canon!

Fandom News!

Tuesday, April 3, 2018

Work or Party? Hmmm....

It's Don't Go to Work Unless it's Fun Day! Since work is the closest thing Helen has to fun, I suppose she's technically right on this one.

If you don't find your job as fun as Helen does, you could instead celebrate World Party Day, especially if Brittany's parents are out of town again. It's a tough decision for Daria, because either way she'll have to interact with people.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria Ravenclaw: Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 35): "They left Texas from D—FW the week after the girls' school let out. The Morgendorffer family finances had taken a pounding from first having to stay at the Hotel Aylesford during the gang war, then with the far greater expenses of moving, and after Helen and Jake compared the air fares, they found that it was cheaper to fly out of Dallas than Midland, even using long-term parking rates."

  • Deeds, Not Words, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Karen didn't try to hide the sense of slight disbelief at seeing Jane in the 'Dollar Dollar' convenience store on Dega Street in Lawndale, idly going over the sandwich items in the coolers. 'This isn't something that I thought you'd even bother doing anymore,' Karen said"

  • Gunsmoke and Mirrors, by Captain Marbles (part 1): "Two men were relaxing over whiskey at the Nineteenth Hole of the super exclusive Wildcat Links, somewhere in Maryland; and the first guy said, 'It looks bad, Roy. All these kids calling for a ban on assault weapons, and with the shooting in Florida and all the copycat shootings across the nation our popularity has never been lower—what can we do?'"

  • Is this Pink enough for you?, by 917brat (part 2): "It had been only a couple of days since the last argument had ended and since then both mother and daughter's tempers were still high. Helen because her daughter had stormed off like she had during their argument, while ignoring her calls to come back."

  • Jane Lane's surrealist escapades, by PrecambrianStudios (part 1): "Jane Lane stared up at the sky as the tornadoes bore down upon her. 'Huh, swirly,' she intoned as the vortex plucked her off the ground and hurled her above the clouds, revealing the massive, radiant stellar body surrounding the planet."

  • Jane's Life's Lottery, by WellTemperedClavier (parts 1 - 3): "1. You've been here before. It's the same whiteboard, the same fluorescent lights, and the same Mr. O'Neill reading from the same feel-good script. All around you are the familiar burnouts, screw-ups, and rejects. Your people, in other words." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • The Offpsring (Pasta's Never-Ending Ideas Thread 2), by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "Sylvia's Italian Bistro isn't on par with the fine dining experience offered by Chez Pierre but it's an affordable outing that doesn't mean choosing from the dollar menu. It's definitely good enough for a date, even if he uses that term loosely."

  • Of Microwaves and Electric Keyboards, by Souless Familliar (part 4): "As Daria headed downstairs she heard chattering coming from the kitchen as the smell of burnt pancakes wafted through the air. 'Dammit!' she heard her father cry out, before hearing her mother's voice comforting him and offering to take over."

  • Paradigm Shifty (Iron Chef: 1980's Daria), by Charles RB (parts 1 and 2): "'Now Daria, I know it's a challenge having to start a new school--' 'Did we move?' Daria looked out the window. 'False alarm, Dad, we're still here.' 'Daria.'" (Part 2)

  • Second Chance at Love, by DavidFalkayn (part 1): "'No! I won't let you!' Captain Elizabeth Shelby shouted as she saw both her grandparents' life forces being drained by the pa-wraith better known as the Blood Wraith."

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries : Thread #2), by Roentgen (part 113): "'You know,' Karen said, 'this is the first time I've looked forward to going to Lawndale High in a long time.' 'Why?' Quinn asked. 'Seeing as how next week is the start of that SPORE thing?' Karen said. 'Given that I had to take shit from Julia about how my solution didn't work out?'"

Sunday, April 1, 2018

The King of Jibber Jabber

Mr. O'Neill is the perfect person for today's April Fool's Day post, especially because the joke is on him: he thinks he pities the fools, but he's the real fool and no one pities him at all.

Normally I'd remind everyone that we're still waiting on that takeover by our material possessions that was supposed to occur on this day in 2007 (according to Jane), but when I think about smart devices, self-driving cars, and internet bots, I'm not so sure it hasn't happened after all.

Finally, happy Easter to everyone who celebrates it!

Fandom News!

Friday, March 30, 2018

A Very Popular Day to Be Born!

Looking at that missing ear, Jake's just a bit too in character for the anniversary of Vincent van Gogh's birth on this day in 1853. I bet Jane can appreciate it, as well as this also being Francisco de Goya's birthday. Jake I could see being more of a Bob Ross fan.

Let's not leave Daria out of this, though. Anna Sewell, author of Black Beauty, was also born on this day in 1820.

Fanfic Update!
  • Are We There Yet?, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Zoom in on the city. Cut to the Piazza di Signora and we find Quinn, Jim, Daria, Jane, Jake, Helen, Trent, Lindy and Sandi standing in front of Palazzo Vecchio, which is Florence's city hall. They are visibly impressed by the architecture around them." (Part 18)

  • Daria Ravenclaw: Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (parts 33 and 34): "Daria wondered if the powers-that-be would dare let third-graders go out on another field trip after the Petroleum Museum debacle. She was pleased to see that they hadn't." (Part 34)

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 22): "The next day was Sunday. The Goblins being Goblins, and most if not all of Gringott's human staff being pagans or non-believers, the Christian Sabbath was ignored. The conference formally ended on Sunday in mid-afternoon."

Wednesday, March 28, 2018

It's Gotta Be April 20th Somewhere!

Trent is obviously on board for celebrating Weed Appreciation Day, and if you don't tell him that the holiday is about garden weeds then I won't, either. Who'd have the heart to bring him down? I don't think I've ever seen him look so happy.

Fandom News!

Monday, March 26, 2018

That's TYLER, not TAYLOR!

Sandi's using her big mouth to good effect as Steven Tyler, who turns 70 today. I can only imagine what the rest of the Fashion Club will say about those striped bell-bottoms, but I suspect it will end with an involuntary sabtical--sabbactical--vacation from her duties.

This is also the anniversary of the first airing of the episode "Lucky Strike" on this day in 2001. Quinn admitted Daria was her sister, Mr. DeMartino finally scored a victory over Ms. Li, and Trent discovered Mr. O'Neill's hidden musical talents. It was a groundbreaking episode all around!

Fanfic Update!
  • Are We There Yet?, by WildDogJJ (part 14 - 16): "Daria, Jane, Quinn, Helen, Sandi and Lindy were engaging in small talk and laughter. Lindy: So you were stuck on a ferris wheel listening to one of Stacy's crying fits? Jane: Yep. Most annoying carnival ride ever. Daria: At least we were spared the riot in the auditorium." (Part 15) (Part 16)

  • Brand New Day, by fringeperson (COMPLETE!): "Trent was surprised when, in response to Mr DeMartino asking if any of them could summarise the doctrine of Manifest Destiny, someone in the class actually raised their hand."

  • Daria/Power Rangers: Watching the Watchmen, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "When Daria woke up, it was sixteen hours later and she was in a hospital guarded by a faceless grey suit with a machine gun. 'This may be a terrible time to mention I have no insurance.'" (Part 18)

  • Jane Moves In (IC: Random Pairing Challenge 2018), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "'Duck!' Jane heard the command, cringed and turned an instant before the spinning red disc sliced off her left ear."

Saturday, March 24, 2018


Upchuck's brushing off the old magic act for the anniversary of Harry Houdini's birth on this day in 1874. I don't think Upchuck's quite got Houdini's skills, but I expect they do have a few things in common. For example, both probably know what it's like to get punched in the stomach and both are used to having people ask them to disappear.

Today is also the anniversary of both "Cafe Disaffecto" and The Lost Girls," which aired on this day in 1997 and 1999. The former introduced us to Melody Powers and the latter gave us Val (as in Val). I know which one I prefer.

Fandom News!

Thursday, March 22, 2018

This Holiday is All Wet!

That guy who doesn't get an actual name on the show but is apparently important enough to get his own alter ego is just letting everyone know that today is World Water Day! To observe the holiday, you could take a cruise on the Princess Fairy or lose weight by swimming laps while Quinn calls you a cow. If those ideas don't appeal to you, just drink a glass of water, I guess.

Fanfic Update!
  • An Annoying Paradise - Daria, by Resop (part 6): "'Oh my god, Quinn, I have the same outfit that you're wearing. If you had told me, I could have worn it and we could have been twins ...' Stacy continues with mindless chatter until ..."

  • Are We There Yet?, by WildDogJJ (parts 11 - 13): "Daria and Jane are standing in front of one of the palace guards. Daria: You know he's not allowed to talk or move while at his post. Jane: You mean I can make obscene gestures and verbally abuse him and he'll just have to stand there and take it?" (Part 12) (Part 13)

  • Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 13): "'None of you will leave this place alive,' promised Eric, now revealed to be the Persian demon Azi Dahaka. Amy took out her gun and pointed it at him."

  • Harry Potter Morgendorffer, by Meester_Lee (part 21): "Helen and HJ left the conference site in a mixed company of Goblins and magical humans, along with one of the few hags that had not only discovered that being law-abiding paid better, but had somehow managed to become a successfully book keeper."

  • Search Engine Obfuscation, by WellTemperedClavier (COMPLETE!): "By the time she got home, Daria realized that she needed to talk to someone. Twice, she selected Jane's name from his miniscule contacts list, her finger hovering over the talk button. Twice she changed her mind." (Part 12) (Part 13)

Tuesday, March 20, 2018

A Day for Alien Farmers

Daria has pulled out all the stops in honor of National Agriculture Day, but I think it would have been fine if she'd just picked some tomatoes or something. If Trent realized his dream of becoming a farmer who's paid not to grow crops, he's probably celebrating, too. And by "celebrating," I mean "sleeping."

It's also appropriate that Daria has apparently been turned into a crop circle, because today is Extraterrestrial Abductions Day. Artie had better watch out, just in case those alien love goddesses decide to come back for a return visit.

Fandom News!

Sunday, March 18, 2018

Ground Control to Major Jodie

Jodie is recreating the first spacewalk from this day in 1965 for, I don't know, Spacewalk Club or something. Anything for one more activity to go on the college applications, unless she's just doing this to finally put some real distance between herself and her parents. In that case, I wish her the best of luck! By the way, if you don't tell her she's holding the wrong flag, I won't, either.

Fanfic Update!
  • Are We There Yet?, by WildDogJJ (parts 1 - 3): "Quinn is seated behind her desk meeting with a client. The client is a balding but otherwise good looking middle aged man named Sullivan. His business is a travel agency. Sullivan: Miss Morgendorffer, that suggestion to move my business online was a stroke of genius. My business it up 98% since went up." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Clash of the Families (Quinn, Season 3), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jake and Helen's relaxing evening has just been interrupted by the arrival of her sister, Rita, and her mother, Emma. 'Mom, Rita this is a surprise!'" (Part 3)

  • Equal Fights 2: Out-Trump-Ed, by DocForbin (COMPLETE!): "(We see something akin to the old Cartoon Network 'Cartoon Cartoons' opening sequence except instead of the Cartoon Network logo, we see the Mark Zero Fan Fiction Unlimited logo, which zooms out as we see the words "Exclusive Creations" materialize, then we see Bubbles' head pop out of the "O" in "Creations".)"

  • Search Engine Obfuscation, by WellTemperedClavier (parts 7 - 10): "Daria awoke to the worst headache of her life. It was a headache that had somehow spread to her entire body. Every bone and organ groaned in protest as she cracked open her eyes, the dim light as bright as the surface of the sun." (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10)

  • Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries : Thread #2), by Roentgen (part 112): "As the Legionnaires entered the Virtual Reality Training Room, Karen tugged at the collar around her neck. 'This feels like a leash,' she said. 'What are with these things?'"

Friday, March 16, 2018

That Was Waaaaaay Back Then

It's another Morgendorffer/Yeager reunion in honor of the episode "That Was Then, This is Dumb," which first aired on this day in 1998. That means the original get-together was exactly twenty years ago, and it's been about fifty years since Helen and Jake left the commune. Any thoughts on what might be going on with the Yeagers now? Have they embraced the capitalist lifestyle at last? Has Ethan finally rebelled against their philosophy? What number Leary are they on now?

Fandom News!