Ka-Ching!

Happy Be a Millionaire Day! What are you waiting for? Go be a millionaire already! It's not like it's hard or anything. The Sloane family highly recommends cheaping out by going to the same place for vacation all the time. Oh, and insider trading.

Fanfic Update!

• Almost Like Depth, by SacredDust (part 2): "Whoever said 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' clearly had not sprouted from the Lane family tree. A series of unfortunate events had brought Jane's benignly neglectful parents and fractured siblings back to the Lane home all at once. Much like the family renunion last year, this left both her and Trent with only one option: escape."


• ARC Ch.6 Drowned in a cappuccino, by ST91 (part 7): "'So ready for the big night ?' asked Charles. 'Yep.' Replied Andrea. 'I am trembling with emotion.' Joked Daria."


• Caught (Iron Chef: Random Love Triangle Challenge!), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Dear Tom, I want you to know that I won't forget what happened between us. What we had was something that I would never trade for anything."


• Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal', by Shiva (parts 10.5 and 11): "'Due to an unforeseen glitch the previous computer skipped Chapter 28. You aren't required to read it due to this, but you may read it if you wish.'" (Part 11)


• Death Comes to Lawndale, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 25 and 26): "'Man, this is one of the nastiest roads I've ever seen,' Ethan Yeager commented as his father carefully maneuvered down a twisting highway that had been carved out of the mountainside." (Part 26)


• Depths of Shallowness, by SacredDust (parts 6 - 8): "I just really wanted to do something with her before she moved out and that turned into wanting to make her up and that turned into hugging her and that turned into...something special." (Part 7) (Part 8)


• Dylan, by J-D (part 20a): "'Her name's Tess McCain-Palin, and she only started at Lawndale High recently. Before that she was only taught by her parents at home. She's attracted a lot of attention from some other girls here. They keep telling her how interesting she is and how great it is that she's come to Lawndale High, but I think she's having some trouble coping with the social dynamic of high school.'"


• Ex Ex, by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "'Daria I need you to... who the hell is this skank?' 'Quinn haven't you ever heard of knocking?'"


• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (part 140): "Daria would never admit it - but yes, it would be sweet to actually do something that could help Fielding Girls Swim win a championship. It would - almost - make all the trouble and pain caused by Fielding Swim worth it."


• I Loathe a Pay-Per-View, by SacredDust (part 4): "Barch: 'Oh, get out from under the desk, Tim! You're not wrestling him.' O'Neill: 'I w-wouldn't want to b-be one of his opponents tonight, either...' Barch: 'If you guys haven't heard enough yakking yet, here's some more from a strong, independent woman. Let's take you backstage again while this ninny recovers.'"


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 11: Wilderness Adverturers, by Hyrin (part 3): "She felt a smile form on her face as she took in the beauty of the world around her, barely even noticing as one of the stars fell from the sky and crushed the tent that Jake was in. Confusion set in as another fell, crushing the girls' tent into a mess of fabric and metal."


• Of All The People That Won't Be Missed, by LongSnakeMoan (part 2): "'You know I'm askin' you to marry me? I got you a ring, and a veil and something old and blue and all that? Will you marry me Jane?'"


• The Punk and the Snark, by Shiva (part 9): "The next day at school Daria was often seen grabbing at something around her neck, but since it was hidden inside her thick green coat no one was sure what it was. In fact most people didn't know there was anything there at all and just assumed that the weird chick was doing something weird and dismissed it out of hand."


• The Sickest Thing I've Written on a Sunday (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "As the crowd cheered and Amelia smiled, Daria sighed and took the stage, roughly pushing Skip aside. He was about to cry out in protest, but faltered when he noticed the various steely gazes being directed toward him."


• Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (parts 1 and 2): "Ok so I find myself in some shit bar in Peasant Town with shittier music, but you know what? There's booze and some hot chicks, so it's all good." (Part 2)


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'Jane, I didn't expect to se........are you okay? Do you need a doctor?' 'I'm fine Tom,' she replied, leaning against the dresser, a deep red liquid splattered across her clothes. 'It's not my blood.'"


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'........Wow,' said Tom. 'We REALLY shouldn't have done that.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Daria opened her eyes and sat up in bed, fumbling around for her glasses. Her whole body ached. 'Ugh,' she said. 'Urgh,' a familiar voice answered next to her. 'God, Jane. What did we DO last night?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Daria!' Helen moaned as she walked out of the police station with her eldest, 'I can't believe that I had to pay bail since you got yourself arrested for spanking a cop! What do you have to say for yourself?!'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "This certainly wasn't what should have happened."


• Upchuck-Chan (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'I can't believe I've got all these h8ers!' Upchuck yelled at his computer screen while cramming more McDonalds into his mouth."


• Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 14): "After eating breakfast with his friends and all five members of Mystik Spiral, Victor managed to reach the bathroom first and had a quick shower and a change of clothes. He made sure that the old ones were stuffed firmly into his overnight bag, to be washed when neither Quinn or Daria were in the laundry room."


• A Year Into Your Future (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'And we're talking to the newly elected Governor of Maryland, Kevin Thompson--' 'I'm the Gee-Em!'"

"Is that a...? Could that really be a...? Ewww!"

Today is International Museum Day, so this is your big chance to visit the Museum of Medical Oddities. Jake did...and like the postcard says, is now wishing he hadn't. But really, where else are you going to find a high-quality skull crusher?

It's also Visit Your Relatives Day, and if you leave right now you might be able to make it for the family croquet tournament! Clack...clack.

Fandom News!

• Celebrate the fiftieth anniversary of Faith 7.


• Share news and thoughts about the train crash in Connecticut.


• Talk about your random Daria thoughts and questions in a new thread.


• See the trailer and discuss the new TV show Agents of SHIELD.


• When have cartoons gotten it right? Talk about your favorite moments.

Let Them Eat Wedding Cake!

Happy anniversary to Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI, who were married on this day in 1770. I'm sure their marriage was nothing but joy and delight. Quinn, of course, focuses on the important stuff:

Quinn: Did Marie Antoinette really have the champagne glasses molded after her...you know?

David: We really should be focusing more on the politics of the Revolution, but that's what they say. If she'd been a different body type, we'd be drinking champagne out of bowls.

Helen: David, I must say I'm quite impressed. I've never seen Quinn have so much fun studying.

Quinn: That's because in school they only teach you the really boring stuff. Mom? Dad? Did you know Marie Antoinette never said "let them eat cake"? That expression comes from a story about a princess, written by Rousseau. Right?

David: Right.

Jake: Lousy tabloids!

Fanfic Update!

• Anything For You Kid (Iron Chef: Random Love Triangle Challenge!), by Shiva (part 1): "It had been hard being a widower, but they didn't call Nathaniel A. H. Morgendorffer 'Mad Dog' for nuthin."


• ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 16.5): "Ethan's door creaked open steadily. Gage and Wehrung tiptoed in. They suppressed the urge to laugh at Ethan, who was snoring loudly in his armchair in front of his TV."


• Cats, Cast and Card (was Broken), by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "When Brian woke up the next morning he was confused, unable to remember why he felt so tired or why his arm was hurting so badly. Then he noticed the cast. Oh, yeah. Dammit."


• Daria and Jane: A Confession of a Different Sort... (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria: 'Uh Jane?' [Jane turns around] Jane: 'Yeah Daria?'"


• A Date With Quinn, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "It was odd, Duane thought. Even when Quinn got out of the house and away from her family, she didn't seem to relax much. She looked comfortable enough in his car, and if she had a problem with Cruisers she didn't bring it up. He didn't claim to understand the female mind, but there was definitely...well, something." (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Death Comes to Lawndale, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 20 - 24): "A tall woman with yellow eyes, pale complexion, and midnight-black hair stood before the Sloane siblings, holding a bundle of papers in front of her reading-glasses." (Part 21) (Part 22) (Part 23) (Part 24)


• Depths of Shallowness, by SacredDust (parts 2 - 5): "Clothes are my whole world. They make me feel safe. I never let guys touch me under them and I hate when they undress me with their eyes. What I put on is for them. What's underneath is different." (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Ex Ex (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by peetz5050 (parts 1 and 2): "'Now girls I know it's not easy for you to move to a new school in a new town so don't be surprised if it takes some people a little while to warm up to you, right Daria?' The voice of JAKE came from the front seat." (Part 2)


• Finding A New Lane, by RLobinske (part 2): "'Hi, Mr. Morgendorffer,' he said. 'Andy! How's it going?' 'Okay, I guess. Um, can you do me a favor?' 'I suppose so, what is it?' 'I need some help with my science fair project.'"


• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (part 139): "Daria hadn't spoken to Tom since before the semester started. She had scoped him out on campus, walking the Quadrangle, angling herself and planning her routes to avoid detection, usually behind some group of taller students. She had made sure that their paths never crossed, and sheer dumb luck had taken care of the rest. Now he was going to be driving right up to her doorstep."


• Is It the 41st Century Yet?, by baelparagon (part 1): "'Lady Morgendorffer, Astropath Scarlett has informed me that we will be transitioning into imperial space within the hour. Do you have any orders?' A voice voxed into the private cabin of the inquisitor. The girl who had been reading One flew over the Tyranid nest sighed, sitting up and almost punching the vox input button."


• The Legend of Cora, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "The door opened slowly creaking on its hinges. Daria and Jane had seen too many horror movies to know that this was usually the first step of getting your body stuffed in a fridge, but they heard a masculine voice call, 'Sorry, I was getting dressed! Do come in, please!'"


• Lurhmans's Crush (Iron Chef: Random Love Triangle Challenge!), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "It was late when Daria Morgendorffer, and her second cousin, Lurhman Barksdale, arrived at the Zen (or Zon, as Daria called it)."


• Mack the Esteemer, by Shiva (part 21): "Jane kept on snickering, 'Don't worry Big M. I'm making a beeline for the AV Room first thing, I plan to sell copies of the "Mocha Nightmare Riots" to our fellow morons. I mean classmates.' 'No you were right the first time.' Daria commented with a wry grin."


• The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 4, by peetz5050 (part 2b): "The coach stopped close by and a young woman garbed as a Dhanuan nun in a high wimple and dark gray worsted robe got out and approached her. 'Have I the honor of addressing the Lady Quinn?' She asked in a barely audible voice."


• Of All The People That Won't Be Missed, by LongSnakeMoan (part 1): "'Hello.' She looked up and immediately she felt her cheeks flush red. The delivery guy stood in front of the open door, piled high with Trent's crap, chewing on a piece of gum."


• Stuck in a Ruttheimer (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by SinisterExaggerator (part 2): "Brett turned from the driver's seat and smirked. 'This car is a family heirloom.' The sudden screech! of the brakes indicated to all inside that headlight had not met wall. 'But not in the "crown jewels" sort of way. More like hemophilia.'"


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'It's a funny thing, you know? I never wanted this.' Tom's remark went unanswered. Not because Upchuck lacked a response. It was just a bit difficult for a Kindred who'd been staked to do things like move or talk."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Jane's Subtraction), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'And what does six minus three equal? Miss Lane.' Ms. June asked without looking behind her as she drew basic math equations on the board."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'In order for Lawndale High School to raise money to overcome our crippling budget shortfalls,' Ms. Li announced over the loudspeaker, 'a group of selected students will be assigned to Room 243 from 12 pm to 1 pm to provide...uh...body services to high ranking businessmen, politicians, and other interested parties. We're expecting you to give your all for Lawndale High.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'I'm going to PROVE that I can be just as good as Daria,' Quinn muttered angrily as her fingers flew on the keyboard, 'Then she won't have a leg to stand on.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Gee Quinn,' Stacy cooed as she had lunch with her old High School friend, 'I'm really impressed with how well you're doing.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So what was your old town like?' Tori asked curiously. Daria laughed, 'Oh, it was a pretty nice place until things went crazy.' 'Define crazy.' Tori stated as she looked at the new popular girl."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Daria...I kissed Quinn. I wasn't thinking clearly, and I kissed her. I...' Jodie trailed off at the expression on Daria's face."


• The Vampire of the Seven Veils (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It had sucked that Jane had just upped and ditched her for some guy she just met, and with Trent and the guys blazed and expected to play another set there wasn't a ride to be had. So Daria found herself hoofing it in the middle of the night in the deserted sidewalks near Dega Street."


• Worldburner Epilog: Trip to the Beach, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Standing in front of the Ringbearer Archangel and Foundation Guide Reiko Tsereba, Agency Hypersphere Supervisor Richard said, 'Look, after all we've been through with the Judith crisis, we deserve a little break and I know a perfect, isolated beach where we won't be disturbed. We'll bring some big umbrellas, lawn chairs, some cool drinks, a few munchies and simply sit back and enjoy the atmosphere.'"

No, Kevin, not Lois and Clark

It was on this day in 1804 that Lewis and Clark set off on their famous expedition to explore the western portion of the United States. Along the way they found a guide, Sacagawea, who was probably far better at the task than Quinn would have been. Can't you picture it? "Ewwww! The trail's all muddy and it's ruining my shoes! Aren't there any shopping malls out here? And can one of you guys get me a soda? Diet with crushed ice."

Fandom News!

• Tell everyone about the times you've acted like a Daria character.


• SacredDust invites you to show us your Daria stuff!


• Meanwhile in Italy, Game of Thrones might end up canceled.


• Erin M. posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Lyrical Challenge II.

"M" is for the Migraines that She Gives Me

Happy Mother's Day! Helen has to work all day, but that's okay because Quinn has a date and Jake forgot what day it is, anyway. I'm sure Daria's been hard at work in the kitchen whipping up a tasty Mother's Day brunch, though!

Today is also the date that the Morgendorffers' calendar always seems to be stuck on. Is Lawndale in a Groundhog Day-esque time loop in which it's always May 12? Or is the family just too darn lazy to change the calendar? You make the call.

Fanfic Update!

• About to Be Used (IC: Thank God You're Here), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Thank God you're here!' Quinn yelled once the Three J's were inside the Morgendorffer's house."


• ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 16.1): "There was a knock at Ethan's door. He slowly opened it, and found all three ASPS standing before him, heads slightly bowed."


• Broken, by JoeMerl (parts 1 and 2): "Brian sometimes felt strange even remembering that he had a mother, since he only knew that on other people's word. He often suspected that they were lying to him, and that while Brittany had a mom Brian only had a dad." (Part 2)


• Daria and Jane: On Korean Men Using Makeup (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane: 'Guess what's in the news?' Daria: 'What?' Jane: 'Apparently there's a new craze in South Korea, the guys are buying makeup the way the Fashion Club does.'"


• A Date With Quinn, by SacredDust (part 1): "As Duane pulled up in front of the Morgendorffers' house, he tried to remember where the line between fantasy and reality had blurred."


• Death Comes to Lawndale, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 16 - 19): "Nate Ekard was driving towards his favorite club late at night, but at the last moment, he angrily cursed at himself and made a U-turn." (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19)


• Depths of Shallowness, by SacredDust (part 1): "It was kind of an accident. I wish I could say it was completely an accident. But that wouldn't be true."


• DW: The Many Doctors (Chapter 15), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The TARDIS materialised outside the town. 'The Old West,' the Doctor said. 'That's good. Haven't been there for a while,' Felicia said."


• Evil Invades Fielding, by Jeremy Garrett (part 4): "Key: We are back, ladies and gentlemen. In just a few short moments, we will have the gauntlet match with Evie Morgendorffer facing the Tops. And if Evie beats them all, she will get Sue Bentley in the center of the ring."


• In Deep Water (IC: Daria the Time Lord), by Roentgen (part 2): "'Class,' Mr. DeMartino said, 'I would like you to meet our new student. Bridgette Stone.'"


• Keep Up the Pace (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Daria was going to enter her parents room to ask for some dinner money, but she heard the following exchange: 'Jake, can you go a little bit faster, it's like you can't keep up.'"


• Losers No More , by Shiva (part 16): "Daria and Graham reached the bleachers and parked their butts just in time to hear Upchuck go, 'Now ladies if you're wondering how you're making the Chuckmaster feel. Why... You make me want to SHOUT!"


• Love is a Poison (Iron Chef: Random Love Triangle Challenge!), by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "'Tiffany dear thank you again for inviting me to take a cup of tea, I really needed it.' 'I imagined it Sandi, indeed plan a marriage must be very difficult and tiring.'"


• The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 4, by peetz5050 (part 2): "The maid spoke up voluntarily for the first time, tears in her eyes and a wail in her voice. 'We are all stricken with horror at what has occurred under this roof. The tragic loss of our noble Lady and her boys especially has crushed my heart. Oh! What will become of us all? What will we do? The Duke is dead! The House of Morgendorffer is in ruins!'"


• The Missing Princess, by peapotmaster (part 1): "It was a hot day in Mycroft Hills, as me, Penny Wise, and my fellow girl detectives where getting the latest issue of Girltective Comics Magazine online."


• The Popular Girl Speaks, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Hi, my name is Tori Jericho. I'm currently a Senior at Lawndale High, a few more weeks and I'll be graduating."


• Sandi For Jesus (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'LIKE, REPENT!' Sandi screamed while waving a big sign saying that the End was near, 'THE END IS, SO TOTALLY NEAR!'"


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 7): "'Doctor Morgendorffer, you told me to alert you if there were any new developments in the O'Neill case.'"


• Stuck in a Ruttheimer (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Wait,' Daria blurted out, wondering if tinnitus had kicked in yet, 'you're friends with Upchuck?'"


• The Three B's (Iron Chef: Random Love Triangle Challenge!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Jane was feeling the itch."


• Topless Day (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Topless Dayyyyyyy!' Ms. Li announced brightly as everyone tried to look away. 'Show your love for Llllllawndale Hiiiigh by going topless!"


• Unnamed story (IC: Thank God You're Here), by Dariclone2 (COMPLETE!): "Daria sighed and slumped her shoulders. It had been another rough day of classes at Raft University and all she wanted to do was get to her apartment and have a long, hot soak. She'd never realized classes would be this challenging in her second year."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'So Quinn, want to go to a movie?' Stacy asked as she desperately changed out of her now-unfashionable slip dress. To think she'd almost committed a crime like that in front of Quinn! But it was okay--she had a foolproof outfit in mind."

It's the Helen Express, Right on Schedule!

Happy anniversary to the Golden Spike, which was driven on this day in 1869 at Promontory Summit. This marked the completion of the First Transcontinental Railroad, something of interest to train fans in Daria fandom (and I know there's at least one!).

Also, happy birthday to the late film producer David O. Selznick, born on this day in 1902. Selznick produced, among other things, Gone with the Wind, which was referenced in various Daria episodes and multiple alter egos. Someone on staff must have been a big fan.

Fandom News!

• Is Quinn worse off than Daria? Share your views in a new Deep Thoughts thread.


• What misperceptions have you had about Daria in the past?


• SacredDust invites you to change the name of Mystik Spiral.


• How would you write Tom? JoeMerl wants to hear your ideas.


• Talk about the upcoming movie adaptation of Ender's Game.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: SacredDust's Random Love Triangle Challenge! and PrecambrianStudios's Daria the Time Lord.

Oh, Petty Officer Kevvy!

It's V-E Day, or Victory in Europe Day, which is the anniversary of the surrender of Nazi Germany near the end of World War II. Brittany and Kevin are celebrating that the war is over on the right...or maybe they're just celebrating that it's Wednesday.

Today is also School Nurse Day, so let's all honor Nurse Chase! But don't bother showing her that rash. She's a little squeamish.

Fanfic Update!

• Alison Wonderland (Iron Chef: Alison Wonderland!), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Painting, Jane thought. The one profession that involves willfully inhaling carcinogenic fumes. How the hell else could she have persuaded me to follow her? She found herself wearing a mopish frown as Alison led her down one of Ashfield's numerous wilderness trails."


• ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 16): "'I'd say I'm impressed, but you're just a natural freak.' Ethan turned to meet Dylan. She gave him a warm smile. 'I'm happy to see you again, Ethan.'"


• Daria+Stacy fluff, by Astrocar82 (COMPLETE!): "Stacy Rowe's spilling her diet soda all over her dress was a moment that should really only be amusing, but it turned into much more than that."


• Death Comes to Lawndale, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 13 - 15): "oh god i want to get out of here why won't they let me leave" (Part 14) (Part 15)


• Evil Invades Fielding, by Jeremy Garrett (parts 2 and 3): "(Just then, the lights return and none other than Evie Morgendorffer is staring Merritt down. The crowd loses their sh*t and starts a heavy "EVIE" chant.) Merritt: Evie Morgendorffer! What are you doi..." (Part 2)


• The Fall, by Ranger Thorne (part 6): "They turned to see the Sith looking at them. 'You are both useless. One is a mother who let her daughter be locked away for telling the truth. And the other is a child who can only hide behind those with real power. Wroth raised her hand as the Force lightning began to dance between her fingers. 'What could you possibly say that would keep me from killing you?'"


• Girl Code? (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Uh, that'll sound disturbing with what I'm going to say next. How come girls always go to the bathroom together?'"


• The Great Genderswap of Lawndale!, by Shiva (part 8): "As soon as Darius had said, 'Kerry?' the girl on the other end exclaimed, 'Darius! I'm sorry I forgot to call you last night, but me and Brint kind of got distracted...' Darius felt himself throw up a little in his mouth at that."


• In Deep Water (IC: Daria the Time Lord), by Roentgen (part 1): "The body of Daria Morgendorffer lay there, unattended and would soon be placed on blocks to begin the autopsy. Her skin looked swollen, something like a sausage. Even the eyelids had swelling, as if she had gone two rounds with a boxer before suffocating to death."


• Jackie Goes to College (Who is she?/Iron Chef: Slutty Girl), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It fell so surreal as the red brick buildings of Raft University came into the view, but as Jackie Wentworth drove the unfamiliar campus streets in her white T-Bird she couldn't help but smile. 'This is it,' she said to herself, 'This is the start of college.'"


• The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 3, by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "The Right Honorable Lady the Countess of Makteer, Tochter des Herzogs, Vicontessa di Mittenstan, the Lady Quinn Heloise Evangelina Bella Dolorosa Jakobsdottir of the Duchy of Morgendorffer was getting bored and trying desperately not to fidget."


• The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 4, by peetz5050 (part 1): "By the time they'd reached the foothills of the northern range all of their shields were much stronger and they were in a state of wary readiness that surpassed the professional mercenaries. After a brief halt to rest and water the horses Daria announced they'd be starting the real lessons on the morrow. Everyone groaned."


• The Punk and the Snark, by Shiva (part 8): "'Oh my!' Was the clever refrain that Patrick 'Pat VII' Hackney VII managed to blurt out once the shock wore off."


• Still Mental In The Morning..., by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "'Hand of god! That's how I ended up with the name "Spatula Man"!'"


• Trent-cam (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'And now...' Mr. O'Neill gushed in his faux happy voice, 'A film by Daria and Jane.' At their desks, Jane was grinning like she won the lotto, Daria however seemed bored and a tad annoyed."


• Twilight in the Dariaverse (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Oh Sandi!' Quinn cooed happily as she and the Fashion Club sat around in a circle in her room, 'You're reading Twilight!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Random Love Triangle Challenge!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Why, hello, beautiful.' Willow turned. As if from nowhere, a colorful hot air balloon had landed in her yard."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Quinn beamed and clapped her gloved hands in delight. 'Why, I thought of no bettah way to dessicate our brand new Lawndale High Tea Room than with a nice tea pahty! What, what?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Tom smiled at the email from his ex-girlfriend Daria, oh sure their breakup hadn't been the best thing in the world but hey. That's how the cookie crumbled, right? He read the title, 'Here's a fun story to read.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "It was a warm, early summer day in Lawndale. The heat was barely disturbed by a cool breeze, which slowly rocked the hammock which Charles 'Upchuck' Ruttheimer III had taken up residence."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Daria mumbled something unintelligable in her sleep. Then there was an explosion."

"Oh, the lack of humanity."

Today is the anniversary of the Hindenburg disaster in 1937, an infamous tragedy that's notable within fandom because of the poster adorning the inside of Daria's locker.

Also, happy birthday to the late Sigmund Freud, born on this day in 1856. Without Freud, we would not have psychotherapy. Without psycho therapy, we would not have "Psycho Therapy." Without that episode, we would not have gotten that awesome role-playing scene.

Today's essay question: Does Jake's milk obsession have its roots in some deep-seated trauma related to his mother? Explain.

Fandom News!

• Find out how historical figures would have looked today in the article linked in the thread.


• MartinUK shares the next leg of his trip: Buenos Aires.


• Was Bobby dangerous or just dishonest? Give your reasons in a new Deep Thoughts thread.


• Jeremy Garrett wonders if anything from real life remind you of Daria?


• Whatever happened to the American arcade? Roentgen muses about it in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: Roentgen's Things that will never come out of Stacy's mouth...EVER and Shiva's Brittany at Great Prairie State.

Put Out Fires He Will!

Happy International Firefighters' Day! I don't know about you, but Trent is probably the last person I'd rely on to put out any fires at my house. If he didn't sleep through the alarm, he'd get distracted by the flames and start working on a song while the house crumbled into ashes.

Today is also Star Wars Day, because (say it with me) May the Fourth be with you. Now everyone groan with me, too.

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Luchadore (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Now, Quinn, what do you see here?' Mrs. Manson held up a silhouetted image of two people in conversation, which Quinn was quick to point out. 'That's right. Can you make up a little story about what it is they're discussing?'"


• Creepy Things Kids Say... (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So Helen...' Linda Griffin said to her frenemy at the next barstool, 'What's the creepiest thing that your children have ever said or done?'"


• Death Comes to Lawndale, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 1 - 12): "Dammit! Amy cursed. Where the hell did I leave my glasses?"(Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12)


• Evil Invades Fielding, by Jeremy Garrett (part 1): "(Dark ambient music plays as some scratchy footage of Fielding is shown. Then a female voiceover comes in.) ???: They say the Fielding Elite Wrestling Association is one filled with tradition. And that whoever is on top stays on top."


• Glasses and Lipstick (chapter 3), by oni (part 2): "Sandi looked embarrassed as she glanced at both sisters. Quinn's frown slowly faded away as she watched as her club leader's insecurity began to seep out of her usual dominating persona. '...I want to talk to your mom.'"


• I Hate You So Much Right Now, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Miss Morgendorffer. Do you mind if I come in for a moment? I'm Lex Luthor.'"


• The Lucid One, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Quinn Morgendorffer glided into Cranberry Commons like a wandering spirit come to rest. Her brown suede shoes seemed to barely touch the gleaming floors, and the panorama of commerce before her made her heart soar."


• Mackbeth, by SinisterExaggerator (part 6): "MACKBETH: As far as I'm concerned, a captain sits. You mad, bro?"


• The Punk and the Snark, by Shiva (part 7): "After putting it off for several days through stonewalling tactics, Daria had been forced to relent and conceded to Helen's demands to meet her first official boyfriend."


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 6): "As she finished putting on her jacket, Daria looked back at Kevin's limp naked passed out body, shook her head and said: 'What a pity. Two heads and neither of them work..'"


• ST: A Tale of Temporal Gifting, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "Commander Natima Dacet was in her quarters meditating. She was thinking over the events that had occurred since the Enterprise had travelled through time. 'Oralius, guide me in this situation so that the right timeline may be restored' she thought."


• Unnamed story (IC Faceswapping), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Quinn opened her eyes in refreshed delight as the first rays of dawn pierced her bedroom window."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'It was an...interesting story, Daria,' Timothy O'Neal said, glancing up from the stapled pile of pages in his lap 'But was it really necessary to portray Mr. DeMartino as a raving berzerker of the Chaos god Khorne?'"


• Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 13): "Though Daria found herself thinking of a certain little brother and had the mental image of Jane's older brother 'watching' over him. Trent was many things, and inspired strange feelings that left her very uncomfortable. But a responsible caregiver was a bit of a stretch."


• Vivian, by ST91 (part 9): "'Because it is a lost cause, Ms. Blake. These documents are final, you have waived all rights over your children! There is no way to reverse the judgment. Now excuse me but I have to ask you to leave, soon there will be a meeting of the partners of this firm and I have to participate. Good day.' said Mrs. Davis, indicating the end of the speech and pointing to the door of her office."

"They're so cute when they smile at you. Hello, precious!"

Happy Baby Day! Celebrate by going "Goo goo!" at babies until they cry. That's Jake's plan, anyway.

Speaking of Jake, today is also the day when one of his cooking idols, Stonewall Jackson, was shot by his own men. It's not known for certain whether or not Johnny cakes were the cause or not, but I'm not about to rule it out.

Fandom News!

• Scissors MacGillicutty explains the cause of and what to do about the forbidden error at the PPMB.


• MartinUK sends his greetings from Mendoza as he begins his visit to Argentina.


• Who are your top 10 favorite characters? Share your picks in the thread.


• Why is this character a killer? Join in a new game started by SacredDust.


• breitasparrow began a thread about Disney movies in Weapons of Mass Distraction. Over-thinkers are welcome!


• Two Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: Shiva's DeMartino has Barch Arrested and Things that will never come out of Sue Bee's Mouth EVER!

Blow That Horn, Mack Daddy!

Today is International Jazz Day, and Mack is giving all he's got as the late jazz trumpeter Dizzy Gillespie. Any jazz fans out there in fandom? I know we have at least one trumpet player. Also, who on Daria do you think would be a fan of jazz?

Fanfic Update!

• Babblefish (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'So, Daria,' Jane asked, 'did you hear?' 'Always have, most likely will.' 'No, I mean--did you hear about the new exchange student?"


• Blast from the Past, by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria was watching the Blast Corps. video half-heartedly, focusing more on writing the latest Melody Powers adventure. Really, Jane had wanted to watch the video, and Daria didn't want to kick her friend out, so she got to watch the old game being played by one of its dedicated vans."


• Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal' (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by Shiva (part 10): "The group found themselves mesmerized as it reached the edge of the table and dangled precariously and then began to race around the outer edges of the table like a race car. 'I guess whoever is doing this wants our attention.' Daria muttered under her breath."


• Daria: Virtual Season 4, by peapotmaster (part 1): "QUINN Daria, can you do me a favor? DARIA Don't you ever knock? And the answer is no. QUINN I need to use your room for the next Fashion Club meeting, and..." (Second version)


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: CH 11 Broken?, by Shiva (part 2): "'Doesn't he remind you of someone?' Jane mulled that over and asked, 'Who?' 'Me.' Daria said flatly, 'Before I met you.'"


• The Fall, by Ranger Thorne (part 5): "Giles pulled the phone away to blink at it before holding it back to his ear. 'Horace Watson? Has something happened to the Council?' 'No. Well, the council has done something. I just found out that a team has been sent to terminate your Slayer.'"


• I Hate You So Much Right Now, by Brother Grimace (parts 1 - 3): "It was the smell of burning metal, fuel and overcooked meat that made Stacy's nose twitch as she regained her senses, barely seconds after the concussion of the exploding Gridrunner had tossed her across the length of the hangar..." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• I Loathe a Pay-Per-View, by SacredDust (parts 1 - 3): "Your parents are working late. Your annoying siblings are out of the house. And Pizza King is on the way. There's only one thing that could make this imaginary night better: the wrestling show you ordered on your mom's credit card. You turn on the TV, flip past Sick Sad World, and there it is..." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie (Chapter 8), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 9): "The squirrel who had taken the Emerald from the Griffin's and lost it to Tamsin arrived at the Varmittan Palace Tree after walking there rather slowly. 'I must report my failure at grabbing that emerald,' he said to the guards at the bottom of the Tree."


• Layers (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'So, Daria tells me you date quite a bit,' Tom said lightly. 'Ohhh, I don't think so," his girlfriend's sister waved a hand with transparent modesty. '...Well yeah.' He chuckled. So this was the first layer of her personality, and the only one most people ever saw. Tom wondered how deep he could go before Daria or her parents got home."


• Li's Science Substitute (IC: DeMartino has Barch Arrested), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'I don't believe this!' Li hissed through her clenched teeth as soon as the door to her office was shut with the cops safely on the other side of it's soundproofed goodness."


• The Mageborn Cynic : Daria & the School of Magic : Part 3, by peetz5050 (part 3): "Mack gave them all his most charming smile and was rewarded with friendly smiles in return. These mages were definitely his superiors in the craft and could have cold-shouldered him if they chose but the impromptu demonstration by Lady Daria at lunchtime today had shown that they all had much to learn, particularly when it came to magical defense and offense."


• The Punk and the Snark, by Shiva (part 6): "It didn't take Daria and Bob long to discover that everyone in school knew that they had gone on a date. That was because Brittany Taylor and Kevin Thompson came up to them, wearing full uniform as usual, and pretty much blurted it out like this."


• Quinn's Code 07: The Grounded Geek, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Slowly the lights flicked back on, with an addition. Two spotlights were focused on the entrance. Suddenly Cindy and Kristen entered, skating and wearing Guild Wars inspired cosplay. 'Quinn, what are you doing?' Daria asked rhetorically. 'Something that will get her into trouble no doubt,' Jennifer groused, quietly."


• Quinn's Code 08: Alternapalooza, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Cindy turned from her computer where she had been reading a game strategy site. 'Would you like to come to Alternapalooza this weekend?' she asked. Quinn looked up from her DS. 'I've heard of that. Some kind of alternative music festival?' she asked."


• Raise (IC: Thank God You're Here), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Thank God you're here,' Quinn said to Helen, who looked quite frazzled; she had just broken the speed limits on at least five roads to get from work to Quinn, who had called, saying she had an emergency."


• Suffocation, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Are you sure you want to see her, Mrs. Morgendorffer?' asked a doctor to Helen. He nervously bit his lower lip."


• Three (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "'Absolutely not,' Helen said, crossing her arms and glaring at her mother." (Three More)


• Trolling IRL (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Okay, Daria,' Jane started. 'What's with the smirk?'"


• Twin Tracks (chapter 4), by oni (part 4): "Michelle was puzzled. 'What's Sick Sad World?' Seated into a corner inside Rizzo's Pizza, the four girls made small talk while they waited for their pizza to come."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by GDTSP9 (COMPLETE!): "The phone rang. 'Who could that be?' Tom Sloane picked up the phone."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'So Doctor, what's my diagnosis?'"


• Unpopular, by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "'I've never,' Quinn her voice small, 'I wasn't ready.' 'I'll take it slow, but this is what couples do. You do want to be my girlfriend right?' he said, 'Because I really want to be your boyfriend. I've never had a girlfriend as pretty as you.'"


• Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 12): "The first thing that Victor picked up on was the smell, the Zon stunk of booze, pot, vomit, assorted other drugs, more vomit, and a certain perfume that came from never having been properly scrubbed since opening day."

It Was a Long Wait, but It Finally Happened!

It's a big anniversary for fandom: three years ago today, the first fans started receiving their Daria DVDs. The DVDs themselves may have been a little disappointing, but you can't deny that the release had a major impact: soon after, lots of new fans arrived on the scene. Hooray for the DVDs and hooray for the new faces!

Fandom News!

• Erin M. asks if anyone else keeps getting a forbidden error when they try to edit a post.


• Read MrMagnum's basement rant and share your own flooding woes.


• Who would win in a fight between.... Discuss your hypothetical character fights, starting with Helen and Ms. Li!


• SacredDust wonders what everyone thinks of the musical episode.


• Two Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: DIsaac's Things that will never come out of Jodie's Mouth... EVER and PrecambrianStudios's Ad Air.

Hugging Both Trees and Australians!

Today is Arbor Day, so get out there and hug a tree. Or, better yet, plant one! Holiday Island Arbor Day would also like to know if his sandals really look that bad.

This is also Hug an Australian Day, so all those Daria fans from down under had better start running. O'Neill's looking pretty touchy-feely today.

Fanfic Update!

• Abattoir Blues (1): The Hitman and Her, by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "He gives me one of those looks that says 'you're seriously asking me that? Really?' and I finally get what he's trying to say. 'Oh my God, are you saying he has a job for me?"


• Almost Like Depth, by SacredDust (part 1): "Forest green! Now that was something she didn't see enough of. Like trees and leaves...and her sister's jacket. I wonder where Daria is now, she thought."


• ARC Ch.6 Drowned in a cappuccino, by ST91 (part 6): "'Nothing in particular, I came here to make a donation.' Hearing those words Angela had to restrain herself from jumping on the Adonis she had in front of her, tear off his clothes and own him in any way permitted by physical laws."


• ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 15.5): "'It's okay, just calm down, what happened?' 'Ethan.....(huff).....he........' That was all they needed to hear. Michelle and Wehrung immediately broke into a run and headed for the crowd."


• As Though She Had Done It All Before..., by Shiva (part 7): "'He doesn't know what it means...' An old woman screamed as the last seconds of her life flew by, as she was hurled through the air."


• The Double-Crossed Girls, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'No.' Sandi moved to stand in front of Val. Stacy, now leaning against a set of lockers and beginning to breathe normally, froze in fear at Sandi's dangerous tone. 'But--' Brittany gave Sandi her best puppy-dog eyes. In return, Sandi gave Brittany her best 'I will tear your pigtails right out of your scalp' glare. 'Get. Lost.'" (Part 3)


• Fate/Lawndale Codes, by Silver (part 4): "Lancer, for his part, looked bewildered. Daria looked between the servant and Jane, her expression gradually getting more and more irate as she did. 'You two have met?'"


• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (part 138): "They were all gone. All Helen could hear was the sound of ham frying and all she could see in the kitchen was a breakfast a quarter to a half eaten."


• Holy Trouble, by januense (part 1): "'JANE LANE! WAKE UP!!!' The third time, the voice was just as loud as before and NOT of this world. Maybe to underline the request it was followed by a lightning bolt that hit Jane's bed, almost destroying it."


• Imperfect Example (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Jeremy Garrett (COMPLETE!): "Inside a classroom sometime in the far off future, a teacher was about to finish up with her students. 'Now, I will show one more example in our lesson today in human behavior.'"


• Inspiration (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'I give up.' Daria complained while crumpling up paper from her notebook and wadding it up into a ball."


• It's Esteem, as in Esteeeeeem! (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'How dare they put me in here with the losers?!' Val fumed to herself as she took a seat in O'Neill's classroom after school was supposed to be over."


• The Mageborn Cynic: Part 3, by peetz5050 (part 2): "Trent made his way back to his horse and rode away. He had never been comfortable with the duty his father had laid on his shoulders, as the younger son he had thought he would have been able to devote himself to music and... to be honest with himself... drinking and carousing, dancing sleeping and occasionally... oh and perhaps a little gambling too."


• The Punk and the Snark, by Shiva (part 5): "'Bob, you know your way to a girl's heart.' Daria said as she looked at him from across their candlelit table."


• Tiffany as a Brain (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (part 3): "'I thought you said Lawndale was lonely for you?' Daria asked Tiffany quietly after she had been introduced to Andrea Hebuca and Jane Lane."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Shockfest 2007!), by GDTSP (COMPLETE!): "Jodie Landon dived face first into her bed. As she had expected, she had failed to convince her parents to have the holidays off. There was no time to sulk, however, as she still had a history paper to write, along with 'urgent' work from two different extra-curricular activities."(Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Like in most horror movies it was a dark and stormy night, the lightning crackled through the windows, revealing the silhouette of a boy walking through a living room with something shiny and sharp in her hands."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Everybody's dead, Jane.'"

"If there isn't anything more to do, you know, I thought maybe I could go home and say good-bye to my loved ones."

Happy Administrative Professionals' Day! I'm sure that this single greeting card holiday more than makes up for the mountain of stress and overwork that crushes Marianne every single day.

Hmmm. Deeply stressed, completely dominated by Helen, no apparent backbone at all...has anyone ever done a Jake/Marianne shipper? They have an awful lot in common.

Fandom News!

• Vlora shares her Daria roleplay on Tumblr.


• RLobinske shares an essay in Deep Thoughts: There are no Marching Morons.


• Listen to SinisterExaggerator's Mario Paint Composer cover of "You're Standing On My Neck" in the thread.


• Is Sandi a narcissist? Give your reasons why or why not.


• Kara Wild invites you to read her new project: blogging the Earth's Children series.


• What's your favorite Monty Python sketch? Share your choices and clips in the thread.


• echopapa is looking for stories about Jane running the Boston Marathon.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: ThanatosRW's 2 Weeks Notice and Vukodlak's A different way of meeting.

The Refreshing Way to Celebrate Earth Day!

Today is Earth Day, so take a moment to ponder our cylindrical home and--what? It's supposed to be round? Damn corporate sponsors!

I know we saw Arbor Day in "Depth Takes a Holiday," but what do you suppose Earth Day would be like? Probably very grounded. Get it? Grounded? Ow! Stop that.

Fanfic Update!

• 50 Words of Barch and O'Neill, by JoeMerl (COMPLETE!): "'I hate Mondays.' To most people it was an innocuous statement, but somehow Janet was the only one he could admit hating anything to."


• Andrea, President of the Student Council (Iron Chef: Who is on the Student Council?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "As the black-clad Gothic nightmare stared down the group of squeak clean kids, with all the telltale signs of happy thoughts, answered dreams, and more money than sense. Andrea just sneered at them while idly swinging her gavel in the air with a lacy gloved hand."


• Another Day In Self-Esteem Class (IC: The Thompson twins), by LadieTAG (COMPLETE!): "Jane Lane and Kelly Thompson made their way to their now permanent afterschool activity - Esteem Class. They sat down in their usual seats, recognizing one or two of their fellow inmates."


• ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 15): "Wehrung walked into Ethan's bedroom, where the rest of the ASPS were gathered. He was grinning, and rubbing his hands greedily. In his hands, he held a bright yellow paper flyer that read 'Prom' in big red letters."


• Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal' (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by Shiva (part 9): "After the slam of the door, things for some reason began to turn hazy. Not even bothering to see what others were thinking, Daria felt her knees weaken and she sank onto the nearest bed and sat down with relief."


• Daria House (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Quinn chuckled. 'Seriously. Jane...we got to find someone else. Your brother was lazy at your house and he's lazy at this one.'"


• Darius Taylor, by Shiva (part 8): "'Darius?' Tom asked glancing up, 'Penny for your thoughts?' Without looking up from his phone Darius said very flatly, 'Brit told the wrong people about the "small party for friends".' The Sloane kids winced."


• The Double-Crossed Girls, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "'Quinn! You'll never guess who's waiting by the phone to hear from you!' After a brief moment of shock, Quinn recovered. 'Like, only every guy in Lawndale?'"


• Dylan, by J-D (part 19b): "'We've got more raw footage than there's possible use for', said Dylan, with more sincerity than Kris could ever recognise. 'For example, we have to look at all the times you explained to us about “muscle definition” before we can choose the best way of telling that part of the Kris Brocklethwaite story.'"


• The Fall, by Ranger Thorne (parts 3 and 4): "This time it was Willow who suddenly became serious. 'Look, um,' she stopped and sighed. 'I-I'm sorry.' 'Sorry won't fix it, Willow,' Buffy replied. 'You made me kill Ford.'" (Part 4)


• Family Reunion, by januense (part 11): "The path was rough, with rocks and bushes everywhere, and the fact that it was a moonless night didn't help at all. The door from where they entered was already hidden behind a thick wall of trees. Even if they had walked only for a few minutes, Daria felt lost in the middle of nowhere. In fact, they were."


• Fighting or Fun? (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'You're digging up home movies again?' Helen asked Jake."


• Fruitless, by malakite (part 1): "Sandi Griffin noticed with total disinterest as a car pulled up to the curb. Then a girl she'd never seen before stepped out with a small smile."


• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (part 137): "'I don't mean destroy Sue's popularity,' Jill said. 'I mean destroy her. I mean get her expelled. I mean get her off campus. Sue just told the world that Fielding isn't big enough for both you and her. She wants you out, and you have to get Sue out first!'"


• The Lengths of Sisterhood, by LadieTAG (part 1): "The silence of the night was broken by the sound of an infant waking up for her two a.m. feeding. She looks at the door and sees a thin figure heading her way. A smile forms on her tiny face as the figure lifts her up from the cradle and carries her into the kitchen."


• Love is Strange, by Shiva (part 4): "'Who really wants a bag of nuts at Eight PM?' Evan began to answer, 'Alcoholics.' Then he amended it with, 'Well if they want to catch the drunk crowd they should just put this place next to a bar and have it open on the graveyard shift and early mornings.'"


• Mackbeth, by SinisterExaggerator (part 5): "WITCH MORRIS: More labored than Mackbeth, but freer. WITCH BENNETT: Much more messed on the stress test than him, but calmer. Her onslaught of internal rhyme draws sudden, but unsurprised, looks from the other two witches."


• Mack the Esteemer, by Shiva (part 20): "'Hey,' Mack thought to himself, 'What's Tom Sloane doing here?' Tom turned his head by chance and noticed Mack looking at him and gave a wave, Mack nodded and seemed to think for a minute before waving the kid over."


• Mind Games (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'HELEN, HOW COME YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE AWAY? ARE YOU SCREWING AROUND WITH ERIC?!'"


• The Offering (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In the pitch black of night there were faint flickers of light coming from candles sitting on the ground in a semi-perfect circle. Four teenage girls stood looking down a freshly dug grave in the middle of the woods."


• Protective, by SacredDust (part 1): "Quinn wasn't blind. Frumpy clothes and a bad attitude couldn't hide that Daria was...well, almost as pretty as her underneath. And Quinn wasn't deaf, either. She heard the things people said about her 'cousin.' Even some of the things they said to her face. And she didn't like them."


• The Punk and the Snark (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (parts 1 - 3): "As Mr. DeMartino screamed in agony at the sheer stupidity of Kevin's latest answers to the teachers questions. Bob the Punk leaned towards Daria and whispered, 'Why does he always ask those two idiots to speak when this is ALWAYS the result?'" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Robert's Dance Party: Going With Another Date (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jodie Landon watched from a comfortable distance, leaning on a locker as her bubbly blond 'friend' Brittany Taylor acted on her earlier suggestion of asking Robert out to the dance."


• Sexy Daria: The Misery Sex, by Shiva (part 4): "Tommy Sherman's face fell and he began to reply but a distant sound of a crash followed by screams cut him off. The three of them froze."


• Sexy Stacy (IC: Stacy Never Joins the Fashion Club), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Stacy finished putting on her lip gloss and blew herself a kiss before shutting her compact with a loud click."


• Twin Tracks (chapter 4), by oni (part 3): "'Well at least I'm not the only amateur around here,' Jane said to herself. Stephanie's shoulders drop a little in defeat while she walked back to the machine to retrieve her ball. In monotone, Daria said from Jane's side, 'That makes three of us.'"


• Unnamed story (Scream Scenes), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Oh come on,' Daria scoffed. 'A ghost giving kids bad grades? That's the Crystal Pepsi of scary stories.' Jane crossed her arms in a huff. 'Fine, Daria, let's hear you do better!'"


• Untitled Tom based mini fic, by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "He found himself looking at his mother who appeared less than pleased with him. She simply remained seated in a comfy looking chair next to an end table with a lone lamp and started to look very clichéd. Tom let his exhaustion get the better of him and just wanted the impending lecture to be over."


• Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 11): "He barely even noticed that his father had been sitting at the table with a small lunch in front of him, Jake had stared at his son the entire time he was in the room and seemed to struggle to say something, anything. But by the time he had come up with the word 'Hi', Victor was already gone."

Cough, Cough

It's 4/20, so smoke 'em if you got 'em. Trent's apparently way ahead of you, though.

Today is also Volunteer Recognition Day, so you can celebrate your awareness of others by reading to seniors. Ever wonder what it would be like to read Ginsberg's Howl while stoned? Now's the perfect opportunity.

Fandom News!

• Kara Wild would like some advice about what to do with certain furniture.


• MartinUK discusses his next trip, and the latest complication involved in it.


• Talk about the bombing at the Boston Marathon.


• Who is Doug Walker's seventh favorite movie or TV character? Find out in the linked video in the thread.


• Erin M. gives the closing summary for Worldhopper.


• Three new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: ThanatosRW's Faceswapping, Walter Kovacs's The Thompson twins, and SinisterExaggerator's Thank God You're Here.


• Share TV Tropes in our own fanfics and TV Tropes in our own fanart.

A Dark Caption Contest

Shed some light on this scene by posting your captions in the comments!

Happy Birthday to the Tramp!

Happy birthday to the late Charlie Chaplin, born on this day in 1889. I suppose Mr. O'Neill makes people laugh in the same way Chaplin did...but Chaplin did so intentionally.

This is also Stress Awareness Day, and Jake has the following message for us all: "Why do people keep telling me I'm stressed? If I weren't stressed, I'd get stressed by everyone telling me I'm stressed!" Nice, calming words from a Zen master.

Fanfic Update!

• ARC Ch.6 Drowned in a cappuccino, by ST91 (part 5): "'I'm sorry, I swear Andrea, I didn't want to peek, it was an accident. Those photos fell with the sheets, I took one without thinking about it.' 'Don't worry Daria, I know that you're not a busybody. Also you didn't know of the existence of those photos so you could not have taken them on purpose.'"


• ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 14): "Michelle walked down the long hallway, her cane slapping against the stone walls. She could hear the breathing of the other inmates as they watched her. Eventually, she reached her destination. 'Dr. Lecter.'"


• The Author as a Sadomachist (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'So, Daria,' her lover asked. 'What kind of toys do you have for me?'"


• Dylan, by J-D (part 19a): "It had only been because it was raining that Dylan and Rod had reluctantly accepted a ride from Ms FitzPatrick when they all came out of the movie theatre. That was just bad luck. It was more than bad luck, though, that made Ms FitzPatrick decide that having students make films of their own was Dylan's idea."


• Emory and Claire (Emory Barksdale), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "In a room that was decked out in 'latter-day hippie', Emory Barksdale found himself naked as the day he was born, lying in bed with the sheets pulled down."


• The Great Genderswap of Lawndale!, by Shiva (part 7): "Breakfast meant having to face his family, which normally involved Quinn commenting on his choice of unhealthy morning food, his mother burying her head in the paper, and Dad in working himself up into a frenzy to get to work. Now however things had changed, though how long it would last was a matter of debate."


• Helen and the Ape, by SinisterExaggerator (part 3): "In the hospital, Jake lay propped up in a bed, and the first shards of light were beginning to pour into his mind. Coherence, however, would have to wait."


• I'm Tagging With the Band: Hiring Amy (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It wasn't often that Amy Barksdale got an invitation to be interviewed for a publicist job, under most circumstances she would be the one to seek out the job rather than have one fall into her lap. 'Especially one that involves Mystik Spiral.'"


• Isn't It Nice to Be Home? (IC: Thank God You're Here), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Thank God you're here.' Trent's alarmed greeting surprised Jane, visiting home from the post-collegiate art circuit. For him to break the shell of lethargy that normally surrounded him in a musky haze, she knew there had to be something going on."


• Lindy's Car Crash (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It had looked like something from a movie, as in a brief moment of stillness Lindy saw the other car through her windshield. No matter how much she had tried to brake, there simply wasn't enough time."


• Losers No More, by Shiva (part 15): "Graham laughed nervously and shuffled his feet before saying, 'Daria, I- I'm not a good dancer.' 'I'm not a dancer at all.' She answered with a shrug. Graham's face began to fall. Daria sighed, 'Ok, we can dance a little bit.'"


• Mack is a Dick: To Tommy Sherman (IC: Mack is a Dick), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'That's the name. Don't wear it out. whoomp!' Tommy Sherman began to say before Mack grew sick of his arrogant mouth and socked him hard square in that busted up nose of his."


• Nurse Goodnsexy Meets the Legion! (The Adventures of Nurse Goodnsexy), by Shiva (part 1): "After a couple of days of experimentation, that funny little bracelet began to reveal some of it's delicious little secrets."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Breakfast at Tiffany's), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Tiffany Blum-Deckler stood in front of the toaster, her eyes fixated on it's shininess and her reflection within it."


• Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 10): "As Victor stepped into the living room, he had a little smirk on his face as he saw Quinn whining about Daria going to that cheerleader's party to their mother, who was only half-paying attention."


• Vivian, by ST91 (part 8): "If anybody had observed Vivian's life in the last days he would have said that she was a very lucky woman."


• Yunny: DA SEECWEL, by Brain Camper (part 2): "su den duh aloons cume and dey shey bwuy yu gunna bhee shpancked"