Somehow I Doubt Mystik Spiral Plays This One

Jake seems to be rethinking his decision to celebrate National Dive Bar Day, but at least he's getting out and making friends. I gotta say, a small town like Lawndale having not one, not two, but three dive bars (this one plus the Zon and McGrundy's) seems a little odd. What the heck is going on there?

I think Jake would have been better off celebrating World Chocolate Day instead, or at least he would if he could wrestle any of it away from Mrs. Johannsen. She's not one to tangle with; just ask Mr. DeMartino.

Both the episodes "Road Worrier" and "It Happened One Nut" first aired on this day in 1997 and 1999. There were no dive bars or chocolate in either, but we did see a greasy spoon in the first and peanuts hijacked Trent's brain in the second. "You've hijacked my brain, moth to a flame, if you don't release me it'll really be lame."

Eh. Still needs work.

Fanfic Update!

• Boston Sunset, by Yuuuutong (COMPLETE!): "The luckiest thing in Daria and Jane’s life maybe, after graduating from the senior high school, they went to Boston together."


• But You're a Cheerleader, by Bolshevitch (part 2): "It’s 6am and cold. Biting cold. Like God left his freezer open the whole night. Somehow your high school’s bus lot is never very thermally efficient."


• Daria Enrolls At Nevermore: An Experiment, by Meester_Lee (part 18): "After bringing up their luggage, Helen had an idea. 'Let’s take your bike,' she said. 'I assume that you want me to drive,' said Sirius."


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 88): "All of Layndale and the nearby mountains endured three days of storm with heavy snow and lashing winds, and even though daylight had almost disappeared and the temperature had dropped to alarming levels, soon the storm passed as it followed a path to the North and everything began to slowly warm up."


• Telephone, by Bolshevitch (COMPLETE!): "'Picture this, Daria,' Jane leans beside her friend’s locker, watching her take out an armful of textbooks for English next period, 'me, you, and Kannibal Killers 4: the Re-Kannibalizing on VHS.'"

Anyone For a Trip to Bikini Island?

Andrea is just rocking that two-piece for International Bikini Day, but I hope Upchuck doesn't see her. Not because she would be embarrassed but because the boy would probably spontaneously combust on the spot.

Helen won't have time for buying or wearing swimsuits, though, because it's Work-a-holics Day and...well, I guess today won't actually be any different from any other day for her. Still, it must be nice to have your work-related insanity acknowledged one day out of every year!

Finally, it was on this day in 2000 that the episode "Mart of Darkness" first aired. Andrea wore a PayDay smock instead of a bikini, and she found common ground with Jane and Daria!

Don't Compliment That Girls Bathroom Mirror that Adds at Least Two Pounds!

Quinn's having a great Compliment Your Mirror Day, because no one flatters Quinn like...Quinn. This would be an especially bad time for Daria to have that funhouse nightmare, because it would be very difficult to compliment a horrific mutated version of yourself.

I just hope Quinn isn't too busy enjoying her own company to remember that today is also National Independent Beer Run Day and she has pressing duties as Keg Queen. First on the list is to figure out how a fourteen-year-old is going to be able to buy any amount of beer.

Daria will be happy to know that today is the anniversary of the birth of Franz Kafka in 1883. Not only did Daria have a poster of the writer in her room, but The Angst Guy wrote what is likely the only Kafka/Daria crossover, "I Never Metamorphosis I Didn't Like."

Fanfic Update!

• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 7): "Daria turned her legal pad face-down on Jane’s bed, flopping down fully onto it herself. 'Ugh. Nargh. Feh.'"


• But You're a Cheerleader, by Bolshevitch (part 1): "Daria knows being a good writer will bite her in the ass one day. She’s just hoping it’s a lot further down the line than Friday second period. In fact, it’s not."


• Graduation Ceremony, by Yuuuutong (COMPLETE!): "It’s on Jane’s university graduation ceremony. As an outstanding graduate, Jane headed towards the stage, a surge of strange feeling going down her spine, or maybe, that’s familiar."


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 87): "After that delightful night of happiness and fun at Anna's seventeenth birthday, Lockie Allyngard had departed and she had vanished into the shadows of Starlight Castle once again."


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "The third of the previous applicants entered the bookstore. 'Let’s see. Dani Moreno, a sophomore at Lawndale State,' Quinn said."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic Should Have: How did We survive?), by JohnnyJB (COMPLETE!): "Mr. O'Neill: Nice day for a swim, isn't it! Mr. Demartino: Sure it is, except the SHARKS! and the JELLYFISH! and let's not forget the STINGRAYS! the BARRACUDAS! the ANGLERFISH! the EELs! the KILLER WHALES! the WHALE SHARKS! and let's be glad there aren't PIRANHAS or FLESH EATING BACTERIA!"

Who Wants Some Running Back Rocky Road?

Mack and Kevin have the right idea for Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day, as long as the idea is football-themed varieties of ice cream. I am totally ready to try some Firstdown Fudge; anyone else?

Of course, funny flavor names get extra bonus points because today is also International Joke Day! Maybe Jake will finally come up with a good gag to share, or at least figure out when Daria's serious or not.

If Jane's not in the laughing mood, she could always take another trip to see her friend the tiger in honor of American Zoo Day. On the other hand, that might bring back some unpleasant memories. Better stick with some ice cream to cheer her up instead.

A Rare Sweet Father-Daughter Moment

Jake and a very reluctant Daria are observing Hug Holiday, but if anyone outside Daria's immediate family tries to join in then they should watch out--Daria has been known to threaten lawsuits to thwart physical contact. Jane is an exception, however, as she's one of the few people Daria has voluntarily hugged in her life. And all it took was a traumatic car accident!

On the other hand, if Jane values her life she won't try to get this encounter on film, even if it is Camera Day. Cameras are only for photographing Jake when his eye bursts a blood vessel.

On this day in 1998, the episode "Gifted" first aired and we found out that there are, in fact, worse schools in Lawndale than Lawndale High. Well, equally as bad, at least.

Fanfic Update!

• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (parts 84 - 86): "The great red oaks of Wallerstein Park swayed a little in the icy wind, the winter sky was bright and clear with only a few cirrus clouds so far into the distance, it was quite a frozen morning and everything was silent except for the ravens and the soft whispers of the trees." (Part 85) (Part 86)


• Static and Silence, by Jhxdhchxclvhcydjbp (parts 1 and 2): "Lawndale wasn’t what she expected. She thought a town like this would be quieter. Sleepy. Beige, maybe. But no—Lawndale buzzed with a kind of tired static." (Part 2)

Now THAT'S Bouncity-Bounce!

Brittany has found an odd way to celebrate the anniversary of Captain Kangaroo creator Bob Keeshan's birth on this day in 1927. Then again, maybe she's both confused and two days too late for celebrating the "Boxing Daria" anniversary. Either way, I suggest Kevin steer clear of his girlfriend if he wants to maintain his health and safety.

Perhaps Trent could dig out that old tent for the Great American Backyard Campout, but I don't think he has very fond memories of that. Plus, I suspect Jane won't be very interested in bringing him sandwiches this time around.

If you decide to go camping, don't forget to protect your eyes from the sun for National Sunglasses Day! They're a great accessory for staying aloof at family reunions and disguising yourself when a sibling/cousin tries to embarrass you in public.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Bill Moyers.

Party Like It's 1984!

Young Daria is ready for both camp and the anniversary of George Orwell's birth in this day in 1903, but I think she's about to find out that some campers are more equal than others. Orwell's influence on the show was also seen in "Psycho Therapy," when Daria commented, "Gee, look at the time. 1984 already" in reference to Helen's law firm evaluating the family's mental health.

While we're on the subject of Daria's less-fond childhood memories, the episode "Boxing Daria" first aired on this day in 2001. It's one of the most popular episodes, and for good reason--great jokes combined with bittersweet insights into Daria's history made for an excellent series near-finale (aside from the final movie).

Someone should smuggle Ted another cassette in honor of Global Beatles Day, but make sure his parents don't find out. Listening to decades-old pop music is just a slippery slope to chewing gum and playing anachronistic video games!

Fanfic Update!

• Avatar: The Drama Of Daria, by psychotol (part 14): "Barch entered the principals office to see police chief Mako and another cop there, she asked 'I thought Daria had dropped the matter?'"


• I (Don't) Want to Be a Part of It, by ladyevil (part 8): "'Simmah down now!' Alfred was doing a Cheri Oteri impression as he got off the elevator with Daria, Jane and Tony. 'Just simmer down!'"


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "'Daria Morgendorffer, please report to the principal’s office,' Ms. Li announced straight after Homeroom."


• The Youngest Barksdale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 9): "It was disappointing that there wasn’t anything she could use against Ms. Li in what Quinn had told her, Daria considered as she entered her room. But she was sure that there was something else she could use."

In the Pink

Quinn is happily greeting National Pink Day in her very own Temple of Pink, and I hope that if pink is your favorite color then you have a great day. If you hate the color pink, then, well...just try to avoid Quinn as much as possible. Be like Daria.

If you need something to do, today is also Public Service Day and you could always volunteer to help the less fortunate! You could read to the elderly or collect clothing for the homeless, but only if you have a pleasant voice or good fashion sense.

Just be sure to shop local for National Family Owned & Operated Businesses Day, but I don't recommend visiting Earl and Barbara's store. Unless you like cellophane sandwiches, that is.

Fandom News!

• Talk about the United States striking Iran.

Who Knew Authoritarians Could be Flexible?

It appears that Ms. Li is exhibiting some previously-unknown talents for International Yoga Day, but I think she should be careful. If she gets stuck on that bottom one, things could be very awkward at the next school board meeting. The Fashion Club might celebrate this one, as they've been shown to participate in power yoga, but only up to the point before they'd actually break a sweat.

Let's just hope Trent and the band decide to abstain from observing World Day of Music. The sound that Mystik Spiral produces might be charitably referred to as "music," but there aren't many that would define it as "good."

Someone should tell Kevin that today is World Motorcycle Day, because that would be a great opportunity for him to get his leather jacket and motorbike back out and recreate the scene from Jane's fourth birthday party. Just remind Brittany to keep her mouth closed to keep the bugs out.

Fanfic Update!

• Dude, Where's my Life, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Brittany is giving her daughter, Angie, a very stern talking to. 'I can't believe you're throwing away your life to become a lesbian!'"


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (parts 81 - 83): "Anna Coulthard had been fascinated by the surreal beauty of Somewhere Else since her very first day in that world, and yet now that it was November she had come to discover, happy and nostalgic at the same time, that it was indeed possible for her to love her new home even more." (Part 82) (Part 83)


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by roentgen (COMPLETE!): "It was December and the NBA season was on the way with the Washington Wizards - to borrow an analogy - jumping out of the gate with all of the other horses in the Derby, and then immediately breaking a leg."

What's in the Booooooox?

Jake is curious to see if anyone is celebrating International Box Day Daria-style, but I think that kind of behavior is limited to his daughter and every cat in the world. If you decide to spend some quality time sitting inside a box, please remember to ignore the neighbors when they begin to talk.

At least if Daria stays in her box, she won't have to worry about creating any more problems on National Kissing Day. Whether it's stealing Jane's boyfriend or freaking out her mother, kissing never seems to end well for Daria.

At least Jake can go back inside and fix himself a nice drink for National Martini Day. If any of Helen's family members drop by, he can even prepare an entire pitcher! Let's hope that doesn't happen, though, because he probably still doesn't remember what "The pigeons are at rest" means.

Fandom News!

• Share crossovers you would like to see in a new thread.

Giving "Trashy" a New Definition

Sandi has definitely had better days, but it's Global Garbage Man Day and Ms. Griffin would never do anything but dress for the occasion. As long as she can pawn off the messiest work onto Stacy, I'm sure she'll be okay.

I think she's still having a more pleasant day than Mr. O'Neill, though, because it's National Mascot Day and you just know he's being forced to wear that stifling Lawndale Lions costume again. Just remember to take the head off if you can't breathe!

Jake, on the other hand, is hopefully having a pleasant National Root Beer Day, especially if he can have one in a frosty cold can.

Fanfic Update!

• 15 Years On, by DrT9999 (COMPLETE!): "Helen walked over to Matt and Naomi, who had been supervising a group of eleven would-be volunteer archeologists – eight undergraduates and three 'pay-to-play'."


• Dude, Where's my Life, by wilddogjj (part 2): "Quinn was on the phone with her husband. 'WHAT,' she exclaimed, 'Kevin let two barely legal skanks steal your car!? You've gotta be kidding me!'"


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "Linda had felt Sandi’s search for Jane and thus knew what had happened when she opened the door to find Daria holding up her daughter."

99 Bottles of Jesse On the Wall, 99 Bottles of Jesse....

On one hand, Jesse's looking a little trapped on National Beer Day, because that's really not how the holiday is meant to be celebrated. On the other hand, he doesn't seem terribly bothered by it, so I guess we should just let him be.

I hope any beer-loving dads get to enjoy a nice cold one for Father’s Day, although I suspect Jake would prefer a martini. Or, depending on how the day has been going, a nice soothing glass of milk. Could someone else please warm it up for him, though?

Please, please, don't let Daria celebrate Smile Power Day. Given how creepy her smiles tend to be, I think she's completely right to only smile when she has a reason.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Brian Wilson.


• Discuss the Democratic lawmaker assassinated in Minnesota.

I Guess They're Superstitious

Daria and Jane are horrified to learn that today is Friday the 13th, but I wouldn't be so upset. After all, Friday the 13th is still a Friday, and that's a win right there!

However, Jake might want to stay out of the kitchen on this unlucky day, because it's National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day and he's a menace when cooking at even the best times. All he needs is too much of a free hand with the pepper and his tongue will be black in no time.

At least Jane can take comfort in today being National Jane Day, so that should cancel out any bad luck she might have experienced. Just as long as she stays far away from any of Jake's cooking.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (part 23): "Dolly Frasier knew the right people, and knew that money talked. She had the invitations for the ceremony in hand before noon that Saturday morning."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 17): "Freya and Alexia came out of the lecture. 'So, what was that about an ancient manuscript, again?' Alexia asked."


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "SpiderGirl re-entered the theater area and saw that it was still full of the green mist, she saw Peterson nearby, as well as three young men, including Trent, talking to her."

Anyone For a Luau?

Stacy is dancing the hula in honor of King Kamehameha I Day, a Hawaiian holiday that honors the first ruler of the Kingdom of Hawaii. I'm sure Aunt Amy would love to celebrate by going back to Hawaii for another vacation, but only if she can rub Helen's nose in it again.

I hope that the various Lawndale teens at least try to be nice to their younger siblings because it's also National Children’s Day! Then again, I'm not sure that bratty children like the Griffin boys and Brian Taylor are worth celebrating. Maybe Daria had a point about not liking kids, if those are any example of what the Lawndale children are like.

The episode "Prize Fighters" first aired on this day in 2001, and the competition was fierce! No, not the drama over Jodie, Upchuck, and Daria all fighting for the same scholarship. I mean the hot dog eating competition at the end. Mr. DeMartino was clearly in it to win it.

Fandom News!

• wingzero shared a disturbing police video.


• R.I.P., Sly Stone.

"If you get thrown off a horse, you have to get back up and shoot it, right?"

Helen and Jake are celebrating the anniversary of the day Secretariat won the Triple Crown in 1973, but I think we all wish they'd have chosen an activity that wasn't quite so creepy. Daria and Quinn in particular are most likely fleeing the house, searching for brain bleach, or both.

Let's just hope Helen and Jake don't find out that today is also National Sex Day, although whenever they have the house to themselves they don't usually need much of an excuse. I just hope Daria doesn't get caught up in any more middle-of-the-night misunderstandings, because I don't think Jake could handle the trauma a second time.

Finally, the episode "Pinch Sitter" first aired on this day in 1997. The word of the day is "indemnification," and I hope everyone enjoys this brainworm: "I am cool and that is it, and everyone else is full of, full of, full of--"

Fanfic Update!

• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (parts 20 and 21): "It was a rather haggard-looking Daria who showed up for lunch Wednesday morning." (Part 21)

"Ding-a-ling-a-ling-a-ling? A-ling?"

I don't think Mack is enjoying National Chocolate Ice Cream Day very much, but that might just be because the bratty kids threw what appears to be strawberry ice cream at him instead of chocolate. Now, if he'd been hit with a scoop of Bro and QB's Firstdown Fudge, then I'm sure he'd have been all smiles.

Let's just hope that the ice cream he's selling has been inspected, because it's World Food Safety Day and no one wants food poisoning. Just ask Jake after his horrible experience at Tokyo Toby's!

Meanwhile, the Fashion Club may be interested to know that Beau Brummell was born on this day in 1778. As one of history's most famous fashion icons, his birthday should probably be something of a major holiday to fashionistas everywhere!

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between Casper the Friendly Ghost and Slimer.

Who's the REAL Airhead Now?

It seems that Kevin and Brittany are going for a ride on Hot Air Balloon Day, but I wouldn't count on either of them knowing how to fly that thing or navigate, so that's probably the last we'll see of them for awhile. Jake, if he can overcome his fear of heights, could take Terry Barry Barlow up on his ballooning offer but I hope they make sure Arno comes with them.

Mrs. Bennett should know that today is the anniversary of the birth of both Adam Smith in 1723 and John Maynard Keynes in 1883. She could try to teach the class about both economists, but I suspect the lesson would only devolve into yet another incomprehensible diagram.

Fanfic Update!

• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 6): "'What else are you doing this weekend, anyway?' Jane always knew the right way to needle Daria into doing something."


• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (parts 16 and 17): "When the football season was finally wrapped up in early November, what passed for the social scene in Lawndale took a breather. However, that also meant that the end of the first trimester would be just over a week before the short Thanksgiving break." (Part 17)


• Dude, Where's My Life?, by wilddogjj (part 1): "Kevin and Brittany's twenty-year-old daughter, Angie Thompson, was driving to the Lawndale State campus in her 2021 Corvette, a sweet-sixteen present from Grandpa Steve. As she drove, she was deep in thought."


• Harry Potter Morgendorffer: Kitting Out For Hogwarts, by Meester_Lee (part 41): "Harry’s and Daria’s acceptance letters for Hogwarts and Ilvermorny spurred a flurry of activity in the Morgendorffer household."


• Is it The Purge Yet?, by darialalalalala (part 4): "Daria woke up to Jane rubbing her eyes. 'Damn, did anyone have a rough night?' Jane said."


• Reflections, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Quinn awoke and opened her eyes. She took in the sight of the Lane’s guest room as she got out of the bed."


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "It wasn’t long before Peterson arrived at the Historia. 'I knew you would be here, Daria,' she said after she had ordered breakfast herself."

A Bicycle Built for One...or Less

Daria is getting some fresh air and exercise for World Bicycle Day, which is all you need to know to realize that this is a dream sequence rather than something she'd actually do in real life. Perhaps Jake could try to purge some of his childhood demons by riding a bike of his own, but I sure hope someone comforts him if he falls and skins his knee again.

Instead of bike riding, Daria could read some more of "Howl" for the seniors at Better Days Nursing Home in honor of the anniversary of Allen Ginsberg's birth on this day in 1926. I think only Mrs. Blaine would enjoy the experience, however, because Beat poetry is pretty underappreciated there.

Everyone needs to brush up their echolalia because today is also Repeat Day! Everyone needs to brush up their echolalia because today is also Repeat Day!

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Loretta Swit.

Just Don't Cry Over It!

Jake's having an excellent World Milk Day, but I hope his arteries are prepared for the incoming cholesterol. At least he should be good and relaxed by then, assuming he doesn't spill any and accidentally set the house on fire.

If he takes too big of a drink and chokes, the good news is that it's National Heimlich Maneuver Day and rescue should be at hand! The bad news is that while Daria claims to know the Heimlich, in reality she only tried it once...on a non-choking Quinn.

On this day in 1997, The Washington Post published "Wither Daria: Meet The Teen Terminator," an overview of the show in the early days along with an interview with Eichler and Susie Lewis Lynn. Among other things, we learn that Eichler expects Daria to become "a story editor of a cable show...who has a PhD in French literature." Sacré bleu!

Fanfic Update!

• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (parts 13 and 14): "Jane could tell Daria was in a foul mood the next Monday morning as they headed towards the school together." (Part 14)


• Heavenly Wine and Roses, by riotsquirrrl (part 7): "Daria knocks on Quinn's door frame. Quinn looks up from her fashion magazine and gives Daria a lopsided smile."


• I (Don't) Want to Be a Part of It, by ladyevil (part 7): "Buddy’s was as busy as any Bar and Grill in New York City during the lunch rush. A tall lady bartender with dark mahogany skin and hair in cornrows kept sparing a glance at the front door in between serving customers."


• Strange How We Know Each Other, by riotsquirrrl (COMPLETE!): "Jane blinked her eyes. She looked down at her hands. Her hands."

Honest Andrea

Andrea looks very statuesque (get it?) for the anniversary of the dedication of the Lincoln Memorial in 1922. Perhaps to celebrate, Jodie can finish telling Brittany "all about how nice Mr. Lincoln really died."

A more pleasant proposition, however, would be Water a Flower Day. It might be a good idea to water the Tommy Memorial Crutch, too, because if that thing goes then you just know Tommy Sherman will come back to haunt the girls' restroom again.

Does anyone feel like joining Daria in ordering either a steak or a stake? If so, then I have good news because it's Joan of Arc's feast day, or the anniversary of the day she was executed in 1431.

It's Double Bro Seven!

Mack is shaken, not stirred, because James Bond creator Ian Fleming was born on this day in 1908. Upchuck should be the most interested, though, as a canon fan of the fictional spy. Daria might take the opportunity to write a new Melody Powers story, since the character clearly took quite a bit of inspiration from James Bond, as well.

After she's done writing, Daria might also enjoy a tasty snack to celebrate National Hamburger Day, although it's her call whether she chooses to eat it or "stick it in my boots 'cause I love the squishy, squishy feeling 'round my toes." Jane could join her if she feels up to taking on another two (or even five) jumbo burgers without feeling a thing.

Finally, it was on this day in 2001 that the episode "Life in the Past Lane" first aired. Although the episode has some high points, like Stacy scoring a win over Sandy and Barch melting down during Upchuck's magic act, it will most likely always be best known as the only appearance of the loathsome Nathan.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (parts 9 and 10): "'Hey, Daria!' Daria looked up to look Jane in the eyes as she was hailed by her best friend as Jane opened her front door before Daria had fully reached it – certainly nearly unique." (Part 10)


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The figure had light. SpiderGirl and Ninja Talon also had flashlights. The first pipe was easy, as it was mostly dry, but they noticed that there was more water as they continued towards the creek."


• Strange How We Know Each Other, by riotsquirrrl (part 5): "Jane was relieved when Caroline sat on Daria's other side instead of next to or across from her. She was less than relieved to hear Caroline grilling Daria as if she was Jane."

I Vant to Drink Your Diet Soda!

We all knew Sandi was an emotional vampire, but today she's an actual vampire in honor of World Dracula Day! She could take the opportunity to read the book by Brad--I mean, Bram--Stoker about the internationally known celebrity vampire...but I don't think she'd enjoy it because it's longer than any issue of Waif magazine.

I'm sure she'd rather read any book than celebrate World Red Head Day, though, because two of her least favorite people have red hair: Upchuck and Quinn. Good thing her brothers have brown and blond hair, or else she'd have an even stronger reason to hate gingers.

"Big" Jake should know that today is the anniversary of John Wayne's birth in 1907, as he is clearly a big fan of the late actor. He could take some time to admire his Rio Bravo, Rio Lobo, and Rio Grande John Wayne collectable coins--as long as they don't accidentally slip down the garbage disposal without any provocation.

Fandom News!

• wingzero shares a video with a warning about the private equity bubble.

Long Live the Jake!

Jake is definitely not amused to be celebrating the anniversary of Queen Victoria's birth in 1819. Perhaps he's thinking about how difficult it would be to rule an entire empire singlehandedly, or maybe he's just thinking about what Mad Dog would say if he saw him right now.

However, today is not the day to fret about abusive fathers, because it's National Brother's Day and we should be thinking about male siblings! Jake never mentioned any siblings of either gender, but Jane could wish Trent a good day...if she's able to wake him up, anyway.

Daria, not having a brother, could instead choose to observe World Schizophrenia Day by re-reading the poetry in her closet, scratched with a key by the schizophrenic former inhabitant of her room. Beats Quinn's "Greasy Fry" poem, at least.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (COMPLETE!): "As far as Daria was concerned, one positive aspect of Quinn's injuries was that her parents had to cancel a couples' intimacy Saturday night get together."


• Funky Pretty, by MoleFromTheMinistry (part 8): "The birds were singing, the brook was rushing, and life was rolling on by. Such a sweet morning to do absolutely nothing… except probably reconnecting with nature like Thoreau wanted."


• The World in All Its Wonders Has Nothing Like the Wonder of You, by Bolshevitch (COMPLETE!): "The first time she says it, really says it instead of letting the words spill out the side of her head, is after dinner with the Morgendorffers."

Grade School, My Dear Watson!

Kevin is wishing us a very happy Sherlock Holmes Day, although aside from being fictional he has absolutely nothing in common with the brilliant consulting detective. I guess you could argue that people often found it difficult to follow their thought processes...but for widely different reasons.

It's also the anniversary of Sir Laurence Olivier's birth on this day in 1907, and it's worth noting that the actor played Professor Moriarty opposite Nicol Williamson as Sherlock Holmes in The Seven-Per-Cent Solution. It's also worth noting that Jamie White's acting was once compared to this great actor by Daria: "Laurence Olivier, in his present state, couldn't have done better."

I hope Andrea knows that today is World Goth Day, although I doubt she'd care. It's not like goths need a special occasion, after all. Still, she could take the opportunity to share some of her poetry, if everyone has the stomach for it.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., George Wendt.

Let Me Know When It's Be a Billionaire Day

Tom is finding it incredibly easy to celebrate Be a Millionaire Day, but the rest of us might find it a bit more difficult. Still, if anyone would like to chip in and help me observe the holiday, I'll be happy to accept any donations!

I hope that Daria doesn't choose today to take another road trip in The Tank, because it's National Stop Nausea Day and traveling along a bumpy road in a poorly-maintained van will not be helpful in celebrating. Just remember that dry toast and tea can help but sitting on an ancient peanut butter sandwich will not.

Still, better to suffer from nausea than to get stung by a bee again, even if it is World Bee Day. I'd far rather they make honey and pollinate plants than sting anyone, and I'm sure the bees feel much the same way.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria in "The Gap", by SisterCatherine (part 2): "A stage with a single glaring spotlight. Daria stepped forward, her eyes adjusting to the light."


• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (part 3): "Daria found the next week to be mostly frustrating."


• Is it The Purge Yet?, by darialalalalala (part 2): "'What?' Helen asked, 'Get back down, now!' Helen hissed."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 16): "Back at the Library, Janara had found something. 'There are some matches here.'"


• Nicole Gets Trumped, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Quinn and Jim were in the living room watching TV while the triplets were upstairs doing homework. Actually, most likely only Teddy was doing homework while Tommy and Timmy play video games."


• Unnamed story (The 1002 Deaths of Tom Sloane), by Lady Evil (COMPLETE!): "Tom Sloane’s worst nightmare had come true. No, it was worse than that. What happened was something that Tom could never imagine in even his darkest thoughts."


• The World in All Its Wonders Has Nothing Like the Wonder of You, by Bolshevitch (part 3): "The third time she thinks about saying it, the Lane family bathroom has been turned into a makeshift ER. Okay, maybe ER is a bit dramatic, but there’s a pencil sticking out of Jane’s palm."


• Spider Quinn 16 Tempest and Change, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Peterson then entered the café in plain clothes and saw the partners. 'Just the people I want to see,' she said."


• Strange How We Know Each Other, by riotsquirrrl (part 4): "Tom couldn't believe how the driving gods smiled on him. Here he was, in Boston, with three hours to spare."

And Nathan Thought HIS Style was Retro!

Jane is clearly taking a unique route to celebrating Mother Whistler Day, but she really seems more the type to create art than to pose for it. Perhaps this is some kind of thought-provoking performance piece?

I hope Whistler's stepmother doesn't feel out, because it's also Stepmother's Day! Ashley-Amber (or is it Amber-Ashley?) could celebrate by taking Brittany shopping with Steve's credit cards.

In fact, why not celebrate every member of your family with Visit Your Relatives Day? I can think of a few Daria relatives that people should really steer clear of, though.

He Cried All the Way to the Bank...Because He Had No Money to Deposit

Mr. DeMartino is having a great time as Liberace for the anniversary of the late entertainer's birth in 1919, but who knew he could play piano? I mean, we know that he can cook (when he has money for food), play hockey, and do 400 upside-down sit-ups in a row, so this is clearly a man of many talents.

I'm sure Daria and Jane will be happy to celebrate National Pizza Party Day, but I don't see how this would differ from any other day. I suspect that they'll either ignore the "party" aspect or redefine it to refer to a gathering of two people and no one else.

On the other hand, maybe Daria will celebrate National Piercing Day by getting her belly button re-perforated. I sincerely doubt it, though, and even if she decided to do it there is almost zero chance that she'd go to Axl's parlor to do so.

Fanfic Update!

• Funky Pretty, by MoleFromTheMinistry (part 7): "Daria briefly engaged with that same strange dream she kept returning to before waking up once more."


• Katie Huegel, by Meester_Lee (part 10): "It was nearing a quarter to seven and despite the fact that she’d been repeatedly telling herself that it’s only a football date, Katie found herself fidgeting."


• Nicole Gets Trumped, by wilddogjj (parts 1 and 2): "Quinn was in the office of the restaurant that she co-owns with her husband Jim, his uncle Vito and Vito's wife Lizzy. Today was her turn to be on site. She was going over some paperwork when there was a knock on the door." (Part 2)


• Spider Quinn 16 Tempest and Change, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "Across the cafeteria, Quinn joined Stacy, Tori and Tiffany. 'Have you found out anything else?' Tori asked."


• Strange How We Know Each Other, by riotsquirrrl (part 3): "On the whiteboard outside her room, Jane saw, 'Went to J's place for the weekend. Back Sunday night. - S' She breathed a sigh of relief and unlocked the door. One less thing to explain."

Yo Quiero Designer Clothes!

Quinn appears to be embracing her inner...female dog...because it's International Chihuahua Appreciation Day. Most of the chihuahuas I've met have been tiny balls of rage, but I will do my best to appreciate them. From a safe distance.

If you're interested in hellbeasts, though, then you'll be pleased to know that today is the (approximate) anniversary of the birth of Dante Alighieri in 1265. He was the author of The Inferno, referenced in Is It Fall Yet? and the inspiration for the game "Daria's Inferno."

Finally, it was on this day in 1804 that Lewis and Clark set out on their famous expedition, intended to explore President Jefferson's recent Louisiana Purchase, a massive splurge worthy of any member of the Fashion Club. This expansion was a major driver of Manifest Destiny, in which people (not including many Mexicans) claimed it was God's will for the U.S. to expand all the way to the Pacific Ocean.

Fandom News!

• Are Monique and the Harpies likely to be a Zon band?

I Guess There are Worse Days to be Eternally Stuck In

It's May 12th, an important day for the Morgendorffer household because the page-a-day calendar in their kitchen inexplicably always seems to be on that day. I don't know why; it could be some kind of Groundhog Day scenario or maybe they're just too lazy to change it. Either is equally possible.

Good news for history teachers named DeMartino, because it's also National Anthony Day! Sadly, the holiday doesn't come with any cash, gifts, or time off from teaching, so I don't suppose he'll be particularly amused.

Elsewhere in the high school, someone should wish the never-seen Nurse Chase a happy International Nurses Day while she's collecting voluntary urine samples from the students. Just don't ask her to look at that weird rash on your neck.

Fanfic Update!

• I feel very normal today, by whiteboycqrl (part 16): " I’ve been stuck in a loop These past few days that the heat has risen And I close my curtains during the day, in order to block any speck of heat and light from coming in I’ve been relieving the exact same day I’m stuck in my bed"


• Katie Huegel, by Meester_Lee (part 9): "Katie wasn’t able to get back to Wesley until the following morning. School let out shortly after PE and he’d gotten his stuff and left by the time she got to her locker to pick up her textbooks."


• Strange How We Know Each Other, by riotsquirrrl (part 2): "When they awoke, Jane saw Daria's black hair was wavy from sleep. She never realized how much it softened her face. Maybe she could try wearing it like that more often. Maybe she could do some other things too."

This Should Throw Don Quixote for a Loop!

Brittany has undergone a massive transformation for Windmill Day, and I think she's going to be very upset when she realizes she can't hold her pom-poms anymore. Kevin will be even more upset when he sees the relatively small size of Brittany's...windows.

If Daria or Quinn need some extra cash, they could call up the Gupty parents because it's National Babysitters Day! On the other hand, I don't think anyone needs money that badly.

Instead, Daria and Jane could settle in for another Sick, Sad World marathon in honor of Stay Up All Night Day. Staying up all night is also Trent's preferred method of dealing with an early morning wake-up, but we all know how well that turns out in the end.

Jane Should Give Back that Bonus Sock

Daria is apparently celebrating the exact opposite of No Socks Day by wearing socks but no shoes (or boots, in this case). Considering her contrarian nature, this is an entirely predictable act on her part.

In world history news, today is V-E Day, or the anniversary of the end of World War II in Europe in 1945. As far as this relates to Daria, according to Mr. DeMartino all of his teaching supplies were manufactured prior to this date. Given Ms. Li's financial priorities, I don't think that's nearly as much as an exaggeration as you'd expect.

I'm saving the best for last, though, because it's National Give Someone a Cupcake Day and who wouldn't enjoy a sweet treat? Unless they're the "heart-smart" lima bean cupcakes Helen baked in "Jake of Hearts," that is.

Fanfic Update!

• Convergence on Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 13): "'Which was?' Quinn asked quietly. 'Like, I was sensing something,' Stacy answered."


• I feel very normal today, by whiteboycqrl (part 15): "i hate heat I hate it hate I hate it so much"


• Katie Huegel, by Meester_Lee (part 8): "Katie walked up to the entrance of Lawndale High and got in line to go inside. My second week at Lawndale High, she thought. Here goes."


• The Muliebrity, by janendaria4life (part 5): "About three days later Helen walked into the living room only to find Daria laying on the couch, arms over her chest. Sapped. Bags under her eyes."


• Spider Quinn 16 Tempest and Change, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "'So, where are you headed?' Daria asked. 'I could drive you?' 'The Historia at first,' Anna answered. 'Apparently, SpiderGirl is often on the roof.'"


• Strange How We Know Each Other, by riotsquirrrl (part 1): "Jane wiped the back of her hand against her sweaty forehead as she and Daria crossed the lush green lawns of Raft. 'What I don't understand is why I need to come to your extra credit session.'"

The Most Infamous Blimp in the World

I see that Daria has chosen to observe a moment of...something in honor of the Hindenburg, which exploded on this day in 1937. In addition to Daria's locker homage, the disaster was also referenced in "I Loathe a Parade" in an exchange between Tom and Daria:

Tom: It's like the Hindenburg.

Daria: Oh, the lack of humanity.

There's good news, however, for the staff at Lawndale High School because it's National Teacher’s Day! Of course, that doesn't make up for the lousy pay and the frustrating students and the corrupt principal, but...well, at least they get a special day to be miserable during?

I think it might be a good idea for them to celebrate Beverage Day, especially if the beverage in question is alcoholic. Jake's probably already way ahead of him with a martini, and Helen's drink of choice is most likely coffee in spite of Quinn's protests.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Ruth Buzzi and Jill Sobule.

Just Keep Jake Away from the Paper Towels!

Trent is ready to fight any fires that show up on International Firefighters Day, as long as those fires start before he falls asleep and are extinguished before he comes up with some song lyrics that he needs to write down. If he could just remember not to build any fires in the rooms that don't have fireplaces, Jane will probably be satisfied with his work.

If you'd like to celebrate Bird Day by getting yourself a new pet, be sure to get to Mr. Matthews's pet store before Quinn tries to feed them and loses one. On the other hand, you might be able to get a free canary if you check the mall's air filtration system later on.

May the Fourth be with you on Star Wars Day, or at least with those of you who are Star Wars geeks. There are a surprising number of Daria/Star Wars crossovers out there, considering the difference between the two, but that's fanfic for you!

Fanfic Update!

• Blur of the Night, by Captain_Morgan93 (COMPLETE!): "The sky over Lawndale was a sullen slab of gray, the kind of Saturday afternoon that made you want to crawl back into bed with a book and a grudge against the world."


• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 5): "The light, a cool, misty grey, filtered through the windows of the grease trap Daria and Jane had parked themselves at on Friday afternoon."


• The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 26): "'Temperatures are continuing to drop,' Janel said. That definitely wasn't good."


• Make It Tolerable, by avav3 (COMPLETE!): "'How can you stand this place?!' 'Um, ‘cause I’m one of the guards instead of the prisoners?'"


• Opposites Detract, by Bolshevitch (COMPLETE!): "Daria woke up from what she was confident had to be the worst nap ever. It felt like she’d been ripped from the arms of the Sandman with an air raid siren."

"Goo, goo!"

Although Evan Landon is just adorable, he isn't eligible to celebrate Baby Day because the kid would be almost thirty by now. Future Quinn's youngest from Daria's story in "Write Where It Hurts" might qualify, though, and there might even be more if she never got around to having her tubes tied.

The good news is that Evan is also celebrating National No Pants Day, or at least he is in the photo. I'm hoping that present day Evan is, in fact, wearing pants. Unlike Jake and Trent during "Daria!," where apparently pants were optional in spite of the hurricane.

Finally, it was on this day in 1863 that "Stonewall" Jackson was shot by friendly fire, but history does not relate whether or not the shots were retribution for his Johnnycakes.

Later, Tater!

Mr. O'Neill's head is even emptier than usual for Mr. Potato Head Day, if such a thing is actually possible. The good news is that, in this form, at least he'll be slightly more entertaining!

I see he stuck with his usual hairdo, though, but that's okay because it's Hairstyle Appreciation Day. I think that Jane appreciates her own hair much more than she used to ever since the dye incident, but I doubt she'll ever ask Daria for help if she wants to change it in the future.

At least she can count on Daria for an honest opinion on any hairstyle changes, and not just because it's Honesty Day. Daria doesn't hold her opinions back on any day, for any reason.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Ravenclaw: The Legend of Sporting Joe, by Meester_Lee (part 23): "Julia woke up with the sense that she was in a strange bed. Her mind shifted from sleepiness to full wakeful alert: where was she and why was she here?"


• Fake It to Break It, by avav3 (COMPLETE!): "The Sloane estate was quiet — too quiet — the silence broken only by the occasional shuffle of their Martha rushing through the kitchen to check on the roast, or the faint hiss of the tea kettle simmering to a boil."


• Funky Pretty, by MoleFromTheMinistry (part 5): "It was an average Friday morning. Daria and Jane were forced to attend this compulsory activity (some would say it was a chore, with the exception of missing class time) after making out the night prior."


• Heavenly wine and roses, by riotsquirrrl (part 6): "More than anything, Daria wishes that it could just be summer already. It’s been a week since she kissed Jane and lost Tom."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 15): "They left the Library through the QuinMillennial wing. 'Even this most modern part of the Library echoes the earlier parts,' Janara said."


• Opposites Detract, by Bolshevitch (part 4): "Finally, the school day was over, and Daria wondered why she couldn’t have spent the whole time in her room with a book."


• Spider Quinn 16 Tempest and Change, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Shortly afterwards, Quinn changed to SpiderGirl on the roof of the theater. The themes of change resonated with her, specially with the changes she had undergone since she got bit by that spider and after her father died."


• The Way Things Go, by Ravynstone (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer stared out the window of the Greyhound bus, watching the streets of Lawndale pass."

It's a Bird! It's a Lane!

Jane is up, up, and away for National Superhero Day, but I think she's taking her friend's job away. See, Daria has already said that "at night, I fight crime in a stretchy-stretchy costume" and I don't think she would appreciate the competition.

Meanwhile, let's hope that neither Quinn nor Andrea get it into their heads to celebrate Great Poetry Reading Day. On the other hand, I'd be happy to hear another poster contest gem from Jane and Daria...as long as Ms. Li and Mr. O'Neill don't get to it first.

All of the Daria characters who are in relationships should know that today is Kiss Your Mate Day and it's open season for smooches. Maybe someone should have told Daria that it was never Kiss Your Mate's Mate Day, but I suppose it's too late for that now.

Fandom News!

• Share your thoughts and predictions about the selection of a new pope.


• hal1776 has officially deleted all social media.

Quit Horsing Around!

I don't think Quinn quite understands the point of National Help A Horse Day, but kudos to her for never skipping arm day. I can't even imagine what the rest of the Fashion Club will say when they see what she's wearing, though.

Things will get even worse for her if she also decides to celebrate National No Makeup Day, although I'm not sure Quinn could cope with that kind of deprivation. Even if she's supposedly "the kind of person who doesn't really need makeup."

Finally, a very happy Alien Day to Artie, who will hopefully be celebrating here on Earth and not on some alien spaceship getting his pants nicely pressed. Daria could go back to the UFO convention, but if she tries to take her family along then Quinn will probably throw a horse at her.

Fanfic Update!

• Funky Pretty, by MoleFromTheMinistry (part 4): "It was faster than a bullet from a gun, quicker than the blinking of an eye. That electric jolt of dopamine entered both their brains, a rush of understanding finally was understood between the two."


• I (Don't) Want to Be a Part of It, by ladyevil (part 6): "'Every time I look at you I don’t understand!' Trent sang. 'Why you let the things you did get so out of hand? You'd have managed better if you'd had it planned. Why...' Trent coughed."


• Is it The Purge Yet?, by darialalalalala (part 1): "'Next on Sick, Sad, World.' Daria rolled her eyes and then switched the channel in hopes there was a channel that didn’t go on ad-break."


• Just a Girl, by Panwarcriminal (COMPLETE!): "Daria stood at the door of Jane’s apartment. She knew what Jane planned, if you could call just saying 'Let’s get dinner and see where the night goes' a plan, but Daria knew one thing was certain: she was going to come out to Jane."


• You Really Got a Hold on Me, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Tom sat in a booth at Pizza King, every few minutes taking bites when they weren't getting easily distracted into conversation with one another."

Welcome to the Fascist Club

It looks like the Fashion Club has chosen to take Fashion Revolution Day quite literally, so everyone had better be careful. The next person to wear last season's shoes might find themselves in front of a firing squad!

I hope that Daria's lab rat from her project with Kevin is having a pleasant and Brian Taylor-free World Day for Laboratory Animals. At the very least, I hope he doesn't have to run any mazes if he doesn't want to.

Jane, meanwhile, will be happy to know that today is the anniversary of the birth of artist Willem de Kooning in 1904. Perhaps Trent could celebrate by getting her a signed photograph of the man that doesn't misspell his name!

Fandom News!

• Shady Doorags reviews "Dye Dye My Darling."


• psychotol discusses the latest news about Nigel Farage.

A Quinnup Girl!

Quinn is looking very retro for National Pinup Day, and I can just imagine how the three Js would react to seeing this. No shock that she's on the phone, though. Quinn has the same hobbies in any decade.

Perhaps Tom and Daria can have another "morgue chat" about Vladimir Lenin, since today is the anniversary of his birth in 1870. I'm sure Jane would prefer that they didn't, however. I think she has a point.

It would at least be more interesting than talking about Immanuel Kant, also born on this day in 1724. The "dry, ponderous intellectual" put Tom to sleep, so I can't imagine the conversation would be very exciting.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria in "The Gap", by SisterCatherine (COMPLETE!): "Though she would be loath to admit it, Daria had been excited for college. The change of pace was direly needed, and after learning that she wouldn’t have to part with Jane, she was as close to eager as she really could be."


• Daria Morgendorffer vs Daphne Blake, by kllngjk2 (COMPLETE!): "On this afternoon, Daria Morgendorffer is walking on the street of Lawndale, her hometown. Due to the fact that both the weather and sun are pleasant, the lady decided to take some fresh air."


• Opposites Detract, by Bolshevitch (part 3): "If nothing else, Daria felt reassured by the fact that clique rigidity in the lunch room was a multiversal constant."


• Quinn Gets Medieval, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Artie was at the entrance to Medieval Times wearing a Star Fleet uniform and haggling with the host."


• Spider Quinn 16 Tempest and Change, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "A minute later, they were on top of the Historia."


• Troubles of Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- especially for you, Daria, right?'"


• Funky Pretty, by MoleFromTheMinistry (part 3): "'Hey.' Tom sat down at the Pizza King with Jane on a Thursday evening. She called him on his phone the night prior, asking to talk about something serious."