Just Keep Jake Away from the Paper Towels!

Trent is ready to fight any fires that show up on International Firefighters Day, as long as those fires start before he falls asleep and are extinguished before he comes up with some song lyrics that he needs to write down. If he could just remember not to build any fires in the rooms that don't have fireplaces, Jane will probably be satisfied with his work.

If you'd like to celebrate Bird Day by getting yourself a new pet, be sure to get to Mr. Matthews's pet store before Quinn tries to feed them and loses one. On the other hand, you might be able to get a free canary if you check the mall's air filtration system later on.

May the Fourth be with you on Star Wars Day, or at least with those of you who are Star Wars geeks. There are a surprising number of Daria/Star Wars crossovers out there, considering the difference between the two, but that's fanfic for you!

Fanfic Update!

• Blur of the Night, by Captain_Morgan93 (COMPLETE!): "The sky over Lawndale was a sullen slab of gray, the kind of Saturday afternoon that made you want to crawl back into bed with a book and a grudge against the world."


• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 5): "The light, a cool, misty grey, filtered through the windows of the grease trap Daria and Jane had parked themselves at on Friday afternoon."


• The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 26): "'Temperatures are continuing to drop,' Janel said. That definitely wasn't good."


• Make It Tolerable, by avav3 (COMPLETE!): "'How can you stand this place?!' 'Um, ‘cause I’m one of the guards instead of the prisoners?'"


• Opposites Detract, by Bolshevitch (COMPLETE!): "Daria woke up from what she was confident had to be the worst nap ever. It felt like she’d been ripped from the arms of the Sandman with an air raid siren."

No Fires in the Rooms Without Fireplaces!

Trent is prepped and ready for International Firefighters Day, but he's not really the kind of fireman who inspires me with confidence. Yes, he's awake, but you just know he's going to get distracted trying to come up with another rhyme for "moth to a flame" and let the whole house burn down.

Today is also Star Wars Day, and if you have to ask why May Fourth is Star Wars Day then you clearly are not geeky enough for this fandom.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria: In Another World?, by starwater09 (part 11): "Daria once again found herself spending the day alone from her friends...God was it strange to admit, but she did have friends (as in plural) now."


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (parts 1 - 4): "Lawndale, just outside Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, was a very peaceful and almost perfect place for most people to settle and start a good family." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)


• A Lane’s Return to Lawndale, by cfardellbrenorenz29 (part 1): "Summer Lane looked at Lawndale from the roadside. She usually hated returning to the place. This time was no different."

May the Fire be With You

Trent's on duty for International Firefighters Day, but I wouldn't count on him to put out many fires. Even if he stayed awake long enough to help, he'd probably get distracted trying to think of a good rhyme for "flame." Then again, he may have gotten some practice at home. After all, that "not building a fire in the rooms that don't have fireplaces" rule must have come from somewhere. On another note, am I the only one who sees a resemblance between Trent and this cake?

Today is also Star Wars Day (get it? May the Fourth?), and if you want some Daria/Star Wars crossovers then you could start with Fanfiction.net's Star Wars and Daria Crossovers page.

Fandom News!

• Speculate about Daria's non-Lawndale High friends.


• Charles RB found out what, among other things, Bernstein did after Daria.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted: Shiva's Rachel as Jodie's Twin sister and tafka's Social Distancing.


• Talk about the Jodie TV show you'd like to see.


• Share strange relationships in cartoons.


• Discuss alter-egos you find inspiring.


• Share music that gives you chills.

How About "Narcoleptic Fireman" For a New Band Name?

Trent's all set for International Firefighters Day, but I don't think I'd trust him to save my house. If he didn't fall asleep holding the hose then the flames would inspire him to compose a new song about moths.

Today is also Star Wars Day for all you Star Wars fans out there. Judging by the not-insignificant number of Daria/Star Wars crossover fanfics out there I think it's safe to say there are quite a few in fandom!

Fanfic Update!

• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 19): "The 4 man witchfinder team picked the lock on the back garden gate, dressed in high visibility jackets, hardhats with the logo of a local power company, things that might be dismissed as while unusual, could be fairly legitimate in their presence."


• Fork In The Road (Pasta's Never-ending Ideas Thread!), by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "No matter how much time passed, Lawndale never changed. Brittany Taylor kept a steady pace as she jogged down the block, the crisp morning air energizing her for the day ahead."


• Graduations, by dmsfanman (part 2): "It was late on Wednesday morning when Daria stood in the kitchen of her university apartment and surveyed the scene. She rubbed her temples. This headache was really annoying her."


• A Griffin Story: Pregnancy, by Meester_Lee (parts 7 and 8): "'I've been waiting for over fifty years,' said Alcie. Linda gulped. 'Is she going to be a witch?' she asked fearfully." (Part 8)


• The More Things Change, by Two-Eyed Charlie (parts 3 and 4): "Saturday morning greeted me with all the pleasantness of a terrorist attack." (Part 4)


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 14 and 15): "'Antigua?' Sandi said. 'Where the hell is Antigua?' 'Island in the Carribean,' Charles said, as the other members of the Legion climbed into the Gridrunner behind him." (Part 15)

Geek on, My Friends!

Happy Towel Day, hoopy froods! The holiday is of course in honor of the late Douglas Adams and the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy series. Mrs. Johanssen knows where her towel is; do you have yours?

This is also the anniversary of the first installment in the Star Wars movie series, A New Hope, which opened on this day in 1977. Overall, not a bad assortment of geeky events, considering it's Geek Pride Day on top of everything else!

Fanfic Update!

• Really? I'm a Star!, by DIsaac (part 1): "DARIA Maxwell (30, Former star of Daria. Since the show her career has been good enough to own a mansion but she is looking for her next big hit): What about the space ninja?"


• You'll Know When You Have Kids of Your Own, by metameric1 (part 6): "'Hey, Ani,' mumbled Rusty. Out slumming? 'Hey. Cool guitar,' smiled Ani. 'You never know what'll turn up in these stores. Looks like a good Les Paul Junior style axe.'"

Fighting Fires with the Force...Hey, That Would Make a Good Song Lyric!

Trent is ready to put out any of those fires the Lanes aren't supposed to start in rooms without fireplaces, and that's good because it's International Firefighters Day. I just hope he can stay awake long enough to finish the job.

For all those geeks out there, it's May the Fourth (be with you), which means it's Star Wars Day! I know there are a handful of Star Wars/Daria crossovers out there, but I haven't gotten around to pulling them together. If you've got a favorite, share it in the comments!

Fandom News!

• Shiva shares an anonymous review that got under his skin.


• What was your worst job ever? Share your horror stories here!


• Why not trust women with no/few girlfriends? Snow-Kitty has some thoughts on the issue.


• Post your guesses on the length of Daria's skirt.


• breitasparrow has a question concerning PC first-person shooter games.

Put Out Fires He Will!

Happy International Firefighters' Day! I don't know about you, but Trent is probably the last person I'd rely on to put out any fires at my house. If he didn't sleep through the alarm, he'd get distracted by the flames and start working on a song while the house crumbled into ashes.

Today is also Star Wars Day, because (say it with me) May the Fourth be with you. Now everyone groan with me, too.

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Luchadore (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Now, Quinn, what do you see here?' Mrs. Manson held up a silhouetted image of two people in conversation, which Quinn was quick to point out. 'That's right. Can you make up a little story about what it is they're discussing?'"


• Creepy Things Kids Say... (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So Helen...' Linda Griffin said to her frenemy at the next barstool, 'What's the creepiest thing that your children have ever said or done?'"


• Death Comes to Lawndale, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 1 - 12): "Dammit! Amy cursed. Where the hell did I leave my glasses?"(Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12)


• Glasses and Lipstick (chapter 3), by oni (part 2): "Sandi looked embarrassed as she glanced at both sisters. Quinn's frown slowly faded away as she watched as her club leader's insecurity began to seep out of her usual dominating persona. '...I want to talk to your mom.'"


• I Hate You So Much Right Now, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Miss Morgendorffer. Do you mind if I come in for a moment? I'm Lex Luthor.'"


• The Lucid One, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Quinn Morgendorffer glided into Cranberry Commons like a wandering spirit come to rest. Her brown suede shoes seemed to barely touch the gleaming floors, and the panorama of commerce before her made her heart soar."



• Mackbeth, by SinisterExaggerator (part 6): "MACKBETH: As far as I'm concerned, a captain sits. You mad, bro?"


• The Punk and the Snark, by Shiva (part 7): "After putting it off for several days through stonewalling tactics, Daria had been forced to relent and conceded to Helen's demands to meet her first official boyfriend."


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 6): "As she finished putting on her jacket, Daria looked back at Kevin's limp naked passed out body, shook her head and said: 'What a pity. Two heads and neither of them work..'"


• ST: A Tale of Temporal Gifting, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "Commander Natima Dacet was in her quarters meditating. She was thinking over the events that had occurred since the Enterprise had travelled through time. 'Oralius, guide me in this situation so that the right timeline may be restored' she thought."


• Unnamed story (IC Faceswapping), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Quinn opened her eyes in refreshed delight as the first rays of dawn pierced her bedroom window."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'It was an...interesting story, Daria,' Timothy O'Neal said, glancing up from the stapled pile of pages in his lap 'But was it really necessary to portray Mr. DeMartino as a raving berzerker of the Chaos god Khorne?'"


• Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 13): "Though Daria found herself thinking of a certain little brother and had the mental image of Jane's older brother 'watching' over him. Trent was many things, and inspired strange feelings that left her very uncomfortable. But a responsible caregiver was a bit of a stretch."


• Vivian, by ST91 (part 9): "'Because it is a lost cause, Ms. Blake. These documents are final, you have waived all rights over your children! There is no way to reverse the judgment. Now excuse me but I have to ask you to leave, soon there will be a meeting of the partners of this firm and I have to participate. Good day.' said Mrs. Davis, indicating the end of the speech and pointing to the door of her office."

Hey, What Rhymes with "Fire"?

Today is International Firefighters' Day, and I don't know about you, but Trent is probably the last person I'd want to rely on to save my house from burning. If he didn't fall asleep holding the hose, the flames would probably inspire him to wander off and write down song lyrics.

For geeks everywhere (and aren't we all, deep down?), today is also Star Wars Day. Because it's May the Fourth. Get it? Ah, Jedi puns.

Fanfic Update!

• Apathymorphs: The Invasion, by JoeMerl (part 1): "My name is Jane. That’s my first name, obviously. I can’t tell you my last name. The Controllers are everywhere. Everywhere. And if they knew my full name, they could find me and my friends, and then...well, let’s just say I don’t want them to find me. I won’t even tell you where I live. You’ll just have to trust that it’s a real place, a real town. Maybe even your town."


• The Cats Will Play, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Bump pushed her head in, further opening the door to reveal a small plastic bag filled with a green herb. She grabbed the bag in her mouth and pulled it out onto the floor. Sissy grasped the other end and both pulled while also clawing at the plastic. In less than a minute, the bag ripped and the contents spilled out. Both cats stopped and inhaled deeply as the scent of catnip filled the air. It was going to be a good night."


• A Distant Lawndale (Part Two), by Arena del Sur (part 5): "The next morning Lawndale looked like a white desert. The view of the nearby houses surrounded with snow was shocking. Winter hadn't came yet, and this snowfall was a preview of its future rigours. I went downstairs to have breakfast, and turned on the radio waiting for a particular news. It was official, Lawndale High will be closed today. However, I was worried enough to celebrate the news. I put another sugar tart in the toaster and kept on waiting."



• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch 3 Rise Above the Bollocks, by Shiva (parts 3 - 5): "'Hey Ethan.' Daria suddenly said, 'You want another piercing?' 'Why you ask Daria?' Ethan asked, curious about the oddball question. 'I want a belly ring and I have enough cash for a two-for-one deal.' Ethan noticed that Josh had dropped Axl’s book in his lap and was staring at Daria in total shock; never in a million YEARS did he think that the Queen Bitch of Lawndale would ever do anything like this... ever!" (Part 4) (Part 5)


• General Semantics, Private Angst, by gwrtheyrn (part 42): "Daria Morgendorffer 3 had been having a rather quiet conversation with Jane Lane in her hotel room, but then something changed. The red-headed desk clerk, Kunegunde Morgen, was in the room, as if she had joined them some time before. She and Jane were dressed in identical blue-skirted, sailor-bloused schoolgirl uniforms. Each looked quite a bit younger than she had earlier, like a girl rather than a woman. Ms Morgen, and Jane, with such eerily synchronised choreography that one might think one mind animated the two of them, were performing hyperkinetic, almost spastic dance moves, and singing in unison...."


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 10): "Daria stared out at nothing. 'That’s not it. I just don’t want to deal with them anymore.' 'Maybe you don’t have to deal with.' 'I always do. I always do, and look what happens. I can’t do that anymore.' 'We can stop the trip, Daria. We can go somewhere else. Somewhere more normal.' Daria closed her eyes. 'Please.'"


• Ironed Silk (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Jane lay on her back and grabbed the bedsheets tightly as waves of pleasure washed over her. She vaguely heard herself moan and her mind was blank, feeling nothing but the primal desire running through her every vein."


• The Lamp and Daria, by DeacBlue (parts 1 and 2): "'Oooo, like Aladdin's lamp?' Jane was grinning mischievously. 'Why don't you rub it?' 'I've got something for you to rub, Jane,' Daria snarked, 'but I do need to get the dust off of it.' She took out a handkerchief and wiped it off. Tried to, rather, for light and smoke erupted from the object, forcing a startled Daria to drop it and step back, while a silhouette, then a solid body (or at least one from the torso up) formed from the smoke. 'Blessed Mortal!' a deep voice reverberated around the room. 'You have freed me from the lamp! According to the Law of Solomon, you are due three wishes!'" (Part 2)


• Mack Daddy (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Kevin awoke with a start when his hair was pulled hard by the person, nay the God who had finally showed him what it meant to be a man."



• A New Beginning, by LadieT (part 6): "Daria could feel Quinn tense up as the living room filled up with people. Daria looked over at Monique, her eyes pleading for help. Monique nodded and asked everyone to follow her into the kitchen. Stacy reached over and gave Quinn's hand a gentle squeeze before leaving. Quinn tightened her grip around her big sister. 'I'm not going anywhere, Quinn.' Daria whispered. 'Yeah, right - maybe you should have felt that way ten years ago.' Quinn said with venom in her voice."


• Runaway Daria: Fallout Lawndale Edition, by Vukodlak (part 6): "She held her for several minutes while her parents ate but soon she started fussing. 'Umm what do I do?' Daria was hoping this didn’t turning into full-scale balling. 'She wants your attention just talk to her.' Jack explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 'About what?' Little Katherine was starting to flail and Daria was ready to panic. 'Doesn’t matter just talk to her.' Daria nodded to her mother’s suggestion and turned to look at her baby sister. She began reciting passages from memory from her Big Book of Science volume eight and much to her surprise she had the baby’s rapt attention."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 16, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "This came as startling news to Sandi. She always knew Ms. Barch was a weird nutcase but... a liar? 'She made me this... werewolf?' Sandi muttered in disbelief, 'She did this to me?' 'Yes.' He paused, '...and according to my research, if you kill the werewolf who bit you. You will be lifted from the curse forever.' He smiled."


• TDJS Ch. 2 Interlude, by ST91 (parts 2 and 3): "Dario exhaled deeply. 'Jane I must tell you something ... something very important but first I want you to know that I didn’t want hide this thing from you ; it just slipped my mind to tell you because it's something that I'm used to doing .' 'Ok.' Jane said with a touch of concern. 'Tell me.' 'See Jane, I'm busy every Saturday because I am going with my father to a psychiatrist.'" (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Trent wandered into the kitchen in search of food and almost ran into Jane's outstretched hand. She held a large clump of plastic purple Easter grass, and her expression was unreadable."


• Whoops (Iron Chef: Kevin Morgendorffer), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "A few minutes later Tom was slowly descending the stairs creeping along as quietly as he could. He struggled with the door for a minute before it finally opened. His heart sank when he found himself face to face with Kevin... who was coming home just after four in the morning. 'I won’t tell if you won’t.' Tom figured this was a fair deal. 'Tell what T-dwag?' Tom wasn’t sure if Kevin was agreeing to the mutual silence or if he genuinely had no idea. Either way Tom felt safe he’d gotten away with it."


• Who Watches the Legion?, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "So Charles and I thought about it all. The impression we had was that the Iraq War was about to be lost - the newest idiot plan was a 'surge' and who knows how that would have worked out? Gates told us the Iraqi government was not stable enough to hold on its own except with a massive US military commitment. And maybe, they hoped, we could do something."

This Is Not the Blog You're Looking For

Today is Star Wars Day! You know, "May the Fourth...." Get it? Yeah, I know. Don't blame me; I didn't come up with it.

There don't seem to be any Star Wars-related alter egos out there, but I thought this image of Daria was appropriately space-ish. Feel free to mentally replace her outfit with Leia's gold bikini outfit while I post the latest fanfic:

• Daria/Dorian Ch. 15: Summertime Blues, by LadieT (part 1): ""'I take it that I wasn't the only one who had a long night,' Jane said. 'No, but Quinn helped me finally stop thinking enough to want to fall asleep.' 'Really - how did she pull that off?' Jane asked. 'By being there.'"


• Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur (part 3): "Friday. I know it is madness to keep this journal but it gives me a strange thrill to do so. Let me state with a sob that today my D. was reading on the so-called 'piazza,' but her mother and some other woman were around all the time. Of course, I might have sat there in the rocker and pretended to read. Playing safe, I kept away, for I was afraid that the horrible, insane, ridiculous and pitiful tremor that palsied me might prevent me from making my entrada with any semblance of casualness."


• A Demonstration of Anger, Part Two, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "I have doubts. For if the Plan doesn't work, then the fate of the entire Omniverse will rest in the hands of whatever is destined to rise to confront Judith. And as we are learning, all too late, Destiny is just unreliable enough that Judith may yet emerge victorious in the end. And should that happen, everything will burn." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• A Different Look at 1111, by cfardell_Brenorenz29: "'So, have you wondered what other previous owners this house has had?' Jane asked. Some thoughts connected in Daria's mind. 'Actually, I think one of the previous owners was a stage magician.' Jane was surprised. 'Really? What makes you think that?' Daria got out of the seat. 'I'll show you,' she said. She walked over to the internal door closest to the external door."


• General Semantics, Private Angst, by gwrtheyrn (part 38): "Jim Vitale pursed his lips, and scratched the angle of his jaw. 'Ms Morgendorffer, the Empire's attack on Mars has reached a curious stage. If conditions were normal, it would have to be called a failure.... Yes, I thought that would interest you. But that failure now throws every human being in the Solar System into deadly danger.'"


• The Girl by the Oak (GlitterShrooms's Crazy Ideas/One-Shots thread), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "No matter who the girl was, she had to be new to Lawndale High since Jane had never seen her before. The girl in question was remarkably pale, and had auburn hair that went all the way to her waist. What caught Jane's attention the most though was the few tears forming behind her glasses as she read a paper-back book. For some uncharacteristic reason, Jane decided to introduce herself to the new girl. 'It's hard,' said the auburn hair girl to Jane as she approached the old oak."


• God Save The Esteem ep29: Daria's High Score, by Charles RB (part 2): "'I ran away so my father wouldn’t smack me one, but I had to come back home so he did,' said Jake, for whom Memory Lane was part of an inner-city ghetto. 'Well SCREW YOU OLD MA- Hang on a second.' He rushed to the phone, dialled a number, and roared down the line: 'SCREW YOU OLD MAN I GOT MARRIED, RAISED SOME GREAT KIDS AND MY ELDEST TOTALLY GOT LAID LAST NIGHT oh hi Mum, could you put Dad on?'"


• Judith's Nightmare ('Flashpoints': A Worldburner Mini-Fics Thread), by the Quiet reader (COMPLETE!): "She walks into what was once Winsor Hills Resort. Now it is a cathedral of the horrors that await her. Judith opens the doors to see a band setting up and what she saw she couldn't unsee. NegaJane was being encased in what appeared to be liquid fiberglass that was now hardening. Some kind of non conductive metal was used to hold her up as well as spill her black blood into a bowl which the band would take turns drinking."


• The Last Word ('Flashpoints': A Worldburner Mini-Fics Thread), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Kevin watched as the world caught on fire, and yelled: 'You SUCK, Judith! YOU SUCK YOU SUCK YOU S-'"


• LLH 'Mini' - 'The First Battle of Legion Tower', by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Thousands upon thousands of flame-Judiths disappeared in loud, violent explosions that peppered the early-morning sky like a fireworks display in just six seconds... but that was just a minute fraction of the millions of flame-forms converging upon them from every angle. Far, far, far too many to escape... ...until the wall of flame-forms exploded into a miles-long tunnel of glowing flame!" (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 8: Adult Supervision, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'How are you holding up, amiga?' Jane asked, putting down her sketchbook. 'Better than I thought I would, but it’s still freaking me out.' 'Want to talk about it?' 'Not really.' A pause. 'I guess it’s just that I couldn’t do anything to stop it. Everything happened so fast. First him…and then Tad…and then I woke up in the hospital. I couldn’t react.'"


• Man of the House (My Best Friend 2), by Smijey (part 2): "I don't usually dream. I only dream when I'm drunk. I only drink when I hear the Old Man, giving me hateful remarks on my life, ranting about how much better he was than me, or just chuckling at the misery my life is. I dream an awful lot."


• The Message (Long Story Challenge 3, Round 2), by Shull Bitter: "He was trying to withdraw, he really was. But she just seemed so lonely, especially now that Jane had a boyfriend. He tried to set rules for himself. 1. He'd never be the first one to contact her. He would reply, but not initiate new conversations. 2. He would discourage their correspondence in a variety of subtle ways, from never giving details of his own life to being flippant or as distant as he could be while being polite. 3. If she needed him, he'd be there. 4. He wouldn't exploit her. The rules didn't help much. They were impossible to follow."


• Not So Different 12: Misery Misses Company, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Sonny stared appraisingly at the being who had provided half his genes and, at least in theory, half his upbringing. There was nothing to say. He removed himself from his sleeping bag, dressed, and emerged from the tent to join his father, who clapped him on the back with appalling heartiness. 'Isn't nature great!' Jake inhaled deeply and then put his arm around Sonny's shoulder again and gave him a squeeze. 'And here we are together, father and son, the way it's supposed to be, getting food for the tribe!'"


• Not So Different 13: 'When Your Soul Is In My Soul's Stead', by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Anyway, the bottom line was the same as always. Tommy Sherman was as devoid of appeal as Sonny had expected him to be, but Sonny wasn’t going to change who he was because of that. He certainly wasn’t going to start charging to the rescue of his classmates, any of them."


• Not So Different 14: Solidarity, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'Listen', said Jane. ‘I haven’t forgotten the time when you told me you were never going to collaborate with me on an artwork again, because you’re not in my league artistically. But it’s not doing the actual work I need you for. I’m looking for a concept. And the plan is to find a negative concept, and negative concepts are your best thing.’ ‘Thanks.’"


• Quinn of Hearts, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "Pizza Prince will be closed for two weeks for renovations in order to serve our customers better. We look forward to seeing you again when we reopen! The girls' eyes went straight from the sign on the door to the window above it. All they could see was a dark restaurant, deserted and silent. 'They can do that?!' Jane cried desperately."


• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 47): "Jane continued to look shell-shocked after the cruiser drove away. 'Welcome to Boston, Jane,' Daria said teasingly. 'You just met your first crackpot.'"


• Rude Awakening Episode 4: It's That Kind of Day, by DIsaac (parts 1 - 3): "JANE: We are just one step away from a crazy house. MACK: You all are just joking around, right? BURNOUT: Oh, Michael Mackenzie, Forgive him for he knows not of what he about to walk into." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Sacked (Iron Chef: Mack Snaps), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "Kevin: 'Listen to yourself, Mack. I don't know what's going on in your head. We've been buds since high school, we've worked our way through the ranks of the LFC, we've won the tag titles. Heck, you won the world title, and I couldn't have been happier for you! Through thick and thin, we've had each other's backs. But I don't know where you're coming from anymore. You're definitely not the Michael Mackenzie I used to know.'"


• Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "Daria shook her head: 'What a waste.' 'True that. Well, it's time for you to go punch in and connect with your Godness on an official basis.'"


• Summer Lovin' (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "They ran into each other during summer break. One sarcastic comment led to another, and before they knew it they were in his new old car, making out in front of the Pizza King. He invited her back to his house. She surprised them both by accepting."


• Surprise Buttsex! ('Flashpoints': A Worldburner Mini-Fics Thread), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "For three whole days, the King of the Gods abstained – and, being the canny bastard he was (after all, being in charge of a whole group of horny, backstabbing and downright smug, yet sexy deities who could get their freak on better than an entire season of an Aaron Spelling prime-time drama required being quick on your feet - and a refractory period measured in microseconds) he figured out how..."


• Unnamed story (AUs, Brain Farts and other stuff), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "'Every outfit you've put on, you've walked out here and asked if it makes you look fat. I tell you that it doesn't, but you change clothes anyway.' Quinn closed the magazine and looked at the half open closet door. 'Why is that?' 'Why is what?' Tiffany asked. 'Why is it you don't believe me when I say that you don't look fat in whatever outfit you have on?'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mack Snaps), by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "The three girls looked around as the sound of funky '70s guitar began echoing through the hallways. The other students also looked puzzled as the music got louder and louder. And then...there he was. Stylish black platform shoes, navy blue bell bottoms, orange wing collared shirt open halfway down his muscular chest. Stylish black leather jacket. Aviator sunglasses, a well styles Afro on his head and a luxuriant mustache on his face. Every move lithe and smooth, exuding confidence, unlimited virility, and an infinite capacity for badassery."

Indiana Trent and the Band That's Thinking About Changing Its Name

Sixty-six years ago today, film writer-producer-director George Lucas was born. Thanks to him, we have more Daria/Star Wars crossovers than you can shake a lightsaber at. I think we can stop with the crossovers, there are enough now, please. We don't have enough Daria/Indiana Jones crossovers, however. My favorite IJ quote? It's from Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade: "We do not follow maps to buried treasure, and X never, ever marks the spot."

PPMB

• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy (Part 18.5): All three walked together through the field and remained side by side. Neither human said anything, and Scarlett couldn’t detect any discernible thoughts from the cat. Suddenly the field gave way to a city street and the three stopped. The homes around them appeared abandoned and damaged. Most of the cars that were appeared damaged and covered with a film of dust. The girl looked at one house and her mouth dropped open as she recognized the home of her friend, Kristy Barton. We’re in Lawndale... but why?
• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious, by Jim North (continued): "My specialties are biology and nanotechnology." Ted reached into a pocket on his lab coat and pulled out a packaged pair of sterilized gloves, tore the plastic seal, and put them on. "Speaking of which, I heard that one of you has gotten a nasty little bite from our ambulatory deceased!"
• NEWER! Eye of the Beholder, by Yogi (Part 1): “This,” said Helen Morgendorffer, putting a sheet of paper full of neatly formatted text down on the table “Is an example of an ideal resume for college and scholarship admissions.” Daria resisted the urge to yawn, knowing it would only make things worse. She did not want to spend Saturday morning like this. Granted, she didn’t really have anything planned for this weekend, or for any weekend for that matter, but listening to her mother lecture her on her lack of activities was getting rather old. “And THIS,” Helen continued, putting a sheet of paper with much less text beside the first “Is YOUR resume."
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 46: Shields Up, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 3): “For this next project,” Janet noted, “you’ll be working in pairs.” Janet had thought of a number of things to say to this recruiter woman that Skinny mentioned was interested in Finn, that useless male. He did not deserve to have such people interested in him. The XY was proof enough of that. But, as she was thinking up the things, she realized she had no idea who this recruiter was... So her approach needed to be different, and that’s when she settled for the one weapon a teacher had: grades.
• From the Darkness: A Young Artist's Dream, by Civanfan (COMPLETE!): My first impression of Lawndale was a fine image of picture-perfect suburbia. Boring. I was supposed to meet up with whats-her-face at Pizza Prince at noon, but apparently she wasn't under the same impression. I was considering whipping out my knife and carving a Paul Klee imitation into the table, when I heard a voice call me by name. She, an attractive woman of about twenty-seven, had finally showed up twenty minutes late in worn blue jeans, a plaid shirt, and a smock with wet clay all over it. Her hair was in a polka-dot kerchief, and from the look on her face, I knew the first words out of her mouth would be an apology. "I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry!" She covered my hand in clay when she shook it. "I was working on a piece for a charity auction, and I suddenly remembered this interview." I shrugged. That's art, I said.
• The Game Called Life, by Trscroggs (continued): "What the hell happened anyway?” “Somebody made a wish,” the Old Man said, “on a greater artifact, while standing at a reality fulcrum, during a celestial alignment.”
• NEW! A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (Part 11): “So, what's Kevin's number?” Daria had tried to make it a joke, but her voice took on a nasty edge. Colleen's smile didn't change, but the tone of the conversation somehow did. “Careful, Daria. If you ask that question again, I just might answer it. And I'm not sure either of us could handle that.”
  
• Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): Daria sighed deeply as she leafed through the paper. "Cheer up, amiga," Jane said. "It's just one summer of slave labor, and then you're back to the old college grind, right?"
• Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): "You know, there's one thing about this satellite that worries me."

Staying Cool

Trent reminds us at right that today is National Firefighters Day, and glad we are of it. Thank you, firemen everywhere!

I read somewhere that this is also Star Wars Day ("May the Fourth Be With You!"). Lame, but there it is.

Greenpeace celebrates its 38th birthday today, which is relevant in part here because Daria was originally conceived to be a Greenpeace fan.

Alice Liddell (rhymes with "fiddle") was born this day 158 years ago. You know her better as Alice in Wonderland, as she was the inspiration for those stories. Thank you!

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• EVEN NEWEREST! Before the Deprogramming, by Kristen Bealer (Part 1): The last thing Jane wanted to do when she got home from Glenfield Middle School every day was baby-sit her niece and nephew, but no one else was available. Trent was always busy with his new "band," which had no drummer and still hadn't produced a single song. Wind only came home when his wife Claudia threw him out, which happened frequently but not predictably enough to rely on. No one had seen Penny in three years, although Jane was reasonably sure she was still somewhere in Central America. As for Jane's parents, well...they only showed up when they were least expected, not when they were most needed. Even at thirteen, Jane knew that all too well.
  
• NEWER! The Candidate, by Liz Ruiz (Part 2): Quinn took a last look around her backyard before she took a seat on one of the patio chairs. Even though she had thoroughly prepared for that meeting she still felt uneasy. For one thing, she hadn't any idea of the identity of the person that her husband will be leading into the backyard at any moment now. She would have felt much better if she had known just the gender of her guest. Sometimes you just had to leave some things to fate, she supposed.
• NEW! A Family Deal, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "Okay," said Jake, "I'm going play a game of hearts with my beautiful wife and my two great kids." "Hearts?" Daria said. "Poker or nothing." Helen nodded. "It's a waste of time if you're not playing for money."
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 45: Quarter Past Midnight, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): He knew that, if he went over to Jane’s now, he’d hate himself. He’d hate himself as he talked to her, listened to her fears about colleges, fears Finn knew Jane had. Hate himself when he pulled her close, feeling her rapid heartbeat and shallow breathing. And, for the first time, he’d hate the love-making they’d do after he soothed her.
• EVEN NEWEREST! The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 27): "I thought that Pat Seven would try to call me, but I guess he remembered that I wasn't getting any mail," said Quinn. "I mean, I swore to him that I still wanted messages but that I was grounded and that I couldn't answer any of them. Mom would have probably dumped him off the phone if he did call. Stupid Mom. I mean, if Pat stops going out with me, it looks like I've lost him...!" "But you weren't going out with him at all," Jill said. "You just wanted to go to the Yacht Club."
  
• NEWER! The Smiling Menace, by Roentgen (COMPLETE! despite it being part 6 of 58): "I'm attempting to keep an ancient artifact lost in the Time Wars from falling into the wrong hands... the TOOTHBRUSH OF RASILLON!" The item appeared on the viewscreen, along with awe-invoking incidental music. It was a toothbrush, and damn, it was a fine-looking toothbrush. Nice bristles. Good, sturdy handle. Gallifreyan engraving. A real classic. "That is one sweet sweet toothbrush," Quinn said.
• NEWEST! Unnamed story (Three-peat! New Ideas Thread Wins Again!), by Trscroggs (COMPLETE!): "Damnit, I thought killing those two knuckleheads would be a good thing!" Daria yelled in frustration.
  

Moar Aprl Phule N00Z!!11!!111!

This post will fill up as the day goes on, so check back when possible.

Brother Grimace just reminded me of a little prank he pulled a year ago that almost sent me into Intensive Care. Such a booger. Very glad he's still around because I'm going to drop carnivorous ants in his pants at some undefined point in the future. Love you, man!

Richard Lobinske has just announced that he is going to rewrite his epic Falling into College series with all of the Daria characters as undead flesh-eating ghouls, as per the recent Pride and Prejudice and Zombies novel. Not to be outdone, Roentgen and Brother Grimace announced they were going to rewrite the entire Legion of Lawndale Heroes epic in the same manner, then were stunned to discover that Kristen Bealer had already done so. Rumor is that the dispute will be settled by dance-off instead of arm-wrestling, once it became known that Kristen could bench-press 400 lbs.

Kara Wild has left Daria fandom to write My Little Pony slashfic. Probably for the best.

smk has announced she is changing her name to SMK because of problems with her spell-checker.

Australian Daria fans are being asked to have their fanfiction and fan art appear upside down on the Internet in order to allow fans in the northern hemisphere to view their work in the correct perspective. So far no one has complained.

PPMB updates on the 4/1 situation may be found here.

ALERT! Angelinhel has started an April Fool's Day Iron Chef on PPMB! Go and see!

N00Z UPDAT!!!

• Jim North has cooties. Ugly ones. Click here and see.
  
• South American and South African Daria fans have asked whether they, too, should turn their fanworks upside down for the benefit of those of a northern hemisphere persuasion. They have been told no, this is an April Fool joke on Australia, but they objected so much to being left out that they too are now mandated to turn their fanworks upside down.
• Jim North's cooties have destroyed New Jersey. Details on these and other stories at twenty past the hour.
• Liz Ruiz wants moobs.
• PPMB is in mourning now that the last man-whore in North America is retiring.
• A link to artwork for Kara Wild's first My Little Pony porn novel has been posted above. NSFW or anything else. But you'll click it anyway. You know you will.
• Anne D. Bernstein has posted new artwork. This is not actually an April Fool thing, but enjoy it anyway.
• Jim North's cooties are now on strike and demanding a dental plan.
• NEW! Here is a review of Daria 2: The Curse of the Misery Chick, which came out last year. See if you agree with the reviewer.
  

Stay tuned for further updates. You may of course add your own news updates to Comments below.

DON'T PANIC!

Yes, today is Towel Day, one of many special celebrations this day before Memorial Day. Towel Day commemorates the great comedy SF works of Douglas Adams (Hitchhiker's Guide series).

The image at left is the only pic I can find anywhere that shows Daria with a towel, so this is now the official unofficial Daria Celebrates Towel Day Image. Maybe someone can post a clearer picture. It's from the start of IIFY?, before the ball hits Daria. (I took the ball out.)

Towel Day must be an interesting kid at Holiday Island High, always wearing a towel around his/her neck. Also at Holiday Island High today are Africa Day (a transfer student with a West African accent) and May Revolution Day (another transfer student who speaks Spanish with an Argentinian flavor). We also have Universal Day of the Jedi, in honor of the very first showing of the movie Star Wars only 31 years ago. (Man, that makes me feel old.) I cannot find any Star Wars alter egos of the Daria cast, so we'll have to skip that.

I remember now why I took a break last November from writing fanfic: I hardly have time for it thanks to some schedule changes in Real Life. Doing entries for this blog was easier and took less time. Nonetheless, the Doc Holliday story on PPMB/SFMB will continue. I'm about a third of the way through Chapter 4.

Time to do a fanfic update. More soon. Thanks for putting up with me.