Just Keep Jake Away from the Paper Towels!

Trent is ready to fight any fires that show up on International Firefighters Day, as long as those fires start before he falls asleep and are extinguished before he comes up with some song lyrics that he needs to write down. If he could just remember not to build any fires in the rooms that don't have fireplaces, Jane will probably be satisfied with his work.

If you'd like to celebrate Bird Day by getting yourself a new pet, be sure to get to Mr. Matthews's pet store before Quinn tries to feed them and loses one. On the other hand, you might be able to get a free canary if you check the mall's air filtration system later on.

May the Fourth be with you on Star Wars Day, or at least with those of you who are Star Wars geeks. There are a surprising number of Daria/Star Wars crossovers out there, considering the difference between the two, but that's fanfic for you!

Fanfic Update!

• Blur of the Night, by Captain_Morgan93 (COMPLETE!): "The sky over Lawndale was a sullen slab of gray, the kind of Saturday afternoon that made you want to crawl back into bed with a book and a grudge against the world."


• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 5): "The light, a cool, misty grey, filtered through the windows of the grease trap Daria and Jane had parked themselves at on Friday afternoon."


• The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 26): "'Temperatures are continuing to drop,' Janel said. That definitely wasn't good."


• Make It Tolerable, by avav3 (COMPLETE!): "'How can you stand this place?!' 'Um, ‘cause I’m one of the guards instead of the prisoners?'"


• Opposites Detract, by Bolshevitch (COMPLETE!): "Daria woke up from what she was confident had to be the worst nap ever. It felt like she’d been ripped from the arms of the Sandman with an air raid siren."

No Fires in the Rooms Without Fireplaces!

Trent is prepped and ready for International Firefighters Day, but he's not really the kind of fireman who inspires me with confidence. Yes, he's awake, but you just know he's going to get distracted trying to come up with another rhyme for "moth to a flame" and let the whole house burn down.

Today is also Star Wars Day, and if you have to ask why May Fourth is Star Wars Day then you clearly are not geeky enough for this fandom.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria: In Another World?, by starwater09 (part 11): "Daria once again found herself spending the day alone from her friends...God was it strange to admit, but she did have friends (as in plural) now."


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (parts 1 - 4): "Lawndale, just outside Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, was a very peaceful and almost perfect place for most people to settle and start a good family." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)


• A Lane’s Return to Lawndale, by cfardellbrenorenz29 (part 1): "Summer Lane looked at Lawndale from the roadside. She usually hated returning to the place. This time was no different."

May the Fire be With You

Trent's on duty for International Firefighters Day, but I wouldn't count on him to put out many fires. Even if he stayed awake long enough to help, he'd probably get distracted trying to think of a good rhyme for "flame." Then again, he may have gotten some practice at home. After all, that "not building a fire in the rooms that don't have fireplaces" rule must have come from somewhere. On another note, am I the only one who sees a resemblance between Trent and this cake?

Today is also Star Wars Day (get it? May the Fourth?), and if you want some Daria/Star Wars crossovers then you could start with Fanfiction.net's Star Wars and Daria Crossovers page.

Fandom News!

• Speculate about Daria's non-Lawndale High friends.


• Charles RB found out what, among other things, Bernstein did after Daria.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted: Shiva's Rachel as Jodie's Twin sister and tafka's Social Distancing.


• Talk about the Jodie TV show you'd like to see.


• Share strange relationships in cartoons.


• Discuss alter-egos you find inspiring.


• Share music that gives you chills.

Moth to a Flame!

Trent is featured here as the firefighter least likely to inspire confidence on Fire Prevention Day, but at least he's awake this time. Chances are he's here to put out a fire at his own house if anyone forgot that rule about not building a fire in the rooms that don't have fireplaces.

Also on this day in 1998, Daria was named a "toon diva" in Entertainment Weekly. I think that's the first and only time Daria was referred to as any kind of diva.

Fandom News!

• Discussion is ongoing about the future of the PPMB.


• Talk about this season of CW DC shows in the new thread.


• Share your thoughts on the new Joker movie.

Fahrenheit For...get it

I've gotta admit, firefighter is nowhere near the top of my list of potential jobs for Trent, even on International Firefighters' Day. As in, somewhere below Olympic athlete. I mean, if he didn't sleep through the fire alarm then he'd at least get distracted on the way to the fire because he came up with some new song lyrics.

Today is also Free Comic Book Day, so head over to your local comic book store and pick up the latest issue of Ratboy! I'm not sure why, but I could easily see Jake as a secret comic book fan. Stacy, too, come to think of it.

Fanfic Update!

• American Idiot, by Lady Evil (part 1): "'Alright, Albert.' said Ms Manson. 'Just tell me...' 'Let me stop you right there lady.' said the new student in Ms Manson's office."


• Am I A Grownup Yet?, by jones2000 (part 2): "There were more people on the Lane lawn than Daria had ever seen before. Most seemed to be bearded, flannel-wearing hipsters, even the women."


• The Artist Formerly Known As Jane (Iron Chef: Fictional Reaction), by atiyatortilla (COMPLETE!): "Jane Lane woke with a start in a bed that wasn't her own, in a room she'd never seen before."


• Circle of Stryfe (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 2): "Quinn, Jim and the boys are in the kitchen having a very tense dinner. Tommy is talking about his day. '...but then Kevin Jr. decided to have a belching contest so I decided it was better to let Timmy solve his own problems.'"


• Cortex Schmortex (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria made sure to arrive early at school. She set up her table and folding chair and put up her poster board. Jane put her bookbag down and worked on some late algebra homework while Daria stood sentry."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 64): "That evening Jake lay in bed with his eyes still wide open. 'Can't sleep, Jakey?' said Helen."


• Daria the Vampire Slayer: Hell Comes To Texas, by Charles RB (part 7): "After the fight, such as it was, Daria was hyped with adrenaline and looking to learn how to more effectively hit people. Then Rick asked her to wax his car."


• Ingratitude (Iron Chef: Fictional Reaction), by Youth of Oz (COMPLETE!): "The soup kitchen matched his mood. It was grim, grey, full of people but empty of life. He knew he wasn't being fair; the poor souls who ended up here had endured far worse than he ever had."


• On Another Planet (Iron Chef: Fictional Reaction), by atiyatortilla (part 1): "A bitter wind tore at Tom's face and his ratty sweater as he stood a top the Golden Gate Bridge, staring down at the darkened water below."


• On the Origins of the Fashion Guild (Outlander Vignettes), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "Quinn started planning for battle from the very moment she awoke. That's what Imperials did, right? It's not like you could just snap your fingers and get a continent-spanning empire."


• A.R.C Chapter 10 Imprisoned, by ST91 (part 9): "Well, apparently there is a first time for everything. Daria thought when she saw her sister walk in the kitchen."


• Quinn Got in the Car, by Lady Evil (part 1): "'Why don't you get in the car?' Tom invited. 'Why don't you drive that scrapheap to the junkyard where it belongs?' Daria retorted."


• Quinn, the talking Dog, by OzFerret (part 4): "The day had passed surprising normally. Daria grudgingly paid ten dollars to Jane as the school emptied its living contents into awaiting cars and busses."


• Scenes, by JPAGC (part 3): "Daria left the room quietly. The smell of disinfectant was stronger on the corridor of the hospital than in the room. She made a face, wondering why an antiseptic without odor could not be invented."


• Teaching is a work of heart, by Rémi (parts 1 - 3): "Daria is driving an old, battered SUV in the streets of Lawndale. She's wearing a long checked skirt, a sober green jacket, town footwear and reasonnably big glasses. Although she just appears to be in her late tweenties, some wrinkles of worry are already showing on her face." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Today is a Good Day to Die, My Darling, by Lady Evil (part 1): "It was difficult for Dara, Daughter of JeQ of the House of Mor'Dorf to walk through the Academy with her usual confident step and her head high."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Daria Gene), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "Not much happened in Lawndale anymore."


• Wait For It, by Lady Evil (part 1): "Jane answered the door, expecting it to be Daria, ready to go hair dye shopping like they planned. She was surprised to see Jesse Moreno with a few spiral bound books. 'Hey.' he said. 'Trent home?'"

How About "Narcoleptic Fireman" For a New Band Name?

Trent's all set for International Firefighters Day, but I don't think I'd trust him to save my house. If he didn't fall asleep holding the hose then the flames would inspire him to compose a new song about moths.

Today is also Star Wars Day for all you Star Wars fans out there. Judging by the not-insignificant number of Daria/Star Wars crossover fanfics out there I think it's safe to say there are quite a few in fandom!

Fanfic Update!

• Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 19): "The 4 man witchfinder team picked the lock on the back garden gate, dressed in high visibility jackets, hardhats with the logo of a local power company, things that might be dismissed as while unusual, could be fairly legitimate in their presence."


• Fork In The Road (Pasta's Never-ending Ideas Thread!), by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "No matter how much time passed, Lawndale never changed. Brittany Taylor kept a steady pace as she jogged down the block, the crisp morning air energizing her for the day ahead."


• Graduations, by dmsfanman (part 2): "It was late on Wednesday morning when Daria stood in the kitchen of her university apartment and surveyed the scene. She rubbed her temples. This headache was really annoying her."


• A Griffin Story: Pregnancy, by Meester_Lee (parts 7 and 8): "'I've been waiting for over fifty years,' said Alcie. Linda gulped. 'Is she going to be a witch?' she asked fearfully." (Part 8)


• The More Things Change, by Two-Eyed Charlie (parts 3 and 4): "Saturday morning greeted me with all the pleasantness of a terrorist attack." (Part 4)


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 14 and 15): "'Antigua?' Sandi said. 'Where the hell is Antigua?' 'Island in the Carribean,' Charles said, as the other members of the Legion climbed into the Gridrunner behind him." (Part 15)

Fighting Fires with the Force...Hey, That Would Make a Good Song Lyric!

Trent is ready to put out any of those fires the Lanes aren't supposed to start in rooms without fireplaces, and that's good because it's International Firefighters Day. I just hope he can stay awake long enough to finish the job.

For all those geeks out there, it's May the Fourth (be with you), which means it's Star Wars Day! I know there are a handful of Star Wars/Daria crossovers out there, but I haven't gotten around to pulling them together. If you've got a favorite, share it in the comments!

Fandom News!

• Shiva shares an anonymous review that got under his skin.


• What was your worst job ever? Share your horror stories here!


• Why not trust women with no/few girlfriends? Snow-Kitty has some thoughts on the issue.


• Post your guesses on the length of Daria's skirt.


• breitasparrow has a question concerning PC first-person shooter games.

Put Out Fires He Will!

Happy International Firefighters' Day! I don't know about you, but Trent is probably the last person I'd rely on to put out any fires at my house. If he didn't sleep through the alarm, he'd get distracted by the flames and start working on a song while the house crumbled into ashes.

Today is also Star Wars Day, because (say it with me) May the Fourth be with you. Now everyone groan with me, too.

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Luchadore (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Now, Quinn, what do you see here?' Mrs. Manson held up a silhouetted image of two people in conversation, which Quinn was quick to point out. 'That's right. Can you make up a little story about what it is they're discussing?'"


• Creepy Things Kids Say... (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So Helen...' Linda Griffin said to her frenemy at the next barstool, 'What's the creepiest thing that your children have ever said or done?'"


• Death Comes to Lawndale, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 1 - 12): "Dammit! Amy cursed. Where the hell did I leave my glasses?"(Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12)


• Glasses and Lipstick (chapter 3), by oni (part 2): "Sandi looked embarrassed as she glanced at both sisters. Quinn's frown slowly faded away as she watched as her club leader's insecurity began to seep out of her usual dominating persona. '...I want to talk to your mom.'"


• I Hate You So Much Right Now, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Miss Morgendorffer. Do you mind if I come in for a moment? I'm Lex Luthor.'"


• The Lucid One, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Quinn Morgendorffer glided into Cranberry Commons like a wandering spirit come to rest. Her brown suede shoes seemed to barely touch the gleaming floors, and the panorama of commerce before her made her heart soar."



• Mackbeth, by SinisterExaggerator (part 6): "MACKBETH: As far as I'm concerned, a captain sits. You mad, bro?"


• The Punk and the Snark, by Shiva (part 7): "After putting it off for several days through stonewalling tactics, Daria had been forced to relent and conceded to Helen's demands to meet her first official boyfriend."


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 6): "As she finished putting on her jacket, Daria looked back at Kevin's limp naked passed out body, shook her head and said: 'What a pity. Two heads and neither of them work..'"


• ST: A Tale of Temporal Gifting, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "Commander Natima Dacet was in her quarters meditating. She was thinking over the events that had occurred since the Enterprise had travelled through time. 'Oralius, guide me in this situation so that the right timeline may be restored' she thought."


• Unnamed story (IC Faceswapping), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Quinn opened her eyes in refreshed delight as the first rays of dawn pierced her bedroom window."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'It was an...interesting story, Daria,' Timothy O'Neal said, glancing up from the stapled pile of pages in his lap 'But was it really necessary to portray Mr. DeMartino as a raving berzerker of the Chaos god Khorne?'"


• Victor Morgendorffer, by Shiva (part 13): "Though Daria found herself thinking of a certain little brother and had the mental image of Jane's older brother 'watching' over him. Trent was many things, and inspired strange feelings that left her very uncomfortable. But a responsible caregiver was a bit of a stretch."


• Vivian, by ST91 (part 9): "'Because it is a lost cause, Ms. Blake. These documents are final, you have waived all rights over your children! There is no way to reverse the judgment. Now excuse me but I have to ask you to leave, soon there will be a meeting of the partners of this firm and I have to participate. Good day.' said Mrs. Davis, indicating the end of the speech and pointing to the door of her office."

Hey, What Rhymes with "Fire"?

Today is International Firefighters' Day, and I don't know about you, but Trent is probably the last person I'd want to rely on to save my house from burning. If he didn't fall asleep holding the hose, the flames would probably inspire him to wander off and write down song lyrics.

For geeks everywhere (and aren't we all, deep down?), today is also Star Wars Day. Because it's May the Fourth. Get it? Ah, Jedi puns.

Fanfic Update!

• Apathymorphs: The Invasion, by JoeMerl (part 1): "My name is Jane. That’s my first name, obviously. I can’t tell you my last name. The Controllers are everywhere. Everywhere. And if they knew my full name, they could find me and my friends, and then...well, let’s just say I don’t want them to find me. I won’t even tell you where I live. You’ll just have to trust that it’s a real place, a real town. Maybe even your town."


• The Cats Will Play, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Bump pushed her head in, further opening the door to reveal a small plastic bag filled with a green herb. She grabbed the bag in her mouth and pulled it out onto the floor. Sissy grasped the other end and both pulled while also clawing at the plastic. In less than a minute, the bag ripped and the contents spilled out. Both cats stopped and inhaled deeply as the scent of catnip filled the air. It was going to be a good night."


• A Distant Lawndale (Part Two), by Arena del Sur (part 5): "The next morning Lawndale looked like a white desert. The view of the nearby houses surrounded with snow was shocking. Winter hadn't came yet, and this snowfall was a preview of its future rigours. I went downstairs to have breakfast, and turned on the radio waiting for a particular news. It was official, Lawndale High will be closed today. However, I was worried enough to celebrate the news. I put another sugar tart in the toaster and kept on waiting."



• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch 3 Rise Above the Bollocks, by Shiva (parts 3 - 5): "'Hey Ethan.' Daria suddenly said, 'You want another piercing?' 'Why you ask Daria?' Ethan asked, curious about the oddball question. 'I want a belly ring and I have enough cash for a two-for-one deal.' Ethan noticed that Josh had dropped Axl’s book in his lap and was staring at Daria in total shock; never in a million YEARS did he think that the Queen Bitch of Lawndale would ever do anything like this... ever!" (Part 4) (Part 5)


• General Semantics, Private Angst, by gwrtheyrn (part 42): "Daria Morgendorffer 3 had been having a rather quiet conversation with Jane Lane in her hotel room, but then something changed. The red-headed desk clerk, Kunegunde Morgen, was in the room, as if she had joined them some time before. She and Jane were dressed in identical blue-skirted, sailor-bloused schoolgirl uniforms. Each looked quite a bit younger than she had earlier, like a girl rather than a woman. Ms Morgen, and Jane, with such eerily synchronised choreography that one might think one mind animated the two of them, were performing hyperkinetic, almost spastic dance moves, and singing in unison...."


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 10): "Daria stared out at nothing. 'That’s not it. I just don’t want to deal with them anymore.' 'Maybe you don’t have to deal with.' 'I always do. I always do, and look what happens. I can’t do that anymore.' 'We can stop the trip, Daria. We can go somewhere else. Somewhere more normal.' Daria closed her eyes. 'Please.'"


• Ironed Silk (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Jane lay on her back and grabbed the bedsheets tightly as waves of pleasure washed over her. She vaguely heard herself moan and her mind was blank, feeling nothing but the primal desire running through her every vein."


• The Lamp and Daria, by DeacBlue (parts 1 and 2): "'Oooo, like Aladdin's lamp?' Jane was grinning mischievously. 'Why don't you rub it?' 'I've got something for you to rub, Jane,' Daria snarked, 'but I do need to get the dust off of it.' She took out a handkerchief and wiped it off. Tried to, rather, for light and smoke erupted from the object, forcing a startled Daria to drop it and step back, while a silhouette, then a solid body (or at least one from the torso up) formed from the smoke. 'Blessed Mortal!' a deep voice reverberated around the room. 'You have freed me from the lamp! According to the Law of Solomon, you are due three wishes!'" (Part 2)


• Mack Daddy (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Kevin awoke with a start when his hair was pulled hard by the person, nay the God who had finally showed him what it meant to be a man."



• A New Beginning, by LadieT (part 6): "Daria could feel Quinn tense up as the living room filled up with people. Daria looked over at Monique, her eyes pleading for help. Monique nodded and asked everyone to follow her into the kitchen. Stacy reached over and gave Quinn's hand a gentle squeeze before leaving. Quinn tightened her grip around her big sister. 'I'm not going anywhere, Quinn.' Daria whispered. 'Yeah, right - maybe you should have felt that way ten years ago.' Quinn said with venom in her voice."


• Runaway Daria: Fallout Lawndale Edition, by Vukodlak (part 6): "She held her for several minutes while her parents ate but soon she started fussing. 'Umm what do I do?' Daria was hoping this didn’t turning into full-scale balling. 'She wants your attention just talk to her.' Jack explained as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 'About what?' Little Katherine was starting to flail and Daria was ready to panic. 'Doesn’t matter just talk to her.' Daria nodded to her mother’s suggestion and turned to look at her baby sister. She began reciting passages from memory from her Big Book of Science volume eight and much to her surprise she had the baby’s rapt attention."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 16, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "This came as startling news to Sandi. She always knew Ms. Barch was a weird nutcase but... a liar? 'She made me this... werewolf?' Sandi muttered in disbelief, 'She did this to me?' 'Yes.' He paused, '...and according to my research, if you kill the werewolf who bit you. You will be lifted from the curse forever.' He smiled."


• TDJS Ch. 2 Interlude, by ST91 (parts 2 and 3): "Dario exhaled deeply. 'Jane I must tell you something ... something very important but first I want you to know that I didn’t want hide this thing from you ; it just slipped my mind to tell you because it's something that I'm used to doing .' 'Ok.' Jane said with a touch of concern. 'Tell me.' 'See Jane, I'm busy every Saturday because I am going with my father to a psychiatrist.'" (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Trent wandered into the kitchen in search of food and almost ran into Jane's outstretched hand. She held a large clump of plastic purple Easter grass, and her expression was unreadable."


• Whoops (Iron Chef: Kevin Morgendorffer), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "A few minutes later Tom was slowly descending the stairs creeping along as quietly as he could. He struggled with the door for a minute before it finally opened. His heart sank when he found himself face to face with Kevin... who was coming home just after four in the morning. 'I won’t tell if you won’t.' Tom figured this was a fair deal. 'Tell what T-dwag?' Tom wasn’t sure if Kevin was agreeing to the mutual silence or if he genuinely had no idea. Either way Tom felt safe he’d gotten away with it."


• Who Watches the Legion?, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "So Charles and I thought about it all. The impression we had was that the Iraq War was about to be lost - the newest idiot plan was a 'surge' and who knows how that would have worked out? Gates told us the Iraqi government was not stable enough to hold on its own except with a massive US military commitment. And maybe, they hoped, we could do something."

Staying Cool

Trent reminds us at right that today is National Firefighters Day, and glad we are of it. Thank you, firemen everywhere!

I read somewhere that this is also Star Wars Day ("May the Fourth Be With You!"). Lame, but there it is.

Greenpeace celebrates its 38th birthday today, which is relevant in part here because Daria was originally conceived to be a Greenpeace fan.

Alice Liddell (rhymes with "fiddle") was born this day 158 years ago. You know her better as Alice in Wonderland, as she was the inspiration for those stories. Thank you!

PPMB

• EVEN NEWEREST! Before the Deprogramming, by Kristen Bealer (Part 1): The last thing Jane wanted to do when she got home from Glenfield Middle School every day was baby-sit her niece and nephew, but no one else was available. Trent was always busy with his new "band," which had no drummer and still hadn't produced a single song. Wind only came home when his wife Claudia threw him out, which happened frequently but not predictably enough to rely on. No one had seen Penny in three years, although Jane was reasonably sure she was still somewhere in Central America. As for Jane's parents, well...they only showed up when they were least expected, not when they were most needed. Even at thirteen, Jane knew that all too well.
  
• NEWER! The Candidate, by Liz Ruiz (Part 2): Quinn took a last look around her backyard before she took a seat on one of the patio chairs. Even though she had thoroughly prepared for that meeting she still felt uneasy. For one thing, she hadn't any idea of the identity of the person that her husband will be leading into the backyard at any moment now. She would have felt much better if she had known just the gender of her guest. Sometimes you just had to leave some things to fate, she supposed.
• NEW! A Family Deal, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "Okay," said Jake, "I'm going play a game of hearts with my beautiful wife and my two great kids." "Hearts?" Daria said. "Poker or nothing." Helen nodded. "It's a waste of time if you're not playing for money."
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 45: Quarter Past Midnight, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): He knew that, if he went over to Jane’s now, he’d hate himself. He’d hate himself as he talked to her, listened to her fears about colleges, fears Finn knew Jane had. Hate himself when he pulled her close, feeling her rapid heartbeat and shallow breathing. And, for the first time, he’d hate the love-making they’d do after he soothed her.
• EVEN NEWEREST! The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 27): "I thought that Pat Seven would try to call me, but I guess he remembered that I wasn't getting any mail," said Quinn. "I mean, I swore to him that I still wanted messages but that I was grounded and that I couldn't answer any of them. Mom would have probably dumped him off the phone if he did call. Stupid Mom. I mean, if Pat stops going out with me, it looks like I've lost him...!" "But you weren't going out with him at all," Jill said. "You just wanted to go to the Yacht Club."
  
• NEWER! The Smiling Menace, by Roentgen (COMPLETE! despite it being part 6 of 58): "I'm attempting to keep an ancient artifact lost in the Time Wars from falling into the wrong hands... the TOOTHBRUSH OF RASILLON!" The item appeared on the viewscreen, along with awe-invoking incidental music. It was a toothbrush, and damn, it was a fine-looking toothbrush. Nice bristles. Good, sturdy handle. Gallifreyan engraving. A real classic. "That is one sweet sweet toothbrush," Quinn said.
• NEWEST! Unnamed story (Three-peat! New Ideas Thread Wins Again!), by Trscroggs (COMPLETE!): "Damnit, I thought killing those two knuckleheads would be a good thing!" Daria yelled in frustration.
  

Those who rush in while everyone else is rushing out

Today is International Firefighters Day, and a big "thank you" to all of them. You people are the best.

Mothers Day is coming up next Sunday, don't forget. More soon.