Saturday, December 31, 2016

Start the Countdown!


Daria's not interested in partying for New Year's Eve, but I know there are quite a few people out there who are glad to finally see the end of 2016. Whatever the future may bring for us all, I hope 2017 is a good one for everyone!

For some extra cheer, read the transcript of Daria's cameo on MTV New Year's Eve 2002 fifteen years ago. "And finally, let's try to make this the best year ever, or at least the least suckiest." That sounds like good advice to me.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 6): "'Matilda, your team has been complaining about having to use these Barbie hover board drones,' said the Superintendant. 'Because no self respecting cop would use such a thing?' asked Matilda."

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (part 9): "Once again getting off of the plane it was an advantage being in business class. Tom and Daria were allowed off first, which meant that they had a substantial head start getting to passport control."

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (part 12): "JAKE: (singing) I've been working on the railroad... come on, everyone, we know this one. (Beat, followed by grumbling.)"

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 18): "Jodie was one of the first back on the bus, and sat in her seat scanning the faces as people passed her by. She was hoping to catch Brittany and get the former cheer captain to sit up front with her and not go to the back of the bus where Kevin and Dawn would probably be sitting."

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (parts 9 - 11): "After the self-esteem class, as the girls were leaving school, Scarlett coughed to get the others' attention and then suggested, 'Hey, why don't we head over to my place instead of Jane's? My aunt won't be home yet, we'll have the place to ourselves.'" (Part 10) (Part 11)

  • On The Road, by elainefr (part 30): "'Good evening everyone,' Scott, the manager of The Zon greeted The Spiral and their dates. 'Sup Scott? How's it going?' Trent asked with an arm firmly around his petite date."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Daria Christmas Party), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "Brittany was beginning to regret forgiving Kevin so quickly. As her boyfriend sloppily kissed and roughly groped at her, Brittany began to remember why she cheated on him so often. Unbidden, an image of Daria, came to mind."

Thursday, December 29, 2016

"My tongue! Dear God, it's black!"


Jake is whipping up a nice batch of pepper pot for Pepper Pot Day, although I hope someone told him that pepper is not the sole ingredient in the soup. We don't want a repeat of his Kitchen Sink Stew fiasco, no matter how amusing it might be.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, December 27, 2016

What Does Barch Think of Male Puppets?


Ms. Barch is looking classy as the late actress Marlene Dietrich, who was born on this day in 1901. Aside from this alter ego and their German last names, I'm not sure the two women have anything in common.

Today is also the "birthday" of Howdy Doody, who made his first appearance on this day in 1947. I don't know if the resemblance between the marionette and Upchuck was intentional, but Andrea certainly seemed to think so.

Fanfic Update!
  • Baby It's Cold Outside, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "'Come on, just a little while more,' Trent tried to coerce Daria into staying a bit longer. 'I really can't... I've got to get back...'"

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (parts 7 - 8): "The restaurant was really nice. The décor was classic Bavarian country style – even though they were not in Bavaria. There were various scenes painted on the wall and the beer was excellent!" (Part 8)

  • Murder, She Etched, by Sacred Dust (parts 4 and 5): "When Amanda came back into the dining room, she saw that Jane had changed tables and was talking quietly with Percy, the well-spoken young man with the book. Jane nodded to let her know everything was all right." (Part 5)

  • Saved By the Bell, or: The Unexpected Virtue of Sarcasm, by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "So there I was, coming out of the Mall of the Millennium with an arm full of Christmas presents, just about to reach the snow bank next to my parked car, when I felt the grip of a pistol smash into my skull."

  • Theory of Aesthetics, by Anonymous (COMPLETE!): "'Okay but so like, are there any paintings here that aren't totally depressing?' Quinn yelled from the next room over. 'Okay, but, so, like, do you even know what paint is for if it doesn't go on your eyelids?' Jane yelled right back at her."

Sunday, December 25, 2016

Is That a Fuzzy Wuzzy Wee Bit Costume?


Mrs. Bennett looks a bit too festive for Christmas, but I hope all you in fandom who celebrate it have a very merry one! To help set the mood, here's a (lengthy) list of Christmas-themed Daria fanfics for you:
Fandom News!

Friday, December 23, 2016

It's a Festivus MIRacle!


Mr. DeMartino is all set to air his grievances on Festivus, but he forgot the traditional aluminum pole. Still, we all know that he's going to exhibit a feat of strength on the window before he goes out for his hike, so it's all good.

Fanfic Update!
  • And a Giant Douche (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'I really should say something,' Helen said. 'Stick to the script,' Daria said with a smile."

  • Another Life, by Princess_Pasta (part 2): "'This has to be the stupidest thing you've ever done'. Daria stared at her reflection and it stared back at her with just as much annoyance, the moment both comical and pathetic."

  • Cute (Zetor's thread for misfit stories), by Zetor (COMPLETE!): "Hey Quinn, How are you? It's been a while. I guess school is keeping us both busy, otherwise why wouldn't we be talking, right?"

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 45): "'Daria, is there some reason you weren't home last night?' Helen asked when Daria returned home from school, one carefully plucked eyebrow perfectly arched."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by Meester_Lee (part 50): "Lisbeth looked down the ship's corridor in amazement as Benjamin Sisko kept walking after walking right through her. She wondered where he'd go. If Lisbeth had opened the door to the Defiant's captain's cabin, she would have found that he hadn't gone very far."

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (part 6): "Tom and Terry were up before Daria and Maggie. The two men were sitting in the solarium or 'winter garden' on the back of the house and drinking orange juice."

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (parts 10 and 11): "(Sounds of a party. Lots of conversation and swing records being played in the background) KATIE: It's really spooky in here. All of these animal heads and trophies around." (Part 11)

  • QuinnxSandi, by yammcie (part 2): "'So although we have all agreed that this hipster thing is just a phase being brought on by poor inner city brains and weirdos, we can't deny that this "revolution" is damaging to the industry,' Sandi lectured to the three girls in front of her."

  • A.R.C Chapter 8 Sighted by a condor, by ST91 (part 4): "'Now Daria...' started to say Helen. 'I will not go!' said Daria. 'Please let me fin-' 'I said no! You can stop giving me my allowance.'"

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

Some Light on the Darkest Day


Looks like Daria and her friends are celebrating National Flashlight Day, unless this is a weird method of observing Look on the Bright Side Day. Either way, both are reminders that today is the winter solstice--the shortest day of the year.

Fandom News!

Monday, December 19, 2016

It's a Strangely Disturbing Life


Daria's looking both retro and uncharacteristically cheerful here because this is a scene from the Beavis and Butt-head episode "It's a Miserable Life," which aired on this day in 1995. It showed an alternate reality Daria, who had a boyfriend and smiled and sang carols and made all of Daria fandom die a little inside.

Fanfic Update!
  • Another Life, by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "For perhaps the millionth time, Daria Morgendorffer found herself standing outside of the doors to The Zon. It wasn't her usual scene, nothing about grunge clubs or music appealing to her, and yet she couldn't seem to break away."

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 44): "'You picked up a guy in a vintage stationers while Trent was helping my dad and Jeffy catch the squirrelly menace?' Daria clarified when she and Jane had reunited for pizza lunch and a break-down of their respective previous night."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by EntrancedCat (part 49): "'Left, left, hard and up you damn idiots,' John Yossarian was screaming to the bridge crew as the Defiant shook under another blast from the ship which had mysteriously materialized out of nothing ten kilometers in front."

  • Daria: College Pains The Junior Year, by James the Lesser (part 1): "Daria is listening to Doug about the assignment she had given him. 'I found that all of them were connected to a new drug trial. Something that enhances a persons focus and removes their hunger.'"

  • Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (part 3c): "Iago watched in shock as the Muggle gunman brandished his pistol and waved it at the crowd. This was as bad as one of the episodes he'd been through in North Africa."

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (parts 4 and 5): "Daria stared out the window of the train. Outside was total and utter blackness. It was the blackest blackness she had ever seen. There was absolutely no light other than the lights inside the train car." (Part 5)

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (parts 8 and 9): "(Sound of students milling about. Trays clank.) BRITTANY: Ugh! I hate it when the trays are wet when it's lunchtime. DARIA: 'That which does not kill us makes us stronger.'" (Part 9)

  • The Life of the Mind, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 3): "I suppose I should explain the cliffhanger, first and foremost. I've read books and watched TV shows where they do that—cut off the action at the last chapter or the end of the episode, leaving the audience to wallow in suspense for however long the gap in production or page numbers might be."

  • Murder, She Etched, by Sacred Dust (part 2): "The bus rumbled down the highway, leaving Ashfield and the shadow of the mountains in the distance. But her daughter's memories, Amanda suspected, would not be so easily left behind."

Saturday, December 17, 2016

Don't Let the Wind Mess Up Your Hair!


Quinn's suited up and ready for takeoff because on this day in 1903, Orville and Wilbur Wright made their first successful flight. She's definitely going to want to fly away when Sandi catches sight of those pants, though. Very unfashionable.

Fandom News!

Thursday, December 15, 2016

Frankly, My Dear, I Don't Give a Gah Damn


Helen and Jake are impersonating one of literature's favorite dysfunctional couples in honor of the anniversary of the Gone With the Wind premiere on this day in 1939. Perhaps Daria and Quinn will watch it together again for another dose of sisterly bonding.

Fanfic Update!
  • Collateral Damage (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "Elsie Sloane entered the front door of Sloane Manor and closed the door behind her, leaning back against it and sighing as she did so. It had been another tiring day at school, with people still being unusually nice to her after her brother Tom's death."

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (parts 6 and 7): "EICHLER: From the very beginning at Mutual, I wanted to introduce Negro characters. Anne Bernstein's plans were to introduce two characters, a boy named Connie and a girl named Judy. Both would attend Lawndale High School." (Part 7)

  • Forget (Pasta's Never-ending Ideas Thread!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "A loud crack of lighting ripped across the darkened night sky, causing Daria to jump despite herself. She turned her attention away from the novel that she was reading to gaze out of the large picture window beside her."

  • Guardian angel-written (Robyn's Ramblings: Also Known As Robyn's Many Ideas), by tjdolf (COMPLETE!): "- You again?! - What do you mean, of course it's me again, Dawn cried. -Why won't anyone help me?"

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 17): "'Daria! Hey, Daria!' The short brunette frowned, turning to face the direction the voice was coming from. It was young, female, and familiar so probably a classmate but not somebody she spoke to with any frequency."

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (part 8): "Daria paced back and forth impatiently, frequently glancing at her bedroom door and then out the window. Someone had put the original knob back on her door, and now she was locked in. Whoever had done it had also replaced the bars on her window, meaning she couldn't escape that way, either."

  • Murder, She Etched, by Sacred Dust (part 1): "It was only supposed to be a butterfly. Amanda Lane stood back with an uncommonly grim expression and pondered the fate of her latest piece."

  • An Old Foe (Doctor Who: Ways Clara Oswald ...), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "The Doctor looked as Clara walked down the Street. 'Let me be brave,' she said. His emotions were in turmoil. How had it come to this? That Clara would be so reckless."

  • A.R.C Chapter 8 Sighted by a condor, by ST91 (part 3): "'So Charles has a crush on Daria,' said Andrea over the phone. 'Yes,' said Jane. 'And you knew it...' 'Since we crashed Brittany's party.'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Daria Christmas Party), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "As far as he remembered, the punch had a slightly... odd flavor. It seemed both sweeter and bitter than usual. However, he disregarded that in his nervous state."

Tuesday, December 13, 2016

Which One Would That Cute Family of Teens Choose?


Mack is seriously regetting his decision to participate in Ice Cream Day, especially since it's the middle of December. Perhaps he would have been better off starting that ice cream company with Kevin that the Is It College Yet? alter egos claim they'll have.

If you have a sweet tooth but it's too cold for ice cream, then you could choose to celebrate National Cocoa Day instead. Quinn's whipping up a batch right now, just in case Lawndale gets hit by another freak hurricane.

Fandom News!

Sunday, December 11, 2016

Does This Mountain Make Me Look Faaaaat?


Tiffany's celebrating International Mountain Day by climbing one, although I'm not sure she's got the mental capacity to handle such a complex and dangerous task. The good news is that the thin air as she gets higher shouldn't impair her cognitive functions too much.

Today is also the 70th anniversary of the humanitarian organization UNICEF. No, Eric, you can't celebrate by suing them. I don't care how many pennies you'll get out of it.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 5): "'So, 'Make America Great Again' is taken and will likely be downright toxic next election, so we need a new four word or close to four word slogan that is just as catchy as it was last election,' said Carrie."

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 43): "The thing about having been good friends with Trent before they were dating, as well as being best friends with his sister, Daria found it a lot easier to go and just talk to them about the whole mess than to keep it to herself."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by Meester_Lee (parts 47 and 48): "Helia turned around in time to watch in wonder as Captain Sisko walked right through the Earth girl who was standing in the doorway of her cabin. The girl staggered for a moment, then began to come back to herself." (Part 48)

  • Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (part 2): "Standing there kissing his wife Tom took in all of the sensations. The softness of Daria's lips was something which was part of her natural beauty."

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (part 5): "O'NEILL: And so, for tomorrow, I want you to make of ten etiquette dos and don'ts. BOY: Oh, Mr. O'Neill, Mr. O'Neill?! O'NEILL: Yes, um... you. BOY: Is that ten in total, or ten of each? Dos and dont's, that is?"

  • Ted Talks Trash (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'...and that brings me to reason number thirty-four why women are genetically superior to men,' Ms. Barch was telling her students. Science class was one of the rare places where Ted actually appreciated other people's tendency to overlook him."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Daria Christmas Party), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Jane Lane got to Lawndale High's first compulsory attendance Christmas party a bit late due to Trent's not-so-trusty blue flivver breaking down more often than usual on the drive over from Casa Lane."

Friday, December 9, 2016

But What About the Honor of Llllawndale High?


Ms. Li is horrified to learn that today is International Anti-Corruption Day. It's not fair--how is she going to embezzle school funds and invade student privacy now?

Happy birthday to Kevin Daniels, who was one of several voice actors to portray Mack. I guess the stress of putting up with even a fictional Kevin is too much for one man to handle.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

"Don't pick your nose...don't pick your nose...."


On this day in 1990, the movie Edward Scissorhands had its limited release. Brittany doesn't look very happy in her alter ego as the title character, and not just because she's going to have a hard time holding her pom-poms. The next time she tries to twirl a strand of hair around her finger, she'll risk cutting off her head...or something vital! Now that I think about it, I have a feeling Kevin isn't too thrilled about this idea, either.

Fanfic Update!
  • Christmas, by dmsfanman (part 5): "Three days later Daria was on the phone with Tom. He asked, 'Do you think you can get someone to take me to the train station? My mother hasn't spoken to me since New Year's Eve. Not that I mind it so much, but if no one is going to talk to me I might as well go back to Newtowne tomorrow. Are you interested in coming to Newtowne for a few days with me?'"

  • Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (parts 3a and 3b): "Arcturus and Iago quickly retrieved their luggage from MACUSA's customs service. Despite the fuss that MACUSA's immigration agents had made about Arcturus' wand, MACUSA had given his luggage only perfunctory attention." (Part 3b)

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (parts 3 and 4): "(Sounds of silverware clanking against dishes.) HELEN: Daria, it's your turn to clean up after dinner. DARIA: Why do I have to clean up? HELEN: You know that you girls have to chip in. We don't have a maid here, unlike some people." (Part 4)

  • For the Hoard!, by tafka (COMPLETE!): "Trent looked at his stuff. The room was full of it, packed to the ceiling in unending drifts of detritus. He had an urge to pull out his axe and practice, but he'd long-since forgotten where his amp was."

  • The Life of the Mind, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 2): "The cops in Lawndale are lackadaisical at the best of times. One A.M is far from 'best' by practically every metric."

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 16): "'Alright,' Ms. Barch said. 'It looks like I was half right. They left their flag mostly unguarded, but it was a pair of inferior males that got left behind. Since they've probably already exceeded their attention span, this should be easy.'"

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (part 7): "That afternoon, she found herself wasting time in O'Neill's after school self-esteem class, again. She was ignoring the teacher, and much of the class, and sketching out one last star chart on a pad of legal paper."

Monday, December 5, 2016

Booze and Disney--They Go Together Surprisingly Well!


Jodie's celebrating Repeal Day in the traditional flapper style, because it was on this day in 1933 that the last necessary state ratified the 21st Amendment and repealed Prohibition. Now Jodie is free to drink as much as she likes, as long as her parents don't catch her at it.

Today is also the anniversary of Walt Disney's birth in 1901, and without him and his cryogenically frozen head we'd have no humorous additions to the picnic game in "The Road Worrier."

Fandom News!

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Just Be Happy There's a Roof Somewhere Near You


Be grateful for what you have on National Roof over Your Head Day, although I think Daria's not so much grateful as praying that roof stays right where it is. She may also be contemplating going up to her usual hiding place on top of the school roof, but that won't work because it's not National Roof Under Your Feet Day. If you have a roof over your head, I hope it stays up, keeping you safe from both head injuries and Medieval fairs.

Fanfic Update!
  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 42): "'Okay, so I had this idea,' Jane started. 'There's a dangerous sentence,' Daria quipped."

  • Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (parts 1 and 2): "JAKE: Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town - especially for you, Daria, right? DARIA: Did we move?" (Part 2)

  • The Life of the Mind, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 1): "Let me paint the scene for you: I was standing in the middle of my room, staring down the shape edge of a knife, watching as its thick coat of red dripped onto the carpet."

  • The Many Trents at Forty, by Cap (COMPLETE!): "A sunny, breezy spring day in late May found Trent chauffeuring his sister Jane and her friend Daria to the campus of Smallwood Community College."

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 15): "In a different part of the forest, Andrea closed the well-concealed door that she'd found almost by accident and looked around the small room hidden behind it. There was a toilet and a sink, so this was probably one of the comfort stations Big Jim had told them about."

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (part 6): "Daria stood at her locker, shuffling books in and out of her backpack for her first couple of classes. She mostly carried the books for show, she hadn't actually needed to crack a textbook since fourth grade."

  • A.R.C Chapter 8 Sighted by a condor, by ST91 (part 2): "Usually Daria and her friends spent their afternoons at Jane's home or at Andrea's. In this particular time, given the presence of Amy, the four teens went only to Jane's house."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: the Early Invention of 'Daria'), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "'Mo-om,' Quinn opened their bedroom door and called down the hall. 'Daria, eww, Daria went to bed naked again. Make her stop.'"

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by MetalShadowX (part 1): "Daria and Jane escaped from a prison when they encountered a meek looking gentleman and a little girl. 'Hello strangers. My name is Tim. May I help...'"

Thursday, December 1, 2016

Not to be Confused With The Noggin!


Jake picked the wrong carton, because today starts National Eggnog Month. If you indulge, please remember to check the expiration date--we all know that out-of-season nog can induce holiday hallucinations.

On this day in 1955, Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on the bus, beginning a series of events that ultimately ended segregation. In other words, Jodie, today would not be an appropriate day to move to the back of the bus; I don't care how annoying Kevin and Brittany are being.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, November 29, 2016

One of My Personal Favorites!


Daria and Tom are all set for National Chocolates Day, courtesy of Quinn. Don't feel too bad for her, though. Between the calories and the zits, there's no way Quinn was going to go anywhere near any of that chocolate. Jane is probably off somewhere enjoying unauthorized chocolate, and Mrs. Johanssen is trying desperately to convince someone to sell her some.

Fanfic Update!
  • 128 Seconds with Jane Lane (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2016!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "(Jane Lane sits on the stairs in front of the main entrance of Legion Tower.) 'VANITY FAIR' INTERVIEWER: What is the worst decision you've ever made? JANE: I don't know. I mean, there's so many worthy contenders for the honor..."

  • The Appointment, by elainefr (part 4): "'Trent?' Helen's voice seemed to be coming from somewhere far away. (v/o) Focus and breathe, focus and- What the hell is that smell? ......ah, yes the puke. It smelled even worse than last night."

  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 4): "Matilda got back home after a long day working both the search for the white supremacist treasury and armourers and whatever scheme Carrie was running."

  • Daria on the Red Carpet (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "'Brittany! Brittany! Ms. Taylor!' called a throng of paparazzi as soon as the blue-gowned blonde beauty climbed out of the limo."

  • Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (part 2e): "One of the reasons many witches and wizards used charter services like Nightingale Aero Charters was because the customs agents at the airports they served abroad weren't nearly as alert or thorough as the ones at other air terminals used mainly by Muggles."

  • Just An Average Couple (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2016!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Evening, Davy bear.' Julia Carlyle smiled as David Allen Farrington dropped down on the couch right beside her, his every movement radiating fatigue. 'I got you a little something as a "welcome home" present...'"

  • Today, Everyone Is Irish (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2016!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Aren't you a little young to be tending bar?' It wasn't the first time asked me that."

  • Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "Jane, Jodie and Daria stood in the extremely oddly decorated anteroom of the even odder house that Pat had brought them to."

Sunday, November 27, 2016

Are You Extracurricular?


Jodie's reliving one of Jimi Hendrix's iconic moments for the anniversary of the rock guitarist's birth on this day in 1942. For the real background on Hendrix, we turn the floor over to Stan, the guy from Fremont who once took him to the dentist. I'm sure that's completely true, just like all of his stories.

Fandom News!

Friday, November 25, 2016

I Think Quinn's Going to be Put on Another Sabbatical


Quinn just made the terrible mistake of suggesting that instead of Black Friday, the Fashion Club should celebrate Buy Nothing Day. The suggestion might sound crazy coming from Quinn, but perhaps she's only referring to a loophole: if the girls can convince either their parents or their dates to buy everything for them, then it still counts!

Fanfic Update!
  • The Appointment, by elainefr (part 3): "'Where are you going?' Helen asked her daughter just as Daria thought that she had made her escape out the back door. 'To visit a friend,' Daria said with the intention of hurrying on out before her mother could detain her any further."

  • Burned Out, by Wrabbit75 (part 8): "One had to admit; despite the heart attack-inducing tone of Mr. DeMartino's voice, especially when lecturing to his students, His history class was certainly one of the more interesting."

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 41): "'Ms Morgendorffer, I want you to take over the teaching position for the Language Arts classes until Mr O'Neill can return to his post,' Ms Li informed Daria once she'd taken a seat."

  • Last of the Summer Whine, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Between Mildred's snoring and his eagerness to find out if his plan worked, Tom had a restless night and overslept the next morning. He got dressed and hurried downstairs to find out how badly everyone else had slept with no pillows."

  • Mack Mackenzie, Superstar (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2016!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "(It is nighttime, and Mack (his football uniform all in white with spangles and fringe) stands atop the bleachers next to the LHS football field as Daria - still in her trademark outfit - stands mid-field at the center of the fifty-yard line."

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 14): "The students were quickly split into teams and issued gear - rifles, vests, helmets, and a supply of paintballs. Each of the three team leaders led their teams through the woods to the spot where their flag was placed, and then took the few minutes left before the game started to address their troops."

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (part 5): "Almost an hour later, Daria was slumped down in a desk near the back of her English teacher's classroom struggling to stay awake as the man droned out one line of gibberish after another."

  • The Other Side of the Looking Glass (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2016!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "What's gone? The what is gone? Did I... do something? A deep and sudden feeling of foreboding began to well up from deep within Tffany Blum-Deckler's stomach as she looked around the area – a sensation worse than the worse case of nausea she had ever experienced, as she found herself outside the Tower, with no idea how she had gotten there..." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

  • Rutting Season (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2016!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "God, just make it stop... Daria pulled a pillow over her head, and tried to focus past the thoughts, the words - the sensations - that seemed to flow through her head like water."

  • Second Chances, by Lady Evil (part 2): "'Mrs. Talbot, let me explain.' said Jesse as he followed the angry woman dripping with faintly pinkish vomit. 'You can explain it to CPS!' snapped Mrs. Talbot as she flung open the front door."

  • Thanksgiving, by dmsfanman (COMPLETE!): "Tom and Daria were just finishing putting dishes in the dishwasher and cleaning the last of the pots and pans when Tom asked, 'So how much embellishing did you do on that Thanksgiving story? I have kind of a tough time believing that Thanksgiving with your aunts and cousin was that awful!'"

  • We Are Compelled to Ask, What Is Wuv? (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'Daria, Quinn,' the bridesmaid was saying as she led the girls over to meet their escorts, 'this is Garrett. Garrett will be with Quinn.' Daria took in the groomsman's handsome face, confident attitude, and instantly lovestruck expression as he looked at her sister. 'Of course.'"

Wednesday, November 23, 2016

And This is a Very Nutty Blog!


Jake's trying to figure out exactly what kind of nut he's holding so that he can properly celebrate National Cashew Day. Don't worry, Jake! If you don't have any cashews, you can pick some up at It's a Nutty, Nutty, Nutty World.

On another note, today is the ninth anniversary of this very blog, the Daria Fandom Blog II. The Angst Guy began posting on this day in 2007, and it's continued with only occasional interruptions since then. Thanks, TAG!

Fandom News!

Monday, November 21, 2016

"Television counts as a place."


Daria and Jane are observing World Television Day, although I'm not sure this is any different from any other day for them. I should point out that the holiday is actually about the role television plays in shaping and helping society, so Daria should also be sure to yell at the TV if there are any book burnings going on.

Today is also False Confession Day, so if you want to own up to murdering Kevin, go for it. Just be aware that half of Lawndale High has already beaten you to it.

Fanfic Update!
  • A J Alphas Up, by EntrancedCat (part 1): "Fifteen minutes were left in study hall as Daria sighed and closed her paperback book. She paused to stare at the title even as she attempted to shield it from any interested eyes, not that many other students at Lawndale High were interested in what a brain had to read."

  • Benjamin Morgendoffer, by Veleriphon (part 6): "Apparently over the weekend, a cafe in town was vandalized. Mr. O'Neill tried to get the class at least interested enough to vocalize something in response."

  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (parts 2 and 3): "'You didn't confiscate the cash?' asked the superintendent. 'Aside from the ethics of those powers, sir, she has successfully sued us before and would again,' replied Matilda, 'I have an idea though. I would like to work with the quartermaster on some of the CS sprays and Tasers, next time she steals any of these items, I want her to wish she hadn't.'" (Part 3)

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 40): "'Hey Daria, we got invitations to a five-year reunion at Camp Grizzly,' Quinn called excitedly as she hustled into the kitchen with the mail. 'What a shame, I'm busy that day,' Daria answered with flat sarcasm."

  • Last of the Summer Whine, by Kristen Bealer (part 2): "'So we're all set?' Elsie asked after she and Tom had gone over their plan for the sixth time. 'We're set,' he confirmed. "Operation Vacation Cancellation" is a go.'"

  • Lead Us Not into Tempation (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Ahhhh!' Daria stirred uncomfortably. It sounded like a scream, a scream from Quinn, a very unhappy one at that."

  • The Many Doctors - Chapter 27, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "'We need a backup in case they don't reach the auxiliary engines in time. Come on, think. Resources. What have we got,' the Doctor said. 'Doctor?' Felicia asked. 'What is it now?' 'Who had the most number ones, Elvis or the Beatles? Pre-download?'"

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 13): "The next few days passed quickly, and the girls found themselves lumped together in the back of a school bus on their way to Jim's Paintballing Jungle, a magical place hidden in a swathe of untended forest surrounded by the rolling farmlands to the southwest of Lawndale."

  • Momentum, by Princess-Pasta (part 3): "'Ten Ways Videogames Can Improve Your Sex Life (Really). Can you believe they publish this crap?' 'You're surprised?'"

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (part 4): "Sand crunched under her boots as she walked across a dull, barren plain. She folded her arms across her chest and tucked her hands into her armpits, huddled against the cold and solitude."

  • Return From The Other Side (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2016!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'So. You're back.' 'Glad to see you, too, Richard. Haven't had anyone reminding me of the minutiae of adherence to all of the rules lately.'"

  • Thanksgiving, by dmsfanman (part 4): "Tom got up and started cutting and serving Jane's pumpkin pie. He topped each piece with whipped cream and served each piece to those at the table. As he sat down with his pie he turned to Daria and said, 'So, Daria, What about your memorable Thanksgiving?'"

  • That Guy (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2016!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "You know what I've always hated? Well, 'who' - that person who makes me feel as if I've thrown up a little in my mouth and like I need to take a dump because my abdomen is filling up with crap from not going for three days, both at once?"

  • Trouble in the Future (Chapter 1), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Kristia went down to Bot Beta, the lowest floor. 'Landers to Pearson. There's a new development.' 'I have engaged one of the Marie Greeners. She's stopping me from gaining access to their vehicle!'"

  • Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "'Intellectuals back then had good diction and higher voices.' Claire noted, and the others around the table just nodded. She continued, 'Frankly, she's just terse.'"

Saturday, November 19, 2016

I Hope Jake Remembered to Check the Toilet Paper Before He Sat Down!


Daria's spending some quality time with Talking Toilet for World Toilet Day, but don't forget this dire warning: "What deadly new diseases can you pick up by sitting down? Toilet seat terror next, on Sick, Sad World!"

Today is also Ms. Barch's least favorite holiday ever, International Men's Day. That's probably appropriate for her, though, because it's also Have a Bad Day Day.

Fandom News!

Thursday, November 17, 2016

Hiking and Bread...What Could be Better?


Mr. DeMartino is leading the charge for Take A Hike Day, although you can feel free to use the door when you leave on your own hike. I'm hoping DeMartino won't be bringing his cigarettes along with him, because today is also The Great American Smokeout, so he should think about quitting. If nothing else, I'm sure Mr. O'Neill would frown on smoking in front of the campers.

If you decide you'd rather stay indoors today, then you could bake a loaf of bread for Homemade Bread Day. Yes, Helen, using a bread machine counts!

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria: Is this a reunion or a flashback?, by Clayton Overstreet (COMPLETE!): "They say you can't go home again; or do they just wish it? Daria and Jane stood outside the gym at their old high school. Daria wore a dark green blouse over a pair of jeans and sneakers. Jane was in a tight red dress that hugged her hips and a pair of stilettos. Inside music was blaring."

  • Last of the Summer Whine, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "Tom watched as his father shut the trunk on their suitcases with a loud and final 'clunk.' But maybe it's not too late, he told himself. Out loud, he said, 'Spencer Prentiss's family is going to Disney World this summer.'"

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (part 12): "Andrea pushed open the outside door to her apartment building, making a note to not bother calling the office to tell them the lock was broken again. There was a small chance they'd fix it, which would be pretty inconvenient for the few days it lasted before somebody took a sledgehammer to it again."

  • Momentum, by Princess-Pasta (part 2): "Trent was wholly unprepared for his life to be completely uprooted in a matter of a few short days but he had no other choice but to pack up what little he owned and leave Maryland. He felt defeated...more so than usual that was."

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (part 3): "As it turned out, her interview to join the Mrs. Manson cult was the highlight of her day. The school day itself was half spent by the time they were released to go to class, causing her to miss her algebra class, English lit, and U.S. history."

  • Reclamation, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Ashley Winters chipped away a little more stone from his latest sculpture. It was only half finished and he hadn't quite figured out what it was supposed to be. But as one of his more passionate teachers once told him, art was all in the process." (Part 10)

Tuesday, November 15, 2016

If You Just Buy a New Fridge Entirely, Recycle the Box!


Jake's observing Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day with gusto, unless he's just looking for more cheese to use against those dastardly squirrels. If you find anything in your fridge that's green and shouldn't be, today's the day to get rid of it.

Speaking of green, make sure you don't just throw away anything in your refrigerator that could be recycled. It's America Recycles Day, which I guess means that people in other countries can chuck stuff into landfills willy-nilly.

Fandom News!

Sunday, November 13, 2016

A Kind of Nice Holiday


The Fashion Club is starting to regret agreeing to participate in World Kindness Day, but those orphans aren't going to get ankle boots unless they step up! You can celebrate this day any way you'd like. Daria might read to seniors, Helen might defend Unicef from Eric's lawsuit, and Mr. DeMartino...might stop himself from strangling Kevin. Kindness abounds!

Fanfic Update!
  • Cops And Robbers And Magic, by psychotol (part 1): "'I didn't grass on you, I swear-' protested Sam Jester, the drug delivery cyclist as he squirmed in the grip of Bob Francis, the meathead holding the desert eagle against Sams face."

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 39): "Jane had been tasked with Keeping Daria Busy And Away From Casa Lane. Her plan of attack was to take Daria to Dega Street and then back to Chateau Morgendorffer to watch Sick Sad World in Daria's room."

  • In the Hall of the Crimson Queen (Hiding in Plain Sight (Alternate LLH, Plot Bunny to Kill)), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Joey "Slave" Orr shivered at the top of a building on 23rd Street in Manhattan. It was 4 am in the morning. The club - 'Draconia's Den' - had been raided by riot police."

  • Misery Machine, by NightGoblyn (parts 10 and 11): "A week after the disastrous poster competition Daria found herself sitting alone in her history class, ignoring the teacher and reflecting back on the last few days." (Part 11)

  • Momentum, by Princess-Pasta (part 1): "Daria was tired. Maybe tired wasn't the right word, more like mentally fatigued. Schoolwork was constant and she found herself having little time to even breathe these days."

  • Moonstruck, by NightGoblyn (parts 1 and 2): "Daria staggered against the wind, her hair whipping around her face and impairing her vision. Lightning split the pearlescent sky above, and thunder crashed down on her like a physical force. She dropped to her knees, peering through the hazy air and trying to identify her surroundings." (Part 2)

  • One And The Same, by Princess-Pasta (part 7): "Middleton College wasn't anything impressive. It had the standard set-up of most traditional campuses, complete with large campus square and fountain. The place was small compared to the other universities in the area, probably housing no more than 5,000 students."

  • Perception, by Princess_Pasta (part 9): "'This is supposed to be, like, infinite universes or something, right? Like that one issue of Ratboy where he gets stuck in this time portal thing but he can't figure out which one is the actual one. Really trippy stuff, man'."

  • Reclamation, by SacredDust (part 8): "'See you later, Mom. Dad,' Tom stood up from the kitchen table. His mother looked slightly concerned. 'Is that all you're going to eat?' 'Sure. I'll be okay until lunch.' 'But you hate the food at Fielding.'"

  • Thanksgiving, by dmsfanman (part 3): "The food was good and so was the wine. While each was getting started on their turkey dinner Tom piped up with, 'So, should we each share a memorable Thanksgiving?'"

  • This Is Man's Work (Hiding in Plain Sight (Alternate LLH, Plot Bunny to Kill)), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Hey - Jake! Big Jake! Tell your sugar momma that she needs to take her hands out of your pants! You're up in two!'"

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Reintegration was always the worst part of it, Daria thought. That short eternity, the ever-stretching moment as she brought her powers to bear to force her way out of the superstream and back into mainstream reality."

Friday, November 11, 2016

Thank You, Veterans


Today is not only Veteran's Day but also, fittingly, the anniversary of General George Patton's birth in 1885. Along with Mack, we salute all those who served their country in the armed forces.

Also on this day in 1889, Washington became the 42nd state. It's either the birthplace of grunge or our nation's capital, depending on how much Quinn's been paying attention in class.

Fandom News!

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

You Could Create the Next Folding Coffee Cup!


Mack's concocting something extra special for Inventors' Day, but I'm not sure what it is. It could be a potion to stop Kevin from calling him "Mack Daddy" once and for all, it could be a special blend of chemicals that will end Jodie's constant need to overachieve so she can spend five minutes with him, or it could just be a new formula for Ultra Cola. If you're in the inventing mood, today's the day to try it!

Fanfic Update!
  • Burned Out, by Wrabbit7 (part 7): "As usual, Jennifer was staring out the window instead of paying attention to class, so she was especially taken off guard when Ms. Barch called her name with wicked vehemence."

  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by Meester_Lee (part 46): "Commander Helia slid out of the nap she'd taken and back to full consciousness, her mind replaying the terrible memories she had of that last battle with the replicators and the knowledge that she'd lost and that the Replicators were on their way to the city to exterminate its inhabitants."

  • If Elected, I Will (Not) Serve, by JoeMerl (part 1): "Well, the 2016 presidential election is finally over, and the results are terrible. Please note that I'm writing this before I actually hear them."

  • Reclamation, by SacredDust (part 7): "Tom didn't go to history class that day. What was the point? He knew the subject like the back of his hand, and besides, he couldn't stomach a whole day of Fielding. Speaking of his stomach, he was starving. Don't look at the thermos, Tom, he told himself. Don't even think about it."

  • So this is Real Life, I want my money back, by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "Daria held a bagel in her mouth while trying to quickly park her Kia Soul into the first open parking spot she could find in this church's parking lot. Though it only took her ten minutes it felt like forever as she was in a bit of a rush."

  • Thanksgiving, by dmsfanman (part 2): "Tom looked out the bedroom window. Thanksgiving morning had dawned a cold and gray day. There were no people visible in the parking lot or the piece of the campus visible from the window."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by Waylander (part 20): "Like all the ground-shattering events in Fielding Prep, the fallout between Tom Sloane and his best friends started with a small disagreement. They felt that Tommaso the Half-Elven Adventurer was slowing the trio down."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Final Session), by tjdolf (COMPLETE!): "Manson: If you're not going to talk to me, I don't think these sessions serve any purpose. Andrea: (shrugs)"

Monday, November 7, 2016

Hug an Existential Bear


Daria's not too impressed by Hug a Bear Day, but maybe she'd feel better if she had a real bear to hug. As long as it's not a Grizzly...such as Skip or Amelia.

If you're in the mood to dress as a pseudo-intellectual poser with accessories from the street fair, then you can also celebrate the anniversary of Albert Camus's birth on this day in 1913. Daria has shown an interest in existentialism several times throughout the show, including the puppet show she created with Jane and her thoughts on the "nothingness of being" at the dinner table.

Fandom News!

Saturday, November 5, 2016

Bollocks!


It's time to gather some fireworks and light the bonfire for Guy Fawkes Day, better known as Bonfire Night. You could celebrate by playing in a hiphop-punk-electronica band or by visiting Falstaff's Kidney Pies. I don't recommend trying to blow up Parliament, though. That's for tossers.

Fanfic Update!
  • All Hallows' Eve (Pasta's Never-ending Ideas Thread!), by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "'What in the hell are you thinking?' 'Relax, it's Halloween. We can stand to have a little fun'. 'If Mom and Dad-' Elsie Sloane let out an exasperated sigh before turning away from her vanity mirror to level her older brother with a steely glare."

  • Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 38): "Fall, the first day back at Lawndale High for the new scholastic year, but you wouldn't know by the mercury readings. It was damn hot out."

  • Friends and More: a story about Mack, by 11tee (part 1): "Michael "Mack" Mackenzie sat at his table staring at the pizza. Only two slices were missing after half an hour. He occasionally looked out the window from his seat. He always sat in this seat- it afforded a good view of the passers-by coming to the Pizzeria."

  • Hiding in Plain Sight, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'C'mon, work those legs! Work 'em! Work 'em!' The crowd of people, at least a dozen of whom were on their first attempt to lose pounds now that New Year's Eve was over and they were already regretting their resolutions."

  • The Many Doctors – Chapter 40, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "It had been many days, possibly a week, since the Doctor and his companions had met the Eleventh incarnation of the Doctor and Clara Oswald at Coal Hill School. '...And we have now left the Ood Sphere. We're on the right track,' the Doctor said."

  • Reclamation, by SacredDust (parts 5 and 6): "Taking classes at Fielding Academy was one thing. Belonging to it was another. Elaine Swinton was interested only in the ones who belonged. The boarders, the participators, those who were fully committed--she was just fine with them, as long as they stayed out of her way." (Part 6)

  • A.R.C Chapter 8 Sighted by a condor, by ST91 (part 1): "That day during the lunch break the topic of discussion was the imminent arrival in the school of two talent scouts from Amazon Models. 'You know, it is in situations like this I regret that we do not have the same classes.' said Jane."

  • Second Chances, by Lady Evil (part 1): "'You can just drop me off here.' Jane told Trent as they came to the shopping center. 'Fine.' sighed Trent, parking his Plymouth. 'Can you get a ride back? I'm gonna be busy all day trying to find a new bassist.'"

  • Stargate Delicately Balanced Daria Chapter Two, by Meester_Lee (part 3): "Daria's reappearance hadn't gone unnoticed at the Hardin residence, even if Cal was on suspension. Cal learned first; he still had friends at Highland High, even after Thursday night."

Thursday, November 3, 2016

But How Will She Hear the Phone if the Vacuum's On?


Helen's stepping far, far out of character for Housewife's Day, but she can stick to housecleaning today. Jake's got the cooking covered for Men Make Dinner Day, although I'm not sure anyone is going to be pleased with the results.

Fortunately for the whole Morgendorffer family, it's also Sandwich Day. PBJ can be a good Plan B if they run out of frozen lasagna.

Fandom News!

Tuesday, November 1, 2016

Write a Saintly Novel!


Mack's going the old-fashioned route for National Novel Writing Month, also known as NaNoWriMo. Various members of fandom have participated in this event, and I could see Daria trying it, as well. If nothing else, it's good for overcoming procrastination. As long as she doesn't run into another awful writer's block, of course.

Today is also All Saints' Day, which probably means the "bunch of saint's days" that Cupid can't keep track of all have to share this one. With that kind of treatment, I wouldn't blame them if they blew off Holiday Island to start a band of their own.

Fanfic Update!
  • Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by EntrancedCat (part 45): "Daria was tired, wasn't she? She had never felt like this before. Of course, who had ever experienced anything like appearing suddenly on a spaceship, no, she corrected herself, a starship that she had thought was a fictional TV setting?"

  • Lucy in the Sky with Daria, by Blake C Stacey (BlakeStacey) (COMPLETE!): "A borrowed space in late summer, between the arboretum soil and the branches of a weeping linden. Two young women. 'Jane, when did we meet? For the first time?'"

  • Mr. and Mrs. Lane (Story idea for adoption: Vincent and Amanda CIA operatives), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "It was the first time in five years that Vincent and Amanda Lane had made love. Amanda rose from the tiny bed in her husband's sparse apartment, and wrapped a heavy quilt around herself before she sat in a chair next to the dirt-spackled window."

  • A Resentful Cynic ch. 7 Another day, another pain, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "The next morning did not begin well for Daria. Her face ached, and in general she felt lousy. Things got worse when she came down to breakfast because the screams of surprise/terror that the members of her family uttered perforated her eardrums."

  • Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 24): "Daria took another swig of her Ambrosia Mojito and finished her lecture...."

  • Stargate Delicately Balanced Daria Chapter Two, by Meester_Lee (parts 1 and 2): "Helen Morgendorffer awoke with a start, looked at the clock by her side of the bed, and ran into the bathroom to get ready to start her day at the office. She was in the shower when she remembered that it was Sunday morning and her eldest daughter had been returned to her safe and sound." (Part 2)

  • Thanksgiving, by dmsfanman (part 1): "'No Mother, I am not coming home this weekend,' Tom said over his mobile phone."

  • To Be Real, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "Daria felt the loss of her friend much heavier than she had anticipated and found that she could no longer focus on the words before her; the tears that had threatened in the corners, now spilled over blurring the words as they hit the page."

  • Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "David Sorenson put the business card in his pocket, and then asked Daria, 'What would you do if you were asked to explain "right"?'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by Waylander (part 19): "They met purely by accident. When Darlene was ready to give up leave the circus after the fruitless search, the old Lizardman stuck his head out of the central pavilion."