Witness for the Persecution of Male Students

Ms. Barch looks much classier than usual, thanks to her alter ego as Marlene Dietrich, who was born on this day in 1901. Don't be fooled, though. Behind that calm, suave exterior beats the heart of a raving lunatic.

For those who prefer their celebrities to be more childish and fictional, it was on this day in 1947 that the first episode of Howdy Doody was broadcast. Decades later, Upchuck would do a fantastic job of emulating the puppet without even trying.

Finally, it may be winter but there's no reason you can't celebrate Visit the Zoo Day! Especially if you're looking for inspiration for a new hairstyle.

Fandom News!

• Share your Christmas greetings.

What Time Is It?

Ms. Barch is looking classy as the late Marlene Dietrich, born on this day in 1901. Dietrich was more than just an actress; her history is a fascinating one.

Today is also the anniversary of Howdy Doody, who made his first appearance on this day in 1947. No word on whether Upchuck's resemblance to the character is intentional or not.

Fanfic Update!

• AcceleraTed (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "The instructor slid into the passenger seat with his clipboard and nodded to Ted. 'Begin when you're ready.'"


• Convergence on Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "Once through the portal they looked around. The Doctor with the sonic and Quinn with the binoculars. There weren’t any people nearby."


• Daria's 12 Days of Christmas, by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Tom: 'Are we really doing this' he said with a sigh setting up the Camera and pointing it at the couch."


• Fizzled Out, by Erin M (part 8): "Jane wasn’t quite as precise as she thought in her prediction. She woke up around seven on Saturday morning."


• Rude Awakening: A Strange Christmastime Special, by DIsaac (part 4): "DANNY: I can’t believe you agreed to play this game, Daria!"

Life is a Cabarchet

Barch is enjoying a turn as the late actress Marlene Dietrich, who was born on this day in 1901. If classic movies aren't your thing, you could enjoy some nice children's programming in honor of Howdy Doody's debut on this day in 1947. See if Upchuck (a.k.a. the "Howdy-Doody-looking freak") wants to join in.

Fanfic Update!

• Ashtrapped, by WellTemperedClavier (part 1): "It'd be so easy to just disappear. Sweat streaming down her face, Daria focused on lifting one booted foot after the other."


• Holiday Hell, by Princess_Pasta (parts 1 and 2): "Logan International Airport was teeming with holiday travelers and Daria Morgendorffer was one of many. She'd never liked crowds as a child and she hated them even more as an adult." (Part 2)


• Sexual Miseducation (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Daria and Quinn are in the kitchen catching up. 'So, Daria, what do you think?' Daria asked 'About?' Quinn said 'The overall situation.'"


• Thank U, by Lady Evil (part 28): "Why the hell did I come here of all places? Jane wondered as Sammy Squirrel played a guitar and led a throng of six year olds in a chorus of "If You're Happy And You Know It Clap Your Hands". Oh yeah, because Pizza King reminds me too much of her. Hell, this place reminds me of her!"

What Does Barch Think of Male Puppets?

Ms. Barch is looking classy as the late actress Marlene Dietrich, who was born on this day in 1901. Aside from this alter ego and their German last names, I'm not sure the two women have anything in common.

Today is also the "birthday" of Howdy Doody, who made his first appearance on this day in 1947. I don't know if the resemblance between the marionette and Upchuck was intentional, but Andrea certainly seemed to think so.

Fanfic Update!

• Baby It's Cold Outside, by elainefr (COMPLETE!): "'Come on, just a little while more,' Trent tried to coerce Daria into staying a bit longer. 'I really can't... I've got to get back...'"


• Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (parts 7 - 8): "The restaurant was really nice. The décor was classic Bavarian country style – even though they were not in Bavaria. There were various scenes painted on the wall and the beer was excellent!" (Part 8)


• Murder, She Etched, by Sacred Dust (parts 4 and 5): "When Amanda came back into the dining room, she saw that Jane had changed tables and was talking quietly with Percy, the well-spoken young man with the book. Jane nodded to let her know everything was all right." (Part 5)


• Saved By the Bell, or: The Unexpected Virtue of Sarcasm, by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "So there I was, coming out of the Mall of the Millennium with an arm full of Christmas presents, just about to reach the snow bank next to my parked car, when I felt the grip of a pistol smash into my skull."


• Theory of Aesthetics, by Anonymous (COMPLETE!): "'Okay but so like, are there any paintings here that aren't totally depressing?' Quinn yelled from the next room over. 'Okay, but, so, like, do you even know what paint is for if it doesn't go on your eyelids?' Jane yelled right back at her."

The Actress and the Misandrist

Barch is doing her best impression of the late actress Marlene Dietrich, who was born on this day in 1901. I'm not sure the two women have anything whatsoever in common aside from this alter ego, but Dietrich was born in Germany and "Barch" sounds vaguely German, so there's that.

Fanfic Update!

• The Car Confrontation, by mabel (COMPLETE!): "Gay and in love with one's presumably straight best friend is never a good situation to be in, but Daria found herself in it time and time again."


• The Choice, by Erin M. (part 1): "It happened at lunch. Sunset Shimmer and her friends had been eating and chatting as usual when the announcement came over the PA."


• Daria: College Pains The Sophomore Year, by James the Lesser (part 14): "Daria is unsure why she was asked to stay after class by her professor. She had turned in the last assignment and hadn't cut any classes."


• The Furious Beat (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Daria,' Hoffman said, 'before I put you on the City Desk, I have to float you by the Editor in Chief.'"


• Morning Ritual (Iron Chef: Quinn in 11th Grade), by Zetor (part 1): "Quinn's alarm started blaring the local top twenty station, gradually pulling her from her sleep. Yawning, she reached over to her nightstand, turned off the radio, and grabbed the book she'd left there the night before."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef : MMORPG, Lawndale style), by Waylander (part 10): "Hello to all my readers. Today I managed to get a short interview with one of the people responsible for the well-known multiplayer role-playing game Realms of Altherra. His real name is kept secret for safety reasons, so I'll call him Ernst Gruber, after the character he used as a beta-tester of the game."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Quinn in 11th Grade), by EntrancedCat (COMPLETE!): "Quinn slipped her Aquinas essay from her locker into her backpack. She hoped that Mr. O'Neill wouldn't cry at her take on just war theory like the tears he had shed at the beauty of her exposition of Augustine's declaration of the inexplicableness of free will."


• Write Said Ted (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "Ted was just approaching his Language Arts class one afternoon when he was startled to see Daria Morgendorffer leaving the classroom. The surprise wasn't because he didn't expect her to be at school, or because he didn't think she took Language Arts, or because there was anything particularly startling about Daria Morgendorffer."

Say, Kids! What Time Is It?

Happy birthday to the late Marlene Dietrich, who was born on this day in 1901. Ms. Barch's alter ego on the right is of the actress/singer, but I don't think she can pull off the look nearly as well as Dietrich did.

Today is also the anniversary of the 1947 debut of Howdy Doody, beloved children's show icon and oddly similar in appearance to Upchuck--or so Andrea thinks in "Fair Enough."

Fandom News!

• Check out some budget hotels taken to the extreme. Now taking reservations!


• neonhomer ponders addiction to Daria.


• The holiday may be over, but you can still join in the Christmas singalong!


• If you've seen Mission: Impossible -- Ghost Protocol, post your thoughts in the thread.


• Walter Kovacs posted a new Iron Chef: Mad Dog gets therapy.


• Send in your nominations for the Daria Fanworks Awards.

The Blue Angel and the Robotrix

Two famous German women were born on this day, an actress and an author, who have found their separate ways into Daria lore.

Today is first the 108th anniversary of the birth of mega-actress Marlene Dietrich, for whom a most unusual alter ego was created by MTV for Janet Barch (seen at right). Go to this link to learn more about The Blue Angel. (The whole story was written up in detail last year, so there's no sense in repeating it now.) Thanks to Pinhead and UU for the big image!

This is also the 121st anniversary of the birth of Thea von Harbou, an actress better known for screenplays written in collaboration with her husband, filmmaker Fritz Lang. Von Harbou helped pen the scripts for two early science-fiction movies, Metropolis (1927) and Frau im Mond (1929). She wrote the novelization of Metropolis and so became a science-fiction writer. She unfortunately became enamored of Nazism (unlike Ms. Dietrich, who detested it), and that ruined her marriage to Lang. After she survived World War II, her movie career was pretty much ruined, too.

Renown fanfic writer Milo Minderbinder penned a parody of Metropolis, called "Lawntropolis" (completed May 2001), and inked astounding art to go with it, including an animated alter ego of Daria as the female robot of Metropolis. An image of the original movie robot appears at upper left. Compares well with the Daria-bot, yes? Kudos to Milo for the fantastic work.

NEW! NU NUZ!

• Iron Chef: Single Mom Helen has been posted by the legendary Ms. Kinnikufan.

FAN ART

• Pinhead's work for the final chapter of "Love Is a Series of Burning Sensations."
• Vlora's alternate-universe duos: Ms. DeMartino and Ms. O'Neill, and Kellie Thompson and Brint Taylor.
• NEW! Vlora exceeds the speed of awesome. Holy cow almighty.
• NEW! VLORA EXCEEDS THE SPEED OF EPIC WIN!!!
  

FF.net

• So Much for the Cheese Fries... by SinisterDragula (COMPLETE!): A dark, ominous cloud enveloped the peaceful sky with each second until it became almost pitch black. The rolling thunder cackled a few moments after lightning shot through the sky. Freezing, misty rain floated down onto the two girls’ clothing, their fabric glistening with moisture. The auburn haired girl shivered at the crack of thunder and looked at her companion.
• Technicolor Dream, by Miss Pennyfeather (Part 1): They were out of beer, or any form of beverage. So he had to go out and buy some more. Janey was off with Tom somewhere. Probably at the parade.

PPMB

• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy (Part 15): As Scarlett’s cries subsided, Roger held her gently and asked, his voice a whisper, “How are you holding up?”
  
• Anti-Trope, by Minx (continued): “These are really good,” Dean said as he continued to leaf through the art book and admire Jane’s work. He stopped at one and rotated his head slightly; a befuddled frown crept across his face. “This one’s quite...” He paused as he searched for an appropriate word.
• Bumpmas, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): Bump sat on a window sill and looked through a window of the Williamstown, Virginia, apartment. The small, shared lawn of the duplex was dusted with snow and she felt alone. It had been four months since her humans had moved here and while she appreciated their devotion, she missed the Chosen One's friends.
  
• Daria: The Untold Story, by Ajar (continued): How I Came To Be Daria's Twelfth Understudy Show Runner.
  
• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): She was trapped in a giant beryllium tube of mirrors spinning and tumbling into other versions of herself, forming temporary symmetries before some of her other selves made contact with the inner wall of the tube and vaporized in a chain reaction of blue light.
• Finn Morgendorffer 22: Daddy, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): “Mommy!” Jake’s voice jumped at least an octave as he made his meek plea. “Where’s my mommy?”
• Flappable, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Mom, Dad," Tom said with obvious pride. "I want you to meet my girlfriend, Brittany Taylor!"
• The Lane Way, by Vlora (COMPLETE!): Christmas time in the Lane household was abysmal at best; not that Jane could expect much. Her parents saw no point in celebrating it, as they felt their family was close enough to feel comfortable being apart… as if that made any sense. Especially as they had explained this to a hysterical six-year-old who had been told Santa was a cooperate lie.
  
• Love Is a Series of Burning Sensations, by Undefinedlust (COMPLETE!): The room was silent save for the smacking of lips and the occasional moan as the box moved wildly around on the living room floor.
• Quinn: The Show—Episode 1, by Ajar (COMPLETE!): "I don't know why I was put in this class in the first place. I mean, I'm clearly a normal person unlike all the other people in the class, but I guess it's never a bad idea to brush up on the basics. Knowing what weight is good for your height and proper mirror use are skills that will stand us in good stead the rest of our lives." "You clearly haven't learned anything from the class, and I can't in good conscience let you graduate Now, go sit down."
  
• A Reaper in the Wind, by Richard Lobinske (Parts 2 and 3): "You had another mind inside your head with you? That is so cool!" "I find it rather disturbing." "Well, yeah, but still cool."
  
• Scarlett the Fairy Meets Santa Claus, by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): Our young heroine was quite awake... and waiting patiently for Santa... with a net and a tranquilizer dart.
• The Secret Life Of Tammy Sloane, by MidnightStorm (continued): "Mom! Gawd, how many times do I have to tell you? I… Did… Not… Hack… Into… The… School's… Computer… Seriously! I can't even type a full sentence under a minute!"
• Size Does Matter, by BlackHole (Parts 43 to 45): “So, could anyone NAME me what NAtions were inVOLved in the MEXican-AMErican war?” Mr. DeMartino asked into the classroom, surveying the class and not expecting any real answers. Almost as usual, Daria had her hand raised in a bored way.
• Two Halves 5: Mall Rat Blues, by Dark Kuno (continued): “You know we’re going to see it on the news one day. ‘Coaster disaster at the Mall of the Millennium’,” stated Mack as he leaned against the rail and joined the others in watching the ride. “Maybe we’ll get lucky and they’ll have live footage of the ensuing carnage,” added Jane.
  
• Unnamed story, by Trscroggs (continued): Blossom dragged her exhausted body through the Open Eye Café’s front door. If she had the energy to spare she would have lifted her eyebrows in surprise. Several transformed girls where in various parts of the café, some eating, some drinking, and quite a few sleeping. What she hadn’t expected was the new, and still unnamed, girl sitting in a corner listening to Warlock.
  
• Unnamed story (Daria/Jane Burnout?), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): Daria fell to her knees and put one hand on the half-torn robot corpse before her. Hydraulics and other fluids leaked from the skinless metal legs as she stroked black hair away from sightless blue eyes. "Oh, Jane," she said softly. "I know you were really just a cyborg from the future sent to destroy me... but I loved you!" (continued here)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Merry Christmas!), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): Daria and Jane were in the usual pizza joint, but were eating a festive holiday pizza... meaning it had both green and red bell peppers on it.
  
• Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "I... hate... this!" Daria wheezed as they chased their quarry. Jane grinned, showing a wide expanse of teeth. "Come on, Morgendorffer!" she said, sounding perfectly at ease as she jogged alongside her partner. "Get the lead out!"
• NEW! Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by Lorenzo Sauchelli (COMPLETE!): Jane smiled and winked at her partner. She didn't seem bothered at all by the Army Rangers that were surrounding her. "Now, this should be fun."
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: Hump Day), by Roentgen (fragment): "Mom," said Daria, "there is no way that you can date Kevin Thompson."
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: Hump Day), by Vlora (COMPLETE!): "Jane, cut the crap. My parents are paying you to be friends with me, aren't they?"
• Unnamed story (Three-peat! New Ideas Thread Wins Again!), by Lorenzo Sauchelli (COMPLETE!): Jane sighed in frustration at her utter incompetence. She proceed to glare at the easel in front of her, took her brush backwards and stabbed the painting with no mercy. "Squeal little pig! Squeal!" she exclaimed as red paint splashed her face. (Daria/Let the Right One In)
  

SFMB

• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy (up to Part 15)
• Size Does Matter, by BlackHole (up to Part 45)

You're Going to Love This One

You have to sit down and wonder just who in the world came up with the whole alter-ego idea for Daria. If anyone gets to talk with Glenn Eichler or any other major hitter on the MTV animation team, that question should be asked first. The artists used enormous creativity in recasting familiar characters in startling roles pulled from every aspect of popular culture, from the instantly familiar to the obscure. Today's featured alter ego is one of the more "out there" examples.

Today happens to be the 107th anniversary of the birth of the German-born film star Marlene Dietrich (at right), who eventually came to the U.S. and became one of Hollywood's greatest screen icons. Her breakout role came in the movie Der Blaue Engel (The Blue Angel) in 1930, in which she portrayed a cabaret singer for whom an esteemed schoolteacher destroys his career and loses his life. Ms. Dietrich's signature costume for this role involved a silk top hat and a man's tuxedo.

And that is what Ms. Barch is wearing in an early-series alter ego (at left), her brunette hair styled in the manner of Ms. Dietrich's, not necessarily from The Blue Angel. Even has the cigarette. I guess the artist picked Barch for the role because Lola-Lola (the cabaret singer) caused a respected man's downfall. Kinda fits with the misanthropy, you see. (Maybe Barch was cast as Monica Lewinsky in another alter ego for the same reason.)

This cultural reference is not exactly obscure, but only a nutbar film buff is going to look at that alter ego and instantly shout, "Marlene Dietrich in The Blue Angel!" Did any of you do that when you saw Ms. Barch like that? Many Daria alter egos are drawn from the mass media of the 1990s, but not from the German cinema of 1930. Perhaps the interest that Daria and Jane shared in "the cinema" was also shared by some of the Daria design team. This alter ego says more about the people who thought it up than anything else.

By the way, if you saw the movie Blazing Saddles (which I have, over 20 times), the role that Lili von Schtupp (Madeline Kahn) plays is basically Marlene Dietrich.

Amazing what you can learn from a cartoon, isn't it?


IN OTHER NEWS....

Now 1,080 fans in the Daria Fan Club, and loads of things to do there.

Most recent entry in DariaWiki.... what the hell?