I'll Be--Gahhh!

Jake's either a time-traveler from the future bent on destroying all squirrels or he's got a cool new cosplay for Arnold Schwarzenegger's birthday today. Then again, there's no reason it can't be both.

Meanwhile, Daria and Jane are probably celebrating International Day of Friendship by...eating pizza and watching Sick, Sad World, I imagine. It's not like either of them is into arbitrary holidays, after all.

Fandom News!

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• Answer Dervish's question about entertainment in the Trek-verse.

But Don't Call Him a Cowboy Until You See Him Ride

Travis is here to tell us that today is not only National Day of the Cowboy, but also the anniversary of the episode "Speedtrapped," which aired on this day in 1999. I'm not sure Travis has very fond memories of that one, though--he very nearly became roadkill thanks to Daria's sudden homicidal urges. I mean, Travis and his country music were annoying, but not run-him-over-with-a-car annoying.

Fanfic Update!

• Hunters and Lingerie (Quinn, Season 5), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn has just placed a tray of fudge brownies on the counter and is coating them in chocolate frosting. In front of her is a camcorder on a tripod. She finishes coating the brownies." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Knight in shining armor, by Rémi (parts 1 - 4): "Daria and Brittany are sharing a table in Ms. Defoe's class ; Daria is effortlessly drawing, while Brittany is having a tough time. Brittany : Perspective is hard." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria the Unreliable Narrator), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "'So. What is next?' 'I think about something very impressive. Like a Brodway style musical. I can make some good special effects.'"

Aunts at a Picnic

Amy and Rita are arguing about which of them has more right to celebrate National Aunt and Uncle's Day, and it's actually kind of hard to decide. I mean, Rita's not great but Amy barely recognized her own nieces at Erin's wedding, so I think it's a bit of a toss-up. Honestly, I just want to know why there are so few uncles on Daria.

On the subject of nasty blow-ups, today is also the anniversary of the episode "Fire!," which aired on this day in 2000. By blow-ups, do I mean Jake accidentally setting the kitchen on fire or Jane and Daria hurtling headlong toward disaster with Tom? Why not both?

Fandom News!

• You know you're getting old when.... Fill in your own experiences!


• View and discuss the trailer for Glass.


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Two Wildly Different Humor Styles

Jesse's going to need yet another new shirt pretty soon as he impersonates Gallagher on the prop comic's birthday. I don't know if that's a greased-up Camp Grizzly watermelon or not, but either way things are about to get messy.

Speaking of comedy, today is also the fifth anniversary of the "Daria: High School Reunion" trailer from College Humor. The trailer was sadly fake, but now that there's a Daria revival in the works, maybe we'll finally get to see more of our favorite snarky teenager soon.

Fanfic Update!

• Changing Lanes, by midnightabyss86 (part 14): "Quinn tapped her foot, as she sat at the breakfast table, and clicked the pen she was using on and off with angry impatience."


• A colossal jerk (Iron Chef: Daria the Unreliable Narrator), by Rémi (COMPLETE!): "Daria : Excuse me. Tommy : You're kidding, right ? You think I'm going to talk to you ? (looks at Jane) You, maybe. Like, four hours into a kegger."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 44): "Lillian Barksdale sorted through her mail, setting the personal letters aside from bills, advertisements, and the usual assortment of charities pleasing for money."


• Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 3): "Erin drifted awake. She allowed sounds to wash over her. The soft and rhythmic click that her fridge produced. The muted hum of the traffic outside. The muffled conversations below as the purchase of flowers took place."


• I would put roses round our door (Iron Chef: Daria the Unreliable Narrator), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'So, I met someone today. A guy.' 'Oh, that's good.' Her sardonic voice bounced around the pizza place, hollower than usual."


• Old Friends/Bookends (Iron Chef: Daria the Unreliable Narrator), by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "Jane never could get the hang of empathy, not until she met Daria. Then it was as easy as staring in the mirror, because to Jane, Daria was pretty much her worst fears brought to life."


• Rise of Weirdness, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "It was early in the morning, but the Winchester Library of Magic was already busy, with more than a dozen people browsing the shelves."


• Silent treatment, by Rémi (COMPLETE!): "Jake is driving his daughters to school; Quinn is riding shotgun, Daria is in the back seat. Jake : Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town -- especially for you, Daria, right?" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria the Unreliable Narrator), by OzFerret (COMPLETE!): "Please understand that I do not break student confidentiality lightly. I am driven to do so by the need to protect students everywhere."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria the Unreliable Narrator), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'So, welcome to Self-Esteem,' Timothy O'Neill said. 'This is sort of a group format. I know that all of you have been mandated to come and I know you don't want to be here. I suspect that there's a lot of anger.'"


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 139): "An ambulance pulled up to the front of Cedars of Lawndale. A young woman, known for her celebrity and her side ponytails, watched as the back of the ambulance was unloaded."

Lock Up Your Ritalin!

Today is Ratcatcher's Day, and it looks like at least one person could use some help in that department. Jake has a similar problem, except that his rats have fluffy tails and like to knock over his garbage cans.

Fandom News!

• Watch the Muppets/Doctor Who crossover and share your thoughts.


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• A new Iron Chef was posted in Creative Writing: Daria the Unreliable Narrator.

Not the Most Dignified Way to Feed a Sweet Tooth

Jane has the right idea for National Lollipop Day, but I think she's less likely to eat the candy than she is to whack whoever tricked her into wearing that dress and wig over the head with it.

Speaking of Jane, today is also the anniversary of the episode "See Jane Run," which aired on this day in 1998. Perhaps Evan, having eventually being revealed as a jerk, will be next in line for a candy clobbering.

Fanfic Update!

• Changing Lanes, by midnightabyss86 (parts 11 and 12): "'Um, I hope my parents didn't give you the third degree while you were waiting for me,' said Daria, as she and Trent drove out of her neighborhood. 'I would have been down sooner, but once Quinn saw that the only shoes of mine that she could match to your eyes were my combat boots, there was no stopping her.'" (Part 12)


• Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Smijey and Erin M. (parts 24 and 25): "Janice knew that she was dreaming, this time. It didn't help." (Part 25)


• Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 2): "Erin hung her outside coat on the rack and placed her bag under her Desk. Still shivering she looked around the office. Why does anyone live this far north? It is so cold. They cannot all be escaping their grandmother."


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 20): "'Are you certain about this, young lady?' demanded Agent Flemming. 'Because making false statements towards the government is a serious federal crime.'"


• Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 18): "'Good news, szereto.' Elizaveta said as she spoke to her girlfriend over the phone. 'Anya and Apa agreed to me staying home instead of going camping with everyone else.'"


• Strange Love (Quinn, Season 5), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jim is opening presents in front of his parents, Tony and Gina. Also present are his brother, Chris, and his Uncle, Vito. It's Jim's sixteenth birthday. Jim opens one. It's a video game." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen and Brother Grimace (parts 137 and 138): "Sandi Griffin and Mack Mackenzie waited in the office reserved for them at the Legion Academy. 'Do you think that she knows what's coming?' Sandi said." (Part 138)


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by OzFerret (COMPLETE!): "Jane Lane paced nervously around the quickly drawn meeting room. She was too agitated to sit. Where was he? He should have been here 15 minutes ago. This was a typical power play and it did not bode well."


• The Wrath of Con (formerly Aurora), by Lady Evil (part 19): "Danny answered the door one Saturday to find Artie on his porch with a large grocery bag. 'Hey, Danny!' he said. 'Wanna make 520 bucks?'"

He Really Does Wish He Were an Oscar Mayer Wiener

Kevin's taking National Hot Dog Day to quite the extreme, but I must say it's a pretty appropriate alter ego when you think about it. At least we've been spared the Oscar Mayer Wiener Song, which I'm sure is part of his repertoire alongside such classics as "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall." Jake, I'm sure, has ordered another crate full of hot dogs to celebrate, unless he just typed in the wrong product number again. Damn fuzzy computer screen!

Fandom News!

• Read about the Icelandic whalers who "accidentally" killed a blue whale.


• Discuss songs you vividly remember from childhood.


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Yesssssss, Eric?

Helen's really gone all out for World Snake Day, and there's a lawyer joke in there that I am definitely not going to stoop to make, no sir. Cough.

Today is also Global Hug Your Kids Day, and while Jake and Helen were known to give their kids the occasional hug on the show, I think Daria and Quinn would rather wait until Helen looks a little less like a boa constrictor.

Fanfic Update!

• Changing Lanes, by midnightabyss86 (part 9): "'A couple of best friends sharing shots... of gunfire! Vice Presidential Gunplay next on '"Sick, Sad World!"' Jane clicked off the TV, when she heard a knock on the door. 'Yo!' she called, allowing Trent into her room."


• Disturbia (Quinn, Season 5), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "There is a "For Sale by Bank" sign in the front yard. A Prius pulls into the driveway, which is on the right side. This is followed by Jim's 1987 Camaro IROC-Z." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jodie are best friends), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "It was a boring young Democrats panel. Though there was an unusual element. The place. It was an Appalachian resort in '30 style. No. Not in style, it was an well functioning '30 resort with an original Art Deco building (like in Tim Burton's Batman, but not so grim)."


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 136): "Rain was pouring over the windshield of the Gridrunner. Daria couldn't look outside and see the runway if she wanted to."


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XV: A New Era In Crossovers), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "'So now our allies, the Tramani, think of Quinn as a hero who saved their planet.' Li said, looking over the report."

No Nudes is Good Nudes!

I have no idea how Jane talked Daria into observing National Nude Day, but it looks like Daria is already regretting her decision. Just remember the sage advice of Brittany Taylor: only do a nude scene if it's crucial to your character.

Today is also the anniversary of both episodes "The Teachings of Don Jake" and "Lane Miserables," which aired on this day in 1997 and 1999. Both episodes gave us an extra glimpse into Jane and Trent's family, and neither one was very flattering.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the poll for Oz DariaCon redux.


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• Talk about Quinn's middle name and other canon vs. fanon details.

Metalmouth Should Consider Green For That Touch of Exotica That Many Young Psychopaths Crave

Mr. DeMartino is celebrating Different Colored Eyes Day, although I don't know if "bulging" counts as a color. I suppose "bloodshot" does, though. He might want to have a talk with Quinn about colored contact lenses, which of course will lead into a conversation about changing hairstyles and getting a whole new wardrobe and oops I think the eye just popped out entirely.

Of course, I should point out that the picture is technically of Metalmouth, which is appropriate because today is also the anniversary of the episode "Legends of the Mall," which aired on this day in 2000. Metalmouth made his only appearance there, as did the Rattling Girl of Lawndale and the House of Bad Grades. Lawndale sure is full of urban legends that were never ever mentioned again, huh?

Fanfic Update!

• Changing Lanes, by midnightabyss86 (part 8): "'YOO HOO! SIS!" 'Agh!' Quinn woke up with a fright. Her head was throbbing. The sunlight pouring through her bedroom window hurt her eyes."


• Coffee, by Zetor (part 2g): "'I guess so,' Stacy agreed, giving Daria's hand a final squeeze before letting go and standing up. 'I'm going to go take the turkey out. Can you take those to the kitchen?' she asked, gesturing to the now mostly empty plate and mugs on the coffee table."


• Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 6): "Daria watched as the last bucket of regolith was poured on top of the High Oxygen Outland Central Habitat or HOOCH for short."


• Decisions, by elainefr (part 20): "'You two seem better,' Jane spoke to her sister in law while they shared a glass of tea for Jane and water for the extremely pregnant mother to be."


• Erin Chambers, by OzFerret (part 1): "Erin held the paycheck in both hands and read her name again. They would have the bank details in their system next week. 'Yes. Finally getting my own life back' she thought."


• Jenna – Just your regular spellslinging gal, by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "A lot of stories begin with a tragedy. Or a joke. One of the two is the classical move in storytelling and often set's the entire theme for the story which will follow." (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Quinn The Matchmaker (Quinn, Season 5), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Daria is in her room reading a book. Her look is a little different. Her glasses are wire frams but instead of a sweater or a bulky green jacket she's wearing a green t-shirt that, while not super tight, does reveal that she has curves." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Brother Grimace (part 135): "'Oh, my. That's a sight that brings back memories.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "'I don't like this red one. It makes you look...tacky.' 'Nathan, I like this dress. You know, red lips, red soul, favourite colour and all that jazz.' Jane smiled as she saw herself."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by OzFerret (COMPLETE!): "Trent listened to the stranger on the phone. Trent replied. 'I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills, skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my sister go now, that'll be the end of it.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Have I mentioned your dad's modifications to the staircase are much appreciated?' Daria asked Jane as the pair stared out the window."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Saga Goes On), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria was unpacking her stuff in her dorm room at Raft when a knock came at the door. 'Come in, it's unlocked,' she called out."

Hot as Helen

Helen's doing a visual representation of Death Valley on this day in 1913, when the record hottest temperature there was recorded: 134 °F (56.7 °C). The next time you're sweating out the summer heat without air conditioning, remind yourself that it could be worse. By which I mean you could be wearing an embarrassing outfit like Helen's in public.

Fandom News!

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Just Don't Paint a Video Game

Jake's taken Body Painting Day to an extreme, or at least I hope that's just body paint. If those are tattoos then he and Helen are going to have a serious disagreement as soon as she gets home.

Daria, meanwhile, is settling in for some quality time with Cannibal Fragfest for Video Games Day. Unless Ted talks her into joining him in some virtual reality, that is.

Fanfic Update!

• Changing Lanes, by midnightabyss86 (part 6): "'I'm just saying that if I were your consultant, I'd give your line something a bit more... edgy! Like The Elegante,' said Jake, throwing around his fall-back pitch to his latest client."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (parts 42 and 43): "The Morgendorffers were tired after their drive from Coalton, their adventures at Gettysburg, and dinner at Pizza Forest. Still, a good night's sleep did wonders—at least for some people." (Part 43)


• My Breast Fiend, by Smijey (parts 7 - 9): "Darius rang the doorbell; within moments, Brittany answered. 'Darius, you're here!' she said happily. 'I'm so glad. Now we're even!' 'This is Jane --' Darius said, trying to introduce his friend." (Part 8) (Part 9)


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Brother Grimace and Roentgen (parts 133 and 134): "Daria smiled at the image of Michael Fulton - now, First Lieutenant Fulton, U.S. Air Force - on the view-screen in the Conference Room; her phone was on a cradle set on the table before her, which connected it to the screen. 'So, you're getting to stay with the assignment you wanted all along?'" (Part 134)

A Rash of Artwork

It's Frida Kahlo's birthday, and Jane has found a special way to mark the occasion. Also...is that Trent's head on the deer in the Wounded Deer painting? I feel like maybe there's something significant there, but I'm not a psychologist.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Ill," which aired on this day in 1998. That strange rash was never adequately explained, and the mystery haunts me to this day.

Fandom News!

• Find out more about the latest nerve agent casualties in England.


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Happy Fourth!

Jane's feeling patriotic for Independence Day, and to all the Daria fans in the U.S., I hope it's a happy one for you! I'm not sure exactly what the Holiday Island version of Independence Day would be like, but I assume alcohol and pyrotechnics would be involved. If you're in the mood for a holiday celebration then feel free to start with this selection of Fourth-of-July themed fanfics:

• Fireworks by C.E. Forman


• Freedom of Speech (Falling into College) by Richard Lobinske


• Fun on the Fourth (First Summer) by Richard Lobinske


• Independence (Finn Morgendorffer) by HolyGrail2007


• Life is Like A Firework (Daria - The Next Chapter) by LadieT

Fanfic Update!

• Aurora, by Lady Evil (part 18): "'What are you gonna do tonight?' Jane asked Trent in their living room. 'Play hockey, I guess.' he said. He was wearing the red and black jersey and pads the station provided for him."


• Because I Got High, by ladylace616 (COMPLETE!): "The group decided to watch the movie Pineapple Express together one evening."


• Cuckoos On Infinite Earths, by Smijey and Charles RB (parts 20 - 23): "'Girls, I just want you to know your mother and I realize it's not easy moving to a whole new town,' Janice Walker told her two daughters." (Part 21) (Part 23)


• Fates Entwined, by Deep Metal (part 19): "'So, uh, these two are Beavis and Butt-head?' Tom looked at the two, scratching his head. Kevin and Tom both examined Beavis and Butt-head."


• My Breast Fiend, by Smijey (part 6): "'You can't go!' Quinn cried out. 'You'll ruin everything!' Darius gave Jane an I-told-you-this-was-a-bad-idea-now-can-I-just-get-into-a-bathtub-with-a-plugged-in-toaster-oven look, but she paid him no mind."


• Options, by Brother Grimace (parts 9 - 11): "'Hey! Asshole! Move your fucking crutches!' Luttrell Ingram Thompson (he went by his full name, as he hadn't been close enough to anyone in years to have picked up a nickname, or any other term of friendship or endearment) left his train of thought at the sound of the voice, and moved his forearm crutches from where they had slipped out into the aisle of the bus." (Part 10) (Part 11)


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (parts 131 and 132): "For the second year in a row, the Legionnaires prepared to meet in their new space-age meeting room. Daria joked that it was the 'room from the future'." (Part 132)

Keep Watching the Skies!

Either Daria has a secret she's never told us or she's gotten really into that UFO convention this year. Either way, it's a good way to celebrate World UFO Day, unless you're Artie, in which case a better way would be to panic and go hide under your bed.

If any UFOs do show up, perhaps they'll return Amelia Earhart, who disappeared on this day in 1937.

Fandom News!

• Talk about the FIFA World Cup.


• Zetor made a Discord server for Daria and invites everyone to join.


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• Brother Grimace muses about writing from the perspective of other cultures.