Chocolate For All Parents! Especially Me!

Helen and Jake are celebrating Parents' Day properly with a nice family hug, although Daria might not agree that this is the best way to observe the holiday. Quinn is nowhere to be found, but rest assured that her parents will surely find some way to embarrass and/or horrify her before the day is over.

I am a parent, but I'm thinking I might rather participate in National Milk Chocolate Day! Maybe Jane can eat some unauthorized chocolate at school, or Daria and Tom could steal some of Quinn's candy given to her from her admirers...which, let's be honest, she was never going to eat anyway.

If you do steal chocolate, just don't get caught by the sheriff or you might meet the same fate as Mystik Spiral in the episode "Speedtrapped," which aired on this day twenty-five years ago. The last thing Daria wants to do is make another long drive to bail someone out. Then again, if it gives her an excuse to avoid any further parental hugs, she might just consider it.

Fanfic Update!

• The Big Notebook, by BracedRhombus (COMPLETE!): "It was a slow afternoon at the Strieder Detective Agency. I was sitting at my table in the school library reading the Lawndale High Code of Ethics and laughing at the funny parts, when She walked in."


• Spider Quinn 10 The New Heroes, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "Later that evening there was a surprise on the news. 'Breaking news. A third vigilante has been sighted in Lawndale. The description matches neither SpiderGirl nor Ninja Talon.'"

There's More Than One Way to Bring Glory to Laaaaaawndale High!

Ms. Li is having a terrific National Soccer Day, but I don't think the students are going to appreciate it. I guess it's still better than chopping open a soda machine with a fire ax, though.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Speedtrapped," which aired on this day in 1999. Daria got her driver's licence, Mystik Spiral got arrested, Quinn got a cute new outfit, and Travis...well, Travis just barely got away with his life.

Fandom News!

• Charles RB is passing the baton of the Lawndale High forum to Erin Mills.


• R.I.P., Sinead O'Connor.


• dennis71 has a question about "Love Is a Series of Burning Sensations."


• Talk about when pop stars have to do normal jobs.

Now She IS a Damn Chocolate Bar!

Looks like Mrs. Johanssen's wildest dream has come true in what can only be described as a National Milk Chocolate Day miracle. The downside is that eating her favorite food now qualifies as cannibalism.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Speedtrapped" in 1999. Never mind the fun of seeing Daria and Quinn work together or Mystik Spiral's take on children's songs--the real takeaway is the PSA about never picking up hitchhikers. They might be axe murderers or, worse, country music singers!

Fanfic Update!

• The Barksdale Son (Iron Chef: Daria The Youngest Barksdale), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Yo Daniel!' Daniel Barksdale glanced up from his laptop and the pile of books in front of him, the speaker was a friendly acquaintance of his, Julius Cornell."


• Big In Japan, by WildDogJJ (part 1): "A US Army patrol was traipsing through the jungle sweating profousely in the brutally hot sun. It's only April, but the heat and humidity are already unbearable."


• Daria on the Trail (Daria Landing In Another Fanfiction: An Experiment), by Meester_Lee (part 7): "The Northerner was gone when Mrs. Trout awoke Daria the next morning."


• Daria: Spring Is Icumin In, by Meester_Lee (part 2): "Amy Barksdale glared at her new ride’s dashboard to no avail. Not only would her new sports car not start up, the dashboard wouldn’t light up either."


• Ozark Odyssey (Linn's short stories (or ficlets, drabbles...)), by Linnofthewoods (parts 1 and 2): "'Welcome aboard,' the airline pilot spoke into the microphone. 'Our flight to the Bill and Hillary Clinton National Airport should be approximately four and a half hours.'" (Part 2)


• The Youngest Barksdale (Iron Chef: Daria The Youngest Barksdale), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Daria Barksdale looked at Lawndale as the plane flew over on approach to the airport. She still wasn’t sure why she had to live with Helen and her family."

But Don't Call Him a Cowboy Until You See Him Ride

Travis is here to tell us that today is not only National Day of the Cowboy, but also the anniversary of the episode "Speedtrapped," which aired on this day in 1999. I'm not sure Travis has very fond memories of that one, though--he very nearly became roadkill thanks to Daria's sudden homicidal urges. I mean, Travis and his country music were annoying, but not run-him-over-with-a-car annoying.

Fanfic Update!

• Hunters and Lingerie (Quinn, Season 5), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Quinn has just placed a tray of fudge brownies on the counter and is coating them in chocolate frosting. In front of her is a camcorder on a tripod. She finishes coating the brownies." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Knight in shining armor, by Rémi (parts 1 - 4): "Daria and Brittany are sharing a table in Ms. Defoe's class ; Daria is effortlessly drawing, while Brittany is having a tough time. Brittany : Perspective is hard." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria the Unreliable Narrator), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "'So. What is next?' 'I think about something very impressive. Like a Brodway style musical. I can make some good special effects.'"

A Holiday I Can Really Get Behind!

Daria and Tom are celebrating National Milk Chocolate Day, although I think I see a few dark chocolates mixed in there. I won't hold it against them, though, and I suspect neither would Mrs. Johanssen.

I don't think there was chocolate of any kind in the episode "Speedtrapped," which aired on this day in 1999. There was a slab of not-yet-thawed cake, though.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria: College Pains The Sophomore Year, by James the Lesser (part 16): "Daria leaves work with a headache. Ever since she had been made the Senior Editor she regretted every day taking the position."


• One And The Same, by Princess_Pasta (part 4): "Trent's beat-up Plymouth Satellite rattled down the road as he drove his two passengers towards their destination, part of him still in awe over the fact that his baby sister was going to a party."


• Possibilities, by Sureia (part 31): "When she first attended Fielding, Erin had mixed feelings about the school and its policies."

"I don't need a damn doctor, I need a damn chocolate bar!"

Daria and Tom are enjoying some unauthorized chocolate courtesy of Quinn because it's National Milk Chocolate Day! Whether or not Mrs. Johanssen is celebrating depends on how ethical the most recent door-to-door chocolate salesman was.

This is also the anniversary of the episode "Speedtrapped," which aired on this day in 1999. We saw one of the earliest Daria-Quinn team-ups, as well as Daria's sudden bloodlust against Travis. Fortunately (or not, depending on your perspective), Travis had quick reflexes.

Fandom News!

• Have you ever used any story analyzers? Share your favorites in the thread.


• In what ways does your life imitate Lawndale?


• GlitterShrooms wonders what would have happened if Daria had made the call in "See Jane Run"?


• Princess_Pasta shares pictures and stories from Otakon 2015.

Stacy O?

Happy birthday to the late Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis, who was born on this day in 1929. Although the former U.S. First Lady was known for being a fashion trendsetter, I'm not sure Stacy has what it takes to live in the media spotlight. At least without hyperventilating.

As far as canon connections, the only direct one I can think of is Jane's mention of "Quinnie O" in relation to Quinn's disguise during "A Tree Grows in Lawndale." This was most likely a reference to "Jackie O's" fashion style of wearing scarves and dark sunglasses later in life. I wonder whether the Fashion Club would approve or disapprove of her choice.

Today is also the anniversary of the episode "Speedtrapped" in 1999. We saw Daria's progression from timid driver to near-perpetrator of vehicular homicide, as well as some interesting glimpses into Quinn's activities during dates. Not to mention the delicious but virtually unbreakable ice cream cake.

Fandom News!

• Best wishes and congratulations to LadieT and The Angst Guy, who are getting married today!


• Where would Daria be today? Find out MTV's predictions and give your opinion.


• Share your Daria conspiracy theories in a new thread.


• Discuss the 2012 Olympics in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum.


• Four new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: Grifter74's Double or Nothing and Ladies first, januense's A good end after a bad start, and Ms. Kinnikufan's Barksdale sisters raised seperatly.


• Talk about The Alchemist's Electronic Alchemy series in the Golden Oldies forum.

The Jodie Landon Experience

Jimi Hendrix was born on this day in 1942. Jodie's alter ego of the late, great musician would probably give her parents at least one heart attack each, but doesn't she seem to be enjoying herself?

Daria canon gives us this anecdote about Hendrix, courtesy of Stan from "Speedtrapped":

Stan: Perhaps you fellows have heard of Jimi Hendrix.

Nick: You knew Hendrix?

Stan: You know how he played solos with his teeth?

Trent: You taught him that?

Stan: No, but one time when he broke a string, I drove him to the dentist.

I'm sure Stan was pulling that stuff out of thin air--when even Trent thinks you're full of it, you know you're a bad liar--but if he was going to make stuff up it seems like he could have come up with a more exciting story than that!

Hmm. I wonder if Stan ever met Joanna from "The Daria Hunter."

Fanfic Update!

• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (parts 7 and 8): "Trent held the door open for Daria, and she followed Jane in, with Trent following Daria. Jane took two steps in, looked around, and something caught her eye. 'Oh no.' said Jane half aloud. Since Jane stopped short, Daria bumped into her, and then Trent bumped into Daria. 'What’s the...' Daria started, then she saw her. 'Damn.”' She said to herself. 'Janey?' said Trent, then he saw her. 'Whoa.... *two* Darias?'" (Part 8)


• DW: The Many Doctors (Chapter 4) (Non-Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'This is strange,' Sabrina said. 'What is?' Sigrun asked after Daniel had left the room in a huff. She knew that she would win the arguement. 'The TARDIS is going beserk, usually the course changes are slight, but it is going all over the Milky Way!' Sabrina exclaimed. 'I suppose that there must be a reason?' Sigrun pondered. 'There has to be! The TARDIS can’t be doing it just for fun!'"


• Getting It On (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "She'd thought she'd known this place. She still knew Charlie; him taking a class hostage wasn't that strange, not after Carlson. But the class weren't hostages, that was the strange and terrifying part. They were revelling in this."


• I Burn For You (LLH 14.2), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Thanks for the tour of your city,' he said, raising his own glass. 'Sorry it didn’t end the way you would have liked – in your room at the sorority house, or at my hotel.' Several onlookers gasped – and a few that were already filming with cell-phone cameras smiled in triumph - as Anne threw her soda directly in Tom’s face. 'Consider that a disguise,' she said, setting her glass down and taking three ribs more for her trouble. 'Now, people will think you’re just a messy eater, instead of an asshole – or a coward.'" (Part 2)


• It's A Holiday's Night, by peapotmaster (part 1): "'What kind of job you got me this time? 'The mall is looking for someone to be an elf in the Santa House this year, and,' Helen spoke, but was interrupted. 'Not again,' replied Daria."


• Rude Awakening X-Tra: It's not war, It's Black Friday!, by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "SANDI: Now company! The hour of our glory is near. In two hours the first store for Black Friday shopping will open. I have brought you here for your talents that will be need to win this day. All of the planing and studying will come down to a few brief second when you get that one product you want. Daria, Question?"


• Tigresses of Lawndale (reposted), by taishigi (parts 1 and 2): "Vitale raised his hand to stop questions. 'Eric was seriously injured; at this time it is not clear how badly but it is not good for him no matter what. He will certainly never walk again; it is possible he will never even wake up.' Helen's hand flew to her face. 'His father is taking it hard. This, after two heart attacks . . . well, he decided he needed to take it easy. We are now again merely Vitale, Horowitz, Riordan and Schrecter albeit with a different Schrecter. Would you feel capable of taking over Eric's total case load, along with his associates and juniors? We feel you would be. The other partners would be taking over the rest of the work.'" (Part 2)


• Tigresses of Summer (reposted), by taishigi (COMPLETE!): "'Oh, come on,' Jane pleaded, in the tone of voice that always worked on Trent, but which was usually far less effective on Daria. 'Instead of our normal drive-in attire, you want us to wear our moccasins or running shoes and cut-offs.' 'Yes.' 'And a halter top, which means no bra.' 'Yes!' 'Don't you think that would encourage the guys to explore, perhaps under the halter tops?' 'YES!'" (Part 6)

First Ladies and Road Trips

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was born on this day in 1929. A somewhat minor reference to her was made in canon, when Jane refers to Quinn in her scarf-and-sunglasses disguise as "Quinnie O." This alluded to "Jackie O's" frequent mode of dress after her marriage to Aristotle Onassis.

TAG has pointed out before how the outfit Stacy is wearing in her alter ego is the same one the former First Lady was wearing when John F. Kennedy was assassinated, which is...odd.

Today is also the day that the episode "Speedtrapped" first aired in 1999. The Spiral did some time in the joint as "criminales," Quinn revealed her hidden talent at driving, and Daria developed a taste for country music. I'm always amused by that fake bump right after Daria suspects Travis of stealing their money, but then again I'm usually easily amused anyway.

Fandom News!

• Deref has posted stories and photos from his visit to Canada.


• Fans are discussing recent news related to NFL Football.


• A new general-purpose science story thread, Science: It works, has been started in the General Forum.


• LadieT shared a movie her niece and her niece's cousin made in film class.


• Arena del Sur has a question about Lawndale High's study hall.


• Discuss the comic book storyline Captain Britain and MI-13 in the thread.


• The Angst Guy started a new thread for plot bunnies.


• RX-87 posted a new Iron Chef: Name that Backgrounder!


• The Angst Guy has thrown down The Penny Lane Challenge in The Easel.

Better Late Than Never

Hi, there. Running late, I know. A regular post is coming later.

Yesterday was the 11th anniversary of the premiere of "Speedtrapped" on MTV. Daria got to demonstrate her homicidal tendencies, Quinn proved she knew how to drive but was otherwise mega-stupid, and Jane got to teach someone about Jasper Johns.

Moar on the way.

Birthdays Everywhere!

An interesting and historic day this is. We today celebrate the birthdays and birthday anniversaries of:

• pioneer aviator Amelia Earhart (Quinn at left)
• Congressman and feminist Bella Abzug (Daria at right... anyone remember the ERA?)
• South American freedom-fighter Simón Bolívar
• writer Zelda Fitzgerald (mentioned by Daria in "Depth Takes a Holiday")
• fantasy writer Lord Dunsany, who has had an immense impact on fantasy writing and writers to the present day
  
• Warner Brothers cartoon icon Marvin the Martian
• and Cape Canaveral, the USA's most important spaceport.

TV Guide did a thumbnail synopsis of "Speedtrapped" 11 years ago today, too.

More soon. Stay tooned.

PPMB

• Daria/Dorian 5: Mountain of Truth, by LadieT (Part 4): "What's wrong?" Jane asked. "We need to get moving and fast if we want to get to camp before the weather gets bad." Ms. Li turned to Dorian. "Don't worry, we'll reach base camp soon as long as there are no more surprises." That was when Dorian felt the first few flakes of snow fall on his face.

The Pen Is Mightier Than the Sword, Except in a Sword Fight

Also on this day, 67 years ago, Hungarian inventor László József Bíró filed a patent for the ballpoint pen in Argentina. He had actually invented it a few years before, but this time he and his chemist brother founded a company to produce ballpoint pens, which proved to be wildly successful. In many counties today, the ballpoint pen is known as a biro or birome, after its inventor. The pen that Jane used in "Speedtrapped" to draw a flag on a fellow inmate's arm is depicted above. (It came from an old MTV website.) MTV used the drawing as a reference for artists who were creating the episode.

More fanfiction appeared today. A few stories posted on FF.net have already appeared on PPMB, so the links to those were placed with the most recent mention of the same stories in this blog. Lots to read, so enjoy and stay tooned!

FF.net

• Brittany Wants Daria, by a440 (Parts 3 and 4): Coming home, Daria checked her email and found one that took her by surprise. It read, "You have been cordially invited to eat with me at Joe T. Garcia's in Fort Worth, Texas, as my way of saying thanks for everything and as a gesture of goodwill, along with the fact I got bored, that is, and got two round-trip plane tickets to Fort Worth—if it's OK with your parents, that is. Love, Brittany Celine Taylor." That threw Daria for a loop. Her hypothesis on Brittany having a crush on her was right.
• Cross Over Madness, by Agirl2Nerdy (Part 1): "Drowning a cat?" Jesse asked. "Yeah. At first it's all nice and purring and nice, then when it gets wet it starts screeching." "Ohhh." Meanwhile... "Good news everyone!" the ancient professor cried as he emerged in the meeting room, just as Fry and Bender were in the midst of a whale impersonation contest. (Daria/Futurama)
• The InDark, by MedianCat (Parts 7 to 10): "Move some furniture," Daria said. "Why?" "To block the door. We're on the third floor: at least 25 feet off of the ground. The Bringers can't fly, but they and their boss out there are perfectly capable of battering down a door. Yes, that would mean other people, my aunt's neighbors, would hear what was going on, but it's not going to do us any good if the police arrive five minutes after the Bringers and Tommy Sherman have slaughtered us and fled the area." (Daria/Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
  
• Perfect, by age4age4 (Part 1): "So, what brings you here? Last I heard you were in Connecticut trying to become a doctor or something." "I was," Mack replied while ringing up Jane's purchases. "But then I found out after my first year at Vance that my heart wasn't really into it so I decided to focus my energy on something I really wanted to do: computer programming." Knowing that Raft was known for its computer programming program caused Jane to put two and two together. "That's cool, but it must suck for Jodie now the two of you are even farther away from each other." Mack shrugged a little. "Not really. We decided to take a break during Christmas vacation last year, but we still talk every other day. No big deal." Jane couldn't believe for one second that the two high-school sweethearts breaking up was no big deal to Mack. It was a huge deal.
  

PPMB

• Bringing Up Baby Lane, by GlitterShrooms (Part 1): “Hello,” said Penny’s recording. “To whichever one of my family members currently resides in Casa Lane, I have exciting news. As the loner in a family of loners and failed relationships, I have in the last few months finally united with what you could call my soul mate.” “Whoa!” interrupted both Jane and Trent. "And if you’re listening Mom, or Dad, you don’t have to worry about our money situation. Fernando’s father is a multi-billionaire involved with some of Mexico and the world’s most powerful corporations. We were even hoping to buy Casa Lane. Fernando always wanted a large family.” “What the Hell!?!” screamed Jane.
• Judith Strikes! Opening Gambit, by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "We know you're hiding there!" A presumed squad leader called out. "If you surrender now, we'll simply wipe your memory and you can go home. No harm, no foul!" Judith smirked under the hood of her cloak, and reached into it's folds. She withdrew a futuristic looking grenade, and thumbed a button on its surface. "But I LIKE harm!" she called out, "Especially when it's sanctimonious reality cops like you getting it!"
  
• Legion of Lawndale Heroes Mini: Benefactor and Inventor, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): If there was one thing that Andrew Landon hated, it was being at someone’s beck and call. He had hoped to be the boss of Lawndale, but was now realizing that there was a “servant” in “public servant.” Dynell and Landon walked to the green. “So how is life,” asked Dynell, “in the mayoral business?” “Rotten,” said Landon. “There’s no way I can get anything done. Everywhere I turn my hands have been tied by someone.”
• Unnamed story (Flinging Fourth the New Ideas Thread), by Ranger Thorne (Part 1): “Don’t worry about it,” Jane said with a wave of her hand. “I won’t tell anyone Daria has an ugly sister.” “Hey!” Quinn scowled at her, put her hands on her hips, then stated, “Daria and I look exactly alike, so how could I be the ugly one?” (Daria/Sky High)
• Unnamed story, by Teeki (Part 3): Quinn dipped a tortilla chip in guacamole. "We'll find the right coat! I just want something that is soft, the right color pink, and has that fur around the hood." Daria, who had been concentrating on her burrito, looked up. "We saw at least three coats just like that." She glared at her sister. Quinn took a bite of rice and spoke with her mouth full. "But Daria! Those coats had fake fur. I'm looking for real fur, so I'll look just like a bunny!"
  

Stacy as Jackie... Oh!

Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was born 80 years ago today. She was the First Lady when JFK was president (1961 to 1963). Stacy Rowe (at left) models a close duplicate of Jackie's then-famous pink outfit, holding a rose bush for planting.

There's only one teensie little problem, which is that Jackie Kennedy was wearing that famous pink outfit when her husband was assassinated as he sat by her side on November 22, 1963, in Dallas, Texas. When the Kennedys' plane landed at Love Field in Dallas earlier that day, Mrs. Kennedy was given a large bouquet of roses (see picture at right).

In other words, Stacy's alter ego is reallllllly creepy.

Oh, well.

Ten years ago today, "Speedtrapped" premiered. I've already gone on and on about Daria's murder attempt during that trip, so no more will be said about it here. If anyone is up to it, the DariaWiki page on this episode could use some work.

Good news: today is also National Milk Chocolate Day the world over. I think you know what to do next.

TGIF, Marvin the Martian, etc.

Ten years ago, TV Guide ran a short description of a then-upcoming episode, "Speedtrapped."

And that's the big news for today. Okay, I'm kidding. Today is the 226th anniversary of the birth of liberator Simón Bolívar, making it Simón Bolívar Day in some places. It is also the 109th anniversary of the birth of writer Zelda Fitzgerald, wife of writer F. Scott Fitzgerald. Daria makes a reference to Zelda Fitzgerald in "Depth Takes a Holiday," the link being the fact that Ms. Fitzgerald was diagnosed with schizophrenia and died in a fire in a mental hospital, and Daria thinks she, too, is going crazy, just because personified holidays are popping out of a Chinese restaurant and forming a rock band with Trent Lane.

And it's the 89th anniversary of the birth of women's rights advocate Bella Abzug (whom Daria is dressed like in the alter ego at right, with some padding); the 61st birthday of Marvin the Martian; and the 59th year that Cape Cavaveral, Florida, has been in the business of launching space rockets. (The last link shows the first rocket launched from the Cape.) Amelia Earhart was also born today, but we've already talked about her and the Quinn alter ego.

Moar l8r after dinner, or something. Or, better yet, tomorrow.

'Cuse Me, While I Kiss the Sky

Master guitarist, singer, and songwriter Jimi Hendrix was born 66 years ago today. Jodie Landon at left does her impersonation of him when he set his guitar on fire during a concert in London on March 31, 1967, and became immortal. We can be thankful for the music he gave us. He was The Man.

The alter ego of Jodie first appeared at the end of the episode "Antisocial Climbers."

Stan, one of the prisoners in "Speedtrapped," claimed to have known Hendrix. Hendrix could play guitar with his teeth, and Stan said he once drove Jimi to the dentist. Trent himself said of Hendrix: click here. In fanfic, several very familiar characters nearly met Hendrix at Woodstock '69.

Peace, y'all. Oh, but before I go:

PPMB

• Dancing with the Devil by the Pale Moonlight, by Lorenzo Sauchelli (teaser): No man knows till he has suffered from the night how sweet and dear to his heart and eye the morning can be. —Jonathan Harker.
• Shadow of a Cynic, by Ranger Thorne (continued): Daria goes on a run in the night and meets a mysterious stranger. (Chapter 6 is completed, more to come!)
• Southern Thanksgiving, by Legendeld (COMPLETE!): “Hi Mom, Dad.” She waved at the camera. Helen Morgendorffer waved back. “Happy Thanksgiving Quinn, where’s Danielle?”
• Thanksgiving Lesson, by Legendeld (COMPLETE!): This would be so cool, zombies overrunning the whole planet. She thought then a second more practical thought loomed. Then I’ll starve. Without school, I’d be in real trouble.
• Welcome Back, Daria, by Napalm Kracken (Part 2): It's girls' basketball night, and the old gang is still around. (Helen is dating WHO?)
  

Speed Kills

Nine years ago today, "Speedtrapped" first appeared on MTV. We've already addressed Daria's murderous impulses. What else is there to cover?

I'll add more later. What do you think was controversial about this episode, aside from the desert and Daria trying to kill someone?

Jasper Johns and the Flag Tattoo That Was the Wrong Color

Acclaimed artist Jasper Johns was born 78 years ago today. Devoted Daria fans might remember his name cropping up in "Speedtrapped," in the scene in which Jane is inking a flag "tattoo" on fellow inmate Sally. A police officer objects to the tattoo because the flag is "all the wrong colors." "It's an homage to Jasper Johns, an important late-twentieth century artist," Jane replies. "Besides, I don't have red."

If there was no red, then it is likely that the flag drawn on Sally's arm looked like the image at left: Jasper Johns' "Moratorium," created in 1969. The dot in the middle of the picture is there on purpose. If you stare at it for about half a minute, then look away at a white background, you will see an afterimage showing the American flag with its correct colors. Johns was fond of recreating the American flag, but usually he painted it as it actually appears, red, white and blue. "Moratorium" was an exception, and for a reason.

It's interesting that "Moratorium" appears on Daria, even obliquely, as it was controversial when it came out, produced by Johns for a poster for an October 1969 peace rally calling for a moratorium on the war in Vietnam. The painted flag's colors are completely the opposite of the real flag's colors, reflecting the view that America's involvement in Vietnam War was not what this country was all about. It's a strong political statement. Were the Daria writers aware of this? Was this a subtle part of the show's generally left-of-center politics? How much of this work's history is Jane supposed to be aware of? An interesting set of speculations.

It's also interesting that "Speedtrapped" shows nice cops who make Jane and Mystik Spiral work at a children's birthday party for their traffic sentence. The world of Fremont is a nice place. It's more the reflection of how we'd like America to be, and "Moratorium" is now a relic of another time. (Side note: Today is also Peace Officers Memorial Day in the U.S.)

Just some random thoughts on a small part of the show that kept catching my attention. Thanks for listening.

Meet Travis the Singing Cowboy

As long as we're talking about "Speedtrapped"...

Travis is your basic nice guy. He's handsome, clean cut, charismatic, cheerful, friendly, flirtatious, and funny. He tells amusing tales, plays classic country music on guitar, hitchhikes around, and doesn't curse or act mean. He claims he's going to a music audition.

What good would he be in fanfic? Well, it's possible that he:

1. Discovers he's someone's long-lost son and goes in search of his parent(s) (Jake Morgendorffer? Vincent Lane? Amy Barksdale? Angela Li? Mrs. Johanssen?).
2. Meets and starts dating a twenty- or thirty-something character from the series. (He could be gay and date Wind or Trent Lane and move into the Lane home. He could be straight and date Summer or Amy or Rita. He could be bi and date all of the above.)
3. Writes a song about Quinn that becomes a hit and causes Quinn such embarassment that she runs away from home.
4. Survives a world-spanning atomic war and meets Daria and Jane on the road in West Virginia, where they kill and eat him, not necessarily in that order.
5. Turns out to be a werewolf/ time-traveler/ wizard/ alien/ doppleganger/ robot/ clone/ DELPHI operative/ ex-boyfriend of Helen Morgendorffer/ ex-boyfriend of Kyle Armalin/ reincarnation of Travis the dead canary from "It Happened One Nut."
6. Tries to sue Daria for attempted murder and gets her convicted on Quinn's testimony, putting Daria in prison for 3-5 years, where she plots the ultimate revenge.
7. Is pleasantly delusional, with grandiose ideas that he is a famous country-music star, and wanders into Lawndale where he makes a major nuisance of himself.
8. Is actually a psychopathic murderer who puts up a nice facade when he needs to disguise himself and flee the police, but he's now looking for Daria. And maybe Quinn, too.
9. (REVISED TO BE MORE INTERESTING) Is a super-wealthy singer from Nashville with car-wreck-induced amnesia, who travels the country at random while his family searches for him, and Daria and/or Quinn recognize his picture and go looking for him.
10. Your turn. Go for it.

Daria's Killer Impulse

We all do impulsive things that we shouldn't: buying a chocolate bar while on a diet, speeding up when the light ahead turns yellow, forwarding chain letters, voting Republican in November 2000. What few of us ever do on impulse is try to kill someone, which Daria did in "Speedtrapped." Oh, sure, you can say she was just kidding around when she aimed her father's car at cute cowboy Travis by the side of the road, she wasn't really going to hit him, no harm done. Let's review the evidence. What exactly happened at the end of that episode?

We'll set the scene. The countryside is flat except for telephone poles and scrubby grass and rocks. Newly licensed Daria is driving, Quinn is riding shotgun in her cowgirl outfit, their mission to help Jane and Mystik Spiral has been accomplished. Daria, however, is still steamed over cute cowboy Travis taking Jane's $100, even if it was moron sister Quinn who willingly gave him the money for a bus ticket and a new gingham outfit. As they start the hours-long drive home, the siblings chat. The following dialog is from the episode transcript on Outpost Daria, with some tweaking based on my repeated views of the scene.

• Daria: [calm] That was nice what you said, that we make a good team.
• Quinn: [breezy] I guess sometimes being timid works just as well as being confident.
• Daria: [irked tone] I'm not timid.
• Quinn: [suddenly excited; leans out of car window, points, and cries out] Oh my gosh, look! It's Travis! [waves at Travis, who is standing with his suitcase on the two-lane highway, about 2-3 feet from the shoulder]
• Daria: [low voice] Seriously, do you really think I'm timid?
• Quinn: [still leaning out window, normal voice] Yes, but it doesn't matter. [shouts and waves at Travis in excitement] It's Travis!
• Daria: [in a flat, decisive tone, speaking as if to herself] I'm not timid. [Daria's right foot pushes gas pedal almost to the floor, engine revs up as car accelerates]
• Quinn: [back in her seat, looking anxiously at Daria] What are you doing? [looks at road ahead, eyes grow huge] Daria? [shrieks] Daria! [Travis sees car approaching and runs from highway; Quinn screams as car runs over Travis's suitcase; suitcase is smashed open and contents are scattered everywhere; Travis steps back on highway and looks at departing car with stunned expression]
• Daria: [calm, watching road ahead as Quinn looks out rear window] Okay . . . now do you think I'm timid?
• Quinn: [turns around, nervous look and tone] Um, no. Why don't we just put on some music and relax?
• Daria: [flat voice] I'll pick the music.
• Quinn: [very agreeable] Fair enough.
  

Well, there it is!

In the scene, Travis is clearly shown standing on the highway blacktop well into the lane itself. His suitcase is behind him but closer to the shoulder than he is. Daria would not have to do anything but stay in her lane to hit Travis or his suitcase. When the suitcase was struck, the car was as close to the right shoulder as it could get without running off the road. The elapsed time between the moment Travis lept from the road to the moment Daria hit his suitcase is about one second.

You can assume that Daria assumed Travis would get the hint and jump from the highway so she could hit only his suitcase. Or, you can assume she was pissed as hell and didn't care if she hit the suitcase, Travis, or both. In any event, Daria was one second from hitting Travis, and she made no effort to swerve and avoid him.

This is arguably the dumbest thing Daria ever did. It is also arguably the most evil thing she ever did, to almost kill a human being just to prove a point to her sister. Travis was at worst a moocher and didn't mind sweet-talking teenage girls out of some cash. (He didn't use the money for a bus ticket, obviously.) He didn't appear to be armed, drunk, violent, abusive, sexually aggressive, or anything other than a cheerful, good-natured, roguish hitchhiker with a guitar. He was certainly nicer than the pedophiles who appeared in "I Don't," "Lucky Strike," and The Daria Database. Daria did nothing at all to the minister who hit on Quinn at Erin's wedding. Maybe the thought that the lost money had belonged to Jane, her best and only friend, ramped up her rage.

What if Travis had been just a second too slow, was too surprised to move, or didn't believe she would really try to hit him?

The speed limit on two-lane country roads around the Chesapeake Bay area is 55 miles per hour. Daria accelerated before hitting the suitcase, so she could have been going 65-70 or faster. A sedan of the type Daria was driving weighs over 3,000 lbs., a ton and a half.

No point in doing the math for the kinetic energy that represents. It's blammo, baby. I can't believe the suitcase didn't fly a hundred feet or the car didn't flip over after running over a foot-thick obstacle at high speed, but that's cartoon physics for you. (LATE ADD: If Travis's suitcase was made of cardboard, which some cheap ones are, and he didn't have much clothing in it, then I can see the car smashing and flattening it without much difficulty.)

What does this little episode say about Our Heroine? Your turn to chime in. The Comments box is open.