Get! Burger!

Amelia is so happy to be celebrating Locate An Old Friend Day, but Daria definitely doesn't feel that the feeling is mutual. I suspect she'll be celebrating Hide From an Old Friend Day before the end of the day.

Let's hope Skip has fired up the grill for National Cheeseburger Day, although I think we can all live without his highly-detailed system. I recommend eating the burger, but you can always follow Daria's lead by putting it into your boots to enjoy the squishy feeling.

Finally, on this day in 1999 Kara Wild published the essay "Amy: Savior or Chimera?" It's an interesting take on Daria's favorite aunt that was written mid-series, so enjoy a glimpse into what fandom speculation was like before the end of the show.

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 41): "The mighty black wolves howled to a gray sky as the lady of green eyes rode so fast through Sallakovia, all the dangers of the forest and the mountains shook in fear of her presence alone, she would arrive back home soon enough and the portraits and letter were indeed safe and sound deep in a pocket of her cloak."

Don't Take Her Out of the Packaging!

Quinn's looking even more artificial than usual because it's Doll Day and plastic is fantastic. Makes you wonder if this would have been Dr. Shar's end result if Quinn had come up with the money for the surgery.

Honestly, you're probably better off taking your chances with arsenic than trusting Dr. Shar, so celebrating Name Your Poison Day is also an option. Just name the poison, though...don't consume it. Unless you're Kevin Thompson, in which case enjoy that nutty butter and banana sandwich!

You definitely don't want to poison your friends, especially not on Best Friends Day. Although Jane was probably tempted after The Kiss....

Fandom News!

• Discuss the God Save the Esteem series.

"Burger! Get! Get burger!"

Looks like Daria is all set for National Cheeseburger Day, but I'll leave it to you to guess whether she's going to eat it or stick it in her boots for that squishy feeling she loves so much. Let's just spare a moment of thought to all those burgers on Skip's grill that landed at Normandy.

Speaking of Camp Grizzly, with today being Locate An Old Friend Day let's hope Daria looks up Amelia and gets together to talk about old times. Of course, considering Amelia's iffy memory, I'm not sure which old times will be discussed.

Honestly, I think Daria would probably rather celebrate National Report Kickback Fraud Day by turning in Ms. Li for any of her numerous financial crimes. I still can't believe that woman kept getting away with it!

Fandom News!

• Share your thoughts on the avocado toast guy and other useless advice from greedy people.


• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch polls: Tyrannical TV Principal Showdown, Abbott and Costello vs. Laurel and Hardy, and Sgt. Snorkel vs. Sgt. Carter.

Best Friends For Life...or Death

Awww, look how cute Daria and Jane are for National Best Friends Day! Just a couple of carefree kids enjoying each other's company and standing together against the rest of the world. Remember, though: this was in the pre-Tom days.

For the post-Tom days, Name Your Poison Day might be more appropriate. Either in the sense of choosing the lesser of two evils (which Daria did not) or in the literal sense of selecting a good concoction with which to kill your enemies (which Jane did not...yet).

Fanfic Update!

• J Johnson, by PenaltyPingo (part 1): "You're Jane Johnson. Your mom is, uh, different but she's just unique!"


• There She Goes, by Adelina (part 1): "A middle-aged woman, perhaps in her late 40s, was merging onto Highway 5 on her way back home from the airport when another car cut her off. 'Oh, damnit!' she yelled. She was pissed off, but she'd calm down soon. For now."

A Red Letter Day in Daria History!

Looks like Daria and Jane are just about to observe National New Friends Day, which is an especially remarkable event for Daria. It might be the first and only time in her life that she'll celebrate this particular holiday. That may sound sad, but honestly it's probably what she'd prefer.

This is also Evaluate Your Life Day, the day that Jake says you should "walk away. You change your name, move to another state, get some ID. It's not too late to start over, Daria, it's not too late! You're still a young man! You don't have to live with your mistakes! Get out while you can!" I'm sure that's a normal reaction, right?

Fanfic Update!

• Burned Out, by Wrabbit7 (part 27): "As they drove along the nearly abandoned highway leading out of Lawndale, Jennifer patted her legs in time and sang along with the song on the radio."


• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 28): "Far from the stars and the ethereal realms, so far from the monsters and green fire there was a happy place called Lawndale, where the forest was safe and the wolves did not speak, just a sweet and peaceful town that most people there loved to call home."


• Illness of the Cynic Chick, by cfardellbrenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Brittany approached Daria’s hospital room. (She wasn’t sure what to make of the orderly’s references to ‘Mrs. Sullivan’.)"


• Reasons To Call Her, by radiofox (COMPLETE!): "Eric walked to the nearest phone booth, payed and dialed Helen's phone number. He tried calling his brothers but they didn't answer. He was stuck calling his employee to pick him up after a car crash."

Trent Will Celebrate If/When He Wakes Up

I see Jake is enjoying himself for National Guitar Day, and I really hope he plays better than he cooks. Come to think of it, a good death metal song might be a good way to deal with some of his anger issues. A better catharsis than ranting, anyway.

This is also Make a Friend Day, but notice that it says a friend. Don't go crazy or anything, okay?

Fandom News!

• The winners of the Daria Fanworks Awards have been announced!


• RIP, Anne Bernstein.


• Discuss the museum security guard who defaced priceless artwork.

Those Squirrels Won't See It Coming

Here we see Jake preparing to meet Corporal Ellenbogen at the Buxton Ridge reunion, ready to make birthday boy Arnold Schwarzenegger proud. I could see Jake as an Arnold fan, actually. It's not such a big leap from John Wayne to Arnold Schwarzenegger when you really think about it.

Today is also International Day of Friendship, so hopefully Daria and Jane will enjoy each other's company and not think about certain past events better left unmentioned. The last thing we want is for Jane to borrow one of Jake's guns.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Deathmatch poll between Revy of Black Lagoon and Bo of Nite Owls.


• R.I.P., Dusty Hill.

I Don't Think These Two Holidays Mix Well

Daria and Jane are cheerfully celebrating Best Friends Day, and while singing is optional you should probably check in with your best friend, too. If you have one, that is. Inanimate objects like televisions and books count.

Of course, these two only look so happy together because this was before The Tom Thing. Later, they might be more likely to celebrate Name Your Poison Day instead. I named mine Bob.

Fandom News!

• See some pizzas even Daria would reject.


• Talk about the most over-the-top moments in movie history.


• R.I.P. Clarence Williams III.

Happy National Women's Frenemy Day!

Helen and Linda are catching up for National Women's Friendship Day, and by "catching up" I mean "competing until they both want to kill each other." It's a good thing they're talking over the phone rather than in person, and not just because of the pandemic!

Today is also National Linguine Day, and Jake's going to whip up a batch of his best pasta. It's probably Trent's favorite dish, as long as it hasn't oxidized.

Fanfic Update!

• The Tell-Tale Art, by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "Jane bowed before some clients, but not this one, not Haldskyr Bear-grip. It's not that she didn't respect him—but Nords didn't like bowing. Better for her to stand and watch as Haldskyr studied the three-quarters portrait she'd spent the last month working on for him."

Ride the Roller Coaster of Friendship

Let's all relive the moment when Daria met her soon-to-be best friend in honor of National Friendship Day! Awww, what a sweet holiday and a very heartwarming moment.

Now...let's remember that today is also the anniversary of the episode "Dye! Dye! My Darling" in 2000. Daria takes that friendship and just sends it right through the shredder. Not so sweet, and not so heartwarming.

Fortunately for Daria, today is also International Forgiveness Day. Unfortunately, Jane doesn't go in for those manufactured holidays. Oops. This has been a post full of ups and downs, hasn't it?

Fanfic Update!

• Backseat for No One, by EntrancedCat (part 10): "As Brittany drove away from Schloss Morgendorffer, Quinn turned around in the Mustang's bucket seat to watch her sister watching them drive off."


• Bearing the Summer, by Lady Evil (part 1): "'Dana! Hurry up with that coffee!' 'It’s brewing now, sir.' Daria never cared to learn the names of her interchangeable co-workers so she just called all of them sir. It wasn’t like they bothered to learn her name either."


• Daria: In Another World?, by starwater09 (part 8): "A lot had changed over the past few months for Kevin in ways he'd never thought possible in the past."

That's Not How Old Money Gets Old

Tom is feeling generous for Free Money Day, and I'll take him up on it even if you won't. It's not like he's going to run out anytime soon, after all.

Meanwhile, Helen and Linda, Quinn and Sandi, and Jane and Daria are probably celebrating National Women's Friendship Day. Well, Jane and Daria are, anyway. The others are probably just being bitchy and stabbing each other in the back at every opportunity.

Fandom News!

• BloodyWilliam has produced a new Daria character alter ego!


• Scientists have figured out the question to life, the universe, and everything.


• Scissors MacGillicutty is looking for someone to take over as owner of the PPMB.


• Discuss the case of the missing golden toilet.

Okay, Upchuck, Now Put Some Damn Pants On!

Upchuck is about the last person any of us wants to see celebrating National Underwear Day, but there he is. On the bright side, at least he is wearing underwear. It's all in the minor blessings, really.

On a less disturbing note, today is both Friendship Day and International Forgiveness Day, which are both appropriate to Daria and Jane's relationship.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 45): "Ms. Crowe and Miss Purcell contacted Lillian a week after their first visit. Lillian was pleased that Ms. Crowe had learned enough about No-Maj customs to call ahead by telephone instead of simply apparating onto her doorstep unannounced."


• InValidaTed (The Ted Zone), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'So what was that all about with Mr. O'Neill? Who was on the phone?' Ted turned from his locker to see Daria talking to her friend across the hall."


• Of Microwaves and Electric Keyboards, by Souless Familliar (part 7): "Daria started moving towards the closet, where her keyboard resided, dainty and slender hands reaching towards the handle, pulling it open to reveal the keyboard, which Jane figured had seen a lot of use as the ivory keys had faded into a slightly dull colour."


• On The Road, by elainefr (part 48): "'We need to talk.' Damn, this can't be good. Jesse muted the television and looked up at Valerie's tall form."


• Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 19): "On seeing his adoptive daughter entering the kitchen for breakfast wearing her cheerleading uniform, Jake called out, 'Mornin' kiddo! I didn't know there was a game today?' 'No, Apa, There isn't.'"


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen and Brother Grimace (parts 142 and 143): "The HARDLY WORKING was sailing along in the Gulf of Mexico, a beautiful sixty foot fiberglass yacht. The passengers had been invited and were for the most part trying to enjoy themselves, although most felt as if they had been dragged there." (Part 143)

I'll Be--Gahhh!

Jake's either a time-traveler from the future bent on destroying all squirrels or he's got a cool new cosplay for Arnold Schwarzenegger's birthday today. Then again, there's no reason it can't be both.

Meanwhile, Daria and Jane are probably celebrating International Day of Friendship by...eating pizza and watching Sick, Sad World, I imagine. It's not like either of them is into arbitrary holidays, after all.

Fandom News!

• Discuss Germany's beer bottle crisis.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior polls between Matt Burch from Operation Repo and Chumlee from Pawn Stars, Frankenstein's Monster and Leatherface, and Mr. Slate and Mr. Spacely.


• Answer Dervish's question about entertainment in the Trek-verse.

It Goes Well With Nutty Butter and Banana Sandwiches

I've got the poison for Name Your Poison Day, and I think I'll name it...Bob. This particular poison is about to be renamed Kevin Thompson's lunch, at least in Daria's "Murder, She Snored" dream sequence, which is among the strangest sentences I've ever written.

In a different (I hope) theme, today is also Best Friends Day! I'm sure there were moments in their friendship (cough-thekiss-cough) that Jane wanted to poison Daria, but fortunately for us all she decided against it.

Fandom News!

• Share your thoughts about Miss America getting rid of the swimsuit competition.


• Give suggestions for baby names.


• Join in the "Neolithic Y-Chromosome Bottleneck" discussion.


• Discuss recent revelations about the Marshmallow Test.


• Offer ideas about the possible fate of Tommy Sherman.


• Talk about the upcoming movie, How to Train Your Dragon 3.

Friends, Frenemies...Same Difference?

Helen just gave Linda a call to wish her a happy National Women's Friendship Day, and I'm sure she's already regretting it. Still, as far as I can tell, Linda is the closest thing Helen has to a friend. I mean, aside from her job.

Today is also Wife Appreciation Day, so after that stressful phone call I hope Jake is standing by with a soothing massage to help Helen relax. Or maybe a drink or two...or five. Depends on just how long the phone call lasts.

Fanfic Update!

• Grab-ass and Gutter Talk, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Randy Novvak brushed back his sandy-blond hair, looked across the packed newsroom (and surprisingly so, considering the size of the area) of Global Gossip Today - and hoisted a smile to his face that would make dried milk curdle." (Part 2)


• Second Chances, by Lady Evil (part 8): "Danny stormed away from the group to sit on a bench shaded by the cedars the hospital had been named for. How could he have been so stupid? How could he not have seen that a girl like Quinn would only talk to him if she wanted something?"


• Shameless Self Insert Into Daria, by James the Lesser (part 2): "Daria is careful around Adrian when she hangs out with him and Jane. She knows she should tell him the truth about the gay rumor. The rumor disappeared quickly but his reaction is still etched in her mind."


• Stargate Delicately Balanced Daria, by Meester_Lee (part 7): "'Hey, Daria,' said Jackie. 'I was wondering if you'd show up.' Daria wasn't sure what sort of crowd she'd been expecting before she sat down next to Jackie."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 45 and 46): "'Charles, no, I don't think this is covering old territory,' Daria said. 'I'm chafing under the limitations that we're being put under. I'm chafing over the limitations that I'm putting on myself. Yes, "this is an open would and I'm not letting it heal". But I think that the whole thing is leaving a sour taste in my mouth. I just can't let it go?'" (Part 46)


• Where Did Quinn Go?, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "With a saucer with a pair of strawberry cheesecake muffins in hand, Raeleigh York escorted Quinn into the VIP conference room of the Continental Regency Denver." (Part 4)

But Don't Poison Your Best Friend!

Happy Name Your Poison Day, everyone! Whether you're sprinkling cyanide into Kevin's nutty-butter and banana sandwich or splitting a bottle of drain cleaner with Luhrman, just be sure you know the name of the poison you're ingesting. The paramedics will want to know, after all.

This is also National Best Friends Day, which is perfect for Daria and Jane. Except when Daria's pissed at Jane for having a boyfriend. Or when Jane's pissed at Daria for stealing her boyfriend. Or--okay, so it was a kind of rocky friendship at times, but it seemed to work out all right in the end!

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (part 6): "For some reason or other, Mrs. Crush was forced to lighten up on her students. Jessia, Linda, Gail, and Farrah wanted to believe that it was because it was because Mrs. Crowe had convinced her to ease up on her students."


• Dystopia, by mailorderannie (part 9): "Mack, Daria, and Jane were all bent down, sifting through the rubble that had once been the Guardian's Lawndale offices. 'Tell me why we're getting all dusty and disturbing your co-worker's final resting place, again?'"


• What If The Storm Killed Them?, by The Madi Hatter (part 5): "A year and a half ago in a small Italian town. Jane is setting up her table at an art fair as she see's a tall, slender man looking her way. 'Oh no...' She thought as the man started to walk towards her booth."

Try Not to Spill Milk on Your Friends, Either

Jake clearly gets the point of Don't Cry over Spilled Milk Day, as he doesn't seem about to spill any of the stuff at all this time. I do hope that he also remembers that one shouldn't clean up spilled milk with paper towels near open flames, either.

Today is also Make a Friend Day, so if you get stuck in any self-esteem classes then be sure to take note of any snarky artists in the room. You never know what might happen.

Fandom News!

• Don't forget to vote for the 2015 Daria Fanworks Awards!


• What do you think of using Myers Briggs and other pop personality tests to develop story characters?


• Share your thoughts on this Barbie doll modified to look like Jane.

Just as Long as They Set a Good Example for Their Daughters

Helen and Linda are having a friendly little chat because it's National Women's Friendship Day, which means that the conversation won't end in passive-aggressive sniping and white-hot fury concealed by a thin veneer of civility. Wow, I almost got through that with a straight face. Seriously, they're probably ready to kill each other by now.

Fandom News!

• Check out the latest Lessons From Lawndale update, courtesy of cfardell_Brenorenz29.


• Space fanatics rejoice! The space probe Voyager 1 has left the solar system...ish.


• Talk about J. K. Rowling's latest project in a new thread.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: LSauchelli's Mack is (falsely) accused of rape and Shiva's Lawndale High's Corruption Exposed! But not by D&J.

The True Depths of Friendship...

Someone once said 'Friends help you move furniture. Real friends help you move bodies'.

Well, as this photo reminds us, Jane is a true friend. She let Quinn spend the night at Casa Lane because the copper-top was afraid to stay alone at home.

If you think of it - this is one of the biggest indicators of just how strong the friendship is between Daria and Jane. Not because Jane let her stay there (because Daria might have been annoyed otherwise - or not; after all, this was Season Two), but because Quinn saw Jane's house as a place of safety.

Personally - I'm actually surprised that Quinn knew where it was. Jane's home, that is.

Back on track. There's the notion that Quinn was actually scared (she actually begged to be allowed to stay) - and one must wonder if she considered before going over that asking to stay with the Lanes was certain fodder for Daria to tease her later... and she decided that it would be worth it. One also wonders if Quinn knew that, because she really was scared, that they'd probably go easy on her - especially with what Sandi and Tiffany did - and what Linda allowed to happen. (If I were Helen, I'd put my lawyer foot up Linda Griffin's officious ass for allowing her daughter to put her so-called 'friend' out on the street because of petty jealousy - and BTW, have Quinn and Sandi ever used that term to describe one another? In any regard, I can assure you that if I were Helen, I would have made someone cry after I got back.

If you think on that part of 'Gifted' - that would make an interesting fanfic. Quinn is ejected from the Griffin and Blum-Deckler homes because of pettiness (and in Linda Griffin's case, inattentiveness - ah, Linda, did it never occur to you that you were legally responsible for Quinn's safety?) and ran from the Rowe House (insert rim shot here) after the creepy, 'Stacy, dear, have you taken your Thorazine and seltzer cocktail yet?' behaviors showcased there. She has no other place to go except home, so she returns to Schloss Morgendorffer...

Let your imagination run wild as to what happens next. Oh, the possibilities for angst abound. Helen especially; she all but forced Daria to take a trip she didn't want to and sent Quinn over to Linda's house; Linda, because she totally failed to watch over someone else's child - and in the process, showed just how hopelessly inadequate she was at raising her own. (An interesting sidebar would be Chris and Sam Griffin both ratting Sandi out with extreme prejudice as to why Quinn was forced out, and how Linda never even bothered to check on Quinn, call around and look for her, inform the police that the teenager she's taken responsibility for has disappeared...)

It's when you look at moments like this, that one truly appreciates the friendship that Daria and Jane have. It's so strong that it allows Jane to feel a sense of responsibility for a spoiled brat and more (after all, she offered to buy a keg - and even if it's crap beer, that's still sixty-eighty bucks, plus the deposit on the keg, that she's tossing away on a person who won't even recognize her right to exist if they're walking down the same hall). Quinn annoyed Jane and more - you KNOW that Quinn found the best bed in the house and took it over, probably whined until Trent and Jane drove her home to get a nightgown and other things, and I can see her pouting until Jane fixed supper at Schloss Morgendorffer... and then, left the dishes for someone else to clean. And they didn't throw her into a ditch or just leave her to her own devices.

'Friends help you move furniture. Real friends help you move bodies.'

As I watched "Gifted" this weekend, with Quinn releasing copious amounts of verbal diarrhea into the air as Jane guided her towards home with one hand on her shoulder (and if there's ever been an image in Daria that should be commented upon at length or could launch a fleet of fanfic but hasn't, that should be it!), and Jane simply growled 'Take... her... now..." instead of leaping at Daria's throat for being the cause of it all, I thought to myself, 'Rarely are truer words spoken.'