Admittedly, It's Probably a Fake Tree Anyway

Daria's having a surprising amount of difficulty on Look for an Evergreen Day, especially considering all she has to do is turn around. On the bright side, she did find Cupid, a leprechaun, and the slowly dawning realization that she's losing her mind. Cheers!

Still, while she's going insane she might as well go all in and re-create the scene in the Beavis and Butt-head episode "It's a Miserable Life," in which she's singing Christmas carols, has a boyfriend, and is smiling! I know, I'm a little frightened, too. Just remember that it was an alternate reality and never really happened.

For those of you not in the holiday spirit, there's also the anniversary of the premiere of the movie Titanic on this day in 1997. I'd say that Mr. O'Neill and Ms. Barch could give that "standing on the bow of the ship" scene another shot, but there's a good chance the water is frozen. Better wait until there's a chance of one or both of them drowning!

Fandom News!

• dennis71 shares what he's been up to.


• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between Rick Sanchez and Simon Bar Sinister.

Fa La LA La La!

Daria's getting into the holiday spirit--very disturbingly, I should add--because on this day in 1995, the Beavis and Butt-head Christmas special "It's a Miserable Life" aired. The image on the right is from an alternate universe where Daria is happy, well-adjusted, and dating. She's become everything she ever hated! Destroy the heretic!

Ahem. Sorry about that.

Anyway, speaking of disasters, today is also the anniversary of the movie Titanic, which premiered on this day in 1997. Ms. Barch and Mr. O'Neill will probably re-create that iconic scene again, and if we're lucky they'll both get pushed into the water.

Fanfic Update!

• The Artist and The Fashionista, by Jabe Shepherd (part 2): "'Quinn, sweetie get up it's time for school' Helen said to her youngest that she turned her rooms light on."


• Erin the Side of Caution, by Kristen Bealer (parts 4 and 5): "Daria's prediction proved correct. Breakfast the following morning was eaten in uncomfortable silence if you ignored Quinn's prattle, which Daria generally did."Part 5


• Ho Ho Humbug (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "The sleeping arrangements at Gina's house are the boys and the dog in Chris's old room while Jim and Quinn sleep in Jim's old room. Sitting on the edge of the bed in her nightgown Quinn looks at the room." (Part 3)


• Not-So-Secret Santa, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Quinn looked up from her huge bowl of udon noodles (served in a spicy shrimp curry broth with salmon medallions, slivered red onions and bell peppers and a single, fat prawn) when Danielle Todds walked into her quarters, and plopped down onto one of the overstuffed chairs without saying 'hello'."


• On The Road, by elainefr (part 51): "'What are you doing man?' Trent's voice came in through the haze of fog filled sleep of Jesse's brain. To which Jesse rolled over and covered his head with the nearest pillow."


• Outlanders, by WellTemperedClavier (COMPLETE!): "Daria returned home to find her mother seated at the office, still poring over a stack of documents. Helen had spared no effort in ensuring that her base of operations befitted a legal advocate trained in the time-honored Imperial ways." (Part 3)


• PIGS!!!, by ST91 (part 1): "'Where is he? Where is he? 'Jodie kept wondering as she walked briskly through the halls, looking for Dario. She had immediately realized how serious was what she had said in the locker room."

This Is "Nacho" Usual Holiday

It's Beavis and Butt-head's favorite holiday, National Nachos Day! Daria's probably telling them to celebrate someplace else, or she might be trying to explain to them that it's traditional to celebrate by obtaining and eating nachos. Either way, I'm guessing it's a lost cause.

Fandom News!

• Join the discussion in the political or non-political threads about the mass shooting in Texas.


• Play the Rock, Paper, Scissors, Escalation Game.


• Create your own shared fictional universe with crossovers between various shows or films.


• Fans of the TV show can discuss Stranger Things.

It's a Strangely Disturbing Life

Daria's looking both retro and uncharacteristically cheerful here because this is a scene from the Beavis and Butt-head episode "It's a Miserable Life," which aired on this day in 1995. It showed an alternate reality Daria, who had a boyfriend and smiled and sang carols and made all of Daria fandom die a little inside.

Fanfic Update!

• Another Life, by Princess_Pasta (part 1): "For perhaps the millionth time, Daria Morgendorffer found herself standing outside of the doors to The Zon. It wasn't her usual scene, nothing about grunge clubs or music appealing to her, and yet she couldn't seem to break away."


• Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 44): "'You picked up a guy in a vintage stationers while Trent was helping my dad and Jeffy catch the squirrelly menace?' Daria clarified when she and Jane had reunited for pizza lunch and a break-down of their respective previous night."


• Daria (and other characters) on the Defiant Round Robin, by EntrancedCat (part 49): "'Left, left, hard and up you damn idiots,' John Yossarian was screaming to the bridge crew as the Defiant shook under another blast from the ship which had mysteriously materialized out of nothing ten kilometers in front."


• Daria: College Pains The Junior Year, by James the Lesser (part 1): "Daria is listening to Doug about the assignment she had given him. 'I found that all of them were connected to a new drug trial. Something that enhances a persons focus and removes their hunger.'"


• Daria Ravenclaw: No Country For Unpleasant Old Men, by Meester_Lee (part 3c): "Iago watched in shock as the Muggle gunman brandished his pistol and waved it at the crowd. This was as bad as one of the episodes he'd been through in North Africa."


• Daria Takes Charge, by dmsfanman (parts 4 and 5): "Daria stared out the window of the train. Outside was total and utter blackness. It was the blackest blackness she had ever seen. There was absolutely no light other than the lights inside the train car." (Part 5)


• Daria, the Radio serial, by Roentgen (parts 8 and 9): "(Sound of students milling about. Trays clank.) BRITTANY: Ugh! I hate it when the trays are wet when it's lunchtime. DARIA: 'That which does not kill us makes us stronger.'" (Part 9)


• The Life of the Mind, by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 3): "I suppose I should explain the cliffhanger, first and foremost. I've read books and watched TV shows where they do that—cut off the action at the last chapter or the end of the episode, leaving the audience to wallow in suspense for however long the gap in production or page numbers might be."


• Murder, She Etched, by Sacred Dust (part 2): "The bus rumbled down the highway, leaving Ashfield and the shadow of the mountains in the distance. But her daughter's memories, Amanda suspected, would not be so easily left behind."

Christmas Carols and Icebergs

Here we see Daria with her fantasy-sequence boyfriend from the Beavis and Butt-head Christmas Special "It's a Miserable Life," which aired on this day twenty years ago. You can tell this is an alternate universe because Daria is singing and smiling. I'm actually a little frightened by this.

It was also on this day in 1997 that the movie Titanic was released, so feel free to grab your significant other and recreate that scene like they did in "Just Add Water." You know which scene; the one where the boat crashes and chaos ensues.

Fanfic Update!

• Lawndale 2021, by Anguirus1955 (part 27): "Captain Murphy looked out the windows of the bridge while listening to Commander Li give a report. 'And then, I should add, both of their name tags were three centimeters to the left of their proper locations! Three centimeters!' 'Uh-huh,' Murphy said with a nod of his head, bored."


• Night Witches, by Panzerfaust 150 (part 12): "Daria awoke to an incessant droning that just would not go away, Jeez, what power tool is dad playing with now? She had a horrible dream she had been flying combat against the Russians, not home studying for 10th grade finals."

"You see, Daria, you really (would have) had a wonderful life!"

Here we see Daria spending some quality time with Martin, her alternate reality boyfriend from the Beavis and Butt-head episode "It's a Miserable Life." They're singing not only because this version of Daria is happy and well-adjusted, but also because today is Go Caroling Day. This reality's Daria also observes obscure holidays, you see.

Fandom News!

• Describe the other boards you've been on aside from Daria fandom.


• Tell everyone about your favorite Daria fanfics from Fanfiction.net and other sites.


• Discuss possible love interests for Mr. DeMartino.


• Two Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: Shiva's Daria the Communist and RLobinske's It belongs in a B movie.

Daria? Caroling? What?!

On this day in 1995, Daria appeared on the Beavis and Butt-head Christmas episode "It's a Miserable Life" as part of a fantasy sequence showing what life would be like without Butt-head. As you can see in the screen capture, Daria would be happy and well-adjusted. There could be no scarier outcome as far as I know.

Fanfic Update!

• Dylan, by J-D (part 15a): "'I suppose you're looking forward to having some fun on the field trip demonstrating the truth of that on some of our classmates.' 'Nah. That's not what I call creative. I've got a plan for giving us an excuse to ditch. Are you in?'"


• Everybody Needs a Hobby (Scenes no Daria fic should have: Write The Lightning), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Jane turned to her new friend Daria as the bad movie they were watching went to a commercial break. 'Say, Daria, do you have any hobbies?'"


• Glasses and Lipstick (chapter 2), by oni (part 4): "When Daria came into the restroom, she found Sandi leaning against the far wall. 'What the hell was that out there Sandi,' Daria asked with the same frown on her face. 'Quinn was just concerned.'"


• I'm Dreaming of a Trite Christmas, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "'Is this a trick question?' Jake replied warily. 'Not at all!' she exclaimed, starting to get excited. 'Maybe this year we could stay home and have Christmas with just us and the girls.'"


• I SAT, Looking On, Powerless, As Everything Crumbled, by Brain Camper (COMPLETE!): "Daria with a hint of distress in her voice: Oh god, how long have I.... [She sees her clock] Oh crap! [Daria runs to her closet and starts throwing things out of her closet in search of something. Even Quinn is taken aback]"


• Life is Like T-Rex, by-sam (parts 9 and 10): "I didn't even flinch when a trio of spells blasted me into an easy chair, bound me to it, and gagged me. I also felt an Anti-Apparation ward fall into place over the room. As always, your aunt's spell work was impeccable." (Part 10)


• Nature or Nurture (Daria and the Gang Thread), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Yeah, well you can laugh. The Barksdale genes are going to kick in on our kids and both of us had better watch out!'"


• One (More) Little Thing, by peetz5050 (parts 19 and 20): "Their attention was drawn to the stage. Helen felt her pulse speed up as she saw Daria walk out with a nervous looking Sherman McGrundy in tow. Daria looked over at the sound desk and pointed to one of the standing microphones in front of her. Then she tapped the mike getting a sound on the second hit." (Part 20)



• Revelation (Scenes no Daria fic should have: Write The Lightning), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Jake scrolled through Facebook, skimming over various posts and pictures. He stopped at a photo of two people sitting side by side."


• 'Tis the Season..., by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked up from her keyboard, sensing a presence in the room. The door was still firmly closed and there were bars on the windows so...She swiveled around in her chair and did a double take. An extremely tall man? Woman? Androgynous person with white feathered wings stretching out to touch both walls stood by her bed. S/He also appeared to be glowing slightly."


• Unnamed story (IC: Lyrical Endings), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Jane wasn't entirely sure what to do. It has been almost an hour since Daria crawled into the cardboard box and she wasn't coming out for anything."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Quinn mused about the situation she woke up in. She was naked in a paddleboat that had obviously been on fire recently and was currently parked on the roof of Stacy's house."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have:Stupid, Silly and Disturbing), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Daria grabbed a massive hatchet and advanced toward Quinn, whose attention was focused on the TV."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have: Write The Lightning), by Brain Camper (COMPLETE!): "[Daria sits in her usual booth in the pizza place. There is a stream of dried blood seeping down her nose. Jane suddenly appears and looks at her friend curiously]"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fic should have: Write The Lightning), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "'Ever wonder what it would be like to reach third base with a married woman?'"


• Unnamed story (IC: Lyrical Endings), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "'Oh, lay that pistol down, babe.' Tom soothed or tried to as Daria eyed him with murderious intent."


• Worldhopper: Ring Shadow, by RLobinske (part 5): "Eyeing the gate, Richard said, 'I'm too close to quit now.'"

One Pizza with Entrails, Coming Up!

Happy birthday to the late Maureen O'Sullivan, who was born on this day in 1911. O'Sullivan was known for playing Jane in six Tarzan movies in the thirties and forties. Jane Lane over there is still deciding if she's the lady or the tiger, though.

Today is also the anniversary of the first Kentucky Derby in 1875. Now, I could have gone with the Jake-and-Helen horse alter ego for today's post, but I decided against it. You're welcome.

Finally, on this day in 1993, the Beavis and Butt-head episode "Scientific Stuff" aired. In it, Daria helps the boys with their science project--or do they help her? It's deep, man.

Fandom News!

• Roentgen discusses the Straight White Male difficulty setting for the real world.


• Did you know there was a Soviet Eurovision? Find out more in the thread!


• Have you been playing Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II? Discuss it in the thread!


• ThanatosRW wonders what would happen if Amelia lived in Lawndale?


• JPAGC posted two new Iron Chefs: The Morgendorffers get a Pet and No Kiss.


• Ranger Thorne is looking for advice on an artwork in progress.

Heh Heh Heh...Like, Cool!

Today is the 19th anniversary of the premiere of the original series of Beavis and Butt-head. Whether or not you're a fan of the show, it deserves mention at the very least because it's the TV show that gave us Daria. So...happy anniversary, butt munches!

Fanfic Update!

• And Then it Happened :: Chapter Two, by Fhujeth_x (part 1): "Stacy paused, 'What's that smell? Where are we?' She glanced around, a fallen knight's armor laying helplessly on the ground, sword still poised in his gauntlet, 'Is he dead?' Pointing to the rusted metal she peered closer, hearing a scratching sound inside of it. She moved in closer. Closer."


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 7), by oni (part 3): "Quinn thought for a moment and then said, 'Stacy there is something I got to know. I don’t know if she has talked to about this, but...,' she drew a breath and continued, 'is the only reason Sandi started the club in the first place was because of the pressure her mom put on her?' Forming a sad smile, Stacy replied, 'She didn’t talk to me directly about it, but with all the pieces of information she did share with me about her mother, I would have to say yes.' Sighing, she continued, 'For a more accurate answer, you’d have to ask her yourself.'"


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 8 and 9): "Darth Talon: 'I want to participate in an actual sport. This is not a sport, this is fluffy-' random noise, mouth and lekku blurred. Morris: 'What’s-' random noise ,mouth blurred. Darth Talon: 'Give me something worthy of my talents.' Morris: 'What am I a pimp?' Darth Talon: dashes at Morris accelerating at a rate that don’t make sense to anyone schooled in Newtonian physics, punches Morris in the abdomen. Morris: sinks to the ground, going foetal, too out of breath to say anything." (Part 9)


• Cynicspace (Iron Chef: Inner Daria), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "There was a lull in the conversation as Daria and Jane were walking to school. Not unusual. What was unusual, however, was Jane giving Daria a mischievous smirk before grabbing her forcefully by the wrist and yanking her behind a tall hedge next to the sidewalk for some privacy. 'Jane, what --' Daria was cut off as Jane thrust her tongue into her friend's mouth. Daria's inner selves did not like this at all."


• Daria DeMartino Part One: Esteemers with the DeMartinos, by Reven384 (part 1): "'Okay Dora what do you see,' the doctor said. 'It’s Daria you F***ing quack. Get it right if you want to talk with me,' Daria said her eye bulging. 'I’ll have to ask you to watch your language. Please tell me what you see Daria,' the doctor said flinching at the girl’s rage."


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 31): "'No, anything else would be too... uh oh.' Said Daria. 'What?' asked Tilly. 'Here comes your friend.' Said Jane, looking up. Tilly scrunched down, trying to hide, but it was a futile effort. Tristan came over to the table where the girls were sitting. 'Mind if I join you?'"


• Esteem of Anger (IC: DeMartino and Jake swapped), by januense: "'NO BUTS!! We're at school! Now go and try to PAY ATTENTION TO THE LESSONS ! I don't want to see you fooling around with all BRAINLESS HORMONE DRIVEN guys in this school hunting for DATES!' He stops the the car in front of LHS and Quinn rushes out of the car on the verge of tears. She reaches the school front door almost running, not paying attention at people around her. During the whole verbal fight a figure was sitting, quiet and almost forgotten in the rear side of the car. 'Dad ... ' she quietly spokes 'maybe your words were too harsh, even for Quinn ...'"


• A Knight in Shining Glasses (IRON CHEF: "...And that's how your dad and I got together."), by Waylander (COMPLETE!): "'You know, it's not in my rulebook to hit a chick, but you are asking for it, Miss Smart Mouth.' Daria waited, expecting Tommy Sherman to make a first move so she could use ultra-strength pepper spray and claim self-defense afterwards. 'Excuse me. I don't think it's very gentlemanly of you,' Tommy turned in surprise and saw the geekiest-looking geek he ever saw. 'Threatening women is wrong.'"


• Once More, With Daria, by misericordia (COMPLETE!): "Half an hour later. 'We had sex.' 'Well, yes, Dar. That's what we do. That, crack wise, eat junk food, and save the world from vampires. Well, mostly from vampires.'"


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 9, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "There she stood, in front of several different types of chains and ropes, part of her screaming to get out of the store now, that this was stupid, degrading, wrong... the other part of her pleading to do the right thing and find Ms. Barch at school and beg for help before it was too late. No, she had dignity, and she wanted to remain a queen of her own domain." (Part 2.5) (Part 3) (Part 4)


• To Annoy a Mockingbird, by BF110C4 (parts 2 and 3): "'So... where you girls been all our lives?' Bobby Bighead on the other hand had his brown hair in a neat cut. 'Waiting here for you. We were born in this room, we grew up in this room, and we thought we would die here... alone. But now you've arrived, and our lives can truly begin.' Betraying her sarcastic remark was one of her half smiles. 'She likes you.' In Daria’s mind one word came to mind. 'Showtime'"(Part 3)


• Unnamed story (IC: DeMartino and Jake swapped), by Waylander (COMPLETE!): "Anthony DeMartino was fuming, 'Stupid incompetent SHRINK! And what's WRONG if my DAUGHTER likes to read? What's wrong with the WORLD if the kids with functioning BRAIN are treated like LEPERS!'"


• Unnamed story (IRON CHEF: "...And that's how your dad and I got together."), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): "'How your dad and I met? Well we met a long time ago; in high school.' Daria said fixing her glasses. 'But I suppose you mean how we got together.' She thought back. 'About eighteen years ago I was on a trip to Boston visiting an old pal of mine.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Wish endings), by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "'I had won the Twisted Metal contest, and looking back, I still can't imagine how. I never was much of a fighter. I could still hear the echoes of the dying, the explosions of the other cars, I just couldn't focus. I look back at the crater that used to be Lawndale. I could have sworn that I saw my sister Helen there as well...I wonder what she would have wished for...'"


• Unnamed story (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Ms. Li's voice, a desperate edge in it, came on over the PA. 'Everyone out in the halls for soda. NOW!'"


• The Wrath Universe Ch. 1 New Life, Old Life, by ST91 (part 3): "'But now, please, could you tell me why you were visited by a psychologist?' 'You have no intention of giving up, right?' 'Exact.' 'Ok. Well. As I have said it's not anything important. When I was six, I was examined by the school psychologist as to why I did not socialize with other children.' 'And why didn't you socialize?' Oh well, now we are dancing so I might as well dance.... 'Because I hated the other children.'"

A Rare Moment of Joy for Highland Daria

It was on this day in 1995 that the Beavis and Butt-Head episode "Wet Behind the Rears" aired on MTV. Daria has only a small appearance in this episode, but she does get to laugh uproariously at Beavis and Butt-head's misfortune. So a good day for our heroine, anyway.

Fandom News!

• Arena del Sur has a question on notifications.


• medea42 wonders if anyone plans to do a fan history wiki.


• Talk about Lawndale High and matters of money and social classes in a new Deep Thoughts thread.


• CR85747 shares an article about slow TV and wonders if it relates to Daria.


• Interested in Detective Conan? Talk about it in the thread.


• Need a day off? Erin M. shares a video in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: jtranser's Rim Shots and Lord Yellowtail's I Met Myself on the Way to the Town Square ...


• Check out the ficlets being shared in Smijey's Mr. O'Neill, Asshole and mmmdraco's Loser's Mailbag story threads.

Or Maybe DeMartino Should Just Pay His Electric Bill Already!

Today is the 306th anniversary of the birth of Benjamin Franklin, who was (among other things) a diplomat, inventor, politician, and--as DeMartino is figuring out--discoverer of various theories about electricity.

Today is also the anniversary of the Beavis and Butt-head episode "Sprout," which aired in 1996. In it, Daria tries to give the boys some advice about gardening. As you may expect, it doesn't work out very well for them.

Fanfic Update!

• Armored Cynic Daria, Episode 1: Esteem Rising, by RX-87 (part 1): "QUINN: I can't believe we're moving to the L4 cluster! Ugh. It's so... So dull. Everyone knows L5 is where it's at! The clubs, the parties, the designers! Everybody who's anybody is there! DARIA: Hopefully that includes the High Front. It's just not a party without explosions."


• At the Crossroads..., by oni (part 3b): "As soon as the front door opened, Sandi and Stacy bolted up from their spots on the couch. Fear crept into Sandi as soon as she saw Quinn. 'We’re hom-,' Quinn immediately stopped what she was going to say the instant she saw Stacy in the living room. 'Stacy,' she said with excitement, and then had a complete change in mood as soon as she saw Sandi behind Stacy. 'Sandi,' she questioned in a nervous voice."


• The Author as a Lesbian, Season 4, by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "Sandi wasn't really aware of anything until she had been in several cars, and people sat around her doing paperwork. Occasionally they would ask her questions about her mother or...no, that wasn't him. Daddy's alive. It couldn't have been him up there. He had to be there to take care of me, especially when mother was being a bitch. So that wasn't him. It was just someone else who had climbed into the window and laid down on the bed and... She didn't realize that she was sobbing again until someone gently grabbed her arms and looked into her eyes." (Part 12) (Part 13) (Is It Fall Yet?)


• Be Careful What You Wish For, by Doggieboy (part 6): "Before she could even raise her right hand to knock on the door, it opened and John Hobbs blocked the doorway. The young woman stopped, startled, and instantly knew that something was wrong. 'What?' she asked. 'What’s wrong, John?' He crossed his arms over his chest - slowly. 'If you want someone else,' he said, 'I’ll let you go and you can be with him instead. But do not play me for a fool.' Oh, Goddess, no! Not this! Please!" (SFMB)


• A Bookstore Discussion (IC: Why was Trent was banned from the Bookstore?), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked at Jane as they walked home from school one day and asked, 'Why can't Trent go into the bookstore ever again, Jane?'"


• A Distant Lawndale, by Arena del Sur (part 3): "It's Dad... alive! Mom was there, and Quinn. Even the presence of Grandma Ruth moved me. I burst into tears. –Wow, she is very upset. –Quinn! –said Mom–. Daria, what's wrong? I didn't tried to talk, tears kept rolling down my chin and I could not stop, as I didn't in Dad's funeral."


• Ghost Girl Chapter 5, by Pumpkin Panic (part 2): "Daria smiled because Quinn in her own way had actually helped her feel a little bit better. 'Lets get to school and return to our normal hostilities as not to draw suspicion.' 'Yeah. I kinda really want to show whoever this guy is that he can't treat me like his object, and while I'm a pretty face I can also smash in his!' Quinn asserted with a raised fist."


• God Save The Esteem ep39: Epic F Word, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked away. 'You might be in a different school to me. And neither of us is popular at any school in the county for what we’ve done.' The unspoken threat hung in the air. 'So I have some damage control to do,' said Daria."


• Green Dragon Rising, by Grifter74: "Daria adjusted the butterfly clip holding her hair back in a ponytail as she looked in the mirror and checked her appearance. Wearing a green business suit, a different style of glasses, some make-up, and with her hair pulled back, almost nobody would connect Melody Powers the reporter, with Daria the high school student. Picking up her press badge and camera, Daria headed to Ernie's to look for her prey."


• Hugz (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'I kissed your boyfriend. I kissed Tom. I didn't mean to.' Jane began to run off. 'Jane, wait!'"


• Humpty Dumpty, by Smijey (part 2): "'Mn,' Daria replied noncommittally. 'Hey, are you okay?' Daria shot Jane a look. 'Right, of course not. But...what's on your mind?' Daria frowned, then spoke. 'Something Ms. Li said, about not getting any TV or radio broadcasts.'"


• It Could Be Worse Than Tom (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Pumpkin Panic (COMPLETE!): "Daria walked into Jane's bedroom a freindly greeting dying on her lips, 'Oh god. I have to-' she felt sick."


• John Lane 52: From the Last Step to the First, by RLobinske (part 4): "The thoughts that woke him up came back to his mind. Graduation. I made it. Wow. Now we have to move on to real life. At least we have the summer before then. Summer. What are we going to do until we leave for Boston? Helen isn't going to let us sit around on our asses, no matter how much we'd like to. We need a plan."


• The Lawndale Adventure, by LadieT and The Angst Guy (part 2): "When he walked into the bar, the owner was yelling at the Captain, who bumped into him as he was staggering out the door, clutching a bottle of rum tightly in his grip. Mr. DeMartino turned and watched the captain leave with concern etched on his face."


• Quinn's Code 05: Morgendorffers vs. Amazon, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 5): "'Yes, I believe that your younger daughter has potential. That is why I pressured the principal into making her attendance mandatory,' Romonica said. 'Pressured, how?' Romonica remained silent. Helen stared back."


• Rude Awakening Ep.9: Join The Club, by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "DARIA: Speaking of Sandi....You owe me forty dollars! JANE: Why? DARIA: Didn't you said Tom and Sandi wouldn't last 6 months? JANE: I said a year. You said 6 months and that still means I'm still alive in the pool."


• Shadow of The Fade, by BrownEyedBagel (part 1): "The alarm buzzed as he lay there awake. Anthony had never dreamed about his former life, much less thought about it. In a violent display he grabbed the alarm clock and sent it at high velocity to the wall. He grumbled as he got out of bed, twenty five glorious years separated him from back then. A quarter of a century since he escaped with most of his sanity intact, since he left that baby with some beatnik woman who he would unfortunately end up sharing a town with years later."


• Unnamed story (IC: Why was Trent was banned from the Bookstore?), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "Trent and Monique entered the bookstore to buy her a copy of Violin. They had just come from seeing the film Titanic which premired a month prior. A lot of women from the theater were there looking for romance novels."


• With An "Uh", And An "Um", by mmmdraco (parts 6 - 8): "'Daria, if you can't take me staying here, I understand. I'm sure I can find someplace else.' 'No,' she said firmly. 'Don't leave.' 'But if I'm going to make things too difficult for you,' Trent trailed off and glanced down at his thumb, nearly dry now, but lightly stained with the pomegranate's juice. 'I don't want to make you do anything that you don't absolutely want to do.'" (Part 7) (Part 8)

Ho, Ho, Ho!

Merry Christmas! "X" is feeling a little disgruntled at the lack of gingerbread cottages, but I hope the rest of you have an excellent holiday or, if you don't celebrate Christmas, an excellent day!

Helpful fan Charles RB has pointed out that Daria appeared in a Christmas issue of the Beavis and Butt-head comic book, where she tries--and fails--to teach the moronic duo the meaning of Christmas.

And if that isn't enough to get you in the holiday spirit, why not check out this list of Christmas-related Daria fanfics?

• Bumpmas by Richard Lobinske


• Christmas Chaos by LadieT


• The Christmas Clip Show by Mahna Mahna


• Christmas Eve at the Lanes by Adrienne


• Christmas in White by Richard Lobinske


• Christmas Melody by Richard Lobinske


• Christmas Morning by Robert Nowall


• Christmas Snow by LadieT


• Daria and Jane are Forced to Save Xmas by JohnnyStyle


• A Daria Christmas Special by Bacner


• Daria's Christmas Carol by Admonisher


• Daria's Season of Goodwill by Nemo Blank


• The Diary of Daria Morgendorffer: A Portrait of a Young Girl by Melissa


• Gifts by Wyvern


• The Greatest Gift by LadieT


• Herself, an Elf by John Berry


• It's a Holiday's Night by peapotmaster


• It's a Wonderful Misery Chick Life by Patrick Moore


• The Lane Way by Vlora


• Murphy’s Christmas by legendeld


• O Holy Nightmare by Jill "Leopard Lady" Friedman


• Sappy Holidays by Kristin Wegner


• Scarlett the Fairy Meets Santa Claus by Aloysius


• Season of Hope and Blight by MeScribble


• Scene from a Lawndale Christmas by undefinedlust


• A Star in the East Window by Guy "Decelaraptor" Payne


• Thankful Snark by Charles RB


• The Twelve Days of Scarlett the Fairy's Christmas by Aloysius


• A Very Cynical Christmas by Warpedkjh13


• Weak at the Freeze by Fiona Lane


• Yes, Quinn... by NightGoblyn

Gobble, Gobble!

Happy Thanksgiving! Unless you live in a country where it isn't Thanksgiving, of course. The rest of us can stuff our faces until we fall asleep, aside from Quinn there, who (I'm guessing) pissed Daria off once too often.

Charles RB reminds me that Daria made a brief appearance in a Thanksgiving issue of the Beavis and Butt-head comic in 1994, in which she teaches the two the real meaning of Thanksgiving.

Okay, not really. But here's a list of Thanksgiving-related Daria fanfic that, even if it's not particularly meaningful, should be fairly entertaining. Enjoy!

• Arrivals and Returns (Falling Into College), by RLobinske


• Be Careful What You Wish For, by Angelinhel


• Bitter Harvest (The Heather/Damsel Chronicles), by NightGoblyn


• Daria Went Down to Georgia (Falling Into College), by RLobinske


• For This, We're Thankful (Falling Into College), by RLobinske


• Home for Thanksgiving (Falling Into College), by RLobinske


• Meanwhile In..., by Wyvern337


• Over the River and Through the Mood Swings, by Kristen Bealer


• Pause in the Air and Thanks Giving, by The Angst Guy


• Thanks, but no Thanks-giving, by Matt


• Turkey Days, by Patrick Moore


• Where Do We Go From Here? (Daria/Dorian) by LadieT

Sorry, O'Neill, but Inner Children Don't Count.

Happy Universal Children's Day! Daria won't be celebrating, considering her stance of "I don't like kids. I didn't even like kids when I was a kid." Still, that's a couple of seriously cute children over there.

Also on this day, Daria appeared in the Beavis and Butt-head episode "U. S. History" in 1995. In it, we find that Daria is apparently a fan of conspiracy theories. Perhaps something she picked up from Sick, Sad World?

Fanfic Update!

• The Author as a Lesbian, Season 3, by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "Daria smiled at Jen, then noticed that Jane was looking off to her left. 'Hey. Hey!' she said, bumping her girlfriend. 'I'm sorry, hon. It's just that guy was staring at me.' 'And I can see how that pains you. Let's go to the bathroom and give him someone else to obsess about.' Jane sighed. 'Okay.' Once they came back, Daria nudged Jane. 'Looks like he did.'"


• Bits of a Star Gone Wrong (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by SoCalledGoodeGuy: "When it hit, it was all sound and fury. ISA OV-234 Temeraire skewed madly, alarms shrieking and metal rending. For it’s unfortunate occupants, the weightless environment became a blizzard of loose objects and food packets as storage containers and the galley burst open under the punishment. Red emergency lights snapped on, painting the scene in crimson, dyeing the drops of blood in the air to ink."


• Competition Kitten Cannon! (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2011!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "This is what’s so nice about Ostrich Day, Yaniv thought, unaware of his friend's passing distress. We get to invite people in to play, and don’t have to hide anything – not that many people are allowed on the grounds who don’t know, but still..."


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 5): "'Lynn? Is that you?' came the voice from somewhere in the house. 'No. It’s the tooth fairy.' Said Lynn. She paused for a second, then continued 'Yeah, it’s me.' 'Where did you wander off too?' 'I went to see an, uh, err, friend, I met online.' Said Lynn. Well, she wasn’t entirely lying."


• Daria Morgendorffer, College Girl, by Boring Bricks (part 1): "Submerged, Daria watched the bubbles escape from her nose and float up to the surface. It had been a very busy week, having just done her English Lit exam. To her surprise, she actually found it quite challenging. Once she had done, Daria had herself puzzled, wondering, I really haven't got my A game on lately. Then she retreated back to her dorm room and went into her tub, a ritual that she'd been performing for almost a month now. Her baths have become the only time she was able to escape the busy college life, the exams and the notes, the only time she could able to hear herself think." (Part 2)


• God Save The Esteem ep37: CSI Don't Care, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'I was just wondering... umm... The person who hit you-' 'Oh wait, sorry Cin,' he said apologetically. 'If I tell the feds or anything, that’d be snitching. And that’s not cool!' 'I’m not a cop though.' 'Oh yeah. I guess it’s okay then! It was...'"


• Hot Air Balloon Saga (SFMB), by Gum Wars: "It had been yeas since DARIA had ruined her parents with her hot air balloon plan. She had convinced her father that buying the baloon was a good idea, knowing he would run it into the ground and ruin them all."


• The Lady and the Tiger, by RLobinske (part 2): "'So it's an "us" now,' Jane teased. Daria turned to face Jane. 'You're the one who desperately needs to get laid. How well did ten o'clock, move-in day go?' 'We don't talk about that.'"


• A Matter of Retrieval (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2011!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The lights in the room began to flicker and dim; to a man, the assembled group went silent – not out of fear, but in the calculating manner of a pack of wolves, coming to realize that other predators might be near, hungry for their prize, and determined to take it for themselves... 'Code Rival,' intoned the last speaker – an average-looking, bespectacled American. 'We need to move.'"


• No One Is To Blame (My Annual Thanksgiving Fanfic Release - 2011!), by Brother Grimace (parts 1 and 2): "'Is there still a problem here?' Both young men turned to face Daria – her sudden re-appearance sending a slight murmur through the onlookers. Daria approached the two, her arms folded. 'I heard your discussion,' she said, stepping close to the two of them and giving both a stern look – a look that Tom shrank from, and which David Allen noticed with interest. 'Do you understand what I mean?'" (Part 2)


• A QB Grows in Lawndale, by Kristen Bealer (parts 6 and 7): "'Andrea, right?' 'Yeah.' She glared at him and brushed a strand of black hair away from her face. 'Look, before you even say it, my lousy parents are making me work here to save money for college. Not that you'd understand anything about that.' 'Hey!' Kevin exclaimed, suspecting that he'd just been insulted. Then he paused. 'Wait, which part don't I understand?'" (Part 7)


• Star Trek: Adventures on New Victoria – Trouble in the Gipps Sea (Non-Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Miss Allenby?' the person said, in a strange accent that Kazza could not identify. She was sure that was to put her off guard, whilst she thought about it. 'Hi, to what do I have the pleasure?' she said. 'You don't fool me, Miss Allenby. We know that a member of the Q Continuum was warning you about something, most likely us, though we only have the audio of your side of the conversation,' the person said. Kazza could see that he had a poker face, he wasn't giving anything away..."


• Tigresses of Summer (reposted), by taishigi (part 1): "'This is going to be my new look,' Jane stated firmly, before rounding on Daria. 'And you're assisting in the procedure.' 'I'm what?' Tom was equally surprised. 'You're not serious!' Jane's fierce look gave the other two a glimpse of her inner-tiger, and Tom at least was worried. Sensing weakness, Jane turned on him first. 'What do you mean? I thought you liked it!'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane in your Home Town), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "The mid semester entrance of Jane Lane to the Hollowed Halls of BFAC was met with mostly indifference by the trustfund artfags. 'Ew! Scholarships? Pell grants? Student loans?' The Genuine Artfags, i.e., the gay and lesbian students at BFAC was much different. These were serious art students, looking to hone and develop their skill and talent. The recognition of a kindred spirit, although straight, led to invitations to all the best parties and meeting all the interesting people at BFAC."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane in your Home Town), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "'I thought your said it would be just like Lawndale,' Jane said as she pulled up to the light. An Applebee's and a King Kullen covered one side of the street, while the other was dominated by the concrete railroad el that rose from a sea of parking lots. 'It is,' Daria said. 'Same rows of pre-fab homes, same shitty chain restaurants, same gas stations and bars and all the usual crap.'"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane in your Home Town), by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'What’s the deal with the writing on the road at all these street corners telling you which way to look when you cross? Is it a special service for stupid people?'"

Ultra Cola...the Refreshing Way to Explore the World!

Happy Columbus Day! Today we observe the anniversary of Christopher Columbus discovering America. The anniversary is technically on October 12th and not the 10th, but then again Columbus technically didn't discover America, either. So it all works out.

Columbus Day was also celebrated by Beavis, Butt-head, and Daria in Beavis and Butt-head issue 22, in which the intrepid duo succeed in discovering new ways to piss Daria off. Thanks to Charles RB for the head's up about the link to the comic book summary!

Today is also both Thanksgiving in Canada and World Mental Health Day, and it's fitting that the two go hand-in-hand. After all, the Holiday Island version of Thanksgiving has "a lot of screwed-up family problems and always gets depressed by the end of the day." Why should Canada be any different?

Fandom News!

• The new Beavis and Butt-head trailer is online. And is that...could it be...?


• Did Daria and Jane have a "Boston marriage"?


• Charles RB shares ten reasons Aquaman is a bad ass.


• What's your favorite celebrity quote? Brother Grimace wants to know!


• Discuss the fanfics "Tigresses of Summer" and "Tigresses of Lawndale" by Dr T in the Creative Writing forum.


• Two new Iron Chefs posted: LadieT's Four Words and Charles RB's The Tropes Have Risen From Beyond The Grave.

Every Time a Bell Rings, a Cynic Gets a Love Life

On this day on 1995, the Beavis and Butt-head episode It's a Miserable Life aired. In it, we learn that if Butt-head had never been born, Daria would be not only be much happier, but would also have a boyfriend (see left).

Makes you wonder what the show Daria would have been like under those conditions, doesn't it? For one thing, a happy, well-adjusted Daria probably would not have been placed in self-esteem class, so she would have been less likely to meet Jane. Which means--gasp!--we should be glad Butt-head was born, after all! Merry Christmas, you wonderful old garden gnome!

Okay, now for some fandom news:

• Kara Wild is done creating the new PPMB database! Moving day is coming soon!


• Quiverwing reminds everyone that we only have 22 days left to nominate fanfics and artwork for the Daria Fandom Awards!


• DrNoGood09 has started a thread about Christmas songs that we love and hate. Warning: You will probably leave that thread with at least three annoying songs stuck in your head.


• breitasparrow found an interesting definition of "Daria" on Urban Dictionary, and a funny thread was born!


• Good luck to HeirOfNorton, who is applying to grad school to become a librarian! An honorable and glorious profession, if I do say so myself!


• Erin M. has posted a new micro-shared world idea: A Very Judith Christmas.


• Jim North has started a thread about 2010 fanfics and fanfic plans for 2011.


• It's a great time for Iron Chefs lately, as there are two new ones: Freaky Friday "VA Version" from GlitterShrooms and Tom Lane from Vukodlak.

Don't get a swelled head over it!

Today marks the 16th anniversary of the MTV premiere of The Head, an odd but engaging animated show about a guy with a big head in which an alien lives. The series features a cameo by Butt-head, so it is arguably part of the same world as Daria. If so, why is that one kid wearing a T-shirt for The Head? So many mysteries....

Moar news soon.

This Spud's for You

Sorry about reusing the Beavis and Butt-head "Mister Potato Head" image so soon, but I stand here before you to tell you, in complete seriousness, that today is National Potato Day. You are required by law, regardless of the country you live in or wished you lived in, to eat something that has to do in some way with potatoes: mashed potatoes, French fries, cheese fries, potato chips with or without ruffly ridges, whatever. I know you will your best.

Today is many other things as well: National Aviation Day, Gene Roddenberry's birthday (from whom we get Trekkies), Ogden Nash's birthday (from whom we get snarky poetry), World Humanitarian Day, and two years from now, Daria faces death on an alien planet. Yay! So much goodness, don't know where to begin.

Soooooooooooo... we'll start with fanfic.

PPMB

• The Cornfield, by Smileyfax (Part 2): "How was your first day at school, Daria?" "I almost killed the school counselor," she answered matter-of-factly, watching Quinn as she listlessly pushed her food around her plate. Jake forced a laugh. "Ha HAAA! What a sense of humor! What about you, Quinn? How was your first day?" Quinn met her father's eyes for a half-second, then resumed rearranging her food. Jake carried on like Quinn had replied to him. "That's great, honey!"
• Daria/Dorian 7: Motorcycles and Jocks Don't Mix, by LadieT (Part 1): "Hey, Dorian and Jane... doesn't Kevin look like a rebel in his new jacket? The one he got for Christmas wouldn't fit over his shoulder pads so we had to exchange it." "Where's the bike?" Jane asked. A confused look came over Kevin's face. "Huh?" "That's a motorcycle jacket," Dorian replied. "It's made out of leather to protect you from scrapes when your head's bouncing off the grill of a truck." Jane immediately added, "If you're just wearing it for style, then it's a waste of a perfectly good cow."

• Finn Morgendorffer 56: A Journey to Eternity, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 4): Lindy laughed. “Are you free this weekend?” “I am,” Finn replied. “What’s up?” “A party. The 80's. Can you fashion disaster it?” Finn laughed. Theme parties were kinda fun if done right. And the 80's had music as great as the fashion was ugly. That would be a fun night.
  
• First Loss, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Jackie watched the blonde storm off with a small smile. It had been cruel of her, true, but if anything was true about Jackie it was that she always spoke the truth. Kevin beamed his dopey grin and Jackie blew him a kiss for good measure. He hadn't remembered her at first, but it was hard to hold it against him. Soon the assembly was over and as the students began filing out, Jackie tossed her feathered hair and caught one of the military-looking guys' eye. A wink and a smile and the deal was done.
• NEWER! God Save the Esteem 2: Fight for Your Invite to Party, by Charles RB (Parts 1 and 2): Quinn was going through her leather gear and trying to find the skimpiest ones she could. “Hmmm... one inch after bra or half inch? One inch or half inch, one inch or half inch...” “Is this a bad time to mention there’s a cold front coming in?” Daria stood in the doorway, the cloud behind the silver lining. “Go away, I’m concentrating. There’s some big party in Crewe Neck on Saturday and we’re gonna be crashing it.” “Countdown: T minus 72 hours. Might this be Brittany’s party?” “Yes, and might you... how do you know about a party?” “I’m invited. Not sure if I’ll go yet.” “You’re invi... MUM! DAD! DARIA’S SELLING OUT!” (NEWER! Part 2)
  

• Grove Hell 2: All the Lawndale People, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): The nearer she got to Tuesday night, the worse Daria felt. Her stomach was full of acid and she was sweating, and she’d have to go through the notes every so often to avoid outbursts. She’d managed to blank out for the entirety of Maths but, luckily, Mr Ewing was used to people doing that and hadn’t picked up on it. The one bright spot: Jane muttering “everything’s set up, and I’ve ensured Trent will be awake. Well, I will ensure. I have heavy boots.” T minus six hours and counting.

• NEW! Import/Export, by Brian Taylor (Part 1): "Hey, kid," said a voice that shouldn't have been talking, two hours after it shouldn't have been saying anything. Daria Morgendorffer had heard a lot of voices since she'd been thrown into Cook Country for using grabby fingers to fill a hungry belly. Such were the ways of the world.; such was the spirit of the times. None of those voices ever said anything worth hearing. Usually, they just wanted something. Usually that something wasn't something any sensible somebody in a skirt wanted to hear.
  

• In Any Other World, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): “Girls, I realize it’s not easy moving to a whole new town... especially not for you, Daria.” She didn’t respond. She’d been staring sullenly out the window for the whole journey. “I know it was hard losing your room and Mr Van Driessen and everything, but—” “Can you drop me off here?” interrupted Quinn. “I want to make a good impression on the first day, that really helps with your rep—I mean, blow it and everyone’s gonna remember you for that, it’s like that big bird thing 'round your neck, and it’ll just look better if I arrive at school on my own and not with—” She paused just for a second. “—my dad. It’s kinda lame.”
  

• Jane Lane Tries to Do Some Begging, or, Writer's Block Comix 2, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 2): At this dramatic juncture in the narrative, there came a brisk, masculine knock at the front door. Such knocks were not always good news at stately Lane manor, especially when the parents were away. Sometimes there were truant officers behind them; since it was still summer, that seemed unlikely. But, sometimes there were process servers upon the moors; was that a possibility? Jane didn't know of any bills in the red zone, but it was so easy to miss something!
• NEWER! Kolchak: The Lawndale File, by Chris Tucker (Parts 3 and 4 and 5): "Ladies, I'm almost finished, please, sit and I'll be out of your hair in a minute." "Thanks, that's very kind of you." Her voice seemed to be sincere, but there was something maybe a little sarcastic... I don't know. She took the bench opposite me and her friend, a taller girl with stunning blue eyes and three rings in her ear joined her. The first girl spoke again, something about me being new here. "In town or in here? Yes, to both." I introduced myself, and the two girls were suitably unimpressed. Can't say as I blame them. (Part 4) (NEW! Part 5) (Daria/Kolchak: The Night Stalker)
• NEW! The Lane That Wasn't, by LadieT (Part 20): Jane knew the moment of decision was fast approaching. Reaching down once again, a smile came over her face. Feeling the warmth, Jane thought about her life as she knew it. There were very few occasions when she felt the sense of familial love. Everyone of them involved Trent. This new life was surrounded by it. If this road is encircled by it, then Trent's road should be, too. More importantly, if she chose this other path..she wouldn't lose Trent. The one person who mattered most to her in this life was still going to be her older brother.
  

• Legacy, by Getrealordie187 (Interlude 5): Sandi sits up straight in her chair, furious at the other girl's audacity. "Where do you get off talking to me like that in my own house while you call my mother by her first name and tell me about how I talk to my friends? Who do you think you are?" The brunette sits on the grass and stretches her legs out. "We're not in your house are we? This is your mother's house and she encouraged me to call her Linda when I met her earlier this week. I just think its hilarious the way you talked to that little pig-tailed girl, because you need all the friends you can get right now and you don't appear to have any.
• Moving Pictures IV (formerly The Camera IV), by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): "And here I always thought the only reason you'd ever show school spirit is if..." One of the floodlights sputters out. The auditorium lights come up. A tall, scrawny kid with glasses ducks on stage from behind the curtain. Kelly emits a sudden, loud laugh. "Now I get it!" "Get what? You can't get anything," says Amy a touch too quickly. "There's nothing to get." "You're not doing this for money. You're doing this because Joey Caswell's working tech and you just want an excuse to skulk in the shadows and stare at him." There's a pause. "Shut up," Amy hisses through what sound like clenched teeth.
• Unnamed story (Commune-ists), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "OF COURSE we ran away! They were going to make us eat GOAT CHEESE! HOMEMADE GOAT CHEESE!"
  

• Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "And so," Daria Morgendorffer said, hands clasped behind her back as she paced in front of the suspects in the Great Lawndale High Bake Sale Caper. "The crumpled pay stub found in the basket where the cheerleading squad had their chocolate-covered bundt cake, along with the bottle of eye drops found under the Fashion Club's table when their Eyeshadow Cookies were stolen started pointing to a member of the Lawndale High faculty..." "Ms. Morgendorffer," Ms. Li said. "You can't seriously be accusing a teacher at Laaaaaawndale High to be a low-down pastry-pilfering thief!" (Daria/Captain Caveman)

• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Gangster School?), by Smileyfax (COMPLETE!): "Alright, youse mugs, simmer down!" he called out. "My name's 'Tommy' O'Neill. You know why the call me Tommy?" He opened the violin case, seized out the Thompson submachine gun inside, and emptied a clip into the ceiling. Bits of plaster rained down upon the students, all of whom seemingly unaffected by the insane act. Daria herself flinched and slumped down lower in the seat. "I wanna talk to youse all about realizing your actuality, and you all better stand up afterward and proudly proclaim 'I am', capische?"
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Gangster School?), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): [Won't spoil it for you!]
  

• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: In Search of "Donor"), by Wormbait (COMPLETE!): "Wow, you actually had an affair with that?" Jack asked his friend while watching the auburn-haired woman in the pantsuit rail at her family from by the door to the restaurant where they were supposed to meet. "You must have been a lot braver when you were younger, Danny boy. Not hard to guess which one's yours."
  

• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Misery Chip), by smk (COMPLETE!): "Are you sure you want to try the scenario again? After what happened last time?" "Well it's completely ridiculous! Women of the day were expected to have careers and fulfill traditional female roles in the home, it's no wonder the pressure got to them. Although that woman you had me play was simply absurd! Constantly railing at everyone because a relationship ended? And besides, what do you think holodeck safety features are for?" "Very well. We'll be starting in a couple hours. But this time, please remember that it's a science class, not a combat scenario." (Daria/Star Trek: The Next Generation)
  
• The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser (continued): "'No, Jane, this one I'll have to do alone. I can't risk anyone else being trapped in his web and eaten." "Why not, Daria? What about the limitless hordes of fanatical simuloid followers you picked up in that mystic's dream, what's his name, Doobie Baba?" "Ashlune Bubanabaar. I checked. They're busy." "That, or scared shitless." "Can you blame them?"