Giddyup!

Helen and Jake are celebrating the anniversary of the first Kentucky Derby on this day in 1875, while the rest of us avert our eyes and try to scrub the image from our brains. You know, I really don't think this is what the Middleton bursar meant when he asked Jake if he plays the ponies.

Today is also Pack Rat Day, so today's the day to clean out the garage while the girls are at a camp reunion or throw out all the moldy food in the fridge. Figured out what that red stuff is yet?

Fanfic Update!

• And I Feel Fine (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "The man staggered towards Fremont, wondering why he'd done it. His wife and son had been the thing that made his life bearable, ever since that girl and her car had destroyed his guitar and his chances on the road."


• Coffee, by Zetor (part 2c): "Stacy looked over the items on the counter and hummed thoughtfully. 'Well, I did most of the cooking this morning. All that's really left is the turkey and the gravy, and we can't make the gravy until the turkey's done.'"


• Death Of A Dream, by WildDogJJ (part 1): "We zoom in to see a camcorder mounted on a tripod next to Quinn's car. Quinn and Jim are looking at the camera. Jim: Hello, I'm Jim the Car Guy. Today, I'm going to show my girlfriend how to fix a flat tire. Say hi to the viewers, Quinn. Quinn smiles sweetly."


• How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 10): "'So I guess the question now is should we still go to Jodie’s party?' Kevin asked. He and Daria were still sitting at the pizza place not yet feeling up to dealing with their lives outside right now."


• Meetings, by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "Sandi continued to ask herself if she'd gone crazy as she microwaved a bag of popcorn. She refused to face her present company again until she'd had time to properly reorient herself but she was having no such luck."


• Rise of Weirdness, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (parts 1 and 2): "There had always been weirdness, which science couldn't explain. It was thought that it had disappeared in the early 20th Century, but it wasn't so. Shortly before the Second Great War, a discovery was made in Mesopotamia. A stash of cuneiform tablets. A Sumerian library. Little did the archaeologists know what that library contained."


• Second Chance for Love, by David Falkayn (part 13): "'That slimy...rotten...sleazy...' Angie fumed as she picked Elizaveta up at the Morgendorffer house for another day of school. 'What happened, szereto?' Elizaveta asked, her voice etched with concern."


• Unnamed story (LLH Short Entries #2), by Roentgen (part 122): "Jodie Landon buttoned her blouse and checked herself in the full length mirror in Brittany Taylor's room. Finding her old lip gloss, she applied it and checked her appearance from several angles."

Giddy-up, Helen!

Helen and Jake are all ready to compete in the Kentucky Derby today, but I think they might have some trouble. First of all, Jake's probably too big to be a jockey. Secondly, the Kentucky Derby probably requires that the contestants be actual, you know, horses. Still, good luck to those two and good luck to the rest of you in getting that very disturbing image out of your heads.

Fanfic Update!

• Cynic and a Six-String, by fringeperson (part 12): "When the Morgendorffer family were packing up their house in Texas, it was decided that they would also do a thorough clean-out – something they hadn't done the previous couple of times they'd moved, and almost didn't this time either."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Highland Years, by Meester_Lee (parts 5a and 5b): "The school year ended in early June. Jake got a promotion to assistant sales manager, and Helen began to go to the office for a few hours weekdays, often taking Ronnie with her." (Part 5b)


• James the Lesser Presents Vinny Lane, by James the Lesser (part 40): "Listening to Daria fret over scholarships made Vinny depressed. He had thought about college since Daria pushed him on it. He really did look up various art schools across the country."


• Lawndale 2021 Season Three, by Anguirus1955 (part 10): "Somewhere on the moon, inside a large blocky structure, two blocky cubic beings, one purple and one green, sat in chairs while looking at a large screen. On the screen were two ugly spikey creatures."

One Pizza with Entrails, Coming Up!

Happy birthday to the late Maureen O'Sullivan, who was born on this day in 1911. O'Sullivan was known for playing Jane in six Tarzan movies in the thirties and forties. Jane Lane over there is still deciding if she's the lady or the tiger, though.

Today is also the anniversary of the first Kentucky Derby in 1875. Now, I could have gone with the Jake-and-Helen horse alter ego for today's post, but I decided against it. You're welcome.

Finally, on this day in 1993, the Beavis and Butt-head episode "Scientific Stuff" aired. In it, Daria helps the boys with their science project--or do they help her? It's deep, man.

Fandom News!

• Roentgen discusses the Straight White Male difficulty setting for the real world.


• Did you know there was a Soviet Eurovision? Find out more in the thread!


• Have you been playing Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode II? Discuss it in the thread!


• ThanatosRW wonders what would happen if Amelia lived in Lawndale?


• JPAGC posted two new Iron Chefs: The Morgendorffers get a Pet and No Kiss.


• Ranger Thorne is looking for advice on an artwork in progress.

Another Disturbing Alter Ego: Yea or Neigh?

The first Kentucky Derby was run on this day in 1875. The winner was a horse named Aristides, who I'm sure ran much faster than Helen ever could.

Also on this day, in 1954, Brown v. Board of Education was decided. This not only led to the desegregation of public schools, but also was a significant step forward for the civil rights movement. Hooray!

New Fanfic!

• Daria & ..., by HeirOfNorton (part 1): "Mom got Quinn out of the car, and she and Dad stood next to Daria to look at the house. 'Who are we visiting here?' Daria asked. Her parents just looked at her for a moment, and Daria turned away, afraid she had said something weird again. 'Daria, we're not visiting anyone here,' Mom said. 'We're moving here.'"


• Life in Lawndale, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "'Dammit! You don't NEED to do this!' Intellectually, she knew this for a fact. Emotionally, she still didn't trust adults, particularly adults who were her mother and father. Evan a mother and father who had shown her and her younger sister nothing but love and affection and support, who had never hit them, who had never abused them. Unlike back at the old house. In Greyfield."


• Life Through A Glass Enclosure (Long Story Challenge #4, Round 1), by LadieT (part 1): "There on the front page was local celebrities Mystik Spiral after they announced that they would be starting their second world tour in their home town. After several years of struggling to make a name for themselves, they were finally on their way. Curtis crumpled up the paper in disgust as he thought about what could have been. "


• Not So Different 22: Getting The Silver Lining To The Mint, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'Sonny Morgendorffer', she said, with surprising interest, and then a moment later, 'You don’t look well. What happened to your neck?' Sonny was confused. He didn’t know anything had happened to his neck. What could happen to a neck? Broken? Guillotined? 'You’ve got a horrible blotchy rash.'"


• Not So Different 23: Why Would Anybody Ask Us?, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Why couldn’t Quinn learn to keep her big fat stupid mouth shut—sorry, keep her cute sweet perfectly shaped and optimally proportioned stupid mouth shut? Sonny had had no success before with aversion therapy, but he had not yet had a better idea. He asked his parents if the ‘everybody’ who should go included them. Initially, it appeared, his mother had only meant every student, but Sonny pointed out the opportunity for their parents to support Quinn by cheering from the footlights. Quinn’s facial features tried to escape from each other at the thought. There! Sonny thought. See what happens when you open your mouth? So stop doing it!"


• Quinn of Hearts, by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'Well, good luck to y--hold on, did you just say Pizza Prince is open?!' Jane cried. 'Uh huh. I guess the renovations didn't take as long as they expected or something.' Daria leaned toward Jane to say in a low voice, 'Someone finally paid off the Health Department.'"


• Rude Awakening Ep 5: Switching Formats, by DIsaac (parts 2 and 3): "JANE: I know what you want to say, but I won't let you finish like Kayne. What if Upchuck being female makes him more sensitive to the feeling of other people. I could see 'Female' Upchuck being a hopeless romantic. DARIA: Jane, you just described Stacy Rowe. She is sensitive to the feelings of others and is a chronic hopeless romantic. JANE No, you mean 'Hopeful' romantic. Upchuck is Hopeless!" (Part 3)


• Silent Melody, by Silver (part 2): "Daria shook the thoughts off, and straightened up. She blinked, glancing around. Her eyes drifted over the milling crowd around Lawndale High. Her eyes finally fell on a girl sitting some yards away. Her eyes were covered by sunglasses with two very different lenses- one red and circular, the other green and rectangular. The girl stood, smirking, and started walking towards her."


• Topsy-Turvy (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Quinn knelt on Daria's shoulders, pounding fists into the prone girl's face again and again. Jane stood aside, arms crossed, and frowned as she watched the brutal display. Her eyes were chips of blue ice."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "(Judith faces Daria Wraithkiller on the top of the Sears Tower, when - from out of nowhere - in pops Agency supervisor Richard (on lead guitar), Archangel (on bass) and Reiko Tsereba (on drums).) Judith: (actually surprised) What the hell is this?"

It's Kind of Complicated

Welcome to May Day, the spring festival day that celebrates pretty much everything. In the U.S. this is also Law Day (with a nod to Helen Morgendorffer), Loyalty Day (with a nod to Ms. Angela Li), Join Hands Day (fraternal groups helping society), Lei Day (Hawaii only, not in Bermuda as Sandi Griffin thinks), and In the Heart of the Beast (Minneapolis giant puppet show).

Worldwide it is also Beltane (or Samhain across the uninhabited southern zones of the planet), International Workers' Day (what it sounds like), EuroMayDay (like May Day, except not), the founding day of the Illuminati, the optional feast day of St. Joseph (patron saint of workers and fathers), the 203rd anniversary of the abolition of the slave trade in the British Empire, the 170th anniversary of the first adhesive postal stamp (YES!), and the 158th birthday anniversary of Calamity Jane (who is mentioned here only because her name was Jane, like Jane Lane, who was far more interesting).

It is also the day when, 18 years ago, Rodney King made his famous appeal for calm during the 1992 riots in Los Angeles. Whatever other faults he may have, Mr. King did a great thing at that moment, and it is worth reflecting on that. Thank you, Mr. King.

AND... because it is the first Saturday in May, it is Derby Day (what is likely to be a very muddy Run for the Roses) and more importantly Free Comic Book Day! Get yer butt down to your local comic book store and get one while supplies last!

Whew. Go thou and party.

FF.net

• NEW! The Fate of the Duels, by A440 (Part 2): Once safe in room 403 on the fourth level of the motel, Brittany looked over the interior, which was white and pink plaster with a clean white deep carpet, a decent bed with red sheets, a high-def TV on the wall, and a equally clean red-tiled bathroom with a pull-up window shade over the toilet. From there, the blonde turned on the TV and tuned to ABC Nightline, then unwrapped her bundle, revealing two five-foot-long katana-type samurai swords in their sheaths, gold armor on the swords, and a black pearl finish on the scabbards; those she carefully placed in the closet.
• NEW! Flight, by Bear-Bell (Parts 1 and 2): Trent wondered what had happened. He wasn't exactly content with his lot in life, and he'd always had a generally negative outlook of the world, but this feeling of dissatisfaction had never been so acutely understood before. Janie's gone, he immediately thought. What was he supposed to do without her?
• NEW! Kid Sister, by Cacophonysundae (COMPLETE!): "Sorry, Janie," he tells her. "Monique and I broke up again." "I heard." Janie doesn't bother to hide the scorn in her voice. She's pretty cool for a kid sister, but sometimes she gets into these moods where she thinks she has to be the mom and he hates it because she's good at it, and she always makes him feel like he's some unruly kid that needs to be scolded.
• NEW! One Night, by Charliefox2012 (COMPLETE!): I sigh inwardly, still drinking my soda. Really, it's just to be doing something. I know I should let it go, just move on. I mean, she has. It's like nothing ever happened, and that bothers the hell out of me. Nevertheless, I can't complain if I want to keep her by my side. I was stupid. I am stupid. I should have refused her. So she kissed me; I should have stopped her there. I didn't want to though. I wanted it. [Revised from original version on PPMB from 2009.]
  

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 44: My Three Young Women, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 4): “Dammit, Jane, sometimes I think you want me to cheat on you.” “Excuse me?” “All this talk about being around other girls, who, by the way, I haven’t even kissed them. I’m just around them. How would you feel if I came to all those gigs you take Trent to and point a shotgun in the face of every guy who flirts with you?” “They don’t flirt with me. Which is more than I can say for you.” [NOW COMPLETE! Last part here: “Finn, I’m a perfect lady. Nothing happened. Besides, I know you have a girlfriend.” “Well, that does make me feel a little better. At least I didn’t cheat on Jane.” “Well, not a perfect lady. I did manage to sneak a few peeks.” “Eep!” “You don’t need to get so mad. For what it’s worth, I was impressed.” “You’re not helping.”]
  
• NEW! The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 26): "I cannot believe this!" said Helen. It was six o'clock in the morning. Helen, Jake and Quinn were holding an impromptu discipline session. Quinn thought that she would be able to sneak in unnoticed, but when her room was checked at 5:30 am, she was immediately woken up and called down stairs to face her punishment. The smell of Quinn's breath would guarantee a contentious session. "So I'm going to ask you again, Quinn: where did you get the alcohol?" (FF.net)
• NEWESTER! A Health Unto Our Heroine! by Gwrtheyrn (COMPLETE!): [A songfic you simply have to sing!]
  
• NEW! It Ends Tonight, by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): It was on one of the western cliffs that the crowd decided to have its final parties. In particular, Miss Jennifer Burns sat on the cliff’s edge and watched the sun burn. “Yo! Burnout!” yelled her friend Angel, “You know what they say about staring at the sun. Don’t wanna go blind, do you?” “Like it matters,” yelled Jennifer back, “It’ll all be over soon enough. Besides, I’m wearing sunglasses. Hey Scarlett! Any word from Andrea?”
  
• NEW! True Art Is Angsty, by Yogi (COMPLETE!): Daria scowled at the words on the page: “Once upon a time.” ALL Fairy Tales began with that. It was so obvious, so overused, it was almost like the words lost meaning and were just what people began fairy tales with. Sure SOME people would be satisfied with that, but Daria was EIGHT. Her first story could begin with something more highbrow than THAT. (Daria/Princess Tutu)
  

SFMB

• Daria Race War, by Bliss Ticks (continued): Kevin took his dad’s truck to what he thought was the seediest section of Lawndale. Although it was closely monitored by the police, there was a liquor store here and several of the homes were for sale or had weeds growing semi-unchecked on their lawns. He had it all figured out: he would go down to the slums, buy some drugs, plant them on Mag, then report him to Ms. Li. It was foolproof. All he had to do was find a dealer.

Jake in the Winner's Circle

Today marks the annual running of The Oaks at Churchill Downs, the big race between fillies just one day before the Kentucky Derby. And, of course, Helen Morgendorffer is the filly to beat! (That was not meant to be a joke about the riding crop Jake is holding. But maybe it is.) Whew, is it getting hot in here, or is that picture smokin'?

Tonight, however, is Walpurgis Night, Europe's version of Halloween. Hence we use the Three Js as the witches from Macbeth. (Yet another Shakespeare reference!)

Thanks to Pinhead for the big images. Stay tooned, more to come later.

LATE NOTE: Just because I want to, here is a small tribute to the best horse ever born. I loved this guy. Enjoy.

Horsing Around

Today is supposed to be (according to some historians and ancient sources) the 3,194th anniversary of the day the Trojan horse entered Troy, and Troy fell. (Daria mentions the horse in "The Big House"). Interesting, this occurs just before the Kentucky Derby. Oh! And I have the perfect picture for that event, coming later!

But today is also someone's birthday. Who? You guessed it! It's Willem de Kooning's birthday! He would have been 106. You probably remember his photo under Jane's bed in The Daria Diaries. That Jane even knows who this guy is was one of the reasons I believe her IQ was in the same ballpark as Daria's, even if she wasn't any good at math. (See here for details.)

PPMB

• Correction, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane were sitting outside of the pearly gates, waiting for their meeting with St. Peter. The two twenty-year-olds had never met on the Earthly realm. Neither of them had ever left their hometowns. Daria stared down at her sandals. Jane turned to look at her. "So, why are you here?" Jane asked brushing her raven hair away from her cobalt eyes. (FF.net) (OD)
  
• Hand in the Band, by Peapotmaster (Part 1): We see the Daria opening, but instead of the Splendora theme, we hear “Sugar, Sugar” from the Archies. We cut to Daria smirking with the usual logo but with Daria wearing Jughead’s beanie. ACT ONE: “Hell Comes to Lawndale"

Ride 'Em, Jockey Jake!

Helen and Jake once again remind us that today is the day of the Kentucky Derby! Hooray!

This space will be filled with stuff later. For now, enjoy the picture.


LATE NEWS: Great Derby and Oaks races. Loved 'em.

Disco316, Brother Grimace, Dennis, Richard Lobinske, Nighthawk, and Skooma have done awesome work on DariaWiki. Join the fun! Latest page added: Splendora.

What is the population of Lawndale? This PPMB thread attempts to answer the question.

New Iron Chef: Finish the Story, Your Way!

And let's hear it once again for . . .

. . . Northern Dancer, one of the greatest race horses to ever run in the Kentucky Derby. Northern Dancer was born only 47 years ago in Ontario, Canada.

God, I love this picture.

Yeeee-haw!

Amazing what you can do with computers nowadays, isn't it?

Ahem.

On PPMB, Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: Dawn of a New Horror has some new horrors there, all right.

Lawndale Online

• Holiday Kombat, by Richard Lobinske
• Misery's End, by Richard Lobinske
• One Step Forward, by Dennis
• Saving Hope, by Richard Lobinske

PPMB

• Avalon, by legendeld (Part 19): Quinn is having a tea party. I won't say more than that.
  
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part II), by jtranser (continued): Okay, this is carrying the "arms race" entirely too far.
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): Evan does his fair share to stir the pot of chaos.

More soon.

May First, and here are the headlines. . . .

Today is May Day, a day so special that you may as well click the link to read about it, as it would take too long to rant about it here. Spring is in the air, at least in the Northern Hemisphere in this area, and soon Stacy will come out of her cocoon and be a Stacy butterfly! Just kidding. She'll still be a spineless caterpillar. Kind of a gross picture, yeah, but it's Stacy and no one really cares.

All sorts of important things happened today in history, but there's barely more than an hour left in the day and I was too busy to do anything online, so just forget it.

Tomorrow is The Oaks, which is so important a race that all the schools in town are canceled (not a joke, they really are), and the day after that is The Derby, which has a bit less class than The Oaks but is more popular and better attended. I am not going to either, because I live here and have better things to do.

More later once I think of more to say. Need something Daria-ish here. Hmmm.