"'Unto'?" "Buckle my shoe."

Happy Mother Goose Day, nursery rhyme lovers! Daria doesn't seem like the type to enjoy that kind of thing, but perhaps she'll put her own spin on the classics. I just wonder where she got that goose.

Today is also May Day, Beltane, and Walpurgis Night, which are all festivals from different parts of the world that celebrate spring. It may or may not look much like spring where you are right now--especially if you live in the Southern Hemisphere--but I'll take any excuse to celebrate!

Fanfic Update!

• Abbatoir Blues (1): The Hitman and Her, by LongSnakeMoan (part 2): "'Can I ask you a personal question Jane?' Well, that was direct. No bullshit small talk with this guy. 'Sure, ask away.' 'Why the hell are you a hooker?'"


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (part 34): "Hillary: 'So we have no other heads of state competing right?' Chiss General: Looks like he’s just remembered something. Hillary: Sighs. 'Who else?' Chiss General: 'Gar Stazi. Supreme commander of the New Republic Defence Fleet, wants to bring back a democratic republic.'"


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 37): "They walked to Trent’s car, and got in. 'You cleaned the car out?' 'Yeah. Figured it was time.' Said Trent. 'Uh huh. Jane made you do it?' Trent chuckled. 'Yeah, but I found ten dollars, so it’s all good.'"


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch2 Ye Olde Madness, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Hey guys,' Jane answered back while walking away from a booth selling ‘Authentic’ Manuscripts from the Middle Ages, 'What are you guys doing here?' 'What are you?' Ethan asked as a reply. 'I needed to get out, Trent discovered a new cord and now his band mates are playing it in an infinite loop.' At the mention of Jane’s extremely hot brother Trent Lane, Ethan started to look dreamy until remembering who he was standing next to and said some hurried words of sympathy and changed the subject." (Part 5)


• Ethan Yeager in Lawndale: Ch 3 Rise Above the Bollocks, by Shiva (parts 1 and 2): "'And so now I have to write a story with moral intentions, rather than just do a report on one I’ve already read.' Daria complained to Jane, Ethan, and Josh, while they were heading for Jane’s house. 'That’s what you get for knowing more than the teacher.' Ethan quipped." (Part 2)



• Family Reunion, by januense (part 3): "She began to panic, her heart beating as fast as a racing car engine's piston and her brain jammed. She was unable to explain his blitz, nor to figure out his intentions. Did he embrace her in a flame of passion that he can no longer hide? ... clearly her brain was on strike ... Will he try to kiss her? Her wildest dream were going to become reality? Why here? Why now? 'Why has that huge, heavy, old anvil just crashed in the same spot were I stood before?'"


• Lawndale School of Magic Part Two: Brittany's Party, by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "Daria said as they reached the school, 'It’s as I feared. He’s removed most of my runes.' 'So what will you do now?' Jane asked. 'I still have one rune that is undetectable. I just need the chance to use it,' Daria said, 'This will be tricky because I’ll only have one shot.' 'And you want me to stay outside,' Jane said. 'I need you to stay outside,' Daria said pointing towards a monster Upchuck had conjured. "


• The Mageborn Cynic : Daria & the School of Magic, by peetz5050 (COMPLETE!): "They had reached a landing at the top of the stair with a single door and a smaller narrow steep stair leading to a trapdoor in the ceiling. Quinn wormed her way past Jane so she could get in first. Daria opened the door and Quinn darted in and turned around to watch. Jane cocked a bemused eyebrow at this carry on and looked at Daria who said 'Abandon hope and all that... go on in, it's just my bedroom. Jane did so not knowing what to expect but curious because of Quinn's antics."


• Paging, Dr. Morgendorffer, by oni (COMPLETE!): "The tape recorder was on play and the voice of a teenage girl came up through it. This is what she said... 'This is Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane, and it’s currently four o’ clock outside. It’s been about a couple of minutes since we’ve taken the drug commonly referred to as LSD. My friend Jane here found it under her brother’s... Jane, what the hell are you staring at?'"


• Quinn's Code Story 6: The Lab Mouse, The Geek and the Convention, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "Daria thought. 'She may be at a friend's house. One of the other cheerleaders, for instance.' 'Do you know where the other cheerleaders live?' Jane asked Jennifer. 'Why would I know?' Jennifer responded. 'I do,' Mack said. 'Of course you do,' Jane said."



• Rude Awakening Ep.10: Sandi vs The EPT , by DIsaac (part 8): "LINDA: So you couldn't handle the pressure? SANDI: I could handle the pressure just fine...I just wanted something that is more challenging, Mother. LINDA: I taught you screw over everybody and screw the consequences. SANDI: Gee I wonder how that turned out. Dad is in jail for insider trading, All of us kids avoiding you like the plague and You still being miserable which you are totally unbearable as usual."


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 16, by Fhujeth_x (part 3): "Something was definitely wrong. She just knew it. Stacy and Tiffany were acting overly nice for some reason and they seemed to know something strange that she didn't know. 'About the other day...' She blurted out uncharacteristically but unsure of how to do it any other way, 'I...' 'Don't worry!' Stacy reassured as Tiffany spaced out completely on her make-up, 'Uhm, I hope. I mean, it's not like we're going to tell anyone you hear voices in your head...'"


• TDJS Ch. 2 Interlude, by ST91 (part 1): "'Dammit Dario why did you come out wearing just that towel?' 'Because my robe is still in the washing machine.' 'Shut up. Do you realize how bad an impression I made because of you?' 'Oh come on Quinn. It's not as if I was naked.' 'It makes no difference. Sandi and the other were eating you with their eyes.'"


• WaM, Ma'ams, Dark Paladin, by DeacBlue (part 4): "'And that's the smallest part of what this thing can do, almost a throwaway, minor power. This allows you to visit other universes, as well. Not just stars, but universes. You can go where the physical constants are different, where different choices were made...my head hurts.' She ran her fingers through her hair. Everyone started when Daria scraped her chair back. 'We're going to have to do some research,' she said, resting her hands on the table. 'I need all of the books, except mine, so that I can get copies made. We all need to be up to speed on this.'"


• What Did You Do During The War, Daria?, by echopapa (part 3): "'I can't go home,' Daria said. 'My parents and Quinn will be safer with me not around. I'll call Dad and tell him I'm going to your house.' 'But why are they looking for you?' Jane asked. 'I think that they are looking for all superheroes, anyone that might stand in the way of – whatever they're up to.' Daria created a tablet and used it to access the news sites. 'See? Reports of Hawkmen attacks in New York, Coast City, Central City, Gotham, Fawcett City, Seattle. Any city or town known to be the home of a superhero.'"

It's Kind of Complicated

Welcome to May Day, the spring festival day that celebrates pretty much everything. In the U.S. this is also Law Day (with a nod to Helen Morgendorffer), Loyalty Day (with a nod to Ms. Angela Li), Join Hands Day (fraternal groups helping society), Lei Day (Hawaii only, not in Bermuda as Sandi Griffin thinks), and In the Heart of the Beast (Minneapolis giant puppet show).

Worldwide it is also Beltane (or Samhain across the uninhabited southern zones of the planet), International Workers' Day (what it sounds like), EuroMayDay (like May Day, except not), the founding day of the Illuminati, the optional feast day of St. Joseph (patron saint of workers and fathers), the 203rd anniversary of the abolition of the slave trade in the British Empire, the 170th anniversary of the first adhesive postal stamp (YES!), and the 158th birthday anniversary of Calamity Jane (who is mentioned here only because her name was Jane, like Jane Lane, who was far more interesting).

It is also the day when, 18 years ago, Rodney King made his famous appeal for calm during the 1992 riots in Los Angeles. Whatever other faults he may have, Mr. King did a great thing at that moment, and it is worth reflecting on that. Thank you, Mr. King.

AND... because it is the first Saturday in May, it is Derby Day (what is likely to be a very muddy Run for the Roses) and more importantly Free Comic Book Day! Get yer butt down to your local comic book store and get one while supplies last!

Whew. Go thou and party.

FF.net

• NEW! The Fate of the Duels, by A440 (Part 2): Once safe in room 403 on the fourth level of the motel, Brittany looked over the interior, which was white and pink plaster with a clean white deep carpet, a decent bed with red sheets, a high-def TV on the wall, and a equally clean red-tiled bathroom with a pull-up window shade over the toilet. From there, the blonde turned on the TV and tuned to ABC Nightline, then unwrapped her bundle, revealing two five-foot-long katana-type samurai swords in their sheaths, gold armor on the swords, and a black pearl finish on the scabbards; those she carefully placed in the closet.
• NEW! Flight, by Bear-Bell (Parts 1 and 2): Trent wondered what had happened. He wasn't exactly content with his lot in life, and he'd always had a generally negative outlook of the world, but this feeling of dissatisfaction had never been so acutely understood before. Janie's gone, he immediately thought. What was he supposed to do without her?
• NEW! Kid Sister, by Cacophonysundae (COMPLETE!): "Sorry, Janie," he tells her. "Monique and I broke up again." "I heard." Janie doesn't bother to hide the scorn in her voice. She's pretty cool for a kid sister, but sometimes she gets into these moods where she thinks she has to be the mom and he hates it because she's good at it, and she always makes him feel like he's some unruly kid that needs to be scolded.
• NEW! One Night, by Charliefox2012 (COMPLETE!): I sigh inwardly, still drinking my soda. Really, it's just to be doing something. I know I should let it go, just move on. I mean, she has. It's like nothing ever happened, and that bothers the hell out of me. Nevertheless, I can't complain if I want to keep her by my side. I was stupid. I am stupid. I should have refused her. So she kissed me; I should have stopped her there. I didn't want to though. I wanted it. [Revised from original version on PPMB from 2009.]
  

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 44: My Three Young Women, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 4): “Dammit, Jane, sometimes I think you want me to cheat on you.” “Excuse me?” “All this talk about being around other girls, who, by the way, I haven’t even kissed them. I’m just around them. How would you feel if I came to all those gigs you take Trent to and point a shotgun in the face of every guy who flirts with you?” “They don’t flirt with me. Which is more than I can say for you.” [NOW COMPLETE! Last part here: “Finn, I’m a perfect lady. Nothing happened. Besides, I know you have a girlfriend.” “Well, that does make me feel a little better. At least I didn’t cheat on Jane.” “Well, not a perfect lady. I did manage to sneak a few peeks.” “Eep!” “You don’t need to get so mad. For what it’s worth, I was impressed.” “You’re not helping.”]
  
• NEW! The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 26): "I cannot believe this!" said Helen. It was six o'clock in the morning. Helen, Jake and Quinn were holding an impromptu discipline session. Quinn thought that she would be able to sneak in unnoticed, but when her room was checked at 5:30 am, she was immediately woken up and called down stairs to face her punishment. The smell of Quinn's breath would guarantee a contentious session. "So I'm going to ask you again, Quinn: where did you get the alcohol?" (FF.net)
• NEWESTER! A Health Unto Our Heroine! by Gwrtheyrn (COMPLETE!): [A songfic you simply have to sing!]
  
• NEW! It Ends Tonight, by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): It was on one of the western cliffs that the crowd decided to have its final parties. In particular, Miss Jennifer Burns sat on the cliff’s edge and watched the sun burn. “Yo! Burnout!” yelled her friend Angel, “You know what they say about staring at the sun. Don’t wanna go blind, do you?” “Like it matters,” yelled Jennifer back, “It’ll all be over soon enough. Besides, I’m wearing sunglasses. Hey Scarlett! Any word from Andrea?”
  
• NEW! True Art Is Angsty, by Yogi (COMPLETE!): Daria scowled at the words on the page: “Once upon a time.” ALL Fairy Tales began with that. It was so obvious, so overused, it was almost like the words lost meaning and were just what people began fairy tales with. Sure SOME people would be satisfied with that, but Daria was EIGHT. Her first story could begin with something more highbrow than THAT. (Daria/Princess Tutu)
  

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• Daria Race War, by Bliss Ticks (continued): Kevin took his dad’s truck to what he thought was the seediest section of Lawndale. Although it was closely monitored by the police, there was a liquor store here and several of the homes were for sale or had weeds growing semi-unchecked on their lawns. He had it all figured out: he would go down to the slums, buy some drugs, plant them on Mag, then report him to Ms. Li. It was foolproof. All he had to do was find a dealer.

May Day! May Day!

It's May 1st, May Day, on which so many holidays are celebrated that only one link will be given to them to save space. Daria appears in a show of solidarity with the oppressed laborers of the world yearning to throw off the yoke of warmongering imperialism and go back to bed for more sleep.

PPMB

• Am I Being Served? by Ajar (Part 3): "Look, there's someone half-amphora, half-man."
• Once Upon a Time in Lawndale, by Disco316 (Part 11): Tom held up his glass and toasted the red-haired woman. “Well, here's to you. Congratulations.” He swallowed the contents of his glass. “You got yourself a good deal.” The red-haired woman smiled when she realized what Tom had meant. “Oh, that auction thing. Forget it. Investing in land is so Pre-War of Northern Aggression.”
• Things Fall Apart, by Doggieboy (Part 13): Martin Peters was shown into the Russian consul’s office rather promptly, accompanied by Dr. Karin Nilsdotter and Tatyana Petrova. Tatyana handled the introductions. She motioned to the consul and said to Martin, “This is Vladimir Gregoryev, the Russian government representative assigned to Svarlbard.” Then to the Russian, she said, “This is Martin Peters, a...‘Ringbearer’, who says that he has been assigned to help us with the dead situation.”
• Two Halves, by Dark Kuno (teaser for Part 4): “So, you guys hear about the break-in at .Com last night?” Jane asked after they had walked for a few minutes in amiable silence.

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• The Brain and the Beauty Redux, by Ronin, edited by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Daria’s eyes finally teared up. “She was worth it. The passion, the knowledge, the betrayal; she was worth every damn minute of it.” She collapsed against Jane’s chest as emotion overtook her. Wow, Jane has nice boobs, she thought as she wept.
  

May First, and here are the headlines. . . .

Today is May Day, a day so special that you may as well click the link to read about it, as it would take too long to rant about it here. Spring is in the air, at least in the Northern Hemisphere in this area, and soon Stacy will come out of her cocoon and be a Stacy butterfly! Just kidding. She'll still be a spineless caterpillar. Kind of a gross picture, yeah, but it's Stacy and no one really cares.

All sorts of important things happened today in history, but there's barely more than an hour left in the day and I was too busy to do anything online, so just forget it.

Tomorrow is The Oaks, which is so important a race that all the schools in town are canceled (not a joke, they really are), and the day after that is The Derby, which has a bit less class than The Oaks but is more popular and better attended. I am not going to either, because I live here and have better things to do.

More later once I think of more to say. Need something Daria-ish here. Hmmm.