Now, That's a Lot of Spam!

Here we see Quinn giving her laptop a puzzled look. That is because today is the third anniversary of the biggest sending of infected e-mail in history, thanks to the Storm botnet, a network of remotely controlled zombie computers created by the Storm Worm. About 57 million e-mails went flying that day. The huge size of the Storm botnet was surpassed (probably) by the following year's Kraken botnet. How wonderful can the Internet be?

We also wish writer Ray Bradbury a happy 90th birthday. He wrote the first SF book to be carried aboard a manned space station (The Martian Chronicles, aboard Skylab).

PPMB

• Daria/Dorian 7: Motorcycles and Jocks Don't Mix, by LadieT (Part 2): Coach Smith approached Dorian. "Ms. Li had a point. We need one more player and I wouldn't have to worry about you academically. I will try my best not to put you in any of the games unless it's absolutely necessary. Today during gym we'll try to figure out what position would suit you best." "Okay... Can I quit once Kevin is back on the team?" "Yes, unless you decide to stay on." Coach Smith walked away. Jane gave Dorian a sympathetic look. Then an evil grin came over her face. "I guess that means I'm dating a jock. So can I drive you crazy like you did me when I was on the track team?"
• Finn Morgendorffer 56: A Journey to Eternity, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 5): “Hey, Daria.” Henry had called Daria on a Tuesday, and Daria wasn’t sure whether or not she was grateful to hear from him. If he came to down, he could be seen. Seen by Mom or someone else. And she’d insist on meeting him. Mountains of bad ideas coursed through her head as to what could happen. Henry was polite around Miranda and Mark, but they didn’t ask probing questions, they just wanted to see he exists, for the most part. Mom would be different. Mom wanted to know everything. Hell, she went so in-depth she might try for blood samples.
• friends (more than) series: tutor, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "There she is!" the older woman fairly squealed. "My little girl, all ready to get those last few grades up so she can graduate next year!" Ted suppressed a frown. He had seen Tiffany's grades from her previous attempt to graduate, and "last few" was a serious understatement. Out loud he said, "Thank you, Mrs. Blum-Deckler. Do you mind if we use the kitchen for our lessons?" She released Tiffany and pointed down the hallway. "Oh, of course not! It's that way, second door on your left." (NEW! FF.net)
  
• God Save the Esteem 2: Fight for Your Invite to Party, by Charles RB (Part 3): From across the way, there was a loud commotion. Daria sighed as the source of the disturbance become clear: the Maleficent Eleven had turned up, scowling and aggressively wearing dark colors and some chugging beer. “Wonder how they got past Brittany at the door?” asked Jane. “It’s Brittany. They showed her something shiny.” “You know ‘Killer’ Quinn and her posse?” asked Tom. “I’m related to her. I remember when she was Kick-Butt Quinn at age 6. She had the most adorable tiny Mohawk.” Pat Seven was staring at the loud gang with bemusement. “They’re a rather whimsical lot, aren’t they?”
• In Any Other World, by Charles RB (Parts 2 to 4): “So... like, what do you like to do after school?” “Oh, nothing special. Go to the movies... or, like, a theme park... or out for a really fancy meal now and then... or maybe go to a concert, if, like, I know somebody's got good seats and is renting a limo and stuff.” She had the patter down and she knew she had the looks: every boy would be after her. Every girl would want to be her. Things would be great. Except... “So, you've got any brothers or sisters?” (Part 3) (Part 4)
• Jane Morgendorffer, by LadieT (Part 1): Helen called up from the kitchen. "Jane, Quinn... time to get up. It's the first day of school. You don't want to be late." Helen and Jake laughed as they heard a flurry of activity from the rooms above. Quinn came bounding downstairs first, eager to show off her new pink sneakers and t-shirt. Jane arrived a few minutes later wearing a red shirt and black shorts. In one hand was her backpack, the other her favorite book, Black Beauty. After finishing breakfast, Jane and Quinn hugged their mom before following their dad out the door. (preview)
• Kolchak: The Lawndale File, by Chris Tucker (continued): Harrison opined that the killer, looking to stash the body, figured my car was an abandoned junker. If it was towed, so much the better. It would be in the impound lot for a few days. I don't know what angered me more. That I was without wheels for the foreseeable future, or that the killer thought my Mustang was an abandoned piece of junk. As I was leaving the station, the desk sergeant called me over. He handed me a note from the Morgendorffer girl's mother. Helen Morgendorffer would like to speak to me at my earliest convenience. Swell.
• The Lane That Wasn't, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Follow me." The old man led Jane to the crossroad of both paths. He turned her away from the crater and the mountain. Another opening began to form in the road. Stretching his arm out towards it, he stared at Jane. "All you have to do is what you love doing... run. Just like before, the descent takes less than a second." Nodding her head in understanding, Jane extended her hand. "I guess I should be saying thank you or thanking whoever brought you to me. I know you said you only come once and that is only when you are called. So I guess this is goodbye." The old man shook his head.
• NEW! Legacy, by Getrealordie187 (Parts 6a and 6b): "I don't know what's the matter with you lately. You act like you're not excited to see your sister at all. Sisterhood is a very important bond, Quinn, and I want you to try to form one with Daria the moment we arrive. This is not a suggestion." "When's the last time you talked to Aunt Rita?" "Rita! Don't get me started on her. All the times she gloats and rubs in my face that mother..." Quinn looks out the window and ignores her mother's droning. (Part 6b)
  
• Masochist's Memories, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): [A new view of The Daria Diaries' trip down memory lane.]
• NEWEST! MST version of OverlordMikey's "A Get Well Gift" and TAG's "Pause in the Air," by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Instead of the usual movie milieu, we're going to be delving once again into the wonderful world of Daria fan fiction, straight from the deepest, darkest depths of the internet and beamed directly into your unsuspecting peepers through advanced projected-light-on-white-screen technology...."
• NEWEST! Pulp Fiction: Future History, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Stand by! Target acquisition window opens in 10 seconds from MARK!" "Target acquired. Target in range. Activate intrinsic velocity neutralizer. Target seized and stabilized." "We're on the clock, boys and girls! Here we go..." "Can Opener - GO!" "Container breached. Inner container open!" "Dog Catcher - GO!" "Subject retrieved!" "Puppet Master - GO!" "Simulator installed." "Can Opener - GO!"
  
• Shower, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Daria looked up as Jane drifted through the door of Daria's bedroom, towel around her neck and dreamy smile on her lips. Without a word, Jane dropped to her knees on the carpet and climbed into her sleeping bag. "M'night..." she sighed. Daria smirked. "Good shower?" There was only a snore for reply. Rolling her eyes, Daria went back to her book. Then...
  
• Unnamed story (John Lane 47: Another Look in the Mirror), by Malakite (COMPLETE!): "Authorities are saying tonight that they believe they have finally found the killer in the infamous Inna Gadda Da Vidda slayings some 25 years ago. Police say this boy is the so-called Hippie Ripper, who in 1969 killed 16 hippies who were living in a van. Asked how a 15-year-old boy could have committed a crime that happened more than two decades ago, police spokesmen explained, quote, 'He's very clever.' "
• Unnamed story (Kolchak: The Lawndale File), by McKeon (COMPLETE!): "Damn it, Helen! I lost another client!" Jake exclaimed.
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: Ouch Time), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): The underground blockhouse shook as the earth trembled. "T-130. 15 megaton yield. 20-25 klicks out, just about true north." "They're zeroing in on us." "What do mean 'us' white girl? They're after you, Morgendorffer!"
• NEWEST! What could have happened if Legacy!Daria had gotten along with Trent? by Getrealordie187 (COMPLETE!): "You've got to be out of your mind. I'm not doing it. No way, no how." Tom's face is mutinous where he sits on the couch next to his friend. Trent looks between the both of them rapidly from where he lays on the floor as his face continues to blush. Daria's face is pleading. "Come on Tom, it'd be so hot. Just this once and I'll never ask again. Consider it an early birthday present."
• NEWEST! Worldhopper Worldburner, by Erin M. (preview): "Tell me something I don't know, Dr. Science!"
  

Horsing Around

Today is supposed to be (according to some historians and ancient sources) the 3,194th anniversary of the day the Trojan horse entered Troy, and Troy fell. (Daria mentions the horse in "The Big House"). Interesting, this occurs just before the Kentucky Derby. Oh! And I have the perfect picture for that event, coming later!

But today is also someone's birthday. Who? You guessed it! It's Willem de Kooning's birthday! He would have been 106. You probably remember his photo under Jane's bed in The Daria Diaries. That Jane even knows who this guy is was one of the reasons I believe her IQ was in the same ballpark as Daria's, even if she wasn't any good at math. (See here for details.)

PPMB

• Correction, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane were sitting outside of the pearly gates, waiting for their meeting with St. Peter. The two twenty-year-olds had never met on the Earthly realm. Neither of them had ever left their hometowns. Daria stared down at her sandals. Jane turned to look at her. "So, why are you here?" Jane asked brushing her raven hair away from her cobalt eyes. (FF.net) (OD)
  
• Hand in the Band, by Peapotmaster (Part 1): We see the Daria opening, but instead of the Splendora theme, we hear “Sugar, Sugar” from the Archies. We cut to Daria smirking with the usual logo but with Daria wearing Jughead’s beanie. ACT ONE: “Hell Comes to Lawndale"

A Day for Great Books

Two great and long-lived works of literature are connected with this day. Today is the day that Odysseus supposedly arrives home in Ithaca after the Trojan War, 3,188 years ago, as calculated by an astronomer a few years ago. Homer recorded the story in The Odyssey. Daria at left holds another work in which Odysseus was mentioned, Homer's Iliad (as seen in "The Big House").

This is also the day, 623 years ago, when Geoffrey Chaucer's Canterbury Tales supposedly takes place, going by time-related clues left in the manuscript. (An editor figured it out.) Jeffy at right holds a copy of The Canterbury Tales as he tries (and fails) to enact the part of Palamon (as seen in "Fair Enough").

Daria would celebrate the day by reading. Perhaps imitation of her would be wise.

Happy Birthday, Library of Congress

Two hundred eight years ago today, the Library of Congress was established by President Adams. The original library was destroyed during the War of 1812, but it was restored when President Jefferson sold his enormous personal library to the government as a replacement. This is probably where Amy Barksdale does her research for the CIA, though she would have better spent her time researching the drawbacks of boob reduction. Too late now.

Today is also supposed to be the 3,193rd anniversary of the day the Trojan horse entered Troy (heh heh heh I said entered heh heh heh), and it is also Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day, which I am sure Daria and Quinn worked very hard every year to avoid unless the alternative (school) was too dreadful. Did any of the students in Daria want to be with their parents at work? Well, Kevin, maybe. ("I'll be out back practicing football throws!")

Actually, a fanfic about Helen and Jake taking the girls (one each) to their jobs for a day would be pretty damn funny. Anyone want to try this?