Just Don't Call Him Kevin Daddy!

Mack shouldn't look so sad; today is his (okay, actually Kevin Daniels's) birthday! Daniels voiced Mack during the third season, one of four voice actors to portray the character. Maybe even pretending to put up with Kevin's antics was too much for any one actor to deal with.

Today is also the anniversary of Emmett Kelly's birth in 1898. Kelly is most known for his "Weary Willie" persona, recognizable for the sad face. It's quite possible that the crying clowns Tom and Daria saw at Art in the Park in "Art Burn" were at least based on Kelly.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the recent London Underground station terrorist attack.


• Erin M. spotted Daria and Jane in an Archie comic.

Have a Good One, Mack Daddy!

Happy birthday to Kevin Daniels, born on this day in 1976. Daniels was not the voice of Kevin, but instead Mack Mackenzie during Season 3.

Fandom News!

• What will be your New Year's resolutions for next year?


• PrecambrianStudios wants to know what you think of these character impressions.


• BloodyWilliam shares a webcomic: Ugly Girl.


• Watch the trailer for Star Trek Into Darkness and discuss the upcoming movie.

Happy Birthday, Mack Daddy!

Happy birthday to Kevin Daniels, born on this day in 1976! Daniels was the second of three voice actors to play Mack on Daria, spanning all of the third season appearances of the character. I bet Mack himself wished he could trade off with two other people in dealing with Kevin.

Fanfic Update!

• God Save The Esteem ep 38: Highland Lassie, by Charles RB (part 2): "Trent opened the door and looked at Amy Barksdale. 'Whoa. You look different without your jacket, Daria.' 'Daria? I thought you were out until mblblbbl hi'"


• Jane Morgendorffer 2: The Middle School Years, by LadieT (part 5): "'Thanks Quinn, I really needed this. I know you aren't having a good time - ' Jane was stopped in mid sentence by Quinn. 'That's not true, I miss spending time with just you. You're my big sister. I love Daria and Trent, but you come first. You go shopping with me and I know how much you hate that, so it's only fair that I should go running with you sometimes. Besides, I know you've been feeling a little lonely since Daria's been hanging out with Danny. I just wanted to remind you, that well I'm here for you.'"


• Life After Highland Ch. 2: 3 of Swords, by LadieT (part 1): "Jane was stunned at how similar in appearance Daria and Amy were. It sunk into Jane's mind that if the drinking water in Highland hadn't stunted Daria's growth, she would almost be a mirror image of her aunt. Hell, if I didn't know better, I would have thought that Amy was Daria's mom instead of Helen."


• Mission: Unfashionable, by JPAGC (part 2a): "At the urge of a motion and look by Jodie, Quinn also joined the group. The other young men and women looked at one another in the sudden quiet Hall. Quinn looked around: all the other, veteran, students were all quickly scurrying away, keeping quiet and clearly avoiding looking in the Principal’s direction. 'Miss Landon, are all the new students here?' asked the Principal. 'Yes, Miss Li,' said Jodie in a quiet voice."


• Parallel Universes Mystery (Non-Daria), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Chris opened the door of the Interdimensional Time machine onto a lot of confusion... 'This is a problem,' Jess said, as she looked out. 'I agree,' Chris said. 'Hello, you received our interdimensional message?' someone said. 'Yes,' Chris and Jess said together 'Then come with me,' she said."


• A QB Grows in Lawndale, by Kristen Bealer (part 12): "He turned another corner and looked at the patterns made by the streetlights filtering through the trees as he thought about Link. Why do I even want to pick another fight with Dad? It's not like I'm even sure I wanna do this, anyway. It'd be like I'm making a big deal about something I don't even want. Or at least I think I don't hey is that Daria?"


• A Rather Interesting Way To Go (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "'So who the poor unimportant sap that kicked the bucket this time? Said Jane Lane, One part of the mortician team that would work to make Tom look good for the show. 'That poor bastard is Tom' said Daria who is the other half of the team."


• They Don't Cry (Iron Chef: Crazy Pairing Story!), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "'Mmm, Jeff?' Dawn cooed, hoping maybe tonight would be the night things would change. He was in such a good mood tonight. Maybe he'd be up for it. 'Wuzzat, Beautiful?' The muscular young man grunted, not moving from his embrace of his lover's plush body. 'You know there's that school dance coming up?' Dawn said, casually. 'Yeah, so?' Jeffy's tone wasn't at all encouraging."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane in your Home Town), by neonhomer (COMPLETE!): "I was heading home from a jobsite, when I spotted a car on the side of the road, with out of state plates, with its four-way flashers on. I slowed down, and pulled over. A girl wearing a red jacket gets out of the driver's seat. 'Yall need help?' I ask as I walk up."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Old Daria.), by RX-87 (COMPLETE!): "When Daria could take no more of the over-endowed blond bimbo sitting in the chair next to her bed mangling The Aeneid with her squeaky voice (she was the granddaughter of an old classmate, wasn't she? What was her name? Damn senility...), Daria called out to a nearby nurse."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Last Friday Night!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Mack shook his head. 'What he hell's up with Upchuck and your mom, anyway?' 'Well, he saw her in that really skimpy elf-outfit she wore for her Christmas card a few years back-' Jane's laugh warmed the room. 'The one she'd done as a little gag gift for your dad?' Tom joined in on her laughter. 'The one the printers mistook for their cards to be sent out to everyone on their Christmas card list.'"

Write Where It Perverts

"Write Where It Hurts" closed out the second season of Daria 12 years ago today, with various crossovers (The Graduate, at left) and curiosities (at right) in Daria's writing. Daria got to make her mother cry (in a good way) and all was right with the world. Daria was still triumphant.

The contents of this episode have been the subject of many a fanfic. That card game played in the fictional future was in some form featured here and here and here and here and (dang, cannot find that one other story, sorry).

N000Z!

• OverlordMikey drew fan art for "The Lane That Wasn't": The Lane That Wasn't—Symbolism. Excellent.
• Not to be outdone, Minx drew strip poker fan art and entered legend.

PPMB

• NEW! 50 Minutes a Week, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Daria, hello! Come in, have a seat. You're putting on some weight. Very good." "Yeah, another two pounds or so. The old metabolism is really working out on all that frozen lasagna." Her tone of voice and look of mild revulsion gave the lie to her faintly enthusiastic words. "There are times I miss my feeding tube." "Yes. Yes, I can imagine. So, given any more thought to what we talked about last week?"
• NEWER! At the Fics with Jane and Daria, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Hello, and welcome to another edition of 'At The Fics with Jane and Daria'. We're your hosts, Jane Lane and Daria Morgendorffer." "Why is it always 'Jane and Daria'? It was MY show, I was the star, it was named after me!" "It's because 'Jane and Daria' just sounds better than 'Daria and Jane'. It's the whole 'a after a' thing. DariA And Jane. It doesn't flow." "Says who?" "Shhhh. Here's 10 bucks. Drop it, OK?"
  
• The Ballad of Daria and Stacy, by Charles RB et al. (continued): Stacy had a plan. It was foolproof. It would work. She was just going to not go to the self esteem class and pretend to Sandi that she no longer had to. It would work. It would work. She was going to do it RIGHT NOW.
• Helen Wheels, by Smileyfax (Part 1): "It all boils down to trust," Daria summed up. "Exactly. It all boils down to trust. Show a little trust." "Mom... Dad... you're right." One heartbeat... two heartbeats... "Can I borrow either car?" "No," Jake uttered instantly, bent over his lasagna. Helen, however, paused for a moment. "Sure, Daria," she said, reaching into her pocket. "Here you go!" She placed the keys to her SUV next to Daria's plate. "Eep!" The sound escaped from Daria's larynx unbidden. "Uh... I mean... thanks, Mom, but I meant... uh... after dinner." (FF.net)
• Jane Lane: Ace Attorney, by LSauchelli (Part 4): They watched as Daria and Gumshoe entered the school through the front door. What was the prosecutor doing there anyway? Didn’t she have the case entirely solved in the first trial? Jane didn’t want to meet her during the investigation, it felt like a very bad idea. She turned her attention back to Upchuck, who was now approaching Daria’s car with a predatory look on his face. “Hey, wait!” Jane shouted. “Don’t touch it!”
• Legacy, by Getrealordie187 (Interlude 1): While she hadn't believed in Helen and Jake's decision to send Daria to Virginia, Evelyn Barksdale would have been a fool to pass up the golden opportunity that was her granddaughter's proximity to where she lived. And while she was many things, Evelyn Barksdale was not a fool. Within a month of Daria's arrival to Buxton Ridge, she'd driven down to let her know that she was welcome in her home at anytime. The loneliness and desolation on the poor girl's face had done much to convince her she had made the right decision. That was the day she had decided that her family's wealth and the expectations that came with it would fall on Daria's shoulders.
• Pulp Fiction: Africa, by Chris Tucker (continued): She had walked for two days to get here. Two days and two nights. No water for most of today. Two days and two nights alone in semi desert. Walking towards some small chance of hope for her beloved older sister...
• Sleepwalker, by Jim North (continued): It was a trick, it had to be. Unpopular kids like that weird art chick were always trying to get attention somehow. And Stacy had probably joined her just because she was miffed about being subtly pushed out of the Fashion Club. Mr. DeMartino was a little harder to figure out, but teachers were always going on about helping people and broadening horizons and not putting others down and other such nonsense, so his involvement could have been part of some kind of outreach program for unpopular students. They just wanted to make the popular kids look like gullible idiots or something, Sandi was sure of it. Quinn and the others might have been fooled, but Sandi wasn't. She was inside her room, safe, where nothing and no one could get at her, not even her traitorous former friends.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Military School), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "So this is hell," she thought to herself. Buxton Ridge Military Academy had welcomed a legacy into its incoming corps of cadets. That day had been hectic, irritating and stupid. GO here, get this, take it back and get it stamped, you stupid good for nothing PLEBE! The only good thing is that she was out of Highland. Sixteen years in that pest hole had been enough. Finally, her room assignment came through. She grabbed her things from holding and trudged across the campus to the woman's dorm. "Let me PLEASE get a decent bunk mate, someone smart, someone clever, someone with a brain! (Daria/The Phil Silvers Show)
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guys and Guys), by Breitasparrow (Part 2): The doorbell rang three times before Trent finally stumbled to open the door. "Hey," he said. "Are you alright?" Tom asked. "You seem kinda, I dunno, drunk." "The band had another fight. We're not really getting anywhere. I think we might be on the verge of breaking up... Uh, come on in."
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Guys and Guys), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): Mack sees Jane talking to Daria in the hallway. As they are about to turn into Mr. DeMartino's class, Mack approaches them. "Hey, Jane. I have something to tell you." Jane looks at him. She could tell something was weighing heavy on his mind. "What's wrong, Mack?"
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Real Esteem), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): Jane Lane, clad in black PVC tank top, leggings and handheld BFG appeared behind the unsuspecting Dalek. "Esteem THIS!" "Whoa!" exclaimed Kevin as the smoldering wreck of the Dalek collapsed to the floor. As he rose from his seat, he stepped on the hem of his ankle-length black trench coat and slammed headfirst into the wall, falling unconscious to the floor, in much the same manner as the late Dalek. All that Daria could do was perform the classic Picardian Facepalm maneuver.
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Real Esteem), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "The school psychologist tells me that all of you have self-esteem problems," the man in the multi-colored coat said. "Well tish-tosh! Low self-esteem merely means you haven't yet figured out just how incredibly brilliant you are and how gobsmacking idiotic everyone else in the universe is!" "Y'know, I kinda liked the celery guy we had last week better," Jane groused.
• Unnamed story (Judith Strikes! Closing Ceremony), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): The home, for a home it was, despite being hewn out of the living rock, was a warm and comfortable place. A cheery fire burned in the grate, giving both light and heat to the small, cluttered living room. Jack sat in his armchair with his feet propped up and his heavy iron boots resting nearby, engaged in working a Rubik's Cube. His daughter sat on on the floor nearby, singing quietly as she knitted the song into a new hat for herself. The girl's singing faltered, and her needles slowed to a stop as she glanced around apprehensively. "What... what was that, father?" The redcap grimaced and slowly rose to his feet. "Bad, that's what it is. Go get my sword." (Daria/Batman)
  
• Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): Daria stood in her stiff, pseudo-military uniform, hands clasped behind her back, and watched through the huge observation port of the Highliner as the comparatively tiny transport vessels containing everything and everyone she had ever known were carefully shepherded aboard. She frowned to herself as she contemplated the political, and possibly military, repercussions of her family's move. But, her father had his orders from the Emperor and one didn't argue with His Imperial Majesty... at least, not for long. (Daria/Dune)
  
• The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser (continued): Once again, Daria found herself waiting at the unlit transit stop for the Estragon Avenue bus. A slowly spreading dark grey murk suffused the area, erasing all the details save the engine noises of passing cars with weak fog lights and frightened drivers. Otherwise, all was silent. Her fatigue induced reverie was shattered by the distant sound of a familiar arrogant voice projected from a very great distance, amplified by the peculiar acoustic properties of an intervening brick fence...
• The Worst Thing, by Yogi (COMPLETE!): “Well, I suppose things could be worse.” When Angier Sloan said those words seven long months ago, only the three pairs of female eyes glaring at him with enough force to crack cement stopped Tom from scoffing. Tautological Meaningless Dross, he had called it in his head. Technically things could always be worse, that goes without saying. We could all be infected with a flesh-eating virus that attacks the genitals first. The government didn't decide to test a new secret weapon on Lawndale so, hey, that's a plus, too. Why, we should count ourselves lucky we’re not stranded in outer space! Or smashed to pieces in an car accident!
  

A Very Strange Birthday Present for Jane

"Pierce Me" turns 12 today, it being that many years since the popular Daria episode premiered on MTV. A previous post here lionized the episode and some of the good things in it, so I'll leave it at that. Break out your DVDs and enjoy the ep. That look of romantic longing on Daria's face when she's staring up at Trent... wow. That WTF? look on Jane's face when she first sees Daria's piercing... priceless.

Today is National Sleepy Head Day, plus being a critical date in a Daria fanfic and the birthday of the woman who sang Jane Lane's favorite song of all time. The immortal Bugs Bunny turns 70 today, too.

"Little Shop of Horrors" opened off-Broadway in NYC 28 years ago today. The play is crossed over only once in all Daria fanfiction, but it was a very fine job indeed.

NO0OZ!

• Breitasparrow has unleashed two mind-blowing crossover artworks using Daria characters and 1960s modern-fantasy TV sitcoms. Go, thou, and be amazed!

PPMB

• Bedside Consultation II, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "So, Daria, how does it feel to be going home?" "Words do not exist!" "Hah! Yeah, I bet. Your father will be here in about an hour, traffic willing. We're going to miss you, but we're damned happy to see you leave." "Yeah, about that. I... this isn't easy for me. Look, I want to apologize for all the grief I caused you and everyone else." "Oh, and what 'grief' might this be, then?" "Come on! You know. The tantrums, the swearing, the cursing, God, the throwing stuff around."
• A Clockwork Sandi, by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): Sandi Griffin sat with her droogs at their usual place at the Korova Milk Bar. Each of them held a non-fat Soy milk, laced with Vellocet, to sharpen them all up for some of the old ultraviolence.... (Daria/A Clockwork Orange)
• Daria/Dorian 5: Mountain of Truth, by LadieT (Part 6): Jane opened her eyes in shock when she felt Dorian's lips press against hers. She started to resist, then began to return the kiss in full. After their lips broke apart, her blue eyes fixed on his face. Jane's breath began to fog up Dorian's glasses. She lifted them off of his face as their lips met again. After the second kiss, Dorian said four words that made time stand still. "I love you too."
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 54: On the Outside of Love, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 4): Stacy knocked on Finn’s door and was very grateful to see him at home. “Hey!” Finn cheered, and gave Stacy a firm hug. “Finn! Hello!” Stacy responded with her cheer. Anything to stall the bad news for just a few moments. She did not relish what it was she was about to do, but Finn had to know.
• Judith Strikes! Symbiosis, by Silver (COMPLETE!): No alarms. Barely any noise. Judith hit the ground as softly as she could manage. “No guards. Given the way this world works, they're probably stoned off their asses.” She straightened, brushing her crimson cloak off in an almost vain gesture. She smirked, remembering the looks of its creators before she'd taken it. And, for that matter, taken their lives. She forced her mind back to the task at hand. Her eyes fell on the book, one of several in the museum's exhibit. A book, salvaged from the ruins of Miskatonic University's prestigious Orne Library.

• Kolchak: The Lawndale File, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "You've been reassigned by the head office. You're going to Maryland. Some podunk suburb." Tony looked through the mess of papers on his desk like a bloodhound after a baloney sandwich. Which reminds me, I haven't had lunch yet. "Ah! Here it is. Lawndale, Maryland. A little town where nothing ever happens. The head office is sending you to Siberia, Kolchak. No more of your damn fool monster of the week stories. They're fed up with your little fantasies." (Daria/Kolchak: The Night Stalker)
• The Lanes Get to Do Some Cussing, or, Writer's Block Comix, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 1): "I have a collect call for Jane from the Spiral, in Walla Walla, Washington; will you accept charges?" "Yes," she agreed, instantly. "Janey, I need you to wire us five hundred bucks." Of course, it was her beloved brother, Trent. He sounded haggard, exhausted. "WHAT? Where am I going to lay hands on that kind of money? I thought you guys were doing well on this trip!"
  
• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 19): Jane put her arms out to embrace her friend. "I can't wait to get back here, Daria. It's lonely down there in Lawndale without you. There's hardly anyone to talk to, except Trent." Daria felt very warm. "Jane, we're sisters, right?" Jane released her. "Not biologically, but yeah, I guess we are. I'm not all that close to Penny or Summer, so you're the nearest I have to a sister." Daria reached around to the back of her neck. A moment later, she held a thin gold chain with a crystal pendant in her hand.
  
• School Days, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): Dear Mac: Gained two more pounds, up to 88 pounds. Putting on muscle, especially in the legs. If I have any reason whatsoever to be grateful for being sick, it's that now I never ever have to do that stupid rope climbing thing in gym class! So while my comrades in humiliation struggle skywards, I am condemned to briskly trot around the perimeter of the gymnasium. Oh, the humiliation, the shame, the time to think while I enjoy a pleasant solitary stroll, my thoughts interrupted only by the sound of the occasional body falling onto the safety mats.
• Unnamed story (Three Edged Sword), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): What do you think they're working on in Tom's room right now?
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: In Celebration of Stanley Kubrick), by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): "GENTLEmen! COCK your PISTOLS!" Daria's father... "GENTLEmen! AIM your PISTOLS!" ...had been bred, like many other young sons of working-class families, to the military arts. (Daria/Barry Lyndon)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: In Celebration of Stanley Kubrick), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): Quinn dropped off her books on the kitchen counter and went to the refrigerator to get a diet soda. "Hey Daria, you know we've got a substitute English teacher this week. He says he's a novelist, his name is Mr. Humbert...." (Daria/Lolita)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: In Celebration of Stanley Kubrick), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): Daria pressed her eye to the door's keyhole - she could see one young man, dressed in an odd white suit, looking distressed. "Help, miss! Please open up, there's been a terrible accident!" (Daria/A Clockwork Orange)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: In Celebration of Stanley Kubrick), by Minx (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer sat in the room. As she came to, Daria became immediately became aware of two things; the rancid smell of stale vomit that infiltrated her nostrils, and the faint burning sensation in her wrists and ankles. She made a vain attempt to move her heavy head, but quickly came to the realization that she was trapped. Her head was held in place against the tall back of a hard wooden chair by two leather straps that ran the girth of her forehead and chin; likewise she found that her hands and feet had been shackled in a similar fashion. She pulled hard at her restraints and writhed in pain, as the burning in her limbs intensified. (Daria/A Clockwork Orange)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: In Celebration of Stanley Kubrick), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): "What's YOUR name, scumbag?" "Uh, Kevin Thompson, sir!" (Daria/Full Metal Jacket)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: In Celebration of Stanley Kubrick), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): CHOP! (Daria/The Shining)
  

A Party Day If There Ever Was One

Today is Juneteenth, a holiday celebrated across much of the United States that has also spread beyond our borders to the rest of the world.

It began in 1865 in Galveston, Texas, when a Union Army general announced the end of slavery to the city's population. (Texans at the time did not want to end slavery and had held on to the practice until after the end of the Civil War.) Joyful celebrations were the order of the day thereafter, and the year after that, and so on. Daria and Quinn were likely familiar with the holiday from their time in Highland, Texas.

Today also marks the birthdays of two famous animated characters: the Tasmanian Devil (who turns 56) and Garfield the Cat (who is 32). Congratulations to both, but I still like Jane Lane better. Much better.

NuZ!

• J-D asks, "What is the origin of the use of the expression 'Partners In Crime' for Daria and Jane?" Offer your answer, if you know one.

PPMB

• Daria/Dorian, by LadieT (continued): Jane sat in the booth next to Tom. She hadn't planned on seeing him that day. As she slowly ate her slice, Tom looked over at her with concern. He placed his arm around her. "What's wrong? Are you still upset about Daria leaving? You said you've spoken to her, so you know she's all right. Christmas break will be here before you know it." He gave her a little squeeze. Jane heard nothing of what Tom had said. She was lost in her thoughts of Dorian holding her Sunday night. It was a lot different than the rough embrace Tom currently had her in. She lifted his arm up from around her. She thanked him for the slice and left. Tom sat in the booth wondering what he had done wrong.
• Finn Morgendorffer 50: Matters of State, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 3): The entire week passed slowly for Daria, not that she was complaining. Thanks to this State championship game, Finn wasn’t home for very much, and when he was, he usually took a shower and went straight to bed. He didn’t even need to be spoken too. Her mother had already informed her of their trip to Baltimore this weekend to watch the game, and that Daria was welcome to attend. Helen would pick her up from work and they would go to Baltimore together, and then, they would return home on Sunday morning. Daria had declined to attend, and she knew her mother would not force her. Still, Helen glared at her with a scowl every time the two locked eyes. Daria wasn’t going to be convinced to attend, however. She had no compelling need to go.
• Grove Hell on Earth, by Charles RB (Part 2): Mr Chen, the overly enthusiastic History teacher, nodded his head off. “Very good, Ms Morgendorffer! Perfect answer.” Daria punched the air. “Daaa, daaaa, dan-dah-dah, danananana daaa-nah dah.” She hadn’t meant to do that. “I... well, the praise is well deserved, Ms. Morgendorffer!” Chen hadn’t recovered well. He knew she hadn’t deliberately decided to celebrate a right answer with the chord from Black Sabbath's "Iron Man." He knew she knew he knew, right? Wrong? People had to be noticing. “Thanks, sir.” (FF.net)
  
• NEW! Judith Strikes!/Tales of the Ringbearers: The Gift of the Ringwraiths, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): “You are one sick woman,” Ian Lloyd chuckled, as Anastasia Rowe used her telekinesis to pull a clump of earth from the lawn, transforming it into ambrosia—the psychoactive substance that could be turned into any imaginable form of food—and then, transforming the ambrosia into a thick, rich barbecue sauce that poured slowly over the smoldering corpse, covering it thoroughly.
  
• The Soft Glow of Spring, by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): "Hey, Daria?" Monitoring technician Daria Jakobivna Mitrofonov swore under her breath. "Tell me, Konstantin," she said, not bothering to look up from the radiation read-outs she was copying down onto a clipboard. "What's it like knowing that the Gardener of Human Happiness would have plucked your family's line like a weed if he were still among us?" Konstantin stared at her blankly. "I don't know what that means," he finally said. "Of course you don't." She sighed and finished scratching down the radiation output of Unit 3 before looking up to greet the oaf. "What do you need, Konstantin?"
• NEW! Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Derek (COMPLETE!): In the frozen land of Nador, they were forced to eat Lady Quinn's suitors... (Daria/Monty Python and the Holy Grail)
  

Surf's Up!

Mack Mackenzie reminds us that today is King Kamehameha Day in Hawaii. Party it up as you see fit.

A lot of topics are being argued over in PPMB. Some of the most popular threads include these, which you should patronize and enjoy. (PPMB is having a few technical issues itself, but it is mostly stable.)

• Why are nerds unpopular?
• Daria and Asperger syndrome
• Daria geek movie consensus
• Which writers specialize in certain characters?
• Ever have a teacher give you this advice about writing?
• Questions, questions, questions (for fanfic writers)
• Flinging Fourth the New Ideas Thread

And there is even more fanfiction on tap.

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 49: Blessed Be This Meal, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): “Daria, when is your last class on Wednesday? Tell me now so I can make sure someone picks you up in time for Thanksgiving.” “About Thanksgiving, Mom. I don’t think I’m going to come down.” The news hit Helen very hard. “Why?”
• NEW! The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 35): Daria walked downstairs. "I suppose I shouldn't even ask," Daria said. "No ham?" "Daria!" Jake cried. "This is Thanksgiving! It's Turkey Day! We don't eat ham on Turkey Day!" "All right," Daria said. "Mom, did you stock the anti-diarrhea medicine again?" "Daria, I keep trying to tell you, over and over again, that Jake's turkey is fine. You're the only one that seems to have trouble with it. And I know that you eat turkey on other occasions, so you can stop trying to sell that you're allergic to turkey."
  
• Hang Time, by Lord Akiyama (Part 2): Jane and Trent Lane slouched as they stood on the curve in front of their home. Both wore sunglasses, primarily to prevent too much sunlight into their eyes. Both were extremely tired and, quite frankly, would rather be asleep at this moment. Instead, they were awake, or about as awake as they could be at this time of day, and waiting. Waiting for their nightmare to truly begin. "Hey, Janey," Trent managed to mumble. "Yeah?" Jane responded in a sleepy voice. "What time is it?"
• Springtime For Self-Esteem, by Ajar (continued): “We're just here to say we've chosen your proposal for the new self-esteem club.” “Good. Maybe now there won't be such a bias against women in self-esteem education.” “What bias?” “What bias?! How about the bias that a woman's self worth is how much approval they get from a man who will walk out on her after twenty-two years. What bias? When was the last time you saw a man desperately trying to make herself attracted to a man who doesn't appreciate all the sacrifices she made to him.”
• The Weed of Crime Bears Glitter Fruit, by Kristen Bealer (Part 2): "Welcome to It's a Nutty, Nutty, Nutty World. We're just nuts about nuts. Crunch nuts with your lunch. Buy them by the bunch. Send them to friends far away to munch," recited the teenager behind the counter. His bored tone of voice contrasted sharply with the fake smile plastered on his face. "We want to speak to the person in charge," Kevin demanded. "Is there a manager or whatever here?" The teenager's smile immediately vanished as he gestured toward the back room behind the counter. "In there." Kevin and 99 burst through the door to see a thin man with blond hair and an earnest expression, holding a clipboard as he inventoried the nuts. "Hey! No unauthorized personnel behind the counter!" As the agents pulled guns from their holsters, beads of sweat appeared on his forehead. "Please!" he begged. "Take what you want, but please leave the pistachios; we're down to our last bag!" "Drop the act," Kevin ordered. "We know this place is a KAOS front, and we're here to shut it down!" (Daria/Get Smart)
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Sincerest Form of Flattery), by Roentgen (fragment): In 2002, a film was uncovered from the Crotobaltislavonian State Archives. Called "Esteemed Too Dearly," it appeared to be some sort of teen comedy film financed by the Crotobaltislavonian Council for the Filmic Arts. However, due to the collapse of the Crotobaltislavonian unit of currency—the pem—sometime in 2002, the movie was never released...
  

In Their Memory

This Memorial Day, we give thanks for everyone in the U.S. Armed Forces, past and present and future. Mack Mackenzie, as General Patton, gives them our best salute.

NEW! Roentgen has added a new Iron Chef for artists: A Daria Design. How would you have drawn Daria if you were designing the show?

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 48: Filling Sacks of Failure, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): As he finished all the smaller applications, Finn’s eyes came across his favorite picture. It was taken when Finn was only 6, back in Highland. He was sitting on his father’s shoulders, and it was the happiest Finn had ever seen his father. I hope you’re proud, Dad, Finn thought.
• NEW! Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 2): Clarissa pointed to the table. "I'm just getting my picture taken. Do you want to get something to eat after we get our dorm assignment?" Daria shrugged. "Okay. I heard that the room assignments are just temporary, that they let us pick out where we want to live." Clarissa brightened. "I'd like to live in Owen Hall. It's the oldest dorm on campus and they say it's haunted." Daria gave out a snort, then smiled. "Count me in. Maybe the ghosts can give us pointers on what our professors want in our term papers."
  

Syncopation Nation

The Daria Fandom Blog II is reliably informed that today is International Jazz Day (always the Saturday before Memorial Day). Enjoy some mellow tunes as the day goes by. Mack does the alter ego at left for famed jazz trumpeter Dizzy Gillespie. A note on how this holiday came about appears here.

I've noticed that a few more of the older Daria fansites have vanished, for whatever reason. I will work on updating the links at left as soon as I can. If you discover a new Daria fansite or notice that an old one no longer works, let me know in the Comments.

Current Topix

• Pop Culture in the Dariaverse
• Question about "getting a bye" in "See Jane Run"

FF.net

• Brittany Wants Daria, by a440 (Part 2): "What a crazy world," muttered Daria. "Why did I have to be born bi? Why did we ever come to Lawndale? Why do I have those feelings for her? Why did one kiss trigger off a girl crush I haven't felt after so many years?"
• Hard Choices, by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): I'm going to kill her. I'm not being euphemistic here. I am going to go over there, break into her house, and then I am going to kill Daria Morgendorffer. (SFMB)

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 47: Hell is Homecoming, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): On the day of Homecoming, Finn was all ready in his tuxedo at the float. A heat wave was making the formal wear unbearable, but Finn reasoned he could take his jacket off once the parade got started. Stacy had already arrived, and she was positively stunning in a long, champagne-colored dress. She had let her hair down and curled it. The two matched perfectly, it would be a good float. But, before the parade started, Finn needed to check on the football float.

DariaWiki? I'd hit that!

We haven't given the incredible crew building DariaWiki its due of late, and we shall do so now. I confess things like DariaWiki make me think we have one of the best informed fandoms anywhere. There's not much that doesn't get by us. (The two images here are ones recently added to the 'wiki.)

First, the crew itself. A big hand goes out to Jim North, Brother Grimace, Quiverwing, Disco316, JPAGC, Roentgen, Heydrian, and Kchishol1970 for their fantastic work. You guys ROCK!!!

Curious about which DariaWiki pages are the most popular? The longest? The newest? Click and see.

Some of the webpages recently added or improved include the following in no special order whatsoever. Enjoy at your leisure.

Cheer Lords
Das Elendskücken
Monsters
Nightmare
Decelaraptor
The Hallowed Halls of Fielding
Maryann Lyter
Therian Thirty
Esteeminator: The Daria Morgendorffer Chronicles
Daria World
Part of the Solution
Bull Session
Guy Moore
Cassandra
One True Pairing
Guilty Pleasures
Mount Covenant
Mack Mackenzie
My Night at Daria's Anthology
Is It Smiting Yet?
Daylight
John Andrews
Strictly Business
A Special Day for the Colonel
Daria: Hunter
Malevolent Turtle
Jon Kilner
The Musician's New Muse
Colin Farrington
The Red Maid
Stacy Rowe, Evangelion Pilot
The Chris Series
Daria: The OAVs

Through a Closet, Darkly

Finally, help is needed in editing what's there, or in adding missing material. If you can add a wanted page, link up an orphaned page, or categorize a page, please do!

N0O0Z!!!

• Latest most best fan art: Teh Wickedness!!!
• The latest Iron Chef: "...And that's how your dad and I got together." (Great stuff already in progress!)

FF.net

• What Have You Done, Faux Jane? by NihilisticAmbition313 (Part 1): "I really didn't mean for it to go this far, or get this out of control." Quinn said barely above a whisper. The tears were now streaming from the redhead's eyes, but Daria was unmoved. She wanted Quinn to cry, to feel the pain that she had caused herself and her best friend.

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• The Best Is Yet to Be, by Ravynstone (COMPLETE!): Jane was trying very hard not to laugh. “You had a sex dream about Kevin Thompson?” Daria scowled at her best friend. “Yes.” “Wow. And I thought you were dark before, Daria.”

• Cast Aside, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Brittany Taylor was the only other survivor of the Princess Fairy. She had snuck off with her boyfriend, Kevin Thompson, for one of their patented makeout sessions. They found privacy in the ship’s only lifeboat, then found themselves adrift after the rope holding the boat to the ship snapped. Kevin tried to use the oars to catch up with the boat, but had accidentally dropped the oars over the side. Kevin then decided to signal the boat by standing up and lighting a match. When he tried this, he fell into the water. With the storm picking up and Kevin’s pads dragging him down, Brittany had just missed grabbing his hand before he sank for the last time.
• collar, by Jim North (continued): "Oh wow," Quinn said once she was sure the waiter was out of hearing range. "Is that boy the most gorgeous thing ever or what? Ooh, that voice, and you could nibble on that butt for days!" (SFMB)
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 35: The Fat Chick, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): “It’s Sandi!” Stacy interrupted. “Yeah, she’s not here today.” Finn remarked. That was not a bad thing, persay. “No, I mean she’s not here because of her leg. I heard from Rebecca who heard from Abby who heard from Brooke that Sandi broke it yesterday night.”
• Folie à deux, by Charliefox2012 (Part 4): Evie scrutinized Daria intently, and then sighed lightly. “You’re actually worried that she’ll send me away again.” Daria hesitated before she gave her a small nod. “I’m pretty sure mom wasn’t kidding about the boarding school.” Evie gave her a small smile. “Mom is done sending me away,” she said confidently. “How do you know?” Daria inquired.
• Onwards and Upchuck, by Shull Bitter (COMPLETE!): Charles Ruttheimer III gave a gentle growl-purr as he reached his locker, and the enchanting vision of loveliness standing before it. "Well, if it isn't the red hot, foxy younger Morgendorffer. What service may I offer?"
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: "...And that's how your dad and I got together"), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): Ficlet
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: "...And that's how your dad and I got together"), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): Ficlet
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: "...And that's how your dad and I got together"), by Roxanne M (COMPLETE!): Ficlet
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: "...And that's how your dad and I got together"), by Shull Bitter (COMPLETE!): "Well, you know, like your father and I were stationed together at the same post in World War Three," Brittany said. She twirled her still blonde hair, now in a single longer ponytail, around a finger. "But we actually knew each other from when we were little kids. Back in high school, we were both dating other people. After graduation, I never thought I'd see him again, but then came the attack on Old Los Angeles. I was a third semester freshman in college then. The government asked for all able bodied people to enlist so that they wouldn't need a draft, and, well, who's more able bodied than a cheerleader?
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: "...And that's how your dad and I got together"), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): The twins' faces were awash in horror. "You hooked up at a key party?!"
  

Who was that masked man?

It was 77 years ago that The Lone Ranger made his first media appearance on a radio show of the same name. I used to watch the TV show during the late 1950s and early 1960s. Loved it, very exciting for a small kid. Mack is polishing his already saintly image by starring as the Lone Ranger here.

By Richard Lobinske's figuring, it was 10 years ago today that Angela Li called for a weekend meeting to discuss plans to sell Ultra-Cola in Lawndale High. You might want to watch "Fizz Ed" just for fun today.

Can you think of any other special awards (like the one Daria got) that Ms. Li could give out to students at Lawndale High for their graduation?

NEW! Got any ideas for a clip show revolving around Richard Lobinske's Falling into College series? Post your suggestions here.

ALSO NEW! Remember that thread about Things Students Still Are Not Allowed to Do at Lawndale High? It's baaaaaack!

Kara Wild has learned something you might want to know about the upcoming DVDaria. Stay tooned.

A Fish Dinner for Festivus!

Just 71 years ago today, the first live coelacanth (SEE lah kanth) was caught off the coast of South Africa. That makes today a Geek Holiday. The fish Mack caught is blue like coelacanths usually are. Do you know only one Daria fanfic even mentions coelacanths? Dang!

Today is also FESTIVUS, FOR THE REST OF US! And it is HumanLight, the winter holiday for secular humanists. Not as much fun as Festivus, I'll wager. Enjoy your Festivus card. And the only Daria story about Festivus.

The astrological sign of Capricorn began yesterday or the day before, so Jake Morgendorffer (per The Daria Diaries) was born sometime between then and mid-January. (Wonder if he got slighted presents for being born near Christmas.) Amy is also reported by some to be a Capricorn, not sure why. Maybe you know.

Capricorn is a constellation that dates back at least 5,000 years. Its origins might be connected with legends of a fish-man named Oannes, who taught the Babylonians (Sumerians, really) civilized behavior. It has been suggested by Carl Sagan that Oannes was an alien being, but it is also conjectured that the mythic creature represents the human sighting of a brilliant supernova 11,000 years ago, whose remains are now known as the Vela Supernova Remnant.

Another fanfic roundup soon....

Always Remember, Never Forget

Call it Veterans Day (USA), Armistice Day (Belgium, France, New Zealand), or Remembrance Day (UK, Australia, Canada, and other Commonwealth of Nations countries), this day was set aside to honor those who honorably served their countries in wartime. The day was also mean to celebrate the end of the War to End All Wars, which sadly did nothing of the kind. World War I ended on the eleventh day of the eleventh month, at 11:00 a.m. Central European Time (six hours ahead of Eastern Standard Time, one hour ahead of London time).

Brother Grimace wrote a great fanfic about this day: "The One Day We Forget." Nemo Blank wrote a story in which the Holiday Island spirit of Veterans Day, Joe, got to meet Quinn Morgendorffer ("Crossover"). The no-nonsense ROTC student known as Veterans Day (from Holiday Island High, of course) appeared on Daria in "Depth Takes a Holiday."

Today's most significant birthday anniversary, given the above, is that of General George S. Patton, Jr., to whom Mack pays homage at right. Mack imitates the opening scene from the 1970 movie Patton, in which the general (magnificently played by George C. Scott, at left) gives a stirring speech to American soldiers before D-Day. This occurred during the even bigger world war that followed the War to End All Wars. The movie Patton is mentioned in a few fanfics, including several chapters of the All My Children series.

General Patton believed he had been reincarnated from the souls of soldiers across history. Kevin Thompson believes something like that, too.

Other Major Daria-related Historical Events Today: Actor Leonardo DiCaprio, who was confused with Romeo by Sandi Griffin and Stacy Rowe thanks to the part he played in the movie Romeo and Juliet, turns 35. (Mr. DiCaprio is also mentioned in "The Lost Girls," and his role in Titanic reappears in "Just Add Water," handled by Mr. O'Neill.) Author Kurt Vonnegut, whose novel Breakfast of Champions is mentioned on Mr. O'Neill's blackboard in "Write Where It Hurts," was born 87 years ago. Fyodor Dostoevsky, whose novels Amy Barksdale almost certainly read as a teenager ("You spent the whole time barricaded in your room, reading those weird Russian novels!"), was born 186 years ago. U.S. Route 66, the famous transcontinental two-lane highway from Chicago to Los Angeles (the star of its own TV series almost five decades ago, and the only highway with its own theme song), turns 83 today. It has a role in this recent fanfic.

teh KNOOZ

• Anne D. Bernstein, the original Jane Lane, shows off some new artwork. I think I can guess who drew all of Jane's artwork from the series. (Relevant webpage here.) All I can say is, when I put my foot in my mouth, I really put my foot in my mouth. Sorry!
  
• "Daria: Hunter" character sketches have been posted on PPMB by Jim North and Pinhead. Win!

FF.net

• NEW! Sinspiration, by Vlora (COMPLETE!): The radio finally began to make the same tinny sounds of a station rather than white noise. "-and after the ad break we'll have an exclusive interview with the lead guitarist and vocalist of the new, the hot, the amazing Mystik Spiral." [The Daria/Trent shipper HAS RETURNED!]
  

PPMB

• ___ Daria, by Trscroggs (COMPLETE but can be expanded!): Daria Morgendorffer, Raft sophomore, pushed her book cart through the empty stacks on Raft’s largest library after-hours. The part-time librarian job was less than ideal, but since it was a relatively easy way to get spending cash Daria worked hard enough to insure she kept it. The job did have a few upsides. One was the keys, and permission, to head into parts of the stacks only dedicated researchers ever treed. Daria admitted she like the idea of the thought of hidden treasures within the faded brown and dull red covers of the library’s oldest general circulation tomes. It during one of these ‘treasure hunts’ that Daria stumbled across a treasure worth far more than words. [Daria/Cardcaptor Sakura]
• NEW! Falling into College 71: Merging Goals, by Richard Lobinske (Part 3): "Purchase Morgendorffer Consulting? Purchase Morgendorffer Consulting? Purchase Morgendorffer Consulting?"
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 13: Desperate Teenage Boys, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): Finn walked down the road quietly, completely weirded out by all of the strange occurrences that happened today. He had gone to all three of his best friends’s houses to stay the night, and found himself leaving within a few hours at each of them. And I thought I had it bad, he thought.
• NEW! Invisible Love, by Charliefox2012 (Part 8): “So, no more passengers?” Trent asked, sounding slightly impatient. Jane looked at Trent sternly. “What’s your deal? It’s not like I pulled you away from anything important.” “I was practicing,” Trent muttered. “Uh-huh,” Jane said and turned to Duncan in the back seat. Smirking, she said, “Duncan, would you say sleeping with a guitar in your hands counts as practicing?” (FF.net)
  
• NEW! Sweet Dreams, by Vlademir1 (COMPLETE!): Sandi Griffin watched, smugly satisfied, as her best friend Stacy Rowe rushed around doing her bidding. For reasons she couldn't really explain she got a huge rush having the kind of power she did, and controlling Stacy in particular was even more of a total rush.
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tooth and Nail), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Oh, well," he finally said into the empty room. "At least there's one person who will always love me."
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tooth and Nail), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Oh, baby..." Mack whispered softly as he beheld the awesome sight before him. Gently, ever so gently, he ran his fingertips along the side of the cool shaft. "You like that?" he breathed. "Yah, you like that, don'tcha? Feels real nice when I do that..."
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tooth and Nail), by Ticknart (COMPLETE!): "Mack," said Mr. O'Neill, "what are you doing here?" Michael looked up and said, "Nothing. Just relaxing before class." "So you'll be in here until class starts?" "If it's okay with you?" "Of course," said Mr. O'Neill, smiling. "I'll be right back." [STOP READING NOW BEFORE YOU GO BLIND!]
  

Unchain Your Inner Techno-Nerd!

In Europe, this is Inventor's Day in honor of the techno-nerd lurking inside us all. The day was so proclaimed because it was the birth date of an extremely creative actress. In the U.S. this is World Freedom Day, commemorating the fall of the Berlin Wall (20 years ago today). Thanks to Pinhead, again, for the marvelous alter ego.

Richard Lobinske has once again updated the most excellent 2009 Daria Visual Fanworks Listing. Thank you! And Pinhead once again freaks out the fan base with a mind-blasting "small joke." AND a series of Daria/Watchmen sketches have been posted by thatLONERchick.

FF.net

• Sinspiration, by Vlora (Parts 25 and 26): "Can I ask you something?" Daria preemptively hummed under her breath, her eyes focused on the end of Trent’s bed. They had been sitting there for the better part of the day, staring idly at the television that Trent had received from Jesse a few days back. "No." He paused, sensing Daria had taken him seriously. "I was kidding, ask away," he laughed. The girl turned a bemused look toward him before he sighed out a small apology. "What’re we going to do when I head off to Raft?"
  

PPMB

• Anti-Trope 2, by Pinkminx (Part 1): “You know, I hear that Quinn’s brother has been in a mental hospital, and he escaped,” Joey said. “Well, I heard he’s been locked up in the attic since he was born and the only reason he’s allowed out is because the neighbors saw him when they were moving in,” Jamie added. “You’re both wrong. I heard he was in a military academy, and he got expelled for starting a riot. They say five kids died that day,” Jeffy said in a grave tone.
  
• NEW! Daria: Hunter—Suited for Crime, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): Tom fidgeted with his rumpled collar. "You two haven't... talked to anybody about yesterday's events yet, have you?" Jane's frown matched Daria's. "Only the police," she said. "For six hours. What the hell is going on here, Tom?" Tom sighed and rubbed his face. "Okay," he said. "Okay. I don't know everything, but I've been able to figure out some of it. It seems that shortly after you guys left the station last night, DENA showed up." "DENA?" Jane asked in mild consternation. "The Department of Extra-Normal Affairs? Those nuts who try to protect us from little green men that don't exist?" (FF.net)
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 12: Carnivore (COMPLETE!): “We’re just looking at raw footage right now.” Daria informed. Jane had the remote, so she rewound it and played a little of it for Helen. In particular, the part where Stacy was crying at Mack’s party, and Finn’s subsequent freak out. “Oh my.” Helen seemed astounded by her son’s behavior, though Daria knew it wasn’t because of shock. She knew just how callous Finn could be.
• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 13: Desperate Teenage Boys, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): “What about Grove Hills?” Finn asked as he took his seat at the table. Finn knew the name of the school: It was some prep school where they sent a bunch of geeks to be caged like the beasts they were. “Daria’s been invited to tour the campus,” his mother explained. “Oh.” Finn played it cool. If Daria went to school there, she’d be living in the dorms there. She’d no longer be at Lawndale High, or in the house. He’d be free of her influence once and for all—but he couldn’t say that out loud. Helen would just yell at him, and Daria would refuse to go, simply to torture Finn.
• NEW! In Silence Sarcastic, by Trscroggs (continued): Standing out by herself in the back yard was Daria Morgendorffer, but not the one Jodie had grown used to seeing in class the last few days. This Daria was not wearing the bulky jacket and green skirt that marked the mute girl at school. Instead this Daria was wearing a snug t-shirt and shorts that Jodie knew would get even a cheerleader sent to the office to change. This Daria’s shirt was soaked through with sweat. She spun a wooden stick through complicated patterns occasionally interrupted by a vicious elbowing or kick.
  
• Othello, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): Stacy Rowe was finally happy. It was the first week of her junior year, and she was finally blossoming. One of the hottest guys in the school was interested in her. And not as a consolation date after going out with Quinn or Sandi. Her reflection smiled back at her in her bedroom mirror. No, Mack Mackenzie had finally broken up with Jodie and asked her, Stacy Rowe, on a date.
• Rainbow Disconnection, by Disco316 (Part 6): “Would you be dears and bring my books to Ms. Barch’s classroom?” asked Quinn. “There’s a book for each of you.” The three boys thanked Quinn and started to fight over who would end up with Quinn’s binder over her two textbooks. Quinn knew that they wouldn’t think twice about it, since Ms. Barch had said that having the three of them subservient to a woman was sufficient enough reason to cut them some slack… for now.
• Scarlett the Fairy and the Halloween Party, by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): Yes, it was that time of year when children and adults alike celebrate by putting on costumes more outlandish than anything a cosplayer could even think of. Or would want to. No, it wasn’t Let’s Make a Deal. It was Halloween, and in Lawndale, everyone was in the spirit.
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Innocent Bystanders Screw It Up Again!), by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): "Ummm . . . Did Ms. Li finally decide to burn the school down for the insurance money?"
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tooth and Nail), by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): As Sandi tackled Quinn, knocking them both into the Brittany-Andrea catfight nearby, Mack finally had enough. Stepping on top of a table, he held his hands up and shouted, "Excuse me!"
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tooth and Nail), by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): "You snooze, you lose."
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Tooth and Nail), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Ye-e-e-sss? How can I help you, young man?" Helen asked. "Mrs. Morgendorffer, I'm Mack Mackenzie. I'm here to see your daughter."