Pop Goes the Artist

Daria has decided to celebrate Pop Art Day by creating her own knock-off featuring Jane. This will be a relief to Jane, who has painted more than her share of knock-offs and will be happy to take a break.

I'm sure Jane would rather celebrate the anniversary of Jackson Pollock's birth on this day in 1912, anyway. I'm sure it wouldn't be necessary to decorate the entire high school gym, though, as once was certainly enough.

Finally, let's wish Daria's favorite aunt a happy National Amy Day, and let's hope she's able to take another fun vacation to make Helen sick with jealousy. Especially if she's able to get Ralph Fiennes to join her.

Fanfic Update!

• The Engineer and the Time Lady, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 25): "Kristoff grew exhasperated as the Trolls continued to try to pair him with Anna. (Although some were also looking at Lena.)"


• I'm Sure Now, by goodmorninggrayson (COMPLETE!): "Stacy Rowe couldn't stop herself from staring at the alluringly confident Quinn Morgendorffer on the hot pink towel with a smiling sun with black dots for eyes that they currently shared since Quinn had forgotten hers."


• Spider Quinn 14 Battle and Consequence, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "The Griffins were running late. Tom, Linda and Sandi were ready, but Sam and Chris were dragging their heels."

Popping In For a New Blog Post

Daria's celebrating Pop Art Day by showing off her new masterpiece...or is Jane celebrating by being her own new masterpiece? It's exactly the kind of thought-provoking tour-de-force that any pop artist would love to produce!

While not a pop artist, it's worth mentioning that today is the anniversary of Jackson Pollock's birth in 1912. I recommend celebrating by attending a school dance in his honor, and bonus points if you and another student get into a one-sided fistfight in the parking lot.

Let's also wish Aunt Amy a happy National Amy Day, and hope that she's celebrating with another tropical vacation. Of course, the best part of any vacation is rubbing her sister's nose in it, so don't forget the postcard!

Fandom News!

• Please remember to vote for your favorite Written Works and Visual Works!


• R.I.P., Melanie.


• Check out the logo for Jodie.


• wouter describes the biggest train wreck in a well known comic book series.

Birthday Wishes from His Number One Fan

Amy is just phoning her favorite actor, Ralph Fiennes, to wish him a happy birthday. He turns 51 today, and with any luck he's forgotten about that restraining order by now.

Fanfic Update!

• Ah, Hell, by metameric1 (part 1): "St. Peter handed him a glowing white harp. 'Go on in, kid. Welcome to Heaven.' Trent stared at the peculiar instrument dolefully, wondering how far he could push his luck. Heaven?"


• Blame It on Ansel Adams (Dusty's Crazy Pairings Thread), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Stroke. 'Your turn.' 'Hmmmmm,' Looking up. Finger on chin. 'I'm going to the picnic, and I'm bringing...um...angel food cake!' Brittany said excitedly."


• Calling Dan Webster, by RangerLou2 (COMPLETE!): "Riding home in Sandi's car, Quinn was staring out the window trying to think of how to go about this extra credit thing she had to do. As a result, she wasn't paying any attention to what Sandi was saying."


• A Great And Good Christmas #1 (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "'So, got any big plans for Ashley's birthday?' Jane asked. 'Well, we're heading out to Ocean City to see Z-Shift. I managed to get some tickets a while back,' Daria replied."


• It's Not Easy Seeing Green, by getrealordie187 (part 1): "In Highland she had stagnated but had been, in Lawndale she'd lived, and maybe Angel Grove was where Daria was going to die."


• Little Pink Book, by Snow-Kitty (part 1): "Anthony ignored Kevin's moronic enquiry and scanned the room once more. His piercing gaze landed upon a mousy haired girl with braces sitting in the second back row. 'Ms. Brookston? Do you know what happened in the Teapot Dome Scandal?'"


• Monday, by ashk09 (part 1): "An auburn-haired woman, maybe around twenty-five or so, was looking at him with a slight smile tugging at the corner of her mouth; McKay decided that she was rather pretty, in a geeky, stays-up-all-night-playing-Warcraft kind of way."


• Paige Turner (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "As he looked to his left, he noticed one girl in particular who was attracting the attention of most males in the vicinity. She had a lean figure, with long, black hair that went past her shoulders, ruby red lips and was wearing a blue tank top and black skirt, with stylish black shoes."


• Rude Awakening Chrismas (TAKE 2): A Christmas Tale, by DIsaac (part 1): "TODD: Well it's Christmas time in New England. No place I would rather be ... TOMMY: What the hell are we doing here in Boston. I'm freezing here!"


• Star-Crossed, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "WHUMP. With a whoosh of suddenly displaced air, the shape appeared. It was a large blue phone booth labeled 'POLICE' above the doorway, still steaming from whatever physics-defying process had brought it here."


• Tidings of Comfort and Joy (LongSnakeMoan's Fluff Thread), by LongSnakeMoan (part 1): "It was weird to be back. For a moment Quinn almost thought it was weird to be home, but she stopped herself pretty quickly. Highland wasn't home anymore, if anything Lawndale was home now, not that she'd ever admit that to anyone, but it was strange to see all those places she remembered from childhood still there, perhaps even a little cleaner than she remembered."


• Unbearable 2: The Lady and the Tiger, by Smijey (part 2): "'What's this about a bear?' the tiger asked, lazily, curiously. '...And now, ladies and gentlemen, a talking tiger,' Jane said dramatically. 'My life is now complete.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "As Daria gazed her blurry eyes into the laptop screen, another yawn escaped her mouth. Instead of trying to cover up the sound, she just reached for her glass and took another swig of bourbon. she wished that she had more energy, but that wasn't possible."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Quh-winn, you really should take those colored contacts out. They're so...unfashionable.' Sandi placed her hands on her hips, as if to say 'so there'. Quinn cocked her head in response, an odd grin warping her features. Her green eyes were unreadable."


• Untitled Crossover, by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 1 - 4): "'You got the cash?' 'Yeah, yeah, I got—where's the—'" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)


• A Wee Bit Crazy, by Smijey (part 1): "Mrs. Bennett clasped her hands together, a wild, joyous expression on her face as the last of the students filed into the class. 'Excellent, everybody's here!' she exclaimed, more exuberant than normal. 'Class, with your permission, I'd like to deviate from the planned syllabus today.'"


• You Only Live Once... So YOLO! (Scenes that should be: Pacific Rimmers), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "One day as Ms. Barch went on one of her usual 'Kill all men!' rants in what was supposed to be science class. One student rose up quietly from his seat, fondling something in his hands."

"I Don't" Did It!

One of the best of all Daria episodes, "I Don't," aired twelve years ago today. We get to meet Amy Barksdale, but enough about her.

What about Daria's cousin Erin? Could she be rehabilitated in fanfiction as anything other than a ditz? Discuss below in Comments. More soon.

NO0oZ!

• The Magnificent Kara Wild has updated DVDaria!
• Respite has discovered a new Daria fanfiction site at ArchiveOfOurOwn. Enjoy! (I do need to update the links here soon, some of them need fixin'.)
• NEW! Advice from tafka appears on PPMB on how to post an artwork in progress.
  

FF.net

• A Few Years Difference, by Vlora (Part 2): "We won't talk about it," said Helen to Daria. "You do know about contraception, though?" "I'm 22." "Well, when a woman and a man love each other very much—" "Wow, look at the time, gotta go out!"
• The Passing of a Loyal Friend, by Johnny Style (COMPLETE!): The bodyguard simply pushed her charge to the ground and then stood in the path of the incoming gunfire. The other bodyguards quickly identified where the gunfire was coming from and returned fire. The woman who had stepped in the way of the incoming bullets also tried to draw her side arm. However she felt something wrong and when she drew her hand away she saw it was covered in blood. Her own blood, it seemed she must have taken a bullet or maybe two. "Britt?" asked her terrified charge. "Just stay down Jodie," the bodyguard said as she slumped to the ground. "Don't worry I'm sure the others will..."
• [Links to stories already mentioned here have been placed with those stories.]

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• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett’s Tale, by Doggieboy (Part 17): Tents, makeshift shelters built out of plywood and tin scraps, and assorted vehicles of all shapes and sizes were set up haphazardly amongst the homes and buildings that made up Taylorsville. “I didn’t think that there’d be that many people here,” Scarlett said, her voice reflecting her awe. George looked at the teen. “There’s at least two million people who have been displaced from eastern Maryland and Delaware alone. That’s a lot of people to absorb... and move on out.”
• Daria: Hunter—Infectious (continued): Daria fired again, but once more her shot went wide, that time missing completely. The creatures closed in too quickly for a third shot, so she dropped her gun completely and made the move to unsheathe her right blade while slashing with the left. One of the creatures caught the edge across the face and spun off to the side, leaving Daria open to strike at the other. Her right fist came up and she realized too late that there wasn't a blade sitting over it.
• Daria: The Next Chapter, by LadieT (Part 1): Jane glanced down at Anne, still sleeping peacefully. "Looks like I have to get ready to pack some things. We are going to visit Grandma Amanda and Uncle Trent for a few days." Jane went into her bedroom to grab some luggage. As she packs, she stares at a photo on her nightstand. It was a picture of Anne, Tom and herself taken eight months ago, when they were happy. When they were still... Jane shook her head.
• Daria: The Next Chapter, by LadieT (Part 2): After some time to gather her wits about her, Daria decided to drive around to see how much things had changed. She frowned when that the pizza parlor she and Jane had hung out at had been turned into a bland chain restaurant. Yet another small business gone to hell in a handbasket. She made a mental note for her next editorial.
• NEW! Daria—The Next Chapter, by LadieT (Part 3): Daria and Allen found a place near the pharmacy. Damn, don't this bring back bad memories. She closed her eyes to block the visions going through her head. Allen stood behind her, placing his hands on her shoulders. She looked up at him and smiled. Allen saw her parents and waved. They returned the gesture before heading to sit with the Griffins. Their feud ended years ago with Sandi's overdose. That event led Quinn to become the woman she was today: wife, mother, soldier... currently six months into a year long tour of Iraq. Once she returned home, her time with the Army would be over. She had decided not to reenlist and to go back to college. Daria stood quietly and wished for her sister's safe return.
  
• The Dragon's Kiss, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): The night air was crisp as Mack exited his vehicle. He grabbed a duffle bag out of his back seat and made his way to the house. He knocked on the door. A leather clad figure opened the door and directed him inside. The only noise he heard from behind him was the clicking of the lock. He felt a gloved hand run through his hair. He reached around to pull her in front of him. After an intense kiss, they broke apart. [EYE-BLEACH WARNING!]
• Dying on the Inside, by Minx (COMPLETE!): Sleep. That’s all I wanted, all I needed. Just one night’s sleep, but it’s impossible, that’s when they return: the memories.
• Finn Morgendorffer 36: Brain of the Family, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): The rumor around school was that the teachers wanted a raise. That didn’t surprise Finn in the slightest. In a word, Li was cheap. Cheap as balls. After all, that whole fiasco with the soda cans was because Li spent all their money on bomb-sniffing dogs and other high-tech gizmos that were completely and totally unnecessary. Who would be using a satellite to spy on the school anyway?
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 17): "Still not ready!" he said sharply. His suspicious gaze darted over the room. Daria shrugged into the dinner jacket she'd grabbed. "No-one specified white tie, Mr Vitale," she said, mildly. "Do I need to change?"
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 15): Pulling up a chair, Quinn flipped on the back switch of Daria's Banana computer. Instead of the typical screen saver, Quinn was greeted with a name and password login screen. The name DariaM was already filled out. All Quinn needed was a password. Hmm... what would Daria use as a password? Quinn decided that she'd try the same password that she herself used and typed her first guess. Password: password. Immediately, the login screen was replaced by a picture of an angry looking Daria. In bold letters the caption underneath read: GET LOST, QUINN!!
• Infamy, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): The room hushed as the school board superintendent, Mr. Cartwright, crossed the stage and stood before the podium. He cleared his throat and said, "Under Civilian Exclusion Order 34, issued by Gen. John DeWitt, commander of Military Area 1, your principal, Angela Li, has been relieved of her duties and sent to a War Relocation Camp. Mrs. Bennett will be acting principal until a permanent replacement can be named. Thank you and you may return to your regularly scheduled classes." (FF.net)
  
• NEW! Ohio, by Respite (COMPLETE!): Helen answered just a bit too cheerily. “We’re just so glad to have our girls back safe and sound. I’m so glad your schools came to their senses before all that violence spread to Boston. You’re not taking part in any of that nonsense, are you, Daria? Good. Now, where are your father and Quinn? They really should be home by now.” Daria followed Jane into the kitchen and busied herself with a head of iceberg. “Actually, Mom, I’m—" (FF.net)
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: "...And that's how your dad and I got together"), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): Daria turned the radio on and cranked the volume. An unholy electronic screech filled the car for a moment before a prerecorded voice replaced it. "This is the emergency alert system. The President of the United States has issued an Emergency Action Notification with an attack warning throughout the United States."
• Vincent and the Lovely Light, by Respite (Part 1): “Why are we doing this again?” Daria asked. “Because we’re bored.” “Bored. We’re going to risk our lives, and maybe our sanity, because we’re bored.” “Yup,” Jane answered. “Bored. It’s Springtime, we’ve been cooped up for ages, we’re young, and we need adventure, Daria. Besides, how lucky are we to have a trans-dimensional wormhole in our very own town?” “You couldn’t be like every other teenager and just look for drugs or sex?”
  

DariaWiki? I'd hit that!

We haven't given the incredible crew building DariaWiki its due of late, and we shall do so now. I confess things like DariaWiki make me think we have one of the best informed fandoms anywhere. There's not much that doesn't get by us. (The two images here are ones recently added to the 'wiki.)

First, the crew itself. A big hand goes out to Jim North, Brother Grimace, Quiverwing, Disco316, JPAGC, Roentgen, Heydrian, and Kchishol1970 for their fantastic work. You guys ROCK!!!

Curious about which DariaWiki pages are the most popular? The longest? The newest? Click and see.

Some of the webpages recently added or improved include the following in no special order whatsoever. Enjoy at your leisure.

Cheer Lords
Das Elendskücken
Monsters
Nightmare
Decelaraptor
The Hallowed Halls of Fielding
Maryann Lyter
Therian Thirty
Esteeminator: The Daria Morgendorffer Chronicles
Daria World
Part of the Solution
Bull Session
Guy Moore
Cassandra
One True Pairing
Guilty Pleasures
Mount Covenant
Mack Mackenzie
My Night at Daria's Anthology
Is It Smiting Yet?
Daylight
John Andrews
Strictly Business
A Special Day for the Colonel
Daria: Hunter
Malevolent Turtle
Jon Kilner
The Musician's New Muse
Colin Farrington
The Red Maid
Stacy Rowe, Evangelion Pilot
The Chris Series
Daria: The OAVs

Through a Closet, Darkly

Finally, help is needed in editing what's there, or in adding missing material. If you can add a wanted page, link up an orphaned page, or categorize a page, please do!

N0O0Z!!!

• Latest most best fan art: Teh Wickedness!!!
• The latest Iron Chef: "...And that's how your dad and I got together." (Great stuff already in progress!)

FF.net

• What Have You Done, Faux Jane? by NihilisticAmbition313 (Part 1): "I really didn't mean for it to go this far, or get this out of control." Quinn said barely above a whisper. The tears were now streaming from the redhead's eyes, but Daria was unmoved. She wanted Quinn to cry, to feel the pain that she had caused herself and her best friend.

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• The Best Is Yet to Be, by Ravynstone (COMPLETE!): Jane was trying very hard not to laugh. “You had a sex dream about Kevin Thompson?” Daria scowled at her best friend. “Yes.” “Wow. And I thought you were dark before, Daria.”

• Cast Aside, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Brittany Taylor was the only other survivor of the Princess Fairy. She had snuck off with her boyfriend, Kevin Thompson, for one of their patented makeout sessions. They found privacy in the ship’s only lifeboat, then found themselves adrift after the rope holding the boat to the ship snapped. Kevin tried to use the oars to catch up with the boat, but had accidentally dropped the oars over the side. Kevin then decided to signal the boat by standing up and lighting a match. When he tried this, he fell into the water. With the storm picking up and Kevin’s pads dragging him down, Brittany had just missed grabbing his hand before he sank for the last time.
• collar, by Jim North (continued): "Oh wow," Quinn said once she was sure the waiter was out of hearing range. "Is that boy the most gorgeous thing ever or what? Ooh, that voice, and you could nibble on that butt for days!" (SFMB)
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 35: The Fat Chick, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): “It’s Sandi!” Stacy interrupted. “Yeah, she’s not here today.” Finn remarked. That was not a bad thing, persay. “No, I mean she’s not here because of her leg. I heard from Rebecca who heard from Abby who heard from Brooke that Sandi broke it yesterday night.”
• Folie à deux, by Charliefox2012 (Part 4): Evie scrutinized Daria intently, and then sighed lightly. “You’re actually worried that she’ll send me away again.” Daria hesitated before she gave her a small nod. “I’m pretty sure mom wasn’t kidding about the boarding school.” Evie gave her a small smile. “Mom is done sending me away,” she said confidently. “How do you know?” Daria inquired.
• Onwards and Upchuck, by Shull Bitter (COMPLETE!): Charles Ruttheimer III gave a gentle growl-purr as he reached his locker, and the enchanting vision of loveliness standing before it. "Well, if it isn't the red hot, foxy younger Morgendorffer. What service may I offer?"
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: "...And that's how your dad and I got together"), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): Ficlet
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: "...And that's how your dad and I got together"), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): Ficlet
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: "...And that's how your dad and I got together"), by Roxanne M (COMPLETE!): Ficlet
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: "...And that's how your dad and I got together"), by Shull Bitter (COMPLETE!): "Well, you know, like your father and I were stationed together at the same post in World War Three," Brittany said. She twirled her still blonde hair, now in a single longer ponytail, around a finger. "But we actually knew each other from when we were little kids. Back in high school, we were both dating other people. After graduation, I never thought I'd see him again, but then came the attack on Old Los Angeles. I was a third semester freshman in college then. The government asked for all able bodied people to enlist so that they wouldn't need a draft, and, well, who's more able bodied than a cheerleader?
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: "...And that's how your dad and I got together"), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): The twins' faces were awash in horror. "You hooked up at a key party?!"
  

Hello, and Woof Woof

Today is the eleventh anniversary of the premiere of "Through a Lens Darkly," a quest for personal identity involving manstopper glasses that helped lead off Daria's third season.

Two memorable characters appeared in this episode: Amy Barksdale and J.B., the bulldog. Yes, I know, J.B. was called "Pugsly" on the official site, but you and I know he's J.B. because he was in a story. 'Nuff said.

And Amy is Amy, no sense in going on about her. We need more pet stories, I believe. Lots more.

NEW! Pinhead is once again tearing up the art room. Click and enjoy. And check out Daria-2010.

Amusing Note: Looking for wallpaper for your 'pooter? Try the new wallpaper from the new MTV website. Kinda cute for the little bits on it. Also, I noticed there are 1,200,000+ fans registered on the main MTV Facebook site, so Daria fans account for over 20% of that total. Wow, that's a lot.

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• NEW! Daria: Hunter 5—Strictly Business, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): With a snarl of frustration Axl snapped his holo-heads back on so he could have at least one ranged sense running again. Just as his nightvision kicked in, he saw the bounty hunters descend on two of his selves. Or rather, he saw one, Janey, as she bowled into the chest of a Vexxer. The other woman landed on the back of another machine and started clawing at it with her armblades. [Ending here!] (FF.net)
• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 34: A Few Cans of Soda, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): Nothing happened immediately after the football practice ended, but according to the school gossip, there had been a strange man coming in and out of Ms. Li’s office. Heh, a secret lover? Finn chuckled to himself. Wouldn’t know who in their right minds would hit that, but some guys are desperate.
  
• NEW! Folie à deux, by Charliefox2012 (Part 2): “I don’t have it. Leave my closet alone,” Daria said, grumpily. “You have to have it,” Evie said. “Quinn doesn’t have it.” Daria sighed. “What are you looking for this time?” “My red turtleneck,” Evie answered. “I don’t have it,” Daria said.
• NEW! General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 14): As far as Daria could tell, there were no hidden switches, no panels, no signs or directions of any kind. She was getting interested, now. These tunnels seemed effectively endless, but their very elaboration indicated that something stupendous was down here to be found; perhaps a connection to the very galactic base of which Hrafn was commander. She'd need food and water to investigate this more thoroughly. Too bad she had to retrace two hours of walking, but better two hours than five.
• NEW! The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 7): "Besides," said Tom, "I hear that Quinn Morgendorffer is as dumb as a box of hammers." "Oh Pope." It was Terry, sighing. "You'll never find a soulmate. Not until you master parthenogenesis."
  
• Into the Fray, by Minx (Part 2): “What is going on? I was asleep one minute then BANG the next thing I know I’m being pushed into the car and being told to drive.” Max's veil of machismo was gone. It was now replaced with unbridled fear that shone in his eyes.
• NEW! Invisible Love, by Charliefox2012 (Part 11): “And Ramona. Goodness, only three and already preparing for college,” Helen said, astonished. “Yeah. Poor girl,” Duncan said flippantly. “Which reminds me. Duncan, what are your plans for college?” NEWER! [More here!] (FF.net)
  
• Legion of Lawndale Heroes Mini: Debut, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): “We’ll be meeting someone important in the family,” Kay Sloane said. When Elsie dug deeper for details—who the hell is it?—both of her parents clammed up. I suppose that this is where they break the big secret. The Sloane millions were founded with Nazi gold. I’ll meet my dear Aunt Eva and my Uncle Adolf. Because after all, if the Sloanes were Germans, it would make perfect sense that they would hide in Italy. Or maybe I meet my Uncle Benito. Whatever.
• NEW! Turn, Turn, Turn, by Ajar (COMPLETE!): "Damn abacus. Can't calculate the damned science rate with these damn jammed beads. God damn it!"
  
• Unnamed story ("A.U. Ficlet"), by GlitterShrooms (Part 1): “I know it’s hard to move to a new town, but I hope you both realize that we’re here for you. Mom, Dad, and I would do anything to make you two happy. You both understand that, don’t you?” “Did we move?” asked Daria Morgendorffer as she and her sister Quinn rode in the back. “Daria,” the driver continued, “I know it’s been awhile since we’ve been together like this, but I want you both to know how much I’ve missed you.” Without hesitation, Daria climbed over to turn up the radio.
• Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by DigiSim (Part 1): "Welcome to The George Underwood Edwards Institute of Technology!"
  

NEWZ FLASH! Torn Between Two Sisters!

In the grand tradition of the worst supermarket gossip tabloids, mega-actor Ralph Fiennes (born 47 years ago today) once found himself torn between the steamy lusts of two oppositional sisters: the brainy and cynical Amy Barksdale (left) and the blonde Rita Barksdale (right). As you recall, Amy confessed her undying devotion to Ralph (pronounced like Rafe, rhymes with safe) in "Through a Lens Darkly," but tragically lost him to the scheming Rita before the airing of "Aunt Nauseam" (Rita: "... I promised Ralph—you know, the actor I've been dating—I promised to take him to New York for his birthday, maybe catch a play or two.") Thus, we know "Aunt Nauseam" takes place near this day, in December about 1999-2000.

Why would two animated sisters find themselves catfighting over this man? A close look at Mr. Fiennes in his best known work outfits, shown below, reveals all. No wonder these hot-blooded women cast aside all sororal affection and civilized decency to have him for their very own!

Another cold case solved by the unstoppable Detective TAG. (Thanks once again to the awesome UU and Pinhead for the great images above!)

Movie Quiz: Name the three roles that Ralph Fiennes played in the three movies represented in the above images. Then say what it was about each role that got the Barksdale sisters so hot and bothered. On the other hand, maybe we'd best skip that. And skip the part about how Helen Morgendorffer fits in there, too.

A Wedding and a Birthday (and Chocolate!)

A busy fandom day this day is, indeed. Rita Pietropinto Kitt, who voiced the snarky aunt Amy Barksdale on Daria, was married on this day nine years ago. She has an address for fan mail, so if you want to send her our regards, please do. (Amy Barksdale was married on September 8, 2001, of course.)

Just curious: Why were there never any alter egos of Amy Barksdale? Or Rita, for that matter, but mostly Amy? Anyone got any guesses? BTW I think her hair color is maroon or dark red, not auburn like Daria's. Just throwing that out there.

This is the 123rd birthday of the Statue of Liberty, and let us again say Thank You! to France for the gift that kept on giving. And great thanks to Pinhead for the revised and much enlarged image! (Click and see.) This is one of my favorite alter egos of all time.

According to some mythologies, today is National Chocolate Day, but there seem to be quite a few National Chocolate Days on the calendar. What the heck, celebrate anyway. Pig out.

Strange Thought for the Day: Did you ever notice how much some of the students and faculty at the medieval fair in "Fair Enough" look like they were popped right out of a Harry Potter pastiche? Think about it. Here's all this perfect fantasy fan art and no stories to go with it. (Almost.) Weird, man.

And now for the Halloween fanfiction. This date figures prominently in two different haunting fanfics: Mystik Slacker's "The Journal of Daria Morgendorffer," and Sam Lincoln's "The Space Between." Check 'em out. This is also an excellent time to read Richard Lobinske's "Bump in the Night." One particularly creepy story actually begins on this calendar day: "The Journal of Daria Morgendorffer," by Mystik Slacker.

Oh, heck, why not give away the store: go to this link and get the full Halloween experience from Outpost Daria. Best news of all: there's another stockpile of Halloween fanfic left to go! And more stories not included in either collection! (More tomorrow.)

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• Daria: Hunter, by Jim North (Parts 1 to 3): Underwear, shirt, jeans, glasses, socks, boots, shoulder holster, pack belt, jacket, gloves, Stetson. And, of course, her undersleeve specials. She performed a quick pat-down of her jacket and pants pockets to make sure she had her wallet and various bits of equipment on her, then stepped out the apartment's front door and into the only-just-bearable heat of yet another summer morning. Door locked, keys out, gravcar primed. Daria confidently backed the vehicle out into the skylane and set off to pick up Jane.
• Finn Morgendorffer 10: Finn the Brain, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): Daria tried to crack a smile. She did enjoy it when her brother felt awkward. If Finn had cheated on this essay, Daria would have condemned him. If Mr. O’Neill took it easy on him, Daria wouldn’t have cared. But this was something else. You get to be a brain now, Finn, Daria thought. What do I get to be?

A few more thoughts:

Before anyone writes to me about all the Daria/Harry Potter crossovers out there, and there are a fair number of them now, I was more interested in seeing an original fantasy or modern fantasy take on everyone being a spellcaster or wizard of some kind. It's hard to do. I took the alchemical route with "The Other," but there are plenty of other ways to go with it, like astrology, magic use involving critter familiars, "psychic" magic, tarot magic, critter summoning, necromancy, and so on. The crossovers are great, I love many of them, but something different and original would be nice, too. My humble opinion only. See what can be done with this.

We close with a fifth "witch," Madame Blavatsky from Beavis and Butt-head. Click on her name in Labels to read more about her in an earlier post. Ciao.

Daria's Role Model

Two fandom related events happened ten years ago today. Kara Wild posted a critical essay on one of the Daria fandom icons: "Amy: Savior or Chimera?" And Daniel Suni sent his very first fanfic to Outpost Daria: "End Weekend, End." In addition, Tiffany & Co. (for whom Tiffany Blum-Deckler was probably named) was founded in NYC 172 years ago.

A very weird and potentially useful fanfic plot idea was brought up by Malakite on PPMB. Won't spoil it here, but it might involve time travel....

And I discovered a fan movie for Daria made by the immortal S.C., and perhaps you might like to see it and share the awe. And turn up the volume.

PPMB

• Basic Training: A Daria the Green Lantern story, by Echopapa (Part 4): Daria and Trent’s conversation was interrupted by the form of the bartender flying across the room and landing in a heap against the far wall.
• Left for Dead, by TAG (COMPLETE!): The blonde girl in the bomber jacket tuned the old Gibson at the microphone before the lights came up, half listening to the cat calls from the audience as she waited for the rest of the band to signal readiness....
• Reusably Complex, by Ajar (Part 4): "Mr. Edwards?" "Call me Ken." "How did you get to sub here again? I mean last time my Mom threatened to sue the school for endangering the students."
• Scarlett the Fairy Goes on a Picnic, by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): On one fine summer day, Scarlett the Fairy flew over Lawndale City Park and basically enjoyed herself. Families were out and about; children played, pets scampered and even imaginary creatures were having fun here.
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part III), by jtranser (continued): "Each and every one of you has an unspoken desire to become a woman who emphasizes a life of passion expressed through her personal style," said Sandi Griffin. "Each one of you wishes to cultivate all life’s pleasures and have a fulfilling career. And you have failed. Every time. Only one person can help you achieve all that. And that person is me."
  
• Two Halves, by Dark Kuno (Part 4): “Hola amigos,” mumbled Jane around a large oatmeal raisin cookie as she approached the twins table. “Hola Juanita. ¿Cómo están esta noche?” returned Daria flatly. “¿Qué haces, chica?” prompted Alex. [FF.net]
  

The Possum-bilities Are Endless

Today is the 96th anniversary of the birth of Walt Kelly, the creator of Pogo, which was one of my favorite comics when I was very small. I trust anyone who remembers this philosophical comic strip will share fond thoughts about it with me. It is possible that Daria, knowingly or not, can quote some of Pogo's most famous sayings, many of which have worked their way into our culture. (Amy Barksdale, at right, is far more likely to have been an appreciative Pogo fan.) I know that at least one Daria fanfic writer is very aware of Pogo.

This is also the 174th anniversary of the infamous Moon Hoax, perpetrated by the New York Sun. Daria would certain find that story highly amusing. Curious that today some people think that landing on the Moon was a hoax. You can't please everyone, can you?

Stay tooned.

"Aunt Nauseam" Turns Eight

"Aunt Nauseam" the episode is eight years old today. One of the most interesting lines from that show, to me, was Quinn's recitation of Sandi Griffin's claim that "[I]f you want to get technical, all writing is plagiarism because you're using words that already exist." That was quite clever.

We also learn that Eric has apparently gone into detox for amphetamine addiction (again) and Amy Barksdale was not as cool as was earlier supposed. We learn that Jake knows something about Civil War cooking (American, not English or Russian or whatever), we learn the show's writers know how to continue a theme in a grand way (picking up from "I Don't"), and....

Wait a minute. Did Sandi Griffin actually type out the entire contents of Bram Stoker's novel, Dracula, and submit it to her teacher? Perhaps she downloaded it from the Internet instead, but that isn't what was said. In a way, this revelation is more interesting that the sororal battle of the Barksdales. Why did she pick Dracula, of all things? Did she actually read the entire book? Does she have a deep and true fixation with vampires, horror novels, Gothic novels, or something of that ilk? She talks about the novel as if it were important to her. Does Sandi have a secret... addiction to reading books? Intriguing.

There is a pun here, of course, involving the 1992 movie Bram Stoker's Dracula (the title of which Sandi was obviously imitating). Moreover, one of the alter egos used on the show has Sandi Griffin dressed and made up exactly like the Dracula of that particular movie. Talk about your running gags! See this link for the picture and details.

The connection between Sandi Griffin and vampirism has been explored in fanfiction, too, as noted earlier in this blog. Another Sandi-the-vampire story was begun by Smileyfax on FF.net, a very interesting tale called "Liquid Diet." (Moar, plz.) This is a fandom theme that resonates.

Anyway, happy eighth birthday to the nauseating aunts. And to Sandi Griffin's Dracula.

What is it with the tsunami of fanfiction lately? Whatever's causing it, I hope it doesn't stop!

FF.net

• Take Me on the Floor, by MandeeMistress (Part 1): [I was going to add a segment of the story here, but with a title like that, why bother. Daria/Trent shippers, have fun!]
  

PPMB

• Daylight: The Hope Mission, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): No human eyes saw the small vortex in space appear. It was there only for a moment, visible as it formed three hundred and fifty miles above the northeastern Caribbean—long enough for an object to appear and pass through. [Look for the cameo!]
• Regifted, by Ajar (Part 4): This is weird, Jodie thought. No parents around pressuring me to do things. Lots of people my own age fending for themselves. It's like Lord of the Flies but with a lot more Piggys.
  
• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): "Hey you two," Daria said as she walked into the room. "Hey, is that a cheeseburger?" she said with a slight pique of curiosity. "Sure is. Have some," she said, handing the cheeseburger over to Daria. "Oh gross!" Daria said as she lifted the bun to inspect it, "Pickles!"
• Unnamed story (Dead Like Me crossover), by Pinkminx (Part 6): The warm summer breeze glided around Daria's bared shoulders, encircling her as she plodded along the pavement; head down with her arms folded loosely across her abdomen. The vision of Mrs. Johanssen sweeping across the floor of Payday on a cascading kaleidoscopic sea of candy repeated itself once again in her conflicted mind. She was unsure of how she felt. Guilt was one of the prominent emotions, the guilt of her involvement in the death of an innocent woman, but more so the guilt of not feeling guilty enough. She was a grim reaper, Death, proverbial scythe at the ready, and it scared her that she was more than a little okay with that.
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Lorenzo Sauchelli (COMPLETE!): Daria was casually chewing gum as her car ran over a stop sign. She raised an eyebrow at the stares she got from the boys in blue and got out of her vehicle. "Whats the problem?" she asked to the nearest officer.
  

Are You in the Amy Army?

Rita Pietropinto Kitt, who voiced the snarky aunt Amy Barksdale on Daria, was married on this day eight years ago. She actually has an address for fan mail, so if you want to send her our regards, please do. (Amy Barksdale was married on September 8, 2001, of course.)

According to some mythologies, today is National Chocolate Day, but there seem to be quite a few of them. What the heck, celebrate anyway. Pig out.

This date figures in two different fanfics: Mystik Slacker's "The Journal of Daria Morgendorffer," and Sam Lincoln's "The Space Between." Check 'em out. LATE NOTE: Also a good time to read "Bump in the Night." (sorry, Richard!)

Bill Gates was born today only 53 years ago. I'm older than he is. Huh. How come he's rich and I'm not? Where's my sixty trillion bazillion dollars? Jeez. I use Windows because people who use Linux and Macs are chocolate-hating terrorists from the center of the Earth.

The oldest institution of higher learning in the New World was founded in the Dominican Republic 470 years ago on this day. Daria would like to know that.

And the Alaskan-Canadian Highway was completed on this day 66 years ago. In theory you can drive from Alaska to Argentina now, which I am sure Daria, the driving wus, would never do.

Latest addition to DariaWiki: Lilian Kressley. Thank you, Brother Grimace.


SPECIAL NOTE: It's not too late to do a fanfic for this thread! Hurry up!

Fallout Is Forever

Forty-six years ago, in an alternate universe, things went terribly wrong. Good thing it wasn't our universe.

On the good side, 35 years ago today smallpox is considered to have been destroyed forever, so at least we did something right as a species.

This is the day when the Gunfight at the O.K. Corral occurred, leading of course to the Okay to Cry Corral in Is It Fall Yet? and a fanfic about Doc Holliday.

More soon.

Amy Barksdale: Threat or Menace?

Nine years ago today, on the nose, the great and powerful Kara Wild posted the essay, "Amy: Savior or Chimera?" She makes some good points. Were all those fannish expectations about Amy a lot of hooey? Apparently so. Amy can sure hold a grudge. Is Daria like her after all, or not? (I think we argued this one out already, though. Oh, well.)

Legendeld has some more rants to rant. Read on.

I have a lot of new stories to mention, but no time to do it. More l8r.

When Jake Met Helen

According to C.E. Forman's "Fireworks," it was 40 years ago today that Jake Morgendorffer met Helen Barksdale at Middleton College. What a wacky couple of kids they were, and look at them now. Some people never change.

As a side note, it was not-sure-how-many-years-ago today, according to the Falling Into College series by Richard Lobinske, that Amy Barksdale tied the knot in the "wedding of the year" with a little help from Brother Grimace. September's just that kind of month, I guess.

LATE ADD: Wouter has drawn Daria as Batman nemesis Harley Quinn. That's Daria, all right. What is she bitching about now? (SFMB)

Planning the Revolution to the Last Micro-Detail

According to Kara Wild's DWU story, "All But Forgotten," go-getting teen tiger Helen Barksdale wrote in her diary on August 7, 1968: "In four weeks I'll be a college freshman. Prepare for the Revolution by purchasing tie-dyed clothing, taking lessons in controlled burning, and brushing up on my Bob Dylan." We know this because Amy read her older sister's diary and told everyone about it later. All that, forty years ago today.

However, as we see at left, things did not turn out the way Hippie Helen had expected, as feminism and Women's Liberation had barely gotten off the ground. Women still did all the housework and cooking while the men drank fermented spirits. (This pic is, of course, from "That Was Then, This Is Dumb.")

Today is the 80th birthday of famed magician and skeptic James ("The Amazing") Randi, whom Daria apparently likes and admires. She mentions him in one of her online essays at the MTV website.

Today is also the 105th anniversary of the birth of famed anthropologist Louis Leakey, who might have been able to explain Kevin Thompson had he lived long enough to meet Kev.

Enjoy.

Just Remember: This Is Scientific Journalism, Nothing More

The intensive scientific analysis of female characters in fictional works is part of a grand tradition in fanservice... um, fandom that goes back to the days of DC and Marvel superheroines. For example, many extremely advanced scientific studies have been made of She-Hulk, who has the largest breasts in the entire Marvel Universe according to Wikipedia (see the section under "Skills"), and the number of extremely advanced scientific studies that have been made of Power Girl is almost beyond counting (here are only four of them, to show you how extremely advanced they are: one, two, three, four).

With this message we take our leave of Amy Barksdale's, um, face and other body-image issues, and move on to different topics, like Amy's better-endowed older sister, Helen. And what happened to Rita? My gosh, talk about coming out on the short end. Anyway, that for later.

Full Frontal Amy, One More Time

Kara Wild suggests that Amy's face looks different from the front in the last season, so we'll take a look. From left to right, we have "I Don't," "Through a Lens Darkly," and "Aunt Nauseam."

And, son of a gun, she does look different in AN. She had a round face before in the earlier two episodes, almost circular in shape, but in season five her face is very oval and thinner horizontally. There is another frontal pic of her face from AN in an earlier message here which confirms the change.

This, my friends, looks like conclusive proof that Amy Barksdale lost a lot of weight between season three and season five, which is probably also why her boobs look smaller and her butt isn't nearly so big. Baggy sweaters can't hide everything. Crash diet or anorexia? Your call.

Amy Barksdale's... Face

The actual reason I started looking at pictures of Amy Barksdale was because of past complaints from Daria fans that Amy's face changes between seasons two and five. Above are screencaps taken from (left to right) "I Don't," "Through a Lens Darkly," and "Aunt Nauseam." Click on the picture to enlarge it, and judge for yourself. (Note: The "Aunt Nauseam" picture is flopped horizontally so she is facing in the same direction as the other shots.)

Discussion?

Amy Barksdale's Boob Job: A Global Perspective

Since the electrifying discovery announced in my last post, I have spent hundreds of hours in close examination of the affected area, looking for clues that might shed light on what happened, when it happened, how it happened, and why. That's the true nature of journalistic inquiry: keep your eyes on the prize.

At left are some of the results of my investigation. (Click on the picture to see a larger version.) We see four photographs of Amy Barksdale at home, wearing a tight, revealing camel-colored blouse that delicately accents the magnificent gifts that generous Mother Nature conferred upon her. As the less sophisticated elements among us would say, she is stacked. This is in the third-season episode, "Stacked Like Me." No, wait, I meant "Through a Lens Darkly." Sorry.

But woe! In the final image from "Aunt Nauseam," we see a different Amy, an Amy whose purse strap doesn't bow out from her chest to get around nature's generous obstructions, an Amy whose sweater lines go straight down. Ye gods, what has happened?

I hasten to point out that there was no urgent medical reason for the breast unenlargement, because if there had been then there would have been a Very Special Episode of Daria about it, and since there wasn't it didn't happen, so there. We must look to non-medical causes, like that rat bastard Joel. I bet it was his idea.

I am overcome and can write no more about this. It is too much to bear. You may talk amongst yourselves until we continue with a new topic, after my recovery.