It's Not Over Until the Fashionista Sings

Quinn's just getting warmed up for her big opera performance in honor of Giacomo Puccini's birth on this day in 1858. She'll be part of the command performance of the composer's opera Madame Butterfly in the automotive department at Payday.

In more modern birthdays, today is also actor Ralph Fiennes's birthday! I'm sure Amy will be giving him a call to pass along her best wishes. Or a request for a date. Or at least to lift the restraining order.

Fandom News!

• See a Christmas wish from Daria herself!


• Share some funny clips to cheer up at the end of 2020.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Carrie White and Mary Lou Maloney.


• Three new Iron Chefs have been posted: Charles RB's Daria, Earth-Two, cfardellbrenorenz29's Runaway Daria, and sarcasticsponge's Secret Genius Quinn.

Hope They Can Finally Learn to Share

Amy's just calling up her favorite actor, Ralph Fiennes, to wish him a happy 52nd birthday. Of course, she might have to wait until he gets off the phone with her sister Rita. Don't forget about "Ralph...the actor I've been dating." Do I sense yet another sibling drama on the horizon? Or will the rivalry end when poor Ralph falls on a cow during a freak skydiving accident, too?

Fanfic Update!

• "Aw Mama...Can This Really Be The End?", by Scissors MacGillicutty (part 30): "'You had this all this time and you did nothing with it?' 'Bunk, I didn't even know who had jurisdiction—'"


• Dinner for Two, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "When Daria reached Michael, she put her arm around his waist and examined the table. Neatly arranged was a pair of roast game hens, mashed potatoes, oyster dressing, green beans, cranberry sauce, and a pair of miniature pies. In the middle of the table, a single candle burned."


• First Day, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "The perky, anointed one's taking entirely too long in the bathroom. Again. Wonderful. Over-groomed little brat."


• Intermezzo, by UU (COMPLETE!): "Jane ran down the hallway of Lawndale High, angry tears welling up in her eyes. Turning a corner, she plowed into a petite redheaded girl, knocking her down, then stumbled, and slammed chest first into the drinking fountain."


• The Many Doctors, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 31): "It had been days, possibly over a week, since the Doctor and his companions had meet the previous Doctor and Tamsin had started travelling with them."


• Misery (Ideas!), by Princess_Pasta (COMPLETE!): "He was getting ready to truly begin, inspiration giving him the energy he needed to try out his new composition, when he heard a voice that instantly put him in a bad mood. So much for that."


• On The Cutting Edge, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Tommy Sherman learned to follow and trust The Voice. It was a woman's voice – smooth, sultry, not too sexy - and smart; you could hear that she had some brains in how she talked, but she wasn't a bitch. "


• Outclassed, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "Sandi stood on the sidewalk outside of Lawndale High and stared at the front doors, willing herself to move forward and go inside and begin the first day of her senior year. Somehow, though, she found she couldn't move."


• Possibilities, by Sureia (part 26): "It was rare these days that Helen got to see the kids off in the morning, although was it really seeing them off if they hadn't left yet? She mulled this over for a bit as she sipped her coffee, fighting the urge to gulp it down like she usually did."


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 19): "Jane walked into the room to find Daria stretched out on the sofa reading The Critique of Pure Reason while giggling."


• Soviet November, by UU (COMPLETE!): "The elevator doors slid open. She took a deep breath and stepped out into the vast, marble-lined lobby of the Oktyabrskaya Hotel. They were waiting for her."


• Time and the Titanic, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "As soon as the sisters were in the door, a flash of light emanated from the living room. They were knocked off their feet..."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Quinn sat down quietly on the couch next to her big sister. Daria didn't look up from her book. For a few minutes, the living room of Schloss Morgendorffer was silent. Finally, Quinn spoke. 'Sandi tried to bathe in diamonds today.'"


• Unsolicited Advice, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Still feeling sorry for yourself, Thomas? Still attempting to justify your bad behavior by placing the blame on others?'"

Birthday Wishes from His Number One Fan

Amy is just phoning her favorite actor, Ralph Fiennes, to wish him a happy birthday. He turns 51 today, and with any luck he's forgotten about that restraining order by now.

Fanfic Update!

• Ah, Hell, by metameric1 (part 1): "St. Peter handed him a glowing white harp. 'Go on in, kid. Welcome to Heaven.' Trent stared at the peculiar instrument dolefully, wondering how far he could push his luck. Heaven?"


• Blame It on Ansel Adams (Dusty's Crazy Pairings Thread), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Stroke. 'Your turn.' 'Hmmmmm,' Looking up. Finger on chin. 'I'm going to the picnic, and I'm bringing...um...angel food cake!' Brittany said excitedly."


• Calling Dan Webster, by RangerLou2 (COMPLETE!): "Riding home in Sandi's car, Quinn was staring out the window trying to think of how to go about this extra credit thing she had to do. As a result, she wasn't paying any attention to what Sandi was saying."


• A Great And Good Christmas #1 (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "'So, got any big plans for Ashley's birthday?' Jane asked. 'Well, we're heading out to Ocean City to see Z-Shift. I managed to get some tickets a while back,' Daria replied."


• It's Not Easy Seeing Green, by getrealordie187 (part 1): "In Highland she had stagnated but had been, in Lawndale she'd lived, and maybe Angel Grove was where Daria was going to die."


• Little Pink Book, by Snow-Kitty (part 1): "Anthony ignored Kevin's moronic enquiry and scanned the room once more. His piercing gaze landed upon a mousy haired girl with braces sitting in the second back row. 'Ms. Brookston? Do you know what happened in the Teapot Dome Scandal?'"


• Monday, by ashk09 (part 1): "An auburn-haired woman, maybe around twenty-five or so, was looking at him with a slight smile tugging at the corner of her mouth; McKay decided that she was rather pretty, in a geeky, stays-up-all-night-playing-Warcraft kind of way."


• Paige Turner (Shorty Shorts), by ognawk (COMPLETE!): "As he looked to his left, he noticed one girl in particular who was attracting the attention of most males in the vicinity. She had a lean figure, with long, black hair that went past her shoulders, ruby red lips and was wearing a blue tank top and black skirt, with stylish black shoes."


• Rude Awakening Chrismas (TAKE 2): A Christmas Tale, by DIsaac (part 1): "TODD: Well it's Christmas time in New England. No place I would rather be ... TOMMY: What the hell are we doing here in Boston. I'm freezing here!"


• Star-Crossed, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "WHUMP. With a whoosh of suddenly displaced air, the shape appeared. It was a large blue phone booth labeled 'POLICE' above the doorway, still steaming from whatever physics-defying process had brought it here."


• Tidings of Comfort and Joy (LongSnakeMoan's Fluff Thread), by LongSnakeMoan (part 1): "It was weird to be back. For a moment Quinn almost thought it was weird to be home, but she stopped herself pretty quickly. Highland wasn't home anymore, if anything Lawndale was home now, not that she'd ever admit that to anyone, but it was strange to see all those places she remembered from childhood still there, perhaps even a little cleaner than she remembered."


• Unbearable 2: The Lady and the Tiger, by Smijey (part 2): "'What's this about a bear?' the tiger asked, lazily, curiously. '...And now, ladies and gentlemen, a talking tiger,' Jane said dramatically. 'My life is now complete.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "As Daria gazed her blurry eyes into the laptop screen, another yawn escaped her mouth. Instead of trying to cover up the sound, she just reached for her glass and took another swig of bourbon. she wished that she had more energy, but that wasn't possible."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: Do What Now?), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'Quh-winn, you really should take those colored contacts out. They're so...unfashionable.' Sandi placed her hands on her hips, as if to say 'so there'. Quinn cocked her head in response, an odd grin warping her features. Her green eyes were unreadable."


• Untitled Crossover, by Scissors MacGillicutty (parts 1 - 4): "'You got the cash?' 'Yeah, yeah, I got—where's the—'" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)


• A Wee Bit Crazy, by Smijey (part 1): "Mrs. Bennett clasped her hands together, a wild, joyous expression on her face as the last of the students filed into the class. 'Excellent, everybody's here!' she exclaimed, more exuberant than normal. 'Class, with your permission, I'd like to deviate from the planned syllabus today.'"


• You Only Live Once... So YOLO! (Scenes that should be: Pacific Rimmers), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "One day as Ms. Barch went on one of her usual 'Kill all men!' rants in what was supposed to be science class. One student rose up quietly from his seat, fondling something in his hands."

NEWZ FLASH! Torn Between Two Sisters!

In the grand tradition of the worst supermarket gossip tabloids, mega-actor Ralph Fiennes (born 47 years ago today) once found himself torn between the steamy lusts of two oppositional sisters: the brainy and cynical Amy Barksdale (left) and the blonde Rita Barksdale (right). As you recall, Amy confessed her undying devotion to Ralph (pronounced like Rafe, rhymes with safe) in "Through a Lens Darkly," but tragically lost him to the scheming Rita before the airing of "Aunt Nauseam" (Rita: "... I promised Ralph—you know, the actor I've been dating—I promised to take him to New York for his birthday, maybe catch a play or two.") Thus, we know "Aunt Nauseam" takes place near this day, in December about 1999-2000.

Why would two animated sisters find themselves catfighting over this man? A close look at Mr. Fiennes in his best known work outfits, shown below, reveals all. No wonder these hot-blooded women cast aside all sororal affection and civilized decency to have him for their very own!

Another cold case solved by the unstoppable Detective TAG. (Thanks once again to the awesome UU and Pinhead for the great images above!)

Movie Quiz: Name the three roles that Ralph Fiennes played in the three movies represented in the above images. Then say what it was about each role that got the Barksdale sisters so hot and bothered. On the other hand, maybe we'd best skip that. And skip the part about how Helen Morgendorffer fits in there, too.