This Spud's for You

Sorry about reusing the Beavis and Butt-head "Mister Potato Head" image so soon, but I stand here before you to tell you, in complete seriousness, that today is National Potato Day. You are required by law, regardless of the country you live in or wished you lived in, to eat something that has to do in some way with potatoes: mashed potatoes, French fries, cheese fries, potato chips with or without ruffly ridges, whatever. I know you will your best.

Today is many other things as well: National Aviation Day, Gene Roddenberry's birthday (from whom we get Trekkies), Ogden Nash's birthday (from whom we get snarky poetry), World Humanitarian Day, and two years from now, Daria faces death on an alien planet. Yay! So much goodness, don't know where to begin.

Soooooooooooo... we'll start with fanfic.

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• The Cornfield, by Smileyfax (Part 2): "How was your first day at school, Daria?" "I almost killed the school counselor," she answered matter-of-factly, watching Quinn as she listlessly pushed her food around her plate. Jake forced a laugh. "Ha HAAA! What a sense of humor! What about you, Quinn? How was your first day?" Quinn met her father's eyes for a half-second, then resumed rearranging her food. Jake carried on like Quinn had replied to him. "That's great, honey!"
• Daria/Dorian 7: Motorcycles and Jocks Don't Mix, by LadieT (Part 1): "Hey, Dorian and Jane... doesn't Kevin look like a rebel in his new jacket? The one he got for Christmas wouldn't fit over his shoulder pads so we had to exchange it." "Where's the bike?" Jane asked. A confused look came over Kevin's face. "Huh?" "That's a motorcycle jacket," Dorian replied. "It's made out of leather to protect you from scrapes when your head's bouncing off the grill of a truck." Jane immediately added, "If you're just wearing it for style, then it's a waste of a perfectly good cow."

• Finn Morgendorffer 56: A Journey to Eternity, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 4): Lindy laughed. “Are you free this weekend?” “I am,” Finn replied. “What’s up?” “A party. The 80's. Can you fashion disaster it?” Finn laughed. Theme parties were kinda fun if done right. And the 80's had music as great as the fashion was ugly. That would be a fun night.
  
• First Loss, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Jackie watched the blonde storm off with a small smile. It had been cruel of her, true, but if anything was true about Jackie it was that she always spoke the truth. Kevin beamed his dopey grin and Jackie blew him a kiss for good measure. He hadn't remembered her at first, but it was hard to hold it against him. Soon the assembly was over and as the students began filing out, Jackie tossed her feathered hair and caught one of the military-looking guys' eye. A wink and a smile and the deal was done.
• NEWER! God Save the Esteem 2: Fight for Your Invite to Party, by Charles RB (Parts 1 and 2): Quinn was going through her leather gear and trying to find the skimpiest ones she could. “Hmmm... one inch after bra or half inch? One inch or half inch, one inch or half inch...” “Is this a bad time to mention there’s a cold front coming in?” Daria stood in the doorway, the cloud behind the silver lining. “Go away, I’m concentrating. There’s some big party in Crewe Neck on Saturday and we’re gonna be crashing it.” “Countdown: T minus 72 hours. Might this be Brittany’s party?” “Yes, and might you... how do you know about a party?” “I’m invited. Not sure if I’ll go yet.” “You’re invi... MUM! DAD! DARIA’S SELLING OUT!” (NEWER! Part 2)
  

• Grove Hell 2: All the Lawndale People, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): The nearer she got to Tuesday night, the worse Daria felt. Her stomach was full of acid and she was sweating, and she’d have to go through the notes every so often to avoid outbursts. She’d managed to blank out for the entirety of Maths but, luckily, Mr Ewing was used to people doing that and hadn’t picked up on it. The one bright spot: Jane muttering “everything’s set up, and I’ve ensured Trent will be awake. Well, I will ensure. I have heavy boots.” T minus six hours and counting.

• NEW! Import/Export, by Brian Taylor (Part 1): "Hey, kid," said a voice that shouldn't have been talking, two hours after it shouldn't have been saying anything. Daria Morgendorffer had heard a lot of voices since she'd been thrown into Cook Country for using grabby fingers to fill a hungry belly. Such were the ways of the world.; such was the spirit of the times. None of those voices ever said anything worth hearing. Usually, they just wanted something. Usually that something wasn't something any sensible somebody in a skirt wanted to hear.
  

• In Any Other World, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): “Girls, I realize it’s not easy moving to a whole new town... especially not for you, Daria.” She didn’t respond. She’d been staring sullenly out the window for the whole journey. “I know it was hard losing your room and Mr Van Driessen and everything, but—” “Can you drop me off here?” interrupted Quinn. “I want to make a good impression on the first day, that really helps with your rep—I mean, blow it and everyone’s gonna remember you for that, it’s like that big bird thing 'round your neck, and it’ll just look better if I arrive at school on my own and not with—” She paused just for a second. “—my dad. It’s kinda lame.”
  

• Jane Lane Tries to Do Some Begging, or, Writer's Block Comix 2, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 2): At this dramatic juncture in the narrative, there came a brisk, masculine knock at the front door. Such knocks were not always good news at stately Lane manor, especially when the parents were away. Sometimes there were truant officers behind them; since it was still summer, that seemed unlikely. But, sometimes there were process servers upon the moors; was that a possibility? Jane didn't know of any bills in the red zone, but it was so easy to miss something!
• NEWER! Kolchak: The Lawndale File, by Chris Tucker (Parts 3 and 4 and 5): "Ladies, I'm almost finished, please, sit and I'll be out of your hair in a minute." "Thanks, that's very kind of you." Her voice seemed to be sincere, but there was something maybe a little sarcastic... I don't know. She took the bench opposite me and her friend, a taller girl with stunning blue eyes and three rings in her ear joined her. The first girl spoke again, something about me being new here. "In town or in here? Yes, to both." I introduced myself, and the two girls were suitably unimpressed. Can't say as I blame them. (Part 4) (NEW! Part 5) (Daria/Kolchak: The Night Stalker)
• NEW! The Lane That Wasn't, by LadieT (Part 20): Jane knew the moment of decision was fast approaching. Reaching down once again, a smile came over her face. Feeling the warmth, Jane thought about her life as she knew it. There were very few occasions when she felt the sense of familial love. Everyone of them involved Trent. This new life was surrounded by it. If this road is encircled by it, then Trent's road should be, too. More importantly, if she chose this other path..she wouldn't lose Trent. The one person who mattered most to her in this life was still going to be her older brother.
  

• Legacy, by Getrealordie187 (Interlude 5): Sandi sits up straight in her chair, furious at the other girl's audacity. "Where do you get off talking to me like that in my own house while you call my mother by her first name and tell me about how I talk to my friends? Who do you think you are?" The brunette sits on the grass and stretches her legs out. "We're not in your house are we? This is your mother's house and she encouraged me to call her Linda when I met her earlier this week. I just think its hilarious the way you talked to that little pig-tailed girl, because you need all the friends you can get right now and you don't appear to have any.
• Moving Pictures IV (formerly The Camera IV), by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): "And here I always thought the only reason you'd ever show school spirit is if..." One of the floodlights sputters out. The auditorium lights come up. A tall, scrawny kid with glasses ducks on stage from behind the curtain. Kelly emits a sudden, loud laugh. "Now I get it!" "Get what? You can't get anything," says Amy a touch too quickly. "There's nothing to get." "You're not doing this for money. You're doing this because Joey Caswell's working tech and you just want an excuse to skulk in the shadows and stare at him." There's a pause. "Shut up," Amy hisses through what sound like clenched teeth.
• Unnamed story (Commune-ists), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "OF COURSE we ran away! They were going to make us eat GOAT CHEESE! HOMEMADE GOAT CHEESE!"
  

• Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "And so," Daria Morgendorffer said, hands clasped behind her back as she paced in front of the suspects in the Great Lawndale High Bake Sale Caper. "The crumpled pay stub found in the basket where the cheerleading squad had their chocolate-covered bundt cake, along with the bottle of eye drops found under the Fashion Club's table when their Eyeshadow Cookies were stolen started pointing to a member of the Lawndale High faculty..." "Ms. Morgendorffer," Ms. Li said. "You can't seriously be accusing a teacher at Laaaaaawndale High to be a low-down pastry-pilfering thief!" (Daria/Captain Caveman)

• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Gangster School?), by Smileyfax (COMPLETE!): "Alright, youse mugs, simmer down!" he called out. "My name's 'Tommy' O'Neill. You know why the call me Tommy?" He opened the violin case, seized out the Thompson submachine gun inside, and emptied a clip into the ceiling. Bits of plaster rained down upon the students, all of whom seemingly unaffected by the insane act. Daria herself flinched and slumped down lower in the seat. "I wanna talk to youse all about realizing your actuality, and you all better stand up afterward and proudly proclaim 'I am', capische?"
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Gangster School?), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): [Won't spoil it for you!]
  

• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: In Search of "Donor"), by Wormbait (COMPLETE!): "Wow, you actually had an affair with that?" Jack asked his friend while watching the auburn-haired woman in the pantsuit rail at her family from by the door to the restaurant where they were supposed to meet. "You must have been a lot braver when you were younger, Danny boy. Not hard to guess which one's yours."
  

• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: The Misery Chip), by smk (COMPLETE!): "Are you sure you want to try the scenario again? After what happened last time?" "Well it's completely ridiculous! Women of the day were expected to have careers and fulfill traditional female roles in the home, it's no wonder the pressure got to them. Although that woman you had me play was simply absurd! Constantly railing at everyone because a relationship ended? And besides, what do you think holodeck safety features are for?" "Very well. We'll be starting in a couple hours. But this time, please remember that it's a science class, not a combat scenario." (Daria/Star Trek: The Next Generation)
  
• The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser (continued): "'No, Jane, this one I'll have to do alone. I can't risk anyone else being trapped in his web and eaten." "Why not, Daria? What about the limitless hordes of fanatical simuloid followers you picked up in that mystic's dream, what's his name, Doobie Baba?" "Ashlune Bubanabaar. I checked. They're busy." "That, or scared shitless." "Can you blame them?"
  

Call Me a Tramp, Will They?

Sir Charles Spencer "Charlie" Chaplin, famed English movie actor, director, musician, and political activist, was born today 121 years ago. Mr. O'Neill does a passable impersonation of "The Tramp" at right, especially in black and white like most of Chaplin's early movies. A depiction of Jane Lane as The Tramp (ouch!) appears in the Daria's Inferno computer game (left).

This is also Emancipation Day for everyone living in Washington, D.C. Party hearty!

In The Daria Diaries, the review of Mystic Spiral in "Muck and Rage" appeared on this day, but we're not sure which year.

In my list of unfinished stories a few posts ago, I forgot one extra-good one from long ago...

• A Sarcastic Beginning, by Thea Zara: OMG, what I wouldn't give to know happened next!

And now for the fanfiction...

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• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): "Damn! Jane, what did you do to yourself? Your mouth, your eyes, your whole face....hell, your whole body! You - you look glossy! You look like you've been photoshopped!"
• NEW! Falling into College: The Clip Show, by RLobinske (Part 3): Karen walked across the main Quad and said, "From time to time, we managed to have a little bit drama around here, like the first time Michael asked Daria to marry him. Nice thought, lousy timing."
  
• NEW! A Few Years Difference, by Vlora (Part 5): "Well, class, we have a special guest today," O'Neill chuckled in a way that would strip paint off walls. He looked expectantly at Daria, who was sitting in the front right corner of the room. She was busy playing with a pencil when she looked up, smiling very vaguely at the class.
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 42: The Suburban Symphony, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 7): ”I’m not done. Finn, She might be bad at times, but she’s not always. And you, of all people know this. You and Daria may have had your moments, and I’m sure it was intense. But you know, she’s helped you, too. A lot. More than you’ll admit to me.”
• MOST NEWEREST!!! Jacob Morgendorffer, Esq., by CAP (Part 8): How Vincent and Amanda could leave their children for weeks on end seemingly on a whim at times was beyond him, especially leaving them in the care of Summer, whom Jake would not have entrusted with a goldfish.
  
• NEWEREST! A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (continued): Daria hurried to the library. She was bundled up against the cold Indiana January, with heavy coat, scarf, hat, and gloves, but still the cold wind cut right through her. Classes had begun only a few days ago, but between her work and helping Kevin, she felt like she'd already fallen behind. On this chilly Friday, the library offered a needed haven, both from the cold and the chaos. Kevin was on his last round of revisions, thanks to a heroic effort on both their parts, which meant she had a day or two to herself to catch up. She yanked the door open, struggling against the wind, and all but leaped inside.
  
• Some unnamed concept that I will name later, by SigDiff (continued): “We want to make the world like it was before,” Daria continued, “only better. It has to be better, or else we'll all end up right back here, in a destroyed civilization where people barely survive off the land and children grow up without even learning to speak.”

Apocalypse? And How!

This day marks the 86th birthday of justly famed actor Marlon Brando, who gets some subtle mention in Daria. Brando's famous role as a renegade Army officer in Apocalypse Now is parodied in the alter ego with Timothy O'Neill at right. (See this image for comparison.) Other scenes from that movie are referenced in "The Daria Hunter," particular with Mr. DeMartino's dark imitation (below left) of Brando as the insane officer of Apocalypse Now.

I was poking around in MTV.com and noticed two startling news items about Marlon Brando and... wait for it... Beavis and Butt-head. You have to read these two (here and here) to get it. Whoa! That's just bizarre!

What else is going on... I'll have to post all the new fanfiction here later today. Stay tooned for moar.

The Final Word on Luuuv

We at the DFB2 hope that this Valentine's Day brings you significantly closer to your Significant Other(s). And remember, if you can't be with your Significant Other(s), you can always rent.

Or, you know, not.


Enjoy.

"O'NEILL... SMASH!...... HAVE A NICE DAY!"

Marvel-ous comics-miester Stan Lee is 81 today. Tim O'Neill appears here as the Incredible Hulk in his honor. (Thanks, UU and Pinhead!)


NEW ART NEWS FLASH!

• VLORA EXCEEDS THE SPEED OF COSMIC EPIC WIN!!!

You Won't Believe This, But...

Today is POTATO DAY! YAY!

And one other website on that issue, and we're done with Mr. O'Neill.

Today is also National Aviation Day in the U.S. I think we are supposed to fly or something.

Also, three years from this day, Daria will face death on an alien planet! Yay! Oh, wait, sorry. I meant, um, oh no!

New/revised Backgrounders: Dawn, Winner, Cindy, Green Cap Dude.

FF.net has some adult-rated Daria fanfic, so if you are interested, go and check it out. Not sure if I should list it, you tell me.

What's on PPMB is below....

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• JUST IN! Bleeding Minds, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Daria walked in on a horrifying scene. Jane knelt on the carpet in the center of her room, a kitchen knife held in her left hand. A steady stream of red dripped from her elbow to soak into the thick nap of the rug. Jane glanced up at her friend's entry and her eyes lit in a mad, heartbreaking smile.
  
• Bromwell Bound: That One Fateful Summer, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): [Repost of excellent story from FF.net. Welcome, HolyGrail2007, to PPMB!]
• Daria the Hoosier, by Doggieboy (Part 7): “You can talk to me, Daria,” she said. “I may be an adult, but I can listen well and not be judgmental. After all, I do remember what it’s like being a teenager.” She waited a few seconds, then added, “I know that you and Jim are friends, but I also understand that there are some things girls just can’t talk to guys about.”
• Love Is a Series of Burning Sensations, by Undefinedlust (Part 11, continued): "So you'll be able to make it tonight?" Daria asked Jane as she opened her locker. "Of course, how could I miss my best friend's eighteenth birthday party?" Jane replied as she noticed an envelope fall from Daria's locker. "You dropped something." She said as she picked up an envelope with Daria's written name on it.
• Once More, With Sitting, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): "What's that smell?" Lauren said as she opened the door. Lester followed and said, "It smells like something from college. I know, it's pizza." "Pizza?" Lauren said. Raising her voice, she called out, "Daria!" (FF.net)
  
• JUST IN! The Other Side of Time: Unfinished Business, by The Sidhe (continued): “It was considered advisable to have the Sloanes, as well as the people who were putting them up, under police protection on the off-chance that this was a vendetta of some kind against the Sloane family,” the police officer said. “Or that this was the work of some people who had an unknown grudge against the Sloanes.”
  
• Regifted, by Ajar (Part 13): Monday began similar to any of the last few days for Jodie. She awoke from her two-and-a-half-hour sleep and took the final pill in Marina's bottle so that she could get enough energy to stumble through her school day. At first, classes seemed to proceed as normal, giving no hint at the fact that this day was to become the worst day of Jodie's life.
• JUST IN! Sis Boob Bah, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "It's like a nose job, only lower."
  
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part III), by jtranser: She could not remember how far she'd run. Her biocongruence with the ship was broken. All the electronics, devices and machines at her command were unable to detect the Maugher and therefore she was unable to destroy him.
• Transcript, by Raskolnikov (Paret 1): Laura, hon, I know you collect… let’s put it this way… “interesting” interrogation transcripts. I’m pretty sure this one will have a high place in your particular Top Ten. Enjoy the read.
• True Crud, by Pinkminx (Part 2): Sheriff Timothy O'Neil and Detective Anthony DeMartino's flashlights lit up the dank, dark corner of the alley behind McGrundy's, as they studied Brittney's body. Detective DeMartino crouched down and poked the implement that had been driven through her chest; originally thought to have been a tire iron, the object in question, was in fact, a curling iron.
• Unnamed story (Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "See me! Feel me! Touch me! Heal me!"
• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Brains for Rent), by Roentgen (plot bunny): The game was called "Enemies List". Each of the participants had a list of 16 players and a list of 16 positions designed as "friend" or "enemy." The purpose of the game was simple: don't kill your friends, but kill your enemies.

A Non-Serious Contender

One hundred twenty-four years ago today, former General of the Army William Tecumseh Sherman was asked if he would run for President of the United States on the Republican ticket. He famously replied, "If drafted, I will not run; if nominated, I will not accept; if elected, I will not serve."

Relevant to Daria? You bet. Daria Morgendorffer references this Shermanesque statement not once but twice. In "Boxing Daria," Mr. O'Neill (seen at left as a Union soldier from the American Civil War) asked her if she had "given any more thought to helping out with the freshman tours." Daria replied,"If nominated, I will not run. If elected, I will not serve," which is how Sherman's statement is usually paraphrased. Later, she entitled her final essay on MTV's Daria website "If Totally Requested, I Will Serve" (in a return to television, that is, though after her author's byline she adds, "A Non-Serious Contender").

Hard to believe you can actually milk both pictures and quotes from this series on a day-to-day basis, isn't it? Daria was a show that was really in touch with pop culture and history.

NOTE: Derek has added a page to the DariaWiki on chat rooms. Interesting and useful, too!

And . . . a special announcement! Today is the third birthday of Heather and Damsel Morgendorffer! Congratulations, kids, and congrats to Mom Daria and Mom (i.e., Dad) Jane!

The Tramp Lives On

Charlie Chaplin, famed English movie actor, director, musician, and political activist, was born today 119 years ago. Mr. O'Neill does a passable impersonation of "The Tramp" at right, especially in black and white, like most of Chaplin's early movies.

Today is also Emancipation Day in Washington, D.C., when all slaves in the District of Columbia were freed 146 years ago, even before the Emancipation Proclamation was put into effect. Yo!

Still not online, hope to be back shortly with a very nicely upgraded system. Never thought I'd see the day when having 1 GB RAM and a 1 GHz processor was passé.

It's Tartan Day! Wear Your Kilt!

Timothy O'Neill, cleverly disguised as famed Scottish hero Mel Gibson, introduces us to Tartan Day, which to be honest I had never heard of before until I read Wikipedia, which is where I figure out what was supposed to have happened each day so I can stick something Daria-ish here to celebrate it. Whatever. Break out your kilt and throw some logs! Play golf! Watch some Mel Gibson movies! Or not. He's not all that nice when he's drunk, is he? But I guess none of us are. Wonder what Tim would do if he got drunk. Interesting fanfic idea there.

I forgot what I was about to say. Oh. I'll be out much of the day and so will take a break from posting more goodies, and there are a lot left to do, more than I would have guessed, including tiles to use as background on your computer screen.

Cheers!

It's Time For . . . DOCTOR SCIENCE!

Today marks the twenty-ninth anniversary of the nuclear accident at Three Mile Island, near Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, which resulted in a release of radiation that affected only one person: a young English teacher named Timothy O'Neill, who was driving by the Three Mile Island nuclear plant on his way to take a job in the Lawndale school system. As a result of his exposure, Tim mutated into a fearsome half-ton creature of unlimited rage and might. Self-esteem issues caused him to go on a rampage and destroy the cities of Altoona and Scranton before heading toward Lawndale, where he taught Language Arts and headed the Drama Horizons club until April 2002, when he was laid off due to budget cuts and destroyed Wilmington, Delaware.

This has been "One Minute with Doctor Science." We now return you to your regularly scheduled Internet surfing.

My Brain Hurts

I had something incredibly awesome to post here, but my head cold erased all the information. I have no idea what it was, except that it was awesome.

[thinks] Nothing there. Dang.

I will post updates on this situation as events unfold. Stay tuned. We now return you to your regularly scheduled program, Dallas Does Lawndale, already in progress.

LATE NEWS: I added more links and more link categories at left, including a shopping mall (sort of). Let me know what you think.