Call Me a Tramp, Will They?

Sir Charles Spencer "Charlie" Chaplin, famed English movie actor, director, musician, and political activist, was born today 121 years ago. Mr. O'Neill does a passable impersonation of "The Tramp" at right, especially in black and white like most of Chaplin's early movies. A depiction of Jane Lane as The Tramp (ouch!) appears in the Daria's Inferno computer game (left).

This is also Emancipation Day for everyone living in Washington, D.C. Party hearty!

In The Daria Diaries, the review of Mystic Spiral in "Muck and Rage" appeared on this day, but we're not sure which year.

In my list of unfinished stories a few posts ago, I forgot one extra-good one from long ago...

• A Sarcastic Beginning, by Thea Zara: OMG, what I wouldn't give to know happened next!

And now for the fanfiction...

PPMB

• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): "Damn! Jane, what did you do to yourself? Your mouth, your eyes, your whole face....hell, your whole body! You - you look glossy! You look like you've been photoshopped!"
• NEW! Falling into College: The Clip Show, by RLobinske (Part 3): Karen walked across the main Quad and said, "From time to time, we managed to have a little bit drama around here, like the first time Michael asked Daria to marry him. Nice thought, lousy timing."
  
• NEW! A Few Years Difference, by Vlora (Part 5): "Well, class, we have a special guest today," O'Neill chuckled in a way that would strip paint off walls. He looked expectantly at Daria, who was sitting in the front right corner of the room. She was busy playing with a pencil when she looked up, smiling very vaguely at the class.
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 42: The Suburban Symphony, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 7): ”I’m not done. Finn, She might be bad at times, but she’s not always. And you, of all people know this. You and Daria may have had your moments, and I’m sure it was intense. But you know, she’s helped you, too. A lot. More than you’ll admit to me.”
• MOST NEWEREST!!! Jacob Morgendorffer, Esq., by CAP (Part 8): How Vincent and Amanda could leave their children for weeks on end seemingly on a whim at times was beyond him, especially leaving them in the care of Summer, whom Jake would not have entrusted with a goldfish.
  
• NEWEREST! A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (continued): Daria hurried to the library. She was bundled up against the cold Indiana January, with heavy coat, scarf, hat, and gloves, but still the cold wind cut right through her. Classes had begun only a few days ago, but between her work and helping Kevin, she felt like she'd already fallen behind. On this chilly Friday, the library offered a needed haven, both from the cold and the chaos. Kevin was on his last round of revisions, thanks to a heroic effort on both their parts, which meant she had a day or two to herself to catch up. She yanked the door open, struggling against the wind, and all but leaped inside.
  
• Some unnamed concept that I will name later, by SigDiff (continued): “We want to make the world like it was before,” Daria continued, “only better. It has to be better, or else we'll all end up right back here, in a destroyed civilization where people barely survive off the land and children grow up without even learning to speak.”

Of Human Lab Brats Bonding

"The Lab Brat" (left) turns 13 today, and "Of Human Bonding" (right) turns 10. Happy Episode Birthday to you both!

Quinn Morgendorffer's favorite real-world TV star turns 43 today. Can you guess who it is? The answer lies here.

The very first edition of Noah Webster's American Dictionary of the English Language was copyrighted 182 years ago today. Odd, it still doesn't look like anyone's using it to check the stuff they write on the Internet.

The Human Genome Project was completed seven years ago today. Daria had something to say about genetics in one of her online essays at MTV.com. What kind of kids would Daria have if she could "geneer" (genetically engineer) them?

Enough of this. Instead of talking about new fanfiction, let's do something completely different.

UNFINISHED FANFICS I HAVE LOVED (ver. 3.0)

A couple years ago I began a semi-regular series in this column to rave about my favorite unfinished stories. This fandom regularly produces astounding fiction and artwork, considering its small size. Many of the unfinished stories are as exciting to read as the complete ones. Unfinished tales have considerable influence over later fiction, too—super-cool ideas brought up by one author might find new authors to bring them off.

Some of the following Works in Progress appear to be at least a third to half completed. A good number are what I call “First & Last Chapters,” because they end right after Chapter One. A few might lack only one chapter more. So much potential, so many places they could go!

Here’s my current faves list. Sit back and enjoy. Oh—stories previously covered in this column will not be mentioned here (not yet, anyway). We’ll get back to them later. For now, let’s explore new titles. You have some ideas on unfinished fanfics that YOU have loved? Tell me (and everyone else) about them in Comments.

SCIENCE FICTION, MYSTERY, AND HIGH ADVENTURE

• Antiestablishmentarian Hikers, by Lawndale Stalker (Lawndale Lurker) (SFMB): The classic school bus trip from Hell, way over the top and worth the ride. LL moved the story well along from where LS left it, but more is called for. Where are Daria and the gang now? Will they survive the wilderness, or will only a few make it home? And what of the volcanoes? Comedy, adventure, thrills—this packs them all. I gotta know how this ends!
• The Best and Brightest, by Smijey (Smileyfax): Daria stumbles upon a little secret involving Lawndale—or is it a big and dangerous secret? What does Jane know? Where is this going?
• Crouching Monster, Hidden Magic (Daria/The Dresden Files), by LSauchelli: LSauchelli’s modern-magic crossovers with The Dresden Files were exciting indeed. Much deadlier than the Harry Potter stuff, a real mind-blower at times. Any hope of seeing this tale continued, if not adding more tales to the story series?
• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious, by Jim North: I have few worries that this story will be soon finished. This SF series is a grabber and a keeper. Keep ‘em comin’!
• Daria’s Web (Daria/Spider-Man), by Fezenclop (Ranger Thorne) (part 2 on SFMB) (part 3 on SFMB) (part 4 on SFMB) (part 5 on SFMB) (part 6 on SFMB) (part 7 on SFMB) (part 8 on SFMB) (OD): Daria is Spider-Girl. Terrific story with fast-moving action. MOAR!!!
• Downbelow, by Smileyfax (FF.net): Jane Lane is no longer in Lawndale. She’s lurking under it. And she wants Daria to join her. Can’t lose with this one.
• End over End, by Shull Bitter: Jane dies. Wait, she’s alive—but maybe not for long. A nail-biter just getting underway.
• Fimbul (ex-More Apocalyptic Daria), by NightGoblyn: First-person Jane tale of a devastated Earth with many familiar faces. This is gold SF. Moar, plz.
• Into the Fray, by Minx (FF.net): Daria, Quinn, Jane, and Mystic Spiral are on a road trip that’s interrupted by a war—the Second American Civil War. A real shocker, lots of excitement (and doubtless angst!) ahead, great writing by a great new talent.
• The House on Space-Time Lane (Daria/Doctor Who), by Lawndale Stalker (part 2 on PPMB) (part 2 on SFMB) (OD) (1111 Space Time Lane, early version): I can’t tell if this one is finished or what. I adore it. LS, where the heck are you?
• Lawndale’s Finest: Action Stories #4—Power Struggle, by Jim North: A superb action/superhero series that should never ever end. Jim’s contribution is up to the grand style we’ve come to expect. And the characters fit the DC Universe perfectly!
• Liquid Diet, by Smileyfax: Sandi Griffin has several times been linked to vampirism, and this tale (even unfinished) is one of the better ones.
• Manse Griffin, by Smileyfax: Another Sandi tale, in which she inherits a house with secrets unrevealed.
• The Melancholy of Daria Morgendorffer, by Wraith (additional scene here): Wraith has a genius about him when writing anime crossovers. Even from these fragments, a great tale beckons. See if you agree.

• The Mystery Chick, by LSauchelli: What if Jake Morgendorffer had been a detective? What would Daria be like now? This tale provided some answers.
• Shadows of a Timeless Song (Daria/The Lord of the Rings), by Dennis: I honestly didn’t believe anyone could ever pull off this crossover, but Dennis does—and also adds more crossovers to boot. I have to know what happens with Hermione in the mix!
• Survivor Diet, by Smileyfax: If this one is pulled off right, it could rank among the best horror tales in this fandom. “Antisocial Climbers” has a very different ending. Lots of students go up a mountain, but not so many come down again. Let us say that the missing students had a very tasteful fate. This had me rattled with its first (and only) chapter.
• Tracksuits, by Malakite: In a dystopian future America, Sandi Griffin is on the run—but from who? And why? And what the hell is Quinn doing?
• Unnamed story (Daria/The Wire), by Roentgen: This one just grabbed me, and I have never once watched The Wire on TV. Marvelous crossover in such a tiny fragment.
• Wrylight (Daria/Twilight), by Minx (FF.net): Tongue firmly in cheek, Minx leads us through a wacky crossover in which some of Lawndale’s citizens might be vampires. A lot of them might be vampires, in fact. And some are good friends with poor, innocent Daria.
  

ANGST TO THE Nth POWER

• The Leggy Chick, by TheEleventy: I believe this author is back among us. This tale is one of many he left incomplete that cries out for more. A car wreck kills Daria and Trent, but leaves Jane crippled. How she puts her life back together—and who enters her life to help—create a tale to remember. It really takes you places. Excellent stuff.
• The Misery Chick, by thatLONERchick: This tale was listed as complete in 2008, but was later continued. I would definitely love to see more of this sad AU in which events in the original episode called “The Misery Chick” go horribly awry.

OLD-SCHOOL SHIPPERS

• Chances (ex-Don’t Leave Anything to Chance), by Coonassblondie: A Jane/Jesse shipper, uncommon in the fandom nowadays but handed quite well by a welcome new talent. I wouldn’t mind seeing where this one leads.
• A Few Years Difference, by Vlora (PPMB): Borrowing an idea from another unfinished tale, Vlora works out a believable background to have an older Daria start the series—just old enough to meet Trent on equal terms. Oh boy! Shipping at its finest.
• Our Time Now, by Charliefox2012: We return again to the Daria/Jane slash shipper, but this story is well told and draws the reader in nicely. (Do not confuse this with this story.)
  

A WALK ON THE WILD, WILD SIDE

• D.A.R.I.A., by Greystar: Daria’s a robot. So is Quinn. Jane just found out and isn’t handling the news so well. What could possibly go wrong? A very engaging freak-out about reality gone wrong.
• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser: The freakiest freak-out of all, only a whisker ahead of Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part III). This series makes my brain all ‘spody. Hang on if you haven’t read either of these yet.
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn: Daria crossed with A. E. van Vogt in a mind-bending adventure across two planets in a psychotic future in which the Game is All. This rivals jtranser’s future histories for sheer inventive brilliance. You’ve got to try this one.
• Inner Universe, by Malakite: I haven’t seen an idea carried out like this since the days when Renfield was among us. The series as we know it exists only within the mind of a wildly psychotic high school student named Jane Lane. This has to keep going.
• Personable Computers (Daria/Chobits), by Trscroggs: Daria and Jane are animated computers. I really need to see the story this was based upon. This fragment is too, too crazy.
• Shining Star: Temporal Conundrum, by RLobinske (old version): Everyone else but me seems to know what’s happening in this out-there tale, but I’m fine with being ignorant and intrigued. This is just so… out there. Continue!
• Taking Tea in Dreamland, by Micka: I can hear Renfield’s ghost whispering to me in this one. Daria’s having a nightmare… that might be horribly true. (To begin with, her name isn’t Daria. It’s Jane.)
  

COMEDY CLUB

• Daria: The Untold Story, by Ajar: A wild and mirthful “behind-the-scenes” account of what was really going on when Daria was being filmed. It was semi-usurped by a similar thread but did quite well for itself. I’d love to read more of this.
• The Handmaidens of Narcissus, by TheSecretSharer: Daria as if done by William Shakespeare. And it works. MOAR MOAR MOAR!!!
• Harry Butt-head (Daria/Beavis and Butt-head/Harry Potter), by Deep Metal: This guy has done some funny stuff on FF.net. Keep poking him to continue this one!
  

MORGENDORFFER FAMILY FOLLIES

• Finn Morgendorffer 42: The Suburban Symphony, by HolyGrail2007: Quinn becomes Finn, a boy, in a retelling of the series with Finn Morgendorffer at the focus. I admit I was lukewarm to this series when it began, but now I am horribly hooked. It makes me want to tear out my hair sometimes, I get so involved. Excellent stuff.
• Folie à deux, by Charliefox2012: Another Morgendorffer Family variant: Daria’s twin sister Darla, who has Daria’s looks but not her brains and personality. This one is just getting started, but I anticipate becoming just as crazed about it as the series about Finn Morgendorffer.
• Jacob Morgendorffer, Esq., by CAP (FF.net): In an alternate reality, Helen Morgendorffer has one simple idea—and the entire series and its world is changed as a result. Excellent AU construction, logical and deftly told with a conservative touch, with characters filled with life.
  

SCHOOL DAZE

• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding (ex-First Day of School, or What Might Have Been), by Roentgen (continued here): One of two brilliant reinventions of the series that take place at schools other than Lawndale High. Superb characterization and startling plot twists make both this and “Regifted” treasures in the making.
• See Jane Ride (a variant of Worth the Blood), by TheEleventy. Jane is in college—developing a new form of art. Highly realistic, marvelous characterization, much fun.
• Regifted 2: I Put Away Joyless Things, by Ajar: The episode “Gifted” jumps the tracks in this AU as Daria and Jodie transfer to Grove Hills. This convoluted tale of classmate treachery and intrigue continues to thrill. Poor Jodie!
• The Substitute (Daria/DC Heroes), by Echopapa: Lawndale High gets a very different substitute teacher in the episode, “Lucky Strike.” I desperately want to see what happens next in this bizarre crossover.

Tigers & Golfers & Siblings, Oh, My

Love animals? The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals was created 144 years ago, and this is ASPCA Month, to boot. Do something nice for your pets today. They deserve it. The huge porcelain ceramic tiger at left is courtesy of the Taylors' residence and the WayBack Machine.

This is also said to be Golfers Day, for some reason. If you are a golfer like Jake & Jesse, any reason is a good reason to golf.

Finally, for the Darias & Quinns out there (or the Janes and Trents, or the Amys, Ritas, and Helens), it's National Siblings Day. Call a sibling and say, "I love ya, man!" Unless it's your sister.

The 2010 Big List o' Finished Fics is done, up to 4/8/2010 (not including today). Give it a look and see what you haven't read yet!

Also (mostly) done: the 2010 Big List o' UNFINISHED Fics. See what needs work and send out the pitchforks!

COSMIC EPIC WIN! Minx offers us Jane Lane as Mathilda, from The Professional. I am not worthy! I am not worthy!

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 42: The Suburban Symphony, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): “We’ve got to get to the post office quickly.” Jane remarked. “It’s about to close. Trent, do you want to give us a ride, or not?” “Sorry. I can’t support my little sister becoming a sellout. Do it if you want, but don’t ask me to help.”

Addendum & Errata for My Favorite Unfinished Stories (ver 2.0)

Need to tidy up some issues here.

The previous batch of favorite unfinished stories, dating from mid-January of this year, named several stories that have indeed been finished since the list was posted. These heroic authors brought their ships safely into port, thank Jane.

• Lane Change, by Ranger Thorne: Excellent Daria/Doctor Who crossover, mind-blowing adventure.
• The Misery Chicks, by NightGoblyn: wtf?!?! omg omg omg omg omg omg!!!
• Same Drum, Different Tune, by Roentgen. A wicked AU in which Helen and Jake stayed hippies into their late 40s. Oh, the humanity!

And there was great rejoicing. In the Sorta Clueless category, I discovered that two stories I had previously listed as "unfinished" were in fact finished and had been for some time. In abject shame I hereby publish their titles and authors, with groveling apologies (rend garment, fall prostrate, cast ashes on head, etc.).

• Daria Disenfranchised, by Napalm Kracken. Actually finished in 2006.
• Scene Cut from “Aunt Nauseam,” by Lawndale Stalker. Actually finished in 2005.

I have more to say on the subject of unfinished stories, but will save it for later. Enjoy.

My Favorite Unfinished Stories (ver 2.0, part 3)

And here we go again with a couple fanfics I forgot from PPMB and some stories from other sources (SFMB, FF.net, etc.), all thrown together in alphabetical order, almost. I skipped some works in progress because they look like they will finish up nicely without my prodding. As for the rest....

• Bed and Breakfast Man, by Ruthless Bunny. A major work by a master writer, who said in an interview that she was going to finish this (emphasis mine). The story appears to be 98% finished anyway, so it wouldn't take much (nudge nudge)
• A Daria Sutra, by sleepylotus. One of the very few Daria/Tom shippers that rang true. This one was literally going places.
• My Nights at Daria's Anthology, by lupinsmoon12391. The poetry is good and delivers long-remembered shocks. This was labeled a WIP, so WIP it! More poetry!
• Phlegm Noir, by Scissors MacGillicutty. I cheated and looked at my older posts (which you can access by clicking on "unfinished fanfic" under Labels), and realized this story has a chance to see the finish line. We can only hope. It was whack. (Did I say that right?)
  
• One Year Later, by NightGoblyn. For a long while my favorite Daria/Harry Potter crossover was Daria Morgendorffer and the Magic Maguffin, by Ranger Thorne. Alas, that one doesn't look like it's going to make it any further, but an equally good Daria/Harry Potter crossover has appeared: NightGoblyn's "One Year Later" (which has Scarlett!). It would be lovely if that one (or, better, both of them) hit the winner's circle soon. Great adventure stuff.
• The Walls of Jericho, by NightGoblyn. Daria operates a pirate radio station after she arrives in Lawndale. She won't talk to anyone. She has no friends. Everyone hears her, no one knows her. Lonely, spooky atmosphere. Enormous potential. Love it. (The title was a late addition by the author.)
  
• The Young Switcheroo, by Smileyfax. Of all Smileyfax's unfinished stories on FF.net, this one most rox my sox, and given his considerable talent that's saying something. (My only corrective advice is to reread carefully to pick out the incorrect Daria & Jane names, as identity is critical.) One of the most unusual and creative AUs ever, and most excellently told.

and my most favorite of all unfinished Daria stories:

• Working Girl, by Kara Wild. Brilliant look into Quinn's mind after high school, her need for independence battling her need for connection with her family. Marvelous psychological study that does not fail to touch the heart. Kara occasionally adds portions to this, touching up things here and there, so stay tuned. Even incomplete, it has had a great impact on my own writing (e.g., "Invisible Planet").

I do reserve the right to add more stories to this list as afterthought allows. Read 'em and see what you think.

My Favorite Unfinished Stories (ver 2.0, part 2)

Continuing where we left off from PPMB....

• House in the Woods, by Angelinhel. Shivery good atmosphere. I can't standing waiting for the bogeyman to pop out.
• Housing Daria, by Lorenzo Sauchelli. Two great TV shows rolled into one, and it works. This is such a fun read, and House is just awful (which made it even more fun). Avoids sentimentality in its best moments and grins wickedly.
• On the Couch, by Durgarox. We got the marvelous fan art, now we want the fanfic! Ship ahoy!
• Once Upon a Time at College, by Lawndale Stalker. Daria and Upchuck at a poker game. C'mon, this is priceless! Woo-hoo!
• Quinngali, by Nemo Blank/Scissors MacGillicutty. A twisted little cruller with fangs. I've got to know how this one ends.
• Shadow of a Cynic, by Ranger Thorne. A surprising but very welcome crossover that was touching and exciting both. Needs to be gathered into one thread, though; I can't track the five completed chapters all over the place.
• Snuff the Rooster, by Cypher. Nothing but fun, fun, and more fun, begging for more. Intelligent and clever, too.
• Stuck Inside of Lawndale with the Metafic Blues Again, by Gregor Samsa. Metafics really grab me. The audience call-outs here are catchy.
• Unexpected, by Nemo Blank. Maybe Nemo Blank will let someone else finish this, if he's not able. The tale ran off the road and was picking up speed, and it was awesome. The title says all.

My Favorite Unfinished Stories (ver 2.0, part 1)

About a year ago I made up a list of some of the Daria fanfic stories I most wanted to see completed. It seemed like a good idea to apply the pitchfork once again to see if a few great stories can be brought to their well-deserved finales. If nothing else, they make excellent reading, which is a winner right there.

Some caveats:

First, this is not a complete list of all the Daria fanfics I want to see completed. I'm picking out of different sources, some that I did not use before. The following batch is from the back files of PPMB, but even then I didn't search Iron Chefs or pages much past 2005. And I left out some good stories that I'm reasonably sure won't be completed period, alas.

Second, I did not look back at the previous listing I did, because time has moved on and it seemed like a good idea to start fresh. Duplication with the previous list is certain, but who cares.

Third, there will be more posts coming in this vein.

Fourth, if you happened to have written one of the stories I mention, please take this as a show of applause and not a fiery pitchfork in the sensitive and vulnerable rear. I mean only to offer praise. And a potential for even more praise. If you get my drift.

Fifth, if your stuff isn't on this list it's probably because you finish your stories. Or you've indicated you aren't going to finish your stories. Or you disappeared from the fandom after the aliens got you. I might even be getting to your stuff in a few posts, so hang on. In any event, take no offense. These stories, IMHO, must go first.

And now the first half of the PPMB list. Please read along and post your own comments and favorite unfinished stories.

• The Bible, by Scissors MacGillicutty, et al. This round robin was hysterical. It could be picked up and run along, though I would suggest finding some spot to close it down and do so, so it could be posted.
  
• Big Jake's Harley-Davidson, by Ranger Thorne. Man, this was wonderful. A warped alternate-universe twist that no one saw coming.
• DAR, by Gregor Samsa. A very engaging tale about an annoying computer system. I really want to see where this one is heading.
  
• Daria at Forty, by KatrinaMedina. An appealing and realistic future story with a punch right in the gut. I could see this happening, start to finish.
  
• Death Rowe, by bgryphon. A spooky tale that is waaaaay out there. A potential Halloween monster.
• Esteemsters Reloaded, by Decelaraptor. Good family comedy is hard to find. This one was pretty darn decent.
• Expectavi, by Ranchoth. A delightfully wicked tale of Daria's future career. The style is excellent.
  
• Fandemonium, by Angelboy et al. Another round robin that was just plain fun. Any way to continue and end this?
• Foggy Lawyer Breakdown, by Lawndale Stalker. This one was kinky. I would love to see it continued, with more on how the Morgendorffers cope when Helen goes completely bonkers.

That's enough for now. Part 2 later. Peace out.

Yet More Unfinished Stories I Have Loved (Part 3)

Let's finish this up, shall we? It's eating my brain.

People Who Need People, by LOTR_Dan: This Tom/Stacy shipper (if that is the right word for it) startled a lot of readers when it appeared. I still have to know how they woke up together, if you get my drift. I think we all want to know.

The Pro, by TheEleventy: Daria, Jane, snowboards, and a helpful instructor who makes Daria blush. TheEleventy was extremely good at adding in sensory details that made the stories he told as lifelike as life, and he hammered it down here. I would like another five or six chapters of this, please.

Same Drum, New Tune, by Roentgen: Jake and Helen retain their hippie lifestyle when they move to Lawndale, kids in tow. This struck me as an attempt to wrestle with class values, which became important to Daria only when she began dating Tom Sloane in the series. Here, the Morgendorffers seem to be even lower on the economic scale than the Lanes, and that is saying something. Roentgen has served notice that he intends to finish this one, and I eagerly await the results.

The Secret Life of Penny Lane, by TheEleventy: Penny Lane is not who she seems to be, and the terrorists and revolutionaries who go up against her don't live long to regret it. A fast-paced thriller about a CIA agent who doesn't know when she's beaten. Nice cameo with Andrew Landon, too.

Sponger, by TheEleventy: This story and “Daria’s Goodbye Wave” painted Daria and Jane as surfer bums after they drop out of college, disenchanted with their lives and looking for something more. They find it riding the waves. TheEleventy pulled it off rather well and created a fine read, while it lasted. Sigh.

The Unlikely Match, by TheEleventy: Kevin/Amy says it all. Kevin is a bit out of character, not as totally dumb as he is in the series, but he's much more appealing here and I am inclined to forgive the OOC. Shipping him with Amy Barksdale was a master stroke. The story sucks you in and that's all she wrote. Shame it ended just before Daria found out (WTF OMG!).

Where is this one going?, by RedlegRick: Daria battles a world of post-9/11 paranoia in this well-handled tale that badly needs a new title. Daria is very much in character as a college student wrongly accused of having terrorist sympathies after she is caught up in a police sweep following a riot. This is a terrific read, highly realistic, and keeps you on the edge of your seat. MORE!

and . . .

Iron Chef: Conversation with Dumb People (unnamed story, Daria as radio DJ), by NightGoblyn: I forgot what NightGoblyn planned to call this AU story, in which a very antisocial Daria comes to Lawndale but doesn't make friends with anyone at all, not even Jane. She puts together a low-watt radio station and broadcasts from her family's basement, answering letters she gets from her fellow students at high school. However, the other kids don't know that the voice on the radio is actually Daria. The fragment of the story that exists is a real trip; you have to read it if you haven't already. This could be a really great work.

That's it for now. If I come across any other unfinished stories I want to see finished, you will hear about them here. (I haven't brought up the various Daria series that I want to see finished. That for later.)

Yet More Unfinished Stories I Have Loved (Part 2)

Fandemonium, by Angelboy, et al.: This one was plenty weird, a multi-author collection of vignettes depicting the Daria cast as fans of a TV series called "Fandemonium," playing off on our own fandom. The "Fandemonium" characters were Daria fanfic authors. The serial had no real end point, being more like an extended slice-of-life story, and it would be great to see it continue.

Foggy Lawyer Breakdown, by Lawndale Stalker: Love the title. Love the premise, too: Helen has a nervous breakdown in her high-stress work as an attorney, and Jake, Daria, and Quinn must work to make ends meet while Helen recovers. A very engaging AU. Cross your fingers.

Going Corporate, by Nemo Blank: Dilbert and Daria. Need we say more? This had great potential, but it is unlikely it will be finished by the author. Alas.

House in the Woods, by Angelinhel: A creepy horror fic with great atmosphere and a mystery that has not been fully revealed. Moar, pleez.

In Dreams, by Scissors MacGillicutty: Way beyond strange. Daria and Jane discover a library in an infinite shaft, through which pages of fanfiction float eternally downward. I have to know what the hell was going on in this one. It was cool.

Lambda, by SigDiff: Daria crosses over into the Half Life game, battling the alien Combine with the help of Jane and a few other survivors from long-lost Lawndale. A bleak world where death is everywhere and survival is all. I like it.

My Name Is Lane, by NightGoblyn: Raymond Chandler writes a hard-boiled story in which Daria learns who her real mother is, as told from Jane Lane's perspective. You have to read it to get the full feeling. Let us hope there is more to come.

Not Exactly, by MsHand: A sequel to MsHand's story, “Priceless,” this details what happens when the Morgendorffers cannot afford to send Daria to Raft after all. She goes instead to Lawndale State, where she meets up with Amelia and loses touch with Jane (who made it to BFAC in Boston). The story wrapped up too quickly with some plot threads begging for further exploration.

Obligatory Artie-Fic, by RedlegRick: Imagine what would happen if UFO-obsessed Artie became the target of every government conspiracy imaginable. What would happen is that you would get this story. I liked the humor and the out-of-control plot. New title needed, but the story rocks.

(to be continued)

Yet More Unfinished Stories I Have Loved (Part 1)

The heck with it, here are the rest of the Tales That Must Be Told, IMHO. Alphabetical order is followed. Pitchforks will be passed out shortly.

Anger Meets Her Match, by TheEleventy (ri0t, hey): A hard-knocks Andrea/Mack shipper that totally rules. TheEleventy was at the top of his form here. I have the impression the story was almost done when it stopped.

Big Jake’s Harley-Davidson, by Ranger Thorne: One of the most unexpected AUs + weird shippers ever, one that will leave you stunned and smiling. And it has HARLEY HAWGS!!!

Cole Barksdale, by CAP: This intriguing serial had just gotten underway when it stopped. Who is Cole Barksdale, and what is his connection with the Morgendorffers? Much mystery, lots of unanswered questions.

DAR, by Gregor Samsa: This is hysterical. Daria gets a self-aware AI for a personal computer, and the doors into Chaos are opened. I was beside myself waiting for the next chapter, and I still am.

Daria and Jane Go to the Moon, by echopapa: A rarely seen historical AU for Daria, in which America's space race accelerates under the leadership of JFK, who is not killed in Dallas in 1963. The title makes the plot very, very clear. More, please!

Daria Disenfranchised, by Napalm Kracken: One of the best reinventions of the Daria series ever done, this collection of stories turns the Dariaverse on its head and deserves continuation. Lively dialogue, sharp characterizations, excellent use of the script format, lots of fun.

Daria Morgendorffer and the Magic McGuffin, by Ranger Thorne: A really good Daria/Harry Potter crossover that kicks righteous booty from square one, from a phone call from "Uncle Albus" to the train on the way to Hogwarts. Daria and Jane seamlessly replace Harry and Ron, promising a memorable adventure or two (or more). We await a continuation with baited breath.

Death Rowe, by bgryphon: Bizarre as hell. Stacy Rowe commits suicide but is returned to life, or something like it, by a mysterious figure in a hooded cloak with a scythe. This exploration of the borderland between life and death was eerie and wonderful, and the revelation of the cloaked figure's identity is a shocker, but entirely plausible. The implications are mind-boggling. This begs for many more chapters!

(to be continued . . .)

Unfinished Stories I Have Loved (Part 3)

And last, but hardly least:

Sarcasm at 1600, by Mike Xeno: Roentgen had the good taste to finish the "R" story I most wanted to see completed ("Reclamation"), so I will use two "S" stories, and this is the first. (We're skipping the "Q.") An adult Daria is running for the presidency as an independent candidate, and many of her old classmates (and Tom!) get involved in her campaign. Very well handled, smart and clever and, tah dah, appropriate given that this is an election year. More, please.

Shadow of a Cynic, by Ranger Thorne: With a little creative work on Jane Lane's family tree, she becomes a relative of the original Shadow, but it's Daria who must learn the paranormal secrets of the Shadow once Tom Sloane is murdered. (And no, a dead Tom is not the reason I love this story.) This tale really put your nerves on edge, waiting for the next battle with evil. It kicks ass.

A Time for Us, by aeverett: An unknown writer appeared a few years ago and began a strange tale of a Daria thrust back a few years in time, when she encounters Trent and Jane before Daria originally came to Lawndale. This fic was heading into Daria/Trent shipping territory but had a powerful edge to it, as Daria was struggling to save the siblings from abandonment and ill prepared to handle her feelings for Trent, who is about her age and drawn to her. Rarely has anyone popped into this fandom, shown such promise, and vanished without even finishing the first story done.

Unexpected, by Nemo Blank: Of all Nemo Blank's unfinished stories, this is the one I most want to see done. Twenty-something Daria and Jane get into the wrong line at a Boston courthouse and end up getting married by accident, and that's just the start of this perverse epic with comedy and drama enough for all. You have to shake your head and wonder where this could have gone. So much potential . . .

Working Girl, by Kara Wild: This coming-of-age story for Quinn Morgendorffer is perhaps the finest unfinished story of them all. This is a work of great character and depth, with a profound atmosphere of alienation and loneliness. Quinn struggles through the painful minefield of young adulthood with the sometimes help of her Aunt Amy. A breathtaking performance by any standard, and a fitting follow-on to Kara's superb Driven Wild Universe. A masterwork.

Yuki-Onna, by Sleepless: Remember what I said about "Broken Connections"? This story does all that and coats it with sheer horror. This story gave me bad dreams. It was worth it for the chance to descend into the lightless pit Sleepless has here prepared. You were warned.

Sorry, no "V," "X," or "Z." More of the unfinished stories I have loved later. Enjoy.

Unfinished Stories I Have Loved (Part 2)

To continue . . .

Housing Daria, by LSauchelli: A Daria/House crossover, in character. Delightful, heartwarming wickedness. With any luck, LSauchelli will finish this one very soon. It's a winner.

In and Out, by SigDiff: This fic had one of the most awesome works of fan art ever done, a pic of Jane with a red Mustang done by S.C. The story was awesome, too, exciting and tense and crazy. Daria and Jane as bank robbers on the run—he really pulled it off! SigDiff has stated he won't finish this, but he left the door open for someone else to try. Let's hope for the best.

Judith, by Erin Mills (a.k.a. Shallow15): Since 2003, Erin has produced a number of ficlets (e.g., "Misnomer" and "Research") dealing with a psychopathic young woman named Judith who is murdering Daria Morgendorffers in every alternate universe she can find, no matter how bizarre. As it happens, Judith is the middle name of a Daria Morgendorffer from a universe where she turned out to be a very bad person. (Shades of The One!) How did this happen? Why is she killing all the other Darias? Who can stop her? These stories were my first exposure to multiple AUs in this fandom. A fanfic that offers more depth into what makes this misery chick tick would be welcome.

Lane Change, by Ranger Thorne: No "K" title, so here are two "L's." This one is currently my most favorite unfinished Daria/Doctor Who crossover ever, and it is by far the absolute wildest of them all, even crazier than the complete ones. Shock after shock, thrill after thrill, a magnificent job. And only one (approximately) chapter left to go!

The Longest Year, by Greystar: What if Daria got pregnant by Tom? This tale gave the answers and did it well. Some nasty twists take place in the background, but front and center is Daria, coping as best she can with impending motherhood—which she doesn't necessarily want. Great stuff.

The Misery Chicks, by NightGoblyn: I want to call this story hard-hitting, but that is such an awful pun, considering. Psychologically damaged, Daria and Quinn arrive in Lawndale, and only Jane can help them . . . maybe. Riveting and well told, with a nightmare of angst lurking below the surface. MOAR!!1!!1!1!!

Notes from Exiles, by Scissors MacGillicutty: The first Scissors story I ever read (when he was called "et alia"), and I was hooked through the gills. Daria's dumped everyone and gone to France, leaving a sister and a former best friend behind in Boston. We spend a rootless, restless evening with Quinn and Jane in a haunting story that cannot be forgotten.

Once Upon a Time at College, by Lawndale Stalker: Daria and Upchuck in a college shipper? LS was always great at making this pair work, but this partial story rose above the rest. The most disturbing thing about leaving this story incomplete is that we never get to see the poker game with Tom and Upchuck in which Daria plans to use her natural assets (boobs) to win—and she's in character! You can't believe it, and it's great!

Phlegm Noir, by Scissors MacGillicutty: I was trying not to mention any writer twice, but I can see that this won't be possible. Scissors has recently mentioned he plans to continue this story, and thank God. He was challenged several years ago "to write a short Daria fanfic in which a character from that show shouts, at some dramatic point, 'Top of the world, ma!' Angst would be nice but is not required, and comedy is allowed." Lying, treachery, backstabbing, double-dealing—this story is so much fun, it's criminal.

More to come.

Unfinished Stories I Have Loved (Part 1)

There are two kinds of unfinished fanfic: the stories you want to see completed more than anything else, and the other stuff. Being the Daria slut that I am, I want to see all the unfinished stories brought to their proper ends, but there are some I think deserve to be ended more quickly than others. Here are a few of them, alphabetically. (I reserve the right to produce another alphabetic collection of unfinished stories in the future, so stay tuned.)

Aw Nuts, by DJW: A Daria/Squirrel Girl crossover in which Daria brings her new friend home from college to meet the family . . . and her squirrel-phobic father, Jake. What's not to love?

Broken Connections, by Sleepless: Angst and melodrama by the gigaton, plot twists that tear out your heart, violence and tragedy and death. God help me, I loved it. Sorry, I'm starting to drool. Be right back after I find a towel.

The Cobalt Bomb, by Ranchoth: Daria played out with forest animals. This was sooooo weird and clever. But what was that title all about? I want to know!

Daria at Forty, by KatrinaMedina: A startling and dramatic take on Daria's adult life, with marriage, motherhood, divorce, and what came after. Older readers like me can relate to this Daria very, very well.

Esteemsters Reloaded, by Decelaraptor: A joyous take on the Veronica fanon in which Jake and Helen's love of sex produced more kids than you could shake a, um, stick at. This was wild and always brought a smile.

FBCB, by Wraith: Cute, funny, bizarre, and so in character. The Fashion Club enters an anime world and becomes a quartet of super-girls with super problems. This series was adorable, and that's the correct word for it.

The Goths, by TheEleventy: Under his many nicknames, TheEleventy (a.k.a. ri0t and hey) produced some of the most appealing serial shippers ever seen, unique takes on the characters in alternate worlds or after high school, with unexpected romances. This story had Quinn as a Perky Goth with an older brother named Darius, newly arrived in Lawndale and about to hook up with some interesting people. I've been dying for ages to see how this one (and TheEleventy's many other stories) turned out.

If you agree with me that these stories MUST BE FINISHED AT ALL COSTS BY GOLLY, bring out your pitchforks and sharpen 'em up. More to come.