So Long and Thanks for All the Cheers!

It looks like Brittany is enjoying National Dolphin Day very much, but I think she'll find it hard to hold her pom-poms with flippers. On the bright side, she's probably much smarter as a dolphin than she ever was as a human being.

Please, no one tell Ms. Barch that today is Ex Spouse Day! I'm worried that it might set her off, but now that I think about it, for her every day is Ex Spouse Day. And it's nothing to celebrate for her!

Finally, on this day in 1997 and 2000, the episodes "The Lab Brat" and "Of Human Bonding" first aired. Although there weren't any dolphins featured in either of them, Brittany ended up completely drenched changing the water in Upchuck's fish tank in the first one. I guess she didn't stay out of the splash zone.

Fanfic Update!

• Green Around the Radiator Grills, by wilddogjj (COMPLETE!): "Kevin was hanging out in the parking lot with some of his teammates after practice. The group included the three Js as well as Stacy's older brother, Adam. The other guys watched as Adam was shining his car, a 1999 Pontiac Trans-Am T-top." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Is It the Purge Yet?, by laycoolhero8 (part 1): "'Next on Sick, Sad, World.' Daria rolled her eyes and then switched the channel in hopes there was a channel that didn't go on ad-break."


• The Muliebrity, by janendaria4life (parts 1 - 4): "Daria had agreed to dye Jane's hair. She was terrible at painting, let alone dying her best friend's hair for the first time striped to resemble a tiger."


• Mysteries of Aurora, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 14): "Freya first looked at the place the manuscript had been. Nothing looked out of the ordinary. The shelf looked ordinary and the neighboring manuscripts were mostly undisturbed."


• Opposites Detract, by Bolshevitch (part 2): "Jane’s face burned red with embarrassment, even as she tried to keep her eyes on the road and away from all parties involved. Daria thought the shade wasn’t that far off from her top."


• Long Distance Prank Calls (Mini Crossovers), by cfardellbrenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "It was a normal busy day at Vitale, et al. The phone rang."

Watch Out for Tuna Nets!

Brittany's having a great time for National Dolphin Day, but someone should warn her that it's going to be difficult to hold her pom-poms. The half-time show back flips are going to be something else, though!

Today is also the anniversary of the episodes "The Lab Brat" in 1997 and "Of Human Bonding" in 2000. No dolphins in either, but there was a traumatized mouse in one and a bumblebee pajamas in the other.

Fanfic Update!

• And then Jane was a P-Zombie (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "As Daria Morgendorffer awoke one morning from uneasy dreams, she found herself in a world filled with philosophical zombies."


• Doctor Who - Changes in Time and Space, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "The Doctor followed Sigrun into the console room and immediately went to the scanner."

She's Probably a Lot Smarter Now

Brittany has traded in her pom-poms for flippers in honor of National Dolphin Day, but I notice she kept the ponytails. Kevin's in for a big surprise on their next date.

Today is also Ex Spouse Day, but don't tell Ms. Barch. Unless you want to hear a long rant about lazy good-for-nothing layabouts.

Finally, today is the anniversary of both "The Lab Brat" in 1997 and "Of Human Bonding" in 2000. Speaking of bonding, I still wish there were more scenes in the show of Jake and Kevin together. That's a friendship that should have been explored!

Fandom News!

• Talk about cartoon characters which are most like Daria.


• Check out a Daria RPG by the late Voice of My.


• Join in the 1002 Deaths of Tom Sloane thread.

They Call Her Chipper, Chipper....

Just when you thought Brittany couldn't get any perkier, she goes and turns into a dolphin for National Dolphin Day. She's probably a lot smarter now, too.

Today is also the anniversary of both "The Lab Brat" in 1997 and "Of Human Bonding" in 2000. No dolphins in either that I can remember, but Brittany did have to change the water in Upchuck's fish tanks in the former. Does that count?

Fanfic Update!

• Business Boom, The Aftermath, by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Jim is cowering in a fetal position on the floor while a visibly concerned Quinn, Daria, Tommy, Timmy and Teddy look on. Quinn immediately rushes to her husband and gently shakes him. Quinn: Jim! JIM, LISTEN TO ME!! You're going to be alright!" (Part 3)


• David M., by ST91 (part 8): "John felt strangely nervous that night. It wasn't due to the fact that he was going to a very important party but to his brother's strange behavior."


• An Invitation, by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "Loredas evening arrived, the rosy sunset haze carrying with it a whiff of brimstone. The sulfurous quality struck Daria as weirdly fitting as her family trekked to the elegant manors of High Town." (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6)


• Nothing Else Matters, by YouthofOz (parts 16 and 17): "I hate Jane Lane. I hate her. It is that freaking simple." (Part 17)


• That 70's Fanfic (IC: Apartment Life), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Once, Mirage had been dotted with a hundred hippy communes and now it had five die-hards gasping for air, and everyone who couldn't or wouldn't go to their parents had to crawl into town for wage-slave jobs to pay private rent. 'It's like a metaphor,' Jake had said a few times, which was actually a similie."


• Unnamed story (IC: Blank Brittany), by YouthofOz (part 1): "Voices. Movement. Strange noises she somehow knew were words. Actually, was she a she? Cautiously she tried to move her limbs, and the weight on her chest and the gap between her thighs confirmed that much. It also made damn certain she knew how much her head hurt right now."


• Unnamed story (World's Shortest Crossover XV: A New Era In Crossovers), by TheBrodsterBoy (COMPLETE!): "Daria sat next to Tom, the two eating pizza. 'So, Tom.' Daria said, in an almost provocative manner. 'Yes, Daria?' Tom replied, leaning in for a kiss."


• Woe, by atiyatortilla (part 1): "Everything in Lawndale was grey. The dirt, the sky, the people. It was like someone had drained all the color away, leaving the world muted and dark. Kevin didn't feel any which way about it; that's just the way life was."

The View From Below

Daria doesn't quite have it right for Look up at the Sky Day, because right now she's looking up at the ceiling. It could be that she's waiting for the library roof to finish caving in, but if that's the case then I don't think it's wise to stay underneath it.

Today is also Ex Spouse Day, although I doubt Ms. Barch will want to celebrate. Unless the celebration involves ranting and raving, although for her that just means today's a day that ends in "Y."

Finally, this is the anniversary for the episodes "The Lab Brat" and "Of Human Bonding," which aired on this day in 1997 and 2000. Jake did a lot of bonding in both episodes--with Kevin in one and with Daria in the other. I sometimes wish there was more fanfic centered around Jake and Kevin hanging out. Hint, hint.

As if this post, the PPMB was not functioning, but hopefully it will return soon so everyone can enjoy this...

Fanfic Update!

• High School Never Ends, by Princess_Pasta (part 6): "The smell of cinnamon was the first thing that greeted Stacy as soon she left her room. She padded her way into the kitchen, the prospect of food enough to shake off the cloud of sleep."


• The More Things Change (Iron Chef: The New Canon), by Two-Eyed Charlie (part 2): "Glass Café sits in a part of Hell's Kitchen that never fails to make me wonder how I can manage my rent month in and month out."


• A.R.C CHAPTER 9 Babysitting, by ST91 (part 2): "Thoughts. Daria had several of them in mind. The unplanned trip to the hospital and the modeling agency ordeal had distracted her but now the doubt had returned to haunt her."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (parts 6 - 8): "Daria put down her English textbook. She had two hours of exercise scheduled for that afternoon, more close-order combat training. She realized the necessity but hated the time-suck." (Part 7) (Part 8)

Or Maybe She's on Candid Camera

Daria's gazing up because it's Look up at the Sky Day. Or she's looking up because those pervert squirrels are back. Not sure which.

Today is also the anniversary of two episodes, "The Lab Brat" in 1997 and "Of Human Bonding" in 2000. Have a favorite moment from either episode? Share it in the comments!

Fandom News!

• ognawk is looking for one more contestant for Wheel of Misfortune Game 15.


• Tell everyone what you think of Stephen Colbert taking over "The Late Show."


• Did you ever own or play a Sega Dreamcast? Share your experience of the game system.


• How do people in different countries react to adult fans of kid-targeted entertainment?


• Snow-Kitty wonders what kind of stepfather DeMartino would be if Jake died.


• GDTSP9 posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: drabble-matic.

After Twenty-Two THANKLESS Years!

Today is Ex Spouse Day, and I see Ms. Barch is already celebrating. Let's just leave her to it, out of range of any flying debris, shall we?

It was also on this day in 1865 that Abraham Lincoln was shot, but Brittany's still not sure whether or not the bullet killed him. Give Jodie a little more time--she's still trying to explain it.

Finally, this is the anniversary of both "The Lab Brat" (from which that image of Barch was taken) and "Of Human Bonding" in 1997 and 2000. One episode featured a traumatized mouse while the other featured Helen traumatizing Quinn in front of her friends. And a good time was had by all.

Fandom News!

• Alvious has a question for the Grammar Police.


• Are the Lawndale Lions crap? See Charles RB's thoughts on the subject.


• Is this for real, or is it a prank? Doggieboy shares a job ad that makes him wonder.


• PrecambrianStudios posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: (Insert Character Here) Meets (Insert Author Here).

Celebrate Twenty-Two THANKLESS Years!

Today is Ex Spouse Day, and it's a good bet that Ms. Barch is celebrating. Or ranting and raving. Come to think of it, I'm not sure this holiday would be any different from any other day for her. Carry on!

It's also a double episode anniversary, as both "The Lab Brat" and "Of Human Bonding" first aired on this day in 1997 and 2000. Oddly enough, the first connection between the two episodes that comes to mind is Upchuck's preference for honey from a bear and Helen's bumblebee pajamas. Because bees make honey, you see. Get it? Get it? Maybe I just need to get more sleep.

Fandom News!

• Deref has started posting photos and comments about his trip to Viet Nam.


• Check out Stilt-Man--Marvel's greatest warrior!


• Want to see something cute? The Sidhe shares it in the thread.


• Discuss the new movie Cabin in the Woods.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: Reven384's Death Note and RLobinske's Worm Gruntin'.

Of Human Lab Brats Bonding

"The Lab Brat" (left) turns 13 today, and "Of Human Bonding" (right) turns 10. Happy Episode Birthday to you both!

Quinn Morgendorffer's favorite real-world TV star turns 43 today. Can you guess who it is? The answer lies here.

The very first edition of Noah Webster's American Dictionary of the English Language was copyrighted 182 years ago today. Odd, it still doesn't look like anyone's using it to check the stuff they write on the Internet.

The Human Genome Project was completed seven years ago today. Daria had something to say about genetics in one of her online essays at MTV.com. What kind of kids would Daria have if she could "geneer" (genetically engineer) them?

Enough of this. Instead of talking about new fanfiction, let's do something completely different.

UNFINISHED FANFICS I HAVE LOVED (ver. 3.0)

A couple years ago I began a semi-regular series in this column to rave about my favorite unfinished stories. This fandom regularly produces astounding fiction and artwork, considering its small size. Many of the unfinished stories are as exciting to read as the complete ones. Unfinished tales have considerable influence over later fiction, too—super-cool ideas brought up by one author might find new authors to bring them off.

Some of the following Works in Progress appear to be at least a third to half completed. A good number are what I call “First & Last Chapters,” because they end right after Chapter One. A few might lack only one chapter more. So much potential, so many places they could go!

Here’s my current faves list. Sit back and enjoy. Oh—stories previously covered in this column will not be mentioned here (not yet, anyway). We’ll get back to them later. For now, let’s explore new titles. You have some ideas on unfinished fanfics that YOU have loved? Tell me (and everyone else) about them in Comments.

SCIENCE FICTION, MYSTERY, AND HIGH ADVENTURE

• Antiestablishmentarian Hikers, by Lawndale Stalker (Lawndale Lurker) (SFMB): The classic school bus trip from Hell, way over the top and worth the ride. LL moved the story well along from where LS left it, but more is called for. Where are Daria and the gang now? Will they survive the wilderness, or will only a few make it home? And what of the volcanoes? Comedy, adventure, thrills—this packs them all. I gotta know how this ends!
• The Best and Brightest, by Smijey (Smileyfax): Daria stumbles upon a little secret involving Lawndale—or is it a big and dangerous secret? What does Jane know? Where is this going?
• Crouching Monster, Hidden Magic (Daria/The Dresden Files), by LSauchelli: LSauchelli’s modern-magic crossovers with The Dresden Files were exciting indeed. Much deadlier than the Harry Potter stuff, a real mind-blower at times. Any hope of seeing this tale continued, if not adding more tales to the story series?
• Daria: Hunter 6—Infectious, by Jim North: I have few worries that this story will be soon finished. This SF series is a grabber and a keeper. Keep ‘em comin’!
• Daria’s Web (Daria/Spider-Man), by Fezenclop (Ranger Thorne) (part 2 on SFMB) (part 3 on SFMB) (part 4 on SFMB) (part 5 on SFMB) (part 6 on SFMB) (part 7 on SFMB) (part 8 on SFMB) (OD): Daria is Spider-Girl. Terrific story with fast-moving action. MOAR!!!
• Downbelow, by Smileyfax (FF.net): Jane Lane is no longer in Lawndale. She’s lurking under it. And she wants Daria to join her. Can’t lose with this one.
• End over End, by Shull Bitter: Jane dies. Wait, she’s alive—but maybe not for long. A nail-biter just getting underway.
• Fimbul (ex-More Apocalyptic Daria), by NightGoblyn: First-person Jane tale of a devastated Earth with many familiar faces. This is gold SF. Moar, plz.
• Into the Fray, by Minx (FF.net): Daria, Quinn, Jane, and Mystic Spiral are on a road trip that’s interrupted by a war—the Second American Civil War. A real shocker, lots of excitement (and doubtless angst!) ahead, great writing by a great new talent.
• The House on Space-Time Lane (Daria/Doctor Who), by Lawndale Stalker (part 2 on PPMB) (part 2 on SFMB) (OD) (1111 Space Time Lane, early version): I can’t tell if this one is finished or what. I adore it. LS, where the heck are you?
• Lawndale’s Finest: Action Stories #4—Power Struggle, by Jim North: A superb action/superhero series that should never ever end. Jim’s contribution is up to the grand style we’ve come to expect. And the characters fit the DC Universe perfectly!
• Liquid Diet, by Smileyfax: Sandi Griffin has several times been linked to vampirism, and this tale (even unfinished) is one of the better ones.
• Manse Griffin, by Smileyfax: Another Sandi tale, in which she inherits a house with secrets unrevealed.
• The Melancholy of Daria Morgendorffer, by Wraith (additional scene here): Wraith has a genius about him when writing anime crossovers. Even from these fragments, a great tale beckons. See if you agree.

• The Mystery Chick, by LSauchelli: What if Jake Morgendorffer had been a detective? What would Daria be like now? This tale provided some answers.
• Shadows of a Timeless Song (Daria/The Lord of the Rings), by Dennis: I honestly didn’t believe anyone could ever pull off this crossover, but Dennis does—and also adds more crossovers to boot. I have to know what happens with Hermione in the mix!
• Survivor Diet, by Smileyfax: If this one is pulled off right, it could rank among the best horror tales in this fandom. “Antisocial Climbers” has a very different ending. Lots of students go up a mountain, but not so many come down again. Let us say that the missing students had a very tasteful fate. This had me rattled with its first (and only) chapter.
• Tracksuits, by Malakite: In a dystopian future America, Sandi Griffin is on the run—but from who? And why? And what the hell is Quinn doing?
• Unnamed story (Daria/The Wire), by Roentgen: This one just grabbed me, and I have never once watched The Wire on TV. Marvelous crossover in such a tiny fragment.
• Wrylight (Daria/Twilight), by Minx (FF.net): Tongue firmly in cheek, Minx leads us through a wacky crossover in which some of Lawndale’s citizens might be vampires. A lot of them might be vampires, in fact. And some are good friends with poor, innocent Daria.
  

ANGST TO THE Nth POWER

• The Leggy Chick, by TheEleventy: I believe this author is back among us. This tale is one of many he left incomplete that cries out for more. A car wreck kills Daria and Trent, but leaves Jane crippled. How she puts her life back together—and who enters her life to help—create a tale to remember. It really takes you places. Excellent stuff.
• The Misery Chick, by thatLONERchick: This tale was listed as complete in 2008, but was later continued. I would definitely love to see more of this sad AU in which events in the original episode called “The Misery Chick” go horribly awry.

OLD-SCHOOL SHIPPERS

• Chances (ex-Don’t Leave Anything to Chance), by Coonassblondie: A Jane/Jesse shipper, uncommon in the fandom nowadays but handed quite well by a welcome new talent. I wouldn’t mind seeing where this one leads.
• A Few Years Difference, by Vlora (PPMB): Borrowing an idea from another unfinished tale, Vlora works out a believable background to have an older Daria start the series—just old enough to meet Trent on equal terms. Oh boy! Shipping at its finest.
• Our Time Now, by Charliefox2012: We return again to the Daria/Jane slash shipper, but this story is well told and draws the reader in nicely. (Do not confuse this with this story.)
  

A WALK ON THE WILD, WILD SIDE

• D.A.R.I.A., by Greystar: Daria’s a robot. So is Quinn. Jane just found out and isn’t handling the news so well. What could possibly go wrong? A very engaging freak-out about reality gone wrong.
• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser: The freakiest freak-out of all, only a whisker ahead of Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part III). This series makes my brain all ‘spody. Hang on if you haven’t read either of these yet.
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn: Daria crossed with A. E. van Vogt in a mind-bending adventure across two planets in a psychotic future in which the Game is All. This rivals jtranser’s future histories for sheer inventive brilliance. You’ve got to try this one.
• Inner Universe, by Malakite: I haven’t seen an idea carried out like this since the days when Renfield was among us. The series as we know it exists only within the mind of a wildly psychotic high school student named Jane Lane. This has to keep going.
• Personable Computers (Daria/Chobits), by Trscroggs: Daria and Jane are animated computers. I really need to see the story this was based upon. This fragment is too, too crazy.
• Shining Star: Temporal Conundrum, by RLobinske (old version): Everyone else but me seems to know what’s happening in this out-there tale, but I’m fine with being ignorant and intrigued. This is just so… out there. Continue!
• Taking Tea in Dreamland, by Micka: I can hear Renfield’s ghost whispering to me in this one. Daria’s having a nightmare… that might be horribly true. (To begin with, her name isn’t Daria. It’s Jane.)
  

COMEDY CLUB

• Daria: The Untold Story, by Ajar: A wild and mirthful “behind-the-scenes” account of what was really going on when Daria was being filmed. It was semi-usurped by a similar thread but did quite well for itself. I’d love to read more of this.
• The Handmaidens of Narcissus, by TheSecretSharer: Daria as if done by William Shakespeare. And it works. MOAR MOAR MOAR!!!
• Harry Butt-head (Daria/Beavis and Butt-head/Harry Potter), by Deep Metal: This guy has done some funny stuff on FF.net. Keep poking him to continue this one!
  

MORGENDORFFER FAMILY FOLLIES

• Finn Morgendorffer 42: The Suburban Symphony, by HolyGrail2007: Quinn becomes Finn, a boy, in a retelling of the series with Finn Morgendorffer at the focus. I admit I was lukewarm to this series when it began, but now I am horribly hooked. It makes me want to tear out my hair sometimes, I get so involved. Excellent stuff.
• Folie à deux, by Charliefox2012: Another Morgendorffer Family variant: Daria’s twin sister Darla, who has Daria’s looks but not her brains and personality. This one is just getting started, but I anticipate becoming just as crazed about it as the series about Finn Morgendorffer.
• Jacob Morgendorffer, Esq., by CAP (FF.net): In an alternate reality, Helen Morgendorffer has one simple idea—and the entire series and its world is changed as a result. Excellent AU construction, logical and deftly told with a conservative touch, with characters filled with life.
  

SCHOOL DAZE

• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding (ex-First Day of School, or What Might Have Been), by Roentgen (continued here): One of two brilliant reinventions of the series that take place at schools other than Lawndale High. Superb characterization and startling plot twists make both this and “Regifted” treasures in the making.
• See Jane Ride (a variant of Worth the Blood), by TheEleventy. Jane is in college—developing a new form of art. Highly realistic, marvelous characterization, much fun.
• Regifted 2: I Put Away Joyless Things, by Ajar: The episode “Gifted” jumps the tracks in this AU as Daria and Jodie transfer to Grove Hills. This convoluted tale of classmate treachery and intrigue continues to thrill. Poor Jodie!
• The Substitute (Daria/DC Heroes), by Echopapa: Lawndale High gets a very different substitute teacher in the episode, “Lucky Strike.” I desperately want to see what happens next in this bizarre crossover.

Another Ho-Hum Day in Paranormal Lawndale

We're at the Pizza King during "The Lab Brat," and Daria and Jane are munching away without the slightest clue that the girl in the booth behind Jane is levitating her pizza and her drink. I repeat, LEVITATING HER PIZZA AND HER DRINK. Let's have a closeup of that at right.

Mmkay, that's a go there. We have levitation.

You explain it.

OTHER NEWS: DVDaria has updated.

A History of Violence, Part 3

One aspect of Brittany's violence we failed to mention concerns her younger brother, Brian, who is a little monster. Literally. An adolescent sadist who tortures animals for fun ("The Lab Brat," The Daria Database), Brian Taylor is one of the few indisputably evil characters in Daria.

Where did Brittany and Brian develop their unpleasant tendencies? Was this some kind of Rosemary's Baby deal, which is why we don't see their biological mother, Vivian Taylor, around in their lives? Is there some genetic component to this? Do the two siblings somehow feed off each other's ferociousness? Does their father have anything to do with this? Brittany did give the mouse to Brian in "The Lab Brat."

Just food for thought, there. Enjoy the week! And remember Brittany's absolute best line in "Fizz Ed":

I like red. It reflects my passionate nature.

Dr. Hannibal Lechter could have hardly put it better.

Still Just a Rat in a Cage

"The Lab Brat" premiered 12 years ago today, and "Of Human Bonding" 9 years ago. You may color the picture of Roger on the right.

FF.net

• Lambda, by SigDiff (Parts 15 and 16): “Am I the only one who thinks this is a bad plan?” Jane asked of no one in particular.

PPMB

• More Apocalyptic Daria, by NightGoblyn (continued): Daria’s guns boom in the silence, and the sterile air is filled with the reek of gunpowder. The insect skids to a halt and screeches, its antennae waving wildly in our direction. The room fills with a creepy scrabbling sound as more roaches run into the room, stopping to tear apart the wounded one. “We have to go,” I say, edging around the nasty melee in the center of the room. “We have to go now.”
• Something Is Rotten in the State of Lawndale, by Kristen Bealer (Part 4): Meanwhile, Daria was in her bedroom, deciding on which book to read. She had narrowed it down to either Herman Melville's first novel or Bushido: The Soul of Japan. "Hmm," she mused. "Typee or Nitobe. That is the—" [AUUUUGH!!!!]
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): The changes in Lawndale High were titanic, but though she'd been largely responsible for bringing them about, Quinn did not particularly care about them at that moment. DeMartino in the principal's office had been disconcerting, even though she'd known about it last night, and the thumps and crashed caused by workmen already removing Ms. Li's surveillance control center hardly made for a convivial learning atmosphere, but Quinn had too much on her mind to care.
  

It's a Word. Look It Up.

If this is your idea of a joke, Quinn,
perhaps you should look up the word
"huh?" in the dictionary.

—Sandi Griffin, "One J at a Time"

Sandi didn't get that retort quite right, but at least she knows about dictionaries. The very first edition of Noah Webster's American Dictionary of the English Language was published 180 years ago today. The title of this post is from a comedy routine by Emo Philips.

The Human Genome Project was completed five years ago today. Daria had something to say about genetics in one of her online essays at MTV.com.

One day left to file income taxes in the United States. Bummer.

In Daria fandom lore, "The Lab Brat" premiered 11 years ago today, and "Of Human Bonding" 8 years ago today. Six years ago, more or less about this time, I joined the fandom and everything went downhill. (Sorry!) Thanks to Kara Wild for being the first to welcome me in! It's all your fault.

Also, as of this moment halfway through the month, there are only two Daria fanfics with the word "April" in the title: "April Is the Cruelest Month" and "April Showers." I thought that was important to mention.

My computer seems to have recovered, more or less, from the rootkit attack. The moral of this story appears to be, "There are some Darias on the Internet whose pictures should not be viewed." And we will leave it at that.

Meet Sam Stack

We see and hear about Sam Stack only once, in "The Lab Brat" when Upchuck reveals that he has been spying on Brittany's love life and has the photo to prove it. Sam is the QB of Oakwood High's football team, the Taproots. It is tempting to make him as moronic as Kevin Thompson, but maybe he isn't.

Very little fanfic has included this one-shot character, but that could change. He certainly looks like a, um, man of action, so an adventurous tale could include him as an unexpected rival or ally.