But He Wanted to Take a Sunrise and Sprinkle it With Dew!

Poor Nathan thought today was Rat Pack day, but actually it's Pack Rat Day! Too bad; he had the pants and everything. Still, this would be a good day for Jake and Helen to finally finish cleaning out the garage. They've still got a few arguments left in them, I'm sure.

Today is also the extended deadline for federal income tax filing, so if you haven't gotten that done yet, then...good luck.

Fanfic Update!

• American Beauty, by Lady Evil (parts 4 and 5): "At lunchtime in the cafeteria, Alfred yelled 'Yo, Jamie! Think fast!' Jamie was better at catching than Upchuck and Alfred remembered to hold back just a little this time." (Part 5)


• Old Shames (Linn's short stories (or ficlets, drabbles...)), by Linnofthewoods (COMPLETE!): "The next afternoon, Rose's normally nocturnal hamster, Butterbean, had woken up. She wanted out of her enclosure, so Rose was giving her some supervised free roaming time in the bathroom."


• Once Upon a Time...., by Kristen Bealer (COMPLETE!): "'I don't have anything to read!' The plaintive voice of six-year-old Daria Morgendorffer interrupted her parents' evening routine of 'just a few more minutes of work' (Helen) and 'just one more martini to unwind' (Jake)."

As Certain as Art and Taxes

Jake's feeling a little upset because he only just remembered that taxes are due today. I think he's in for a long, stressful day.

Meanwhile, Jane is probably celebrating World Art Day by either painting or appreciating some of her favorite artists. Among them might be Leonardo da Vinci, who was born on this day in 1452.

Fandom News!

• Welcome the newest addition to the Daria fandom family!


• A thread about a porn site blocking North Carolina IPs has spread to a more general discussion.


• View and discuss the new Suicide Squad trailer.


• Learn more about the recently-announced prequel series to Keeping Up Appearances.


• Wouter posted a new art Iron Chef in the Easel: At the Lawndale high school reunion.

A Tramp with Self-Esteem

Happy birthday to the late comic actor Charlie Chaplin, born on this day in 1889. O'Neill is funny in his own way, I suppose, but he's nothing like Chaplin. For starters, Chaplin meant to make people laugh at him.

Today is also National Stress Awareness Day, to which Jake replies, "Stressed? Why do people keep telling me I'm stressed? If I weren't stressed, I'd get stressed by everyone telling me I'm stressed!" Considering today is also the day after tax returns are due in the United States, I'd say there are probably a fair number of people nationwide who are very aware of their own stress right now.

Finally, today is National Librarian Day, which I only mention because certain blogger librarians might be more than happy to accept whatever gifts and other tokens of esteem you might wish to pass along in honor of the holiday. Especially if they happen to be chocolate!

Fanfic Update!

• Birthday Surprise (Iron Chef: Daria character wins lottery prize), by DeacBlue (COMPLETE!): "'So what has dear Aunt Rita done now?' She listened. 'Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay.' She paused. 'Well, to be quite fair, I did say all of those things. Yes, I did. I may have told them to the world's dumbest bridesmaids, and then told them that I was lying, but I did say the words.'" (Part 12)


• The Cats Will Play, by RLobinske (part 2): "'Squirrel!' Sissy meowed as she jumped up onto on of the front window sills. A gray squirrel clung to an oak tree in the front yard and stared at the window, barking. Bump jumped up to join Sissy. 'Ah, it's Spaz Tail. I wonder if Bright Ears will show.'"


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 31 and 32): "Helen: Opens the door revealing Hillary Clinton and another human in a galactic empire general uniform. Hillary: 'Is Darth Maladi here?' Helen: 'Uh, yeah ... right this way.' Walks back to the kitchen with Hillary, the empire general and the cameraman following her. Jake: 'Say, is that Hillary Clinton?' Daria: 'I have a batter question: What’s happened to my sister?'" (Part 32)


• God Save The Esteem ep41: Is It Fun Yet?, by Charles RB (part 8): "The audience descended on the venue, like a great wind had blown through a particularly smelly rubbish dump. Piercings and dyed hair and leather and body odour abounded, and three friendly fights had already broken out. And out went DeMartino onto the stage, seeing all the glass bottles in the front row and his mind screaming that he better get this right, he had only one shot at this-"


• Going out for a Pizza (Iron Chef: Getting Ready for the End of the World), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): "The two teens jogged up to the Buick's driver's door and looked inside the window. Daria asked, 'Ma'am, are you...' Then she gawked and stared at the inside of the car. 'Whoa,' Jane said. 'Where the hell is she?' Where the elderly woman had sat behind the wheel, there only remained a light blue dress, a slightly darker blue jacket, a hat, a set of false teeth and a pair of glasses. A rubber-tipped stainless steel cane and a large-print copy of the Bible sat on the passenger seat."


• The Hallowed Bungholes (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Walter Kovacs (COMPLETE!): "Two young men in poorly fitting blazers were sitting in an auditorium watching a stern elderly gentleman lecture on about the school's honor and dignity. As was usual for those two distinguished gentlemen both would rather be watching MTV than being there."


• Lawndale School of Magic Part One: The New Kids, by Reven384 (COMPLETE!): "After Stacy left Quinn walked over to Sandi, 'What did you want to talk to me about?' 'Yes if we are to continue hanging out then I feel I must be honest. My family line traces itself back to the Dark Lady Griffin,' Sandi said waiting for the fireworks. 'So I’m Mad Dog Morgendorffer’s grandchild,' Quinn said, 'I’m surprised you told me though. I go out of my way to avoid letting anyone know who my grandfather was.'" (Part 5)


• The Mageborn Cynic, by peetz5050 (parts 4 and 5): "Daria studied the man as he berated his less-than-prepared students. The colored threads on his collar, which meant nothing and were virtually invisible to anyone less than an Archmage, were predominantly silver, which meant he was a farseer, which also meant he would have spent the mandatory ten years in the military. That would account for what happened to his eye." (Part 5


• No Esteem (IC: DeMartino and Jake swapped), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Girls, I realise it's not easy to move to a new town,' said her mother, giving nervous glances to the rearview mirror, 'but this does look nicer, doesn't it? The school seems a lot safer too, none of the- well, you know. Rough kids.' Well, we haven't arrived yet, have we?"


• A Resentful cynic ch. 2 No party . No problem, by ST91 (part 6): "While he and Jodie were walking to his Jeep, Mack asked, 'Will you accept Daria’s offer?' 'I don’t know. It depends if my parents will give me permission.' 'Jodie, please don't lie to me. You don't want to go because of Jane.' 'What ? Come on Mack don't make me laugh.' Jodie said. 'Jodie.' Mack said in a tone that brooked no argument."


• Rude Awakening Ep.10: Sandi vs The EPT, by DIsaac (part 6): "BRITTANY: Teddy, we aren't changing the subject now. What do you mean I have anger problem, Ted? TED: You tend to overreact, sometime physically, to things. BRITTANY: I don't overreact... as much as I did in high school... or in college... or with that job in Houston... or Miami... or Memphis... or Philadelphia... or Columbus... or Los Angeles... (pause) I'm not making a good case for myself right now, aren't I? TED: I wouldn't take that second career as a lawyer."


• To Annoy a Mockingbird. Chapter 05, by BF110C4 (part 6.1): "'Good morning Miss Morgendorffer, I am Doctor Amelia Northman, right now we are going to start with a physical exam, I already had Dr. Nicholson and Dr. Wheeler fax me your medical files,' ‘Both our old family doctor and gynecologist’ Daria added methodical to her description of the doctor, 'but I do find better to trust but verify, so I’ll be asking you some questions while we are doing your test, if you could please take off your jacket and put in on one of the hangers behind the curtain so we can begin?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: The Morning After), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "'Ladies and Gentelmen, the President of the United States.' Daria looked at the television screen with a sick feeling in her bowels as Angela Li walked up to the presidential podium."


• Venus Fly Trap (IC: DeMartino and Jake swapped), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "Helen. Please read this. Leslie I picked it up. Plain black with a large red broken heart on the front. LOVE HURTS. Domestic Abuse is the hidden crime. Don't suffer in silence. Oh, how ridiculous. Anthony isn't abusive. Anthony is passionate, he's extreme. He loves me and the girls, he just isn't the cuddly type."

Happy Birthday, Quinn! (Now you know where your tax dollars just went.)

Richard Lobinske's Falling Into College series places today as Quinn's 27th or so birthday today, a secret revealed in "A Daze at the Races."

This is also National Tax Day in the United States and its territories. Either way, Quinn or the government, someone's going to get all your money.

Today being the 558th birthday of the Renaissance genius Leonardo da Vinci, we again post the famous alter ego of Jodie Landon as da Vinci's "The Vitruvian Man." Clicking on the last link here shows the original drawing from which this picture is taken, and explains what the drawing really means. It's more complicated than I'd thought.

More tomorrow, tired now. Zzzzz....

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 42: The Suburban Symphony, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 5): “What happened? You seemed burned out at work.” “It... it was nothing. Nazi Michael found my screwdriver and now I got fired. Fun.” “Lindy, you were drinking on the job?” “You should know, you’re the one who told him I was.” (NEW! Part 6 here!)
  
• I Just Don’t Get You, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Quinn hesitated, and then blurted, “I don’t get you.” Jane, thrown by this statement, could only manage a confused, “Oh?” “Are you mad?” asked Quinn. “NO!” said Jane, perhaps too quickly, before adding, “I mean, no, of course not.” “Good,” replied Quinn, “because I want to like you, but I just don’t get where you’re coming from.” (Daria/MST3K)
• Into the Fray, by Minx (Part 9): Quinn leaned forward and peered through the tiny crack in the door. She could see the two men standing on the front porch facing each other; she could just make out their conversation. “There’s no one here, just bags by the look of it. I think—” Walker’s voice was cut off by the sounds of shouted male voices and a volley of gunfire. “They’re down the road. They must have jumped the fences!”
  
• NEW! Into the Fray, by Minx (Part 8): The usual variety of knickknacks were strewn across the drawers; a jewelery box, old photos, a large ornate lamp. They could have been in any house in America. Jane opened the jewelery box and picked up a golden earring, as she did so a chill ran up her spine and she quickly dropped it and shut the lid. Jane was thankful when she heard the water stop, as the door opened she quickly ran in and shut the door.
• NEW! Some unnamed concept that I will name later, by SigDiff (Part 1): Jane shrugged. “I've never been in the city before. Got sick of seeing nothing but the green world, so I came here.” “And a strong sense of curiosity, even at this age. Usually the world beats it out of them by now.” Jane was clearly being judged, much to her displeasure. “Quinn,” the figure continued, “I think we could really use her.” Although she'd never heard it before, Jane didn't like the idea of being used. “I thought you'd say that,” Quinn commented. “I'm okay with it.”
  
• Springtime for Scarlett the Fairy, by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): You do not ever want to hear a fairy after she has pricked her finger on a needle. Talk about coloring the air blue. That brings up a question I’ve always had, and you should be curious about it, as well. What color is a choking Smurf?
• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "I thought this was a horrible nightmare. But it was wrong. It's a horrible nightmare that I can't wake up from. You and your god-damned Jell-O shots." "Shut up. You were right in there with me."

Income Tax? No. OUT-GO Tax!

Tom Sloane, disguised as a federal IRS agent from that famous annual game show, "Who Wants to Be an Ex-Millionaire Doing Time for Tax Evasion?", wishes all of you a safe and happy April 15th on your way to the post office to mail in all your earnings for the last 130 years. Don't be late!

And, as pointed out by Richard Lobinske in Comments, this is also Quinn Morgendorffer's birthday. Send her some money, too.

Legendeld has a rant he wishes to share with you.

Moar soon.

Today is . . . QUINN'S BIRTHDAY!

Yes, according to Richard Lobinske's Falling Into College series, this is Quinn's 26th birthday today. Her birthday was revealed in "A Daze at the Races."

Today is also National Tax Day from Hell in the United States and its territories. Either way, Quinn or the government, someone's going to get all your money shortly.

It's a Word. Look It Up.

If this is your idea of a joke, Quinn,
perhaps you should look up the word
"huh?" in the dictionary.

—Sandi Griffin, "One J at a Time"

Sandi didn't get that retort quite right, but at least she knows about dictionaries. The very first edition of Noah Webster's American Dictionary of the English Language was published 180 years ago today. The title of this post is from a comedy routine by Emo Philips.

The Human Genome Project was completed five years ago today. Daria had something to say about genetics in one of her online essays at MTV.com.

One day left to file income taxes in the United States. Bummer.

In Daria fandom lore, "The Lab Brat" premiered 11 years ago today, and "Of Human Bonding" 8 years ago today. Six years ago, more or less about this time, I joined the fandom and everything went downhill. (Sorry!) Thanks to Kara Wild for being the first to welcome me in! It's all your fault.

Also, as of this moment halfway through the month, there are only two Daria fanfics with the word "April" in the title: "April Is the Cruelest Month" and "April Showers." I thought that was important to mention.

My computer seems to have recovered, more or less, from the rootkit attack. The moral of this story appears to be, "There are some Darias on the Internet whose pictures should not be viewed." And we will leave it at that.