Sandi's Looking Especially Fowl Today

Yes, Sandi, everyone is paying attention to you for Penguin Awareness Day, but it's not the attention you think it is. It's not because you look particularly stylish, although that tuxedo is pretty sharp. No, it's because everyone is wondering why you let Dr. Shar go full-on Dr. Moreau. It's...terrifying.

I suggest shaking off that horrific image and enjoying National Cheese Lover Day instead. Jake might even dust off his squirrel impression and declare "Gimme cheese! I want cheese!"

I hope Upchuck knows that it's not only National Charlie Day, but National DJ Day as well! He should go put on some tunes, especially because if he's manning the DJ booth then he can't interact with anyone.

Fandom News!

• Voting is open for the Daria Fanworks Awards: Written Works and Visual Works.


• muireannwolfsbane wonders, what if one of Jake's siblings was disabled?

Leave a Message at the...Rrrr...Beep!

In honor of National Inane Answering Message Day, I'm going to share the following message ideas courtesy of Upchuck (via the Daria Diaries), who is about as inane as they come:

"This is Charles. I can't come to the phone right now, because I am occupado. I could tell you what I am doing, but let's not ruin the mystery. At the tone, leave your name, number, and the time you called, and I will get back to you as soon as I can tear myself away from my life of intrigue, about which I cannot be specific, lest I put both my life and yours in danger."

"No, no...not now, girls! This is Charles Ruttheimer the Third, and you have reached my answering machine...please, ladies, patience!...speak clearly at the tone and...I'm on my way, my dears!...they so hate to be kept waiting...anyway, I'll get back to you as soon as possible...if this is an emergency, well, so is a woman on fire!"

"You have successfully contacted the underground grotto of The Ruttheimer Group, currently engineering our secret plan to achieve world domination by the year 2010. If you would like to know more about our plans to gain global control of mass media, subjugate the military forces of every nation on Earth, and install Charles Ruttheimer the Third as supreme ruler of all humankind, please leave your name and address at the beep, and we will send you an informative brochure and a free bumper sticker."

I think our boy has just a little too much time on his hands.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the latest news about the Flint water scandal.


• Talk about the return of the Hanna Barbera Comics...with a twist.


• Robyn has a simple request in the Easel.

"They're gonna kill him." "Let's not get our hopes up."

Today is International Day Against Police Brutality. One could argue that Upchuck had it coming, but it's still a little painful to watch that scene. Unless you're Ms. Barch, I suppose.

Today is also the Ides of March, and if only Caesar had thought to beware of them, perhaps he'd still be alive today.

Except he wouldn't be, because he'd be over 2,000 years old. Trick question, yeah!

Fandom News!

• Talk about First World Problems in a new thread.


• BF110C4 is looking for help with Daria's timeline.


• Whom would you consider a strong male character in Daria?


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: ThanatosRW's Think of the children and Smijey's RE: RE: FWD: Crappy Email Forwards.

A Feisty Birthday!

Happy birthday to Geoffrey Arend, the voice actor who played Upchuck on Daria after the first season. The birthday boy turns 34 today, and let's hope his social skills are a lot better than that of his character.

Today is also Floral Design Day, so you can choose either to make a dainty garland for your head and sing or make a dainty garland for your neck and choke. Choose wisely!

Fanfic Update!

• After the Disaster :: Chapter 5.5, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "The woman shook her head, hands to her face, sobbing, 'I almost lost her once, I can't have this happen again... no, please God.' She cried, thinking about the accident that had occurred just a few months before, 'Please, Tiffany. Hold on.'" (Part 3)


• After the Disaster :: Chapter 6, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "She hadn't noticed the guest yet, but the sudden rush of her mom running through the door made her feel a bit of relief... and shame. She didn't want to put her mother through such a situation but... she felt like she was a burden. She hugged her mother back and rubbed her eyes, sleepily still trying to grasp where she was. Her eyes glanced at the doctor and then at the other girl who was in the room with her, recognizing who she was." (Part 2)


• And Then it Happened :: Chap 1, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "'Inter-Dimensional Travel...' Tiffany replied back, her voice full of understanding despite she understood nothing. Glancing at Stacy she turned back to the beast, 'How do you find shoes that fit?'"


• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 6), by oni (COMPLETE!): "Suspecting that something was wrong, Helen asked in a calm tone, 'Sandi, do your parents know you’re here?' Hearing silence behind her, Stacy looked behind her where her girlfriend was and saw her looking nervously at the floor. 'Sandi,' Stacy said in a quiet tone. 'No they don’t Mrs. Morgendorffer,' replied Sandi as slowly looked up at Quinn’s mom. 'Please don’t call them.'"


• Big Trouble in Little Lawndale (IC Runaway Daria), by Grifter74 (part 1): "Daria woke to the sound of a man talking, 'There I was standing face to face with the Sorcerer Lo Pan. Then he throws my knife at me. You know what old Jack Burton did then?' 'What did you do?' Daria blurted out as she peeked out from under the blanket. Jack look behind him so quick he almost gave himself whiplash, 'Bloody hell, What are you doing here, kid?'"


• Chaos Theory: The Esteem of the Cynic and the Eccentric, by Walter Kovacs (part 7): "'That's like funny... I think' chirped Brittany as she twirled one of her pigtails with her finger. 'Anyways oh yeah, I like came over to invite you and Haruhi over to a party I'm having saturday.' Brittany twirled her left pigtail again and 'Oh yeah It's like to celebrate my parents being out of town overnight and my brother um getting another um 96 hour therapy session at quiet ivy and not being there that day.'"


• Clique Swap, by psychotol (parts 4 and 5): "The Sith warrior that had escorted them into the throne room bows at Darth Krayt saying 'Lord Krayt, I present to you, Quinn Morgendorffer, Stacy Rowe and Tiffany Blum Deckler.' As he points them out. Quinn, Stacy and Tiffany: Strike a pose. 'Hiiiiiiiii.'" (Part 5)


• Daria - Double Down, by neonhomer (part 30): "'Well, I will put it out on the table right here. I love you Daria.' Said Jane. 'I know Jane.' 'No. I don’t think you do. I love you more than a sister.' 'I know, Jane.' Daria sighed. 'You want to be with me.' 'So you *do* know.' 'Yeah. I do.'"


• Daria's New Clothing (Iron Chef: Happy Birthday Daria), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Jane turned from the TV as she heard three quick raps on her door, but before she could call out as to the identity of the knocker, Daria opened the door and let herself in. 'You gotta hide me, Jane,' she begged. 'Oh? Why?' 'Because today's...today's my birthday.'"


• Dylan, by J-D (part 1b): "Dylan looked out the window, thinking about how his father was probably feeling about having the chance to get out on the golf course, and about how he himself couldn’t jump out of the moving car. ‘So you think it could help me unlock my potential?’"


• God Save The Esteem ep40: This Is No Fun, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "After ten minutes, she left – the pizza was barely eaten – and headed out. There weren’t many people out. None of Quinn’s gang had been in the place. She walked on and she could hear people following. She was near an alleyway. She didn’t speed up even when they did."


• The Highland Peace Accords (I.C: To kill a Mockingbird), by BF110C4 (COMPLETE!): "It came to a head, when after crashing Daria’s tenth birthday party with Quinn’s friends and basically high jacking it, and the horrible retaliation done on Quinn’s last pajama’s party with the help of the two morons B & B (she would never mention their names, lest they appear) that a truce was agreed and a Treaty was written."


• Into the Black, Into the Blue Chapter 1, by Lord Yellowtail (parts 2 and 3): "She had treated Luna as a pony, not a crown or a commander or even a Nightmare. And Luna, because she had failed to find any other way to trace Dinky Doo, had repaid her by tearing down in five seconds the life Ditzy had spent the last six years building for herself and her child. But it had always been that way, Luna supposed. Celestia built great things. And Luna rent even the greatest edifices to smoldering ruble, if they got in the way of her goals." (Part 3)


• John Lane 52: From the Last Step to the First, by RLobinske (part 11): "'I stopped by the office and ran into Helen Morgendorffer. It looks like the Fahnstalk case has been kicking her ass while you and the rest of the partners have been off playing golf.' 'Honey...' 'Don't,' she warned. Eric stopped and sat on a stool next to the counter. 'What are your demands?' 'You know that I believe in repaying debts.'"


• Living up to your Potential, by BF110C4 (part 3a and interlude 1a): "'How the hell did this happened? I mean it may sound corny, but of all the students at LHS she was the one who got the best chance of a shiny sparky future as a future leader of America' By now Jane was already refilling the colors of her palette, this time with a selection of different browns and greys." (Interlude 1a)


• Memory Lane, by echopapa (interlude): "'B'Elanna and I have docked at another big chunk of wreckage. We've gone inside and B'Elanna's running scans on what seems to be some kind of fabrication chamber.' 'any intelligence so far?' Chakotay asked. 'A couple of promising leads,' A female voice replied. 'I can't wait to finish here so we can take that leave on Earth that you promised Tom and me while Voyager gets her refit,' B'Elanna said."


• An Open and Shut Case (I.C: To kill a Mockingbird), by BF110C4 (COMPLETE!): "The case itself was supposed to be a slam dunk, the defense lawyer, if she could be called even that, was wet behind her ears and had a known, well documented dislike of her client. On the other hand she was a seasoned prosecutor who had both ears of the judge; such an obvious Kangaroo Court than for a moment she had been able to feel the power only god knew before."


• The Prep, the Artist and the Loner (Iron Chef: Tom was there), by Walter Kovacs (part 1): "As expected, Daria was almost entirely ignored by the other students. The fact that they had all converged on Quinn removed many obstacles to her path. Unnoticed to her, a boy with brown hair and green eyes who was wearing a black sweater with khaki pants gave her a brief glance as she walked into Lawndale High to check in with the office."


• Psycho Therapy (Iron Chef: Psycho Therapy), by ThanatosRW (COMPLETE!): "'I'm not a mistake, am I? No, I'm cute! I'm popular! How could mom say that? How has she failed in raising me? I'm perfect. Daria is the disgrace....'"


• Quinn's Code Story 6: The Lab Mouse, The Geek and the Convention, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "'Daria, we need to talk.' 'About what, Quinn?' 'Could you possibly find something for Kevin to do and still contribute to the project?' 'No.' 'What do you mean, "No"?' 'Exactly what I said, Quinn. There is no way in which Kevin can contribute in a meaningful way.'"


• Sandi :: Well... This Sucks :: Chapter 7, by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "Stopping her test grading for the males in the classroom, Janet Barch smiled, welcoming Sandi with some sense of relief, 'So, you actually decided to show up, huh?' Sandi blinked for a few moments and looked at the clock, then double checked on her cell phone, 'Actually, I have you for class this period.' She wasn't about to take any added time out of her day to deal with a teacher, 'So can we make this fast before like, school starts? Because I seriously don't want to be seen talking to a teacher about mythical creatures.'" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Spoken Like a True Poet (IC: Blowing Up Pipebombs in Public Places), by Fhujeth_x (COMPLETE!): "This was it. He had to dish it out to Brittney. She finally pissed him off enough that he had to say something back to her."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "When Daria suggested a tour of Britain's castles and stately homes for their honeymoon, Tom Sloane was not exactly thrilled."


• Unnamed story (IC: Blowing Up Pipebombs in Public Places), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "'...just like my ex-husband and all other men, rats are vermin, and should be exterminated with extreme prejudice...' 'You know, you're not the only person to have a man walk out on them, and you won't be the last.' Did I just say that out loud?"


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef - Goddess of Sarcasm), by Waylander (COMPLETE!): "Daria fired back, 'I know he died! But don't pretend he was he was some great person when he wasn't. Everybody hated Tommy Sherman and wished something bad to happen to him. I felt it in my bones – their frustration, their anger, their misery,' She shrugged nonchalantly, 'And the wish came true.'"


• The Valedictorian Speech of Jodie Landon (IC: Blowing Up Pipebombs in Public Places), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "Ladies and gentlemen of the graduating class of Lawndale High..... I hate each and every one of you with every fiber of my being."


• We Only Hurt the Ones We Love (IC Runaway Daria), by deneich (part 7): "For several moments my Mother stood still as a statue, incapable of grasping – what was to her mind – the unbelievable. Then slowly, first her head, then her shoulders she turned and stared at me. In that stare was hope and terror in equal measure; terror was quickly displaced by recognition, hope became certainty. I was not a fraud."


• The Whispers of Ignorance, by ThanatosRW (part 1): "I am gambling what little time I have left to tell these to whatever damnable souls who finds these documents in the vastness of cyberspace. Be assured, this is not a flight of fiction. This is the truth, but I only wish it would set me free."

"Just like a man to be there one minute and gone the next!"

On this day in 1874, the magician/escape artist Harry Houdini was born. Upchuck's daring escape during the magic show in the episode "Life in the Past Lane" was presumably an attempt to emulate the performer, although I think even Houdini himself would have chosen to stay locked up once Ms. Barch started yelling and kicking the trunk.

Fandom News!

• MJPollard has joined the smartphone generation. Have you?


• A new poll in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum: which Sonic do you prefer? (The Doctor's screwdriver, but discussion of the video game is also acceptable!)


• Arena del Sur has a question about the real Mystik Spiral and offers a new clue in the "Where is Lawndale" topic.


• Pashupati is looking for help tracking down a Graveyard School/Daria crossover.

Leave a (Wacky) Message at the Beep!

Happy National Inane Answering Message Day! Today's the day to take a page from Upchuck's book. No, not Playboy. I'm talking about The Daria Diaries, in which Upchuck puts the following recordings on his father's answering machine:

"This is Charles. I can't come to the phone right now, because I am occupado. I could tell you what I am doing, but let's not ruin the mystery. At the tone, leave your name, number, and the time you called, and I will get back to you as soon as I can tear myself away from my life of intrigue, about which I cannot be specific, lest I put both my life and yours in danger."

"No, no...not now, girls! This is Charles Ruttheimer the Third, and you have reached my answering machine...please, ladies, patience!...speak clearly at the tone and...I'm on my way, my dears!...they so hate to be kept waiting...anyway, I'll get back to you as soon as possible...if this is an emergency, well, so is a woman on fire!"

"You have successfully contacted the underground grotto of The Ruttheimer Group, currently engineering our secret plan to achieve world domination by the year 2010. If you would like to know more about our plans to gain global control of mass media, subjugate the military forces of every nation on Earth, and install Charles Ruttheimer the Third as supreme ruler of all humankind, please leave your name and address at the beep, and we will send you an informative brochure and a free bumper sticker."

His father was not amused. I noticed the world domination plans aren't going so well, though. The Ruttheimer Group was supposed to take over last year, after all. Unless...they did. (Ominous yet feisty music plays.)


Fanfic Update!

• Lots of hilarious ficlets in Roentgen's Iron Chef: Stupid Sexy Daria! thread. Most of them are too short to quote, so go read them now!


• Daria/Dorian 12: Spring Breaks, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "'Mom, even if you had told me, I would have made some snarky remark about you were having a flashback moment to your commune days. That night - when I needed someone to help with the pain - you were the one that held me. And just like a good lawyer, you were prepared - despite the obvious need for skepticism. I also know that I wouldn't be anywhere near sane if you, dad, Jane, and Quinn hadn't been there for me. So don't worry about what that bitch in a dress two sizes too small said.'"


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Beast Boy: Speedy delivery for Raven. Raven: (taking the package from him) This smells terrible. Daria: Like a terribly obvious plot development? Raven: (opening it) No just terrible. Oh God! "


• Fugitive Chapter 6: Irish Folk, by Wassersauefer (part 1): "Chester speed up the stair and nearly crashed into wall when he rushed around a corner, then he stopped in front of a door. Said door was white, as white as every wall and door frame in the house, and adorned with Hello Kitty stickers and a door poster from Twilight. 'It's coming from there.' 'At least we know, that this bitch is certainly evil,' Bob mumbled with a sour look at the pale face of Robert Pattinson."


• General Semantics, Private Angst, by gwrtheyrn (part 34): "The other humans had left for the Palace, after Dr Sloane had told one of his larger vehicles to obey Chair and Daria. Daria Morgendorffer 2 had to hope that President Landon was a force for truth and justice, but still felt obliged to protect her AI allies. Her ad hoc plan was to get them the heck out of Dodge before the looming invasion, and to hope that Chair then could work with her to get some response out of her 'extra brain.'"


• Ghost Girl Chapter 4, by Pumpkin Panic (part 7): "Jane looked to the two girls still hugging eacother and crying, 'Why don't you two poof like they did?' 'I can't go yet! I need to get a message to Brittaney and too my little brother.' Angie sniffed. Brooke looked at them though and Daria knew she was going to make this difficult, 'And I want you to catch that ass hole who killed us!'"


• God Save The Esteem ep19: Shock of the New Kid, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'It's like... you're a square brain and totally uggo too, no offence, and you're good at that, right? That's what you do. And I'm good at what I do, so if someone's better than me...' Quinn looked at Daria with a brief glimpse of fear and confusion, someone who lacked the words. 'Like, what if there was a brain and they were a bigger brain than you and everyone was ignoring your braininess over them? That'd suck, right?'" (Part 4) (Part 5)


• Holiday Roadtrip, by Chris Tucker: "The smallest of the three friends had just snaked her way out of the car by way of the window and was standing on the guardrail, balancing herself with a few fingertips on the car roof. Walking along the cylindrical horizontal beam of the rail, she made it past the front of the car and stepped down in front of it. She squatted and eyeballed the two front tires. She stood and pointed to the right-hand tire. Bringing her hand up, she made the classic 'cutthroat' gesture."


• How to Train Your Daria, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Stepping off the rickety wooden ship, Daria hoisted her duffel bag and looked around. The island she had just arrived at was lacking in amenities such as cable and indoor plumbing, but otherwise seemed nice. Jane, Mack, Kevin and Brittany stood beside her, and behind her was Ms. Li, Mr. O'Neill, and Mr. DeMartino. As they walked along the dock, a large man walked up to them and smiled."


• Jane Morgendorffer, by LadieT (part 36): "Christmas Eve morning, Daria woke up to a sight she thought she would never get to see except for on television. Snow - there was actual white flakes falling from the sky on CHRISTMAS EVE. She had always wondered what a White Christmas looked like in person and now here it was. Daria stood there silently, watching the snow as some of the flakes stuck to the window."


• John Lane 48: A Boston We Will Go, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "At long last, Amy parked her car in her driveway and said, 'Home at last, home at last. Thank God almighty, I'm home at last.' Climbing out and grabbing her suitcase, she walked to her apartment. Thinking about the call she promised to make, she thought for a moment and then said, 'Hmm, Mother still owes me a big favor and this might be a good time to aim for two birds with that stone. Or perhaps four.'"


• Just One Date, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Her thoughts drifted from topic to topic until finally they settled on Charles. What to do? She thought to herself. He seems like a nice enough guy, but I don’t know. Is this me being scared of having a boyfriend after that debacle with Ted, or is there something more to this? Am I scared of having to choose between Charles and Trent, assuming Trent ever noticed me?" (Part 7) (Part 8)


• Lawndale Hillbillies: Big Bucks, by Smijey (part 1): "'Perspective is hard,' Brittany Taylor opined. Daria Morgan glanced over at her paper, and noticed she was having a difficult time completing the assignment. 'Ain't that hard,' she said. 'It's like a shootin' range...well, I guess you wouldn't know what that's like,' she said, as the airy blonde cheerleader seemed very much like the type you wouldn't find at such an establishment. 'Oh! I go to the shooting range all the time! My Uncle Buck takes me.'"


• Legends Of The Metal, by TheExcellentS (part 13): "Finally, it was time to go. Upchuck would be tasked with driving the bus to Battersmith, while Tom followed behind in the Druid Plow. Now that the card had been armed by The Guardian of Metal, he was ready for anything that Bladehenge threw in his way. The number of personnel in the Ironheade army at this point in time came in at 22, which included all the headbangers, razor girls and Killmasters, as well as Daria, Trent, Jane, Upchuck, Jodie and Burnout."


• Legends of The Metal: Sidestory - Drowning in Despair, by Ixmythot (COMPLETE!): "Daria stood, the bitter cold of the icy winds of the mountains surrounding Death's Clutch chilling her to the bone, her eyes glancing up just to catch the last glimpses of the Deuce as it drove off. He left her, he actually left her, after all the words he said about trusting her, about caring for her. Everything he said was a lie, even after all she had done to protect him, to protect Ironheade from themselves, from Jane's distrust, her constant hatred. All for nothing."


• Life Beyond Highland (Iron Chef: Lawndale State), by LadieT (part 14): "Lawndale State had twice the number of students of Kilgore. The size of the science class reminded her of her days at Highland High. As she was getting situated at one of the lab tables, a girl with a familiar face and blonde hair approached her. It took her a moment to realize that it was the girl she met at the Zon."


• Quinn's Code - Story 1: The Esteemsters Code, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "Excerpt from the Diary of Alexandra Joy 'Sandi' Griffin (September 21, 2005) I confronted that Morgangeeker at Lunch. But, like, it backfired! The group of people hanging around her all backed her up! Like at least a quarter of the more popular freshmen are now against me! I heard whispers in class afterwards... Sandi closed her diary and began to think of a plan. A plan on how to destroy Quinn's popularity..."


• Screams of Silence, by Jim North: "'This long?' I ask. 'What do you mean "this long"?' He screws his face up, looking as if he's doing mental calisthenics. 'Well, since the fog rolled in there hasn't been a real nighttime, so it's kinda hard to say, but I think I've been here . . . three days? Not quite four.' Everything inside my chest suddenly tries to drop out by way of my stomach. I can feel the blood draining away from my face. 'That can't be right.'"


• Spirit of the Game, Nature of the Beast, by HolyGrail2007 (part 16): "It made Bianca realize all she ever did look for was how to use and manipulate, and she was unable to see what a friend she could have made, a real friendship, not the pretty smile hiding the self-interest. Tom didn’t hide behind manners and smiles, he simply was. If Tom knew what she was really after, he should hate her, although rationality and emotion never did mesh well together. And he deserved to know, too."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): "Realizing my what??? Daria said to herself, frowning slightly. She hadn't meant to pay close attention, but this concept was so bizarre that it flew right past her. She raised her hand in order to get O'Neill's attention, but he didn't seem to notice."


• Worldburner: The Platinum Guard, by Roentgen: "In this universe rested five other Dopplegangers. From what he could tell from their various timelines - he was not as adept at scrying as the armor bearer - they would become legends if their various universes survived. It was then that he felt the stirring behind him. It was a whisper, almost subtle. He could feel mystical power come into play behind him. Soft breath by candlelight. A child's whisper. The footprint of the unknown. And the voice almost, but not quite, said, you are in my power...."


• You've Got Trouble, My Friend (Writeoff Challenge 8), by ticknart: "Outside the boardroom, he grabbed his stomach, feeling nauseous. Never did he think he'd be the kind of man who would stoop to blackmail. It didn't feel right to him. But it wasn't right that Mantly-Hart would fire him for warning them of possible lawsuits. Were the projections so good that they wouldn't have to worry about the wrongful death claims if Michael's analysis was right? He supposed they were, otherwise why would they be so calm in the meeting?"

Upchuck's Role Model, As It Were

This is the 84th birthday of Playboy magnate Hugh Hefner, and who better to handle the alter ego than Charles Ruttheimer III. Amazing what you can do with degrees in both psychology and creative writing. (Read HH's bio.) Upchuck and Mr. Hefner are mentioned together a lot in Daria fanfiction, of course.

Seen any Jane Lanes around lately?

Stay tooned.

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 42: The Suburban Symphony, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): “Is Finn there?” a voice with a slight slur had answered. The voice was not one Helen knew. “He isn’t. He’s in Boston for the weekend.” “Boston!” The girl’s voice was enchanted. “And he didn’t invite me.” The sentence tapered into a sharp hiccup. “Who is this?” Helen had asked. “My name? It’s... Lindy.”
• Ring-a-Ling, by Doggieboy (Part 4): Andrea Hecuba sat back on a couch, her feet propped up on a coffee table and a can of Fizzy Gulp in her left hand. A remote control device rested on her midriff and moved slightly as she breathed. A music video blared on a television. She watched it in comfort. Of course, she was more comfortable since her parents were at the hospital visiting a sick friend. The telephone rang. She pushed the mute button on the remote control, then she answered the phone. “Yeah?”
• NEW! Tom Sloane: Angel or Demon? by Quiverwing (COMPLETE!): As I wait for Tom Sloane at Babylon, a restaurant with scintillating views across London’s skyline, I can't help but wonder which Tom is going to show up. Will it be the preppy, sophisticated heir of the Sloane fortune? Or the cynic, charming, low-key ex-boyfriend of Daria Morgendorffer?
  

Much Ado About Everything

Another eventful day in Daria-land. A poor fellow with the dreadful name of Hymen Lipman, just 152 years ago, invented the pencil eraser. This was mentioned in an earlier post. Also mentioned in an earlier post is the fact that today is Vincent van Gogh's birthday anniversary. Jake was the van Gogh alter ego model, and Upchuck was the pencil's.

What went unmentioned is that this is National Doctor's Day, which Brittany commemorates here. Thank you, doctors! And it is Francisco Goya's 264th birthday anniversary, the same Goya that Ted and Jane rave about in "The New Kid." See if this fan-art re-creation by Minx of one of his most famous paintings triggers a memory of his work.

It is also apparently Hot Dog Day, not sure why (Kevin is the mascot), and Celine Dion's birthday, with Daria as the fan-art alter ego (by Liliane Grenier).

Lots to celebrate, go to it.

IMPORTANT NOTE: Anyone who knows of Moscow-based Daria fans should check in with them as soon as possible to make sure they are okay, in view of the subway bombings there yesterday. Give them our best wishes, please.

PPMB

• NEW! Anti-Trope, by Minx (Chapter 2, Part 5): "I'm sorry to be the one to beak it to you D-man," Dean flinched at his new nickname. "But some guy is in there macking on Jane," Joey replied. "Oh my God, does Jodie know?" Jamie asked as he alternated his gaze between Dean and Joey. "Not Mack, mack-ing," Joey reiterated. "So, Jodie's in on it, like a threesome?"
  
• As Loud as My Heart, by Ranchoth (Part 1): Daria passed by another farm of upright Plexiglas tubes—all "empty," though a few bubbled with dingy liquid. She was just glad none had people in them at the moment. Or anything worse...
• NEW! The Dream of the White Darkness will be continued by jtranser on SFMB, because of adult content.
  
• Falling into College 72: Valley of Love and Delight, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): After she and Michael had changed into more appropriate traveling clothes, Daria stopped next to the bed to pet Bump. "We'll be back for you in two weeks, so take it easy on Mom." "Meow." "But you don't have to go easy on Quinn. I think she'll make an excellent chief of staff while we're gone."

• Finn Morgendorffer 40: Higher Learning, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): “Hey Mack, Hey, Jodie.” Finn greeted the pair as he walked down the hall of the school the next day. “Hey, Finn.” Mack seemed bummed out, but managed a smile. “What’s wrong, bud?” “The meeting at the bank didn’t go so well.” Jodie explained. “His father can’t get the loan.” “I won’t be able to afford Vance without a scholarship now. And that’s a long shot.”
  
• Lawndale's Finest: Detective Stories #4—Power Struggle, by Jim North (continued): "No charges are being brought against Supergirl," Jane replied, though she sounded far from happy about it. "All of the witnesses confirmed that Val avoided the cops to cross a police line and that Supergirl did everything she could to save her." She took a swallow of her drink and stared down into the neck of the bottle. "Not that the press believed a word of it, of course. They still seem to think I snatched her up and dropped her down on the mine myself." "But you didn't," said Trent. "No, I didn't," Jane echoed sourly. "But it was because of me she was even there. She was chasing after me. She had me on the ropes, she knew it, and she was moving in to finish me off."
• Regifted 2: I Put Away Joyless Things, by Ajar (Part 6): “Well, if it isn't the guy who disappeared without a trace,” Jane said sarcastically. “I wasn't expecting you back from the abduction so soon.” “Yeah, sorry about that,” Ryan said, entranced by his shoes. “I just wasn't quite expecting... just who was that kid, anyway?” “That's Artie. He had his skin replaced by a synthetic skin when he was abducted.”

It's Viagra Day! Go, Upchuck!

Yes, it's been a loooong twelve years since Viagra was turned loose upon the world, and that merits mention here only because of Upchuck, who probably doesn't need it. (A recent fanfic making use of Viagra appears here.)

This is National Joe Day, but there are no Joes in Daria, except for this one, who was in this story.

The namesake of a certain well-known Daria fan & writer was born this day 165 years ago. It also seems today is when you should mark the festivities of Earth Hour, which means to just shut off any electricity you don't need.

DariaWiki chugs along at a great pace with many new pages, helped along by the likes of Brother Grimace, CR85747, Richard Lobinske, Doggieboy, Disco316, Kara Wild, JPAGC, Quiverwing, Roentgen, Darkkuno, Jim North, Ticknart, and Boandpop (vlora). Thank you, one and all!

ART UPDATE! Richard Lobinske has updated the art listing for 2010! Great stuff out there!

PPMB

• NEW! collar, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): Stacy trailed off and put a hand over her mouth. "I'm sorry, this may be going a little too fast. Can we just skip it for toni—" "No," Sandi suddenly said, standing up straight and crossing her arms. "She wanted to know everything about our lifestyle, so we should tell her." "Sandi, I—" "It's the punishment stool," Sandi continued with lethal calm. "Whenever Stacy does something bad, I put the stool in the middle of the living room and she has to sit on it until I think she's learned her lesson." [NEW! Ending is here: "Welcome back." Quinn lifted her face to see Stacy sitting on the steps beside her. The other woman was still in her collar and bedclothes, and she was staring up at the predawn sky. Quinn tried to speak, found her throat to be stuffed up with phlegm, and had to stop and clear it.] (SFMB)
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 39: That S-E-X Word, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 3): Maybe I should just stop thinking about this, Finn thought. Jane knows I haven’t done anything like this. And she hasn’t, I know that for a fact. So, there’s no, like, expectations or anything. I can get through it. I. Can. Do. This. Finn smiled to himself. He almost didn’t make it to the bathroom before throwing up.
  
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 20): How can someone who doesn't even know about YouTube know about the Khaki Barn?
• NEW! Jacob Morgendorffer, Esq., by CAP (Part 6): As for the area itself, quiet was the word that came immediately into Helen’s mind.... The tracks were perhaps a bit close but Helen enjoyed the cadence of a passing train. It conjured the romance of travel especially when its seductive rhythm teased her in the deep dark of night. It was an aural aphrodisiac. Jake felt the same way. Quinn likely owned her existence to a passing Norfolk Southern zipping past their home one warm late spring night.

Rrrrrrr.... Feisty!

Today is the 32nd birthday of Geoffrey Arend, who gave voice to Charles Ruttheimer III in Daria. Thank you, man! I think the image at left is supposed to be Upchuck as "Eraserhead" (bad pun, but good enough for us). Three voice samples are hidden in the above paragraph, all from Mr. Arend.

Speaking of eraserheads, today is the 71st anniversary of the discovery of "Dord." I won't explain it, you'll have to look this one up. It's great.

Just because everyone in this fandom knows his artwork, we celebrate the 190th birthday of Sir John Tenniel, who draw those images of Alice in Wonderland we grew up loving. Thanks, man!

NEW! Richard Lobinske has expanded the list of 2010 Daria fan art once again!

"...we are compelled to ask, what is love?"

Yes, my friends and followers, love is in the air, dropping like nuclear fallout across the world, irradiating us with its rosy glow, weakening us with the sickness of desire. It's St. Valentine's Day, and Cupid is shooting his Love Taser everywhere. Will you feel the shock of passion? Will you collapse with romantic tingles when the Love Taser finds you? Beats me.

Seventy-six years ago, love touched someone in a Daria fanfic. And ten years ago in another fanfic, an important message had to be delivered by this date. Was it a missive of desire? Read the story and find out!

BTW, TelevisionWithoutPity.com has a very active message board of late about Daria and the DVDs. The link takes you right there.

Stay tooned.

Can You Tell Me How to Get, How to Get to...

This day is the 40th anniversary of the premiere of Sesame Street, and the 234th anniversary of the birth of the U.S. Marine Corps. Pinhead the Great produced the giant-sized images (click on them) used for this day. I think Daria is wearing part of Grover's outfit. Not difficult to guess her opinion of it. And Upchuck... not sure if he's supposed to be Rambo or some other action hero. What does he think of it? Ah, well.

And a brief note from the Sick, Sad Life Planner:

Turning Over a New Leif?

Today is Leif Erikson Day, celebrating the first landing of Europeans on North American shores (meaning Newfoundland) just over 1,000 years ago. Leif was a Viking's Viking. Alternate histories sometimes toy with the question of what might have happened if the Vikings had managed to expand their colonies in the New World. It's anyone's guess there. Maybe we'd have the mighty Upchuck of the North or something.

The last known supernova in the Milky Way Galaxy appeared in the sky 405 years ago today. Closer to our own time, Entertainment Weekly named Daria Morgendorffer one of its "cartoon divas" 11 years ago. Daria gained her new status at the same time as did Tinkerbell, Veronica from the Archie comics, and... um... Foghorn Leghorn? WTF?

MTV Animation, which produced Daria and so many other wonders, closed its doors for good eight years ago today. The collage at upper right shows the major MTV cartoons 0f 1996, just before Daria appeared. Rest in peace, MTV Animation, and thank you.

GNUZ ALERT! Quiverwing has just posted the rules for the 2009 Daria Fanworks Awards on PPMB. Read over them now and start picking out your favorites!

PPMB

• NEW! The Curse of El Smoocho, by Roentgen (Part 4): Quinn stormed over to the door. "Daria, why do you want to ruin my life?" she yelled. "I'm sorry for lacing my boots in the unapproved 'under' method. With the help of God and family, I can change—"
  
• Detective Stories 4: Fledge, by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): Stacy leaned on her cane and, in an effort to distract herself from the constant itching of her right leg, peered over Daria’s shoulder at the computer screen. “What are you working on?”
• Finn Morgendorffer 6: Beautiful, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 3): “I’m fat,” Finn finally moaned. Unlike his normal complaining, Finn now sounded like he was two steps away from crying. “Fat?” Daria thought. She had many choice words to cut her brother down to size. Some curse words, some normal ones, and some Finn would have never heard of. But “fat” was not an insult she reserved for him.
• NEW! Meowlody Powers, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): The busy crowd and layout of store displays made Meowlody's job difficult as she patrolled the area. Zhreow would come in close, because, like Meowlody, she believed in the personal touch. That would be Meowlody's only chance to stop the assassination, even at the risk of being detected and forever losing her ability to be an agent. (FF.net)
  

Summer Feisty, Summer Not

Upchuck welcomes summertime weather in this image from the Sick, Sad Life Planner CD. If you want the audio portion, click here after you turn up your speakers.

Apparently everyone on the planet has decided to write Daria fanfic, so my update here will take a few minutes to assemble. I can hardly complain. An excess of fanfic is better than the alternative. A little news first:

Roxanne M has started a new PPMB Iron Chef: Famous Movie Lines. See what you can do with that. I remember Richard Lobinske used the line, "Top of the world, ma!" in a fanfic once.

Brandon League's new Iron Chef is called Favorite Aunt Meets Amiga. Three guesses what it's about, and the first two don't count. ("I really admire your fortitude, Jane," Amy gasped.)

Fanfic writer ninetwelve needs help for writer's block.

Looking for Daria crossovers at FF.net to read? Want to post your own? Here's the place!

FF.net

• It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time, by Medea42 (COMPLETE!): [WARNING: This is a Daria/Harry Potter crossover which has been further crossed over with a third story world, the nature of which is too horrible to reveal here. I dare not even post a spoiler. Read it at your own risk! Heh heh heh heh heh...]
• Sinspiration, by Vlora (Part 14): Daria plodded along the Mall of the Millennium, ignoring doo-dads and whozits. It seemed as if there was nothing she could do but walk. She eventually arrived at her ideal location. A smile sprawled out across her face for a split second before dropping back to indifference. Wally’s Watches and Winches. Daria didn’t know why they sold winches and watches in the same store, but she ignored this minor detail and entered the store with barely suppressed disgust at the store’s overpriced and "family-friendly" approach.

PPMB

• Daylight: Fallen From Grace: I Should Have Been Home Yesterday, by Disco 316 (Part 6): As the women approached within 25 feet, the smaller man yelled, “Halt, who goes there!” and pointed his sword at the women. The tone of his was intended to be stern, though the intimidating effect was somewhat negated by the higher register and reedy quality of his voice. The redhead at the front of the group replied. “Hi, I’m Quinn, and this is Sandi and Stacy.” She gestured to both in turn. “We’re just passing through on our way to Nitro, so if you don’t mind letting us go through…”
• Gimme Skelter, by TAG (Part 3): It happened so quickly there was no time to shoot or even call out.
• John Lane 40: Starry Eyes Open, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): "Hello, Tom," a pretty blonde said while stepping past Quinn as if she wasn't there. Uncomfortable and annoyed, he said, "Hi, Melanie." "It's nice to see you out and about like this instead of skulking around the little people." "Ahem," Quinn sharply said.
• Lawndale's Finest: The Dark Knight, by NightGoblyn (Chapter 4, Part 2): “So, how’s Stacy?” Charles asked. “How do you think she is?” Quinn answered sadly. The couple stood on the school lawn, shivering slightly in their heavy winter coats and watching the light snow drifting down. “She went from Olympic hopeful to crippled orphan before she graduated high school.”
• Unnamed story (Dead Like Me crossover), by Pinkminx (Part 2): "What do you mean dead? How can I be dead? I'd remember it, I'd have felt it!" [story was started here, then moved here] (FF.net).
  
• Unnamed story (The Daria Fan Fiction Classification Test), by Brandon League (COMPLETE!): Daria sat in the room. Hell, it beat standing. [That's the entire fanfic.]
• Unnamed story (The Daria Fan Fiction Classification Test), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer sat in the room. She waited quietly, though she was not necessarily patient about it. It was hard to be patient when the surrounding rooms had zombies in them.
• Unnamed story (The Daria Fan Fiction Classification Test), by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): Daria sat in the room. Where the room was at or its contents were irrelevant. The quiet...the quiet was what was important. Inside, there was peace. Rest. Sanity.
  

More shortly. Stay tuned, amigas.

Yaaay, Pencils!

On this great day, 151 years ago, Hymen Lipman invented the pencil with an eraser on top. Let's give him a big hand.














Okay, forget it. We'll pick this up later on.


PPMB

• Falling into College 67: How Did We Get All This Stuff? by Richard Lobinske (Part 2): Arriving home after their long drive, Daria and Jane were surprised to find a pile of boxes and luggage in the apartment. "What the hell?" Daria asked.
• Iron Chef: No Tom: Got some good ones in here!
  
• Lawndale's Finest: The Dark Knight, by NightGoblyn (continued): “Tiffany?” Stacy called out, tapping on her friend’s bedroom door. “Your mom said I should come on up, are you awake?” Stacy heard some unintelligible muttering from inside the room and pushed the door open.
• Love Is a Series of Burning Sensations, by Undefinedlust (continued): Dragging herself from bed, Jane laughed at how appropriate the song seemed that morning. Last night, like all the nights since the previous Sunday had been a tough one. Her emotions swirled violently around feelings of despair that she would never have the woman she wanted, and a counter stream of desire that she could not push away, no matter how hard she tried.
  
• Things Fall Apart, by Doggieboy (Part 5): Martin Peters streaked into the skies as fast as he could; he neither looked behind him nor tried to defend himself. When the lightning bolt struck him, however, it still came as a surprise.
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): "You should thank me," Kelly said. "After Thursday's fiasco, you're lucky I don't go Brooke on you." "But you're still in the Fashion Club," said Quinn. "Because Sandi hasn't seen fit to dispose of me yet," Kelly said and took a defiant bite of her pizza.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Drunk as a Skunk and Twice as Stunk), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): A bit of one-upmanship between Daria and the nemesis of the free world.
  

Forever Upchuck

Today is the birthday of the Voice of Upchuck: Geoffrey Arend. Rrrowrrr! He also voiced a number of minor characters, some of whom might surprise you. (Check the link.)

Two days ago on Thursday, it was the eighth sappy anniversary of the premiere of "Sappy Anniversary," from the fifth and last season of Daria. I wonder how else that episode could have turned out. Jake could have been kept on by Buzzdome Dot Com, Daria could have continued waiting for Tom to remember their six-month anniversary until she snapped and ran over him with her mother's SUV, UFOs could have landed, anything could have happened.

This is about the time of year that a story by Dennis takes place. Try to guess it before you click this link.

More soon. Gotta get stuff done here.

BACK! Undefinedlust posted two questions for Daria fandom: Which unfinished fanfic do you most want to see finished? & In whose world do you most want to play (i.e., write more stories about)? Read and respond!

Latest additions to DariaWiki: Cradle, by Brother Grimace, and Fife in the Fast Lane, by Disco316. Both Brother Grimace and Disco316, plus Dennis, DocForbin, Ranchoth, Doggieboy, and Drmike have given DariaWiki a good going-over. Thank you! More help is needed, if anyone else has time.


FF.net

• Liquid Diet, by Smileyfax (Part 6): They were at the PayDay, picking up a few items in bulk. Daria held a jumbo can of lighter fluid in one hand already, while Jane had a five-pound can of coffee. (The Lane household was running low on the stuff—she had no intention of battling vampires with it.)

PPMB

• Acts of Cupidity, by Disco316 (Part 4): “She drank his wine, he drank in her beauty, and then they drank each other’s blood! Love, Transylvanian Style, next on Sick Sad World!”
• All in the Family...Guy, by peapotmaster (Part 2): "Life’s a bitch, and so am I."
• Hearts, by UU (Part 1): "Sorry for waking you up and dragging you out of the house, but I needed company today," said Jane, mystery in her voice. (Story has been CONTINUED!)
• John Lane 39: Leaving Summer (Part 1): "Good one, Morgendorffer," she said, sounding very much like her mother. "You're the dating expert; why didn't you see that coming?"
• A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (Part 6): Dangerously close to a Daria/Kevin 'shipper, here. Wait! Look out! AAAAAAAAHHH!!!! You mentioned Brittany and Kentucky in the same sentence! AAAAAAAAHH!!
  
• Turnabout Confusion Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): "What do you think we should do?" Ted said, not needing to elaborate. They both knew what he was talking about.
  

Look! Bikinis!

This is an image of a bikini kiosk in a mall, probably the Lawndale Mall, taken from an old version of MTV's Daria website. It is here to show that I have not forgotten the thing about Helen's boobs, but Real Life is dictating different issues at the moment. Plus, I wasn't able to post earlier today and thought the bikini kiosk, beloved of Upchuck, would bring the forgiveness of the readers.

If not, tough.

More this weekend.

Who in the world is Upchuck pretending to be?

Okay, here's a clue: I thought it was from a TV show, particularly a cop show like Starsky and Hutch.

But I was wrong. It's from a movie. The artist was quite devious.

Moar l8r.

ANNIVERSARIES: Nine years ago today, Kara Wild posted "Erin the Head." Read and remember.

SAD NEWS DEPT.: MartinUK informs us that The Irony Maiden website has gone down and might not be coming up again. In that event, I will try to reconnect the links in the Daria Directory with WayBack Machine versions of Irony Maiden, particularly the excellent Dariacon advice that was there. Very sorry to hear this.

GIVE UP? If you want the answer to who Upchuck is (and you will be surprised), click here. Enjoy.

FF.net

• Dancing with the Devil by the Pale Moonlight, by Batlurker, a.k.a. Lorenzo Sauchelli (Parts 1 and 2): “Huh?” Trent blinked. “Who?” The man smiled slightly and pointed at the article. “Jane Lane, age 19. You know her, don’t you?”
• Daria One Half, by Batlurker, a.k.a. Lorenzo Sauchelli the Writing Machine! (Part 5): Mrs. Manson looked at Ranma and nodded to herself. "As you can see, our Lawndale High students take great pride in their school. That's why you'll be taking a small psychological exam to spot any little clouds on the horizon as you sail the student seas of Lawndale High."
  

PPMB

• Order and Chaos, by Legendeld (Part 19): Jake was fuming as he paced. “In my own house, a damn Jedi temple.”
• Other Side, by Legendeld the Writing Machine! (Part 4): Daniel smiled down at Daria as he lowered her to the floor. “I never heard of someone coming back from falling down a Tesla hole before.”
  

AUGH! Now getting a 404 Not Found error for DariaWiki! AUGH!

Oh, right, I forgot they were moving the site to a new server this weekend. Never mind! It'll be back soon.

Two More Alter-Ego Puzzles

To be fair, I figured out who Upchuck (at right) was disguised as. I kept thinking his weird haircut and posture meant something. They did, even though the official MTV caption on the "Daria: Alter Egos" flipbook gave no clue. ("Upchuck whips out his pistol.") Can anyone else guess who he's supposed to be?

Mr. DeMartino (at left), however, has me stumped. The weird makeup, hair, clothing—beats me, man. Looks like something off a horror movie or Tim Burton production.

Your turn. Who are these guys?


NEWS FLASH: Over 60,000 visits to this blog! Thank you!

PPMB

• John Lane 38: Yeah, It's Summer, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): WTF?!?!?! OMG!!! YESSSSS!!! I KNEW SHE'D DO IT!!! ALL HAIL ALISON, QUEEN OF ANGSTOSTAN!!!
• Snuffed Animals, by Disco316 (Part 4): Daria stared at her computer screen, as she had been doing for the last 15 minutes. Damn, still no spontaneously generated story ideas. Well, except that one, but hearing what people are thinking has been done to death.
• Two Halves, by Dark Kuno (Part 6.5 of Chapter 3): Hospital? Did someone say hospital? Does that mean.... angst?

When the Guns Fell Silent

Charles Ruttheimer III is decked out for Veterans Day today in the USA. He's served in the military in several fanfics ("Darkness," off the top of my head). This day is also Remembrance Day in the Commonwealth and Armistice Day in Europe.

I'm trying to figure out if Upchuck here is posing as a movie character. I don't think it's Rambo (can't find similar picture). Any ideas?

I'll give one more day on guessing who Quinn is supposed to be in the previous blog post. (Hint: In a roundabout way, it had something to do with the military.) Good luck. The answer will appear at 11 a.m. today, Eastern time.

Now 1,030 members of the Daria Fan Club. Excellent. More soon.