Like Helen Would Miss Work Even If It Wasn't Fun

Helen's clearly enjoying herself, possibly because it's Don't Go to Work Unless it's Fun Day and I'm not sure she makes any distinction between "work" and "fun." I guess if that makes her happy, who am I to question her priorities, life choices, and/or sanity?

Passover begins at sundown tonight, so "Chag Sameach" to the Jewish Daria fans out there.

Fanfic Update!

• A Boring Summer, by ST91 (part 7): "Ground, please swallow me up! Dario pleaded mentally after hearing Brittany giggling."


• Daria: College Pains The Sophomore Year, by James the Lesser (part 6): "Daria is walking to the parking lot from class when she sees Tony. They had not spoken since he had broken up with Mary. 'Uh, hey.' 'Oh, hey Daria. Just out of class?'"


• Getting out of Mandatory Summer Activities (World's Shortest Crossover, Part XIV: The Crossover Awakens!), by Kuriamo22 (COMPLETE!): "Daria walked down the back alley to the Good Times Chinese takeout restaurant while carrying a suitcase in addition to her backpack."


• In Defense, by neonhomer (COMPLETE!): "Under the carport, Trent paused as he closed the umbrella, shaking the water from it, before placing it into a plastic bag. He turned to follow after Jane, who was standing in front of the double wooden doors, hand on the handle, unmoving. 'Janey?' 'I'm okay, Trent.' 'No, you're not.'"


• Is it Curtain Yet?, by Zetor (part 2): "Jane stood back from her latest work, tapping her finger against her cheek, trying to figure out why she wasn't satisfied. Her brother poked his head in her door 'Hey Janey, Daria's on the phone,' he said in his usual raspy voice."


• A Nutty Day at Work, by HetaliaLove88 (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer had been forced by her mother to begin to work at Nutty Nutty Nutty World a few days ago. Unfortunately, she worked alongside Kevin Thompson, who still hadn't learned to read the labels on the tubs of nuts in the little stand that the both of them worked at."


• Redux, by Princess_Pasta (part 18): "Quinn didn't expect to have anybody barging into her room while she was getting ready but, then again, she didn't know what to expect anymore."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: The Madness Sets In), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "The duo sat down heavily at one of the empty tables in Good Times Chinese Restaurant. They looked the odd pair, the scrawny Trent Lane and the much stouter 'Mack' Mackenzie."

Hooray for Overworked Lawyers!

Helen's celebrating Work-a-holics Day with great enthusiasm, but she'd better cut it short and get back to that paperwork. The firm is counting on her, after all!

Today we also observe the anniversary of the episode "Mart of Darkness," which first aired on this day in 2000. In honor of it, we will be giving out free samples and holding a command performance of Madame Butterfly in the automotive department.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria: College Pains Redux, by James the Lesser (part 15): "Halloween was coming and all the colleges were abuzz with various parties. People were talking about costumes. Daria ignored it all. She wasn't going to any big parties. Nothing would get her to go. So she thought."


• Jane's esteem, by EntrancedCat (part 1): "'I've never taught self-esteem to teens, Angela,' Timothy O'Neill expressed to his boss, Principal Angela Li. 'I'm not sure I have the self-confidence to give these teens the self-confidence which they so desperately need.'"


• Trip Down Memory Lane, by Evil Icing (part 1): "Oh. That's right. For some odd reason, Jane found herself victim to a reminiscing older brother, stuck on a road trip to—make things worse—the dreaded yearly family reunion. And every year they just got worse."

"It's more than a quirk. I've got to confess I'm addicted to work!"

Today is Workaholics Day, the holiday custom-made for Helen Morgendorffer. Helen is celebrating at work, of course, but only for a moment before she dives right back into those depositions.

This is also the anniversary of the episode "Mart of Darkness," which first aired on this day in 2000. Come for the gummy bears, stay for the command performance of Madame Butterfly in the automotive department.

Fanfic Update!

• Collateral (Proposed IC: My Secret Baby), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): " There was a narrowly arced smile on her face, and the innocent glints in her eyes seemed to betray no menace. But that was what disturbed Quinn the most; it was one thing to see someone full-on embrace someone else for far more sinister purposes."


• Death and Rebirth, by ST91 (COMPLETE!): "He looked at his reflection in the mirror and smiled. For the duration of high school, to everyone except for his friends, he was Bob the Punk. Bob the Punk."


• Jane's Obsession, by BrownEyedBagel (COMPLETE!): "Random chaos started to turn into designed chaos. Minutes turned into hours. Hours turned into pizza and a shower followed by a few more minutes."


• LSD, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 8 and 9): "[So, whatcha think of the school so far?] Anna asked Daria as they walked home from school together." (Part 9)


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 11: Wilderness Adverturers, by Hyrin (part 5): "Quinn looked down at her body as her aunt and grandmother scrambled to her. Where she had only a moment ago felt an overwhelming sorrow and a horrid stomach ache, she now felt a sense of relief and peace."


• Of All The People That Won't Be Missed, by LongSnakeMoan (part 9): "Something in his words seemed to stir something in Jae and from behind Ryan he saw her silently and slowly move as everyone's attention was fixed on him and the cop."


• The Punk and the Snark, by Shiva (part 11): "Dinner was very much the disaster that Daria had predicted it to be."


• Ride (LLH Mini), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "Blumenberg said, 'Cadet Springer, Ms. Morgendorffer, good afternoon. Please say hello to my guest, Capt. John Young. John, Cadet Springer is here for training from USAES and Ms. Morgendorffer is a Legion representative.'"


• Something (Slightly) Wicked, by macross (parts 3 - 4): "'Brittany maybe you could try to give me the correct answer, that is if you mind taking your attention off that BOOK first!'" (Part 3.5) (Part 4)


• Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (part 11): "Ok, so getting kicked out of Yankee Stadium sucked BALLS!"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Daaaaaaaaaaaaaria!' Quinn called from the bottom of the stairs. 'Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaria!'"


• Untitled Random Story #2 (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "As Daria exhaled cigarette smoke in the shape of rings, Jane was at her side on the couch with a how-to book on the manufacture of crystal meth."


• What Goes On in His Night, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "He sat up in bed, ever alert, just like every night. He was always reluctant to let sleep take him, because he knew if he closed his eyes, he would go back to where nothing was safe."


• What Now? (Proposed IC: My Secret Baby), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'So you asked me to come here to talk, so what's with the mute act?'"

Litigation Tricksters, Unite!

The American Bar Association, also known as the ABA, turns 132 today. This date is even mentioned in Daria's Sick, Sad Life Planner.

To my surprise, the ABA's journal for August 2010 has a list of "the 25th greatest fictional lawyers who are not Atticus Finch." To my horror, Helen Morgendorffer is not on the list! (See comment #133, however.)

Helen, this day's for you.

Legendary animator Friz Freleng was born 108 years ago today. Hawaii became a state in the USA 51 years ago.

I plan to fill up the blank space with fanfiction later today. Hang around 4 moar.


LATE NOTE: Sorry, that didn't work. Stay tooned for tomorrow's post!

Riding the Barksdale Cannonball!

As the Sick, Sad Life Planner says, today is the 141st anniversary of the driving of the Golden Spike that united the U.S. from east to west by railroad. Helen is of course the first train through.

Today is also the 64th anniversary of the launch of the first V-2 from White Sands Proving Ground, an event commemorated in this fanfic. (See Chapter IV: Space Age.)

AND today is the day Daria returns to the airwaves! It will be on MTV2 in the USA from 5-6 AM EDT/PST! Don't miss it!

PPMB

• The Card, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): [Jane: too short to sample, go read it!]
• Finn Morgendorffer 45: Quarter Past Midnight, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): Finn’s hand was quaking so much he dropped his quarters three times in a row. He almost felt like he was going to throw up, too. Once he finally got the money in, his arm was shaking as he positioned the handset in his hand and dialed. 1 for long distance, area code, then the number. His throat started to tighten and his heart to race as he heard it ring. [LAST PART: Whoa, it’s like a quarter after midnight, Finn thought. He yawned. It was pretty late. Not for Jane, for him. Should he go ahead and give her a call? He reached for the phone, but stopped when he heard something. A slight thump sound, coming from Daria’s room. There shouldn’t be anyone there. Daria wouldn’t come home just like this already. He only called her three hours ago anyway, and that phone was supposed to be her landline. And Mom and Dad wouldn’t... could it be... a burglar? You little bastard!]
  
• Kamen Rider D, by Silver (continued): "The sands of time" is an accurate description of the appearance of what time itself looks like. A desert of white sand, broken by many of the usual rock features of a desert. Each grain, a memory. Metaphor made real. Something beautiful in and of itself, borne of the human psyche. None of this mattered to the passengers of the train that zipped along through this scenery. It helped that this wasn't out of the ordinary for them, the semi-stalwart lot that crewed the DenLiner.
• Kill All the Lawyers, by Yogi (COMPLETE!): “You know, all those lawyer jokes I used to tell are now a whole lot funnier.” Daria said. It wasn't the best of her quips, but its hard to be witty when one is bound and naked in a pentagram deep within the basement of Vitale, Davis, Horowitz, Riordan, Schrecter & Schrecter.
• NEW! Parents Are People, by Legendeld (Part 5): Jane Lane watched Daria struggling to fit some mechanical do-hickey onto the engine of her car with some small amount of amusement. Daria hadn't even noticed the group standing in the garage watching her yet as she struggled with the part. With a sudden cry of frustration, Daria straightened up then pulled back her arm to throw the part against the wall. Trent moved forward and deftly plucked it from her hand. "That won't make it fit," he said cheerfully. Daria looked at him completely stunned. "It won't go into place," Daria said, trying not to sound like she was on the verge of crying.
  
• Shining Star: Temporal Conundrum, by RLobinske (Part 10): Richard whistled and showed Archangel the message. Archangel said, "Stop a supernova. No problem. You do it all the time." "Your sarcasm is showing." "Who did you piss off upstairs?" "Who did you piss off to get stuck working with me?"
• NEW! Taking the Cake, by Vlora (COMPLETE!): A few days later, the band had been intensely involved in preparing themselves mentally for the gig that was coming up. It was a true challenge to face; more than 50 people in one venue? It would mean they'd actually have a chance to move up in the music world. Max was particularly set on the idea, adapting himself to the "criminalé" lifestyle as best he could. This involved a lot of stupid, old-school "rock" hand gestures and trying to talk tough.
• NEWEST! There's Magic Everywhere, by Yogi (COMPLETE!): “Well, that’s the last of them,” Daria’s roommate said as she put a large cardboard box on the stairs outside of dorms, pausing to wipe her forehead. Despite cold December air she was sweating hard, causing her short brown hair to stick uncomfortably to her neck. Behind her, Daria didn’t walk so much as stagger downstairs with her own cardboard box, dropping it with a loud thud then immediately collapsing onto the ground. “Physical activity,” she gasped between breaths “My... only... weakness.” [Great crossover!]
• NEWEST! Twenty Percent, by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Right, then," the impeccable dressed gentleman examined the three humans seated in front of him, "I do believe everything is in order." "I really would like to go through this again," said quietly the young man directly in front of him, picking up the papers. "if you don't mind, that is..." "By all means, Mr. Mackenzie."
  
• Unnamed story (Flinging Fourth the New Ideas Thread), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Buenos Dias, Mister Ruttheimer." Upchuck looked at the man who'd spoken. If one could call a living calaca figure a man. That thought was coupled with the fact that the skeletal figure was wrapped in a black robe and carrying a scythe. "I'm dead, aren't I." "Si." "I died a virgin." "Si. Unfortunate, that."
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mother's Day Cards), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): [Anthony: too short to sample, go read it!]
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mother's Day Cards), by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): [Brittany: too short to sample, go read it!]
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mother's Day Cards), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): [Daria: too short to sample, go read it!]
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mother's Day Cards), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): [Jodie: too short to sample, go read it!]
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mother's Day Cards), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): [Janet: too short to sample, go read it!]
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mother's Day Cards), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): [Helen: too short to sample, go read it!]
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mother's Day Cards), by Wouter (COMPLETE!): [Trent: too short to sample, go read it!]
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mother's Day Cards), by Vlora (COMPLETE!): [Jane2Trent: too short to sample, go read it!]
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mother's Day Cards), by Malakite (COMPLETE!): [Tiffany: too short to sample, go read it!]
• NEWER! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mother's Day Cards), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): [Ted: too short to sample, go read it!]
• ALSO NEWER! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mother's Day Cards), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): [to Amy: too short to sample, go read it!]
  
  

Starting the Week Off Right

A.E. van Vogt, a writer best known during the Golden Age of SF, was born this day 98 years ago. His work is commemorated in a current Daria fanfic by Gwrtheyrn, "General Semantics, Private Angst," based on van Vogt's null-A universe. Yee-haaaw!

Today is also Old Permic Alphabet Day (look it up, I won't explain it), Richter Scale Day (if you love earthquakes, which no one does), and World Intellectual Property Day, which I probably shouldn't mention for obvious reasons having to do with the subject of this blog. Nonetheless, it is a legal thing and Helen Morgendorffer likes legal things, so here it is. And I am proud to say that Daria has to be one of the best intellectual properties in existence, in my own humble opinion. Yay!

If you took a photo of Jane Lane, would she look like this? See also these two threads on real-life Jane Lanes, still in progress!

BRAKING GNUZ! DariaonDVD.com is now open through MTV! (Only for USA, sadly, but still...) Get your free T-shirt while supplies last! As it happens, though, I have too many T-shirts and have already ordered through bn.com, so... oh well!

ALSO! Ticknart has a special message to all fanfiction fans in Comments, below. Help the contest out!

ALSO! I was reliably informed that today is the first BoobQuake Day. This is only peripherally related to Daria, but, hey, it's for science.

Lucky Strikes Out

Nine years ago this very day, "Lucky Strike" premiered, closing in on the end of season five. A previous post offered some interesting information about this episode, see what you think of it. Wish we knew who the two black teachers were. They sort of magically appeared in this episode, then were never seen again. And the coach never got a speaking part. Alas.

Marianne, the legal assistant in Helen Morgendorffer's office, has a special day today (but no benefits thereof): it's Legal Assistants Day! Now she can shut up and get back to work, there's a deadline.

Today is also Purple Day (commemorating those with epilepsy), Prince Kuhio Day in Hawaii, and the birthday anniversary of poet Robert Frost and Star Trek actor Leonard Nimoy. By some accounts it is also Opposite Day, but you figure out what to do for that one. It might not be Opposite Day. Or maybe it is.

The Awesome Kem has drawn Kevin as Inspector Gadget, Brittany as his sidekick, and their dog as their dog. Dig it!

PPMB

• NEW! Apocalyptic Daria: Timeline, by Doggieboy (Part 3): In Kentucky, Major General Bartholomew J. Simpson and his wife are driving south on Interstate 65 after leaving Standford Louisville International Airport. That is when they hear the first reports of Washington and Pittsburgh being bombed.
• NEW! Cynic and Violence, by Peapotmaster (Part 2): "The planet is called Lawndale." "What kind of idiot names their planet Lawndale?" "Nerdy fan fiction writers who have nothing to do."
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 39: That S-E-X Word, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): Finn smiled. “You know I never asked, how did your date go last Saturday with Kelly?” “Fan-tastic,” Jeffy cheered. “How fantastic?” Joey, who was already starting to dress, joined in. “We went to the movie, then to the café. She was enjoying herself the whole way, and I was piling on that Mercer charm. Then we got back to her place, she invited me in, and, well...I scored! Woo!” Jeffy thrust his hips in celebration. Please point that in another direction, Finn thought to himself. [NEW! Part 2 here: Finn hung up the phone. Now he was even more depressed about the whole sex issue. Here was Daria, antisocial and a total misfit, now getting chewed out for having sex. With Tom. Finn’s best friend. Finn wasn’t sure whether to be angry or ashamed. Now even his own sister was having sex before he was. What did that make him? Nervous? Timid? Not interested in girls?]
  
• NEW! General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 20): She reconstructed it in this way: Mackenzie's orders were to kill Amanda Lane, and 'X,' and maybe Jane as well, but to leave "Enro's favourite cousin" strictly alone. She'd prevented him from carrying those instructions out. But, had Mackenzie deliberately been complicit in his wife's murder? Had that whole gruesome tableau been served up just to convince Daria of his bona fides?
• NEW! Last Man Standing, by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): "So, ummm... I'm reading a book and... it's about John Milton and..." "Woah woah woah. This is your first self-insert, and you chose to blow it like this? You could have at least done something halfway interesting with your first self-insert like go to the Adult Entertainment Expo or something." "But... I thought we could... I dunno, have a fun adventure together. Like, we could do so many Jägermeister shots together that you become too drunk to make it back to your place so you have to stay at my place. When we get there, you come on to me in your drunken stupor but I gently rebuff your advances, informing you that I want you, but not like this and..." "Yeah, that's not happening."
  
• Nobody Puts Quinn in a Corner! by Shull Bitter (Part 1): "I don't really think you'd fit in at Hampshire College. It's Shaggy." Quinn wrinkled her forehead, not ugly though, but cute like a puppy. "What's Shaggy?" "You know, from Scooby Doo? There's a legend about the characters on that show being based on Hampshire College and the schools around it. And Hampshire is Shaggy." "Ooooooh." A pause. "What school is Daphne?"

And I Think It's Gonna Be a Long, Long Time...

It's Sir Elton John's birthday, and Helen has the perfect Sir Elton alter ego (with trademark glasses) to celebrate it. Obviously he was an MTV favorite. Well done! (Thanks to Pinhead for the image.)

Today was once the start of the New Year in many Western countries. A previous blog post has all the information on this curious fact. Since Lawndale might possibly be in Maryland, we also celebrate today as Maryland Day.

Finally, believe it or not, today is the 15th anniversary of the creation of the Wiki (as in DariaWiki), and we should tip our caps to the inventor.

N0OZ!

• A new Iron Chef is up: It's Not Raining Men. Lawndale High graduate girls go to college and find out that the male-female ratio is not skewed in their favor.
• Got LLH? Authors of Legion of Lawndale Heroes tales are urged to read this message about sending your stories to Outpost Daria!
• Ranger Thorne has an idea he would like for you to steal...
  

PPMB

• Damn, by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): Things got more difficult as Tiffany ran for her life in the Overlook Hotel. After seeing creepy twins that looked like O'Neil and DeMartino, an elevator full of blood, and a naked Ms. Barch zombie, Tiffany thought there was something possibly odd going on. Still, none of that mattered now that Stacy had gone ax-crazy.
• The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): As she sat on a bus stop bench, shoulders slumped in final despair, a soft raspy voice whispered a suggestion and an address. Looking up, she saw no one, but to her surprise, she felt an irregular object digging into the palm of her hand. Opening her fist, it revealed itself to be a silver denarius of the emperor Caligula resting in her palm. Again the whisperer spoke its previous words and told her to seek "The Barber." She decided she had no other alternative, and so Daria to the dark alley came.
• Finn Morgendorffer 38: Fractures, by HolyGrail12007 (COMPLETE!): “Ummm... Daria, why do Mom and Aunt Rita and Aunt Amy fight like that?” “Fight like what?” “I mean, over me.” “Well, they do it because they disagree on everything. It’s just the way they are wired. They must disagree.” “That’s... stupid.” “Is it? That’s what we’ve been doing.”
• Interdimensional Dust Up on Twelfth of May, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer and Jane Lane turned the corner into the alley behind the Good Time Chinese restaurant, carrying a large gummy bear bag apiece. Jane's was obviously empty, and she approached the dumpster against the back wall with the intent of discarding the package. Just a step away, the receptacle rolled aside...
• Lawndale's Finest—Action Stories #4: Power Struggle, by Jim North (continued): She heard more shouting from behind her, which put her teeth on edge. She turned again, this time to ask for some quiet so she could concentrate, when she noticed the reason for all the yelling. Val had arrived, slipped over the fence, and was running straight toward Jane with a determined look on her face. All Jane could do at first was goggle uselessly at the approaching blonde, but she recovered and tried to wave her off. "Val, get back! Now!" "Not until I get answers, SupergiiiiiiiiiRRAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!"
• NEWER! The Lions' Roar, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Just after lunch, an explosion rocked the school. Many of the students cried out in shock and fear while Ms. Li, principal of Lawndale High, smiled over her laced fingers, eyes like diamond chips in a show storm. "I knew this day would come."
  
• NEW! Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): [A scene from "Dye! Dye! My Darling" set to Gordon Lightfoot's "If You Could Read My Mind." And it works!]
  

Birthday Girls

According to a certain popular fanfic, today is Daria Morgendorffer's 27th birthday! Thanks to Austin Covello for that date and the story.

In the real world, actress Wendy Hoopes (at right, a.k.a. Jane Lane, Helen Morgendorffer, and Quinn Morgendorffer) turns 37. Here is Ms. Hoopes as Jane, here she is as Quinn, and here as Helen. Thank you, Ms. Hoopes! You rOoL!!!

Fifteen years ago today, Daria appeared in the Beavis and Butt-head episode, "The Trial." Wonder if it was based on the Kafka novel. Hmmm, apparently not. (Click, copy, save, say no more.) That's Daria laughing in court at something Butt-head said, by the way. The prosecuting attorney is not amused. So this ninth-grader likes courtroom kibitzing? Daria was a heck of a kid, wasn't she? (The interesting images from the episode are displayed here.)

Kristen Bealer has raised the terrifying specter of a Midwest Dariacon 2010! Read and reply!

MDetector5's most excellent Fashion Club art is all the rage on PPMB's art channel. And Pinhead's "small jokes" just keep on rockin'!

Amusing photographs that could be of Quinn's Fashion Police have appeared at PPMB.

JPAGC has started a new Iron Chef based on a single screen capture from "I Loathe a Parade." See what you can do with it.

I was reminded of a great car-lovers' webpage that our own D. T. Dey helped create. It is the best!

PPMB

• Falling into College 71: Merging Goals, by Richard Lobinske (Part 1): "So, since you know him better, are you going to call Mr. Morgendorffer?" "I suppose I should." "What, his wife wouldn't appreciate him getting a call from a stripper?"
• Finn Morgendorffer 11: Man of Honor, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): “Finn, you know you aren’t supposed to drink champagne. Alcohol isn’t for the under 21's. Put the glass down,” Helen instructed. “Finn, you don’t have to put it down as long as you’re staying here,” Rita returned. “Rita, Finn’s my son, not yours.” Helen’s eyes narrowed as she regarded her sister. “And I’m sure that makes you proud,” Rita replied.
• In Silence Sarcastic, by Trscroggs (Part 2): “My name is Daria Morgendorffer,” the sheet began. Before Jodie could read the next line Daria held her whiteboard up. “Daria Sunbeam Morgendorffer,” the board said.

• Invisible Love, by Charliefox2012 (Part 7): “Um, is Jane home?” Duncan asked tentatively. Trent only stared at Duncan impassively. After a moment, he sighed. “Yeah. She’s home,” he said and moved back from the doorway to let Duncan in. (FF.net)
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Brains for Rent), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE?): Daria sat on her bed and tried to read, but the stifling heat of the room distracted her and ruined her concentration. With a frustrated growl she tossed the book onto the nightstand and walked across the room to open a window. She had already stripped down to cut-off sweat pants and her sports bra, and only the thought of having someone walk in on her prevented her from trying to read in the nude.
  

Helen's Favorite Holiday?

According to some strange websites I've visited, today is Love Litigating Lawyers Day. I am sure Helen Morgendorffer would agree it is high time lawyers got the lovin' they deserve, though it will have to be scheduled around the afternoon teleconference call to Newark.

Eight years ago today, the daily installment of one online comic strip, The New Adventures of Bobbin, had a cute legal tweak to it.

Just 112 years ago today, Thomas Edison patented a new invention: the movie projector (which eventually gave us Daria). Now, there was a good Tom!

At Fortress CINCGREEN, Roentgen discusses TV shows he's loved, including Daria, with a focus on trope-busting. Did Daria really break the mold, though? Who were the influential nerd girls before her? Was Daria still just "Hollywood ugly"? Yeah, we've argued all that before. Good times.

In the PPMB thread "(Yet more) Daria academic commentary," Operculum offers certain inflammatory comments about Daria made by an academic in a research article. Read the thread and post your thoughts!

The PPMB debate over "What Would Jane Do?" still rages on.

FF.net

• D Is for Daria, by Fringeperson (Parts 4 and 5 and 6): “Ooh, the next one's addressed to me!” Jane said, holding the letter high above her head. Daria smirked. “Careful that it's not a bomb. Want me to read it, and then you'll respond?”
• Pigskin Caduceus, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 6): Wednesday with Quinn was all business, although, honestly, I expected it to be. We dealt with bio, although Quinn did ask me a couple of questions about Mr. DiMartino’s history class. I wasn’t as helpful in that subject.

PPMB

• Farewell, My Cornholio, by Peapotmaster (Part 2): At lunchtime, Daria ate a cheeseburger that she got from Burger World yesterday, because she didn’t want to eat what the lunch ladies had cooked up. She looked at one of the lunch ladies serving bad macaroni and cheese, with a cigarette still in her mouth. This made Daria sick to her stomach.
  
• Reaped Out 2: Sickle Sad World, by Pinkminx (Part 3): "How can she be so drunk? You told me that Reapers didn't feel the effects of drugs or alcohol." Daria panted and released Georgia's dead weight as they reached the car.
• The Runaway, by Aloysius (Part 3): “Melody,” he said again. “Talk to me, please.” The girl turned to look at him. Her expression was a mixture of anger and fear and her eyes glistened. “What do you want me to say?” she asked uncertainly.
  

"Why, someone ought to sue!" And then... someone did.

Remember the good old days of the Internet, when everyone got involved in flame wars and you could say anything about anyone and no one could do anything about it?

Those days are over.

If you operate a blog, log into chat rooms, post in message boards, or send e-mail, you are strongly advised to read this news item about a legal case in New York in which a blogger (using Blogger.com, by the way, the same megasite this blog is on) insulted a fashion model, and the judge ordered Google to turn over the blogger's IP address and e-mail address to the model's attorney, who plans to sue the blogger for defamation.

When you finish that, see some of these other views on the issue: ZDNET, CBS, Guardian. This is big. Think about this. Very, very carefully. People have been insulting each other on the Internet for well over a decade.

And now the gateway to hell has been opened. The lawyers are coming out.

What do you think will happen next, now that a legal precedent has been established for defamation on the 'net? I think I missed my calling, that's what. Internet law. I could have been a billionaire by now. Good thing I made up my mind early on to be nice here.

Will this have any effect on Daria fandom? That depends. Do you engage in flame wars on any Daria-related message board? This might be a good time to call it quits and keep disagreements to private mail and e-mail, or just ignore everyone you think is an idiot.

Wishing you the best in court,
TAG


P.S.I was only kidding about the connection between lawyers and hell. You do understand that, right? It was meant to be humorous and not real or an insult or anything. I like lawyers. Some of my best friends were eaten by lawyers.

As the French would say, Je ne sais quoi

Famed TV French chef Julia Child was born on this day, as was Napoleon Bonaparte, making this a very French sort of day in history. Helen Morgendorffer and Janet Barch will assist with the alter egos. Also on the French theme for the day, it is National Acadian Day in Canada, there is a French movie called 15 August (15 Août), and Nobel Prize-winner French guy Louis de Broglie was also born this day (though many years ago). If you are writing a Daria fanfic that makes use of quantum mechanics, throw in de Broglie's name and the story will sound super extra cool. Trust me on this. De Broglie invented the science of wave mechanics, which I won't pretend to understand, but his name is really all you need for your story especially if the story makes use of (get ready for this) Schrödinger's cat (handy illustration here).

The reason this has to do with Daria because in "College Bored" we learn that Daria wants to go to college in Paris.

As the French Chef would say, c'est la fin des haricots ("How the heck am I going to make chili now?").

N00Z: JPAGC has a PPMB question about the quantum existence or nonexistence of certain moms in Daria, if anyone can help him out.

Several characters at Backgrounders have been extensively updated: Tananda, Bib Overalls, V-neck, and Tank Top. Story ideas, anyone? Toss out a few in Comments. More characters to come this weekend.

PPMB

• Once More, With Sitting, by Richard Lobinske (Part 2): "I'll throw it in my car," Daria said. "That should hide the evidence." "You think of everything," Tad said.
  
• Two Halves, by Dark Kuno (Part 3): Daria sat at the head of her bed and read through the poetic endeavors committed to the paper within. Alex sat Indian-style in the center of the bed and perused a notebook of his own. The only sounds in the room were the turning of pages, synthesized gunfire and the occasional grunt-splat that marked another undead dispatched as Jane played Cannibal Fragfest on her friend’s computer.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria Kills Jane, or Vice Versa...), by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE! plus extended story by others!): BANG!
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: Hump Day), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Class, we have a new STUDENT! Daria Morgendorffer, please raise your hand."
• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Brains for Rent), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): Quinn Morgendorffer was shoved to the warehouse floor and cried out in pain from the impact. She cowered as the six men gathered around her. “Where’d you find her?” one man asked. “She was with some idiot who came to buy dope,” another man said.

Lasagna AGAIN?

It's that time of year when the management of the DFB2 (i.e., me) solicits suggestions from its readers (i.e., you) as to what more can be done with this blog. I know it is ephemeral as are all things, but it is a lot of fun and I would like to keep typing in it for a long time to come.

What else do we need that would help the fandom grow? Other than DVDaria, I mean. What else can this blog do for your Daria enjoyment? Drop some notes in Comments. I've gotten a lot of good ideas in the past and have used them. I just want to keep up with things.

Just checked the meter, and we've got over 86,800 hits so far in a year and a half. Cool. Keep it up.

Oh, and MDetector5 put up some great Helen art!

Plus, the 2009 Daria fanfic list was updated!

The Day Before Mothers Day

First question: on which image of Madonna was this alter ego of Helen Morgendorffer based?

Second question: to be announced when I think of it.

FF.net

• The Quiet Ones, by Smileyfax (Parts 4 and 5): Jane walked into her house and dropped her bookbag at the side of the door. As she walked upstairs to her room, she resolved to call Daria, as she wasn't in school that day. All had apparently been forgiven for Daria's fouling of the dye job and Jane's paranoia, but Jane wanted to make sure Daria was okay nonetheless. "Huh," she said aloud upon entering her room. The shades were drawn and the lights were off. She reached out to flick on the switch. "Don't turn on the lights, Jane." [Contains mature content. Hang on.]
  

PPMB

• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Angst Lord Time Trials), by Angelinhel (COMPLETE!): She curled up next to her best friend, for once feeling safe and comfortable.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Aware of Changes), by Scissors MacGillicutty (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer awoke from uneasy dreams to the sound of her sister's voice. "DA—RI—A!" Quinn's cry came from just outside her door. "You better get washed and ready if we're going to make the Fashion Club meeting this morning!" [LATE ADD: The story is actually continued here. It is just amazing. You must read it.]
  

L8 MORNING ADDS:
I was too lazy and tired to look it up on my own, but yes, it does indeed appear to be Madonna from her 1990 music video "Vogue," another extremely specific pop-culture reference from the MTV animation staff. The relevant image is here, the video is here, and the background on the video is here. This video is apparently widely beloved by critics (said to be be one of the best music videos of all time) and was directed by David Fincher, whose movie credits are eye-popping and include The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. One heck of an alter ego reference.

Oh, almost forgot, there's a Pizza Thread at PPMB now, thanks to Brother Grimace the Great. Check it out.

Easter Eggs Once Again

A little Easter fun for everyone, from the Sick Sad Life Planner CD.
More evidence that the Morgendorffers are some flavor of Christian, not Jewish, etc.

For the audio, click here. Did Daria and Quinn search for Easter eggs in Lawndale?
They're kind of old for that, aren't they? Figures Jake was behind it.

Helen Morgendorffer's boobs - because we're all dogs...

Nothing more need be said.

Well, one more thing. Why does Helen seem surprised? She was a teen hottie during the Summer of Love - and with those bad boys attracting attention, of course she knew that any male who isn't gay or Timothy O'Neill would lose thirty I.Q. points the moment she walks into the room, right? I'm reminded of that episode of the ABC comedy Spin City when the Mayor was dating Marla Maples Trump. As she leaves from a talk with Michael J. Fox, Carter (MJF's co-worker who is gay) openly ogles the woman and comments (after MJP says that a woman who looks as MMT does hanging out with the Mayor is trouble) that, yeah, if HE'S looking at her, they they're all in trouble!

A running gag on the show is how, even with whatever problems the Parents Morgendorffer have, in the bedroom, they have a five-alarm sex life. More to the point, though, they still love one another very much - even if they may not like one another from time to time.

It's a reasonably honest and healthy relationship - even with that Bastard Eric sniffing around Helen every time he gets a chance. (Just once - I'd have liked to have seen Jake punch that bastard out, or at least just walk up to him with a world-shattering glare that clearly says, "Touch my wife, and I'll kick your ass so hard that the donkey that Mary rode on will bray in pain." (Obligatory Easter reference, BG-style, there.)

Still waiting for that essay on TAG on the Holy Grail of Daria lore - Helen's bra size. Personally, I'm going with 36C. I'm also thinking that there's a reason why, in "The Daria Hunter," Helen and Brittany both wore fatigues. (Well, besides the whole 'Jim's Paintballing Jungle' thing.) Can you imagine the mental distress our resident teenage nymphet with plus-sized breasts would have to endure if she and Helen were to be in the same area and wearing skimpy shirts?

More later. Say - when's S.C. going to do that artwork of Helen in her sheer pink nightie and house robe? You know the one I'm talking about...

Helen Morgendorffer's "Breifcase"

In keeping with yesterday's theme of me not having enough time to post anything, we present Helen Morgendorffer's "breifcase" (spelled as it appeared on an old MTV Daria website).

Deep. Really deep. For a briefcase, I mean.

That's about all I have time for now, more to come, I swear it, just as soon as, um, you know, as soon as I can. Keep it real, yo, what up and peace out, my home g-dawgs.

A Very Special Mother-Daughter Moment

Had to give one this its own blog post.

PPMB

• John Lane 39: Leaving Summer, by Richard Lobinske (Part 3): "Mom got a little carried away in reminiscing about the past and… I don't think I can ever look at a banana split the same way again."

Look! Bikinis!

This is an image of a bikini kiosk in a mall, probably the Lawndale Mall, taken from an old version of MTV's Daria website. It is here to show that I have not forgotten the thing about Helen's boobs, but Real Life is dictating different issues at the moment. Plus, I wasn't able to post earlier today and thought the bikini kiosk, beloved of Upchuck, would bring the forgiveness of the readers.

If not, tough.

More this weekend.

Mammaristics, Ho! (almost)

Real life keeps getting in the way of having fun lately, but here are a couple of images of Helen Morgendorffer to keep you in suspense before we take our amazing journey into the science of mammaristics (measuring the sizes of cartoon boobs).

More later when real life sorts itself out. Maybe someone else can post something here, hint hint.