Buzz Off!

Jane has the right idea for Buzzards Day, but comparing them to Claude and Romonica seems unfair to buzzards. At least buzzards don't make their prey feel insecure before they move in for the kill.

Today is also the Ides of March, so beware! The Ides might be planning to do something mean again.

Fandom News!

• Wouter posted a Top of the Pops video.

Toga Party!

It's the Ides of March and Daria's dressed for the occasion! I'm not sure if she's planning to be a stabber, a stabbee, or just sit back and watch the fun, but for now I'll just leave you all with Kevin's wise words on the subject:

Mr. O'Neill: All right, why did the soothsayer tell Caesar to "Beware of the Ides of March?" Who wants to "take a stab"? Kevin?

Kevin: Um, because the Ides were gonna do something mean to him?

Mr. O'Neill: The Ides aren't people; they're a time of the month.

Kevin: Eww, gross! Well, there's your answer.

Fortunately, that thought fits right in with today's other holiday, Everything You Think is Wrong Day. This day is truer for some (cough, Kevin) than others, but I'd try not to make any major decisions today just in case.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the most brutal moments in Nickelodeon toons.


• In your opinion, who from Daria should've had a spinoff?


• Talk about the college bribery scandal.


• Share your thoughts on Pelosi's comments about impeachment.


• Come up with Simpsons, King of the Hill, Beavis and Butt-Head, and Daria crossover fanfic ideas.


• Do you have a fanfiction account? Share it in the thread.


• If you were a Lawndale student, would you be friends with any of the characters?


• TheBrodsterBoy posted a new Iron Chef: Daria the Fuhrer.


• Learn more about the multiple mosque shootings in Christchurch, New Zealand.

Et Tu, Police?

I'm sure Upchuck would like to remind everyone that today is International Day Against Police Brutality, but I think too many female residents of Lawndale have been at the receiving end of his...ahem...charm to care. Jane, on the other hand, will be on hand with a camera to record police brutality against Mystik Spiral. If it ever actually occurs, anyway.

Today is also the Ides of March, which Roman emperors should beware and high school language arts teachers should avoid asking Kevin about.

Finally, it was on this day in 1998 that Michelle Klein-Hass posted her essay From Now On, Please Keep It Real! Whether you agree with the point or not, it's an interesting perspective of the show from back when it was still originally airing.

Fandom News!

• Szcz is looking for sites related to the history of U. S. fashion.


• Read and discuss the article about the Christian retreat from public life.


• What are your thoughts on the upcoming Ghost In The Shell live action movie?


• Wouter is asking for some help.

Beware the Ides of March!

Background character "The Head" appears here in a rare alter ego because someone needs to wash away all that blood from Julius Caesar's stabbing. That's right, today is the Ides of March, the day the Ides decided to do something mean because it was that time of the month.

Okay, thank you for that report, Kevin. Mr. O'Neill would like to speak with you after class.

Fanfic Update!

• Alienation, by malakite (part 12): "At the door she could see the not-woman being glared at by the gigantic bouncer. It was saying something, trying to get in. The thing appeared at the door and shook its head. The bouncer made a 'get lost' motion at the not-woman. Were they in league? The thing offering up victims? Daria stared as she tried to think past her anger."


• Birthday Blues, by SentrytheDefiant (COMPLETE!): "He lightly scratched his bare chest as he watched the time change from 11:59 PM to 12:00 AM. He was officially twenty-eight years old."


• Chips Off the Older Block, by Indigo (part 1): "Matt Morgendorffer smiled to himself as he drove away. He knew the girls would look out for each other and hopefully the more social Quinn would help her sister navigate the murky waters of High School a little better this time around."


• Credence, by Astrocar82 (part 8): "'Jake, where's Daria? How is she?' Helen cried in a panic as she rushed into the sickeningly white waiting room where her husband and younger daughter were already seated by the window, both looking scared."


• Dominick Morgendorffer, by macross (part 10): "4:34 PM, Jane adjusted the strap of her battered old messenger bag around her shoulder as she walked through the front door of the old Library, the bag had seen better days that was obvious to anyone with eyes."


• Halloween High, by SentrytheDefiant (COMPLETE!): "The large, fluffy white angel wings only added insult to injury. Daria Morgendorffer stared at the white layered chiffon dress with annoyance."


• Happy (Iron Chef:The Grim Plot Reaper), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Daria Morgendorffer had rejected many clichés in her life, and the latest was the 'five stages of grief.' She went through no distinct stages, nor did she feel grief. For that, you needed something to grieve about, and there simply wasn't anything."


• Is It Kevin's On Time Graduation Yet? (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'It still seems freaking impossible.' Daria complained as Kevin got his diploma, which would be added to the pile of athletic awards he had gotten earlier."


• Leeville Blues (Iron Chef:The Grim Plot Reaper), by Shiva (part 1): "The Morgendorffer's were crammed into Jake's Lexus as it sped it's merry way in the state of Virginia towards hell. Oh sorry, I mean they were going to a family wedding."


• Missed Opportunities, by SentrytheDefiant (COMPLETE!): "The picture windows on the far right were connected to a sliding glass door that led out to the balcony. Most of the guests were mingling inside but there were a few people standing out there. She was out there."


• Mysteries of Lawndale 02: The First Party, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "'Speaking of which... Brittany invited me to her party.' 'No kidding? Are you going?' 'Of course, how could I pass up an opportunity to learn more about our peers and so come closer to solving the mysteries that seem to define this suburb?'"


• A New Kid's Dance Party While a Tree Grows (IC: Mix them up. DariaXDaria Crossover!), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "While Jake was panicking about property values, Quinn was having a crisis of her own. Sandi was attempting to sabotage the Dance Committee meeting by making silly suggestions... 'I think we should decorate the gym like the inside of the Concorde.'"


• Out of Fashion, by Kristen Bealer (parts 3 and 4): "'Wow!' she exclaimed as she reached the next booth. It was full of clothes. Not the kind of stuff Stacy was used to seeing at Junior Five or Cashman's, though. These clothes were brightly colored, with unusual designs and crazy patterns." (Part 4)


• Quinn's Code 10: Blue Screen of Sherman, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "'You're kidding, right? You think I'm going to talk to you?' Sherman said in reply. He looked at Jane. 'You, maybe. Like, four hours into a kegger.' He looked at Jennifer. 'Similarly.' 'Perhaps after I vomit on your shoes,' Jane said. 'No way!' Jennifer said, forcing herself to be audible."


• TGATG: How To Change A Life, by ognawk (parts 5 and 6): "Adam was about to respond, when a sign near the checkout caught his eye. Superball Lottery Tonight! Jackpot $100 Million! If You're Not In, You Can't Win!" (Part 6)


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Since Mommy and Daddy won't pay for beautiful, perky breasts for their sweet little girl. I'll just have to do it my lonesome-self.'"


• Vote Sloane, by Charles RB (part 1): "'Now I understand your frustration, I really do, I know I've made your job harder,' said Tom, 'but what you have to understand is that it was causing me physical pain to not tell that guy he sucked.'"


• The Window, by metameric1 (parts 1 - 3): "Her time in college had come to an end. After a long deliberation, she had decided to postpone her Doctorate, and spend a few years in the real world." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• The Writer, the Girl With Red Lipstick, and the Musician, by lulamae-golightly (parts 1 - 3): "A young woman hugged her arms closer to her body as a wind passed by, blowing her hair into her face. She stared up at the tall building that she knew now as her apartment building." (Part 2) (Part 3)

Either Way, Someone's Having a Bad Day

Today is the International Day Against Police Brutality, so Upchuck should really be careful about those sexist remarks. Today also happens to be the Ides of March, so Upchuck may want to be careful about knife-wielding guys in togas as well.

Fandom News!

• What's your opinion of the new pope? Share your thoughts in the thread.


• The AV Club reviewed "Daria!" the Musical. Read about it in both threads!


• MartinUK invites everyone to share their perfectly legal free MP3 downloads.


• Share your ideas on lines that you should avoid using in any story.


• punkrocktoy is looking for recommendations of long stories.


• Three new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: Jeremy Garrett's Right This Minute, Brother Grimace's First VIDEO Iron Chef - 'Seven'!, and Ms. Kinnikufan's In-universe Mary -Sue/ Self-Insert fanfiction.

"They're gonna kill him." "Let's not get our hopes up."

Today is International Day Against Police Brutality. One could argue that Upchuck had it coming, but it's still a little painful to watch that scene. Unless you're Ms. Barch, I suppose.

Today is also the Ides of March, and if only Caesar had thought to beware of them, perhaps he'd still be alive today.

Except he wouldn't be, because he'd be over 2,000 years old. Trick question, yeah!

Fandom News!

• Talk about First World Problems in a new thread.


• BF110C4 is looking for help with Daria's timeline.


• Whom would you consider a strong male character in Daria?


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: ThanatosRW's Think of the children and Smijey's RE: RE: FWD: Crappy Email Forwards.

Beware Toga-Wearing Guys with Knives!

Or, as it's more commonly quoted, beware the Ides of March! That's today, and if you see anyone in a toga who looks kind of shifty, you might want to move along. I figure that's pretty good advice any day, though.

For those who don't know, the warning was supposedly given to Julius Caesar because he would be stabbed to death on that day. Kevin has another theory, however:

Mr. O'Neill: All right, why did the soothsayer tell Caesar to "Beware of the Ides of March?" Who wants to "take a stab"? Kevin?

Kevin: Um, because the Ides were gonna do something mean to him?

Mr. O'Neill: The Ides aren't people; they're a time of the month.

Kevin: Eww, gross! Well, there's your answer.

So watch your back and check out the latest fanfic!

• Behind the Iron Curtain, by Temppeli (parts 1 and 2): "Dull roads, tenements in the strict line. Gazondolvsk was just as similar as any regular Soviet town. The main difference is that it takes place near Moscow. Jakov Morgendorkov drove his brand new Volga, and tenements passed on the background. It was pretty warm day, and Jakov smiled to her daughters." (Part 2)


• Bound to Highland, by RLobinske (parts 8 and 9): "Mamma Parker was a surprisingly spry woman in her sixties with silver hair pulled into a bun on top of her head and covered with a hair net. Looking over Daria in her pale blue uniform, Mamma said, 'I'm going to run you through your first shift. I want to know if you can cut it and if you can't, you'll be gone come morning and I'm the only person that does the firing around here.' Well aware of how much she needed the job and equally aware of the extra base pay for taking the graveyard shift, Daria said, 'Yes, ma'am.'" (Part 9)


• The Crucible - Chapter 1, by Raskolnikov (COMPLETE!): "While she was trying the fix her haircut, which several hours in the bed have managed to wreck completely, the lightbulbs flickered. What is that sound? A subtle creaking could be heard from Daria's room. The creaking's pitch and the flickering increased for a few seconds, until the sound turned into a loud thump and the very obvious proof that something made of wood had cracked upon the impact. Oh, God! Daria!" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10)


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "(The door is carefully opened as stun grenades are thrown inside. Before the Titan’s can react, they detonate in a flash of sound and light, the concussion sending everyone to the floor.) Kim Probable: (stepping into the room) Impossible or improbable? Daria: You ... waited ... for ... someone ... to say ... 'impossible' ... before ... you attacked ... didn't you?"


• Double Negative (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, son!' said Dad, offering a high five that was grudgingly reciprocated, 'How was school?' 'I got another A,' said George as he brandished his latest high graded paper. 'Miss Morgendorffer said my essay blew everyone else's out of the water.' 'Really?' said Mom in a slow drawl, 'That's the fourth one you've got this year.'"


• Dreams, by Chris Tucker: "Eventually, the cleaning and washing was done. The unspoken prospiracy this time was between Jane and Connie. Asking Daria to sit on one of the beds and fold laundry, to occupy her mind with a simple mundane task, kept her from dwelling on the nightmare and hospital trip. She needed time to process the events and come to some closure about them, without getting obsessed with what happened."


• Esteamsters or What if the entire cast of Daria were steampipes? (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'Ssssssssssss,' Jake said."


• The Girl In Question, by Silver (part 1): "Things started with a bang. No, that would be understating things somewhat. It was a massive, crushing blast that sent the visiting Lawndale school bus rolling, its students screaming. A blast that shattered windows for miles, razed most of downtown Fairport, and left a glowing mushroom-shaped cloud rising into the sky."


• God Save The Esteem ep24: Write in the Nads, by Charles RB (part 1): "A new era had dawned on Lawndale High. The metal detectors lay dormant, the CCTV drooped down, the security guards were sunbathing at the checkpoint and drinking beer. 'Hey Steve,' said a kid in a large trenchcoat that could conceal anything. 'Hey.' 'Hey Steve,' said Burnout, smoking a massive joint. 'Hey.' 'Hey Steve,' said Daria, carrying a large gun. 'Hey.'"


• How Can There Be Any Sin in Sincere? (Writeoff Challenge 8), by ticknart (COMPLETE!): "'Mack,' she sighed, then, 'Michael, I've been working on this. There are laws that can protect you.' 'Protect me how?' he asked. 'Keep me from getting a job? Keep me from paying for my daughters' school? Keep me from feeding them? Whistleblower laws are a joke, and you know it.'"


• Is It 'Mania Yet? (PPMB-exclusive Bonus Match), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "Defoe: 'I will say this about Diana. Outside of the ring, she is one of the nicest, sweetest people you could meet. In it... she is an absolute monster.' O'Neill: 'Here comes the Latino Lion, Miguel Martinez trying to take on Brayshaw... she caught him! How is she doing this, Claire?' Defoe: 'I don't know, Timothy. I just don't know.'"


• Know When to Fold 'Em (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Tiffany, sitting across from him, wore a baseball cap reading 'D & G' (for Dolce and Gabbana) in contrast to Cashmaker's PokerParadise.com hat. She also wore a pair of Gucci sunglasses, and one of her tailored blue dresses. She pulled out her compact and applied her lipstick. 'Lipstick ain't going to help you,' Cashmaker said loudly. The cards on the table were Q-J-8-9. Cashmaker had a queen and a three in the deal and the other queen came in on the flop and Cashmaker raised to $250,000 on the nine that came off the turn. There was only one card left - 'the River' - and unless The Sphinx had a ten, Cashmaker was on his way to another championship."


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie (Chapter 3), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "'Don't worry, we have a plan to distract her,' Daria said, trying to be reassuring. 'Quinn thought it up,' Jane said. That wasn't reassuring to Brittany. 'Eep!'"


• LLH Alternate Future - 07 - The Future We Choose/Anticipate This, by psychotol (part 5): "Wanda used her powers to lift the car off the road. She had to make this look like a departure from controlled motion, but there was one yankee to protect, this was also the reason for the charade in the first place, to stop Kerry from threatening harm to the hostage. Wanda didn’t want Kerry to be aware of the presence of herself and Tiffany until at least she had decided to ditch the hostage. The car spun off the road, rolling across the ditch, through the hedge and landing right side up in the field, with both left wheels broken off."


• Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 5: Shop Til You Drop, by Hyrin (parts 1 and 2): "Jane started to worry, knowing how Daria's temper could flare up, but Daria surprised her by standing up calmly and saying quietly, 'You want to see us in bikinis, Charles?' 'Only to help my father, of course,' he replied with a broader grin, which faded slightly as Daria started to unzip her jacket slowly." (Part 2)


• No Armour Bar Her Coat (Writeoff Challenge 8), by Charles RB (part 3): "School was... different. Most everyone she feared was leaving her alone – a few of them would start on her when they were bored, she knew she was fodder for insults, but the unceasing torment ceased for a few months. Quinn, she understood, had had words with people, and the Fashion Club backed her. After those few months, the tormenting slowly increased, people changing their luck. Quinn and others would stamp on it every so often, causing more lulls, but Daria grew to expect being targeted when she was on her own. But she could handle it. It was less than it was. It was normal."


• Oblivious Iron Mediocrity (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Wraith (COMPLETE!): "She's called the Dead Gal because they killed her a few hundred years ago. Strictly speaking, she's neither dead nor a gal. She's a Loghyr, and something as simple as physical death isn't enough to get rid of their snarky, stubborn spirits. Their bodies go through the motions, thankfully minus the corruption, at least not so as we poor humans could notice. But their spirit hangs around their corpse, and a little thing like rigor mortis doesn't seem to affect their telekinesis."


• Prize Fatters (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey: "'Oh, tart-tongued temptress,' Upchuck lamented at Daria's rejection of his idea to mutually assist one another in the Wizard scholarship competition. 'If you help me,' he cajoled. '...I might afford you an opportunity to invest in my dot-com company.' 'You've started a dot-com?' Daria was doubtful. 'A modest exotic candies vent--' 'CANDY?' Daria shouted."


• Quinn's Code - 02: Invite of the Geek, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "'Brittany will be focused on the party. She won't notice two people whom she didn't invite,' Andrea said. 'How do you know that?' Quinn asked, she knew that Brittany and Andrea didn't hang out. 'We were friends in Elementary School,' Andrea said, with some bitterness; 'two rough and tumble tomboys having fun.'"


• Reunion, by Hyrin (parts 1 and 2): "'How are you doing, dad?' she asked, looking around the living room. Aside from a few technology upgrades –the new plasma screen TV hung where the old entertainment center had been- it looked just like it had at her last visit. 'Oh, I'm hanging in there. Don't worry, Daria, I'm sticking around until you give me a couple of grandkids,' he chuckled. Daria inhaled sharply, suppressing a frown as she reminded herself that her father's memory was consistently shoddy these days." (Part 2)


• Shadows of a Timeless Song, by Dennis (part 7): "The liquid beauty of Maglor's music seemed to freeze Hermione. Stock still she stood with her jaw on her breast as the elf's shadow fell on her, and it was not until the gentle light emanating from his skin touched her that she gave voice to her confusion. 'You're not possible,' she whispered. 'Was it not your Shakespeare,' he said with a gentle smile, 'who wrote, "There are more things in heaven and earth than are dreamt of in your philosophy." And this is no winter's tale, Hermione of the Yeomanry.'"


• Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Have you ever felt that you're turning into... (tipsy Jane and Alison in Alison's hut - when a shadowy figure bangs on the door, moaning) ...a zombie? Maybe you're not alone."


• Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Jim North (COPMLETE!): "'Hello, Charles. I want to play a game.'"


• Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Ranger Thorne: "Voice #1 (vo): Where were you when the Cylons attacked?"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "'We are totally screwed, you know that don't you?' Daria asked as she turned to look at Jane. 'Why do you say that?' Jane replied as the countdown passed five seconds. 'Just because we're sitting on top of three quarters of a million pounds of rocket fuel in a contraption with two million moving parts built by the lowest bidder?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Damn The Torpedoes!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Trent came bursting out of Casa Lane as Daria and Jane were coming up the walk. His eyes were wild, hair neatly combed and numerous piercings removed. He looked like a Banana Republic had thrown up on him and someone had shaved his soulpatch. 'They got me, Janey!' He seized his sister's arms, panicked, and gave her a shake. 'The Preppies got me!'"

Beware...

Back in Roman times, today was the Ideas of March, the mid-month. We know of this date thanks entirely to Shakespeare's play, Julius Caesar. The Ides of March reappears in Daria fanfiction as a person, thanks to the existence of Holiday Island ("Depth Takes a Holiday"). The Ides is not a "holiday" in the usual sense, and it is certainly not regarded as a nice day as a result of what happened to Caesar exactly 2,053 years ago. The physical appearance of the Holiday Island character known as the Ides of March was based upon a cross between 1950s spree killer Charles Starkweather (at left) and 1963 presidential assassin Lee Harvey Oswald, more the former than the latter. Fanfic authors, use him as you wish.

Today is also World Contact Day in ufology circles and among those who believe in Men in Black. The date originated 57 years ago with a conspiracy theorist, and the concept eventually grew in the telling (particularly in a 1967 essay anthology) until rock groups like Klaatu and the Carpenters (!) were singing the official song of World Contact Day. If you want to know more, follow the Wikipedia link and sub-links, but be warned you are heading out on a very bizarre Internet trip.

Roentgen has once again opened a can(on) of worms in his opening post of what promises to be an interesting PPMB thread on the usefulness of canon in Daria fandom. Enjoy.

Sick, Sad World has updated again! Yay!

PPMB

• Apocalyptic Daria: Timeline, by Doggieboy (Part 1): Before I begin this timeline, let me introduce myself. I am the Chronicler, and my job is to tell you of the events that mark this particular corner of the world I watch. To hear my wife tell it, my job must actually be to sit at the pub and throw back a pint or two of stout whilst telling ribald tales and eating a plate of fish and chips. She is wrong, although I cannot deny that I do enjoy such pleasures.
• Falling into College 72: Valley of Love and Delight, by RLobinske (Part 14): "Have another drink, Daria," Jane said. Daria shook her head. "You can have a hangover in the morning, I'm going to pass. Besides, I want to have the blackmail material after tonight, not be the blackmail material." "You're no fun."
  
• Zero G, by SigDiff (Part 4): “Daria, we've apparently got a rat infestation.” ”I'm not sure I want to know how you found that out.” “Well, what are we going to do about it?” ”Nothing. But if we lose another system to a rat, I'll suit up and vent the whole damn ship.”

Not a Good Day If Your Name Is Caesar

Today is the Ides of March, and on Holiday Island the character named for this date is still in juvenile lockup after the events in this fanfic.

More later when I figure out what I'm doing. Meanwhile, here is a picture of Jane Lane smelling her armpit.

THIS JUST IN: Daria is now leader of the Legion of Lawndale Heroes. Upchuck is deputy leader. More to come after the rioting settles down.

BREAKING NEWS: Two big website updates on the Ides of March!

Outpost Daria has added great new stuff, and Sick, Sad World is back in business, too!!!

YEEEE-HAAAAW!!!!

New Fanfiction

• FBCB, by Wraith (Part 3): The great saga continues as the Fashion Club meets its greatest challenge yet! Here's a sample: "Look, I can't give you anything until you fill out requisition form 29B/1919." "But that thing is twelve pages long!" "In triplicate too. Press hard."
• Locker Trouble, by im thinking changing myname (?) (COMPLETE!): A little slash before bedtime.
  
• Quinn Angel, by Lawndale Lurker (continued): Helen looked up as Daria reentered the kitchen. She'd been making notes on a legal pad, Daria saw, and violently scratching out some of them. The level of liquid in the Southern Comfort bottle was lower, too.
• Turnabout Confusion, Part II: All The King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): Andrea cracked a fishnetted knuckle. "What do you think?" Ted considered carefully for a moment. "I think that Scarlett's ideas are unsound, and I don't think I wish to be a party to them." "Unsound," Andrea chuckled. "You could say that. You could also say crazy."