She Probably Should Have Beat Ms. Li Senseless with the Trophy Instead

Daria's all set to wow everyone with one of her awesome pep talks in honor of World Speech Day, but we all know that "pep" isn't actually her strong suit. Still, as long as she recommends eating pizza I think everyone can get behind her words of wisdom.

Let's just hope Kevin and Brittany don't get it into their heads to make a public statement, because that would really put the "dumb" in Dumbstruck Day. At the very least, the audience would be left completely bemused.

Artie, meanwhile, will probably be speaking loud and long about aliens, but that's okay because it's World Contact Day and it's appropriate to talk about aliens...in moderation. Today is not to be confused with a holiday about contact lenses, which Daria would far rather forget about.

Phoooooone Hoooooooome!

Someone should tell Tiffany that cosplaying as E.T. does make her look fat, but this is the only way she can think of to celebrate World Contact Day. I think that if any aliens did meet Tiffany as their first contact on Earth, they'd probably leave immediately.

Speaking of Tiffany, today is also both Dumbstruck Day and Everything You Think is Wrong Day, which both apply to her. In fairness, though, in order for everything you think to be wrong you'd have to actually, you know, think.

Fanfic Update!

• lawndales elite, by rvgonzal (part 1): "Interior house- front room- Couch cushions are overturned, books/ papers are scattered all over the floor. Camera pans to different areas of the house and it looks like a tornado has hit all the rooms with each room messier than the last."


• The Plague Of Daria (The Plague Of Daria), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "A red Mustang GT pulled into the Ruttheimer's driveway and came to a stop. Once the car was shut off Stacy Ruttheimer, nee Rowe, emerged from the driver's side while Daria Morgendorffer emerged from the passenger side."

Beware...

Back in Roman times, today was the Ideas of March, the mid-month. We know of this date thanks entirely to Shakespeare's play, Julius Caesar. The Ides of March reappears in Daria fanfiction as a person, thanks to the existence of Holiday Island ("Depth Takes a Holiday"). The Ides is not a "holiday" in the usual sense, and it is certainly not regarded as a nice day as a result of what happened to Caesar exactly 2,053 years ago. The physical appearance of the Holiday Island character known as the Ides of March was based upon a cross between 1950s spree killer Charles Starkweather (at left) and 1963 presidential assassin Lee Harvey Oswald, more the former than the latter. Fanfic authors, use him as you wish.

Today is also World Contact Day in ufology circles and among those who believe in Men in Black. The date originated 57 years ago with a conspiracy theorist, and the concept eventually grew in the telling (particularly in a 1967 essay anthology) until rock groups like Klaatu and the Carpenters (!) were singing the official song of World Contact Day. If you want to know more, follow the Wikipedia link and sub-links, but be warned you are heading out on a very bizarre Internet trip.

Roentgen has once again opened a can(on) of worms in his opening post of what promises to be an interesting PPMB thread on the usefulness of canon in Daria fandom. Enjoy.

Sick, Sad World has updated again! Yay!

PPMB

• Apocalyptic Daria: Timeline, by Doggieboy (Part 1): Before I begin this timeline, let me introduce myself. I am the Chronicler, and my job is to tell you of the events that mark this particular corner of the world I watch. To hear my wife tell it, my job must actually be to sit at the pub and throw back a pint or two of stout whilst telling ribald tales and eating a plate of fish and chips. She is wrong, although I cannot deny that I do enjoy such pleasures.
• Falling into College 72: Valley of Love and Delight, by RLobinske (Part 14): "Have another drink, Daria," Jane said. Daria shook her head. "You can have a hangover in the morning, I'm going to pass. Besides, I want to have the blackmail material after tonight, not be the blackmail material." "You're no fun."
  
• Zero G, by SigDiff (Part 4): “Daria, we've apparently got a rat infestation.” ”I'm not sure I want to know how you found that out.” “Well, what are we going to do about it?” ”Nothing. But if we lose another system to a rat, I'll suit up and vent the whole damn ship.”