Can You Repeal the Laws of Gravity?

A mere 367 years ago, Sir Isaac Newton was born, he who figured out why apples hit you on the head, and Daria's Sick, Sad Life Planner chose to commemorate the event (see at right) with an announcement from historian Brittany Taylor about a little-known discovery with which Sir Isaac is rarely credited. You heard it first here.

After reading through Richard Lobinske's listing for 2009 Daria Visual Fanworks, I have picked out my personal favorites and named them on PPMB. Five artists produced so much superior work, it became impossible to pick anything they did. This group of masters includes: Jim North, MDetector5, Minx, Pinhead, and Vlora. I bow to you all and offer my humble thanks. You make this fandom shine.

A bow to Quiverwing, who achieved Cosmic Epic Win by fixing up more DariaWiki pages than anyone else from the last week of December until now. She is engaged in an immense project to classify all Daria fanfiction by year. Other DariaWiki fan-atics worthy of honor include Disco316, Boandpop, Nighthawk, Brother Grimace, Gouka Ryuu, Kem, RLobinske, Jim North, JPAGC, and Doggieboy. Thank you all!

DariaWiki pages of recent note:

• Dead Daria Fandom Arguments (YES! Excellent!)
• Williamstown University
• Requiem
• A Taste of Hell
• Don't Sweat the Mall Stuff
• Civil War
• Canon Fodder
• Diane Fossey Award
• Home Schooled
• Cassandra (from Highland)
• Amelia (from "Camp Fear")

"Does red, white, and blue make me look fat?"

In addition to being New Year's Day, this is also the 258th birthday anniversary of colonial-era seamstress Betsy Ross, often credited (at least in legend) with sewing the first official United States flag (seen at right).

A short but intriguing essay on the origins of January 1st as New Year's Day appears here on Wikipedia. Hard to believe there were so many other days in the past when the new year started.

Richard "The Great" Lobinske has completed the annual compilation of Daria Visual Fanworks, all the great art at which we marvel through the year. An epic achievement, three years in a row! Thank you, Richard, and a big THANK YOU to the artists!

The 2009 Daria Fanfiction listing has also been completed. A banner year for great storytelling, let me tell you. The Booties will be hard-fought this year.

My Heart Will Go On... Until Death, Anyway

Twelve years ago today, the epic movie Titanic was released in the USA. This led directly to the penning of the Daria episode "Just Add Water," which shares many plot elements with the movie, except for being shorter. Brittany, upon being informed of the event in her history class, had this response.

Queen Jossie wrote the fanfic "Y 2 Day?" ten years ago today. Remember all that Y2K crap? Jeepers. Did get some good fanfiction out of it, though. In addition to the above, the following have moderate-to-high Y2K-ness. Anyone recall any others?

• Daria's Christmas Folly, by Crazy Nutso
• Daylight: Falling from Grace, by Disco316
• DWU#13: Erin the Head, by Kara Wild (song at the end)
• Falling into College #9: Holiday Breaks, by Richard Lobinske
• The Submariner Series, by Wildgoose
• Why 2K? by Kemical Reaxion

OUTRAGEOUSLY GOOD NEWZ!

• One-time Daria fan artist Katie Cook is big time now! John Takis informs us that she is now drawing Fraggle Rock comics, and she has also been drawing collectible cards for Marvel, DC, and Star Wars! Check it out! Katie Cook's Daria fan art from the year 2000 survives on the web. We can say we knew her way back when she was awesome, before she became mega-awesome. And, in keeping with today's Titanic theme, here is Ms. Cook's Daria from the movie.

Quiverwing reminds us that there are only TWENTY (20) days left in which to nominate your favorite works for the 2009 Daria Fanworks Awards! Read the rules!

FF.net

• Secret Smile, by SinisterDragula (COMPLETE!): The front door slammed, followed by grunts of disgust. “God! Why did Jamie have to be such a jerk?”

PPMB

• NEW! Ah, Good Memories, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Tell me why we're paying good money that we could be spending on bad pizza to see another faculty roller hockey game, Lane." [Cosmic Epic Win.]
• Another Normal Day in Lawndale, by JPAGC (Part 3): Quinn quickly spotted her sister with two of the usual companions: She remembered Brooke, the tall, brunette girl, but couldn't place a name on the blonde girl with a pink shirt also hanging with her. A junior? A freshmen? No matter, she thought, just another of the mindless fashion zombies my sister likes to so much.
• Anti-Trope, by Minx (continued): “No, a million times, no.” Dean shook his head. “There is no way in hell I am going to play football.”
• Crazy for Fashion, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Let's look at the spectacle, Daria." "No." "Aw, come on. I'll give you a dollar."

• Daria: Hunter—Mind over Plasma, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Artie." The man's head snapped up so quickly that it looked like it might tear straight off his skinny neck and fly across the room. "What? Yes? I'm Artie!" "Your abilities," said the bounty hunter. "Just how far do they reach?" (FF.net)
• Daria: Hunter—Rememory, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): Another day filled with strangeness had passed, and Daria had made it out the other end alive. She told herself that that was the important thing. She was alive. Jane was alive. Their temporary ward Artie the psychic pizza cook was alive. The only person who hadn't survived the events of the day was the man who had attacked them, and good riddance. (FF.net)
  
• NEW! The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): "A number of patient specific tests will have to be run before a complete diagnosis can be ventured. But one thing has already become clear. Evidence of psychotronic interference and embedding is faint but clear. In short, patient has been a subject of involuntary mind control experimentation." [and more added here!]
  
• NEW! Finn Morgendorffer 21: Jane Errs, HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): “Oh, come on,” Jane continued to tease. “It’s not like I haven’t seen you in your boxers before.” And that was enough. Daria pushed open the door into her brother’s room. “What the hell is going on?!” she shouted with righteous fury.

• Hallway, by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "Morgendorffer! Lane! What do you two punks think you’re doing?” yelled the always angry Ms. Barch.
• NEW! In Search of the Path, by Trscroggs (Part 1): Drawing on all the experience she had gained while trapped in this twisted world of sorcery, the Seeker yelled in her most authoritative voice: “Freeze! Hands in where I can see them! Turn around slowly and I won’t have to shoot. Oh my God! It can’t be!” The small woman who had been stealing the Seeker’s loot stared in surprise. “Brittany Taylor? What the hell are you doing here?” Daria Morgendorffer asked.
• NEW! In Silence Sarcastic, by Trscroggs (continued): My sister, the dating guru, Daria signed. But I do not need to speak to the dating guru; I need to talk to the fashion guru instead.
  
• Love Is a Series of Burning Sensations, by Undefinedlust (Part 14): Okay, so I really couldn't get everything Daria was saying, so I called Christina for help and we talked till midnight. Then I got really high and tried to go to bed. But I just couldn't sleep, I just kept thinking of her in that box... just thinking about her... What the hell made me think it was a good idea to go for a walk... a walk past her house... looking to see if her light was on... Geez Jane, act like a stalker much?
• NEW! Monster Madness, by Trscroggs (continued): “Pilot Candidate Sterling has apparently decided not to read his briefing, sir. He called Pilot Morgendorffer a ‘know-nothing civilian brat’, sir.”
  
• One Night..., by Charliefox2012 (COMPLETE!): [revised version of original at FF.net]: I lie here, naked, but covered by a thin sheet, in a bed that is not my own.
• Quinn: The Show, by Ajar (Part 3): "So, um, what do you think about wrap skirts this season?" "First parachute pants and now this. Is there no end to Hammer's insanity?"
• A Reaper in the Wind, by Richard Lobinske (Parts 1 and 2): Tom closed his book and set it on the table next to the chair before rising. Only a moment after the visitor had knocked on the door, Tom opened it. "Good morning." A man in a black suit presented Tom with a sealed folder and said, "Special Agent Sloane. Your next assignment." [Daria/NCIS]
• NEW! Second Life, by Legendeld (Part 2): "I don't know why you keep putting up with Daria's crap, Jane. I know tons of models who would love to date you." Quinn took off her light coat and hung it on the stair railing. "Tell me what she did!"
  

• Slumber Party, by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "My God, Li," cried Ms. Barch from outside in the tree. "Are you getting all of this?" "You betcha your fat ass I am," replied Li with her camcorder.
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part III), by jtranser (continued): High above Toronto, Stacy flew into the tomato sunrise. Below her, a hundred miles down, wreathed in light transparent smog, the brown and wrinkled surface of Earth bid her a silent forlorn goodbye as she engaged her drives and headed for the center of the galaxy.
• A Very Saturnalia Holiday, by Vlora (COMPLETE!): "What if you don’t celebrate Christmas?" Daria asked, her eyes set on Mr. O’Neill’s face. "Then pick any holiday you like!" "May I go first?" [At last! Thank you, Vlora!]

"Is that thing radioactive?" "Isotope so!"

Today is the 142nd anniversary of the birth of Marie Curie, who studied radioactivity but wasn't as careful with her samples as she should have been. DON'T TRY TO FIND OUT IF RADIATION HAS A TASTE! DON'T CARRY RADIOACTIVE ITEMS IN YOUR POCKETS! That should do it. (Thanks to the almighty Pinhead for the image.)

Albert Camus would be 96 today had he not died in order to avoid seeing himself mentioned in "Quinn the Brain":

Quinn: By the way, do you know what existential means? Because today someone told me my writing was existential, so I thought I should coordinate, you know, with wardrobe.
Daria: Yeah, that's what Camus would have done. For your purposes, existential means "pseudo-intellectual poser with accessories from the street fair."

Camus was also mentioned in a Daria essay by Guy Wheatley. Good show.

Engineers celebrate this day for its value in teaching us about bridge building (as in, how not to). Love that video!

And you should know that this is an important date in a fanfic in which Jake Morgendorffer and Amy Barksdale conduct a torrid secret sexual affair that causes Daria to have brain damage. So, Amy likes his "fortitude," is that it? Yeah, right.

ART GNUZ

• In almost no time at all, Jim North produced a superb rendering of Albino Quinn from "In Silence Sarcastic." Click to the pic and tell him he is an awesome dude.
• NEW! Pinhead's "Strange Dream." 'Nuff said!
  

PPMB

• Anti-Trope, by Pinkminx (Part 6): “Self-esteem is important because..." Mr. O’Neill read the first question tentatively and glanced up at Dean. “It's a quality that will stand us in good stead the rest of our lives.” Dean replied in perfect monotone. (FF.net)
• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy (Part 14): Within fifteen minutes of starting their walk, Scarlett and Roger lost sight of the church or anyplace remotely familiar. The teen stopped briefly, looked back, then turned around and walked on ahead. (SFMB)
  
• Chances, by Coonassblondie (Parts 3 and 4): “So Jesse gave you his jacket, huh? Guess he’s pretty serious,” Trent said as he turned toward his sister as they sat at a traffic light, smiling softly at her. “To tell the truth, Trent, I don’t really know. I don’t know that much about him. Until tonight, I wasn’t aware he could form coherent sentences.” Trent only laughed in response, ending in his hacking cough. “Guess you learn something new every day, huh?”
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 12: Carnivore, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): “You owe me big for waking me up at 9 AM.” Jane’s eyes were bleary and tired looking. “You get up earlier to go to school.” Daria reminded. “The keyword for that is school.” Jane returned. “And the keyword in your earlier speech is AM. It’s a sin to wake a Lane before lunch.”
• In Silence Sarcastic, by Trscroggs (continued): Wednesday afternoon, three days after the Morgendorffer move was official, Quinn gingerly stepped out onto her back porch. While she would never admit it, Quinn was silently glad that the bulk of the house blocked light from the descending sun. Regardless, her prescription sunglasses were firmly in place as she looked out over the back yard. Standing in the middle of the yard Daria swung a bokken through a complicated weapon kata. Coming to a stop, Daria looked over at her sister.
• Iron Chef: Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by Project Pegasus (continued): "You're going home to visit your demon family for the holidays, aren't you?" "Maybe." "Let me go too! It'll be fun!" "No! I'm going alone. It'll literally be Hell enough going down there by myself." [Thanksgiving comes....]
  
• Regifted, by Ajar (Part 22): “Calm down, Stacy,” Quinn said. “We're almost to the bathroom. No one will even know that we're going to see that blemish.” “Blemish?” Stacy was confused. “What blemish?” “You know, the thing we're seeing in the bathroom.” “Ohh... that blemish.”
• NEW! Unnamed story (S-crap-s), by Raskolnikov (COMPLETE!): —Daria? What are you doing in my dream? —Excuse me? What are you doing in MY dream?
  

Halloween Week Is Here

Daria and some animated acquaintances (one hesitates to call them friends) appeared 12 years ago today in Fortune Magazine. Must have been a great dinner. Daria of course is reading at the table. Butt-head is eating smoking a cigar and drinking wine. Or grape juice. Whatever.

Richard has started off the Halloween free-for-all. I'm sure the Harry Potter and Charmed fandoms think they have a choke hold on Halloween fan-anything, but THEY CAN SIT ON THEIR WANDS. Uh huh, that's right, I went there. You heard me. Daria rules.

We'll start with a reminder of Daria's humble beginnings, as the straight girl to Beavis and Butt-head's insanity. (Click on B&B's picture at upper right and it will magically enlarge. Huh huh huh huh huh...) Beavis and Butt-head put the "weenie" in Halloween. I don't know what I meant by that, but I'm sure that you, the fans, do.


We should list some fanfiction that is appropriate to read this week. There's a great pumpkinload of it, so we will start now. Crazy Nutso had a lot of great Halloween fanfic. Thanks to Kara Wild for hosting these tales on Contrarian's Corner.

• All Misery Chicks Go To Hell
• Plan 9 from Lawndale
• Daria: The Hunter
• No More Ms Nice Vampire

Brother Grimace posted a great bit of haunted "faanfiction" (fanfic about fans and fandom), also on CC:

• Daria Author Tombstones

And Mr. Anonymous had a Halloween story of his own:

• Party Favors

Mike Xeno's “Community Disservice” wasn't for Halloween, but it took place in October, so we'll allow it in. We'll also allow in B&B in The Wizard of Oz (zy), because there's a witch and a winged monkey in it.

This is a start. Hope you enjoy the fun.

ArT n0oOZ

• Jim North is back, with a marvelous display of Daria art!
• Pinkminx has a beautiful portrait of Sandi Griffin, up close and personal.
• Pinhead's "small jokes" continue to amaze the fandom. I love it here!
  

Think Free!

Today is Columbus Day, which was once a big deal but is not so much anymore. The Vikings got here first, anyway.

Closer to Daria's interests, it is also Freethought Day, which for some reason strikes me as a very Daria-ish holiday. It was good enough for the founding fathers.

Moar l8r. Okay, l8r now.

NEW! Roentgen has discovered that Pepsi discovered that there are only 24 types of women! Yes! Isn't science great? How would you rate the women of Daria in the Pepsi-approved manner?

Pinhead is producing one of the most entertaining pictorial threads in ages. For your daily dose of artistic Daria humor, marvelously rendered, go to Small Joke. It's the best!

Speaking of art, Richard Lobinske has once again updated the 2009 Daria Visual Fanworks Listing. Thank you! Some great stuff is out this year, you gotta love it.

NEW! Kara Wild (the Great) has discovered that Daria is doing very well in a Television Without Pity Cartoon Survival Game! Excellent. Care to sign up and join in?

NEW! A reminder here that the Television Without Pity website has what is probably the second- or third-most active Daria message forum online ("Daria: You're Standing on My Neck"). I've added it to the Recommended Links at left. Go forth and read! (See the most recent messages here.)

Almost up to 120,000 hits! Yahoo!

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 7: History on Skates, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): Man, that was quite a night! Finn thought to himself. Joey’s mother was out of town, so he had invited all the guys over to watch the game. Of course, a boy’s night with no parents around meant football, wings, and all the whiskey Finn could drink. (FF.net)
  
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part III), by jtranser (continued): In a place that's not a place, but a macrodimension of irrationality with an atmosphere. And where the geometry is all wrong, too: When looked at one way, all a human eye can behold is a sea of tormented, writhing pseudopods rippling in a dank, ultraviolet chemical breeze....
• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): Tom's bedroom door opened, and he looked up from his novel with annoyed expression. His witty, caustic comment died on his lips as his jaw sagged open and his eyes widened.
  

Turning Over a New Leif?

Today is Leif Erikson Day, celebrating the first landing of Europeans on North American shores (meaning Newfoundland) just over 1,000 years ago. Leif was a Viking's Viking. Alternate histories sometimes toy with the question of what might have happened if the Vikings had managed to expand their colonies in the New World. It's anyone's guess there. Maybe we'd have the mighty Upchuck of the North or something.

The last known supernova in the Milky Way Galaxy appeared in the sky 405 years ago today. Closer to our own time, Entertainment Weekly named Daria Morgendorffer one of its "cartoon divas" 11 years ago. Daria gained her new status at the same time as did Tinkerbell, Veronica from the Archie comics, and... um... Foghorn Leghorn? WTF?

MTV Animation, which produced Daria and so many other wonders, closed its doors for good eight years ago today. The collage at upper right shows the major MTV cartoons 0f 1996, just before Daria appeared. Rest in peace, MTV Animation, and thank you.

GNUZ ALERT! Quiverwing has just posted the rules for the 2009 Daria Fanworks Awards on PPMB. Read over them now and start picking out your favorites!

PPMB

• NEW! The Curse of El Smoocho, by Roentgen (Part 4): Quinn stormed over to the door. "Daria, why do you want to ruin my life?" she yelled. "I'm sorry for lacing my boots in the unapproved 'under' method. With the help of God and family, I can change—"
  
• Detective Stories 4: Fledge, by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): Stacy leaned on her cane and, in an effort to distract herself from the constant itching of her right leg, peered over Daria’s shoulder at the computer screen. “What are you working on?”
• Finn Morgendorffer 6: Beautiful, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 3): “I’m fat,” Finn finally moaned. Unlike his normal complaining, Finn now sounded like he was two steps away from crying. “Fat?” Daria thought. She had many choice words to cut her brother down to size. Some curse words, some normal ones, and some Finn would have never heard of. But “fat” was not an insult she reserved for him.
• NEW! Meowlody Powers, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): The busy crowd and layout of store displays made Meowlody's job difficult as she patrolled the area. Zhreow would come in close, because, like Meowlody, she believed in the personal touch. That would be Meowlody's only chance to stop the assassination, even at the risk of being detected and forever losing her ability to be an agent. (FF.net)
  

Burning Down the House

Nine years ago today, one of the best episodes in the Daria series was aired for the first time: "Fire!" (At right, Quinn tries to find something fashionable to wear before she escapes the blaze, complaining to Sandi about it all the while.) "Fire!" was the first element in a three-part arc of closely related stories about the development of the relationship between Daria and Tom Sloane. The best webpage on this episode (IMHO) is on DariaWiki, which contains many links to commentary on the episode and some interesting trivia bits. More episode pages should be like this one.

It seems to me that "Fire!" is one of those points from which quite interesting "what if" worlds could be created.

• What if Tom Sloane showed no interest at all in Daria, being faithful to Jane to the end? This would require some modification of "I Loathe a Parade," of course, but it's interesting.
• What if the fire in the Morgendorffers' home had spread and become worse, leading to serious injuries or fatalities, or the complete loss of the home?
• What if Tom and Daria were run over by the floats while... oh, right, not so much angst. Sorry.
• You get the idea. Last chance to turn away from disaster in the next episode. Also, there was that stalker Bobbie, Sandi's interesting interest in dumping bodies, Stacy in a bikini and cowboy hat, etc.
• What if Trent was a superhero whose superpower was ethereal transference? I don't know either, but it sounds interesting.
  

NEWZ PHLASH! The announcement of Daria's 2010 release on DVD has gotten around. The following are some interesting news items about this. It's worth giving them a look because some have whistles and bells with them, like pictures and even short animated segments. Enjoy.

• Daria Headed to DVD in 2010 (Animation World Network)
• Role Models: The Return of Daria (SignOn SanDiego)
• La La La La La: Daria's Coming to DVD! (Paste Magazine)
• A High Schooler Has Hard Times on MTV's New Show [brief mention of Daria in article about a VERY weird planned show, OMG] (BuzzSugar)
• Excuse Me? Daria Finally Coming to DVD (TV Squad) [see also these posts]
• Daria - 'Coming to DVD'? Yes (TVShowsOnDVD)

Stay tuned!

XTRA GNUZ! Richard Lobinske has updated the list of 2009 Daria Visual Fanworks! Hooray!

And now for the fanfiction. Jeepers, people sure write enough of it around here.

PPMB

• Iron Chef: Daria Is Raven's Apprentice, by Project Pegasus & company (continued): [The rudeness never ends. ]
• Daria the Hoosier, by Doggieboy (Part 4.5): She saw a cardboard box just under the bed near a small table with a lamp and a clock radio. Seeing an analog clock on a radio blew her mind, though she did see a digital clock radio in the kitchen earlier. Apparently, they’re still new on the market, she thought.
• Legion of Lawndale Heroes Gold Team 1:5: Fish or Fry, by Roentgen (continued): It was Lance that suggested that the five of them go to see what Thomas "had been working on" as a diversion. This involved the five of them getting in the Maybach and driving out to God Knows Where in El Paso. "What about Daria?" said Tom. "I'm sure she'll be fine. We'll be coming back!" Villacana acted to reassure Tom. "Oh Pope, not even of age you're already shackled to the old ball-and-chain! Let's have a "'boy's day out!'"

Odds, Ends, and More Odds

A bit of ancient Daria art from an ancient Daria website (MTV's). This was the header for the section where you could ask questions of the voice actors for the characters, and they would answer them. A few of the responses are still online in various places. Hysterical! My favorite is Helen and Jake being asked if they are going to have any more kids.

Lawndale Online has been updated! See this link for what's new.

Lots of new and wonderful ART is on PPMB. We have stuff by Wouter, two items by MDetector5, two items by Pinkminx, and modifications by DariaPhantom. YESSSS!!!!

Okay, I've been late on fanfiction updates. Here they are. Great stuff as always!

FF.net

• Bromwell Bound: That One Fateful Summer, by HolyGrail2007 (Parts 2, 3, and 4): “Daria!” I was genuinely surprised to see her here. Without Trent or Jane, these venues held little enough appeal for her, and Jane was nowhere in sight. I immediately broke contact with Karen and moved towards her. “It looks like your doing well.” Daria responded in her cynical monotone. “You’ve got lipstick on your face.” (Part 3) (Part 4)
• Commitment Issues, by Fringeperson (Part 7): Jane whistled in appreciation when Daria stepped out of her closet wearing the dress. Trent sure knew how to pick ‘em, and he was absolutely right. She was glad her guess had been right about the size too. If they’d gotten it wrong, that would have been embarrassing, particularly since they’d set it up so that it came from Mrs M, rather than from them.
• Daria, Poem Unlimited, by Project Pegasus (Part 4): Fishing a pair of tarnished coins from my jacket pocket, I handed them to the cashier. She accepted them mechanically and rang up my change while behind her another worker, long accustomed to the give and take of the routine, began to fill my order. They performed their duties with a quiet diligence almost as though they were temple priestesses, vestal virgins, absorbed in their daily rites and rituals. Or rather was there a vacant, perfunctory air to their actions?
• Eggs Need Salt, by Alpacca Joe, a.k.a. thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Daria smirked appreciatively as Jodie walked away, hips swinging to some inner beat. Just before she disappeared into a classroom she glanced back, caught Daria's rapt gaze and smiled seductively. Then she was gone, and Daria could finally breathe. (PPMB)
  

PPMB

• Cold Comfort, by Doggieboy (Part 12): Inside the shed, Daria turned on the radio and listened carefully to the talk. Suddenly, a voice directed at her said, “Daria Morgendorffer, this is the Kentucky State Police, please respond, over.” (SFMB)
  
• Daria Demo, by Ajar (COMPLETE!): “We've been experimenting with something here,” said the man to the assembled. “I'd like you to meet a girl named Daria. My assistant Jane, on the screen here, will introduce us.”
  
• Daria: Dream Cynical, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Bespectacled chick, stuck in Lawndale / Idiots and jocks – I so want to bail / Found a best friend - by name of Jane Lane / Her brother Trent (sighs) there goes that pain!"
• Daria Goes to the Customs Office, by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): Daria Morgendorffer walked up to the information desk of Philadelphia International Airport and waited for the short-haired blonde clerk to get off the telephone. Quinn owes me big time for this one, she thought and glanced at a nearby wall clock. Three-ten. Crap. Looks like I’ll have to call Jane and cancel our pizza dinner.
• Daria the Hoosier, or When in the World Am I? by Doggieboy (Part 3): Jim finally handed Daria her quarter back and drove on. After several seconds, he started laughing. She watched him as he laughed and finally said, “I don’t know what you’re laughing at.”
• Daylight: Falling from Grace: I Should Have Been Home Yesterday, by Disco316 (Part 11): As the sun set in the west, Quinn finally returned to the stable. However, the Quinn that entered the stable was not exactly the Quinn that Stacy recognized. This Quinn was covered in dirt and gasping for air.
  
• John Lane 41: Friends and Rediscovery, by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!): While Skip prattled about his camp memories from a cabin porch, Daria ignored her lunch and watched Amelia, who was leaning against a tree, gazing at the nearby lake. Daria said, "I screwed up, didn't I?" (FF.net)
  
• Love Is a Series of Burning Sensations, by Undefinedlust (Part 10, continued): Whoever said April is the cruelest month never had this start to November, Daria thought as she tossed her book bag aside and threw herself onto her bed. It's been almost two weeks since Tom and I broke up, and Jane and I seem to be farther apart than ever. I get not wanting to do anything last weekend since Trent was coming home, but we just aren't spending much time together at all anymore.
• Misplaced Trust, by Kangaballs (Part 1): "How do you really know that she went this way, Daria? She could have gone anywhere in time, and now that our time machine is broken how are we supposed to follow her? I swear, Daria, if I spend the rest of my life in petticoats and corsets I'm going to kill you for it."
• On the 2 Train, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): Daria glanced up at the illuminated map on the wall of the train. She sighed. What was it about the 2 train? Every stop seemed to take an hour, even when they were only a few blocks apart. (FF.net)
• The Really Lost Girls, by Echopapa (Part 1): Daria and Jane were sitting at a table at the Zon, halfway through a couple of Ultra-Colas and a bowl of pretzels. “The Flying Scotsmen” had just finished their set and was taking a break. “The bagpipes were okay, I guess,” Daria said, “but did the bassist really have to try juggling that claymore?”
• Regifted, by Ajar (Part 9): “Okay, so the line is, 'But never put on pantaloons or bodices.' Thanks to a certain fund-raising measure at my previous school, I know that a bodice is a sort of an everyday peasant girdle. I think it represents chastity because the previous line has the 'bustle' pun and also represents normalcy because the line is referring to the abnormal 'filthy loves of gods and goddesses.' Does that sound good?”
  
• Things Fall Apart, by Doggieboy (Part 16): Beavis found that flying came as natural to him as watching videos in the living room he shared with Butt-Head. After a brief moment of sadness, he looked over at Rose McCord, the Ringbearer who escorted him through the skies over Highland. He smiled as he looked directly at her chest. “Beavis, why are you staring at my breasts?” the strawberry-blonde-haired woman asked him.
  
• A Timely Discovery, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): “Ok, Jane,” said Daria, “the first thing we need to do is figure out where and when we are.” Just moments ago, both Daria and Jane had been in a laboratory inside Raft University, watching Professor Werner Von Werner demonstrate his new time travel ray. Professor Von Werner had tossed them the baseball that he had just sent forwards 10 seconds to land in his hands, but Daria’s poor attempt at catching the ball sent it flying into the machine, hitting buttons, turning it towards the two girls, and sending them here, wherever and whenever it was.
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Where in Time is Daria Morgendorffer?), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Well, August, Jane...it is time to open the letter." The young man, just eighteen years old, was shaking. He looked for a butter knife to open the letter, then, giving up, tore the side from the closed envelope and pulled the paper from the enclosure.
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Betting on Delusions (COMPLETE!): Jane Lane ducked behind the charred shell of a Chryslus Motors Highwayman and quickly reloaded her scoped .44 Magnum. She kissed the top of the gun and did a fancy finger-spin before glancing over at her only friend. "What? I don't like the judgment I see in your eyes. Besides, you're probably just jealous because you lack the necessary anatomy to perform such a neat trick," Jane said quietly.
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Daria awoke on a nondescript platform. She stood up and looked around. Before her was a brick wall. Seeing the wall, she ran straight towards it at top speed. She collided with the wall, bounced off, and fell to the ground on her back.
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by DrNoGood09 (COMPLETE!): "Who controls the Fan Fic crown? Who works the system up & down? We do, We do."
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): Jane was busy putting the last touches on her latest masterpiece when Daria walked into her room. "Say Jane," Daria said with a cheeky smile on her face, "You wanna nibble on my fish taco?"
• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Have: TGIF), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): The curtain came up to show Daria sitting in front of a piano. She quickly starts to play then begins to sing a moment later. "Istanbul was Constantinople / Now it's Istanbul, not Constantinople / Been a long time gone, Constantinople / Now it's Turkish delight on a moonlit night..."
  

March Madness (in Fanfiction)

March Madness is upon us, and while Louisville kicks everyone's behind we will look over the new fanfics that have appeared in just the last 24 hours. I can't even get my own stories restarted because I'm typing here all evening long trying to catch up. Jeez, people, c'mon. But first, some Newz.

LET'S PLAY A GAME! Derek has suggested a fresh new take on the Daria Fandom Drinking Game. Click the link and get ready to play! At least add more rules. (SFMB version)

JennaUsername has created a very interesting portrait entitled, "If Tim Burton Created Daria." Darned if she didn't nail it.

In our art department, we also have assorted Fashion Club sketches by MDetector5. Inspiring, I'd say.

The Daria Fan Club now has 1,204 members. Outrageous.

João Paulo Costa, Richard Lobinske, Brother Grimace, Disco316, Doggieboy, Dennis, and Ajar have been hard at work on DariaWiki, raising the number of pages to 2,274 with lots of new material. Thank you! Anyone else with information to add is welcome to join in.

Brother Grimace has thrown down the iron gauntlet for an Iron Chef: Mack Mackenzie Has His Day. This one is too good to resist, but requires thought.

NEW! Roentgen has introduced Iron Chef: No Tom. How would the series have ended if Tom Sloane had not appeared? Add your $.02.


FF.net

• Harry Butthead, by Deep Metal (Part 3): NEW! “How did you manage to survive so long with a bunch of blood-sucking undead who could’ve taken your life?” asked Daria. “Oh, that,” Mr. Manners chuckled, revealing a wreath of garlic hung around his neck. “Well, it’s simple, you see. I brought protection.” “Huh huh huh! He brought protection!” “Heh heh heh heh heh!”
  
• Omega Omega, by Smileyfax (Part 3): "I overreacted," Daria greeted. Her voice was hoarse and her eyes were puffy. "I couldn't accept that you weren't... my Jane. I'm sorry."

PPMB

• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy (Part 7): As Scarlett and John walked outside the storage units to the one he used as his own motel, she looked up at the skies. Looks like snow, she thought and shuddered. (SFMB)
• Lambda, by SigDiff (Parts 1 to 5): NEW! Corporal Alan Watts was having a very bad day. It began just after sunrise when a fellow Resistance member burst through the door of his barracks and yelled; “WE'VE BEEN COMPROMISED, EVAC NOW!” As if to prove the speaker was not playing a practical joke, the outburst was punctuated with the wall beside his bed caving in from a guided missile. (FF.net)
• Lawndale's Finest: The Dark Knight, by NightGoblyn (continued): Jane sighed quietly to herself and tried not to roll her eyes. For once, she was putting some effort into making the school psychologist happy. She actually had a vested interest in not getting stuck in the self-esteem class again.
• More Apocalyptic Daria, by NightGoblyn (continued): The next morning is completely uneventful, which just goes to show that the universe is out to get me and I never get what I want. I spend the time looking for my niece and nephew, they’re old enough now to start learning the finer points of meeting and greeting all the bizarre people that show up at our gate without offending them or getting themselves shot. [NOTE: Story formerly known as "Fimbul," which was formerly known as "More Apocalyptic Daria."]
• On the Clock, by Legendeld (Part 2): NEW! It’s been two weeks and everything has been going exactly how Daria wants it too. Between catching some of the bad guys and registering some of the rogue heroes, we’ve been busy. I almost walked when I found out about that but she swears that only we have access to the records now. One of the powers that the authorities handed over to us. Personally I don’t believe it for a second.
  
• Quinn Angel, by Lawndale Lurker (COMPLETE!): “Quinn, you are looking at six counts of assault, three against police, not to mention destruction of private property and possibly inciting a riot. You could be incarcerated until you reach legal adulthood, and it could cost your father and me a huge amount of money in fines, damages, and court costs. We could lose the house. And woe be unto you if that happens." AND THEN: “Can you hear me? Quinn Angel...” sang the three Js. “Ooo...” went Quinn.
  
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part II), by jtranser (continued): "All right, by now all of you should be thoroughly acquainted with thermodynamics and Milton's Paradise Lost. O.K., if heaven's light and hell is not, explain why no work can be got out of the devil. Show your understanding of entropy. You have two hours."
• Things Fall Apart, by Doggieboy (Part 3): “Dammit, Beavis!” Butt-Head said as the two walked down the street. The blond-haired boy carried the TV set in his hands and their progress was slow. “You aren’t moving fast enough, fartknocker!” Then the zombies showed up.
  
• Turnabout Confusion, Part II: All the King's Horses, by Dennis (continued): Morning found the Morgendorffer sisters sitting across from each other at the kitchen table. Had Helen been there, she would have said they both looked emotionally drained. Had Jake been there, he would have been shoveling cereal into his face while reading the paper. As it was, both sat in silence for awhile, before Daria spoke. "You okay?" (continued here) (FF.net)
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mack Mackenzie Has His Day), by Brandon League (COMPLETE!): NEW! Mayor Jodie Landon-Grimace smiled benevolently out at the crowd, some 250 strong, that had gathered in the parking lot of the home offices of Bro And QB Ice Cream.
  
• Unnamed story, by Roentgen (Part 1): A crossover, and an intriguing one. Can you guess what the secret added ingredient is?

SFMB

• Apocalyptic Daria: Brave New World, by Doggieboy (Part 7): Catching up with the other editions of this story.