Telstar Tales

A very curious and historic day this is, indeed. Just 48 years ago today, a satellite was launched into Earth orbit from Florida. Its name was Telstar. It was not only the first communications satellite to transmit live television and high-speed data (telephone calls and faxes) across the Atlantic, it also the first privately sponsored space launch.

It created a great stir, uniting in one stroke the people of North America and Europe through their TV sets. Telstar I became the forerunner of a great family of communications spacecraft still used today. (We're up to Telstar 18.)

So, up went Telstar, and then... people went a little crazy. You have to understand how amazing Telstar was to the world of 1962. It was SO amazing, a mad blizzard of completely unrelated things were all named Telstar in honor of the original one, because everyone thought it was such a cool thing. This naming trend has continued to this very day. Things are STILL being named Telstar because of that one long-ago satellite.

Did you know that Telstar revolutionized soccer? (That's football to everyone but the USA.) This happened when Adidas came out with a soccer ball painted to look like the satellite. It is now the standard soccer ball the world over. No kidding.

And there's more. Telstar also happens to be the name of...

• a very popular instrumental song that I remember from my childhood (listen to it here)
• a brand of soccer shoes
• a soccer team from the Netherlands
• a make of Ford cars
• a high school in Maine
• a family of Coleco videogame systems (one example)
• a character (a.k.a. Satellite) in the Final Fantasy VI videogame
• a 2009 movie
• a book of science-fiction stories
• a blog
• a hotel in Italy
• a brand of computer tower cases (detailed images)
• a brand of automobile tire rims in New Zealand
• a type of electronic part
• a brand of telescope
• and what looks like jewelry that lights up, I think... maybe
  

I wonder if anyone has named a child Telstar. (Oh, the horror.) The original Telstar satellite was destroyed by radiation from hydrogen bombs set off in outer space, which sounds like I am making that up, but I am not. Burned the satellite's power right out. Very sad. It's still up there, the original Telstar, still orbiting the Earth even in electronic death. Not likely it will ever be forgotten, at least not by anyone who plays soccer.

Today is also the 154th birthday anniversary of super-genius Nikola Tesla, whose name sounds like Telstar but is unrelated. Tesla is mentioned in only three Daria fanfics. A pity. Telstar has never been mentioned at all. (The above was corrected, thanks to readers more alert than I am.)

Time for something completely different. Or not.

NeuZ!

• C.E. Forman displays his most fantastic treasures: original Daria collectibles! My brain can barely process all the win!
• Fan Chris Tucker asks, "Did you ever notice...?"
• NEW! Fun reading: "Daria: A Love Letter From A Former Teen Nerd," from Jezebel.com.
  

PPMB

• Daria/Dorian, by LadieT (continued): As school ended, Jodie and Mack approached Dorian. Dorian was staring at the tiny slip of paper from Mrs. Bennett's class. Jodie shook her head as she pointed at the Dorian's hand. "Congratulations on getting the one project that none of us wanted." Jodie smirked. "Gee thanks. Good luck with your projects. Mack, twenty bucks says Kevin actually ends up buying a car." Dorian replied. "I would say you're on but we are talking about Kevin." (FF.net)
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 52: With Extra Bitters, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 5): “Look, I didn’t want to snap at you. I’m just not used to having other people criticize my writing. Or other people for that matter. Ask my first boyfriend what happened when I showed him a story I wrote. And, well...I read yours. The one you said wasn’t any good because you divided your time like you did. Well...I liked it. It was good, better than mine.” Daria admitted, and every word was painful. “So what’s the problem with that? Course mine’s gonna be better, I’d been writing these things my whole life, and I’m older than you. It’s as obvious as don’t run with scissors or don’t put your dangly bits in the mouth of an alligator.” “I wrote my whole life too!” Daria returned, ignoring his randomness. “That was me, every day I wrote. And I watched my writing get better and better, and the off-chance that I shared it with someone, they loved it. Not that my English teacher would ever say something that could damage my poor self-esteem, but it was enjoyed, and thought to be great.” “So I come along and ruin everything by, what, being good at the same thing? Jeez, ego trip much?”
  
• First Born, by RLobinske (Part 4): Seated at the dining table while Derek prepared breakfast, Karen said, "Jane Lane. What are you doing up so early?" Hair as rumpled as her t-shirt and shorts, Jane said, "Having to get to school at 7:30 has made me a morning person, dammit." "But not a very cheerful one," Karen said. "You can bet your sweet ass I'm not cheerful about it. Coffee?"
• NEW! Full Metal Pragmatist, by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): "OK, this might hurt a bit..." came Trent's voice as it roused her from her nostalgia. "Don't sugar coat it for the girl, boy," grumped Bernice Lane-Rockbell from her place near the girl's lower body. "OK, it will hurt a bit..." he continued. "Hell with a bit, it's going to hurt a lot," stated Trent's aunt and guardian as her nephew carefully and expertly slid the ends of the wiring into the exposed flesh around the girl's clavicle. (FF.net)
  
• The Graduation Gift, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): I glanced at the clock. It was six thirty. I showered and got dressed. I stared at myself in the mirror. My short black bangs had been replaced by longer ones that curved around the contour of my face. I covered my lips in their signature red. My face appeared drawn and tired. My last set of finals had been brutal. I looked down at my hands. My fingers were calloused from years of artistic abuse. Today though will prove it was all worth it. I left the bathroom and headed back to my room. (FF.net)
  
• Regifted, by Ajar (Part 8): Quinn took a deep sip from her diet soda like a stereotypical cop with a cup of coffee in a particularly difficult interrogation. “Okay, let's go through this again. What skirt do you want to go with your top?” “What's wrong with jeans?” Daria asked. Quinn sighed dramatically. “I told you already. My jeans don't fit you. You have an apple body-type, everyone will see your belly. A couple weeks away from Pizza King and we'll discuss that.” “Quinn, this is really just a one-time thing.” “I can help you out. But ultimately you have to figure things out for yourself. Me doing this all for you isn't going to help you in the real world.” “I don't even watch The Real World.”
• NEWER! The Theme from Mack Dynamite, by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): [Songfic lyrics for everyone to sing!]
  
• Three-Edged Sword, by NightGoblyn (Part 3): "Jane... I... there's something I need to tell you." Jane leaned over, poking just enough of her head around the large canvas that Tom could see her from the nose up. She gestured with her paint brush for him to speak. "It's... it's important." Tom waited a moment, and when Jane didn't respond his brow creased with irritation. "Could you come out from behind the damn painting a minute?" Jane sighed, and Tom heard the clatter of her palette on the table followed by the gentle splash of her brush being dropped into a jar of water. She walked around the side of the easel and stretched, moaning slightly as her neck and shoulders popped. Tom's eyes flicked away, trying not to notice that Jane's figure had returned to what it was before her pregnancy, only now enhanced with a gentle swell of hips and a prouder set of breasts. Doing a good job not noticing, Tommy Boy, he thought sourly. (Continues from this once-unnamed story)
  
• Unnamed ficlet (Did you ever notice...), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!] (Daria/The Matrix)
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): The mob of peasants surged forward and threw the bespectacled girl at Bedevere's feet. "A witch, a witch! We've got a witch! Might we burn her?" "How do you KNOW she is a witch?" Bedevere demanded, his right eye periodically popping out of its socket. A particularly dim peasant, with outsized shoulders, spoke up. "She looks like one, y'know?" "I'm not a witch," the girl said flatly. "But you are DRESSED as one," Bedevere told her. "These morons dressed me up like this," the girl countered. "This isn't my nose. It's a false one." "Well, we did do the nose," the peasant conceded. (Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• NEW! Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Staticblast (COMPLETE!): "Good morning, Minister." "Gfd mfrng... Sorry, good morning. Scone's a bit dry." "Yes, well, I'd like to obtain a Government grant to help me develop my silly walk." "I see. May I see your silly walk?" (Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
  
• Unnamed story (More Crossovers Not Yet Crossed Over), by Minx (COMPLETE!): Sandi stood in front of her locker discussing the new school dress code, "...And under no circumstances shall either of you wear neon. It wasn't cute last year and I'll make damned sure it won’t be this year. I don't care what Valentino says," she turned to her trench-(wo)men for confirmation but was cut off but the chirp of three message cell phone tones sounding out simultaneously. Stacy was the first to check, she flipped open her phone and looked at Sandi gravely. "What, what is it?" Sandi barked. Stacy shook her head timidly and muttered a few words that resembled, 'Nothing, don't worry,' before flipping the phone shut and shoving it into the depths of her bag. "Nothing my ass," Sandi retorted as she drew her own cell-phone from her locker and checked her messages.
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Roxanne M (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Roxanne M (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!] (Daria/Fawlty Towers)
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!]
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!] (Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• Unnamed ficlet (Iron Chef: Crossover the Pond), by Wormbait (COMPLETE!): [Too short to sample!] (Daria/Monty Python's Flying Circus)
• The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser (continued): "Daria, I called because I wanted to find out if you could do something to help Stacy. She's been having these horrible nightmares about high school." "Quinn, there's nothing wrong about that. Almost everyone has horrible nightmares about high school. Even you. Remember that dream you had where you were surrounded by fanboys and nerds and couldn't get away from them, as they tried to get your autograph, cut off pieces of clothing and cop feels?" "Yeah, I sure do. And who would've thought it would turn into reality after I went to work in television..."
• NEWER! The White Fox, by Lord Akiyama (prologue): The figure went over the words again to make sure what he was reading was the material he was looking for. He looked up and around to make sure the teenage girl was still asleep in her bed. Satisfied, the figure silently slipped out of the padded bedroom through the window, careful to not make a sound as he went. He quietly moved, jumping from one rooftop to the next. Much of the moon was covered by clouds on this night, offering him more darkness to cover him from unsuspecting eyes that might get lucky and catch him about. The figure did not stop until thirty minutes later when he reached his destination.
  

What If... Lawndale Had Been Closer to Three Mile Island?

The infamous Three Mile Island near-meltdown took place 31 years ago today near Harrisburg, PA. This incident has been brought up in this blog several times, mainly because Lawndale is alleged to be in either eastern Pennsylvania or Maryland, very close to this spot. Jane Lane has something to say about how things would have been different if Lawndale had been a suburb of Harrisburg. Anyone interested in exploring this alternate history should read the notes about it here and a suggestion here.

This is also supposed to be Something on a Stick Day and Weed Appreciation Day, both of which I am sure Jane celebrates yearly in her own special manner.

ART TIME!

• Sandi and Tiffany from Daria: Hunter, by Jim North. Dead on.

FF.net

• Bumpmass, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): [previously appeared on PPMB]
• collar, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): [previously appeared on PPMB]
• Gimme the Prize, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): [previously appeared on PPMB]
• The Girl with Golden Eyes, by Michellesdaughter (Part 6): Jane walked out into the backyard and walked straight towards the two. Effy sat up and gave a little wave and Jane ended up slapping her. Daria ran outside with Jesse behind her. Trent was frozen at first, they all were. Effy stood up and held her face. "The hell, Jane?!"
  
• Pluck'd a White Rose, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): [previously appeared on PPMB] (OD)
  

PPMB

• NEW! Falling into College 72: Valley of Love and Delight, by RLobinske (Part 17): Together, Daria and Michael joined hands and returned down the aisle. When they walked by, Nell whispered to CC, "So much for standing up after the 'if any has reason, let them speak now' bit." Hearing them, Sean said, "Did you really think that they would leave an opening like that that?"
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 39: That S-E-X Word, by HolyGrail2007: Finn started to talk rather fast as Jane pulled his shirt off. “You’re nervous?” Jane asked. Finn only talked fast when he was nervous. “I... a little,” Finn admitted. “I mean, I really do want this, and I really want you, it’s just... you know I’ve never done this before and you deserve to be happy in all ways and I just want to give you the best pleasure imaginable and it’s a lot of pressure and it makes me nervous, and I always talk too much when I’m nervous and...” Finn continued to chatter, however, he did start pulling Jane’s clothes off.
• John Lane 45: Haunted by the Past, by RLobinske (Part 4): Jodie said, "So you're really doing it?" "Unless they're writing in crayon, I'm sure I can edit whatever they give me into something useful," Daria said. "And if they use crayons?" "I'll give it to John to convert into an art project." "Gee, thanks," he said.
• NEW! Kamen Rider D, by Silver (Part 4): D lashed out, punching it in the nose. The monster staggered back, holding its nose in surprise. "You're worse than my last date!" it snapped at her. "Um, we are trying to kill each other, you know." The tiger stopped to consider this. "Right. Forgot." It charged again.
  

"Is that thing radioactive?" "Isotope so!"

Today is the 142nd anniversary of the birth of Marie Curie, who studied radioactivity but wasn't as careful with her samples as she should have been. DON'T TRY TO FIND OUT IF RADIATION HAS A TASTE! DON'T CARRY RADIOACTIVE ITEMS IN YOUR POCKETS! That should do it. (Thanks to the almighty Pinhead for the image.)

Albert Camus would be 96 today had he not died in order to avoid seeing himself mentioned in "Quinn the Brain":

Quinn: By the way, do you know what existential means? Because today someone told me my writing was existential, so I thought I should coordinate, you know, with wardrobe.
Daria: Yeah, that's what Camus would have done. For your purposes, existential means "pseudo-intellectual poser with accessories from the street fair."

Camus was also mentioned in a Daria essay by Guy Wheatley. Good show.

Engineers celebrate this day for its value in teaching us about bridge building (as in, how not to). Love that video!

And you should know that this is an important date in a fanfic in which Jake Morgendorffer and Amy Barksdale conduct a torrid secret sexual affair that causes Daria to have brain damage. So, Amy likes his "fortitude," is that it? Yeah, right.

ART GNUZ

• In almost no time at all, Jim North produced a superb rendering of Albino Quinn from "In Silence Sarcastic." Click to the pic and tell him he is an awesome dude.
• NEW! Pinhead's "Strange Dream." 'Nuff said!
  

PPMB

• Anti-Trope, by Pinkminx (Part 6): “Self-esteem is important because..." Mr. O’Neill read the first question tentatively and glanced up at Dean. “It's a quality that will stand us in good stead the rest of our lives.” Dean replied in perfect monotone. (FF.net)
• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy (Part 14): Within fifteen minutes of starting their walk, Scarlett and Roger lost sight of the church or anyplace remotely familiar. The teen stopped briefly, looked back, then turned around and walked on ahead. (SFMB)
  
• Chances, by Coonassblondie (Parts 3 and 4): “So Jesse gave you his jacket, huh? Guess he’s pretty serious,” Trent said as he turned toward his sister as they sat at a traffic light, smiling softly at her. “To tell the truth, Trent, I don’t really know. I don’t know that much about him. Until tonight, I wasn’t aware he could form coherent sentences.” Trent only laughed in response, ending in his hacking cough. “Guess you learn something new every day, huh?”
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 12: Carnivore, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 2): “You owe me big for waking me up at 9 AM.” Jane’s eyes were bleary and tired looking. “You get up earlier to go to school.” Daria reminded. “The keyword for that is school.” Jane returned. “And the keyword in your earlier speech is AM. It’s a sin to wake a Lane before lunch.”
• In Silence Sarcastic, by Trscroggs (continued): Wednesday afternoon, three days after the Morgendorffer move was official, Quinn gingerly stepped out onto her back porch. While she would never admit it, Quinn was silently glad that the bulk of the house blocked light from the descending sun. Regardless, her prescription sunglasses were firmly in place as she looked out over the back yard. Standing in the middle of the yard Daria swung a bokken through a complicated weapon kata. Coming to a stop, Daria looked over at her sister.
• Iron Chef: Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by Project Pegasus (continued): "You're going home to visit your demon family for the holidays, aren't you?" "Maybe." "Let me go too! It'll be fun!" "No! I'm going alone. It'll literally be Hell enough going down there by myself." [Thanksgiving comes....]
  
• Regifted, by Ajar (Part 22): “Calm down, Stacy,” Quinn said. “We're almost to the bathroom. No one will even know that we're going to see that blemish.” “Blemish?” Stacy was confused. “What blemish?” “You know, the thing we're seeing in the bathroom.” “Ohh... that blemish.”
• NEW! Unnamed story (S-crap-s), by Raskolnikov (COMPLETE!): —Daria? What are you doing in my dream? —Excuse me? What are you doing in MY dream?
  

Don't play with things that make you glow in the dark

Famous person birthday time: today is the anniversary of the birth of Marie Curie, who studied radioactivity and, um, wasn't as careful with it as she should have been, but back then no one had any idea that radioactive stuff might be a little hazardous. Today is also an important anniversary in the field of bridge building (as in, how not to), and it is also an important date in a fanfic in which Jake Morgendorffer and Amy Barksdale conduct a torrid secret sexual affair, no kidding, sorry if you were eating or drinking something when you read that. Grosses me out every time I think about it. I mean, what was Jake thinking? Amy: ick, puke, barf. Rita is way hotter. Rita is nuclear.

Mmm, more later, out of exciting thoughts for now.

LATE ADD: Oh, here! Lesbian science and Daria!

It's Time For . . . DOCTOR SCIENCE!

Today marks the twenty-ninth anniversary of the nuclear accident at Three Mile Island, near Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, which resulted in a release of radiation that affected only one person: a young English teacher named Timothy O'Neill, who was driving by the Three Mile Island nuclear plant on his way to take a job in the Lawndale school system. As a result of his exposure, Tim mutated into a fearsome half-ton creature of unlimited rage and might. Self-esteem issues caused him to go on a rampage and destroy the cities of Altoona and Scranton before heading toward Lawndale, where he taught Language Arts and headed the Drama Horizons club until April 2002, when he was laid off due to budget cuts and destroyed Wilmington, Delaware.

This has been "One Minute with Doctor Science." We now return you to your regularly scheduled Internet surfing.