What If... Lawndale Had Been Closer to Three Mile Island?

The infamous Three Mile Island near-meltdown took place 31 years ago today near Harrisburg, PA. This incident has been brought up in this blog several times, mainly because Lawndale is alleged to be in either eastern Pennsylvania or Maryland, very close to this spot. Jane Lane has something to say about how things would have been different if Lawndale had been a suburb of Harrisburg. Anyone interested in exploring this alternate history should read the notes about it here and a suggestion here.

This is also supposed to be Something on a Stick Day and Weed Appreciation Day, both of which I am sure Jane celebrates yearly in her own special manner.

ART TIME!

• Sandi and Tiffany from Daria: Hunter, by Jim North. Dead on.

FF.net

• Bumpmass, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): [previously appeared on PPMB]
• collar, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): [previously appeared on PPMB]
• Gimme the Prize, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): [previously appeared on PPMB]
• The Girl with Golden Eyes, by Michellesdaughter (Part 6): Jane walked out into the backyard and walked straight towards the two. Effy sat up and gave a little wave and Jane ended up slapping her. Daria ran outside with Jesse behind her. Trent was frozen at first, they all were. Effy stood up and held her face. "The hell, Jane?!"
  
• Pluck'd a White Rose, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): [previously appeared on PPMB] (OD)
  

PPMB

• NEW! Falling into College 72: Valley of Love and Delight, by RLobinske (Part 17): Together, Daria and Michael joined hands and returned down the aisle. When they walked by, Nell whispered to CC, "So much for standing up after the 'if any has reason, let them speak now' bit." Hearing them, Sean said, "Did you really think that they would leave an opening like that that?"
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 39: That S-E-X Word, by HolyGrail2007: Finn started to talk rather fast as Jane pulled his shirt off. “You’re nervous?” Jane asked. Finn only talked fast when he was nervous. “I... a little,” Finn admitted. “I mean, I really do want this, and I really want you, it’s just... you know I’ve never done this before and you deserve to be happy in all ways and I just want to give you the best pleasure imaginable and it’s a lot of pressure and it makes me nervous, and I always talk too much when I’m nervous and...” Finn continued to chatter, however, he did start pulling Jane’s clothes off.
• John Lane 45: Haunted by the Past, by RLobinske (Part 4): Jodie said, "So you're really doing it?" "Unless they're writing in crayon, I'm sure I can edit whatever they give me into something useful," Daria said. "And if they use crayons?" "I'll give it to John to convert into an art project." "Gee, thanks," he said.
• NEW! Kamen Rider D, by Silver (Part 4): D lashed out, punching it in the nose. The monster staggered back, holding its nose in surprise. "You're worse than my last date!" it snapped at her. "Um, we are trying to kill each other, you know." The tiger stopped to consider this. "Right. Forgot." It charged again.
  

Whoops!

Today is an extra-special day in the field of nuclear boo-boos. Just 49 years ago, that wacky US Air Force went and bombed North Carolina by mistake with two hydrogen bombs, most of the pieces of which the Air Force later found. (The bombs, not North Carolina, of which there would have been no pieces left had the bombs gone off.) Ha, ha! I love those guys!

And then, 32 years ago, those wild and crazy Russians bombed Canada with a radioactive satellite. Is this a great planet or what? I'm tellin' ya! Just image how life could have been different for Daria and Quinn with such hijinks. It brings tears of joy to my eyes. If only....

On the serious side of the news, today is National Peanut Butter Day, and I expect everyone to show some consideration and respect that. After all, peanut butter played an important role in at least three Daria episodes: "Road Worrier," "It Happened One Nut," and "One J at a Time." Consider this: Jake would never have conquered the Squirrel Menace without it!

Also, this is the anniversary of a special space-related event (without nukes, alas) detailed in this column last year with the help of Beavis and Butt-head.

Quiverwing has improved her Mr. and Mrs. Sloane portrait, and it is teh awesome.

NEW! "Carrie-97" (or, "Daria's Bad Hair Day") by Pinhead. Perfect crossover.

BRAKING GNUZ!

• Richard Lobinske has started the official 2010 Daria FanArt Listing! Hooray!
• This blog has 22 followers! Yay! And we've gone over 1,500 posts! Whee!!!
  

PPMB

• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy (preview): "You'll have to loosen your pants, and be prepared to have the probe go inside your clothing." "Why?" Roger asked. "If you are severely contaminated, then it will show up in your perspiration and around your buttocks."
• Finn Morgendorffer 28: About My Mother, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): “I spend all my time trying to please that amp-addicted bipolar slave driver and for what?” Helen moaned. “To get the partnership?” Daria posed innocently.
• NEW! Sisters, by Roentgen (continued): The minute Daria left Mr. DeMartino's class, Stacy was right by Daria's side again. She's like one of these suckerfish. I can't get rid of her. "Hey Daria! How was Mr. DeMartino today?"
• NEW! Tracksuits, by Malakite (continued): "What do you want?" the man demanded with a scowl in a terse and unfriendly voice as he quickly looked Sandi up and down. It took her a second to recover from the shock of being so easily surprised before she replied in a small, almost breathless voice: "Sanctuary."
  
• Trapped, by Jim North (continued): Daria felt a maniac giggle start to rise in her throat. Smashing it down hard, she fought once again for control. Nothing was going to be helped by going to pieces. Shaggy had done enough of that for all of them, Burnout was a role model for inner strength despite her earlier slip, and Jane looked like she would start freaking if Daria freaked.
• NEW! Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Breakfast of Zombie Champions), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): Mary Elwood looked at Bruiser as the superhero sat across the table from her, and realized just how...normal their being together felt. He had listened to her story calmly, didn't interrupt her, and asked sensible questions, while avoiding the ones that could be considered salacious.
  

Those Who Can, Teach

This is World Teachers' Day, and having once been a substitute teacher myself I hereby pay tribute to those who struggle to bring light into the minds of our youth. And resist the urge to strangle some of them. Don't get me started. Thanks to Mr. O'Neill and Ms. Barch.

SFMB celebrates its sixth birthday today. Thank you, Thea Zara, for all your hard work!

Not a lot going on at the moment. Has anyone noticed if MTV has made an announcement about the Daria DVD anywhere on MTV.com? Kinda odd. Hope they put up more specific information before long.

Mutant and atomic-wasteland lovers: check out the discussion at PPMB on TMI+20: Lawndale after Three Mile Island goes BOOM!

Are two Heads better than one?

Another marvelous freaky moment in the series, if you were paying attention. It's the end of "Prize Fighters," and Jake Morgendorffer is sponsoring a hot dog eating contest to advertise his business. Lots of kids walk up to watch the fun.

Among them is The Head, walking in from the left side of this image. He's coming up behind Bob.

Also walking over is The Head, coming in from the bottom of the screen on the left side.

What the hell is going on here? This school has more mutants than Xavier's Academy. Does this have anything to do with the time The Head's glasses turned black, or when he appeared on a milk carton as a missing kid? Does Shaggy (over on the right side, orange shirt) have anything to do with this?

It's Time For . . . DOCTOR SCIENCE!

Today marks the twenty-ninth anniversary of the nuclear accident at Three Mile Island, near Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, which resulted in a release of radiation that affected only one person: a young English teacher named Timothy O'Neill, who was driving by the Three Mile Island nuclear plant on his way to take a job in the Lawndale school system. As a result of his exposure, Tim mutated into a fearsome half-ton creature of unlimited rage and might. Self-esteem issues caused him to go on a rampage and destroy the cities of Altoona and Scranton before heading toward Lawndale, where he taught Language Arts and headed the Drama Horizons club until April 2002, when he was laid off due to budget cuts and destroyed Wilmington, Delaware.

This has been "One Minute with Doctor Science." We now return you to your regularly scheduled Internet surfing.

Random Fanfic Idea #14

Toward the end of "Esteemsters," Ms. Li speaks at Assembly and mentions the theft of money from the school office, then adds, ". . . but I am confident we will get that money back. In a related note, the school nurse will be visiting homerooms tomorrow to collect DNA samples." (One suspects she might have taken the money for her own paranoid projects and is covering up for it, but we'll skip that part for now.) Obviously she has to send the DNA samples out to a lab for testing. What if something funny happened to those DNA samples later on, like they were used in some kind of nefarious secret project and all of a sudden . . .

. . . you fill in the blank. Clones of Kevin running amok only a few years later? Quinn crossbred with a chihuahua, like that alter ego of her on the MTV site? Tiffany as a real live Pokemon? Thinking about this just makes me all warm and fuzzy and happy inside.