She's Got No Strings...or Brain Cells

Tiffany is acting even more artificial than ever before, in honor of Pinocchio Day. While I'm sure she'd love to be a real girl, I don't think even Dr. Shar will be able to help with her nose if either Quinn or Sandi ask her whose side she's on.

Jodie, meanwhile, might celebrate Play Tennis Day because she's on the Lawndale High Tennis Team. On second thought, she'd probably much rather just skip the whole thing and have the day off. For once.

On this day in 1998, the episode "The Daria Hunter" aired. Not only did we learn that Helen is forty-six--I mean, forty-four, but we got to witness the unholy birth of the relationship between Barch and O'Neill. Shudders all around.

Fandom News!

• The deadline to vote for the 2024 Daria Fanworks Awards is today! Vote if you haven't yet!


• cortez shares a theory on why Quinn chases popularity.

Wait Until She Sees Her Own Nose Grow

Tiffany's hoping to finally become a real girl because it's Pinocchio Day and miracles can happen. I think she'd be better off asking the Blue Fairy to increase her IQ, but I expect some feats are beyond even magic.

Someone should let Jodie know that it's Play Tennis Day, and as a member of the Tennis Team she needs to get some practice in. It's not like she has anything else going on right now, right? Even though he prefers golf now, as a child Jake did ask to go to tennis camp, so he might be interested as well. Then again, considering that request led him to military school, he might not.

If you'd like to trade a tennis racket for a paintball gun, that would be appropriate for the anniversary of "The Daria Hunter," which aired on this day in 1998. If anyone needs me, I'll be staying out of the line of fire at the Hanoi Hilton replica.

Fanfic Update!

• The Betrothed, by easmith (parts 15 and 16): "The door swung open slowly and silently, startling Dylan upright in his bed. Visions of midnight assassins mixed with fading fragments of dreams tumbled through his head as he frantically felt for the clothes he had tossed onto the floor on the way to bed, remembering the sword he had laid on top of the pile." (Part 16)


• Daria Criticizes Butch Hartman's Views on Autism, by Buffcoat (COMPLETE!): "[The scene opens in the school cafeteria. Daria Morgendorffer sits at a table, flipping through a book, while Butch Hartman, the famous animator, stand nearby, surrounded by students eager to talk to him.]"


• Roasted, by wilddogjj (parts 2 and 3): "Outside the restaurant the old sign that read Bubba's Barbecue Pit was being replaced with one that read Quinn's Fine Dining." (Part 3)


• This is Not America, by ladyevil (part 6): "In Jane’s back yard, Alfred was giving Daria and Jane another self defense demonstration. 'You want to know what to do if someone tries to strangle you, Daria?'"


• Titanic - A True Story, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 29): "In the depths of the night that would soon be a part of history, and with Titanic already listed in a rather sharp fashion, it soon became clear why Captain Edward Smith had wanted to keep the situation under control and professional order for as long as would be possible..."

Don't Try Blocking Paintballs with a Tennis Racket!

Daria's not impressed by Play Tennis Day, but she might have better luck if she stands facing the net. You know, the direction the ball comes in? She's putting in even less effort here than she does in volleyball.

Speaking of low effort Daria, today is the anniversary of the episode "The Daria Hunter" in 1998. While Daria didn't bother to try during the paintball game, she did show a surprising amount of stamina both in walking to see the Great White Shark and in not punching Jordana when she refused to shut up about the lousy tooth.

Fandom News!

• Discuss the ongoing situation between Russia and Ukraine.

Tennis, Anyone?

Daria looks pretty unenthusiastic about Play Tennis Day, but then again she looks unenthusiastic about pretty much everything. This holiday seems more Jodie's speed, both in terms of being on the tennis team and being buried in extracurricular activities. Come to think of it, Jake--having once wanted to go to tennis camp--might enjoy this one as well.

Today is also the anniversary of "The Daria Hunter," which aired on this day in 1998. There wasn't any tennis in that one, but we did get to see Brittany's impressive combat skills in action.

Fandom News!

• Talk about songs which mention super heroes but aren't necessarily about them.


• TheBrodsterBoy posted a new Iron Chef: Very ILL.


• Discuss ten important Eurovision performances.


• Share Daria references you've noticed in movies and TV.


• welltemperedclavier is looking for ideas on expanding the forum.


• Suggest bad funeral music for Lady Evil.

Maybe She Just Found a More Effective Weapon Against Quinn

I have no idea why Daria's so interested in Play Tennis Day, but the answer can't be good. In fact, we might want to check her neck for implants.

On the other hand, maybe the choice was between tennis and paintball, like in "The Daria Hunter," which aired on this day in 1998. Sometimes you've just got to go with the lesser evil.

Fandom News!

• The winners in the 2016 Daria Fanworks Awards are in! See the results linked in the thread.


• What happened to the racist whites in the Civil Rights era? Shiva shares an article for eveyrone to discuss.


• Meester_Lee posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: Jake Goes To Sober Meetings.

Paintball Tennis, Anyone?

Daria's surprisingly willing to join an extracurricular activity for Play Tennis Day, but maybe Jodie finally wore her down. Or if Jodie couldn't talk Daria into joining her on the tennis team, maybe Jake did. Apparently he wanted to go to tennis camp instead of military school, so this could be his chance to live vicariously through his daughter.

Speaking of unwanted physical exertion, today is also the anniversary of the episode "The Daria Hunter," which aired on this day in 1998. Jane revealed her love of Great White Sharks while Quinn and Sandi's rivalry reached new heights.

Fandom News!

• The results of the 2015 Daria Fanworks Awards are in! Congratulations to the winners and the nominees!


• Roentgen found some Daria and Jane cosplay on Instagram.

Tennis, Anyone?

It's Play Tennis Day! Daria looks surprisingly enthusiastic--for her, anyway--to be participating in the holiday. I'm sure tennis team member Jodie would be joining in the fun...if she only had the time for it.

 Today is also the anniversary of the original airing of "The Daria Hunter" in 1998. Anyone want to see the Great White Shark?

Fandom News!

• PrecambrianStudios would like your opinion of his Trent impression.


• What's your cutie mark? Tell everyone what symbol would best represent you.


• Discuss the upcoming release of the Playstation 4.


• At the twentieth anniversary of Babylon 5, talk about the show with your fellow fans.


• Four Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: baelparagon's Criminals of Lawndale, DIsaac's Things that will never come out of Kevin's mouth, PrecambrianStudios's Words Don't Kill People. I DO, and Shiva's Things that will never come out of Sandi's mouth.. EVER!


• BloodyWilliam has a question about artwork.

Tennis, Anyone?

Today is Play Tennis Day, so grab your rackets and get to the courts! Daria is participating with all of her usual enthusiasm, and I'm sure Jodie--as a proud member of the tennis team--is also getting into the spirit. Unless she's busy with one of her thousands of other activities.

This is also the 14th anniversary of the original air date of "The Daria Hunter," in which Daria also participated in a paintball war with all of her usual enthusiasm. We also got to witness Brittany's unexpected skill with combat, Quinn's inability to keep a secret from her mother, and Barch and O'Neill...well, let's just pretend we never saw that, okay?

Fandom News!

• Posters commiserate about the train crash in Buenos Aires.


• Derek shared an article: Eternal copyright: a modest proposal.


• What do you think Daria and Bones have in common? What other characters can you compare between the TV shows?


• Check out two threads on alternate history: The Sidhe's suggestion and The Angst Guy's Alternate World Flea Market.


• Four new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: BrownEyedBagel's How did we get here?, neonhomer's Ms. Li, Fhujeth_x's Strange BedFellows of Romance, and Walter Kovacs's Tom was there.

One None for the Road, Please

Today, strange as it may seem, is International Beer Day, celebrated in the most obvious way possible: drink a beer. Root beer is permissible, which is good because that's all I'm going to drink. Maybe with ice cream, however. Mmmm. If you drink real beer, please be considerate of others and drink responsibly. And have fun.

The object as left is a drawing of a flask, ostensibly for alcoholic beverages such as beer. It came from an MTV Animation archive somewhere and appeared on Daria, but I can't recall where. Maybe it belonged to Mr. DeMartino in "The Daria Hunter."

I was sure I had some other beer-related images in my picture file. Gimme a minute...

There we go! McGrundy's Pub.

Neil Armstrong turns 80 today. The first long-distance journey by car was performed 122 years ago about now by a woman and her two sons. The woman who did it was the wife of a car maker: Bertha Benz. Thanks to her, everyone realized what automobiles were capable of, and the rest is history.

NuZ!

• Crossovers Still Crossing Over is the new crossover thread (thank you, Richard!)
• "Pulp Fiction" background notes on the Doc Savage universe are being offered by Chris Tucker.
• NEW! Upchuck—Threat or Menace? is still bringing in comments. So are Daria's Attempted Murder and Possible story idea: Jane doesn't get into BFAC.
  

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• At the Fics with Daria and Jane: Intermission I, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): Jane's left eye was swollen shut, although the sunglasses and makeup hid most of the bruising. As did the fashionable scarf around her neck for the bruises on her throat. Daria fared much better, as the element of surprise was in her favor. Although the knee to her abdomen was painful, it was the burns on her butt from the Taser that caused the most discomfort. The show producer mentioned the tranquilizer gun and the absolute lack of reluctance to use it if need be.
• At the Fics with Daria and Jane: Part II, by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Hey there! Welcome back to 'At the Fics' with Daria and Jane.' Daria got a bit frisky with her faux outrage there and we had some set malfunctions." "You can barely see the swelling from here, Jane. A little ice and you'll be JUST fine..."
• NEW! Dimwits & Dragons, by Ken T. (Part 2): The townsfolk had been nice enough until they had noticed Daria's hat. After that, they became guarded, many looking into the sky constantly as if expecting to be bombed any minute. It was Mack who suggested that they move on. The morning had started mundane enough. Brittany complained for the first fifteen minutes of their journey about her need to wear something that wasn't icky animal covering her skin. Upchuck stayed within constant eyesight of Jane and Brittany's rears with a constant leer on his face, and Kevin kept smashing trees and rocks with his club until Mack send both of them to the front of the group to keep an eye out for trouble.
• NEWESTER! Finn Morgendorffer 55: Dreamer Without a Cause, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 3): “Didn’t your sister get waitlisted to Crestmoore?” Jeffy asked. “Bromwell,” Finn corrected. “But that’s another school I got accepted to. Heh, I guess that showed her who’s the greatest.” “What are you gonna do, Finn?” “Who knows,” Finn replied. “With all the stuff that’s been going on, I haven’t decided. Made a few choices though. Though maybe I’ll skip it and become the on-again, off-again lover of a European princess. And her sister.” The guys shared a laugh with that one.
  
• NEW! Jane Lane: Ace Attorney: Turnabout Teacher's Pet (Parts 5 and 6): “So,” said Jane, looking at the police tape surrounding a corner of the gym and a door, “this is the scene of the crime.” “Yes, apparently,” said Upchuck, a bit distracted. “I wonder what the hell was he doing here,” she said, trying to take a peek inside. “Yeah, me too...” “Hey, I’m not the gumshoe here, care to focus?” (Part 6)
• NEWEST! Judge Daria, by Brian Taylor (Part 1): "Can these loamy ladies predict the outcome of the presidential election? Political prognostication from the mud pit, as Sick Sad World returns!" He glanced at his watch. Thirty minutes. He leaned back in his swiveling chair, put his feet up on the desk, and proceeded to lose himself in the mud-wrestling routines playing out on the dirty screen. If all went according to plan, he'd be set until PFC Stanners came in at oh six-hundred to relieve him. Things were not, however, going according to plan. On the monitors, had Wolodarsky been watching them, was something unusual for that time of the night -- or any other. A spindly black tangle of limbs, topped by a head sleek as a beetle's shell, was soundlessly advancing down a bright hallway towards a group of guards clustered in front of a service elevator. (Daria/Judge Dredd)
  
• Legacy, by Getrealordie187 (Part 2): Sometimes, he thinks he's taken a prank too far but then he mentally slaps himself because there's no such thing. "Did we measure it right?" He checks the length of the rope again and it's the perfect length with the right amount of give. "It's perfect." Morgendorffer laughs, suspended 10 feet in the air high above him. "I love it when a plan comes together." This wasn't happening. "No, just no. We're not the A-Team because that would make you Hannibal and me B.A. Baracus. I can't be B.A. Baracus, Morgendorffer. I'm not built for the care and consideration a Mohawk of that magnitude requires." "Yeah, plus you're not cool enough to be Mr. T."
• NEW! Legacy, by Getrealordie187 (Interlude 2): There are days when she can't contain her satisfaction. Once a week she gets her mom to drive her into Dallas for "bonding time" and leaves with shoes and clothes that she wears once before shoving them in the back of her closet; repeat outfits were for the less fortunate. Her dad's wrapped around her finger (just like every other male in Highland) and she barely has to beg before he gives her money to go to the movies and get snacks. She always promises to bring him change from the $50 he gives her each time but she never does and he always forgets to ask. School was a breeze; she squeaks by with C's and high D's and when her mom gets on her case, she has some loser do an extra credit assignment for her just so she can parade an A in front of her parents and bask in the praise that she's smart and clever. But she's never forgotten how things used to be.
  
• Maria Smirks at Us, by Wraith (COMPLETE!): From a distance, there was nothing to make her stand out from the rest of the students. She was of average height, and her brown shoulder-length hair was typical enough to attract no special attention. Glasses, although not common, were certainly not unusual. But a closer look revealed that she was, unlike nearly every other girl on campus, clearly not Japanese. She stopped in front of the statue, and put her hands together. Although it was customary to pray in silence, she muttered under her breath. Her prayer, while short, was quite possibly the most fervent of all. "God, why did I agree to this?" (Daria/Maria-sama ga Miteru)
• The Melody Plays On, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): The phones on a matched set of oak desks rang; several lights flashed for a moment, then stopped and the intercom light remained steady. A young woman with shoulder length black hair pressed a button before lifting the handset to her ear. After a murmured hello, a slow smile curled scarlet lips and she replaced the receiver on its base. “I’ve just received a reliable tip from the front desk. It seems that a certain someone has a handsome visitor– whose name starts with an ‘M,’ ends with a ‘K’ and has an ‘A’ and a ‘C’ in between.” Jet eyebrows bounced and the woman seated at the other desk sighed, though a light blush stained her cheeks.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Real Esteem): by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "Hmm. It's been fifteen minutes, and still no sign of Mr. O'Neill," Jane said as she tossed the wadded paper ball over to Daria. Daria caught the ball and held on to it, rolling it around in her hand a few times before tossing it back. "How much longer do you think we should wait before we give up and leave?" she asked. "Fifteen minutes ago, preferably, but—" The sound of a heavy engine rumbling up outside followed by a massive blast from an air horn caused Jane to jump in surprise and drop the paper ball. (Daria/Transformers)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Real Esteem), by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): Daria struggled to resist the urge to twiddle her thumbs as she waited for the class to start. Finally, a tall man with dark hair and dark-framed glasses came into the room. “Hi, everybody,” he said before turning to close the door. “I’m, you - oops!” He stopped when the sleeve of his dark blue suit, that was hung in the door, kept him from walking to the desk. Setting his briefcase down, he scowled at the door for a moment before having trouble opening it. “Ah,” he said as the door opened. Carefully, he closed the door, then turned and stumbled over the briefcase. When some of the class laughed, he smiled and shrugged. “I guess that is kind of funny,” he admitted. (Daria/Superman)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Real Esteem): by Ranger Thorne (COMPLETE!): Daria struggled to resist the urge to twiddle her thumbs as she waited for the class to start. Finally, a tall man with dark hair and dark-framed glasses came into the room. “Hi, everybody,” he said before turning to close the door. “I’m you—oops!” He stopped when the sleeve of his dark blue suit, that was hung in the door, kept him from walking to the desk. “It can’t be,” Daria heard the girl behind her whisper. (Daria/Superman)
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Real Esteem): by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): Daria didn't want to be here. Self-esteem class, what a load of rubbish. Still, there might be some amusement to be had here. After the class had settled in, the door opened, as if on its own. A man glided in, dressed in a long, brown hooded robe. He removed the hood, and showed himself to be a distinguished-looking older gentleman, with a thin white beard. Something about his presence made the class fall silent. "Good afternoon, younglings. My name is Mr. Kenobi. I will be your instructor in self-esteem for the next several weeks." (Daria/Star Wars)
• NEW! Unnamed story (The Writer (One Shot)), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): The two women had removed their costumes before leaving the house, and were in their car, speaking to their unknown benefactor by phone. "Well done, ladies! The balance of your fee will be sent when you email the photographs. Good bye!" The cellphone went silent. "So, just who is this guy?"
  
• The Writer, by Roxanne M (COMPLETE!): As he slept, a woman’s voice calling his name weaved its way into the nooks and crannies of his brain. He awoke and lay still in the darkness, remarking to himself how real and lifelike it was to hear her, the one object of his fan devotion, say his name. Then he heard it again: “Wake Up.” This time it was no dream. It was loud and in his face. He fumbled for the bedside lamp. As his eyes adjusted to the light, there she was, beside his bed. He would recognize the oversized glasses, green jacket, and Doc Marten boots anywhere. He blurted out, “You are not real!” then heard another voice: “Sure we are real.” He turned his head and to his surprise saw her partner in crime on the other side of the bed.
  

Apocalypse? And How!

This day marks the 86th birthday of justly famed actor Marlon Brando, who gets some subtle mention in Daria. Brando's famous role as a renegade Army officer in Apocalypse Now is parodied in the alter ego with Timothy O'Neill at right. (See this image for comparison.) Other scenes from that movie are referenced in "The Daria Hunter," particular with Mr. DeMartino's dark imitation (below left) of Brando as the insane officer of Apocalypse Now.

I was poking around in MTV.com and noticed two startling news items about Marlon Brando and... wait for it... Beavis and Butt-head. You have to read these two (here and here) to get it. Whoa! That's just bizarre!

What else is going on... I'll have to post all the new fanfiction here later today. Stay tooned for moar.

I'M OVERCOME WITH EMOTION!

BREAKING NEWZ! Daria episodes are now on Amazon's video on demand!!!

THIS IS
SPAARRRTAAAAA!!!

Also, get set for Daria fandom's own version of MARCH MADNESS!!!

How do I turn off the CAPSLOCK??!?!?

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• A Double-Blind Trial, by Disco316 (COMPLETE!): Sandi called out to Stacy in a whisper, “Stacy! What’s going on?” Stacy’s attempt to make a reply caused her to wince in pain, as much as she could without being able to safely close her eyes. “Um, sorry, Stacy. Can you handle nodding?” Stacy nodded with a noticeable effort. “Good. Did you see who did this to you?” A nod. “Was it some pervert guy trying to get lucky with you?” Stacy shook her head. “Was it a guy?” Head shake. “It’s a girl?” Nod. “Did you know her?” Nod. “Wait, if you’re here, and Quinn’s over there, where’s…?”
• NEW! End over End, by Shull Bitter (Part 1): "Jane, you look terrible," Daria said. "Thanks, amiga. You always know just what to say to make a girl feel good about herself," Jane said. Her words were croaked out in between sniffles. Jane was fully dressed and accessorized with a box of tissues tucked under one arm.
  
• Engineered Tiff, by Ajar (COMPLETE!): God, would those two ever shut up. Maybe if I called an accessory committee meeting, that would get me out of this. If being here didn't guarantee me instant popularity I wouldn't be able to stand the boredom.
• Falling into College 72: Valley of Love and Delight, by RLobinske (Part 12): "Still trying to figure out how Michael lucked out," Jack said. Thinking about Daria's story of how they got together, Helen said, "From what I understand, he took a chance." "And still got lucky," Jack said. He paused and hurriedly added, "I don't mean that kind of lucky."
• Finn Morgendorffer 35: The Fat Chick, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 5): “Sandi, that girl dared to stand against you, and said she didn’t need you anymore. And now, she’s here. You have the opportunity. Crush her, break her. Show her what a fool she was for ever thinking she was superior to you. Who deserves to be the queen of Lawndale High?” “Me.” Sandi smiled cruelly.
• NEW! The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 13): Daria gave up on further attempts at friendship and left the room. Daria enjoyed the fact that the four flights of stairs she had to climb were down, and not up. Stepping forward, she OH MY GOD IT'S A PIT I'M STEPPING INTO A BIG BLACK PIT THAT GOES STRAIGHT DOWN AND GOES NOWHERE GOD HELP ME I'M GOING TO FALL PLEASE GOD HELP ME
  
• Not So Slow, by Jim North (COMPLETE!): I flick the switch up, then I flip it down so I can flick it up again. This time, I have to do it right, or something bad will happen. The switch flips up, the lights come on, and it is right this time. I know because I can feel it in my fingertips. If it had not flipped right, I would have felt it all along the whorls and curves on the pads, intruding on the tissues underneath like a virus trying to spread through my body starting at the extremities. But I do not feel that, so it is okay. It is going to be okay. I am not slow. (FF.net)
  
• Tales of the Ringbearers: A New Ringbearer, by Aloysius (Part 4): “Back when Beavis was being trained, he happened to run off a cliff and started to fall. You could even hear him yell, ‘AIEEEE!’, as if he were Daffy Duck. Then one of the metahumans we normally deal with watched him and said, ‘You know, I wonder if that silly boy will remember that he can fly?’” She chuckled and shook her head at the memory. “Did he finally remember?” Tony asked. Rose shook her head. “Nope."
• Tales of the Ringbearers: The Aeon Interdict, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): I wish I could see the children now, Claire Defoe said, feeling ashamed as she remembered seeing the battle that took the life of Sandi Griffin, one of the students she remembered from Lawndale High School. I wish that I could let you know what I can do, and help all of you start to rebuild the world...
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: "...And that's how your dad and I got together"), by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): [Oh, I'd better not ruin this one. Hang on.]
• When the Bullet Hits, by Silver (COMPLETE!): The gun fell from Jane's hand. It fell as much from shock as any thing else. The force of the round it had spat out moments before had kicked Tom Sloane over backwards. Her Tom. Or so she'd thought.
  

Apocalypse Ciao

"The Daria Hunter" premiered twelve years ago today on MTV, early in the second season. It was revealed in a flipbook on the MTV Daria website that this episode contained parodies of famous scenes from movies about the Vietnam War. (Click the link to see.)

Curiously, the next three days after this one are each the anniversary of the showing of an early episode in a new season of Daria, and all are in chronological order with today, too (second season, third, fourth, and fifth). This should be a fandom holiday week or something.

The humor thread of False Facts About the TV Show "Daria" just gets better and better.

LATE NOTE: I just noticed that Daria's Sick, Sad Life Planner says today is the anniversary of the announcement of the cloning of Dolly the Sheep, but it was actually on February 22, 1997. The CD-Rom does contain an amusing comment on the event from Daria.

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• NEW! After Daria, by Ravynstone (COMPLETE!): It didn’t take her long to find the urn. Jake had taken it upstairs, to the bedroom he once shared with Helen. The urn sat on right side of the dresser. Amy touched it with one hand, and sighed. The urn was cool and slick, made of some kind of plastic that looked like china. Amy tapped her fingers against it. Hell, she thought. If you’re going to do it, girl, just do it.
  
• NEW! Daria: Hunter—Strictly Business, by Jim North (continued): The second round of laser blasts started, breaking the bounty hunters out of their shock and sending them in an all-out run toward the outer door. The empty corridors to either side of the area blurred as they propelled themselves forward, Daria somehow managing to almost keep pace with the much faster Jane. [And now even more!]
  
• A Descent, by Silver (COMPLETE!): Pretty. Annoying. Dead. The words echoed through her mind as she twirled. It had started well enough, with wine, ruby red. Flowing, first from bottle, then jug, then box. She giggled. It had been so pretty, so beautiful to watch, a ruby waterfall cascading into glasses, into mouths.
• NEW! The Dream of the White Darkness, by jtranser (continued): "My God! Daria, what the hell happened to you?! You look like you saw a ghost!" "Close. I ran right into the Wigley Phenomenon. You know, the alien consciousness that's present in the most intense dreams of the criminally insane."
  
• Finn Morgendorffer 33: Independence, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): “But it’s okay,” Finn soothed. “I’m not angry, and I’m not sorry. I do like you, Jane, I do. It’s... it’s just...” “Daria will castrate you with a pair of rusty gardening shears,” Jane finished.
• General Semantics, Private Angst, by Gwrtheyrn (Part 13): Daria anxiously awaited some sort of response to her ring. She was beginning to feel the increasing chill in the breeze against her rain-dampened clothing. I can’t even get myself captured by villains on cue. My sister would never have had this problem. She’d have them bringing her sodas. Not too much crushed ice. Maybe a wedge of lemon.
• Regifted 2: I Put Away Joyless Things, by Ajar (Part 5): This better not be another telemarketer, Graham thought as he anxiously picked up the phone. “Is this who I think it is?” he asked. “I'm the one whose butt you have to kiss.” “You say kiss, I say how much tongue.”
• Unnamed story, by Minx (Part 1): My name is Quinn Morgendorffer. If you find this it means one of three things: we’ve been forced to flee and abandon all non-essential items, we too have been captured, or we’re all dead...

A History of Violence, Part 1

It has been mentioned before that LHS head cheerleader Brittany Taylor has serious anger-management issues, but it is helpful to have visual evidence of this rather disturbing trait. As it happens, there's quite a lot of said evidence. Seriously, what is up with this chick? Everyone remembers her performance in "The Daria Hunter," but do you remember these special moments? (By the way, a special "thank you" goes out to the magnificent UU and Pinhead for some of these superb shots, which had to be shrunk down to fit on the page. The images that don't look as nice are my own. So sue me.)

Brittany can do major damage without half trying (mainly to Kevin, but any male who insults her is fair game). She elbows and foot-stomps Kevin in "Malled," smacks the hell out of the much bigger Tommy Sherman in "The Misery Chick," and (may as well show it) goes Buffy-ballistic in "The Daria Hunter." Plus, she knows squad-level military tactics. By heart. And she's supposed to be a moron. How can she do this? What happened to turn her into the teen-girl version of Nick Fury? She doesn't appear to be afraid of anything or anyone, to my knowledge.

I recall reading one of Nemo Blank's epic tales, "Ring Toss," and thinking that his view of Brittany as violence prone was taking things too far. A typical quote from that story (quoting from Kevin's thoughts):

Brittany would kill him if she found out about it. Really kill him. She was a black belt and liked to break bricks in her backyard. She was getting physical with him in more ways than one, these days.

...and...

Brittany's fists clenched and her features hardened into an all too familiar mask of rage. "You big jerk!" It came out as a scream of pure hatred. Kevin backpedaled, eyes widening... She moved so fast that he never even glimpsed the blow that felled him.

This is as good a time as any to announce that I was wrong. My bad! Nemo apparently got it right, although Brittany doesn't appear to know karate. She's more of a gymnastic but undisciplined (thankfully) dirty fighter. Nemo even explained that Kevin wears his football pads all day long to absorb some of the blows Brittany deals out, which makes sense. Then he gave Brittany a massive multi-drug addiction originally meant to contain her rage. Wow.

Okay, to be sure, the above examples (plus her spontaneous rodeo pile-driving of a striker who hit Kevin in "Monster") come from the first two seasons of Daria. Maybe she mellowed out later on.

As we will see in Part II, the answer is painfully plain.

Ouch! Those paintball thingies hurt!

"The Daria Hunter" premiered eleven years ago today. How many different ways could that class trip have turned out differently? One or more of the participants could have disappeared mysteriously. Daria and Jane come to mind, wandering away like they did. But what else? What alternate universes could have sprung from this episode? All I remember is that Brittany turned out to be Super Merc.

Part of this story takes place seven years ago today. Can you guess what it is before clicking the link? Moar l8r!

American Psycho II, The Sequel

One more shot I had to share of Mr. DeMartino, the psycho rogue commando supersoldier from the future. Pure awesome.






I tell you, it just doesn't get any better than this.

Okay, on to something else tomorrow.

American Psycho I

Now and then you come across an image from a Daria episode that's as good as the show itself.

This, IMHO, is one.

Anthony DeMartino in military gear with a sci-fi weapon in hand (a paintball gun, but it does look pretty futuristic), from "The Daria Hunter."

This just begs for fanfic. I had to share it.

Sigh. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.