Paging Quinn the Keg Queen....

Jesse has gone just a bit overboard in celebrating National Beer Day, but he seems happy enough. Kevin could celebrate by singing "99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall," but I find it hard to believe that he can count to 99 forward, let alone backward.

Helen, on the other hand, could enjoy Motherhood and Beauty Day by participating in another mother-daughter fashion show, except that there's no way Quinn would allow it after the last disastrous attempt.

Not that Quinn had much better luck in either of the episodes "This Year's Model" or "I Loathe a Parade," which both aired on this day in 1997 and 2000. The first one led to Quinn getting passed over in favor of Kevin, while the second one saw her covered in engine exhaust.

Fandom News!

• cfardell_Brenorenz29 shared a Daria-related video: "The Trial of Tom Sloane."

But I Thought Keg Queen Was Quinn's Job!

Brittany is pleased to serve everyone a cold one in honor of American Beer Day, but I hope Kevin limits himself to just one. Partly because I'm sure his judgment is even worse when he's been drinking but also because if he starts singing the song about beers on the wall then I don't think he'll be able to count backward much further than that.

Daria and her family, meanwhile, could celebrate National Tell a Story Day by sharing spooky stories with each other. By now I'm sure Daria and Quinn are old enough to hear the uncensored version of Helen's vampire story, but I don't think anyone wants to hear round two of Daria's cannibal tale.

On this day in 1997, Daria made an appearance in Fortune, along with several of her fellow cartoon characters. True to form, Daria seems to have been the only one who brought a book.

Fanfic Update!

• And so what? We have free will anyway, by natalieee_139 (part 14): "'I actually kind of knew what was going on with Tom— and the reason why he was following Janey too.' Trent confessed, nervously rubbing the back of his neck."


• Scares the Beef, by wilddogjj (parts 2 and 3): "Quinn, Jim and the triplets were sitting in the living room watching TV. On the screen was Stacy and her co-anchor. The co-anchor was finishing his report." (Part 3)


• Spider Quinn 19 Making the News Amidst the Storms, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "However, Dafoanairi found a panel that had been displaced and found the power switch beneath it. The powerless pterodactyl was then placed on a table as Ninja Talon and Dafoanairi both looked for the controller."

Long Live the Queen of Sarcasm

Daria reigns supreme as Elizabeth I on the anniversary of the English queen's birth on this day in 1533. Although that looks like the most uncomfortable outfit she's ever worn--and yes, I'm including the bridesmaid's dress--I do give her credit for staying true to her usual color scheme.

Does Kevin know that today is National Beer Lovers Day? If not, someone should let him know so that he can crush cans on his head and sing his favorite song about ninety-nine bottles of beer. I have to admit, I'd be surprised to learn that he can actually count to 100, let alone backwards.

A drink might be a good idea for at least some of the Morgendorffers if either grandmother chooses to celebrate Grandparents' Day today. God help us all if both grandmothers decide to visit on the same day!

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between Muffy Tepperman and Sandi Griffin.

Me-OW!

Mr. O'Neill has chosen an odd way to celebrate International Cat Day, but far be it from me to judge anyone's personal hobbies. Seriously, between this and his antics as the Lawndale Lions mascot, I'm starting to wonder about some of his extracurricular activities....

Setting aside Ms. Barch's current boyfriend, I think it's very likely that her ex-husband is celebrating International Beer Day, perhaps by adding to his pyramid made of "Beers of the World" empties. I'm sure it's an engineering marvel by this point!

On this day in 2011, Racked published "Daria Morgendorffer's Greatest Retail Regret," an interview with Daria about her experience with buyer's remorse. Click the link to hear all about the baggy fleece jumpsuit that Daria regrets buying.

Fanfic Update!

• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 8): "'I hate writing artist statements,' Jane said, half hanging off her bed with the phone to her ear. It was already turning dark, even though it was only mid-afternoon."

Don't Compliment That Girls Bathroom Mirror that Adds at Least Two Pounds!

Quinn's having a great Compliment Your Mirror Day, because no one flatters Quinn like...Quinn. This would be an especially bad time for Daria to have that funhouse nightmare, because it would be very difficult to compliment a horrific mutated version of yourself.

I just hope Quinn isn't too busy enjoying her own company to remember that today is also National Independent Beer Run Day and she has pressing duties as Keg Queen. First on the list is to figure out how a fourteen-year-old is going to be able to buy any amount of beer.

Daria will be happy to know that today is the anniversary of the birth of Franz Kafka in 1883. Not only did Daria have a poster of the writer in her room, but The Angst Guy wrote what is likely the only Kafka/Daria crossover, "I Never Metamorphosis I Didn't Like."

Fanfic Update!

• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 7): "Daria turned her legal pad face-down on Jane’s bed, flopping down fully onto it herself. 'Ugh. Nargh. Feh.'"


• But You're a Cheerleader, by Bolshevitch (part 1): "Daria knows being a good writer will bite her in the ass one day. She’s just hoping it’s a lot further down the line than Friday second period. In fact, it’s not."


• Graduation Ceremony, by Yuuuutong (COMPLETE!): "It’s on Jane’s university graduation ceremony. As an outstanding graduate, Jane headed towards the stage, a surge of strange feeling going down her spine, or maybe, that’s familiar."


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 87): "After that delightful night of happiness and fun at Anna's seventeenth birthday, Lockie Allyngard had departed and she had vanished into the shadows of Starlight Castle once again."


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "The third of the previous applicants entered the bookstore. 'Let’s see. Dani Moreno, a sophomore at Lawndale State,' Quinn said."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic Should Have: How did We survive?), by JohnnyJB (COMPLETE!): "Mr. O'Neill: Nice day for a swim, isn't it! Mr. Demartino: Sure it is, except the SHARKS! and the JELLYFISH! and let's not forget the STINGRAYS! the BARRACUDAS! the ANGLERFISH! the EELs! the KILLER WHALES! the WHALE SHARKS! and let's be glad there aren't PIRANHAS or FLESH EATING BACTERIA!"

99 Bottles of Jesse On the Wall, 99 Bottles of Jesse....

On one hand, Jesse's looking a little trapped on National Beer Day, because that's really not how the holiday is meant to be celebrated. On the other hand, he doesn't seem terribly bothered by it, so I guess we should just let him be.

I hope any beer-loving dads get to enjoy a nice cold one for Father’s Day, although I suspect Jake would prefer a martini. Or, depending on how the day has been going, a nice soothing glass of milk. Could someone else please warm it up for him, though?

Please, please, don't let Daria celebrate Smile Power Day. Given how creepy her smiles tend to be, I think she's completely right to only smile when she has a reason.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Brian Wilson.


• Discuss the Democratic lawmaker assassinated in Minnesota.

How Many Bottles Are On the Wall?

I see that Brittany is bringing out another round for National Beer Day, but I hope she reminds Kevin that he shouldn't smash beer mugs on his head like he does beer cans. I hope Quinn won't be upset that Brittany appears to have usurped her role as Keg Queen!

Then again, perhaps Quinn is busy with Helen, celebrating Motherhood and Beauty Day! As long as they stay far, far away from any runways they should be just fine.

On the subject of modeling, today is the anniversary of both "This Year's Model" in 1997 and "I Loathe a Parade" in 2000. Technically the latter didn't have actual modeling, but the Fashion Club was sure posing a lot on their float!

Fanfic Update!

• Devil Woman, by mystikexplosion (part 2): "Daria arrived at Jane’s house, finding a note on the door. It read 'Went for run. Be back soon. Door is unlocked.'"


• Homecoming, by davidfalkayn (part 20): "Immediately after rematerializing, Jake patted himself down, 'Is everything there? I’m not missing anything am I?'"


• Spider Quinn 08 The Three Misfits, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "It was early evening at Lawndale High. Principal Angela Li was working late. There was a knock at her door."

May I Compliment You on Your Beer and/or Peanut Butter?

Quinn is passing along some flattering comments to her very favorite person on Compliment Day, which for her is every day. As Daria once pointed out, it's very hard not to compliment her.

You could take the opportunity to compliment Kevin on his recycling skills in honor of Beer Can Appreciation Day, because it takes real skill to crush those cans on one's forehead. You could also compliment Ms. Barch's ex-husband on his beer can collection, but don't let Barch hear you say it!

For those of you who aren't interested in compliments or beer, there's always National Peanut Butter Day! Take a page from Trent's book and let some peanut brittle hijack your brain. Just don't sit on any sandwiches, unless you'd like to get up close and personal with a bee.

Fandom News!

• Don't forget to vote in the Daria Fanworks Awards for Written Works and Visual Works.


• Discuss past drama in Daria fandom.


• Share what you had for dinner.

Who Wants a Story About Beer?

I think Jesse is regretting his chosen method of celebrating American Beer Day. Of if he doesn't regret it yet, the hangover will definitely take care of it for him.

This is also National Tell a Story Day, and I sure hope Daria will favor us with one of her fairy tale retellings. She could go with the one where the witch eats Hansel and Gretel, but I much prefer the one where Cinderella becomes the first woman president. Ah, sweet fantasy.

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 30): "That was all that Daria needed to see so far in this nightmare."


• Doctor Who: Repeating Mistakes, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Janelle emerged from the TARDIS. She hoped that the rigours of the upcoming adventure would help her to forget the troubles she was running from."


• Song From An American Movie, by Lady Evil (part 1): "It was another day of therapy for Daria."


• When the Student Is Ready, The Teacher Will Come (Iron Chef: Daria and the Gang and Halloween), by Meester_Lee (COMPLETE!): "It started with an idea for a Melody Powers novel. Melody would be seconded by the US Justice Department to look into Mawdryn, an international master criminal posing as a wizard and help the Feds bring him to justice."


• The Youngest Barksdale (Iron Chef: Daria The Youngest Barksdale), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 3): "It wasn’t long before someone came over. 'Hi, Daria, is it?'"

Do Superhumans Drink Beer?

Looks like Jane has decided to go the spandex route for Superhuman Day, but in reality the holiday celebrates those with disabilities who have overcome challenges. Still, the outfit looks good on her!

Today is also National Beer Lovers Day, which Ms. Barch's ex-husband will probably celebrate. If we're (un)lucky, maybe Kevin will sing that song! You know the one I mean.

Fandom News!

• Share curious discoveries from YouTube.


• Discuss the new UK Prime Minister Liz Truss.

Do They Make Peanut Butter Flavored Beer?

Girls, this is not the recommended way to celebrate National Peanut Butter Day! Trent's got the right idea--let some peanut brittle hijack your brain! Of course, between the sandwich and the nut stand, I think Daria is pretty much over all nuts, forever. And I don't blame her.

Today is also Beer Can Appreciation Day, something that Ms. Barch's husband and Kevin Thompson can both get behind. I feel like those two would actually get along really well, come to think of it. And wouldn't that just make Ms. Barch furious?

Fanfic Update!

• Lawndale Lions fell Oakwood Taproots; Claim 1st Place in Division (T.E. Charlie's "Bargain Bin"), by Two-Eyed Charlie (COMPLETE!): "OAKWOOD - What's this? A spot atop the Senior Division 1 football standings, all alone, shaking in the cold? Looking for warm hands to hold it?"


• Tall like me, by ST91 (part 4): "Daria was standing in front of the classroom where the history lesson was taking place. She knew what was going to happen, it was inevitable."

Maybe Mr. D Needs a Beer?

I think Jesse needs to back off, even if today is Drink Beer Day. See, you're supposed to drink the beer, not let the beer drink you!

That said, after you've had enough beers you'll also be well-prepared for Ask a Stupid Question Day. Unfortunately for Mr. DeMartino, every day is Ask a Stupid Question Day.

Fandom News!

• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between RX-78-2 Gundam and Megatron.


• Do you know where to find Milo Minderbender's fanfics?


• What is Daria fanon and what are your personal headcanons?


• Follow the continuing misadventures of Florida Man.


• Join the discussion of welltemperedclavier's fan interview proposal.


• Could Trent Lane save the world?


• Erin M has a question for all former Judith Saga participants.

Once Upon a Body Count....

Daria is ready to tell some nice stories around the fire for Campfire Day, so won't you join her? I'm sure it'll be good wholesome fun right up until she gets to the part with the dismembering.

Because yesterday was International Beer Day, it only makes sense that today is International Hangover Day. Kevin, I'm sure, has been celebrating both. One wonders what the greeting cards are like!

Fandom News!

• The PPMB is still down. If you haven't already, check out the Lawndale-high Message Board.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Planet of the Apes and V.

Bottled Up

I think Jesse has taken National Beer Day much too far, but I guess he doesn't seem upset about it. I suspect Kevin's going to be celebrating this one, either by smashing cans on his head or singing all the way down from ninety-nine. Anyone else doubtful that he can count to ninety-nine at all, let alone backwards?

Today is also the anniversary for the episodes "This Year's Model" in 1997 and "I Loathe a Parade" in 2000. The Fashion Club got plenty of chances to pose in both, and Daria managed to torpedo their efforts both times. Everyone got to use their strengths!

Fanfic Update!

• And So The American Experiment Begins, by Lady Evil (part 5): "Helen went upstairs to get her daughters. 'Girls, both of the boys are here. Oh, Quinn, you look lovely! That hairdo is so cute!'"


• Common Ground (Linn's short stories (or ficlets, drabbles...)), by Linnofthewoods (part 3): "'I can't believe I'm doing this,' Daria spoke to Godzilla as she brushed her hair. 'I'm going into a movie theater full of little kids just so I can watch something I love way too much from my childhood.'"


• The Creation of Beauty, by Crow Jones (part 3): "Quinn looked in the mirror at the damage her sister did yesterday. Her cheek had completely healed from the initial slap that she had landed, that was good."


• Daria and Jane Discuss... Why the Morgendorffers Don't Celebrate Easter (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Closing Walls of Schloss Morgendorffer and Casa Lane), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "JANE: 'Hey Daria.' DARIA: 'What Jane?' JANE: 'You know that Easter is tomorrow and I was wondering...'"


• Daria on the Trail (Daria Landing In Another Fanfiction: An Experiment), by Meester_Lee (part 3): "Oh, boy, she thought. I’m definitely back in the Wild West era."


• A Kiss to Build a Scream On (General "Daria in Morrowind" Thread), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "Quinn Morgendorffer, first of her name (so far as she knew), finally had the world in her grasp."


• Too Sexy For Her Brain (The Carbones), by WildDogJJ (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Anderson are hastily throwing their clothes back on. Both of them visibly regret what they did the night before."

I Hear There are 99 Bottles on the Wall!

Upchuck has come prepared for National Beer Lover’s Day because he has the beer and he considers himself a lover. What everyone else thinks of him is another matter, but if he's offering free beer he probably won't get too many insults. Until he runs out of beer, that is.

Today is also the anniversary of ESPN, which launched on this day in 1979. I'm sure Kevin appreciates this one, because it means he has a backup if the Pigskin Channel ever goes down.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria Ravenclaw: The Year of the Owl, by Meester_Lee (parts 36 and 37): "Daria and the other First-year Ravenclaw girls in her dorm were out of the tower and waiting to catch the sleighs for the Hogsmeade station by 9:30." (Part 37)


• The Show Must Go Off, by Kristen Bealer (parts 2 and 3): "Rehearsals began the following week, and while most of the actors had begun to memorize their lines, the script itself was as unintelligible as ever." (Part 3)


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: The Closing Walls of Schloss Morgendorffer and Casa Lane), by WacoKid (COMPLETE!): "'Daria?' 'Yes, Trent?' 'We've been dating for a while now.' 'Is that what we've been doing?'"

Ruth Is Unimpressed By Your Decorating Skills

Hooray! It's Mother-In-Law Day! Helen's so happy, she's crying tears of joy. At least I think that's joy. Helen, put that bottle of wine down right now! It's American Beer Day, and if you're going to get wasted you'd better do it right!

Also, on this day in 1997, Daria appeared in Fortune Magazine. She's in a photo with a whole bunch of cartoons, and she sure looks as thrilled about it as you'd expect.

Fanfic Update!

• Back To Highland: A Daria/Worm Crossover, by Meester_Lee (part 3): "The C-130 reached the end of the runway, revved up, and then took off, banking as it presumably turned towards the direction of Texas. The military transport's interior was noisy, much noisier than the airliners Daria had flown in."


• Cancerous Like Me, by Lady Evil (part 5): "'I really wish Ariel went to school with us.' Link said to Allen over lunch at school. 'Then I could just run into her and talk to her about the party instead of having to make up some reason to meet somewhere.'"


• Daria's Great Adventure, by dmsfanman (part 31): "As a safety precaution Daria, Shamus, Anton, and Darren had brought with them 'rescue balls.' These were inflatable containers that could hold about two hours of air."


• Spare The Rod, Spoil The Quinn (Life After Thirty), by WildDogJJ (part 1): "Quinn and Stacy are having lunch at Pizza King. While the place is a teen hangout the thrity-something best friends still like to eat here for sentimental reasons."

Beer and Football! A Winning Combination!

I think Jesse's loving beer just a little too much for National Beer Lover's Day, but perhaps he's just trying to hide from the sound of Kevin singing that stupid 99 Bottles of Beer song yet again.

Speaking of Kevin's favorite things, today is also the fortieth anniversary of ESPN. Then again, Kevin might prefer the Pigskin Channel, since ESPN has a bad habit of broadcasting non-football sports on occasion.

Fandom News!

• Read and discuss an article about how the English language is taking over the planet.


• Meester_Lee wonders if anyone has written a Daria/Worm crossover.


• What do you think about San Francisco declaring the NRA a domestic terrorist organization?


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Olivia Benson and Dex Parios.


• Share your thoughts about Daria's art style.


• Check out Daria as a Funko Pop!

Ninety-Nine Bottles of BEER!

Brittany's right on time for International Beer Day! Where's Kevin? Well, he started celebrating hours ago and is already in the hangover stage. Quinn the Keg Queen will be swinging by later with some additional refreshments, though!

Speaking of doing things you'll regret, today is also the anniversary of the episode "Dye! Dye! My Darling" on this day in 2000. Daria was not drunk on beer or anything else when she kissed Tom behind Jane's back, but I'm sure she was tempted to drown her sorrows afterward.

Fandom News!

• neonhomer wonders about the creative process.


• mailorderannie and macross are looking for fanfics.


• Watch a video that explains why movie swords are always wrong.

Beer? Cool.

I think Jesse has (once again) gotten confused. See, today is Drink Beer Day, but Jesse has clearly allowed the beer to drink him. I feel like that's some kind of metaphor, but that might just be the beer talking.

Once you've celebrated Drink Beer Day enough, you'll be all ready for Ask a Stupid Question Day! Luckily for Kevin and Brittany, they can easily observe this one without the aid of alcohol. Mr. DeMartino might want some, though.

Fandom News!

• Who are the funniest, most inept villains in fiction?


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior poll between Colonial Viper vs. TIE Fighter.

Are There Ninety-Nine Bottles Of It On the Wall?

Looks like Brittany's been named Keg Queen this time, which means she's serving the drinks on International Beer Day. Either that or she's following in Ashley-Amber's footsteps as a St. Peter Girl beer model.

If you'd like something to go with your beer, today is also Grab Some Nuts Day so you should feel free to munch the nutty, nutty. I'm assuming--hoping--that the holiday refers to stuff like almonds and pecans, anyway.

Finally, today is the tenth anniversary of the episode "Write Where It Hurts," from 1998. In that episode, Daria struggled with writer's block. A struggle that many in the Daria fan community know all too well!

Fandom News!

• Talk about Alan Alda's Parkinson's Disease diagnosis.


• Keep up with the latest developments on the Wikileaks Twitter messages.


• Vote in the Deadliest Warrior polls between Aqua Teen Hunger Force and Carl and Team Venture and Leo the MGM Lion and Rocky the Lincoln-Mercury Cougar.