Don't Compliment That Girls Bathroom Mirror that Adds at Least Two Pounds!

Quinn's having a great Compliment Your Mirror Day, because no one flatters Quinn like...Quinn. This would be an especially bad time for Daria to have that funhouse nightmare, because it would be very difficult to compliment a horrific mutated version of yourself.

I just hope Quinn isn't too busy enjoying her own company to remember that today is also National Independent Beer Run Day and she has pressing duties as Keg Queen. First on the list is to figure out how a fourteen-year-old is going to be able to buy any amount of beer.

Daria will be happy to know that today is the anniversary of the birth of Franz Kafka in 1883. Not only did Daria have a poster of the writer in her room, but The Angst Guy wrote what is likely the only Kafka/Daria crossover, "I Never Metamorphosis I Didn't Like."

Fanfic Update!

• But You Always Knew the Truth, by riotsquirrrl (part 7): "Daria turned her legal pad face-down on Jane’s bed, flopping down fully onto it herself. 'Ugh. Nargh. Feh.'"


• But You're a Cheerleader, by Bolshevitch (part 1): "Daria knows being a good writer will bite her in the ass one day. She’s just hoping it’s a lot further down the line than Friday second period. In fact, it’s not."


• Graduation Ceremony, by Yuuuutong (COMPLETE!): "It’s on Jane’s university graduation ceremony. As an outstanding graduate, Jane headed towards the stage, a surge of strange feeling going down her spine, or maybe, that’s familiar."


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 87): "After that delightful night of happiness and fun at Anna's seventeenth birthday, Lockie Allyngard had departed and she had vanished into the shadows of Starlight Castle once again."


• Spider Quinn 17 Tempestuous Origin of Mysterio, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 6): "The third of the previous applicants entered the bookstore. 'Let’s see. Dani Moreno, a sophomore at Lawndale State,' Quinn said."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic Should Have: How did We survive?), by JohnnyJB (COMPLETE!): "Mr. O'Neill: Nice day for a swim, isn't it! Mr. Demartino: Sure it is, except the SHARKS! and the JELLYFISH! and let's not forget the STINGRAYS! the BARRACUDAS! the ANGLERFISH! the EELs! the KILLER WHALES! the WHALE SHARKS! and let's be glad there aren't PIRANHAS or FLESH EATING BACTERIA!"

The Mirror is Sentient! Get Out of the House!

Quinn has it backwards, I see. Today is Compliment Your Mirror Day, and not only is her mirror complimenting her, but the whole situation looks like a nightmarish abomination straight out of a horror movie. At least we know that no one will be complimenting that awful one in the girls bathroom that adds at least two pounds.

Today is also the anniversary of Franz Kafka's birth in 1883. I'm pretty sure The Angst Guy's "I Never Metamorphosis I Didn't Like" is the only Daria/Kafka crossover fanfic in existence, but I'd be happy to be corrected if there's another one that I don't know about.

Fandom News!

• Speculate on what the first Daria fanfiction might have been.


• What do you think is the reason for Daria's pessimism?


• Beavis and Butt-head are coming back! Talk about it here and here.


• Dervish wants to know how stats are gained about those who never talk.

Hooray.

The poster hanging above Daria's bedroom desk depicts author Franz Kafka, who would be 127 years old today if he hadn't died first. He is famous for his unique existential works that place human protagonists into bizarre and often unresolvable circumstances, such as in The Metamorphosis, in which Daria turns into a bug. And there was great rejoicing.

It was a year ago today that the future release of the Daria DVD set was finally announced. And there was great rejoicing.

PPMB

• Delete the Press, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "Representative Landon, is there any truth to the rumor that you're considering a run for Senate in the near future?" "I can safely say I'm not considering a run this year. As far as the future, it would be irresponsible of me to speculate. Right now, I'm focusing on doing the best job I can for my constituents." "So you're not ruling out a Senate run in 2012?" "As I said, it's far too early to rule anything in or out for 2012. I'm not thinking about the Senate at all. I'm thinking about the job I was elected to do in the House of Representatives." "But wouldn't it be a good time for you to run? After all, your profile has never been higher." "Are you talking about the DVDs from that stupid reality show I was forced to take part in as a teenager?"
• Daria/Dorian, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): A couple of minutes later, Kevin and Brittany walked in along with Jodie and Mack. Brittany looked over at him and waved. Jodie and Mack grinned as they sat down in front of Jane and Dorian. A few moments later, the bell rang. Mr. DeMartino closed the door and made his way to the front of his desk. "Class, we have a NEW STUDENT here today. Dorian Morgendorffer. Dorian, raise your right hand." Great... welcome to Lawndale Hell all over again. Dorian reluctantly raised his right hand. "Well, Dorian, as long as you have your hand raised. Before our break last week, we were discussing the Amendments of the US Constitution. Perhaps you think its UNFAIR to be asked a question on your first day of class." "Excuse me?" Deja vu. Dorian waited for the question. (FF.net)
  
• First Born, by RLobinske (Part 2): Hearing the warning, Jane slowed her minivan down to just below the speed limit to avoid unwanted attention. Not that the brightly colored van didn't attract attention with the large "Three Art Chicks" logo painted on each side. Except for her hair worn longer and in a single ponytail, she was little different from her college days. Even the mischievous glint remained in her blue eyes. "Just the radar detector," she said into the miniature headset fitted to her right ear. "Karen warned me about the small towns around here and I'm taking her at her word."
• Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (Part 13): "Hey," she said softly as she approached him. Sam merely smiled back—at least now he could recognize her. "So, where are we going?" "We are meeting at a Chinese restaurant on Massachusetts Avenue, near the campus. It is called Mary Chung's. I have eaten there before, the food there is very good. Do you like Chinese food?" "Yeah, I guess so." Daria sort of liked the stuff, but after that weird dream she had of meeting holidays and traveling to Holiday Island via the Good Times Chinese Restaurant, she had a few misgivings. "You'll have to tell me what to order, though."
• Sleepwalker, by Jim North (continued): As soon as she was sure all of her roommates were asleep, Brittany poked her head out the door and scanned the area with the eyes of a hawk. A nighthawk. That could see well at night. Confident that her movements would be unobserved, she slid out and locked the door behind her. With careful tip-toe steps and a continued alertness, she made her way to the corner of the building. Only a few doors separated her room and that corner, but her insistence on a high level of stealthiness made the journey stretch out over several minutes. She made not a sound, not a whisper, not a—
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Daria and Jane pregnant at the same time), by Minx (COMPLETE!): Daria set a weary gaze upon her family, the time had come. It was now or never. Oh how she wished never was a possibility. Unfortunately, time had run out she only had another three, maybe four weeks and it would be obvious. Daria inhaled deeply and turned to her bemused parents, "Mom, Dad..." her gaze dropped to the ground, unable to look them in the eyes, "I'm pregnant."
  

Time for the Dog Days... But Not for DVDaria!

The poodle that appeared on Sick, Sad World in the episode "I Loathe a Parade" now appears here to celebrate the beginning of the forty Dog Days of summer. Gave her a peppermint look to go with her shoes.

BREAKING NEWS!

Are all episodes of Daria coming out on DVD at last? It looks that way! It'll be in late 2010, however, and without the music, but we can't afford to be picky. Click on the following links for details. The screen capture at the bottom of this post is lookin' good!

• TV Shows on DVD
• DVDaria
• PPMB
• SFMB
  
• More breaking news here, from Kara Wild
  

Kafkaesque author Franz Kafka, beloved of Daria so much that she has his picture hanging in her room above her work desk, was born this day 126 years ago. Read The Metamorphosis!

An interesting digression on writing for money vs. writing fanfiction for free appears at Fortress CINCGREEN. It's worth your time to read.

A new Iron Chef is up at PPMB: Shemale Westerns with Space Porn Girls! Get your story started right away!

FF.net

• Commitment Issues, by Fringeperson (Part 5): Jane pulled Daria up short as they left school for the day. Trent’s car was parked out front, and Trent was standing beside it, arms crossed and probably looking cooler than he had for quite some time. Considering the number of teeny-boppers standing fifteen feet away, whispering and giggling and giving him furtive glances.
  

PPMB

• Apocalyptic Daria: Scarlett's Tale, by Doggieboy (Part 11): Scarlett lay in the darkened alcove and held the still warm light bulb to her chest. She struggled to control her breathing as her pursuers entered the house and began their search for her. (SFMB)
• Daylight: Falling from Grace: I Should Have Been Home Yesterday, by Disco316 (Part 9): As they made their way down Lakeview Drive, Quinn, Sandi, and Stacy kept their voices down, but they couldn’t help but talk amongst themselves. “Finally, one more corner and we’ll be there,” said Sandi. Stacy frowned at Sandi. “Keep on the lookout," she said. "My bad feeling about all this hasn’t gotten any better.”
• Hard Riders & Raw Hides, by TAG (COMPLETE!): Tedi and Tomi were working tables that dark, stormy night in the Slippery Saddlehorn Saloon, waiting for customers who never came... [a shemale Western with space porn girls!]
  
• Just Friends, by Pinkminx (Part 12 or 13 or something): Daria's face fell slightly and she mentally chastised herself for it. "Are you and Monique still together?" she asked, thankful that her tone had remained indifferent. Trent shot a crooked smile toward her. "Why, you want seconds?" He let out a soft laugh and coupled it with a stifled cough. (FF.net)
  
• Lawndale's Finest, Detective Stories 2: Daughters of the Demon, by NightGoblyn (Part 3): Elsie stood in the dorm hallway, the door to her room open in front of her, and stared in shock at what she was seeing. Her keys slipped through her numb fingers and thumped on the carpet, and Nat glanced up from the book she was reading. “Come in, close the door,” Nat said quietly. She closed the heavy, leather-bound volume she’d been reading and set it aside.
• One Shot, by Pinkminx (COMPLETE!): The lights of the emergency vehicles lit up the darkened street casting streams of blue and red into the night. The noise from the idling engines drifted through the open window and mixed itself with the hushed voices of the strangers that filled the cramped apartment. "Was the door open or locked?" the soothing masculine voice asked. (FF.net)
  
• Regifted, by Ajar (Part 7): “Look,” Marina said in as stern a voice as she could muster. “If you don't do this, nobody will know who you are. You have to have enough name recognition that people will pick you.” At this point she was flustered and sweating but still maintained her smile. “If go this alone and let things stay on the back burner Graham will win, and that's something that neither of us wants to happen.”
• See Me After Class, by Disco316 (Part 1): Ryan Mickelson stood at his locker putting his books into his backpack. From behind him, Michael “Mack” Mackenzie and Kevin “QB” Thompson approached. “Hey Ry-Guy!” said Kevin. “You ready to watch us cream Oakwood?”
  
• Tales of the Ringbearers: With New Responsibility, by Richard Lobinske (Part 5): The longer it will take to reach your goal, when impatience is the path you follow. The words of his old master reminded Richard of one of his oldest weaknesses as he ignited his light saber and the orange blade emerged. Just in time, he let go of direct conscious control and rolled his wrist in an arc to deflect a burst of ice crystals fired at him by Audrey. He extended the motion into a long, sideways jump to evade a telekinetic punch from Niles. Richard landed and dropped low, gesturing with his left hand to stop Don Javier's telekinetic grasp.
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Worse Possible Breakup Scenario), by Dennis (COMPLETE!): "I'm sorry. I just don't think the two of us should stick together anymore."
  
• Unnamed story (Scenes That Should Be: Brains for Rent), by NightGoblyn (COMPLETE!): "When I was a little girl, I used to think there were monsters in my closet. I'd cry, and my Mom and Dad would come in and tell me that everything was okay, that there were no such things as monsters."

I Never Metamorphosis I Didn't Like

Franz Kafka, whose poster hangs over Daria's desk in her Lawndale home (look near the center of the pic at left), was born on this date only 125 years ago. Kafka was the author of The Metamorphosis, a great work of literature that no one understands. You can debate amongst yourselves as to why Daria is so fond of Kafka. Perhaps she longs to be a giant cockroach, who knows. More likely she sees her life as Kafkaesque.

Today is also the traditional beginning of the Dog Days of summer, and it is the 46th birthday of a famous actor who drinks the blood of virgins, according to Daria and Jane, who ought to know since he hasn't gone looking for them.

In penguin-oriented news, on this sad tragic awful bad day only 164 years ago, the last pair of Great Auks were killed. Damn you, Mister Normal! Trent was right!

The latest DariaWiki entry: Damien. And . . .

OUTPOST DARIA HAS UPDATED! YEEE-HAAAW!!!
Thank you, Martin!!!

That's about it. Tomorrow is a special day central to a buttload of Daria fanfics. We (by which I mean me) will try to name most of them in a long list. Look for it. First, however:

FF.net

• Box to the Future, by Smileyfax (Part 4): "There's a weird guy in our box. He has tattoos and pierced ears—why does he have pierced ears?—and he smells funny." [I love this.]
• John Lane #35: Give Me a C! by Richard Lobinske (COMPLETE!)

PPMB

• The Lawndalian Candidate, by MMan (continued): "One thing I don't think you'll like, Daria," said Jodie. "Mandatory extracurricular activities."
• Stacy Rowe, Seeker (Part II), by jtranser (continued): "And they all laughed. Just like I did later when the trap door opened and Jamie, Jeffy, and Joey fell into the carcass processor as it started up."

SFMB

• Screw You, Mary Sue! by durgarox (continued): Fourth-wall violations, self-insertion, character revolts, and fanfic goodness.
  
• Size Does Matter, by BlackHole (Part 26): “Unless you want your own share of lesbian rumors, you’d better stay clear of me.” (Commentary on story is here.) (PPMB version here.)

Cheers!