99 Bottles of Jesse On the Wall, 99 Bottles of Jesse....

On one hand, Jesse's looking a little trapped on National Beer Day, because that's really not how the holiday is meant to be celebrated. On the other hand, he doesn't seem terribly bothered by it, so I guess we should just let him be.

I hope any beer-loving dads get to enjoy a nice cold one for Father’s Day, although I suspect Jake would prefer a martini. Or, depending on how the day has been going, a nice soothing glass of milk. Could someone else please warm it up for him, though?

Please, please, don't let Daria celebrate Smile Power Day. Given how creepy her smiles tend to be, I think she's completely right to only smile when she has a reason.

Fandom News!

• R.I.P., Brian Wilson.


• Discuss the Democratic lawmaker assassinated in Minnesota.

Please, PLEASE Go Back to Frowning!

Daria is serving up both cookies and terror on Share a Smile Day, and I think we're all relieved to know that she only smiles if she has a reason. Even if that reason is to scare any onlookers half to death.

I'll bet Amy is smiling, especially if she's making Helen insanely jealous with postcards on Plan a Solo Vacation Day. Of course, I'm sure Amy would be perfectly fine dropping the "solo" part if Ralph Fiennes offers to join her.

If a vacation is out of the question for you, then you could just take a short and sweet break for Peanut Butter Lovers' Day! Trent might let peanut brittle hijack his brain, or Daria might sit on another ancient sandwich.

Fanfic Update!

• It's the Spirit that Kills You, by SharksAndRec (part 1): "Ghostly attacks on the regular were still not enough to stomp out the march of students through the hallowed and haunted halls of Casper High, and one pair of faux-leather boots were stomping out a particularly determined rhythm."


• The Kiss That Entirely Shattered Daria Morgendorffer's Worldview, by janendaria4life (COMPLETE!): "She kissed him. She, Daria Morgendorffer, had her lips planted onto that damn moron."

Please, Go Back to Scowling!

Daria really needs to stop celebrating World Smile Day because she's starting to freak me out. Supposedly she doesn't like to smile unless she has a reason, but apparently being super creepy to all observers is reason enough.

It should put a smile on Jake's face to learn that today is National Golf Lovers Day, so I hope he gets the chance to break out his clubs and play his favorite game. I think one of my favorite Jake moments is at the end of "I Don't," when it turns out that he left all of the chaos behind to play golf at the country club. Good for him!

I don't think anyone will be smiling for Kids Music Day, at least not if we have to listen to Tad and Tricia Gupty's awful records. Jane will most likely refuse to sing that song about John Jacob Jingleheimer somebody but would be happy to perform "Old McDonald" for us. Don't even ask Daria about "Pop Goes the Weasel," though.

Fanfic Update!

• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 43): "What Quinn Morgendorffer discovered that day had been so shocking, so terrible and painful that she had cried and howled all over the house, just trying to be noticed by her parents and yet remaining all ethereal and invisible as the ghost that she had become."

Why is a QB Like a Writing-desk?

Looks like Kevin is about to recite some utter nonsense for Mad Hatter Day, but that's nothing new for him. Just ask Mr. DeMartino. The outfit is a bit unusual, though, if only because he doesn't appear to have crammed his shoulder pads into it.

The Cheshire Cat might be interested to know that it's also World Smile Day, but please don't tell Daria. No one wants to see that creepy smile, even if she's bearing cookies.

Finally, Trent should fix himself a nice plate of spaghetti for National Noodle Day! It is his favorite, after all...or was that fettuccini bolognese? Either way, he'd better eat it before it oxidizes.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria: Cynic the Superheroine, by Meester_Lee (part 4): "Daria’s cellphone continued buzzing inside her handbag. It was probably Denise wondering where the hell she was, she thought."


• Her Last Words, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 73): "The trees of Susquehannock Forest were still all lively and green the last time that Anna had seen her beloved Feli Lake, and yet this time, as she ventured to that place in her dreams once again, everything about the trees was just beautiful red, yellow and orange."


• Star Trek: Voyager: Horrors of the Delta Quadrant, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "'So, they do want Voyager to take them to a planet?' Janeway asked. 'Yes, any M class planet where there aren’t any Kazon,' Chakotay answered."

I've Never Seen a Parrot Smile, Though

Penny's spending some quality time with Chiquito for World Parrot Day, but I don't think anyone else should try it. As Penny will remind you, "he's very possessive."

Please don't tell Daria that it's National Smile Day. First of all, she only likes to smile if she has a reason, and second...I've seen her smile. And it is creepy.

Fanfic Update!

• Circle of Strife, by wilddogjj (parts 1 - 4): "Quinn was in the home office having an unpleasant conversation over the phone." (Part 3) (Part 4)


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Legend of Sporting Joe, by meester_lee (part 16): "If Julia had had an eventful Sunday, by contrast Daria’s was relatively peaceful. Unlike Jake, Helen was relatively irreligious, so everyone slept in instead of going to church."


• Sandi’s Struggle, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "Sandi Griffin was annoyed. She still had Laryngitis. And yet her mother was insistent on her going to school."

Remember to Smile While You Sing!

Daria needs to stop celebrating World Smile Day right now. Please. Just stop smiling before we all freak out completely.

Today is also Kids Music Day, so everyone sing with me: "I am cool and that is it, and everyone else is full of, full of, full of...."

Fanfic Update!

• Another Pie, by ywhiterain (COMPLETE!): "'All I'm saying,' Tom said, 'is I'm just not sure what king of self respecting dictator would take over Lawndale of all the places in the entire world.'"


• Cafés are Most Romantic on Wednesdays, by radiofox (COMPLETE!): "Tiffany looked in her mirror, eyes with a slight shimmer and slight smile as she applied her favourite lip gloss. After dating Terry for 8 months she had finally decided to stick up for herself."


• Crystal Claw, by Sheila Wisz Ellayn (part 24): "It was a sad and gloomy afternoon after all the classes had ended that late October day at Lawndale High, the gardens and trees everywhere in campus were now lashed by snowy wind coming from the mountains and the weather would soon be quite below the freezing point."


• Daria Ravenclaw: The Legend of Sporting Joe, by Meester_Lee (part 6): "Daria’s eyes widened as she watched Mrs. Flores’ coffee stirring itself."


• Illness of the Cynic Chick, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "It may be said that a massive change of events may start by something which would otherwise be insignificant changing. For instance; Brittany Taylor upon being invited to the Zon, Zone or Zen Nightclub by a boy named Terry, or Jerry, deciding to ask her stepmother for help dying her hair instead of doing it herself."


• Resident of the United States (Daria and the Gang Thread II), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Bluntly put, when Daria Morgendorffer ran for president - if you could call it that - no one paid much attention."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by wacokid (COMPLETE!): "'What's wrong?' Daria asked. 'I'm not sure,' Jane replied as the two sat waiting for class to start. 'Something's off today. But I just can't put my finger on it.'"


• Why Daria No Longer Listens to Marilyn Manson (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have), by SPEEDCOREIDOLATER (COMPLETE!): "'I’m not gonna go through this again.' Jane groaned, rubbing her temples and mussing up her hair. 'In the first four tracks, he’s The Worm and all he cares about is fitting in, right? But after -"

No, Not THAT Smile!

It's Share a Smile Day and Daria is sharing her best--or rather worst--smile with us. All I can say is that I'm glad we never had to see that smile in the regular series because...oof.

Today is also Plan a Solo Vacation Day, and the idea makes the introvert in me want to share a smile. I'm sure Amy is already planning this one, as well as all of the ways she'll make sure to rub Helen's nose in it.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria: Spin The Bottle, by Meester_Lee (parts 6 and 7): "Daria awoke feeling tired and irritable. It was one thing to have her hormones awaken: she liked that. It was something else to realize that she still had a lot of garbage from her past that she needed to sort out. That wasn’t so good." (Part 7)


• Lawndale Homecoming, by LadySparrow (parts 4 and 5): "The next morning, Daria was awakened in her bed by Helen’s muffled shouting. She looked at her alarm clock. 9:30 am." (Part 5)


• Made in America, by ladyevil (part 10): "Daria felt her breath quicken. She felt hot and cold at the same time. She felt her stomach churn violently. She hid behind one of the giant stuffed toys and started rubbing her left wrist, feeling only a little bad at ruining Jane’s paintjob."

I Mean, We Already Knew She Was an Airhead

Brittany has found an unusual way to celebrate Global Wind Day, and I'm not even going to mention the suspicious window placement in that image. No, not me. I'm way too classy for that!

If wind power isn't your thing, then how about Smile Power Day? Not you, Daria. That thing is freaking terrifying.

Fanfic Update!

• Burned Out, by Wrabbit7 (part 22): "Daria ran a hand through her hair and sighed as she regarded the mess of lyrics on the notebook paper. She started to crumple up the paper, but remembered that she wasn't at home, and stopped herself."


• Danny Morgendorffer, by ST91 (part 44): "This was the third weekend since the Morgendorffer family had moved to Lawndale. However, it was the first in which Daniel did not have to help his father fix the house, or prevent his mother and grandmother from killing each other."


• Is It Show Time Yet?, by Lady Evil (part 6 and 7): "Jane went towards the auditorium after school. Daria told her Clarissa had something to tell her and that one Dr. Becky would also be there." (Part 7)

Don't Ask What She Put in the Cookies

Daria's baked some supposedly "heart-shaped" cookies for National Cookie Day, but I don't think I'm willing to eat anything given to me by someone smiling that creepily. Seriously, she just needs to not smile like that. Ever.

Speaking of not smiling, the Fashion Club will not be happy to learn that today is also Wear Brown Shoes Day, because no one tells them what shoes to wear. What if brown doesn't go with their outfit? What if the brown shoes have too much heel or not enough? What if they're (gasp) comfortable?!

Fandom News!

• Pay your respects at the death of actor Jim Nabors.


• Speculate about what would happen if "whoever" ran for president.


• Talk about the upcoming live Scooby Doo film.

No Cookie is Worth THAT!

Okay, Daria, we get it. It's Smile Power Day. Now please, for all of our sakes, tone it down a few notches! You're freaking us all out here.

Today is also Global Wind Day and, fortunately, it's referring to the energy source and not Jane's oldest brother. I think the idea of multiple Wind Lanes all over the world is even more disturbing than Daria's smile.

Finally, on this day sixteen years ago, something significant happened in Angelinhel's story "61501." I'm not going to spoil it by telling you what it is, though!

Fandom News!

• The PPMB admins are working on the word censor glitch.


• Share the latest news about the high rise apartment building fire in London.


• Discuss the congressional baseball practice shooting.


• Share actual pieces of advice that you gave or were given when you were young.


• WacoKid posted two new Iron Chefs in Creative Writing: Jane's Magic Hat o' Romantic Destiny and Cashing In.

Okay, Please Go Back to Frowning!

I think Daria's taking World Smile Day a little too far, but I'm afraid to tell her to tone it down. You go ahead; I'll wait a safe distance away.

Good grief! Today is also the 65th anniversary of the Peanuts comic strip, beloved by many and inspiration for Petrel/CINCGREEN's fanfics "New Kids in Town" and "New Kids in Town II: 'Batting Practice'."

Fandom News!

• Listen to ognawk and Princess_Pasta's latest Lawndale Lowdown podcast!


• MartinUK wonders which phone you would choose? Vote in the poll to help him decide.


• Discuss the third season of Agents of Shield.

Have Some Heart-Shaped Cookies!

It's World Smile Day, so give us your biggest smile! Um, not you, Daria. Please stop. Seriously, it's getting creepy.

Quinn is also celebrating Techies Day by actually acknowledging the existence of computer geeks. But only the "cuter technical types" and not the "really enthusiastic" ones. She still has standards.

Fanfic Update!

• Action Stories #5: When it Rains, it Pours, by NightGoblyn (part 1): "Jane turned and jerked the door open, causing the person standing on the other side to recoil slightly in shock. It was hard to tell in the early morning gloom, but she was pretty sure the visitor was a girl."


• All the things she said, by 39medalla (prologue): "The last time I saw her was 7 years ago, it was the last time I had about it was the last time you told her how much he loved her." (Spanish version)


• ASPS 3, by PrecambrianStudios (part 2): "He turned back to Dmitri, arms crossed over his chest, giving him a look one might give a cockroach. 'We've never met, but I know who you are. You're Dmitri Borya Vagin. Former leader of the Mafia, a position you held for two years. Now the laughingstock of Fielding's gay community.' He stared off into space, as if reconsidering. 'Actually,' he said, 'the community in general.'"


• A brief moment in the life of Cassie Morgendorffer, by SpookyZalost (part 1): "Cassie was relaxing on her bed enjoying the last days of summer, her birthday was coming up in august and she had finished high school a year early thanks to her aunt's help."


• Dysmorphosis (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "She stared into the mirror. Her reflection stared back."


• Lawndale and Sandi Griffin's Genie: Future Excerpt 1, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Danielle couldn't sleep. 'I may as well go and look for that emerald again,' she thought. She got dressed and left the house. 'Hopefully, I will be able to find the emerald soon, and also get help from trustworthy people,' she thought."


• Lawndale's Finest: Detective Stories #6, by LSauchelli (part 4): "Of course it had been true. A ghost had been teaching her martial arts and the way of life for the better part of a year. A ghost had showed her the way to become Just. It had not seemed so strange after she realized this."


• A Little Too Real, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "As she waited, Daria though about how the three of them had joined the Agency during the Worldburner Crisis. Frightened to be pulled into a world of multiple realities and threats that could consume them, Daria had agreed to help and in the end, all three had joined. Almost four years later, they were now a seasoned field team."


• Night Witches, by Panzerfaust 150 (part 6): "Major General Alexandr Leontev, Soviet Army, was a very angry man."


• Psychiatric Devaluation, by DarkDranzer (COMPLETE!): "He cackled to himself, giddy that soon he'll be fulfilling one of his life's dreams since working there and giving Ms. Li the finger. He placed the key in the ignition and turned expecting the car to stall for a bit before he could peel away. But something was wrong..."


• Slow Tango in Lawndale, by Snow-Kitty (part 1): "Jane sat staring into the glowing and crackling fireplace, contemplating the somewhat magical evening she had shared with whom she had thought to be the most interesting man she had ever met."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Billionaire Daria), by Szcz (COMPLETE!): "Daria stood at the corner of the big dining room. As everyday, the contact lenses had been uncomfortable, so she had taken them out. She did not want to wear glasses, because she disliked looking too intellectual. Hence all the things around her, including human faces, were blurry."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: No longer in the 1%), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'I think, dear, that this is some sort of abuse of power. Or position.' This from Marie, looking with mild distaste at the scene unfolding before her."


• Up In Smoke, by Princess_Pasta (parts 2 and 3): "Quinn watched silently as she walked into her office and shut the door. I know that I'm right. I know this stuff. Quinn swallowed down her anger and made her way back to her desk. She'd have her moment. She would make sure of it." (Part 3)

She Doesn't Like to Smile Unless She Has a Reason, Or Unless it's Really, Really Disturbing

Happy Smile Power Day, everyone! Let out your biggest grin and...um, Daria? Could you maybe tone it down a bit? Please?

If Daria's smile actually had a superpower, what do you suppose it would be? Mind control (because you'd do anything she asked just to make her stop)? Telekinesis (because people seem to levitate out of their chairs to get away)? Just all around creepiness ('nuff said)?

Fandom News!

• DIsaac shares some disturbing news about the XBOX One.


• What's on your final list? Talk about what you'd like to be buried with.


• What do you think about the Harry Potter series? SacredDust is looking for opinions.


• Join in PrecambrianStudios's joke thread!


• Diwzy is looking for recommendations on fanfics with specific topics.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: DIsaac's The Swerve and Roentgen's The Lax Broverse thread.


• Smijey invites you to recreate Daria in video games!

"I don't like to smile unless I have a reason."

Hey, it's Smile Power Day! Observe the holiday by giving everybody a great big smile! Uh, not you, Daria. You're automatically exempt. Please stop smiling now.

Also, happy birthday to Bif Naked, who was born on this day in 1971. The singer, as most of us probably already know, voiced the character Alison from Is It Fall Yet?


Fandom News!

• A bacon sundae? Post your thoughts about the new...item...in the thread.


• The UK Channel VIVA is showing reruns of Daria!


• DocForbin is trying to find an old comedy sketch. Can you help?


• Join the discussion about the upcoming reboot of Dallas.


• Talk about the new TV show Head Games in the thread.


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in the Creative Writing forum: Shiva's Ronnie, the Guy that told Quinn No and Ms. Kinnikufan's Jake/Mr. Demartino/Mr. O'Neil Roadtrip.

"I don't like to smile unless I have a reason."

Today is World Smile Day! Even Daria is getting into the spirit, although I think I'd rather she didn't. Brrrr.

On a more serious note, Yom Kippur begins today at sundown. To those in fandom who observe the day, may you have an easy fast.

Fandom News!

• Would Daria appreciate this birthday gift? Well, who wouldn't?


• Fans discuss the works of Edgar Allan Poe on the anniversary of his death.


• Roentgen asks, "What would you do if a stranger propositioned you?"


• Check out this deluxe Daria costume!


• Lots of new TV discussion in the Weapons of Mass Distraction forum: New Season of Arrested Development!, Ken Burns' "Prohibition," and New Batman Cartoon to be titled "Beware the Batman" 2013.


• Talk about the variety of fanfics that make up the Daria multiverse in the thread.


• Charles RB posted a new Iron Chef: Twilight Zone Daria.


• Stripey calls for all artists to post in the non-Daria artworks thread.


• New discussions in the Golden Oldies forum: Daria the Movie/Daria 2: The Curse of the Misery Chick, The Forgotten Ones - Yui Daoren, Steven Galloway: The DF Continuum, and MasterRecipient: "My Imperial Donuts."

Moar Gud Gnuz!

Kara Wild continues to update the DVDaria situation for this lucky fandom, and it looks like we are about to receive an extraordinary treat next year. Now we've really got something to smile about! (More updates here.)

Good thing, too, because I was running out of acorns to sacrifice to the Great Bright-Eyed and Bushy-Tailed One.

The quarter million fans at the Facebook site are talking. Reactions are coming in from the Television Without Pity message board, too.

Think maybe we can drop some hints about repairing the broken links to flipbooks on the official MTV Daria website? We would dearly love to see them!

XTER GUD GNUZ

• Jim North has opened up a new shared Dariaverse for fanfic writers! Go to it!

Why Is Daria Smiling?

CINCGREEN needs beta-readers for part 3 of "Reclamation"! Go to this link and sign up now!







[This space reserved for later news, if any.]

[Oh, never mind.]