How Many Bottles Are On the Wall?

I see that Brittany is bringing out another round for National Beer Day, but I hope she reminds Kevin that he shouldn't smash beer mugs on his head like he does beer cans. I hope Quinn won't be upset that Brittany appears to have usurped her role as Keg Queen!

Then again, perhaps Quinn is busy with Helen, celebrating Motherhood and Beauty Day! As long as they stay far, far away from any runways they should be just fine.

On the subject of modeling, today is the anniversary of both "This Year's Model" in 1997 and "I Loathe a Parade" in 2000. Technically the latter didn't have actual modeling, but the Fashion Club was sure posing a lot on their float!

Fanfic Update!

• Devil Woman, by mystikexplosion (part 2): "Daria arrived at Jane’s house, finding a note on the door. It read 'Went for run. Be back soon. Door is unlocked.'"


• Homecoming, by davidfalkayn (part 20): "Immediately after rematerializing, Jake patted himself down, 'Is everything there? I’m not missing anything am I?'"


• Spider Quinn 08 The Three Misfits, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "It was early evening at Lawndale High. Principal Angela Li was working late. There was a knock at her door."

An Octomom, She Isn't

Nine years ago today, TV Guide published an "interview" with Daria Morgendorffer that covered the then-upcoming movie Is It Fall Yet? and her life in general. One question she was asked, and her response, are worth noting.

• Q: Do your career goals include working with children?
• A: Well, I don't plan to pursue "trapped in a living hell" as a career, so no.

Daria has expressed feelings like this before, and it is interesting that her parents have even come close to saying the same for themselves, in responding to a long-ago question from a viewer.

Given her parents' comments, it seems likely Daria will eventually (reluctantly?) have one or two kids. Or she might not, and just opt for favorite aunt status with Quinn's kids. It is interesting that in "Lane Miserables," she imagined a future in which she and Trent had one child. This was about a year of Dariaverse time after she imagined herself childless and married in "Write Where It Hurts."

Also on this day, just three years ago, astronomers finally figured out what a planet is, but then they forgot to include Pluto. Dwarf planet, indeed [shakes fist at sky]. SOCIALISM IS TO BLAME! However, there is a movement afoot to fix this horrible injustice.

One hundred and ten years ago was born a man with a passion for books and writing (no doubt a role model for Daria). Jorge Luis Borges is acclaimed for his fantastic works, and something of him has even crossed over into Daria fanfiction. Scissors MacGillicutty's unfinished "In Dreams" has Daria and Jane discover Borges' Library of Babel in the Morgendorffer family's attic. (You may read what Borges said about the Library here.)

Enjoy the day. Oh, and if you are looking for a new Iron Chef, Lorenzo Sauchelli presents: Daria's Little Helper.

PPMB

• John Lane 42: Legally Halloween, by Richard Lobinske (Part 1): "Okay, you win. We'll go to Brittany's party. But to warn you, there's as much chance of me wearing an Emma Peel catsuit as there is of you wearing one."
• The Runaway, by Aloysius (Part 1): Pete shook his head and smiled as he watched the boys move off. Therefore, he didn’t see a pajama-clad brunette climb into the back of his trailer and hide amongst the boxes.
• Scarlett the Fairy, by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): This is a story about Scarlett the Fairy, and her quest to get her favorite food by far: muffins. Scarlett, you see, is a fourteen-inch tall fairy, with straight red hair that extends to her shoulders in somewhat helmet-shaped haircut. The hair, many times, covers at least one of her eyes and she’s been known to give people and other fairies (as well as other imaginary creatures) a cryptic smile.
• Wristcutters: A Daria Story, by Charliefox2012 (Parts 1 to 3): The awesome fanfic from FF.net makes its way to PPMB. Read and enjoy.

Yo, Mom! It's Your Day!

No one has yet written a great Mothers Day story making use of the alter ego at left. Alas.

Happy Mothers Day to one and all. More news to come, have to do Mothers Day stuff here, hope you understand. Remember Helen Morgendorffer's great moment as a mom? What a gal.

What was your favorite Daria fanfic about motherhood? Name the best in Comments and share with everyone.

A possible route for Daria releases? Maybe, maybe not.

On A Related Note

Since mammaries are also associated with motherhood (and thus provide a great reason for boob jokes), we can also look at fanfiction that includes Daria as a mother or stories that examine various indentities of her actual mother. I've used the subject in several of my stories, such as "A Mother's Love" (which explains today's graphic), "Accidental Future", "Daria Von Doom" and "Generation Gap".

Other stories include TAG's "Pause in the Air", NightGoblyn's "Heather/Damsel Chronicles", and of course, Greystar's "The Longest Year".

There are plenty of others out there, let's hear from you what your favorites happen to be.

Mother's Day +100 and Goin' Strong!

I can't shoot my own mother. Not with paint, anyway.

—Daria Morgendorffer, "The Daria Hunter"


Yes, Daria's fond thoughts lead us into this happy weekend celebrating the joy that is Mom. Though tomorrow is the official time of Mother's Day, today is the actual 100th anniversary of the first real Mother's Day in the U.S., which was celebrated in Grafton, West Virginia.

Did you ever wonder what kind of teenager named Mother's Day goes to Holiday Island High School? I have. She's a pissed-off sarcastic pregnant teen (think Juno) whose jobless boyfriend, Father's Day, drinks a lot and sees other girls. If you have a different vision, post it in the comments below.

IT'S TIME FOR NEWS!

Now for some news and cultural references. While surf-skimming the interwide cyberblog webnet, I discovered an amusing editorial making reference to Our Heroine (not Jane, the other OH) on the student website for Vanderbilt University. You might like to read, "TOP TEN: Most Awesomely Bad Cartoons of Our Youth" and travel down Memory Lame a moment. Ah, the vast TV wasteland, you gotta love it. Too bad they didn't list Q-bert, but that was from the '80s.

You might also wish to read a student editorial on the state of MTV today from the website of The Roanoke Times. Where have those good days gone? (Maybe I shouldn't talk, since I missed Daria almost entirely when it was on.) See also an editorial on wrestling (no, seriously) on 411mania.com, a website about pop culture; you may have to search for "Daria" to find the reference, but it hits home. Where is that bright and shining light that was Daria? Oh, well.

The best is last. If you're into irony (and we all are, I know), read the opening lines of this entry from MTV's Movies Blog. Forget that it's about Speed Racer (barf!); just look for . . . well, you'll know it when you see it. Made me smile. Maybe she's out there in a spiritual out-of-body sense, making sure no one at MTV forgets her. Gotta love it.

Daria and the Second Oldest Profession

What would Daria be like as a parent? A number of fanfics have explored this idea, and there are hints about this future in the TV series. Amy Barksdale, widely seen as a possible adult Daria, leads a child-free, spouse-free life and is content with that. When Quinn tries to get Daria to babysit in "Pinch Sitter," Daria replies, "Forget it. I don't like kids. I didn't even like kids when I was a kid." When Daria writes out her vision of the future in "Write Where It Hurts," her story includes a scene in which her mother asks, "Has there been any further discussion about expanding your little family?" "Mom," Future Daria replies, "you know I'm not ready for kids. The whole idea makes me uneasy and I'm not sure why." At this point Future Quinn appears with her loudly argumentative children and Future Daria adds, "Oh yeah, now I remember."

The sharpest and most negative view of Daria as a parent was voiced by Daria's best friend, Jane, in Is It Fall Yet? When Daria describes her inability to reach out to a young boy at camp, Jane asks, "This Link situation really bothers you, huh?" "Serves me right for breaking my cardinal rule and trying to reach out to a lost soul," Daria glumly responds, to which Jane says, "Any kid who looks to you for nurturing is more than just lost." Ouch. Maybe Jane was giving Daria a shot back over the Tom thing, but as Jane adds a moment later, "I call 'em like I see 'em."

Despite Daria's remark about her "cardinal rule," it is true that, as was pointed out on PPMB by legendeld, "Canon Daria has a weak spot for anything helpless." She offers help and advice to Tad and Tricia, Brittany, Link, her sister, and a broad array of others. Though hostile and sarcastic toward authority figures, often playing them for fools, she does have a nurturing nature buried under that scowl. One might say even Amy has this, as she takes the much put-upon Daria out for cheese fries and bonding in "I Don't." Daria does good deeds even if she professes not to, but this doesn't automatically mean she would be a good parent.

Would she make a good mother, given her teenage view on the subject? Or should she follow her Aunt Amy's path and avoid the patter of little feet?