Don't Cry for Me...or the Bomb-Sniffing Dogs!

On this day in 1919, Eva Perón was born. Also referred to as "Evita," she was a controversial figure as First Lady of Argentina from 1946 until her death 1952. Many people also know a (not-so-historical) version of her story from the musical Evita, written by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice.

Angela Li is doing her impression of Perón on the left, and I think we would all prefer that she not start singing.

Today is also Astronomy Day, so get out there and check out the stars and planets. Ms. Barch has this recommendation, too:

Ms. Barch: Class, our planetarium trip has been canceled due to lack of funds, so your assignment tonight is to locate Orion the Hunter in the sky, then write an essay on why you think he needs to carry a weapon to feel like a man.

--episode 501, Fizz Ed

Today's discussion question: Should Pluto be considered a planet or not? Discuss.

Demoted to a Lowly Snowball! O, the Inhumanity!

Yes, it was only four years ago this very day that an international body of astrologers astronomers voted to strip poor pathetic Pluto of its hard-earned certificate of planet-tude and demote it to a flavorless Slushie! What an outrage! And now it's not even the biggest Slushie out there!

What this has to do with Daria, I have no idea. It just showed up on my calendar. I'll try to have something more interesting tomorrow.

KNEWZ!

• Charles RB has discovered a new online essay in response to one on The Paris Review's blog asking, "Where Are the Darias?" The new essay is on TVSquad.com and is called, "In Search of 'Daria': Where Have All the Snarky TV Teens Gone?" (It gives some good answers!)
• A.J. reports another online essay on the seven laziest TV characters ever... but one of them does NOT deserve to be on the list!
• Hazazel wants to know, are there any characters in Daria or Beavis and Butt-head who could turn out to be Jake Morgendorffer's offspring? Not with Helen, of course.
• Trent is the new Goblin King, in Technicolor! Thank you, Breitasparrow! Most excellent.
• Interested in the #Daria chat room? Read all about it.
• The thread on the Midwest Dariacon 2010 now has pictures! Good ones!
• A thread is running about Daria co-creator Susie Lynn Lewis.
• Beavis and Butt-Head: could they have become... government officials?
• Charles RB has a creative thread for Scenes We'd Like To See.
• Greystar has introduced an intriguing Iron Chef: Let's Not & Say We Did. All explained at the link. Kinky!
• Why does Mack hang around Daria? Charles RB's thread has taken on legs.
  

FF.net

• Trust, by JohnnyStyle (COMPLETE!): The teenage brunette girl turned the collar around in her hands. Her eyes glistened with the tears she could not hold back. She could not believe her beloved pet, the only creature she trusted, was gone. "It was just a cat, Sandi," Linda Griffin told her daughter. "Get over it." "You just don't get it, Mother," the teenager said coldly as she carried the collar back to her own room.

PPMB

• Finn Morgendorffer 56: A Journey to Eternity, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 7): Everything was laid out for Henry to come over that evening. The pastries were set out, the espresso machine was ready to go. All that was missing was the guest of honor, but Helen knew she set things up so early. Kids could be notorious at being tardy. Daria was seated and waiting for him, and Helen would not allow her to move from the living room until Henry showed up. Jake was trying to figure out the espresso machine in the kitchen, and Daria hoped he was at least somewhat presentable. Finn was upstairs in his room. He promised to do a meet-and-greet when Henry was here, but he didn’t need to stick around for the whole thing. Daria would be glad that he did: Finn would take the opportunity to embarrass her. Whether he actually did or not was something else, but he would attempt it, Daria was quite certain of that.
  

• Jane Morgendorffer, by LadieT (Parts 3 and 4): "The boy is thirteen years old, Helen. How could they expect him to take care of himself, much less her?" "Calm down, Jake, I know. I'm going to have to call social services in the morning and report it." "What will happen to them if you do that, Helen?" "They'll be put into foster care. I doubt they would even be kept together. With their advanced ages, the chances of them getting adopted are almost nil." "There has to be a better solution, Helen." (Part 4)
  
• Moving Pictures V, by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): Winter comes to Chevy Chase. A thin dusting of snow upon street and yard alike. Wreaths dangle from windows. Lights hang upon house fronts. Amy, in a black winter coat and matching woolen cap, stands on the sidewalk in front of a large, gated house. Her cheeks are pink from the cold. She clutches a battered microphone in a gloved hand. "Christmas," she intones dramatically. "To some wise men, it's the most wonderful time of the year. But is that really true? Are kids really jingle-belling? Is everybody truly telling us to be of good cheer? Hi. I'm Amy Barksdale. Join me for this year's Freaks, Creeps, and Phantasms Christmas special, as I take to the streets to uncover the secret meanings and terrible truths of this most jolly of holidays."
  

• Old Habits Die Hard, by LSauchelli (COMPLETE!): Daria allowed herself a smile as she pushed the elevator button just before she got out of it. She raised her newly acquired weapon and dragged her feet to the stairs. It was going to be a long night. (Daria/Die Hard)
• Senior Year, by Getrealordie187 (COMPLETE!): It became easy to pretend she and Charles were having sex....
  
• Unnamed story (Crossovers Still Crossing Over), by Wormbait (COMPLETE!): Jane sat thinking of what the future might hold. With the arrival of Daria in Lawndale, Jane had discovered a reason to care about life and her future, and with Daria's help Jane's grades had rapidly improved to a point where she now had the FBI academy set firmly in her sights. Daria on the other hand had found herself enjoying teaching Jane and was looking at a profession in that field. Except now Jane wondered if she would get that chance... They had been on a "driving to get out of Lawndale for a while" trip and found themselves out in the middle of the dessert when the UFO had found them, or more specifically, found Daria.... (Daria/The Greatest American Hero)
• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): The battle was going badly against Quinn. Finally, Daria declared: "That does it! I'll have to use my strongest Pokemon: Hewhosmeltitdealtit!"

• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): Lt. Daria Morgendorffer collapsed in a bleeding heap, staring at the red-cloaked, cat-suited figure in stunned horror. "DELPHI Pacific Command down! Dozens dead! A whole city on fire! Why?! WHO ARE YOU?!"
  
• Wed, by OverlordMikey (COMPLETE!): Eric and Marianne stood together at an altar. They spoke in unison of their love and commitment to one another. It had been only four months since Eric realized he was in love with the secretary of his original secret object of lust, Helen, but that was not true love and Helen was married. Those feelings where not pure, these feelings were. He found himself engrossed with every quirk she had. He found himself loving her kids as if they were his own. He even found out that Marianne loved dogs and fishing like he did. But he was really certain of his love when Marianne went out of her way to be there during his bout with depression that led to his addiction to amphetamines. Now she stood before him in a flowing wedding gown looking more beautiful than anyone in the world could possibly look. "If anyone one here objects to this union speak now..."
  
• A Work in Progress, Subject to Revision: "May I ask you some questions, please..." by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "Thanks for seeing me, Quinn." "Anything to help my sister!" "Lets start at the beginning. What do you remember about your early life with your birth parents?" "Ew! The smell! Stale beer and cigarettes. He was always yelling at her, my birth mother. There were fights. I remember hiding with Daria in our room, to get away from the fighting and screaming." "What do you recall about your sister from that time?" "She took care of me when they were gone... sometimes... they'd be gone for days."

The Final Frontier! Sort of.

Many years ago on this date, Uranus was discovered. (Huh huh huh huh huh huh...) And Pluto's discovery was announced this day too, though much later. Beavis and Butt-head have a Very Special Educational Episode related to the above. Enjoy.

Over 150,000 hits on this site! Yay!

FF.net

• NEW! Alison vs Mr T, by Smileyfax (COMPLETE!): Mr. T poked around inside the robo-remains of the robo-Jane robot. Inside, he found a robo-note written on robo-paper. "Mr. T!" the note read. "I have kidnapped Jane, and spirited her away to my fortress of evil and seduction! I intend to seduce Jane to the ways of evil... and sexiness! We will have sexy, evil times, mark my words!" "Does her boldness know no ends?" Daria questioned aloud. (Daria/The A Team) [Smileyfax is BACK!!!]
  
• NEW! Freaks of Lawndale, by Skraeling (COMPLETE!): Scarlet stood by the front of her new school, too nervous to walk closer, ignored by the students already there, and by those arriving. In front of her a sign proclaimed Lawndale High School and an American flag fluttered slowly in the wind. Clutching the silver ankh around her neck, she stepped closer....
• [Other stories that were published elsewhere have FF.net links placed with their mention here.]
  

PPMB

• Dark Date, by Ajar (COMPLETE!): "Tonight, on Dark Date, a Home-Ec teacher from Lawndale, Maryland meets an entrepreneur from Santa Clara, California, and when the lights come on, there's a revelation you have to see to believe. Coming right up, on Dark Date."
• End over End, by Shull Bitter (continued): "Is this the part where the ax murderer gets us?" Daria finally asked. "Nah, this road is so dead that he's probably still sleeping," Jane said.
• Finn Morgendorffer 36: Brain of the Family, by HolyGrail2007 (COMPLETE!): Once Daria got started, she realized now how much she could understand O’Neill’s frustrated sobs. Most of these tests were pathetic. She asked them the easiest question she could think of, in a play that was not very complicated, and they couldn’t answer it. No one tried to think for themselves on what the play was about. It wasn’t until she reached the essay written by Jeffy Mercer that she thought there was some light in the darkness. He had the overarching belief that Romeo and Mercutio were lovers. And he even cited a few of the lines in the play to back it up.
• Finn Morgendorffer 37: Mature Relationships, by HolyGrail2007 (Part 1): Stacy or Jane? [NEW! Part 2 is here: "Eeew, Daria’s pregnant, isn’t she?”]
  
• The Hallowed Halls of Fielding, by Roentgen (Part 15): "You ass!" She practically shouted it. "What the hell?" Tom asked. "Now what are you pissed off about?" "I let you dance with Daria but I didn't think you were going to slow dance. Now the girl's infatuated with you. And just after you applied your inexplicable charm, she notices you chatting up some greasy band groupie." "Excuse me, but that 'groupie' is the sister of the lead singer." [Uh-oh!] [See the story in Sweet Valley High format, too!]
• NEW! High Stakes, by Project Pegasus (COMPLETE!): "To this Godly community I say, I have seen too many frightful proofs in court — the Devil is alive in Salem, and we dare not quail to follow wherever the accusing finger points!" "Poopy."
  
• Invader Dar, by Wraith (Part 1): "Galactic conquest is near! Galactic conquest is near!" Dar sighed and looked up from her hand-held view-screen. The robot sign on the building had been going on for quite some time and the repetition was getting on her nerves. She still wasn't quite sure why she had even received an invitation to the Great Assigning. Or why she actually showed up. There was probably a mistake somewhere, but the invitation had come from the Almighty Tallest, or at least their robo-secretary. (Daria/Invader Zim)
• NEW! Jacob Morgendorffer, Esq., by CAP (Part 5): “Rafe thought that we might want to give the Army JAG corps a look,” Jake said. “JAG,” Helen disdainfully exclaimed. “Are you kidding me?” (FF.net)
  
• John Lane 45: Haunted by the Past, by RLobinske (Part 1): "Don't insult canines by comparing them to that movie." "Okay, what can I insult?" "Slugs. But only the real ugly ones." "There are fashionable slugs?"
• Pluck'd a White Rose, by Dennis (COMPLETE!): Just sixteen, with dark auburn hair uncharacteristic in her family of redheads, Daria Anne had been a pawn in the Wars of the Roses all her life, a fact of which she had been acutely aware since long before her tenth birthday. She was just 5 when King Edward had taken the throne from Mad King Henry with her father's help. She spent the early days of the new King's reign at Middleham Castle, the only happy days of her life. Her mother, Helen Anne, had made much of her, though more of her sister, and the Queen Mother Cecily, had been a frequent guest bidding the girls to be her friend and call her Kay. She'd even had a playmate in Kay's youngest son, Tom. Tom was actually the Prince Richard Plantagenet, but as the third son and undersized at that, he'd insisted she treat him as just another child, and call him by his second name.
• NEW! Shining Star: Temporal Conundrum, by RLobinske (Part 1): "So, Gerald, what brings you here?" "We found a problem on Earth D-793." "I'm not familiar with that one," Richard said, going over to his computer and typing in the designation. On a display of a bundle of green threads, one was separated and labeled. A brief synopsis appeared to one side, which he read. "Hmm, most significant event was van Maanen's star going supernova in the year 1,000 CE. Everything looks in order. What's the problem?" (SHINING STAR shared Dariaverse)
  
• Two Halves 6: Role Models, by Dark Kuno (Part 1): "Hey I thought... oof... big brothers were... ack... supposed to protect... their sweet... ugh... innocent... oof... little sisters," said Daria, interrupted by pillows to the face. "That might be true," stated Alex as he halted his attack and rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "But since I don't have a sister like that..."
• NEW! Zero G, by SigDiff (Part 3): “Anyone want to help me to a wall or something?” Mike asked as he floated almost dead center in the room, out of reach of any hand holds. “Apparently I have the highest coefficient of restitution of anyone on this flight.”
  

An Octomom, She Isn't

Nine years ago today, TV Guide published an "interview" with Daria Morgendorffer that covered the then-upcoming movie Is It Fall Yet? and her life in general. One question she was asked, and her response, are worth noting.

• Q: Do your career goals include working with children?
• A: Well, I don't plan to pursue "trapped in a living hell" as a career, so no.

Daria has expressed feelings like this before, and it is interesting that her parents have even come close to saying the same for themselves, in responding to a long-ago question from a viewer.

Given her parents' comments, it seems likely Daria will eventually (reluctantly?) have one or two kids. Or she might not, and just opt for favorite aunt status with Quinn's kids. It is interesting that in "Lane Miserables," she imagined a future in which she and Trent had one child. This was about a year of Dariaverse time after she imagined herself childless and married in "Write Where It Hurts."

Also on this day, just three years ago, astronomers finally figured out what a planet is, but then they forgot to include Pluto. Dwarf planet, indeed [shakes fist at sky]. SOCIALISM IS TO BLAME! However, there is a movement afoot to fix this horrible injustice.

One hundred and ten years ago was born a man with a passion for books and writing (no doubt a role model for Daria). Jorge Luis Borges is acclaimed for his fantastic works, and something of him has even crossed over into Daria fanfiction. Scissors MacGillicutty's unfinished "In Dreams" has Daria and Jane discover Borges' Library of Babel in the Morgendorffer family's attic. (You may read what Borges said about the Library here.)

Enjoy the day. Oh, and if you are looking for a new Iron Chef, Lorenzo Sauchelli presents: Daria's Little Helper.

PPMB

• John Lane 42: Legally Halloween, by Richard Lobinske (Part 1): "Okay, you win. We'll go to Brittany's party. But to warn you, there's as much chance of me wearing an Emma Peel catsuit as there is of you wearing one."
• The Runaway, by Aloysius (Part 1): Pete shook his head and smiled as he watched the boys move off. Therefore, he didn’t see a pajama-clad brunette climb into the back of his trailer and hide amongst the boxes.
• Scarlett the Fairy, by Aloysius (COMPLETE!): This is a story about Scarlett the Fairy, and her quest to get her favorite food by far: muffins. Scarlett, you see, is a fourteen-inch tall fairy, with straight red hair that extends to her shoulders in somewhat helmet-shaped haircut. The hair, many times, covers at least one of her eyes and she’s been known to give people and other fairies (as well as other imaginary creatures) a cryptic smile.
• Wristcutters: A Daria Story, by Charliefox2012 (Parts 1 to 3): The awesome fanfic from FF.net makes its way to PPMB. Read and enjoy.