Wednesday, May 4, 2011

This Is Not the Blog You're Looking For

Today is Star Wars Day! You know, "May the Fourth...." Get it? Yeah, I know. Don't blame me; I didn't come up with it.

There don't seem to be any Star Wars-related alter egos out there, but I thought this image of Daria was appropriately space-ish. Feel free to mentally replace her outfit with Leia's gold bikini outfit while I post the latest fanfic:
  • Daria/Dorian Ch. 15: Summertime Blues, by LadieT (part 1): ""'I take it that I wasn't the only one who had a long night,' Jane said. 'No, but Quinn helped me finally stop thinking enough to want to fall asleep.' 'Really - how did she pull that off?' Jane asked. 'By being there.'"

  • Daria, or the Confession of a Single Lonely Male, by Arena del Sur (part 3): "Friday. I know it is madness to keep this journal but it gives me a strange thrill to do so. Let me state with a sob that today my D. was reading on the so-called 'piazza,' but her mother and some other woman were around all the time. Of course, I might have sat there in the rocker and pretended to read. Playing safe, I kept away, for I was afraid that the horrible, insane, ridiculous and pitiful tremor that palsied me might prevent me from making my entrada with any semblance of casualness."

  • A Demonstration of Anger, Part Two, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "I have doubts. For if the Plan doesn't work, then the fate of the entire Omniverse will rest in the hands of whatever is destined to rise to confront Judith. And as we are learning, all too late, Destiny is just unreliable enough that Judith may yet emerge victorious in the end. And should that happen, everything will burn." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • A Different Look at 1111, by cfardell_Brenorenz29: "'So, have you wondered what other previous owners this house has had?' Jane asked. Some thoughts connected in Daria's mind. 'Actually, I think one of the previous owners was a stage magician.' Jane was surprised. 'Really? What makes you think that?' Daria got out of the seat. 'I'll show you,' she said. She walked over to the internal door closest to the external door."

  • General Semantics, Private Angst, by gwrtheyrn (part 38): "Jim Vitale pursed his lips, and scratched the angle of his jaw. 'Ms Morgendorffer, the Empire's attack on Mars has reached a curious stage. If conditions were normal, it would have to be called a failure.... Yes, I thought that would interest you. But that failure now throws every human being in the Solar System into deadly danger.'"

  • The Girl by the Oak (GlitterShrooms's Crazy Ideas/One-Shots thread), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "No matter who the girl was, she had to be new to Lawndale High since Jane had never seen her before. The girl in question was remarkably pale, and had auburn hair that went all the way to her waist. What caught Jane's attention the most though was the few tears forming behind her glasses as she read a paper-back book. For some uncharacteristic reason, Jane decided to introduce herself to the new girl. 'It's hard,' said the auburn hair girl to Jane as she approached the old oak."

  • God Save The Esteem ep29: Daria's High Score, by Charles RB (part 2): "'I ran away so my father wouldn’t smack me one, but I had to come back home so he did,' said Jake, for whom Memory Lane was part of an inner-city ghetto. 'Well SCREW YOU OLD MA- Hang on a second.' He rushed to the phone, dialled a number, and roared down the line: 'SCREW YOU OLD MAN I GOT MARRIED, RAISED SOME GREAT KIDS AND MY ELDEST TOTALLY GOT LAID LAST NIGHT oh hi Mum, could you put Dad on?'"

  • Judith's Nightmare ('Flashpoints': A Worldburner Mini-Fics Thread), by the Quiet reader (COMPLETE!): "She walks into what was once Winsor Hills Resort. Now it is a cathedral of the horrors that await her. Judith opens the doors to see a band setting up and what she saw she couldn't unsee. NegaJane was being encased in what appeared to be liquid fiberglass that was now hardening. Some kind of non conductive metal was used to hold her up as well as spill her black blood into a bowl which the band would take turns drinking."

  • The Last Word ('Flashpoints': A Worldburner Mini-Fics Thread), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Kevin watched as the world caught on fire, and yelled: 'You SUCK, Judith! YOU SUCK YOU SUCK YOU S-'"

  • LLH 'Mini' - 'The First Battle of Legion Tower', by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Thousands upon thousands of flame-Judiths disappeared in loud, violent explosions that peppered the early-morning sky like a fireworks display in just six seconds... but that was just a minute fraction of the millions of flame-forms converging upon them from every angle. Far, far, far too many to escape... ...until the wall of flame-forms exploded into a miles-long tunnel of glowing flame!" (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Mad Dog's Legacy Chapter 8: Adult Supervision, by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'How are you holding up, amiga?' Jane asked, putting down her sketchbook. 'Better than I thought I would, but it’s still freaking me out.' 'Want to talk about it?' 'Not really.' A pause. 'I guess it’s just that I couldn’t do anything to stop it. Everything happened so fast. First him…and then Tad…and then I woke up in the hospital. I couldn’t react.'"

  • Man of the House (My Best Friend 2), by Smijey (part 2): "I don't usually dream. I only dream when I'm drunk. I only drink when I hear the Old Man, giving me hateful remarks on my life, ranting about how much better he was than me, or just chuckling at the misery my life is. I dream an awful lot."

  • The Message (Long Story Challenge 3, Round 2), by Shull Bitter: "He was trying to withdraw, he really was. But she just seemed so lonely, especially now that Jane had a boyfriend. He tried to set rules for himself. 1. He'd never be the first one to contact her. He would reply, but not initiate new conversations. 2. He would discourage their correspondence in a variety of subtle ways, from never giving details of his own life to being flippant or as distant as he could be while being polite. 3. If she needed him, he'd be there. 4. He wouldn't exploit her. The rules didn't help much. They were impossible to follow."

  • Not So Different 12: Misery Misses Company, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Sonny stared appraisingly at the being who had provided half his genes and, at least in theory, half his upbringing. There was nothing to say. He removed himself from his sleeping bag, dressed, and emerged from the tent to join his father, who clapped him on the back with appalling heartiness. 'Isn't nature great!' Jake inhaled deeply and then put his arm around Sonny's shoulder again and gave him a squeeze. 'And here we are together, father and son, the way it's supposed to be, getting food for the tribe!'"

  • Not So Different 13: 'When Your Soul Is In My Soul's Stead', by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Anyway, the bottom line was the same as always. Tommy Sherman was as devoid of appeal as Sonny had expected him to be, but Sonny wasn’t going to change who he was because of that. He certainly wasn’t going to start charging to the rescue of his classmates, any of them."

  • Not So Different 14: Solidarity, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'Listen', said Jane. ‘I haven’t forgotten the time when you told me you were never going to collaborate with me on an artwork again, because you’re not in my league artistically. But it’s not doing the actual work I need you for. I’m looking for a concept. And the plan is to find a negative concept, and negative concepts are your best thing.’ ‘Thanks.’"

  • Quinn of Hearts, by Kristen Bealer (part 1): "Pizza Prince will be closed for two weeks for renovations in order to serve our customers better. We look forward to seeing you again when we reopen! The girls' eyes went straight from the sign on the door to the window above it. All they could see was a dark restaurant, deserted and silent. 'They can do that?!' Jane cried desperately."

  • Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 47): "Jane continued to look shell-shocked after the cruiser drove away. 'Welcome to Boston, Jane,' Daria said teasingly. 'You just met your first crackpot.'"

  • Rude Awakening Episode 4: It's That Kind of Day, by DIsaac (parts 1 - 3): "JANE: We are just one step away from a crazy house. MACK: You all are just joking around, right? BURNOUT: Oh, Michael Mackenzie, Forgive him for he knows not of what he about to walk into." (Part 2) (Part 3)

  • Sacked (Iron Chef: Mack Snaps), by TheExcellentS (COMPLETE!): "Kevin: 'Listen to yourself, Mack. I don't know what's going on in your head. We've been buds since high school, we've worked our way through the ranks of the LFC, we've won the tag titles. Heck, you won the world title, and I couldn't have been happier for you! Through thick and thin, we've had each other's backs. But I don't know where you're coming from anymore. You're definitely not the Michael Mackenzie I used to know.'"

  • Save the Last Trance for Me, by jtranser: "Daria shook her head: 'What a waste.' 'True that. Well, it's time for you to go punch in and connect with your Godness on an official basis.'"

  • Summer Lovin' (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "They ran into each other during summer break. One sarcastic comment led to another, and before they knew it they were in his new old car, making out in front of the Pizza King. He invited her back to his house. She surprised them both by accepting."

  • Surprise Buttsex! ('Flashpoints': A Worldburner Mini-Fics Thread), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "For three whole days, the King of the Gods abstained – and, being the canny bastard he was (after all, being in charge of a whole group of horny, backstabbing and downright smug, yet sexy deities who could get their freak on better than an entire season of an Aaron Spelling prime-time drama required being quick on your feet - and a refractory period measured in microseconds) he figured out how..."

  • Unnamed story (AUs, Brain Farts and other stuff), by Greystar (COMPLETE!): "'Every outfit you've put on, you've walked out here and asked if it makes you look fat. I tell you that it doesn't, but you change clothes anyway.' Quinn closed the magazine and looked at the half open closet door. 'Why is that?' 'Why is what?' Tiffany asked. 'Why is it you don't believe me when I say that you don't look fat in whatever outfit you have on?'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mack Snaps), by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "The three girls looked around as the sound of funky '70s guitar began echoing through the hallways. The other students also looked puzzled as the music got louder and louder. And then...there he was. Stylish black platform shoes, navy blue bell bottoms, orange wing collared shirt open halfway down his muscular chest. Stylish black leather jacket. Aviator sunglasses, a well styles Afro on his head and a luxuriant mustache on his face. Every move lithe and smooth, exuding confidence, unlimited virility, and an infinite capacity for badassery."

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