Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day!

Today is Mother's Day in the United States, so today would be a good day to call your mother (or favorite mother figure, if you prefer). Helen Morgendorffer just might look up from her work in time to notice, but let's not hold our breath, okay?

Today is also Victory in Europe Day, which commemorates the end of World War II for Europe. All in all, a pretty good day!

New Fanfic!

  • Belching Daria (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "Daria and Jane gazed down at the refrigerator box. 'Well, it's a box alright,' Jane observed. 'It's more than a box,' Daria said, more to herself than Jane."

  • Daria Unplugged S1, by peapotmaster: "MR. BUZZCUT Listen up, you morons, and shut the hell up! As you know, one of you bastards is leaving Highland. I wish it was Beavis and Butt-Head, but it’s Daria Morgendorffer."

  • Fat Unlike Me (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "They finally arrived at their destination: a rather seedy-looking minimall somewhere downtown. Quinn got out, gesturing for Sandi to do the same, and she then led the chubbier girl to the rear of the Good Times Chinese Restaurant. 'Like, what are we waiting for, Quinn?' Sandi asked, impatient. 'Sandi, in just a few minutes, you'll find out why I want you to lose weight so much.'"

  • The Ghost Drawler (Iron Chef: Unlikely Team-Ups), by Smijey: "'Are you telling me after three damn years, somebody FINALLY NOTICED TOMMY SHERMAN?' The man with the broken nose gave a whoop. 'Dollface, I ain't never been so glad to talk up a chick like this before, you know what I mean?' The smirk on his face gave a strong hint as to what he meant. Tiffany left the confines of her mind and noticed the ex-football player again. 'If you don't get out, I'll tell,' she said, pointing towards the door."

  • God Save The Esteem ep29: Daria's High Score, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Not taking anymore chances, Ken went for his car. He’d have to leave Tiffany behind and all his hopes & dreams of her calling him 'Ken', but he’d have to make that sacrifice – he was almost home free- The window directly above him shattered; Janet Barch came hurtling through it, screaming 'MEEEEENNNNN SSSUUUUUUCCCKKKKK' on her way down, and as she landed she jumped and dropkicked him in the face."

  • An Invitation You Can't Refuse (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: It's Friday!!), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'Are you ladies in need of a knight in shining armor?' 'Can we take the armor and ditch the knight?' 'Hey!' Charles smirked. 'It's a packaged deal, toots!' Daria and Jane exchanged a look, then Daria unzipped her boxy green jacket, swept it open and drew her glock from her tooled leather shoulder holster."

  • Is It Lunch Yet? (Pie, Pie, My Darling), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'I'm not much for public speaking, or much for speaking, or come to think of it...' She trailed off as she looked at the award in her hands. The microphone picked up the growling of her stomach. Daria opened her mouth, and..."

  • The James Lane Chronicles Chapter 6, by InvisibleDan (part 3): "'I can't believe this. You don't even bother asking me what I would want to do so you volunteer me for something I would never choose and now that your boss's boss is involved there's no way I can get out of it without making you look bad.' Helen just shrugged her shoulders. Her voice as cold as ice, Daria said, 'I'll be in my room.'"

  • Kevin and His First Battle, by Wassersauefer (COMPLETE!): "Kevin hissed when Dame Kirsten adjusted the dressing around his broken left leg but he was unwilling to scream like a little boy in front of a hot chick. Not that he would ever try to land with Kirsten, her being older than him. And of course there was the fact that her boyfriend could kick his ass every day with his hands tied down. Speaking of her boyfriend, said young man stormed right into their direction. 'Yo, Hendrik-Bro...', began Kevin, grinning like only he could, when Sir Hendriks armored fist connected with Kevin’s nose, breaking it instantly."

  • Legacy, by getrealordie187 (COMPLETE!): "She meets her wide eyes in the mirror. "That b***h. She planned all of this. Every single piece of it." And knowing you've been played only means you get to figure out exactly how long that man behind the curtain's been making you look like a fool. It doesn't help persay but on the brightside? You can finally see where the strings were being pulled. And then all you have left is the fun task of wondering how you missed it all in the first place."

  • Level A (Bits & Pieces that just BEG to be made into Daria FanFic), by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "At the moment, all Daria could hear was the faint hiss of of air flowing from her backpack tank to her respirator. Her uncorrected vision was blurred even more by the lenses of the full-face respirator and the plastic face of the outer containment suit. The baggy, blue suit restricted her movements, so she compensated with extra care as she set the offending container into an overpack drum. With a nod to her partner, they put the drum lid in place and tightened the bronze bolt with a non-sparking wrench."

  • LLH Alternate Future - 08 - Get Real, by psychotol: "'Daria?' asked one of the patrons. 'No. Daria’s a wuss. Takes a real telepath to scramble someone’s brain and entire nervous system. X-rays are dead. Excuse me.' She left. It wasn’t Daria, just Daria like. 'She ... god that was creepy,' said someone."

  • Man of the House, by Smijey: "Daria was extremely disgruntled for the next few weeks in the lead-up to the wedding. The day after she blew up at me, she had a rather heated phone conversation with Helen. She demanded to speak to Quinn, but Helen rejected it, citing that she didn't want Quinn to talk to Daria while she was so 'upset'. Then Helen asked to talk to me, and she bitched me out for getting Daria so upset. After she ran out of steam, I managed to ask about Jane, and she at least agreed to that."

  • Not So Different 15: Payback Is A Barch, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "Suddenly Sonny was ambushed by his mother, who was indeed wearing a red team armband. She pointed her paintball gun at him and he surrendered at once. 'Sonny, you could at least try.' 'I'm learning about another aspect of warfare, the experience of the captive.'"

  • Not So Different 16: Ju-Jutsu, by J-D (COMPLETE!): "'The only reason she got an A', Sonny went on, 'is that O'Neill is emotionally incompetent to recognise that a cry of pain is not necessarily a mark of intellect. Maybe next time I have to do an essay for him I should just write: “I don't like doing homework! Please don't make me do homework! I hate it so much!” Then I could just spill a few tears on the page before I hand it in...'"

  • Rude Awakening Ep. 4: It's That Kind of Day, by DIsaac (parts 4 - 6): "DARIA: 8:35 on WHUB 98.5, Alright I want to talk about a couple of things, that for lack of a better term, came out during that Jodie and Mack conversation. MACK: One, Jodie would have done Jane back in high school if she swung that way. DARIA: Two, Jane hates being hit on by lesbians." (Part 5) (Part 6)

  • Sick Sad Photography (Long Story Challenge #2), by untra: "'Mom, I can explain,' Quinn began, casting a pleading look to Jane. 'There were these photos of Daria, but I think they're actually of aunt Amy, and-' 'You mean photos like this one?' Helen growled, holding up the crumbled photo of her daughter. 'Because it's not aunt Amy, I can assure you.' Both Quinn and Jane went quiet, thinking of their next words. After a long and awkward silence, Jane spoke up with the most honest words she could come up with for the situation. 'Oh fuck.'"

  • Tales of the Ringbearers: With Extreme Prejudice, by Doggieboy (part 1): "A panicked male voice on a speaker suddenly said, 'Dunwich Base, this is Norwood Base, we are under attack! I repeat, we are under attack! Attacker appears to be a Ringbearer. I repeat, the attacker appears to be a Ringbearer! Please advise us to what we need to do! We have no----' The voice cut out then and for several seconds, everyone in the lab froze and stared at the now silent speaker."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mack Dynamite Goes to School), by Dark Kuno (COMPLETE!): "Jodie smirked and Mack let out a chuckle as they took in the decorations setup for the Boogie Bash '70s Revival Night, the latest of Ms. Li's fund raising plans for 'capital improvements'. 'Looks like they managed to find the disco ball,' said Mack as he glanced up at the sparkling mirrored sphere hanging from the auditorium rafters."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mack Dynamite Goes to School), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "Mack walked into the bathroom, the door slamming into the wall hard behind him. 'It's just too much,' he muttered, pacing the length of the room, stopping to stare at the mirror. 'Come on, man,' he said to his reflection. 'You can do this.' He took several deep breaths, then felt his control slip."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Mack Dynamite Goes to School), by Hyrin (COMPLETE!): "'KEVIN! What were the ramifications of the Watergate scandal?!' 'Um...Everyone got wet?' 'Shut yo mouth!' Mack said, slapping Kevin so hard that his ring left an imprint of the words 'Jive Sucka' in the QB's forehead. 'Big Daddy Dick had to walk the long walk o' shame. Mr. Model T himself took over and there was crying in the streets when he gave out the great "Get Outta The Slammer Free" card.'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Unlikely Team-Ups), by getrealordie187 (COMPLETE!): "'Do you not know that we have a common enemy young Sloane?' ' me Tom. And I don't like to think of my girlfriend's father as the enemy.'"

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