Long Live the Jake!

Jake is definitely not amused to be celebrating the anniversary of Queen Victoria's birth in 1819. Perhaps he's thinking about how difficult it would be to rule an entire empire singlehandedly, or maybe he's just thinking about what Mad Dog would say if he saw him right now.

However, today is not the day to fret about abusive fathers, because it's National Brother's Day and we should be thinking about male siblings! Jake never mentioned any siblings of either gender, but Jane could wish Trent a good day...if she's able to wake him up, anyway.

Daria, not having a brother, could instead choose to observe World Schizophrenia Day by re-reading the poetry in her closet, scratched with a key by the schizophrenic former inhabitant of her room. Beats Quinn's "Greasy Fry" poem, at least.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria's Party Addition, by DrT9999 (COMPLETE!): "As far as Daria was concerned, one positive aspect of Quinn's injuries was that her parents had to cancel a couples' intimacy Saturday night get together."


• Funky Pretty, by MoleFromTheMinistry (part 8): "The birds were singing, the brook was rushing, and life was rolling on by. Such a sweet morning to do absolutely nothing… except probably reconnecting with nature like Thoreau wanted."


• The World in All Its Wonders Has Nothing Like the Wonder of You, by Bolshevitch (COMPLETE!): "The first time she says it, really says it instead of letting the words spill out the side of her head, is after dinner with the Morgendorffers."

Long Live the Jake!

Jake is certainly not looking amused for the anniversary of Queen Victoria's coronation on this day in 1838. In his defense, that outfit doesn't look at all comfortable and I'm sure he doesn't feel very confident in his ability to rule an entire nation.

Daria, meanwhile, might consider finally getting her ears pierced for International Body Piercing Day, unless her belly button experience soured her on the whole idea. Just as long as, whatever choice she makes, she does it for her own reasons and not to impress some guy.

It was on this day in 2000 that the episode "Psycho Therapy" first aired. It's a fan favorite not only because of the legendary role-playing exercise, but Tom's viral-before-viral-was-a-thing butt wiggle on Jane Cam. Just think; if things had gone differently he might be an influencer by now!

Meanwhile, in 1998, Daria and Jane hosted the "Top 10 Animated Videos Countdown." It's exactly as snarky as you think, too.

Fandom News!

• Derek celebrates Boston moving up the "worst traffic" rankings.

God Save the...Queen?

I have no idea whose idea it was to make an alter ego of Jake as Queen Victoria, but even Jake seems unhappy about it. In fact, you might say that he is...not amused? Anyway, the long-reigning Queen of England was born on this day in 1819 and assumed the throne at the age of 18.

I can just hear Jodie's parents complaining about their daughter's comparative lack of ambition.

Today is also National Escargot Day, so better put an order in at Chez Pierre now to beat the rush. Unless you want, you know, quality food. Then you should probably go somewhere else.

Fandom News!

• Captain Marbles shares some public service announcements for magical/super girls (and boys).


• What would Daria in your neighborhood look like?


• Talk about the fandom history of the cast.


• Pooka created a speech synthesis for Daria.

A Royal Pain

Jake's wishing a very un-amused happy birthday to Queen Victoria, born two hundred years ago today. Either that or he's trying out a new cosplay hobby, which in fairness is far safer than his interest in cooking.

Today is also National Escargot Day, so feel free to stop by Chez Pierre for their specialty. Or you could just join Daria and Jane for a pizza.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria the Vampire Slayer: Hell Comes To Texas, by Charles RB (part 9): "Tomorrow, Daria had Earl call again before school and again, Todd was not in. After school, they tried again and this time Earl found the gang sounded really worried that he hadn't come back."


• Lane Splitting, by welltemperedclavier (parts 1 - 4): "When the sight of her mother's car pulled up in the driveway inspired something other than annoyance, Jane knew it was a sign that she'd spent too much time kicking around in Lawndale." (Part 2) (Part 3 (Part 4)


• Quinn Got In The Car, by Lady Evil (part 4): "Dear Jane, I am the part of that power which eternally wills evil and eternally works good. I trust you'll understand the reference to another German tragedy without me having to name the play."

The Royal Ranter

Jake's enjoying a little crossdressing today, perhaps because it's the anniversary of Queen Victoria's coronation in 1838. I'm pretty sure Queen Victoria was more level-headed than Jake was, but Jake also tends to be more easily amused.

Speaking of Jake's tendency toward hysterics, today is also the day "Psycho Therapy" first aired in 2000. Fifteen years later and I'm sure Jake is no closer to resolving his stress (or lack thereof) issues.

Fandom News!

• Where do you go out? Tell everyone about what you like to do for fun.


• Take a quiz and find out just what kind of a man are you?


• Kara Wild has a question about the best place to sell or recycle old computers.


• Discuss the recent Supreme Court gay marriage decision.


• Do you have any advice for dealing with negative people? Share it in the thread.


• Read the Buzzfeed article to find out where the Daria cast are now.

Jake Is Not Amused

Jake is looking very regal as Queen Victoria, who was born on this day in 1819. Not only was she the longest-reigning British monarch in history, I'll bet she also never had to go camping without a tent, dammit!

Today is also National Escargot Day, so if you've been looking for an excuse to eat at Chez Pierre, then now's your chance. Although why anyone (aside from Quinn) would want to eat there, I don't know.

Fandom News!

• Share your reflections on the recently-ended TV series Warehouse 13.


• Share what you think of the latest news about the Ant-Man movie.


• What, in your opinion, are the do's and don'ts of Iron Chefs?


• Two new Iron Chefs have been posted in Creative Writing: LSauchelli's Jobless Daria and macross's Daria witnesses bullying and does something/nothing?


• Robyn posted some art requests in the Easel.

Jake is Not Amused

Happy birthday to Queen Victoria, who was born on this day 194 years ago. Jake looks surprisingly comfortable in the role, perhaps because as queen he can drink as much milk as he wants.

Fanfic Update!

• Bitches (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Yeah, I got so many bitches, bro! They're pretty much all over me!'"


• Brofists! (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "All right, bro. Good news: you know how the chicks dig that chipped tooth look? Rockin' it. Thee, you can thee my tongue."


• Crossing Stars, by Silver: "Mad Dog laughed, hugging his granddaughter, and then stepping back. 'Brought the rest of the adopted kids with ya, I see.' He glanced the rest of the Nemo crew over. 'Glad to see you all. Always worried when the news about Authority raids into League space starts lining up with what I hear through the back channels-'"


• Daria and Co. are forced to read "Daria and Co. are forced to read 'My Immortal'" (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Clearly, Shiva doesn't take after George Carlin when it comes to sensitivity,' Daria said. She squinted at the screen."


• Daria & Co. Are Forced to Read Themselves MST'ing a Story They've Never Heard Of (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Um...what's going on?' asked Daria. She stared dumbfounded at the words that flew across the screen."


• Daria Race War (SFMB), by Bliss Ticks (part 10): "As chaos erupted in the halls of Lawndale High, Kevin drifted back to consciousness."


• Depths of Shallowness, by SacredDust (parts 9 and 10): "Quinn was gone. I couldn't find my jacket. There was enough hot water left for my shower. And I was getting over one of the weirdest dreams of my life. This was going to be another interesting day." (Part 10)


• A D-Verse That Should Not Be (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!!!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Like OMG!' A montone voice boomed across the quad at Lawndale High. Heads turned and gasps erupted from jaw-dropped mouths."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 20b): "'Not everybody chews gum, you know', Dylan said to Rod. 'But she'd never seen a television before?' said Rod. 'Trust you to pick one of the weird ones.'"


• Emo Tom is Emo (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (part 5): "Sandi Griffin, Stacy Rowe, Tiffany Blum-Deckler, and Quinn Morgendorffer. The Four Horsewomen of the Fashion Apocalypse."


• The Fall, by Ranger Thorne (part 7): "You're gonna hate yourself in the morning, Willow pointed out. But there will BE a morning, Buffy thought back. I hope. Now get ready!"


• Finding an Accord, by Lord Yellowtail (prologue part 1): "'Good morning, Mrs. Landingham,' Charlie Young chirped as he walked bristly into the Oval Office's foyer, crossing to his desk and dropping the stack of a half-dozen newspapers from towns and cities large and small onto his desk with a mighty thud."


• The First Week in Andrea's Term as President of the Student Council (Iron Chef: Who is on the Student Council?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Coach Morris was found in her office swinging from a ceiling fixture with electrical cord cutting so deeply into her jugular that the first responding paramedics discovered that it had in fact cut into the flesh and was embedded so deeply that the funeral parlor where she wound up left large chunks of it in and just covered it with flesh colored makeup."


• Get Mad, Bro (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "You never know in which shithole you'll meet the King of the Bros but in this dump peasant club there he was."


• Glasses and Lipstick (chapter 3), by oni (part 3): "Walking over to the bed and sitting down on it, Linda gently ran her hands through her hair due to nerves. 'I want to try and fix things, Jake,' she said in a quite tone."


• If Looks Could Kill, by SacredDust (part 1): "He could see their house from the third floor of the Dutchman Inn. He would wait until the cars were gone, then make his move."


• Left 4 Daria, by Charles RB (part 1): "It was a crap time for Daria to move to Lawndale."


• Of All The People That Won't Be Missed, by LongSnakeMoan (part 3): "Todd lowered the tablet and took a long sip of his juice, the darkened look crossing his face unobserved by the other guy who was otherwise engaged in watching his friend attempting to simulate sex with the dancing girl as she weaved away from him."


• Random Article (Different Trajectory), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It's funny how one little thing can set your entire life on a completely different trajectory that you never even remotely considered until after the fact."


• Revolution (Iron Chef: Lyrical Challenge II), by abe (COMPLETE!): "Jane's maniacal laughter rang out as she deleted the window displaying the Batman fanfiction, exposing the 'Phoenix in Flames' image that she used for her computer's desktop. 'Take that!' she chortled."


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 8): "'Well, Jane, we did what we came here to do. So, when and where do we go next?'"


• Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (parts 3 and 4): "There's lots of stuff that Bro's like to do for fun, like playing lacrosse, drinking, smokin' weed, playing Beer Pong, getting hammered, breaking shit, rioting, wreckin some slut at that optimal time of night that doesn't require you to talk to her." (Part 4)


• Unnamed story (The 1001 Humiliations of Quinn Morgendorffer), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'No Quinn,' Stacy said firmly while pushing her away, 'I'm flattered that you find me attractive but I don't like girls, or you like that.'"


• Unnamed story (The 1001 Humiliations of Quinn Morgendorffer), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked up from her reading and grimaced."


• Unnamed story (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "As Tom Sloane made his way to the kitchen for some za, he hip-checked his sister into the door frame. 'Move, bitch!' he said as Elsie stumbled and tried to keep her balance."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Lyrical Challenge II), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "It had been there as long as most anyone could remember. There were a few out there still who could remember what the city had been like before Wily."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!!!!), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Quinn walked into the room and began to breathe lustily. 'My true love. I have come for you at last.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!!!!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Outside Daria's bedroom window, tree branches rustled gently. Shadows of the leaves could be seen waving across the blankets in a soothing pattern. The horrible pop music playing from Quinn's room had finally stopped. It was a perfect night for sleep."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Hey Daria, wanna go out for pizza?' asked Jane."

Jake is Not Amused, Either

Today is the anniversary of Queen Victoria's coronation in 1838. Jake's doing his best, but I'm sure I've seen better impersonations of the monarch.

More recently, today is also the 12th anniversary of the episode "Psycho Therapy," which was great just for the role-playing sequence alone. And who could forget Tom's fifteen minutes of fame as a butt wiggler? (In fairness, it was easier on the eyes than O'Neill's ever was.)

Fanfic Update!

• At the Crossroads...(Chapter 12), by oni (part 1): "The days flew off the calendar and before long it was Thanksgiving. It was morning time at the Griffin household and Sandi was helping her mother prepare food, since she didn’t need the crutches anymore. Things may have changed for the better between her mom and her, but Linda’s temper went off for other reasons now..."


• Careful What You Wish For (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Monday, Monday), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Daria placed the phone in the cradle and slowly pulled her hand back. She stared at the construct of plastic and metal for a moment, then swung her legs up onto her bed and flopped back against the pillow. Her eyes strayed to the crack in the ceiling, the stories she and Jane would fabricate to go with the changing shapes in the plaster. But she had not seen Jane outside of school for weeks."


• Daria Blade: Book One, by peapotmaster (part 1): "'You’re going to pay for what you and your goons did to my family, you son of a bitch,' Daria got up, as she rose using her sword. She had a glare at Axel, as she roared at him, charging at him at full speed."


• Daria is Raven's Apprentice, by project pegasus: "Starfire: Friend Raven, this is a mistake. You cannot do this! Raven: (ashamed of herself) We don’t have any other choice. Starfire: There is always choice! The Titans were formed to fight people like Mr. Cashman! He stole Miley Cyprus’ money!"


• Family New, by RLobinske (part 6): "Mr. Vitale said, 'However, she never settled on guardian for the children. This is a little awkward, but she was uncomfortable with recommending either you two or Jake's sister. Helen had contacted a couple called the Yeagers, but they never gave a clear answer.' Rita and Amy looked at each other for several moments. Amy then said, 'I suppose we deserved that.'"


• Family Reunion, by januense (part 7): "'Hey, uncle G!...' greeted Trent '... good morning. Why are you carrying your special occasion artillery?' He stepped into the room, crossing his arms, putting the huge gun in the notch of the left one, as if he was holding a newborn baby. 'Well... there are some annoying little pests in the house. I wanted to set some traps, but I changed my mind... we didn't have a little family hunt in ages, so we're gonna eradicate them in the old fashioned way... nothing's better than some indoor sport and family bonding.' he loudly exclaimed, grinning."


• Full of Esteem (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Monday, Monday), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Timothy O'Neill cackled with glee at the heavily pregnant figures strapped to their pretty lacy pink beds, reminding himself once more that he was doing the right thing by holding all of them against their will."



• Getting to be One with Nature (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Monday, Monday), by DIsaac (COMPLETE!): "As Jane vomit the contents of last night'd dinner due the site that was before them. Her friend , Daria just mumbled to her self 'I know I can't unseen this but dammit I really do. Where the hell is Ms. Li when you need her?'"


• The Hearts Within, by neonhomer (part 4): "I walked over to the table and sat down. 'Where’s mom?' 'She’s on the phone with Stacy’s mother.' Dad said as he folded his paper and set it down. He lowered his voice. 'Hear she didn’t take it too well when she found out.' 'No. She didn’t.' I told him. 'I could have sworn for a moment, that mom wanted to hit her.'"


• Improbability (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have-Now Springtime Fresh), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "'THE GODS HAVE FORSAKEN US!' Angela Li screamed into the PA system as pandemonium consumed Lawndale High."


• Little Green Cap, by peetz5050 (part 4): "'Well... at least I can discuss discussing the... issue... if that makes any sense. I know what happened to me, I remember it... but... I don't dwell on it. When I let it I see... faces... and feel...' Her breathing was becoming labored and she was tensing up as she spoke, her knuckles whitening on her clenched fists."


• Misery Chick No More (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Monday, Monday), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Daria was frozen in sheer horror at what stood on her doorstep, spinkles of soil fell off the slightly decomposed figure as he stared at her with his dead and yet horribly animated eyes."


• Operation Glitterberries, by BF110C4 (part 19): "About the only things that gave the room the feeling of being lived in rather than holding someone there were the different posters pinned to the walls, even if they were as morbid as the rest of the room, with ‘Kafka’s Metamorphosis’ sharing a wall with an old poster of a half dug skeleton from an archaeological site; incongruously there was a white sock incongruently sewed to the wall. The models of a realistic human heart and a piece of cheese from all the possible things completed the look."


• Quinn and Her Little Brother (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Monday, Monday), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Quinn glared at the sleeping infant in it's cradle, the mere existence of a baby brother was enough to make the world seem like a cruel, dark place."


• Sexy Daria: Sex and the Mall, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "And now that she had spotted him by himself in the hallway, it was moment of truth time. Once she had caught his eye, his gorgeous sapphire blue eyes, all those rehearsed lines flew out the window and she was forced to improvise. 'Uh... Hi Ronnie.' Scarlett said lamely, it was the best she could do with short notice."



• Toilet Humor (IC: Hell is Crossed People), by GlitterShrooms (COMPLETE!): "It was hard for her to breathe. Admittedly, she had always thought before that Highland was a living Hell, but now...Now she realized what Hell truly was. Daria sat back down on the floor. Of all the places there was for her to die, it was going to be in the bathroom in the teachers' lounge. And of all the ways to die, it would be at the hand of those monsters. Why didn't she just give up and die while she had the chance?"


• Unnamed story (IC: How did Daria end up in Hot Topic's Torture Room?), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked suspiciously at the outfit that Trent was holding in his hands. 'You want me to try that on?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Monday, Monday), by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked over at Quinn. 'Now let me get this straight, you were walking home from the mall when he offered you a ride home?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Monday, Monday), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "It was 11:30 pm, and Daria was finally finished with her history paper on the Constitution. With that out of the way, she could turn to her secret passion - RPF, or 'real person fiction'."


• Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria Fanfic should ever have: Monday, Monday), by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Charles turned to the waiting crowd, grinning. 'What lucky lady is next in line for Monsieur Charles and his Magic Fingers?'"

Historical Footnote Double-header!

Queen Victoria of the United Kingdom got her crown on this day, just 172 years ago. Jake Morgendorffer stands in for her on the left. I'm sure there was some kind of perverted symbolism involved on the artist's part, but we'll let that go. As Upchuck would say...

Also, the Sick, Sad Life Planner CD, on a morbid note, points out another special "Sick, Sad" event for this day with a tongue-in-cheek "feminist" tweak. Lizzie Borden was found not guilty of the axe murders of her father and stepmother 116 years ago. Maybe they felt sorry for her because she was an orphan. (Note: Just because I mention Lizzie Borden here does not mean I believe she should be construed as a role model for today's young women.) We hear from Jake Morgendorffer on Lizzie Borden, although Daria's view of Ms. Borden is slightly different. I feel like writing a poem.

Brit'ny Taylor took an axe
And gave her boyfriend forty whacks,
And when she saw what she had done,
She gave him one more whack for fun!
Gooooo Lawndale!

Thank you, thank you very much.

SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT: Disco316 should be recognized for adding more pages to the DariaWiki in the last few weeks than I think anyone can possibly believe. He is THE MAN. Thanks, dude! Brother Grimace, NightGoblyn, and Richard Lobinske have done their part too. This fandom is the best.

OTHER NEWS: This blog has nine followers! I honest to heaven have no idea what sorts of special things I am supposed to do for followers, but this blog is grateful to be followed by anyone for any reason. If you are a current follower or past follower or sorta thinking about following or not thinking about following but still reading this, let me know what you'd like to see more of here! Always open to suggestions.

NEW IRON CHEF: Losdia has kindly provided the angst-ridden among us to exercise their angst muscles in a new Iron Chef: Angst Lord Time-Trials Redux! On your mark, get set...

THE APOCALYPSE, NOW: Richard Lobinske has a new figure model, one with relevance to many Dariaverses: the source of all the zombie outbreaks!

PPMB

• Action Stories 3: Two Knights Defense, by NightGoblyn (Part 7): Huntress stepped over the last agent, now unconscious on the floor, and stared through the two-way mirror into the room her sister was in. Ronnie was half slumped over in a chair, blinking groggily as she came out of whatever they’d dosed her with during the kidnapping. Her hands were cuffed behind her back, and a piece of duct tape had been put over her mouth.
• Caught, by Legendeld (Part 2): “It was Jane’s first time, and I pressured her,” Quinn said almost on cue. Helen rolled her eyes before looking back at Jane, who blushed. “Well, that one worked on Trent.” “I’m not Trent.” Helen said.
• Daylight: Fallen from Grace: I Should Have Been Home Yesterday, by Disco316 (Part 8): Steve pointed to the sign on the gate. “Sir? If these signs are right, they might shoot us just for going up there.” The Commander took out his 9mm Beretta, cocked it, and aimed it at Steve’s head. “What do you think I’m going to do to you if you don’t? Worry about me, smart guy!”
  
• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Angst Lord Time-Trials Redux), by Doggieboy (COMPLETE!): The smoke finally cleared and John Fleming looked down at Scarlett's body, as it laid face-down on the garage floor. "Dammit!" he said and then looked at the pistol in his right hand. It all went wrong.

And... a few new DariaWiki webpages worth perusing. (Is that the right word? Yeah, checked it, it was right.) Mucho thanks to Disco316, Brother Grimace, and Richard Lobinske.

• Skip Stevens
• Ronnie
• Kassia Ivanov
• Landon Massacre
• Everything Happens for a Reason
• Falling from Grace
• Starry Eyes Open
• Catilina
• Save the Nauga's Hide
• Cypher
• Chad (character)
• Memorial Day (character)
• Kiddo
• Amiga
• Poxicil
• Hydro-Eight
• Lawndale Medical Art Partners
• Doctor Davidson
• Nurse Chase

LATE NOTE: The problems with the above links have been fixed. Sorry about that!

Oh, what the heck, here's another list, but a short one. Know what the three longest pages in DariaWiki are?

• Daria Multiverse (42,456 bytes)
• Tired Daria Fandom Tropes (41,725 bytes)
• Defender Ring (40,973 bytes)