Jake is Not Amused

Happy birthday to Queen Victoria, who was born on this day 194 years ago. Jake looks surprisingly comfortable in the role, perhaps because as queen he can drink as much milk as he wants.

Fanfic Update!

• Bitches (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Yeah, I got so many bitches, bro! They're pretty much all over me!'"


• Brofists! (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "All right, bro. Good news: you know how the chicks dig that chipped tooth look? Rockin' it. Thee, you can thee my tongue."


• Crossing Stars, by Silver: "Mad Dog laughed, hugging his granddaughter, and then stepping back. 'Brought the rest of the adopted kids with ya, I see.' He glanced the rest of the Nemo crew over. 'Glad to see you all. Always worried when the news about Authority raids into League space starts lining up with what I hear through the back channels-'"


• Daria and Co. are forced to read "Daria and Co. are forced to read 'My Immortal'" (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "'Clearly, Shiva doesn't take after George Carlin when it comes to sensitivity,' Daria said. She squinted at the screen."


• Daria & Co. Are Forced to Read Themselves MST'ing a Story They've Never Heard Of (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Um...what's going on?' asked Daria. She stared dumbfounded at the words that flew across the screen."


• Daria Race War (SFMB), by Bliss Ticks (part 10): "As chaos erupted in the halls of Lawndale High, Kevin drifted back to consciousness."


• Depths of Shallowness, by SacredDust (parts 9 and 10): "Quinn was gone. I couldn't find my jacket. There was enough hot water left for my shower. And I was getting over one of the weirdest dreams of my life. This was going to be another interesting day." (Part 10)


• A D-Verse That Should Not Be (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!!!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Like OMG!' A montone voice boomed across the quad at Lawndale High. Heads turned and gasps erupted from jaw-dropped mouths."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 20b): "'Not everybody chews gum, you know', Dylan said to Rod. 'But she'd never seen a television before?' said Rod. 'Trust you to pick one of the weird ones.'"


• Emo Tom is Emo (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (part 5): "Sandi Griffin, Stacy Rowe, Tiffany Blum-Deckler, and Quinn Morgendorffer. The Four Horsewomen of the Fashion Apocalypse."


• The Fall, by Ranger Thorne (part 7): "You're gonna hate yourself in the morning, Willow pointed out. But there will BE a morning, Buffy thought back. I hope. Now get ready!"


• Finding an Accord, by Lord Yellowtail (prologue part 1): "'Good morning, Mrs. Landingham,' Charlie Young chirped as he walked bristly into the Oval Office's foyer, crossing to his desk and dropping the stack of a half-dozen newspapers from towns and cities large and small onto his desk with a mighty thud."


• The First Week in Andrea's Term as President of the Student Council (Iron Chef: Who is on the Student Council?), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Coach Morris was found in her office swinging from a ceiling fixture with electrical cord cutting so deeply into her jugular that the first responding paramedics discovered that it had in fact cut into the flesh and was embedded so deeply that the funeral parlor where she wound up left large chunks of it in and just covered it with flesh colored makeup."


• Get Mad, Bro (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "You never know in which shithole you'll meet the King of the Bros but in this dump peasant club there he was."


• Glasses and Lipstick (chapter 3), by oni (part 3): "Walking over to the bed and sitting down on it, Linda gently ran her hands through her hair due to nerves. 'I want to try and fix things, Jake,' she said in a quite tone."


• If Looks Could Kill, by SacredDust (part 1): "He could see their house from the third floor of the Dutchman Inn. He would wait until the cars were gone, then make his move."


• Left 4 Daria, by Charles RB (part 1): "It was a crap time for Daria to move to Lawndale."


• Of All The People That Won't Be Missed, by LongSnakeMoan (part 3): "Todd lowered the tablet and took a long sip of his juice, the darkened look crossing his face unobserved by the other guy who was otherwise engaged in watching his friend attempting to simulate sex with the dancing girl as she weaved away from him."


• Random Article (Different Trajectory), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "It's funny how one little thing can set your entire life on a completely different trajectory that you never even remotely considered until after the fact."


• Revolution (Iron Chef: Lyrical Challenge II), by abe (COMPLETE!): "Jane's maniacal laughter rang out as she deleted the window displaying the Batman fanfiction, exposing the 'Phoenix in Flames' image that she used for her computer's desktop. 'Take that!' she chortled."


• Sonoma Coma, by jtranser (part 8): "'Well, Jane, we did what we came here to do. So, when and where do we go next?'"


• Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (parts 3 and 4): "There's lots of stuff that Bro's like to do for fun, like playing lacrosse, drinking, smokin' weed, playing Beer Pong, getting hammered, breaking shit, rioting, wreckin some slut at that optimal time of night that doesn't require you to talk to her." (Part 4)


• Unnamed story (The 1001 Humiliations of Quinn Morgendorffer), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'No Quinn,' Stacy said firmly while pushing her away, 'I'm flattered that you find me attractive but I don't like girls, or you like that.'"


• Unnamed story (The 1001 Humiliations of Quinn Morgendorffer), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked up from her reading and grimaced."


• Unnamed story (IC: Tom Sloane, Lax Bro TAKEDOWN!), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "As Tom Sloane made his way to the kitchen for some za, he hip-checked his sister into the door frame. 'Move, bitch!' he said as Elsie stumbled and tried to keep her balance."


• Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Lyrical Challenge II), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "It had been there as long as most anyone could remember. There were a few out there still who could remember what the city had been like before Wily."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!!!!), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Quinn walked into the room and began to breathe lustily. 'My true love. I have come for you at last.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!!!!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Outside Daria's bedroom window, tree branches rustled gently. Shadows of the leaves could be seen waving across the blankets in a soothing pattern. The horrible pop music playing from Quinn's room had finally stopped. It was a perfect night for sleep."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Hey Daria, wanna go out for pizza?' asked Jane."