Still goofing around while TAG's away

Okay, due to being out of town for almost four days, I let this fanfic update go a little longer than I expected. Sorry about that! I promise, though, this blog is still alive. Technically.



Daria & Son: The Ex Factor, by Erin Mills and Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): "CHARLENE: ...and so that's when I tried to buy the horse a prostitute."

Family History, by Lawndale Lurker: "'What's the matter, Ronnie? You look preturbed.'"

The fiercest battles lie within, by VPrad (parts 6 - 10): "Tom froze for a second, thinking about if he should continue or go back upstairs. Finally his face expression hardened, showing absolute decision. He had to know, if he decided to retreat now he knew that would torment him for the rest of his life." (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10)

Flying the Unfriendly Skies, by LadieT (COMPLETE!): "'Pay attention ... I ain't got all day. I have to make an AA commercial for Lindsay Lohan next.'"


Free Radio Lawndale, by Ken Tremberth & Erin Mills (broadcasts 11-13): "As you can hear, my technical director is sterilizing herself as we speak...and is enjoying it WAY too much, if you want my opinion. Would you knock that off?"

General Semantics, Private Angst, by gwrtheyrn (part 30): "Makkenji pulled himself to his feet. 'Last night, I was half afraid that doctor'd feed me straight into some super-shrink brain scanner, and leave me a vegetable,' he said, as he started toward the door. 'I got the feeling he didn't like me a bit.'"

God Save The Esteem 5: And The Mall Won, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "The Mall was flooded with punks, hippies, Goths, stoners, metalheads, nu-metallers, rockers, mods, alternatives, outlaw bikers, BDSM doms and subs, anarchists, gangstas, and two Orthodox Jews who were thought to have gone to the wrong place until one high-fived a nu-metaller and sung out Slipknot lyrics as a greeting."

God Save The Esteem Ep 6: Model Students, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "Quinn had seen Daria being ‘escorted’ out of school and managed to find out why from that... that nob in her class, Tim was it? Anyway, that shit was not on. Her sis was trying to keep it real and the Fascists were Fascistising her. You did not let that stand."


God Save The Esteem Ep7: I Am A Scientist, by Charles RB (part 1): "The second night, Kevin’s mother opened the door and stared at her in a look of uncomprehending terror, a Lovecraft protagonist who’d just seen Cthulhu doing a striptease."

Hack the Planet.exe, by Brian Taylor and Charles RB (part 4): "Jake picked up his briefcase and walked out of his office whistling a happy work song. He was important, gah-dammit. He had underlings. His work account had a completely unguessable password. And by tomorrow, a janitor would have stopped by to put some kind of air freshener in his office."

Jacob Morgendorffer, Esq., by Cap (part 13): "Jake followed his sister-in-law’s husband Rafe outside into the fading light of the cold winter day. A sharp wind tugged at their overcoats as snow crunched beneath their boots but neither felt the chill bundled as they were against the season’s wrath. A cardinal, its bright red plumage contrasting sharply with the deep green leaves of the cedar tree that he rested on, eyed them curiously as the pair walked silently across the back yard past the pond to the fence of posts and field wire. The large pasture beyond was empty. The goats, sheep, and horses that the Bonnejeans kept were safe and warm in the large barn."

The James Lane Chronicles Ch 1, by InvisibleDan (COMPLETE!): "'None of the doorknobs in the house lock. And no one bothered to fix them.' 'That must make shower time especially thrilling.' 'My brother Wind read some book about breaking down boundaries between yourself and others and decided to break the locks on all the doors inside.'"

Jane Morgendorffer, by LadieT (parts 10 and 11): "This year, Jane decided to ask for less than years past. Santa had two new people he needed to deliver to and didn't want him to skip over Daria and Trent like he had done before." (Part 11)

Joey in L.A., by Cap (COMPLETE!): "The sun was a ball of flame sinking into the sea when a tanned bare chested Joey Mallarme stepped out onto the balcony of his new condominium in the Venice district of Los Angeles."

Judy Blue: A Worldhopper/Worldburner Prelude, by Erin Mills and Brother Grimace (parts 1 - 4): "On the small bed was a young woman in her late teens or early twenties. She had shoulder length brown hair and was clad in a white jumpsuit with paper slippers. She had her knees up, her arms clasped around them and her head bowed. "Ms. Tsereba," Trainor began, "May I introduce you to Daria Judith Morgendorffer?"" (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

Kolchak: The Lawndale File, by Chris Tucker (continued!): "I relaxed a bit, yet was prepared for the inevitable firestorm. It's something any experienced newspaperman comes to expect. First the gladhand, then the heavy artillery. Nobody really likes us. Often enough, we don't like most of the people we deal with daily."


Lane & Morgendorffer, by LadieT (part 2): "'Stacy Clinton - as in Stacy Rowe-Clinton? Great ... our victim was almost run over by a race-car driver.' Jane sighed."

LAW & ORDER: HIGHLAND (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Brian Taylor (COMPLETE!): "As she heard the approaching sniggering of her two least capable detectives, Captain Daria Morgendorffer looked up from the body of Stewart Stevenson, sixteen years old, and mumbled something ugly under her breath."

Lawndale Babies, by rglovejoy (COMPLETE!): "Helen lifted Quinn out of the high chair and set her on the floor. 'Your friends are coming over soon for your birthday party, sweetie. Isn't that nice?'"

Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (parts 1 and 2): "Then, there, in the centre of the room an impossibility occurred. What to be a normal teenage girl, much like Sandi herself appeared, appearing to coalesce out of the swirls of light." (Part 2)

Lion Sharing (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Thank you for contacting you, Dr. Armalin,' Helen said, following the man in the Marine uniform and lab coat down the hall towards a large room, Jake, Quinn and Jane right behind them, 'but how can you be sure that you've found my daughter?'"

Love Rescue Me, by LadieT (parts 3 - 5): "'I'm worried about you. Promise me you'll get to bed early tonight. Valentine's Day is Friday and I don't want my date showing up like he's trying out for the role of a zombie in 'Night Of The Living Dead'.'" (Part 4) (Part 5)

Moving the Goalposts, by Kristen Bealer (parts 1 and 2): "I didn't care that he still hadn't apologized. I didn't care that he was crudely propositioning the President of the Fashion Club. I didn't even care that he was leering at my breasts without a trace of shame. That was all immaterial. The insinuation that Alexandra Griffin would be interested in doing anything in a van? Unforgivable." (Part 2)

Moving Pictures, by Brian Taylor (part 8): "'Hellion's taking night classes at law school,' says Jake with pride. 'If you really want to stick it up the Man and snap it off, you have to know exactly where to stab him,' she says, sneering at Gordon with obvious relish."

Promises In Flames, by thatLONERchick (COMPLETE!): "Stacy's breathing came in quick, ragged gasps as she crouched over Daria's unconscious form. Chaos swirled around them, shouting and the occasional explosion as the fire claimed another gas tank and the destruction spread. A filthy hand reached out and stroked blood-matted hair back from a still face. She looked so different without her glasses."


Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (part 27): "After Helen left, Daria went right back to sleep. This time, she dreamt that she was out in the ocean on a small fishing boat. Daria struggled to reel in a really big fish. For some reason, the fish had bright red hair. 'Daria,' it said, 'I'm done with the shower.'"

Road Trip, by Chris Tucker (Part 1): "4 AM is far too early for the clock radio to commence clamoring for attention."

Save Yourself, by Ardneh (COMPLETE!): "Screaming, Mary launched herself at Jane. Shaking, she clung to Jane, 'Thank god you're here. I don't know what to do? Please, please help her. Please, I don't know what to do', Mary cried."

Sleepwalker, by Jim North (continued!): "Daria laughed, sighed, and swiped her hands across her face before putting her glasses back on. 'You're right,' she said. 'It was a good plan, I'm a good person, and we've all learned an important lesson for the future. Don't trust anyone, even if they're dead. Especially if they're dead.'"

Summer Interlude: "The Last Day", by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "The girls shared a laugh. Both realized that this sort of shared experience would be rare for them starting tomorrow. They would be living miles apart at different schools. Life would be different for them. Far different from what they had known for their scant years."

Summer Interlude: "Last Day On The Job", by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "'So, the working girl has now thrown off her chains of wage slavery, free to enjoy two weeks of freedom until she willingly dons the chains of academic slavery.'"

Two Body Problem, by RLobinske (part 3): "Despite being five minutes late, Amy hesitated outside the simulated rustic-looking building. 'You can do this, Amy. It's only dinner. If things go wrong, you leave and that's the end of it.'"

Unlucky Strike, by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "'Pat,' Terry said, 'it was not required of you to purchase bowling shoes. You go to the little man who rents the bowling shoes, you tell him your size and he gives you a pair of shoes. Elementary.'"

Unnamed Story (Flinging Fourth the New Ideas Thread), by Trscroggs (COMPLETE!): "'I didn't mind, well much at least,' Quinn said as she affixed the poster, 'I could have done without the public nudity but since I prefer my soul unconsumed I can live with the embarrassment.'"


Unnamed Story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'ALL else has FAILED - you've BROUGHT ME to THIS, Li! I'M PICKETING NAKED!!'"

Unnamed Story (Scenes We'd Like To See), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (COMPLETE!): "Quinn and her friend were still squealing (although only a few decibels less and with mere exitement, but still quite loud enough to penetrate the padded confines of her room) so Daria decided to see what was happening."

Unnamed Story (Scenes We'd Like To See), by Chris Tucker (COMPLETE!): "'Well, I must confess. I did grab his big ten inch...'"

The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser (continued!): "'I know a musician who liberated himself by tuning a dream guitar to an open G tuning, hit a note, and woke up to The Rolling Stones ringing in his headphones.'"

A work in progress. Subject to revision, by Chris Tucker (continued): "But it's GOT TO BE BETTER than Highland and Lawndale High. If not, there will be a multi state killing spree. (insertsmileyemoticonifiusedthemwhichidont)" (another new part here.)

WORLDBURNER: You Can’t Take It With You, by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Why us?' she asked him, her voice half-dead. 'Do I and my family really deserve life more than Jodie and hers? Than Kevin?'"

Y-Me?, by HolyGrail2007 (Parts 2 - 7): "While there were a number of guys here, the ratio had to be somewhere around 3:1, and Quinn didn’t like that. Less guys meant less susceptible targets who could buy her a drink." (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)


See, I told you there'd be more! Eventually!

Substitute loser, filling in!

Class, you may have noticed I'm not your usual blogger. The Angst Guy, our hard-working and much-revered regular host, is unfortunately busy with that pesky Real Life thing I've heard so much about. We'll try to keep things afloat in the meantime, okay?

Please promise you won't tell TAG if when we screw things up royally.

For now, here's a great big list of the new fanfic that's been posted on the PPMB in the past week and a half!

Ace attorney: Turnabout Teacher's Pet, by LSauchelli (part 17): "Jane paced around the lobby, checking her spiky hair every two minutes in a tiny pocket mirror and taking deep breaths. Why wouldn’t anyone let her see Barch?"

Another normal day in Lawndale, by JPAGC (part 5): "The girl hold his stare for a moment before lowering hers, gnashing her teeth and scribbling something on her notebook with unnecessary force. O'Neill stopped staring at her and slowly returned to his desk, all the while addressing all students."


Anthony DeMartino Just Wants To Have Fun, by Smijey: "'"The Sick, Sad Book of Slaughters, Mysterious Maulings, and Deranged Decapitations". I got if off eBay for almost $200.' She traced her finger along the gruesome picture on the cover, which purported to be a cow post-alien mutilation."

Daria and the Chocolate Factory, by Smijey (part 1): "'Don't be absurd, Jane,' Daria said, tearing open the packaging. 'What are the odds that, of all the hundreds of millions of candy bars he must ship out every year, I'd get one...with...' Daria was interrupted as both she and Jane's eyes were fixated upon the Wonka bar. A golden glint had revealed itself underneath the wrapping."

Daria/Dorian 7: Motorcycles and Jocks Don't Mix, by LadieT (complete!): "The next thing Dorain and Jane knew, Brittany and Kevin were both standing up and yelling at each other. Dorian smirked as he listened to exchange. Oh great, now they are both trying to think. I hope the sprinkler system works in here cause the smoke should be hitting it at any moment."

Daria/Dorian 8: Love Rescue Me, by LadieT (Parts 1 and 2): "Jake spent the ride back to Lawndale with Dorian talking about school, football and mainly about Jane. Cringing in his seat, Dorian tried his best to block out the words coming from his dad's mouth. I wonder how fast death would come if I jumped out of the window while dad's doing seventy." (part 2)

Daria: Oversoul, by Trscroggs (complete!): "'Well, I can see the whole electromagnetic spectrum and other weird things like taste the color purple and smell thunder. Oh, and if I want to I can do that anyplace in the world without being there. If you gave me a moment I could tell you what color of underwear some random schoolgirl in Japan is wearing right now.'"

Daria: The Untold Story, by Ajar: "No, the pilot they should have shown you and that they should have mentioned so that you should have demanded is the dramatic animated drama Welcome To The Buzzdome. But copyrights be damned such a masterpiece will be - nay - must be shared with the world."

Day of the Yenta, by Smijey: "Jane laughed aloud. 'Oh Daria, I always loved your sharp wit, you know that? Do you really think I went through all the trouble acquiring rohypnol and dragging your fat ass down two flights of stairs just so you and Trent could be together forever?'"

The fiercest battles lie within, by VPrad: "Tom, with the face still red and breathing heavily, approached the book to examine it. He quickly saw that the book had a hinge on one side. He tilted the book and immediately one of the shelves opened like a door, showing a corridor behind the wall, like taken from a James Bond movie."

Free Radio Lawndale, by Ken Tremberth & Erin Mills (broadcasts 7-10): "How do you think the Israelis got started? Sitting in their little huts playing with ham radios, now they're terrorizing the world with nuclear bombs and planning holy wars. I say bomb them now and erase the problem before it's too late!"

THE GOON OF AUGUST, by Brian Taylor (complete!): "'What -- what are you doing, QB? Don't you know the Guild regulations? You can't just, like, shoot a mad scientist without giving him proper warning first. We have rules about -- '"

Hack the Planet.exe, by Brian Taylor and CharlesRB (parts 2 and 3): "Tour Guide Girl looked down her nose at Quinn sharply enough to cut. 'Now are you gonna leave me alone to finish my trade, or do I have to give you the kind of credit rating that makes Greece look like a sound business investment in comparison?'" (Part 3)

Import/Export, by Brian Taylor (part 3): "They'd been at the gin joint's owner, Frankie O'Reilly, for twenty minutes. His problem was an age-old story. He loved the ponies. The ponies didn't love him back. And now he was into the Lanellis for enough money to make a grown man weep."

Iron Cook: Targeted Commercials, by Roentgen: "All of the data collected about him - his preferences, his internet surfing, his shopping and vacation habits, and the cartoons he liked had all been dumped into a computer somewhere in Provo, Utah and after one computer hiccup, Sandi Griffin was extolling the pleasures of Southern Utah."

Jane Morgendorffer, by LadieT (parts 7 - 9): "Helen and Jake needed someone to watch the children while they were in court. Amy agreed with a touch of sadness in her voice. After the call ended, Amy hung her head and cried for hours." (part 8) (part 9)

Judge Daria, by Brian Taylor (Part 3): "Daria decided that this time -- just this time -- she was going to back away really, really quickly. Like, flat-out run. She was going to run all the way back to her father's Lexus, use the car phone to dial 911, and if it all turned out to be some kind of weird performance art routine to scare the shit out of Daria -- well -- she'd just do something awful to Jane's room with the Stickmata later to pay her back."

Lane & Morgendorffer, by LadieT: "'I can't help the fact that your lack of interest with personal interaction made you an ideal candidate for working with the dead, Daria. Douchebag Jackson was in a wreck and I need you at this crime scene yesterday Morgendorffer, so get your ass up and get here!'"

The Last A, by LadieT (complete!): "Kevin slid the test neatly into his Trapper Keeper and joined the others. His fourth grade year was on its way to being the best grade yet."

Lawndale and Sandi Griffin’s Genie, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (prologue): "After an hour of looking at fashion websites (such as they were in ‘99) Sandi went out to her backyard. After a minute of observing her two brothers playing she noticed a glint in the grass. She went over and picked it up. It was an emerald. 'How did we not notice this before?' she asked herself."


Moving Pictures, by Brian Taylor (part 7): "'That's junior correspondent Teddy Olson, I'm Amy Barksdale, and this is Freaks, Creeps, and Phantasm's search' -- she pauses dramatically -- 'for Sasquatch.'"

A New Set of Rules, by Dennis (Part 16): "'Um, Daria?' Kevin said, after she referred to Ralph Waldo Emerson as a translationist, instead of a transcendentalist, for the third time. 'Is something the matter?'"

Raft College: The First Year, by rglovejoy (parts 24 - 26): "'I'm in our room. Mom and Dad are next door, and they're...' Quinn let out a disgusted sound. 'Let's just say that I can hear them.'" (part 25) (part 26)

Scarlett and the Rescue Center, by Doggieboy (complete!): "Scarlett Hawkins sat in the cramped church bell tower and looked out over the surrounding village. The mob surrounding the church had grown overnight, but it wasn’t until the dawn when she could actually see by how much. The steady beat of hands on the building joined with the unearthly moans and the combined noises made her shiver."

They Always Come Back, by OverlordMikey (complete!): "Stacy stood alone on the school roof. She gazed onto the ground below. She could jump… no… that’s stupid. What was she thinking that for?"

Third Time’s the Charm, by thatLONERchick (complete!): "While Edward was busy switching from brooding to musing for a change of pace, Buffy produced a bottle of holy water and sighted on the vamp’s shellacked-baby-butt-smooth forehead."

Two Body Problem, by RLobinske (part 2): "Amy lifted the delicate chocolate treat from the box and took a bite. The high-cocoa chocolate melted, releasing an intense, but not overly sweet flavor. Amy's eyes opened and she said, 'It's not better than great sex, but it's as good as good sex.'"

Unnamed story (Flinging Fourth the New Ideas Thread), by Trscroggs: "The young lieutenant paced back and forth nervously in the briefing room of the hastily constructed underground bunker. Fears bounced around in her head so furiously that they were colliding in her thoughts. Would she be ordered into combat? Would she not be ordered into combat? Would she be able to control her weapon if she had to fight? Could se survive losing control of the weapon if she couldn’t?"


Unnamed story (Scenes no Daria fanfic should have: Ouch Time), by Smijey: "'Jacob, my associate and I heard that you like to play the ponies. Tell me, Jacob, is this true?'"

Untitled, by ShadowedLetters (prologue and chapter 1): "Back in the office Jake swiftly rounded on Helen, 'This is it honey, this is our last chance to change our mind. With the contract as written, we won’t even be able to SEE Daria without your mother’s permission, which you know she won’t give!'"

The Vision of the Burning Cities, by jtranser (continued): "'It's a technique called Dream Induced Past Life Regression, best used during a Sedlacek's Somnosis, from which you woke up a week ago. I'm sorry you had to wait so long for the results, but the sixteen prior existences which impact your problem had to be rescanned. A considerable amount of transgenerational interaction is involved here, to a degree that's far outside the norm. In short, you're suffering from Karmic Overload and someone else has jammed the dump truck.'"

A work in progress. Subject to revision, by Chris Tucker: "'We are at T-minus 4 hours 27 minutes to graduation and counting. Internal navigation realignment and updates are in progress. All stations reporting all systems are GO at this time! This is Daria Launch Control.'" (Another update here.)

Worldburner: Educator DeMartino in "Is It Apocalypse War Yet?", by CharlesRB (complete!): "BENNETT: Angela, before we die, I have to say that I’ve ALWAYS hated you."

Worldburner: The Flames of Passion, by Brother Grimace (complete!): "If this didn’t make my stomach turn, I might mention just how cozy this looks."

Worldhopper (Prologue), by Erin M.: "'I never get tired of that,' said the lookalike, smirking. 'The complete look of confusion and disbelief. It's almost as good as when one of us realizes I just stabbed a major organ.'"

Y-Me?, by HolyGrail2007 (part 1): "Quinn became really annoyed. Didn’t he understand the cardinal barter system of dating? Gift first, then it moved from acquaintance to potential date. Potential to actual was determined by the follow-up gifts."


More to come later! (I hope!)