You Go, Girls!

Jane is certainly having a successful National Girls and Women in Sports Day, because "women can excel at any sport they put their minds to." This quote would be more inspirational if it hadn't been jerkass Evan who said it, but it's still true.

Let's hope she runs like the wind instead of breaking wind, even if it is National Fart Day. I guess that would be one way to keep the other runners from catching up, because you can't run if you're trying to hold your breath.

Still, while farting in public would be a social disaster, it would be appropriate for Disaster Day! With the Super Bowl coming up, be careful not to wear cream to any parties because "Dip is short for dipsaster!"

Fanfic Update!

• A Moment in the Post Fashion Club Life of Tiffany Blum-Deckler, by Chaoslordsquidward (COMPLETE!): "Tiffany sat down in silence in history class. This isn’t how things used to be."

Smooth Criminal Lawyer

Helen is doing her best moonwalk for the anniversary of the late Michael Jackson's birth on this day in 1958. Although the musician's life was full of controversy, there's no denying the impact he had on pop culture.

I'm sure Kevin is much more interested in National Sports Day, and while I have no doubt his first choice would be football I expect that any event where a bunch of guys run around a field would appeal to him. Even better if someone gets hurt by the end of it.

It's also International Bat Night, but not the kind of bat you use in sports. This holiday is about the kind of bat that likes to sleep upside-down and spread rabies or, as Jane would put it, her preferred career goals.

Fanfic Update!

• Reverse the Chase, by BracedRhombus (part 4): "Daria and Jane stared in shock, unable to fully process what had just happened."

Run, Jump, and...Read!

Mr. DeMartino looks just darling as a ballerina for National Ballet Day, and who knew the man could move with such grace? Next time he loses his temper I think he should do a grand jeté right out the window to go on a hike.

While Mr. D dances, Jane will run because it's National Girls and Women in Sports Day! She could join the track team...for a little while, until her teammates and coach get on her nerves again.

Daria, on the other hand, will have none of this physical activity at all and would prefer to celebrate World Read Aloud Day. She could even read out loud at the Better Days Nursing Home, but I don't think it will end well.

Fanfic Update!

• Avatar: The Drama Of Daria, by psychotol (part 11): "'Barch right?' asked a dark skinned blue eyed woman, interrupting Barches internal debate over whether or not to punch the wall she had been staring at and prompting her to look at the woman she knew from somewhere recently."


• The Betrothed, by easmith (parts 7 and 8): "The empty canvas mocked Abby. She was standing in the main courtyard, lit by the early morning sunlight, in the midst of playing children, outdoor classes, and bustling servants." (Part 8)


• Parting Gift, by Rémi (parts 2 and 3): "'Quinn ?' asked Daria in a tentative, somewhat hesitant tone. 'Do you have something to do, or do you want to watch some TV or something ?'" (Part 3)


• Spider Quinn 06: The Lawndale Files, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "SpiderGirl wasn’t sure why Brittany wanted to talk to her. 'What’s up?' she asked."

I Think We Can Guess Jane's Favorite Sport!

Daria has reluctantly taken up a new pasttime for National Sports Day, but I think she needs to think this through. "Sports" is a very broad category, so she could go fishing instead. Just sit out on a boat with a pole in one hand and a book in the other! Or if even that's too much, how about card playing, which also technically qualifies? It can be any card game you like!

Today is also International Bat Night, but I think sleeping upside-down and spreading rabies counts more as a hobby than a sport.

Fandom News!

• wouter reviews Mutant Mayhem.


• Talk about Brian Shaw's retirement from the Strong Man competition.


• R.I.P., Bob Barker and Arlean Sorkin.


• Vote in the Celebrity Deathmatch poll between Barbie and Holly Hobbie.

This is Not the Career Path I Would Have Expected for Her

Andrea's featured in the swimsuit issue in honor of Sports Illustrated's anniversary on this day in 1954. I think this is one publication that both Kevin and Upchuck would be interested in, and it's not often that those two have anything in common.

Today is also Bratwurst Day, so maybe Jake can start up the old grill and maybe, just maybe, try not to set dinner on fire. He'll likely have better luck with that than with today's other holiday, National Tell a Joke Day. Stick to the grilling, Jake.

Fanfic Update!

• An Artist's Commission, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'You're Jane Lane, right?' Jane didn't even bother to look up from her work. 'You want to talk to either Daria or Charles. She's got the afternoon off, and Charles is in a teleconference with some National Legion chapter heads. You didn't check before you flew in?'"


• The Black Sheep, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Zachary Joseph Howard hated the Legion. Not disliked them intensely, or loathed them, or abhorred the ground that they walked upon. No, it was far, far deeper or more fundamental than that." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)


• How cliche could you get?, by starwater09 (part 1): "All that could be heard all around her was loud screaming from cheering fans and clear drunken madness from college kids. One day Daria will look back on this day and still not understand how she ended up where she is now."


• Like People Who Talk, by MarinaTheBloody (part 1): "'So how real do you want this real talk to be?' Trent was leaning back in a metal chair outside of the cafe in a place neither of them lived, her visiting Jane, him coming through on tour."


• Star Trek: Voyager: What a Choice Leads To, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 1): "USS Voyager was still in Borg space. In her quarters, Kes was thinking. The transformation she was undergoing was beginning to become dangerous. Dangerous enough that permanent damage could be caused to Voyager."


• Unnamed story (Hiding in Plain Sight (Alternate LLH, Plot Bunny to Kill)), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Daria - Melody Powers - rested on the couch. She felt that she was growing into the role of Melody - and she didn't like it."


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Stacy lifted herself away from the back wall of the shooting range, her eyes wide. 'That... is amazing.'"


• Unnamed story (LLH - Short Entries), by Roentgen (part 33): "Clifford Fetty always believed in re-investment. There was nothing that he really needed for himself, anyway. He couldn't have cared about fashion, or fine foods, or other things that the rich douchebags of the world cared about. To him, the money was always a means to the end."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria fanfic should have: 600 Years Afterward.....), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "Daria looked at the books. Then at the clock o her desk 00:58 She remembered, some time ago, that she had told herself that she would go to bed at midnight, regardless of how much reading and studying she had done. But now she did not want to go."

God Save the Cynical Queen!

It was on this day 480 years ago that Queen Elizabeth I was born. Daria, in her alter ego of the English monarch, looks pretty good for being almost half a millennium old.

One of Kevin's favorite anniversaries is also today: the sports channel ESPN was launched on this day in 1979. Although he seems to prefer the Pigskin Channel, I'm sure he at least switches over during the commercial breaks. Gotta keep up with current events, after all.

Fandom News!

• Help DIsaac come up with ideas for a Daria-themed college paper.


• Post about any songs that remind you of a Daria character.


• Share footage you loved but which now makes you feel sad in a new thread.


• How many of the 17 problems only book lovers will understand have you experienced?


• Talk about your favorites in a new anime thread.


• LSauchelli posted a new Iron Chef in Creative Writing: The Long-legged!Fashion!Daria.

God Save the Cheerleader!

One of England's most famous monarchs, Queen Elizabeth I, was born on this day in 1533. This would make her 478 if she were alive today, but I'm sure she doesn't look a day over 300. Brittany is posing as the other Queen Elizabeth, who I am assured is a bit younger than that.

In more recent news, the sports channel ESPN debuted on this day in 1979. I'm sure Kevin is glad it did, although he probably prefers the Pigskin Channel. ESPN has an annoying tendency to occasionally broadcast sports that are--gasp--not football!

Fandom News!

• Kara Wild posted an announcement about scheduled maintenance on September 8th.


• The rules for the 2011 Daria Fanworks Awards have been posted. Don't forget to nominate!


• Find out why LadieT and The Angst Guy have caused the PPMB apocalypse!


• Discuss Transformers and Muppets in their respective threads.


• Two new Iron Chefs posted in Creative Writing: Vukodlak's Daria on the Oregon Trail and JPAGC's Quinn goes steady.

Space Kevin Speaks!

[Space Kevin's image is at left, which was once on a blue background and now needs cleaning up. (LATER: FIXED IT!) His comments on his webpage are below; the text was white on white, so you have to highlight it with a cursor to see it. WARNING: Notice which county Kevin says he is from. TAG]

*

The first time I told Brittany I was spending a lot of time playing Fantasy Football she slapped me. So I explained all I meant was I like to make up imaginary teams for make believe football leagues, and it has nothing to do with daydreaming about naked cheerleaders doing pyramid formations. But then I started to think about naked cheerleaders doing pyramid formations and I guess I got a funny look on my face and she slapped me again.

Now I'll have plenty of time this weekend to check out player stats and injury reports and make trades and rethink my roster and order an apology bouquet from 1-800-GROVEL.

My fantasy football team is kind of like the imaginary friend I had when I was little (his name was Sporty and he was always sticking lima beans up my nose) except there are more of them and they don't hate my Dad.

I miss Sporty. I wonder where he is now?

When I first got into fantasy sports I used to play in leagues based on the NFL, or NCAA conferences. But now there's a new fantasy league that's about what I know best: Carter County High School Football! Did I mention that I'm the QB?

See, this kid named Todd K. Feichmann who helped me with my web page last year decided to put his smartness to non-nerdy use to start the league. And he only charges $29.99 to join: he says he needs the money for something called a particle decelebrator. Some kind of fancy vacuum cleaner, I guess.

Anyway, I'd really be kicking butt in the league if only I hadn't picked myself in the first round of the draft. I would trade myself now but no one wants me. I throw too many interceptions, sometime I get confused and call out phone numbers instead of plays, and I keep tripping over my laces (can't I remember to doubleknot?) I suck, I suck, I suck!

Maybe I shouldn't have drafted me. I guess football is kind of like dating: sometimes you choose the most obvious person under pressure and then you're stuck with them. At least that's what I heard Brittany telling the other cheerleaders. Then they all looked at me and shook their heads.

Click below to go to my team page on Cleatopia.com.

[More to come.]