Sunday, June 9, 2013

A Day at the Races

Forty years ago today, Secretariat won the Triple Crown--the first horse to do so in twenty years. The real winners, however, are the readers of this blog: I could have chosen that very, very disturbing alter ego of Helen and Jake to go with this post, but I didn't. Consider it my gift to you.

Also on this day in 1997, Pinch Sitter aired for the first time. Did you know Hitler ate sugar? Tad Gupty knows.

Fanfic Update!
  • ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (part 17.75): "Before they knocked, the red-head asked, 'Hey, why did he get expelled from the Albuquerque academy anyways? I heard he bit off someone's cheek' The door opened. 'I'd rather not go into it,' Ethan said. He looked irritated. 'So, what can I do for you? Make it fast, I'm working with Edgar.'"

  • Crossed Paths, by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "All the sins in the world condensed into one night, and Jason didn't know what to say. There he stood, a slight and solitary figure in the middle of the trashed living room, an open can of Sprite warm in his pale hand." (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

  • Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal', by Shiva (part 12): "After indulging in some well-earned R&R, the Company that was trapped in a room of seeming infinite powers were forced once more to deal with the task at hand."

  • Daria and Phineas: Big Ideas in Lawndale, by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 2): "Perry approached the downtown area of the Wisconsin town. He had rarely been in Lawndale before. Most of Doof's schemes focused on Danville. He located the building that Doof was using for the Lawndale branch of his business."

  • Daria Kombat (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "All of a sudden Daria found herself in an extremely hot, extremely lava filled volcanic chamber, yet somehow she wasn't being burnt to a crisp."

  • Don't Mess With Skyrim! (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Dar-ea!' Quinn whined as she entered the Morgendorffer's living room, 'it's six in the morning, are you still playing that video game?!'"

  • First Day of Summer (Quinn's Day), by cfardell_Brenorenz29 (part 4): "'What do you have there?' Theresa asked. 'Application forms,' Quinn answered. 'Do you have one for here?' 'You want a job in Cashmans for the summer?' 'Yes,' Quinn answered."

  • Kelly Thompson: Party Time Sibling Style, by LadieTAG (part 1): "Kelly woke up to the sounds of Orgy's Blue Monday playing on the radio alarm. She exhaled a long sigh before getting up and heading to the bathroom. She liked to get up early so that she wouldn't have to deal with her bonehead brother or worse, her sports obsessed father."

  • I Loathe a Pay-Per-View, by SacredDust (part 6): "Jodie: 'Talking didn't win this title for me. And it won't help me keep it, either. I'm sick of talking about something that goes without saying. I'm the champion, I earned it fair and square, and this title is a part of me. It doesn't matter who the challenger is—they can't match the effort I will put in. I defend this belt not just with my body, but with my life. And that's what someone else will have to give to take it away. Now leave me alone.'"

  • The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 4, by peetz5050 (part 4): "The bell rang and Jane sighed with relief. She could finally get up off her knees and put away the prayer beads. She was almost out the door when... 'Lady Jane Hammond-Lane? A moment, if you please.' Father Tim was standing by the door wearing an expression that could curdle new milk."

  • Mine, by Vukodlak (part 5): "It was nearing the end of Daria's senior year and Daria was heading home from school and there was so much to think about and to do college being at the top of that list."

  • Quinn was Dumped (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jaws dropped as Quinn Morgendorffer walked into Casa Morgendorffer much earlier than usual, and covered from head to toe in what looked like (and certainty smelled like), well..."

  • The Tiger or the Kitten, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Take...her...NOW.' Jane said wearily. 'Gaaaah!' Daria cried, pointing wildly at Quinn. 'What did you DO to me?'"

  • Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (part 8): "I want to get to the fun stuff, but I have to explain how we got there."

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Boo Hoo), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "As 'Old Yeller' ended, Daria yawned and said to Jane, 'Well, that's it, you want to go see your brother puke on some more people now?'"

  • Unnamed story (Iron Chef: Monster), by Jim North (COMPLETE!): "'Stop zooming, I mean it! If you can see any of my pores on camrea, I swear I'll kill you! Stop the tape! I do not have pores! My pores are cute! My pores are tiny! I said STOP FILMING GAHDAMMIT STOP FILMING STOP FILMING AAAAAAARGH!' And with that final outburst, Quinn turned into something else."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "Daria locked the front door quietly so no one would hear. She quickly turned and followed Jane into the living room with Tom and Trent, her eyes glittering with unforeseen possibilities. Her steps felt lighter, her mood less cloudy, her desire for company curiously strong. Now that she was out of the hotel, this wasn't such a bad day, was it? It might even be...highly tolerable."

  • Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "'So, I found this in my locker today, Daria.' Jane held out the note, which Daria calmly took and read."

  • Zero Blue, by Erin M. (COMPLETE!): "The beam shot out, illuminating the bushes at the side of the road. The near flourescent light making them look like cheap fakes from a movie set. Karl swept the beam along the bushes first at the tops, then down near the dirt shoulder of the road. It was during this pass that he saw the boots."

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