Mmm...Blackened Tongues....

Good news, Jake! It's National Kitchen Klutzes of America Day! So now you've got the perfect excuse to mix up a fresh batch of kitchen sink stew. And the rest of the family has the perfect excuse to call out for pizza.

Fanfic Update!

• ASPS, by PrecambrianStudios (parts 23 and 24): "There was a knock at Gage's door. He set down his GameBoy and twisted his doorknob. To his surprise, he was faced with Flora Gwinett." (Part 24)


• Baking with Jane (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by LongSnakeMoan (COMPLETE!): "It was time to let bygones be bygones and Jane invited Tom and Daria round to try her famous Mississippi Mud Pie, the only thing Jane could make in the kitchen."


• Blood and Water, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "There were more shrill exclamations from the girl. Romonika barely heard them as she strolled over to the bar. She had done this so many times before. Every step, every movement had been perfected over the years, but she never tired of it. It was her family's legacy, and she would be proud to continue it tonight."


• Daria's Dog Days, by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "The Morgendorffers never owned a dog. The subject had come up many times and it was always the same."


• Defeat, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Tom Sloane used what little strength he had in him to turn his head so that he could look out his window."


• Dylan, by J-D (part 21d): "'Before I was at Grove Hills', said Leo, 'people just laughed at me if I quoted Ine Rand.' Dylan didn't bother to tell him the correct way to pronounce 'Ayn'."


• Good Things, by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Good things come to good people who work for them. Now there's a lie if there ever was one."


• The Mageborn Cynic Chapter 4, by peetz5050 (part 5): "'There is one thing for you to remember about Daria, always. She Does Not Lie. Never accuse her of it if you value your health. For years in Mittenstan nobody believed her... nobody... not even me.' Quinn added with shame."


• Marceline and Ichigo, by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Jane knocked on Trent's door. 'Trent! Come on, you're going to be late for your gig!' Trent opened the door, and Jane suppressed a laugh. 'Oh wow. Trent, did you lose a bet?'"


• Melody Powers: International Chick of Misery (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Smijey (COMPLETE!): "'As Melody sun-bathed on the Rio beach, she looked back upon the past few days and thought they were groovy, baby: twelve dead Russians, five dead Chinese, three or four dead Cubans....'"


• Model Behavior (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Hey, Quinn. Went to hear a joke?' A sigh. 'Go ahead, Jane.'"


• Operation Twist (IC: The Swerve), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'No, no, NO!!' Claude the director shouted at Daria the screenwriter. He threw the manuscript back onto the table. 'You left out the most important part!!'"


• Tom Sloane, Lax Bro, by Shiva (part 9): "Everyone that's worth mentioning knows that Bros love sports."


• Unbearable 2: The Lady and the Tiger, by Smijey (part 1): "The bear had its front paws propped up on one of the desks (turned around, as it was one of those desks welded to the chair and it sure as hell couldn't fit into the seat) and had a book propped open between them. If Daria didn't know better, she would say the animal was reading the book."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Schloss Morgendorffer lay clear across the street from Tom. As he braced himself to cross the road, his instinct pushed him back."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by SacredDust (COMPLETE!): "'Want to go check out the potato salad swan?' Daria asked of Michelle Landon. 'Lead the way,' said Michelle. They approached the table, where a very real swan was sitting on a platter and looking extremely bored."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "At lunch at their usual table in Lawndale High, Jane turned to her friend and asked out of the blue 'You know what would be funny Daria?'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "The arguing had, naturally enough, continued as the two humans and one unicorn had strode along. Things petered out as they approached the school. Lyra was simply being sullen. Daria was being...well, Daria, which mean 'quiet and sarcastic.'"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fan-Fic Should Have: MY EYES THEY BURN!!), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Daria shook her head to clear it. Last thing she remembered was volunteering to test those relaxation pods for a little extra cash."


• The Vampire of the Seven Veils (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (part 2): "Daria stepped out of the shower and quickly toweled off, and did her best to ignore the sheer lavishness of Salome Agrippa's personal bathroom."


• We Are One, by PrecambrianStudios (part 17): "Daria and Quinn handed each other pieces of pizza, as Jane tapped her notepad with a pencil. After a moment, Jane tilted her head up to the twins. 'Nothing?' Daria shrugged. 'Quinn's the one with PTSD, don't look at me."


• When the Cat's Away, by SinisterExaggerator (part 3): "'Yes, I'm that reporter. Now, I've been told that you know something about a few disappearances in the area?' His face froze. He backed up slightly into the house, shady but inviting. 'I think you should come in.'"