Joey, Jeffy, and...Jambon?

Happy National Pig Day! I'll take any excuse to celebrate with bacon, so go nuts if you want to! Jamie may be hoping that this little stunt will finally make Quinn remember his name, but if he thinks she's getting anywhere close to all that fat and grease, he's sorely mistaken.

Fanfic Update!

• Cassandra, by PrecambrianStudios (part 1): "Daria shook her head to regain focus, and looked at the obstacle. Even with clouded vision, she could tell who it was, there was no mistaking her towering figure and shapeless blue dress. She boredly waved her hand. 'Hey Cassandra.'"


• Daria and Stacy (IC: Stacy Morgendorffer), by Shiva (part 4): "Daria leaned towards Stacy and said quietly, 'I think me and your friends are going to get along just fine.' Stacy glanced at Jane before saying back, 'Same here, sis.' Daria gave a Mona Lisa grin, before nibbling at her pizza."


• Dat Ass (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Trent Lane was sitting in the Morgendorffer's living room, having come around to find his Janie since their parents had actually called and he wanted to share the good news. That they were going to have a new brother or sister soon."


• Erin Celebrates (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'Congrads on the divorce!' Daria yelled loudly, and clearly three sheets to the wind."


• An Evening with the Barksdale Family, by Gnome (COMPLETE!): "The man allowed himself a brief half smile and picked up the pile. Each was set out in a clear line, with the text faceing the two girls. The line was perfectly strait, and set in order of grade point average. Helen's, then Amy's, then Rita's."


• Jane's Subtraction (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "The phone call roused Jane from her deep sleep. 'Hello?' she asked tiredly. 'Oh,' replied Daria from the other end. 'I guess this means you haven't been murdered. Well, that's good.'"


• Mine (Iron Chef: Fresh takes on Veronica Morgendorffer), by Vukodlak (part 2): "Tom and Daria were sitting on the living room sofa; Daria was reading her macroeconomics textbook while Tom was reading a Critique of Pure Reason. Veronica was siting between them in her PJ's reading Do Princesses Wear Hiking Boots."


• Night Call (IC: Daria Characters Drunk Dial), by JPAGC (COMPLETE!): "(Figures moves more, turning to lie on her back. Voice still slepy.) 'What? Who is this? Is this some kind of prank call?' 'Pa-rank call? Of course this is a prank call (hic) Do you know who's calling...? A fashion Disaster! I'm (hic) a pleated shirt...!'" (Continued by PrecambrianStudios)


• One (More) Little Thing, by peetz5050 (parts 23 and 24): "'Yeah... I'll tell you what... we need to have a proper little talk, preferably somewhere fairly private or at least quiet. Tell me first, have you spoken to your Dad?' 'No, why? Did something happen to Mom? Is...?' 'No... she's fine but I have to tell you something, do you know somewhere quieter than the pizza parlor?'" (Part 24)


• One Year (iron chef: the cult of daria), by random-one (COMPLETE!): "Jane sat at the end of her bed staring at yet another episode of sick sad world unable to paint til her bum of a brother coughed up the money he owed her for gas and car parts came to a stunning realisation one that in all her years of virtual abandonment by her family and absence of all friends had never come to mind at all she was alone."


• Squashing Daria (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "As her mind sank back into her argument-riddled past, Daria spied the large refrigerator box and exhaled deeply. She crawled into it, as if seeking peace amid the lifeless prism."


• Supersnark (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): " The Green Snark and Lex Luthor stood in his office, staring each other down. Neither spoke."


• Unnamed story (IC: Daria Characters Drunk Dial), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "'Skinny?" Are you - DRUNK? What the hell is wrong with you?' 'I'm sorry, Janet! I- I... I don't want to lose you, and I just - HIC - don't know what you want!'"


• Unnamed story (IC: Daria Characters Drunk Dial), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Daria walked into Casa Lane, reeking of alcohol."


• Unnamed story (IC: Daria Characters Drunk Dial), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "Tom pulled out his cellphone. He hadn't called her in forever. But he knew that he had to make amends before it was too late."


• Unnamed story (IC: Daria Characters Drunk Dial), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "[The telephone rings as DARIA lies in bed, asleep. With a wavering hand, she fumbles for it in her stupor and holds it up to her ear.] [INTERCUT PHONE CONVERSATION] DARIA: Who is this and how is your health insurance?"


• Unnamed story (IC: Daria Characters Drunk Dial), by Vukodlak (COMPLETE!): "'What?' Charles groaned as he picked up his phone some time past 3."


• Unnamed story (iron chef: the cult of daria), by welltemperedclavier (COMPLETE!): "Assembled from detritus within and without, the two-story brick temple slouched on the hill, its guardians examining the approaching petitioners through round lens of scratched glass. Their green cassocks and black robes showed similar signs of wear, passed down from previous generations."


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Charles RB (COMPLETE!): "'Um, I've been thinking a lot about why you said we should break up,' said Tom"


• Unnamed story (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Roentgen (COMPLETE!): "It looked like it was going to be an altercation between the Fashion Club members and four other girls outside of Lawndale's most exclusive club (meaning, one that didn't check fake IDs.)"


• Victor Morgendorffer (Iron Chef: Fresh takes on Veronica Morgendorffer), by Shiva (part 4): "As Jesse began to get up off the floor, Danny explained that Trent Lane was his big brother's best friend and fellow band member in a group called Mystik Spiral. 'Are they any good?' Victor asked as they moved to the side so Jessie could take the lead. Danny just laughed and said no more. Victor decided that it didn't bode well at all."