Better or Worse than a Vogon? You Make the Call!

Happy World Poetry Day! In celebration, let's all take a moment to enjoy a dramatic reading by Jeffy:

The greasy fry,
It cannot lie;
Its truth is written
On your thighs.

Brings a tear to your eye, doesn't it?

Fanfic Update!

• The Amazing Adventures of Captain Invincible!, by Erin M. (part 5): "'It's not just that she read the stories, is it?' she asked. 'Spike, what's really bothering you?' The dragon took a deep breath and let it out with a sigh. 'It was supposed to be a surprise.'"


• Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal' (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal Now with video), by Shiva (part 7): "Then as Jane turned to her friend to offer sympathy, but no pills, a chime echoed through the room and a small table appeared in front of the computer. On it were several bags full of pot, some pre-rolled joints, a bong, a bunch of pipes, and lighters."


• Daria and Jane: On Michelle Shocked (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "Jane: 'Say Daria, what do you call a female alternative folk singer who once dated a woman and a mere decade later launched a 'God hates fags' rant that Fred Phelps faps too?'"


• Daria/Dr. Who: A Cynical Earth, by RLobinske (COMPLETE!): "'Oh, my,' Kate said. 'That means that any one of us could have our minds controlled.' 'Or all,' Daria said. The Doctor said, 'Ace, please tell me that you're still carrying around Nitro-9.'"


• Darius Taylor (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (part 1): "'Well we did it Brit,' Darius said while holding up a can of Ultra Cola in a mock toast, 'We survived our first year at Fielding.'"


• Full Frontal (Not in That Way) (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Well, you see,' replied Doug, 'me and Charlene have been trying to give Kevin here a start by getting him a squeeze. Thing is, though, most of them...aren't exactly his type. You think you got any for him?"


• Gag Name Reflex (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Will the following people please come down to the principal's office?'"


• Gay Pride, Weak (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "That's when I woke up, diary. I know that Sandi's not that way - if anything, Stacy is, or she's just so damned horny that she's ready to go with anything that she feels reasonably safe with, and I can see that, more than anything else."


• The Great Genderswap of Lawndale!, by Shiva (parts 3 and 4): "In the Landon's not-quite-a-mansion-but-close home, Joey Landon was sitting with his new kid brother Raphael and their little sister Evelyn as their New Dad, Michael Landon talked on the phone to their, well..." (Part 4)


• Losers No More, by Shiva (part 13): "Since it was Friday, the Snarky Foursome's time had already been consumed by the need to help put the gym together for the dance in advance for Saturday."


• Love is Strange, by Shiva (part 2): "As her new manager at It's a Nutty, Nutty World! continued ranting about the glories of his Nutty Empire, or whatever, Daria found that not even snark was saving her from the horror. The horror..."


• LSD, by PrecambrianStudios (part 1): "'Now girls, I just wanted you both to know that your mother and I are really proud of you both for being so patient in Highland. We know it was frustrating for you both, but hey, things might be looking up!'"


• Mack the Esteemer, by Shiva (part 18): "'...And then Ms. Li came onto the announcements saying that we all have to volunteer our time to get some coffee shack going, otherwise we'll all be suspended.' Just as Daria began to get very irritated with her sister for not knowing when to shut up, Helen gasped. 'What?!'"


• My Sister and Me, by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Jodie scowled at her leader. 'I never treat my sister that way.' 'Trust me - you're missing out. Besides, it's memories for later that you can laugh about. When was the last time you and your sister actually did anything together - embarrassing or otherwise?'"


• Operation Glitterberries: Interlude II, by BF110C4 (part 1): "'Jane, I'm Captain Burns of the Lawndale Police Department Major Crimes Unit and I need to talk with you about Daria.' All that was gone from my mind when the man came in and said those words."


• Playing With a (Daria-Specific) Trope (Scenes No Daria Fanfic should have: Delightful and Naughty), by Silver (COMPLETE!): "Daria wasn't sure what to make of the situation. She'd never been much for the dating scene, or the popular one. And it perturbed her a little just how easily her best friend could fit into both."


• Rude Awakening Ep 13: The Hiring Game, by DIsaac (parts 2 and 3): "DARIA: Wait, WMOT? ... Isn't that the chick that said all that crap about immigrants? JODIE: Is that the same one that called her listeners the dumbest listeners to ever walk the earth? And that one of her grandparents allegedly has connections to Mussolini? JANE: Yep, this one is strictly for snark purposes only." (Part 3)


• Timmy, by PrecambrianStudios (part 1): "'You familiar with a little boy with brown hair, looks about kindergarten age?' 'Oh.' Her voice had taken on a solemn tone. 'Tim O'Neil?' 'I guess. Kids looks miserable. Did something happen with him?'"


• We Only Hurt the Ones We Love, by deneich (part 15): "'Jane when we spoke after school on Friday, was there something that you neglected to tell me?' A vacant stare was Jane's only reply, so I continued with, 'concerning Quinn, perchance?'"


• Where Did Quinn Go?, by Brother Grimace (part 1): "The ongoing mystery we are faced with is the disappearance of Quinn A. Morgenddorffer. There is a slight disruption – a 'skip' in the record-keeping ability, if you will, of the (REDACTED FOR SECURITY PURPOSES) within the (REDACTED FOR SECURITY PURPOSES)."