Hold Me Closer, Tiny Lawyer

Happy birthday to Sir Elton John, born on this day in 1947. Helen is impersonating the singer at his flamboyant best, and she pulls off the look surprisingly well. Not sure how her outfit would be received at the office, though.

Fanfic Update!

• Daria and Co. (Are Forced To) Read 'My Immortal' (Iron Chef; You're Standing on My Immortal), by Shiva (part 8): "Daria grunted before stepping towards the wheel and giving it a spin. After it whirled and whirled it landed on a name, Quinn's. 'Dammit Daria!' she snapped, 'Did you do that on purpose?!' 'I'm not that cruel.'"


• Darius Taylor (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by Shiva (parts 2 and 3): "'Tom!' Brittany squeaked and pulled the Sloane's only son into a monster hug. 'Hi Ninja!' Tom managed to wheeze as she crushed the air out of his lungs." (Part 3)


• Fairly Odd Daria, by peapotmaster (part 1): "Daria Morgendorffer looked out her dorm window at Raft in her usual deadpan moods at all the college kids walking back and forth. But she spotted one boy in particular coming inside. She knew it would be trouble."


• Finding a New Lane, by RLobinske (part 1): "'Maybe, he's not an artistic type.' Trent chuckled. 'Not artistic? He's a Lane. He'll find something.'"


• The Flighty Quinn (Scenes No Daria Fanfic Should Ever Have: Sick, Sad Edition), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'So, are you going to help me find something for Quinn now?' He wished the restraints would let him cover his mouth. It seemed so painfully obvious that she was not. He antsily shuffled in his seat. If he were going to be trapped in a strange room with someone who was now a strange woman, he was going to be comfortable, damn it."


• Freewheelin', by peetz5050 (part 18): "'Mrs. Morgendorffer, I'm Michelle Landon.' Now this woman looked like the former Senior VP of U.S. World. Even with a baby in a carrier around her neck she still looked elegant and professional."


• The Great Genderswap of Lawndale!, by Shiva (part 5): "In the name of getting normalcy back, the next day when the quarantine ended the kids of Lawndale found themselves being dragged back to school and their parents were returning to work."


• Helen and the Ape (Iron Chef: Helen and the Ape), by SinisterExaggerator (part 1): "Helen trudged down into the basement of her law firm. Instead of the usual attire one would expect of a high-powered attorney, Helen wore a dirty janitor's uniform. In each of her hands was a bucket; one filled with water, the other, cold oatmeal."


• Irony Maiden 00, by BF110C4 (COMPLETE!): "Daria always loved to wake up to the smell of strong fresh coffee, an habit that she had developed during her years at the M.I.T. and then reinforced during her post grade at Raft. Knowing this Amy had left one cup ready at the coffeemaker inside her room/library in the Penthouse of the Stark Industries Tower, and apparently already disposed of Robert." (Part 2) (Part 3)


• Irony Maiden 01, by BF110C4 (part 1): "'Ladies and gentlemen, it is my honor to present this year's Apogee Award to Mrs. Helen Stark, a great businesswoman, visionary and most important of all a great mother.'"


• A Night in Theresa's Life (Iron Chef: Theresa), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "'I really need to get another job.' She muttered to herself while getting the hell away from the Lawndale Mall. Having to deal with idiot teenage girls and go along with the shtick of 'Popularity' and it's byzantine rules was really becoming annoying."


• Sideways Through Crossovers (Scenes that should be: Polite Requests), by PrecambrianStudios (COMPLETE!): "Feeling rather bored and angry for reasons she could not place, --- decided she was going to give someone a hard time. She didn't care who, she just wanted someone to yell at."


• Twin Tracks (chapter 4), by oni (part 1): "Sitting back on the cheap plastic seats the building provided, Tomie watched as Jane's ball sailed down the lane in the gutter. 'Don't play much,' she asked with light humor in her tone."


• Unexpected Hookup: Relative Madness, by Shiva (part 10): "The first time that Daria got to see Celestine Floyd in the flesh was as soon as she walked into Ronnie's home and found her boyfriend sitting on the couch next to a guy that seemed to be an older clone of her man."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by 45Ranger (COMPLETE!): "His musing was stopped when heard a rumbling sound. It took him a few minutes to identify it. It was the engine of a large tractor trailer. That meant he was close to a highway. Moving as fast as could, with every bit of his body protesting, he ran out onto the asphalt, falling to his hands and knees."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Brother Grimace (COMPLETE!): "Tom screamed as he saw the horde of cats advance upon him, blocking any avenue of escape through the Stargate, each of the evil-looking furballs sporting a tiny fur hat emblazoned with a hammer-and-sickle pin on the front."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by Shiva (COMPLETE!): "The sun was shining bright as Tom Sloane stepped out from the Temple of Athena where he and several other parishioners had been attending a service."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Tom Sloane looked feverishly in the mirror at his brow."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "'Okay, Tom,' Jane said, 'how does it look?' He emerged from behind the bathroom door, the tightness of the red speedo he was wearing a testament to his valiant efforts inside to put it on."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Tom Sloane sighed as he approached the bench. Of course he had to forsake his businessman training for law school. Now he was stuck in his crummy position as a judge, with no hope whatsoever of increasing his income."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "As Tom Sloane wandered somewhere around Lawndale, minding his own business, he decided to avoid that and have a nice chat with the author."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "There was a heavy pitter-patter sounding on the windows of the Sloane mansion. Tom, sitting in the living room alone, discounted it as a light rainstorm and continued his reading."


• Unnamed story (1,001 Deaths of Tom Sloane - Part II), by SinisterExaggerator (COMPLETE!): "Tom looked again at the neat-looking man in a business suit, who was presently sitting across from him at the kitchen table. On the table was a device of some sort, completely with a very pushable red button in the center."